Speaker 1: Hell I Suck a Dating with Dengler and Jared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast What is going on? Everyone?
Speaker 1: Welcome to an all new episode of Help I Suck
Speaker 1: at Dating? And what a special episode we have in
Speaker 1: store for you today. Not only is it the second
Speaker 1: episode we've recorded since Jared announced his baby on the way,
Speaker 1: I was wondering where you're going to cells like special episode.
Speaker 1: I mean all of them are obviously special, bro, yes,
Speaker 1: but it's also special because we have an incredible guest,
Speaker 1: Dr Nicole La Beach. Oh, I hope I didn't butcher
Speaker 1: that last name. Um, I'm just glad I didn't have
Speaker 1: to say it. I mean it looks like la Beach. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you want to know what actually is? Every time before
Speaker 1: we start recording this podcast, Jared and I, you know,
Speaker 1: look at each other in the eyes through zoom and
Speaker 1: we're like, hey, do you want to bring us in?
Speaker 1: Do you want to bring us in? Jared asked me
Speaker 1: to bring it in, And now I realize it's because
Speaker 1: you didn't want to pronounce Dr Lupach's last name. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it's just because I didn't feel like working any harder
Speaker 1: than I already do. But yeah, let's do. Let's give
Speaker 1: that the reason dr Nicola Beach. What else could it be?
Speaker 1: I mean it's spelled l A b A excuse me,
Speaker 1: l A b E A c h. I mean it's
Speaker 1: gotta be fonetic. But uh, last thing we want to
Speaker 1: do around here, Jared is make you work harder than
Speaker 1: you have to. Okay, Oh my god. So I'm drinking
Speaker 1: this Chai t latte right now and it's choking me.
Speaker 1: And I don't know what the hell is going on
Speaker 1: with my life. But you know, I don't have a
Speaker 1: great episode. I don't mind a good latte. If you
Speaker 1: want to talk about chi tea for a second, dude,
Speaker 1: they're the best. Man. I'm a big vanilla schi latte
Speaker 1: guy with almond milk. That's my jam. So here's my
Speaker 1: I could. I could drink a Chai te latte every day,
Speaker 1: and I did for a long time, and then I
Speaker 1: realized how much sugar is in them, and so I
Speaker 1: like have to. I only have like one a month,
Speaker 1: maybe lots of sugar. But you know what, dude, one
Speaker 1: day we're all gonna die and you're not gonna look
Speaker 1: back at your life and be like, damn it, I'm
Speaker 1: glad I didn't get the chi latte. You know, No,
Speaker 1: I don't disagree. I So when I was in college,
Speaker 1: I went on the Keto, not not the Keto diet,
Speaker 1: the what's the caveman one? The keto that's like an
Speaker 1: all meat diet. No, the oh crap, the caveman diet.
Speaker 1: I can't remember what it's called anyway, just like you
Speaker 1: eat you you catch and eat your own meat. That
Speaker 1: feels like a caveman diet to me, where you have
Speaker 1: to like go out and shoot a moose and then
Speaker 1: eat it, and or what would you shoot and eat it?
Speaker 1: Not a moose? A bear? So essentially the cave the
Speaker 1: paleo diet, that's what it was. Essentially, what the paleo
Speaker 1: diet is is, Yeah, you eat what a caveman would
Speaker 1: eat back in the day. So no processed food, just
Speaker 1: like meat berries. Uh. And you can drink coffee, but
Speaker 1: you can't drink coffee with milk or cream or sugar.
Speaker 1: And on the paleo diet, I got used to drinking
Speaker 1: black coffee for like four or five months, and so
Speaker 1: now that's all I drink, and I think I can
Speaker 1: get away with drinking as much coffee as I do,
Speaker 1: because every time I drink coffee, it's just black. And
Speaker 1: then so every once in a while, I'll treat myself
Speaker 1: to nice chai latte and it's just it's just pure bliss.
Speaker 1: But enough about me to coffee. How many cups of
Speaker 1: coffee do you drink a day? Well, I'll tell you what.
Speaker 1: I got the large from Starbucks right now, ice coffee.
Speaker 1: It's almost empty. I also had that's like three cups
Speaker 1: in itself. Yeah. I also had a Celsius energy drink
Speaker 1: on my way to the golf course this morning at
Speaker 1: like six am. Oh yeah, I was trying. I was
Speaker 1: trying to get that Zoa energy drink. That's the Rocks
Speaker 1: energy drink. Yeah, there's just so much caffeine. And I
Speaker 1: already have two cups of coffee a day. I'm sometimes
Speaker 1: do you have your heart beat quicker than normal whenever
Speaker 1: you drink coffee? Yeah? Oh my gosh, absolutely, especially like
Speaker 1: if I'll have an energy drink, like let's say, have
Speaker 1: a Red Bull. I don't really drink Red Bull very much,
Speaker 1: but like I'm on a long drive, I'll drink a
Speaker 1: Red Bull and like for three hours afterwards, I have
Speaker 1: like pure anxiety. I wonder if anybody takes Red Bulls
Speaker 1: before they go on dates? Do you ever do that?
Speaker 1: If anybody takes a Red Bull before a date, please
Speaker 1: let us know. Email us at what is our email
Speaker 1: at dot com? I gotta really memorize this. What the
Speaker 1: hell is wrong? Yeah? Do you when you work out,
Speaker 1: because you're you're a fit man, you probab work out
Speaker 1: every once in a while, do you take pre workout? No?
Speaker 1: I never have. I never tried it. I mean I
Speaker 1: already once I'm at the gym, I started gaining the
Speaker 1: energy needed in order to work out. But that's why
Speaker 1: I wanted to try energy drinks. One, because they're the rocks,
Speaker 1: and the rock truly influences me. That guy is just
Speaker 1: the man. But two, I wanted to try an energy
Speaker 1: drink because I used to drink Red Bull and Monster,
Speaker 1: but they're so bad for you that I gave him up.
Speaker 1: But now I'm like, man, I do miss that like
Speaker 1: little you know high that you get from him. And
Speaker 1: so he's got a I'm literally just you know, giving
Speaker 1: him free promotion here, but from whatever. Uh, he's got
Speaker 1: an energy drink called Zoa that's like all natural, So
Speaker 1: they're actually really good. Kalin has wild orange, Kalin has
Speaker 1: forbid me from drinking monster. Dude. It's bad. It's so bad.
Speaker 1: Do you ever hear the story about the kids like
Speaker 1: heart that bursted because he drank like three monsters a
Speaker 1: day years. That's exactly it. It's like anything in moderation
Speaker 1: is fine. But yeah, I just don't have don't have
Speaker 1: freaking five energy drinks in the course of eight hours
Speaker 1: and you're not gonna have your heart explode on you.
Speaker 1: A lot of gamers do that. They just like drink
Speaker 1: two energy drinks and then play video games for twelve
Speaker 1: straight hours and don't sleep throughout the night. Don't get
Speaker 1: me wrong, I've had my fair share of those days,
Speaker 1: but there are a few and far between, Like I
Speaker 1: maybe have three of those under my belt altogether. Those
Speaker 1: kids are doing it every day, all day, and that's
Speaker 1: when it really becomes unhealthy. Like same with same with
Speaker 1: fast food and junk food. It's like, you can have
Speaker 1: a McDonald's cheeseburger as long as you're doing it like
Speaker 1: once a month, don't do it every single day. What's
Speaker 1: your favorite fast food? Probably McDonald's. Yeah, dude, mine too.
Speaker 1: Everybody makes fun of me. Though, I'm so glad I'm
Speaker 1: not alone in this statement. I love McDonald's. It is
Speaker 1: pretty basic, Like I understand where the criticism comes from.
Speaker 1: You know, that's like Americana. You know. That's why I
Speaker 1: love it so much. I see those golden arches and
Speaker 1: I'm just reminded of my childhood. God, that brings me
Speaker 1: right back, and and there's such a nostalgia taste anytime
Speaker 1: I bite into not only chicken nuggets, but a regular cheeseburger.
Speaker 1: At the fries, I think McDonald's has the best fries far.
Speaker 1: People want to say Chick fil A because like the
Speaker 1: waffle fries, but I don't know. McDonald's just always gonna
Speaker 1: be number one in my heart. What's what's your order
Speaker 1: when you go to McDonald's. Usually I get the two cheeseburgers,
Speaker 1: which is like number eight I think. I don't really know.
Speaker 1: I can't remember, but you go a full meal and
Speaker 1: you get fries and like a coke with it, thousand percent.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had a McDonald's coca cola? Coca cola, dude,
Speaker 1: it's the best. I think they just like Jack true
Speaker 1: cocaine in that thing, because I've never tasted a coca
Speaker 1: cola better than a fountain coca cola at McDonald's. I
Speaker 1: dare any sucky data out there to tell me something
Speaker 1: that tastes better than a fountain coca cola at McDonald's.
Speaker 1: I think, I dare you. They keep it nice and cold,
Speaker 1: and they make it extra fizzy somehow, I will say. Though,
Speaker 1: remember that, Remember that documentary supersized me from back in
Speaker 1: the day. Yeah, so I remember. One of my biggest
Speaker 1: takeaways from that documentary was, remember there was that guy
Speaker 1: that ate a big Mac like every day for the
Speaker 1: past ten years, and he was like slim, like super slim.
Speaker 1: You had like all these internal problems. Well as we
Speaker 1: didn't know that. I don't think they talked about that
Speaker 1: in the movie, but he said he never ate the fries.
Speaker 1: He said he would just eat the burgers. And then
Speaker 1: I was thinking about it, was like, yeah, fries probably
Speaker 1: are the worst thing for you because they're deep fried
Speaker 1: sticks of potatoes. And so my go to McDonald's order
Speaker 1: is I get to mcdouble's because the mcdoubell is the
Speaker 1: best thing on the menu by far, and one and
Speaker 1: one spicy chicken sandwich and no fries, no drink, just that,
Speaker 1: and then every like four trips I go to McDonald's,
Speaker 1: I get a strawberry milkshake and oh my god, let
Speaker 1: me tell you how good the strawberry milk chicks that
Speaker 1: McDonald's are. They're the best. They literally are unmatched anywhere
Speaker 1: else in the world. Yeah, dude, I would love to
Speaker 1: go on a first date to McDonald's. Like if I
Speaker 1: was a single person right now, getting back into the
Speaker 1: dating world coming out of COVID there, I think it
Speaker 1: would be kind of fun if I asked a girl
Speaker 1: out and I said, hey, listen, this is weird, but
Speaker 1: would you want to go on a first date to
Speaker 1: McDonald's If I was a chick, Well, let's ask let's
Speaker 1: ask the women in this group, Riley, Hannah, could you
Speaker 1: come on here please and help us out a little bit.
Speaker 1: If a guy asked you girls out on a first
Speaker 1: day and said, hey, let's have a sit down to
Speaker 1: dinner at McDonald's, what would your reaction? But let's be
Speaker 1: more specific. First, Let's say it's McDonald's is like a
Speaker 1: sick play place. No, it's a it's a nice McDonald's.
Speaker 1: He's not bringing you into a schedgy area like it's
Speaker 1: it's McDonald's that you are aware of, you are familiar with,
Speaker 1: you know, it's you know, nice enough with the play place. Yeah,
Speaker 1: are you Dean? Are you alluding that he's going to
Speaker 1: bring them into the playpen. I'm not saying there's anything
Speaker 1: like romantic that's gonna happen there. But it's just like
Speaker 1: a nice little aftermeal treat. You know, you eat your
Speaker 1: burgers and then you jump into the ball pit. Anyways,
Speaker 1: let's hear from Let's hear from you, guys, what do
Speaker 1: you think? I mean, Well, but weren't you eight year old?
Speaker 1: Eight years old at one point? And like, yeah, but
Speaker 1: that's like things happen in that ballpit. That's yeah. Anyways,
Speaker 1: Anna Riley, what do you think personally? I don't know
Speaker 1: if I would love it because I feel like I
Speaker 1: would feel sick after eating McDonald's. Have really sensitive stomach,
Speaker 1: so I don't know if McDonald to be the best
Speaker 1: bet for me. What's your favorite fast food? Chi? I
Speaker 1: don't all right, So if if a guy said, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: what if a guy asked you? Because here's the thing, Like,
Speaker 1: on first dates, they're always awkward, they're always weird, they're
Speaker 1: very stale. Sometimes because it's always the same thing, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, guys, you and Riley, how many times have
Speaker 1: you guys got on a first date to a coffee
Speaker 1: shop or a restaurant or a bar, Like I don't know.
Speaker 1: For me, I guess it would be kind of something
Speaker 1: stupid and silly that might be fun. I think it
Speaker 1: depends on how they ask, Like if it's like, well,
Speaker 1: you want to go to McDonald's, like, that's different. But
Speaker 1: if it's like, let's do something weird and go to
Speaker 1: McDonald's and maybe dress up, like just make it fun,
Speaker 1: then that's different. I think I'd done that dress for
Speaker 1: McDonald yeah, suit and tie, yeah, Hannah. I think Klin
Speaker 1: is a lot like you. She can't really eat fast
Speaker 1: food because she has a very sensitive stomach, so when
Speaker 1: I'm with her, I have to like I have to
Speaker 1: like hide my McDonald's in take um from Kalin because
Speaker 1: she gets not upset with me, but she's like disappointed,
Speaker 1: which is maybe even worse. But that's sad. After I
Speaker 1: eat fast food, I have like lay in bed for
Speaker 1: an hour after. So I don't know how fun that
Speaker 1: would be if I went on a first date. Okay,
Speaker 1: fair point, because the first date probably wouldn't last that
Speaker 1: long because you guys would eat and then immediately fifteen
Speaker 1: minutes afterward would have to each go separate your separate
Speaker 1: ways to use the bathroom. But if you guys went
Speaker 1: to like a chip, I don't know. I just think
Speaker 1: it's kind of cute and something different. And like for me,
Speaker 1: I think about some of my first conversations with Ashley,
Speaker 1: and some of our first conversations was about like, oh,
Speaker 1: what's your favorite fast food? What is your go to sauce?
Speaker 1: And it was like such a bonding moment because it
Speaker 1: was something that we were, you know, we could relate
Speaker 1: to so hard that I think back and had it not,
Speaker 1: had we not met in Paradise, I wonder if I
Speaker 1: would have had the balls to be like, you know what,
Speaker 1: let's do something different instead of gout in a drink,
Speaker 1: let's go to McDonald's and get you know, a meal
Speaker 1: and sit down and just talk and have a date.
Speaker 1: But if we're talking Ashley, you're going to shake shack obviously, yeah,
Speaker 1: shake shacks out there. But I think for the nostalgia
Speaker 1: of it, like for a first day, I think McDonald's
Speaker 1: is the way to go, or even Burger King if
Speaker 1: I really wanted to like throw a little bit of
Speaker 1: a wrench in there, you know, let's do. Burger King
Speaker 1: is under rated. Burger King is so freaking good. That
Speaker 1: chicken sandwich. Holy, I had a Popeye spice chicken sandwich
Speaker 1: either day. That thing was very good. Hey, we stopped
Speaker 1: talking about food. I don't know. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: could talk about this all day long. I'll be honest
Speaker 1: with you, but maybe just for the list sake of
Speaker 1: our listeners. Sanity. Um, Hey, we mentioned energy drinks earlier today.
Speaker 1: How come you and Ashley aren't in Miami with everyone
Speaker 1: else from Bachelor celebrating celsius Is party. I don't know
Speaker 1: exactly what it is. Well, we got invited, but of
Speaker 1: course they were very sweet and they asked us if
Speaker 1: we wanted to come, but we we kindly declined because
Speaker 1: Ashley was I mean think we got invited like two
Speaker 1: months ago and we found out, you know, Ashley is brgnant.
Speaker 1: It was like, well, we're definitely not going down to Miami.
Speaker 1: Plus we probably wouldn't have gone anyway, just because we're
Speaker 1: old and you know, I'd rather watch Restaurant Impossible on
Speaker 1: a Saturday night and go down to Miami right now.
Speaker 1: But it sounds like fun. Are a lot of bachelor
Speaker 1: people down there. You guys have a kid on the way, though.
Speaker 1: You need to make as much money as you can
Speaker 1: stack it for the college fund. I don't think it
Speaker 1: was a paid thing. I think it was just like
Speaker 1: a free trip. No, it would have been paid. Callen
Speaker 1: is getting paid to be there, so I would imagine
Speaker 1: you guys would be getting paid to be there. Damn,
Speaker 1: Who's who's down there with Klin? And why are you
Speaker 1: not down there? I also got invited, but I said
Speaker 1: it's zero percent my seeing, zero pus a interest in
Speaker 1: being there. Uh, but it's like Kylin, Hannah, Dylan, Mike Connor,
Speaker 1: Kelly Victoria, a bunch of people. I'm they're all very nice.
Speaker 1: But again I agree with you, not my scene. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree. She's kept telling me, She's like, yeah, this
Speaker 1: person is here, this person is Here's like, thank god,
Speaker 1: I decided not to go to that. And also, Pappy
Speaker 1: has been really sick lately, so I've been, I've been,
Speaker 1: I've been Puppy sitting at him. He went to the vet.
Speaker 1: He's having some early seizures lately. He uh, yeah, he
Speaker 1: just he's been acting weird, so I decided to take
Speaker 1: it out of take one for the team and just
Speaker 1: you know, puppy sit for for Kalin Wall choose away
Speaker 1: partying And what I meant say, it's it's kind of
Speaker 1: up in the air. It was a VET that we've
Speaker 1: never been to before. We didn't really have a good
Speaker 1: experience with them. But the consensus seems to be that
Speaker 1: he might have a brain tumor and it might be
Speaker 1: causing the seizures. And I will say, though I thought
Speaker 1: so today is Friday. On Wednesday, I thought Pappy was
Speaker 1: gonna die, like literally gonna die. And I was thinking
Speaker 1: about I was thinking about how the conversation with Calin
Speaker 1: was going to go when you know, like if a
Speaker 1: dog is suffering, you have to kind of have that
Speaker 1: conversation to be like should we put this dog down?
Speaker 1: Like should we put it out its misery? And I
Speaker 1: was surprised to hear Kaylin said something like I don't
Speaker 1: want to go to Miami and you have to make
Speaker 1: the decision of putting Pappy down while I'm away, Like
Speaker 1: I feel selfish for going to Miami. Uh. And I'm
Speaker 1: happy to report he's gotten a lot better over the
Speaker 1: past couple of days. But but yeah, it's been a
Speaker 1: it's been a messy couple of days since he's been
Speaker 1: back from the vest. So well, we are all setting
Speaker 1: our love towards Pappy's way. He's the best. And how
Speaker 1: how old is Pappy? Now? Do we know? Yeah? He's
Speaker 1: uh we we think he's around twelve years old, I
Speaker 1: would say, so he's still a young man. Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: still a young man. He's as he's as old he
Speaker 1: was born the same year I graduated high school, which
Speaker 1: is just a weird thing to think about, isn't that weird?
Speaker 1: And then you guys went ten years without knowing each other,
Speaker 1: or he went ten years without knowing who his dad was,
Speaker 1: and now he has his dad, and he had his
Speaker 1: has his mom. You guys found each other, right, and
Speaker 1: now he has to be And now we've been talking
Speaker 1: about killing him, which is just really sweet. No, I'm
Speaker 1: just getting I know, I know because I've never so.
Speaker 1: I had a childhood dog, um so Brett. She was
Speaker 1: a miniature long hair docks sinned and she was the best.
Speaker 1: We got her as a puppy. She was like fourteen
Speaker 1: years old. My brother took her after our family kind
Speaker 1: of like scattered around, and one day he went hiking
Speaker 1: with her and she got sucked down into the river
Speaker 1: and was never seen again. So I've never I've never.
Speaker 1: And as traumatic as that sounds, it is still kind
Speaker 1: of like a nice, you know, peaceful ending to a
Speaker 1: dog's life, is it? I don't know. It's it's better
Speaker 1: than just like withering away, I think. Um, so, I
Speaker 1: guess my my point of story is I've never had
Speaker 1: to experience like the death process of a dog, And man,
Speaker 1: have you experienced that? Yeah, we had to put my
Speaker 1: childhood dog down back in two thousand and six, dozen five.
Speaker 1: His name was Casper, and he was the sweetest thing.
Speaker 1: He had in a large heart, the poor thing, and
Speaker 1: it was like pressing on all of his organs and
Speaker 1: he started he had this horrible cough and so we
Speaker 1: had to put him down. It was so oh my god,
Speaker 1: even like talking about it now. My mom and dad
Speaker 1: were in the room together with him as they injected
Speaker 1: the needle, and like my mom was holding him as
Speaker 1: he died, and it was just saying, oh my god.
Speaker 1: Like to think about Lois passing away, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to live. I don't want to live, you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously I'm being dramatic because I have a
Speaker 1: beautiful wife, I have a great family, we have a
Speaker 1: child on the way, But like life without Lois, I
Speaker 1: can't imagine it. I don't want to as a twenty
Speaker 1: year old with did you have a say in that
Speaker 1: decision making process of putting the dog down? Or was
Speaker 1: it kind of like a consensus thing like this? It
Speaker 1: was more I was actually younger than I was, like,
Speaker 1: so two thousand and six, I was seventeen eighteen, So
Speaker 1: I I certainly didn't have a you know, like a
Speaker 1: true say. We talked about it, but it was ultimately
Speaker 1: up to my parents and and we tried to hold
Speaker 1: out for as long as possible. And it just got
Speaker 1: to a point where the poor thing, I mean coughing
Speaker 1: up along every second of every day, and he was
Speaker 1: always in constant discomfort and it was just it was terrible,
Speaker 1: and it was it was only getting progressively worse. And
Speaker 1: so it got to a point where, you know, my
Speaker 1: parents felt like this was the best thing for him,
Speaker 1: and it was. It was tragic. But anyway, let's not
Speaker 1: talk about dogs eyeing with We have a very special
Speaker 1: guest coming up. It's a nice, nice, little weird segue.
Speaker 1: But Dr Nicole is coming up next. But before she
Speaker 1: comes on, I do want to get to one topic
Speaker 1: because I think this is pretty cool. So Paulina poor
Speaker 1: is Cova, Poor is Cova anyway? She a model. She's
Speaker 1: newly single because she was dating screenwriter, screenwriter Aaron Sorkin.
Speaker 1: Do you know who that is? Dean? Yeah? I only
Speaker 1: know him from Entragh. Okay, He's the freaking man and
Speaker 1: he's my favorite screenwriter of all time. He wrote A
Speaker 1: Few Good Men, which I would argue is the most
Speaker 1: re rodgable film of all time. He wrote The Social Network,
Speaker 1: which is one of, if not my favorite film of
Speaker 1: all time. He wrote Molly's Game. Uh, he did The
Speaker 1: West Wing, he did The Newsroom on HBO. Uh. He's
Speaker 1: written some of my favorite films of all time. He
Speaker 1: is the freaking man. Anyway, I found out that Paulina,
Speaker 1: who is a supermodel, they dated. They she broke up
Speaker 1: with him or he broke up with her, I don't
Speaker 1: really know. But she's fifty six. She downloaded Hinge all right,
Speaker 1: and apparently she was booted off the Hinge app because
Speaker 1: Hinge is very wary of celebrity impersonators. So on Thursday, Uh,
Speaker 1: Paris Cova, I hope I'm saying her last name properly.
Speaker 1: She posted a selfie on Instagram and she called out Hinge.
Speaker 1: In this caption, she says, Okay, what's up at Hinge?
Speaker 1: I signed up a while back and was booted off
Speaker 1: instantly because I had violated guidelines. I didn't even get
Speaker 1: to post my photo. My name it seems is against guidelines.
Speaker 1: I called, I emailed, no one bothered to reply. Then
Speaker 1: a friend suggested I use a different phone number and
Speaker 1: my nickname. I got a few nice dates that way,
Speaker 1: and boom. Now when I need it, I discover Hinge
Speaker 1: has booted me off again. What is a lady supposed
Speaker 1: to do? So apparently Hinge talked to People magazine, and
Speaker 1: Hinge assumed that Paulina was an imposter, and apparently people
Speaker 1: reported her profile as fake because they thought that this celebrity. Uh,
Speaker 1: even though I gotta be honest, I didn't know her before,
Speaker 1: but you know, hey, a lot of people do. Apparently
Speaker 1: um was a fake profile. She's not the first person
Speaker 1: to do this. This was crazy to me. Sharon Stone
Speaker 1: was on Hinge. People reported her as a fake profile,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't fake. It was Sharon Stone. Dude, if
Speaker 1: I ever saw Sharon Stone on a dating app and
Speaker 1: we matched, I don't even know what the hell I
Speaker 1: would say, were you a big Sharon Stone guy? Grown up?
Speaker 1: I have absolutely no idea who Sharon Stone is. Oh
Speaker 1: what you don't know Sharon Stone? In hold on? So
Speaker 1: you know Sharon Stone basic instinct. She's the famous girl
Speaker 1: who the woman who like crosses her legs and she's
Speaker 1: not wearing any underwear to seduce the cops. I don't
Speaker 1: think i've ever seen that movie. Man, Oh my, it's
Speaker 1: a it's a super famous scene. I'm sure if you
Speaker 1: saw the scene, you'd recognize in the moment that I'm
Speaker 1: talking about because it's been played like over and over
Speaker 1: again in in pop culture. Dude, Sharon Stone, grown up?
Speaker 1: Do you know the name Sharon Stone? I thought you
Speaker 1: were talking about, Uh, Sharon Silverstead. I don't know. Sarah Silverman.
Speaker 1: That was Jimmy Kimmel's X Sarah Silverman. I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: I'm not the best with names, especially actresses. An actress
Speaker 1: says Sharon Stone and Casino, Oh my, good lord, in heaven,
Speaker 1: I don't understand why these people are um on these apps.
Speaker 1: I feel like there's specific apps kind of more tailored
Speaker 1: towards people of a certain age, like let's say, like
Speaker 1: e Harmony, Silver Singles, Ashley Madison. Maybe they should go
Speaker 1: check out one of those apps, Ashley Madison. Isn't that
Speaker 1: for like cheating husbands know that you're thinking of You're
Speaker 1: thinking of something else. I don't know. I just googled
Speaker 1: senior dating app and those are the top two that
Speaker 1: came up. Well, she's fifty six, she's not bad old.
Speaker 1: You're an agist, bro, that's what you are. I mean,
Speaker 1: I just think that the average demographic of an app
Speaker 1: like Hinge excuse probably like eighteen to thirties seven, you know, possibly,
Speaker 1: but hey, maybe she likes I'm sure there's people in
Speaker 1: their fifties on Hinge anyway, point being, um, do you
Speaker 1: think that uh like there should? Do you think Hinge
Speaker 1: was in the right? Do you think they were in
Speaker 1: the wrong like I was? Let me let me answer
Speaker 1: my own question. I don't think anybody is in the wrong.
Speaker 1: I think Paulina should be on Hinge if she wants
Speaker 1: to be on Hinge. I certainly think Sharon Stone should
Speaker 1: be on Hinge because that's the coolest thing I've heard
Speaker 1: pretty much ever. These big names, they need to get
Speaker 1: on Riya. Yeah, but Ran, like we talked about, Ryan,
Speaker 1: is full of a bunch of wackos. Maybe they maybe
Speaker 1: they're more like us. Maybe Sharon Stone is like us,
Speaker 1: and she's like, Hey, I just want to meet a
Speaker 1: normal human being, and I think I have the best
Speaker 1: opportunity to do that on Hinge. Remember that Ben Affleck
Speaker 1: video where as my favorite video, I forget what the
Speaker 1: girl's name was me, He's like, it's me Ben Dude.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that him and Jennifer Lopez are together.
Speaker 1: It like brings me so much joy. Yeah, I'm yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm very happy for them. I feel like they've been
Speaker 1: a They're like the Brad and Angelina. You know, they're
Speaker 1: like hot and cold on and off and now in
Speaker 1: there waning year. They're not waning years, I guess, but
Speaker 1: no matter how hard they try, they can't stay apart. Oh,
Speaker 1: and I love it because I love that they're so different.
Speaker 1: Like Jennifer Lopez is probably the most badass woman to
Speaker 1: ever walk this earth, and she's one of, the if
Speaker 1: not the sexiest women in Hollywood in entertainment. She's gorgeous.
Speaker 1: She's Jenny from the block. You know, she's New York.
Speaker 1: She's tough, she's she's powerful, she's beautiful, she's sexy, like
Speaker 1: she's got like she's so um and what's the world like,
Speaker 1: she has everything going for you know. And then Ben,
Speaker 1: who I freaking I love Ben Affleck, but he's like
Speaker 1: Boston Grizzly has been known to drink a few beers
Speaker 1: in his past, Like he's just kind of rough around
Speaker 1: the edges. And you know, now they're dating again in
Speaker 1: their older years after they've both been married, and I
Speaker 1: just I freaking love it. I love that diconomy like
Speaker 1: Boston in New York, and I just feels very home
Speaker 1: to me. It feels familiar before before we get to
Speaker 1: dr La Beach right after this break. One quick question
Speaker 1: Rapid Fire best Ben Affleck movie? Oh boy, I mean
Speaker 1: my initial reaction Rapid Fire. You don't need we just
Speaker 1: need the initial reaction in one word, whatever the title is,
Speaker 1: give it to me what you got the town? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I was gonna say. It was either that
Speaker 1: a good will hunting you like apples. We're going to
Speaker 1: break how do you like them apples? All right, welcome
Speaker 1: back to help. I stuck at dating Dean myself, and
Speaker 1: we have a very special guest from the own television
Speaker 1: unscripted romantic series Put a Ring On It, which airs
Speaker 1: Friday nights on Own at nine em Eastern Standard time.
Speaker 1: It is Dr Nicola Beach. Doctor. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for joining us today. How are you? I'm excited? And
Speaker 1: actually it's ten pm Eastern Standard time because we don't
Speaker 1: want anybody to miss it. Oh I'm so sorry about that.
Speaker 1: Why you're good, You're good, fantastic. Oh well, this this
Speaker 1: article on pen Live says nine pm. So they're wrong too.
Speaker 1: We need to get this straight. It is not a problem.
Speaker 1: We are here to fix it perfect. So ten pm
Speaker 1: on Own. So tell us a little bit about Put
Speaker 1: a Ring on It? So if I'm corrected, is season
Speaker 1: two where you follow three separate couples, all engaged, all
Speaker 1: about to get married or maybe not get married, because
Speaker 1: doctor you kind of guide them along this journey figuring
Speaker 1: out Hey, listen, are we is this are happily ever after?
Speaker 1: Or should we go our separate ways? Right? So, actually
Speaker 1: they are all in long term relationships. None of them
Speaker 1: are engaged yet. But what they're trying to figure out
Speaker 1: is should like you said, should we go our separate
Speaker 1: ways or should we move towards the path of of
Speaker 1: getting engaged in trying to build a life together, marriage,
Speaker 1: all the good stuff. So, in your opinion, what are
Speaker 1: some of the telltale signs so people can know whether
Speaker 1: they're in a happy, long term, healthy relationship or if
Speaker 1: they're in a relationship that they might need to start
Speaker 1: moving away from. You know, is the communication good? Are you?
Speaker 1: Are you growing? Are you learning? Are you having fun?
Speaker 1: You know? Is this the opportunity for you to really
Speaker 1: have a great companion? I mean, all of those things
Speaker 1: still count. So if if you're asking these questions and
Speaker 1: you're getting to a dead end every time, that in
Speaker 1: and of itself should kind of be a yellow flag
Speaker 1: or maybe a yellow flag yellow light that says stop,
Speaker 1: take an assessment of what's happening in see if this
Speaker 1: is really the person you should be growing with. Dr Nicole,
Speaker 1: I got a question for you. So there's two hosts
Speaker 1: this podcast. One of us is married and expecting a child.
Speaker 1: The other one of us is uh, just been dating
Speaker 1: his girlfriend for the past two years. Would you say
Speaker 1: this show put a ring on, It is tailored more
Speaker 1: towards the married person or the long term relationship type person,
Speaker 1: Like am I gonna watch it to my girlfriend and
Speaker 1: she's gonna keep looking over at me, like, you know,
Speaker 1: side on me being like, hey, where's my ring? Like
Speaker 1: why have you not? Why have you not put the
Speaker 1: ring on me? Yet? Hopefully not um, But I do
Speaker 1: think what happens if you look at each other because
Speaker 1: you either see yourself in the person in the people
Speaker 1: that you're watching in the present, or you see who
Speaker 1: you were. And that's that's the funny part of it,
Speaker 1: because there's so much connection between just relationships that people
Speaker 1: are having and what you're seeing on the screen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that makes sense, I think from from makes parents from
Speaker 1: watching you know, we love our reality TV in this
Speaker 1: household watching other couples interact on television in whatever form.
Speaker 1: We watch a lot of competition based show so it's
Speaker 1: a little bit different, but it's so interesting to get
Speaker 1: a glimpse into other couples, like perspective, perspectives and chemistry
Speaker 1: is because you can kind of like pick them apart
Speaker 1: and be like, Okay, well they're doing that, but we
Speaker 1: would never do that. But they're doing that, and then
Speaker 1: maybe we want to do that kind of thing. So
Speaker 1: are there lessons that you like as an audience member,
Speaker 1: will be able to pick up throughout the entire show. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: One of the things that's been a surprise to me
Speaker 1: is how many people talk about what they say are
Speaker 1: the gems that I dropped in the show, Because really,
Speaker 1: I'm holding the space for people to really figure out
Speaker 1: what's next for them, if it's long term future or
Speaker 1: if it's going their separate ways. So along the way,
Speaker 1: couples really do get an opportunity to do to work.
Speaker 1: You get the opportunity to see them doing the work
Speaker 1: and then take away from it what can help your
Speaker 1: relationship as well. Have you seen any couples make the
Speaker 1: wrong to decisions, Because like, I have friends in my
Speaker 1: life that you know, have been on and off for
Speaker 1: many years, and I'm like, no, you guys need to
Speaker 1: be together. Your happiest when you're with each other. You
Speaker 1: just need to commit. Or conversely, there are friends where
Speaker 1: I'm like, you guys are so toxic for each other,
Speaker 1: you need to move on. And then sometimes the toxic
Speaker 1: people will stay together and being an unhappy relationship. And
Speaker 1: then sometimes people who I think are so good for
Speaker 1: each other never get together. So have you seen any uh,
Speaker 1: you know, relationships on this show where people have either
Speaker 1: put a ring on it or they've broken up and
Speaker 1: you're like, I think you made a mistake. No, And
Speaker 1: the and the reason being is because the show holds
Speaker 1: the space for you to tell the truth. And if
Speaker 1: you're willing to see people's actions and really see what
Speaker 1: they're doing in reference to what they say they want
Speaker 1: to do, it speaks for itself. Often what we do
Speaker 1: is we look at what people say and we don't
Speaker 1: want to look at what they do. Your actions speak
Speaker 1: to what you're trying to achieve every single time. So
Speaker 1: the show is interesting because what you see is the
Speaker 1: heart of people played out in their actions, and you
Speaker 1: know it's it's interesting because if you have two people
Speaker 1: and their goal is something that their friends think it
Speaker 1: is nonsense. You're looking at them and you're saying, I
Speaker 1: don't even know why you guys think you can accomplish that.
Speaker 1: If that's what they've decided in their relationship, it's not
Speaker 1: wrong until one person checks out, right, right, that's the
Speaker 1: diminishing point, right, So we may all look at them
Speaker 1: and think they're a little bizarre. But if they're being
Speaker 1: bizarre together, go ahead, Dr Nicole, I got a question
Speaker 1: for you, and I kind of want to pivot a
Speaker 1: little bit. We can come back this later if you
Speaker 1: guys want to. But what what fascinates me a lot
Speaker 1: is some of the books that you wrote, and so
Speaker 1: for the listeners that are unfamiliar and correct me if
Speaker 1: I'm wrong. You've written A Woman's True Purpose, Live Like Matter,
Speaker 1: and Choose Yourself, a journey toward personal fulfillment for women,
Speaker 1: And in those books you center a lot of the
Speaker 1: conversations around prioritizing yourself, especially in relationships. Can you just
Speaker 1: talk on that for a little bit, because I feel
Speaker 1: like I feel I feel like for the listener out there,
Speaker 1: a lot of times and myself included, we forget to
Speaker 1: prioritize yourself. And I've always been kind of an advocate
Speaker 1: for a certain level of selfishness where you do need
Speaker 1: to prioritize yourself, learn a lot about what you'd like
Speaker 1: and don't like before you're ready to to kind of
Speaker 1: take that plunge. So do you mind kind of like
Speaker 1: speaking on that kind of stuff a little bit? Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I want to celebrate your question, because I don't
Speaker 1: think it's selfish, it's self care. Right. We've learned how
Speaker 1: to give people crumbs and act like they're getting the
Speaker 1: big slice of cake because we are diminished and we
Speaker 1: are running at the speed of light, and a lot
Speaker 1: of times we want to put our persona into the
Speaker 1: driver's seat instead of being authentically ourselves because we don't
Speaker 1: really want people to see the parts of ourselves that
Speaker 1: we're really not caring for. So the big thing is
Speaker 1: to show up as who you are fully. If the
Speaker 1: person that you're dating can't get down with that and
Speaker 1: they don't think you're spectacular, that's okay. Somebody else will.
Speaker 1: But at least you're gonna have somebody that gets a
Speaker 1: chance to fall in love with you, the real you,
Speaker 1: whoever you are in that space of time. In order
Speaker 1: to do that, you've got to take care of yourself
Speaker 1: so that there's really another person for them to connect with,
Speaker 1: because it's not a two half, you know, two halves
Speaker 1: make a whole kind of thing. It's too whole. People
Speaker 1: make a really good relationship if they work at it.
Speaker 1: So let's say someone maybe struggling to take that first step,
Speaker 1: is there any kind of advice that you would have
Speaker 1: for them to at least start inching towards that direction.
Speaker 1: You know, it's very interesting that we are really good
Speaker 1: as people at overriding what hurts. And if you just
Speaker 1: think about what I just asked, it's like, huh, hadn't
Speaker 1: thought about it that way? There are a lot of
Speaker 1: things that are going on in our individually experiences, and
Speaker 1: avoidance is not the way to get you where you're
Speaker 1: trying to go. Own what makes you angry, own what hurts.
Speaker 1: See how to get to the place where you are
Speaker 1: really moving forward in a place of stability and in
Speaker 1: a place where you really like who you are and
Speaker 1: you like how you're presenting in the world and what
Speaker 1: you're doing, and that will make you a lot easier
Speaker 1: to date, and it will make it a lot easier
Speaker 1: for you to attract the right people to date. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and your experience. What are some of the common themes
Speaker 1: that cause issues in relationships? Communication is like at the
Speaker 1: top right, because it's it's it's the key to understanding everything.
Speaker 1: Communication about money, communication about family, communication about what you
Speaker 1: want to see your future look like, communication about what
Speaker 1: bothers you, what your values are. It is this key
Speaker 1: to having a connection with another person, and if it's
Speaker 1: really hard, it becomes challenging. Why is communication always so
Speaker 1: difficult to obtain? You know? I find that it's you know,
Speaker 1: it's a common theme within the relationships. A lot of
Speaker 1: people say, well, there's just communication. Wasn't that good? Or
Speaker 1: we lack communication? And you know, and I think about
Speaker 1: this a lot, and sometimes in past relationships I had
Speaker 1: difficult community, you know, telling people my true feelings or
Speaker 1: or things that I really wanted. Um So, I guess
Speaker 1: why is that so difficult? And what are some things
Speaker 1: that people can do to make sure that in their
Speaker 1: relationship or any you know, future relationship, that their communication
Speaker 1: is where it needs to be. Vulnerability is the big thing.
Speaker 1: And I know that's a word that men are like, oh, Doc,
Speaker 1: don't use the vulnerability word. Just find the word, right,
Speaker 1: that's the word. Because when you are afraid of taking
Speaker 1: any risks, when you're afraid of really being seen, when
Speaker 1: you're afraid of not being in control all the time,
Speaker 1: you've got to go through all of those filters to
Speaker 1: communicate with that other person. Imagine how different it is
Speaker 1: if none of those filters exist and you're just like
Speaker 1: this is what I'm feeling, this is what's happening, this
Speaker 1: is what I wanted that I didn't get that I
Speaker 1: didn't know how to ask for. Everything starts to open
Speaker 1: up if you're willing to connect. If you're not, then
Speaker 1: you've got to bounce through a whole lot of hoops,
Speaker 1: and most people don't make it through the first one,
Speaker 1: much less the second or third. What do you say
Speaker 1: to people? So I'm trying to draw from personal experience
Speaker 1: here where Uh, let's say it was vulnerable with a
Speaker 1: person I was dating well in the past, and I,
Speaker 1: you know, was preaching the communication topic, trying to be
Speaker 1: over communicative. Uh, tell my, tell the truth as much
Speaker 1: as I possibly can. But then for whatever reason, that
Speaker 1: person responded to it a negative way. And so I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people would absorb that and
Speaker 1: then kind of like withhold certain information moving forward because
Speaker 1: they know what works and what doesn't work. So what
Speaker 1: advice would you have for someone that's like maybe scarred
Speaker 1: or scorned a little bit from us an experience like that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it sucks, right when you decide to engage
Speaker 1: at a certain level of intimacy and vulnerability with someone
Speaker 1: who can't handle it. It just sucks all the way around.
Speaker 1: But I think the difference is learning how to trust
Speaker 1: people the right way so that the people that you
Speaker 1: take these steps with can handle it. So if they've
Speaker 1: shown you they can't be vulnerable, if they've shown you
Speaker 1: that they're not worthy of your secrets or they're not,
Speaker 1: you know, trustworthy in the areas you want to trust
Speaker 1: them with, don't test. Don't test it. If they've shown
Speaker 1: you they can't keep your their own vehicles safe, don't
Speaker 1: lend them your car, right, and then get mad because
Speaker 1: they wrecked it. You've been friends with him for six years,
Speaker 1: they've wrecked every car they've had. Now they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can't get to the run a car place. Can
Speaker 1: I borrow yours? No, because you've not shown you're worthy
Speaker 1: of trust in that area relationships exactly. And then you're
Speaker 1: gonna be mad, Right, But what are you mad about?
Speaker 1: That's that's who they've shown you they are, So you
Speaker 1: can get you're mad at yourself because you you knew
Speaker 1: it in your head. You're like, I know I shouldn't
Speaker 1: have let this person borrow my car because they're gonna
Speaker 1: total it. And I still could not bring myself to
Speaker 1: say no. Right, So, if they can't be trusted in
Speaker 1: certain things, and you see that, then don't trust with
Speaker 1: your heart right when when they can't be trusted with
Speaker 1: small stuff, that's what you're trying to gauge so that
Speaker 1: you can take it step by step. I want to
Speaker 1: I want to share this story a little more specifically
Speaker 1: because it's the first thing that I keep thinking about
Speaker 1: whenever we're talking about this. So along time, time ago,
Speaker 1: I just started dating this wonderful girl long like many
Speaker 1: years ago, and early on in the relationship, I had
Speaker 1: a phone call with the girl that I was dating
Speaker 1: before her, so my ex girlfriend and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: we talked for a couple hours, kind of ironed a
Speaker 1: few things out, and after the phone call, I was
Speaker 1: like a little you know, emotional and a little like
Speaker 1: distraught by everything. And so I went to my my
Speaker 1: then girlfriend that I was dating at the time, and
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, I just want to let you know,
Speaker 1: like I had a conversation with my ex, I'll be
Speaker 1: honest with you, like it kind of messed me up
Speaker 1: a little bit. And she came down with the smite
Speaker 1: of a thousand I don't know, Goliath right on top
Speaker 1: of me. She's like, she's yelling at me for talking
Speaker 1: to my ex girlfriend. She was upset that I was,
Speaker 1: you know, like sorting through these emotions and so whenever
Speaker 1: I think about this stuff like that kind of then
Speaker 1: taught me to withhold certain aspects of my life because
Speaker 1: I was like, well, if I was scoring so greatly
Speaker 1: for being honest about this thing that I was like
Speaker 1: literally just looking for a venting resource, now I like,
Speaker 1: I just don't. I'm just gonna go ahead and withhold
Speaker 1: that from everyone. Don't do that, Dean. Well, in hindsight,
Speaker 1: I know, but at the time I was, I was
Speaker 1: messed up from both from talking to my ex and
Speaker 1: then from getting reprimanded so heavily from my current girlfriends. Well,
Speaker 1: you know the thing about it again, trust right, you
Speaker 1: came and you gave her all this stuff, and hopefully Jared,
Speaker 1: he didn't say, so, I just had this twelve hour
Speaker 1: conversation with my ex girlfriend. I want to share it
Speaker 1: with you. That's not a good lead in right. So
Speaker 1: so it's kind of like you have to prepare the
Speaker 1: other person for what you're going to bring so that
Speaker 1: when you're vulnerable, they are safe in your vulnerability versus
Speaker 1: thinking they now have to be defensive and protect themselves. Okay, right,
Speaker 1: you know I wish I wish I knew that back then,
Speaker 1: But you know, we're living, we're learning, we're growing. Yeah. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things I wish I knew ten
Speaker 1: years ago. You know. Uh, Dr Nicole, Before you get
Speaker 1: out of here, I need to talk a little bit
Speaker 1: about your International Slumber Party next weekend, which is very exciting.
Speaker 1: It's a virtual conference for young women between the ages
Speaker 1: of eighteen and um. Yeah, I want you to talk
Speaker 1: a little bit about why you did it and and
Speaker 1: what it's all about and how people can sign up.
Speaker 1: It's going to be amazing. The International Slumber Party is
Speaker 1: the world's largest slumber party. It happens on July thirty one.
Speaker 1: As you said, we now have fifty countries registered to
Speaker 1: be at the party. We're expecting over ten thousand young
Speaker 1: women of color around the world. And the reason we
Speaker 1: did it was because, you know, I'm an adject professor
Speaker 1: at Spammer College here in Atlanta, and when COVID happened,
Speaker 1: they had to go instantly to virtual class and you
Speaker 1: could see the diminishing spirit of the young ladies. They
Speaker 1: didn't have a chance to say goodbye to their friends,
Speaker 1: they didn't know which way was up, they didn't know
Speaker 1: if they'd be able to get their things back from campus.
Speaker 1: Everything was us in this crazy space and we were like,
Speaker 1: you know, if we could do something for them that
Speaker 1: would keep them motivated, because of course we didn't know
Speaker 1: it was gonna last over a year. This was summer
Speaker 1: of last year, and we were like, if we could
Speaker 1: do something and keep them motivated, what would that be.
Speaker 1: So we got fifty girls together to do a focus
Speaker 1: group and they said, well, we'd love to do something
Speaker 1: virtual that was really cool that could connect us with
Speaker 1: girls everywhere that we would never get the chance to meet.
Speaker 1: And that's what created. You know, my partner, business partner
Speaker 1: and I created the International Slumber Party and it's free.
Speaker 1: We have young women from every part of the world
Speaker 1: that are coming and we've removed removed the obstacles of cost,
Speaker 1: because everybody's got a different opportunity when it comes to
Speaker 1: socioeconomic status, so we've taken that away and they are
Speaker 1: coming from everywhere to be in our virtual mansion. Guys,
Speaker 1: did I tell you it was in a virtual mansion?
Speaker 1: Didn't I didn't hear about this mansion part sounds fancy.
Speaker 1: It's not a zoom, it's a too D virtual mansion,
Speaker 1: thirteen rooms. They're decked out, live DJ speakers, panelists, fireside chats.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be amazing. That sounds awesome. Wow, well that's
Speaker 1: super exciting. So anybody listening, well, any woman listening to
Speaker 1: this right now, go to www dot International slumber Party
Speaker 1: dot com. It sounds like it's going to be an
Speaker 1: incredible event. Dr n Coole, thank you so much once
Speaker 1: again for joining us, and of course everybody listening to
Speaker 1: this Friday nights ten pm on OWN, make sure you
Speaker 1: tune into season two of Put a Ring on It.
Speaker 1: Dr Nicole please come back anytime. Absolutely, thanks guys. I
Speaker 1: enjoyed it. Everyone, welcome back to help I Suck at
Speaker 1: Dating and it's time for Everyone's a k A. My
Speaker 1: favorite segment. It's time for emails. And before we get
Speaker 1: to them, I just want to say, please send us
Speaker 1: some emails with your dating stories. I second dating at
Speaker 1: i heeart Media dot com. Are producers are writing them
Speaker 1: anonymously solely, so we have content for this segment, and
Speaker 1: we just got we got to do better than that,
Speaker 1: so I suck a dating at iHeart media dot com.
Speaker 1: Send him over. We would love to discuss them here,
Speaker 1: but first one, it looks like Riley wants to give
Speaker 1: it a read, which is funny because she probably wrote it.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about, but this is
Speaker 1: from anonymous. Anonymous says, my boyfriend and I have been
Speaker 1: dating for almost three years now. I've been recently noticing
Speaker 1: that he is becoming more distant and secretive. He never
Speaker 1: used to be like this. At first, I thought maybe
Speaker 1: the pandemic was putting him in a funk, but now
Speaker 1: I'm not so sure. He is constantly on his phone
Speaker 1: and I can't help but think he is talking to
Speaker 1: someone else. Help. What do you guys think? Do you
Speaker 1: think he is cheating on me? Or he has just
Speaker 1: lost interest. I've tried to ask him what is wrong,
Speaker 1: but he always says nothing. He doesn't even seem he
Speaker 1: doesn't even seem like he wants to talk about anything anymore. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's sad. Well, maybe you just need to put the
Speaker 1: phones down and have a nice uh, a nice disconnected
Speaker 1: from your phone's meal. Maybe you reignite some romance. I
Speaker 1: I think about this sometimes too, because I'm on my
Speaker 1: phone pretty often, but I'm not like texting people. I'm
Speaker 1: either like texting my friends or scrolling Instagram. And it's funny, actually,
Speaker 1: so Calin pointed this out to me yesterday or a
Speaker 1: couple of days ago, that on Instagram now, if you
Speaker 1: go to the search a search page, there's like a
Speaker 1: little bar under the search bar that has all of
Speaker 1: these like suggestions for things that you want to search for,
Speaker 1: and it's like, it would be an interesting I want
Speaker 1: to see. I want to I want you guys to
Speaker 1: read what years are if you don't mind. Dude, my
Speaker 1: first one so embarrassing. I really, I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's it's so embarrassing. Let's hear it first. No, my
Speaker 1: first one is Superman cosplays so embarrassing. I have horror art,
Speaker 1: Marvel memes, inspirational quotes, thor Ragnarock movie review. College football,
Speaker 1: that's a weird one. I don't watch college football, fitness motivation,
Speaker 1: and Chief's Kingdom dow All I do is look up
Speaker 1: Tom Brady. How is Tom Brady not here? I'm almost
Speaker 1: offended that Tom Brady is not on here? Isn't that
Speaker 1: funny that that's like a kind of a little snapshot
Speaker 1: into what you consume when you're on Instagram. I would
Speaker 1: imagine at least like I don't know where all those
Speaker 1: words would come from here in mine. Mine are travel, photography,
Speaker 1: golf lessons, rock climbing, base jumping, outdoor adventures, beach bum hazy,
Speaker 1: I p A, and coastal living. So more or less
Speaker 1: a little more accurate than yours. I would say, I'm
Speaker 1: surprised you don't have Superman cosplay. Surprised as well, Raley
Speaker 1: and Hannah, what are yours? I'm just curious if you
Speaker 1: guys don't mind sharing that is, look nothing, Are you
Speaker 1: sure you can update your Instagram? You go to search
Speaker 1: and it's just right under the little search bar. Seem
Speaker 1: oh interesting, Raley, what about you? Mind's either that little Yeah,
Speaker 1: those little words okay are very generic shop, travel, decre style,
Speaker 1: food art. You obviously don't search for much on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, maybe that just means we're on
Speaker 1: Instagram way too much, because ours are way too appointed.
Speaker 1: I mean, I found out on this uh podcast that
Speaker 1: I'm definitely searching Superman cosplay way too much. I did
Speaker 1: search that though, because I was like, you know, what
Speaker 1: for for Halloween this year. I almost want to like
Speaker 1: get a Superman cosplay outfit and like go full in
Speaker 1: for the coolest Halloween costume ever, like shave cut my
Speaker 1: hair like Superman, get the full suit like that's like,
Speaker 1: you know, really tight to my body. So that's what
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about, Like spend a full like whatever. It's
Speaker 1: like a real Superman costume cost probably like a close
Speaker 1: to a thousand dollars. I bet no. I saw a
Speaker 1: couple on there. I mean, granted they could be really crappy,
Speaker 1: but I saw a couple that were like two hundred bucks.
Speaker 1: It's not bad to rent, oh, but let's be honest,
Speaker 1: renting probably is the way to go because it's like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I mean, how many times are not gonna
Speaker 1: wear this thing? Well, you would probably wear it every
Speaker 1: single year, especially if you like spend that much money
Speaker 1: on a real costume, you would wear that costume every chance.
Speaker 1: You could get a thousand percent with Cape online god
Speaker 1: Bro so freaking awesome anyway, Anonymous, I agree with Dean.
Speaker 1: Just have a scheduled day or a date where you're
Speaker 1: not on your phones, because it is very important actually,
Speaker 1: and I find ourselves in the same predicament where we're
Speaker 1: on our phones a lot of times we don't spend
Speaker 1: quality time together. Make sure you schedule a time, dinner,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, watching TV. You put your phone's away,
Speaker 1: You make sure they're not near you so you can't
Speaker 1: grab anything. So anytime there is a moment of being bored,
Speaker 1: you don't immediately you go to your phone, You start
Speaker 1: talking with your partner, or you know, start doing anything
Speaker 1: else besides scrolling on Instagram. Right, I agree, Um, but
Speaker 1: I think that a lot of couples are probably face
Speaker 1: of that nowadays too. It's like, whenever we get the
Speaker 1: first taste of boredom coming on, we can grab our
Speaker 1: phones and open up our phone into Instagram, TikTok one
Speaker 1: of the thousands of apps that are out there to
Speaker 1: basically buy our time with so you're not alone. Like
Speaker 1: obviously there's a lot of other people that are dealing
Speaker 1: with something similar. I agree. I think it's just a
Speaker 1: matter of taking making the concerted effort to put your
Speaker 1: phones down and connect on a more spiritual level. YEA,
Speaker 1: all right, should get to the next one, Hannah, if
Speaker 1: you don't mind, This was definitely written by Hannah, and
Speaker 1: she just changed her name too Haling a very false However,
Speaker 1: this is from Haley and it says the other night,
Speaker 1: when I was drunk, I texted my ex that I
Speaker 1: miss him, but I actually don't. We have been broken
Speaker 1: up for about two years now and never speak. Why
Speaker 1: did I do this? Do you think deep down I
Speaker 1: actually do miss him? Or am I just lonely? I
Speaker 1: am spiraling and need how this is the easiest email
Speaker 1: of all time. You were lonely, you were drunk, you
Speaker 1: were lonely, and you wanted something easy, so you texted
Speaker 1: your X. They never responded. You move on and you're fine.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with what you did. We've all been there.
Speaker 1: We've all texted X when we're a little drunk because
Speaker 1: we missed the good old days, or will we perceived
Speaker 1: to be the good old days, even though most likely
Speaker 1: they were the bad days, which is why it ended.
Speaker 1: You don't miss him, You don't, You're not still in
Speaker 1: love with them, you were lonely, totally cool, Just move
Speaker 1: on with your life. It's I don't think Nick was
Speaker 1: the one that coined this phrase, but I've seen him
Speaker 1: share a couple of times. He always says, you don't
Speaker 1: miss him, You're just lonely. Then I agree. I think
Speaker 1: that kind of dials it in. UM. I will say,
Speaker 1: though it's not abnormal at least in my experience to
Speaker 1: have thoughts about ex girlfriends. There are times where I'll like,
Speaker 1: wake up, I think I've talked about this before. I'll
Speaker 1: wake up and I'll be like, wow, I try to
Speaker 1: dream about my ex girlfriend that I did it eight
Speaker 1: years ago, and it felt so real when I look
Speaker 1: over and Killen's laying right next to you, and I
Speaker 1: feel like so guilty and gross because I was like,
Speaker 1: why did I have a dream about a girl I
Speaker 1: did it eight years ago. I think it's just like, granted,
Speaker 1: your yeah, it's natural, And there's obviously difference between being
Speaker 1: drunk and texting someone and dreaming about a girl that
Speaker 1: used to date. But I guess the point kind of
Speaker 1: remains the same, where it's like, sometimes these thoughts just
Speaker 1: sneak into your brain and they take control and all
Speaker 1: you can do. So again it's a little different is
Speaker 1: just don't take action on those thoughts. You clearly took action. UM.
Speaker 1: I hope that there's not too much trouble to come
Speaker 1: from a text like that. I've been I've been on
Speaker 1: both ends of a text like that. I've definitely texted
Speaker 1: X to say and I missed them, And I have
Speaker 1: definitely received texts from ex is saying they missed me.
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you one thing, neither of them are
Speaker 1: ket so hopefully, hopefully it's a one time thing. So
Speaker 1: it's most likely. Yeah, Haley just trying not to do
Speaker 1: it again. But it's not a big deal. And uh,
Speaker 1: but like Dean said, we're I mean, we're human beings.
Speaker 1: We're curious creatures, you know, so like, of course we
Speaker 1: think about our exes from time to time, like I'm
Speaker 1: sure Dean and I can tell from personal experience from
Speaker 1: like even I love my wife more than anything, But
Speaker 1: of course my brain has been like I wonder what
Speaker 1: my life would be like if I was still with
Speaker 1: this person, Like what would have happened to my life
Speaker 1: if I didn't go on Bachelor and I ended up
Speaker 1: marrying this person instead my ex You know, it's just
Speaker 1: like you think about those things and there's nothing wrong.
Speaker 1: You're not doing anything wrong by having that thought past
Speaker 1: your brain. It's just what happens you wonder, know, what's
Speaker 1: weird that I just thought about that? This is gonna
Speaker 1: be way too much information that I regret sharing. Is
Speaker 1: all of the all of the ex girlfriends that end
Speaker 1: up in my dreams are girls like it's it was,
Speaker 1: it's like my college girlfriend, or my high school girlfriend,
Speaker 1: or like my post college adult life girlfriend. It's never girls.
Speaker 1: It's never like a girl that I dated from Bachelor.
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever had a dream with any
Speaker 1: of those girls. It's just I don't know why that is.
Speaker 1: And again, probably too much information. There's not really any
Speaker 1: point to what I'm saying. I just thought it was
Speaker 1: an interesting thing, and I'm just now realizing for the
Speaker 1: first time, and I'm just basically now, maybe those relationships
Speaker 1: were just more meaningful and impactful than the relationships you
Speaker 1: had on Batchel. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 1: I don't know. But sometimes I'll have a dream of
Speaker 1: a girl that I learned like three dates with when
Speaker 1: I was like twenty four, and I'm like, why, why,
Speaker 1: why are why are you in here that you don't
Speaker 1: belong here? And then and then yeah and then yeah, whatever.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe I maybe it's it's not important anymore.
Speaker 1: Riley Hannah, do you guys is this just a guy thing,
Speaker 1: or you guys thought about excess too and been like, wow,
Speaker 1: I wonder what would my life be like right now
Speaker 1: if I'll still with this. I think it's super natural
Speaker 1: to think about people that were significant in your life
Speaker 1: at a certain point, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1: So so let's say your boyfriend woke up and said
Speaker 1: he had a dream about a girl that he used
Speaker 1: to day. You wouldn't You wouldn't be bothered by it
Speaker 1: in any way? Oh, you immediately killing Well, I think
Speaker 1: deep down it would bother me. But I mean that's
Speaker 1: happened to me too, so I feel like I couldn't
Speaker 1: be mad at him, right, I agree? Okay, Riley, what
Speaker 1: about you? I agree? I don't. I don't think it
Speaker 1: would bother me. I think I would want to ask
Speaker 1: what the dream was specifically, um because things, But like
Speaker 1: Hanna said, deep down it might be a little curious
Speaker 1: to me why, but it wouldn't bother me that much.
Speaker 1: Let's say worst case scenario, there was like a physical
Speaker 1: spark in the dream between the guy and his ex girlfriend.
Speaker 1: That's then you don't share that. You're like, hey, they
Speaker 1: were my dream and we were in the library just
Speaker 1: talking to each other and then that was it. That
Speaker 1: was the whole dream. It was crazy. Hey listen, Dr
Speaker 1: Nicole says, communication, communication, communication, Good luck with that. Why
Speaker 1: don't you tell Kalen that? And and let us report
Speaker 1: back next podcast, tell us how it went. You guys
Speaker 1: know the movie Interstellar, Yeah, of course great. Uh there's
Speaker 1: that quote when McConaughey asks what his honesty setting is
Speaker 1: at and Tauris says, because honesty is never the proper
Speaker 1: way to talk to humans or something like that, and
Speaker 1: I think there's some truth honesty. It's probably a good
Speaker 1: Taras says, I just looked at the Tara says, absolute
Speaker 1: honesty isn't always the most diplomatic nor the safest form
Speaker 1: of communication with emotional beings, so I couldn't agree with
Speaker 1: Tars more. Yeah, you know, tars Tars is a really
Speaker 1: smart robot. Anyways, that's gonna do a great movie. That
Speaker 1: soundtrack by Hans Zimmer is incredible. The docking scene, dude,
Speaker 1: that that docking scene is one of the coolest scenes
Speaker 1: in cinematic history. Where McConaughey she's like she uh, she's like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing and he's like docking and then
Speaker 1: They're like, it's impossible. He goes, no, it's necessary, and
Speaker 1: then the music swells up. Oh my god. Anyway, hell
Speaker 1: of way to end the podcast. But it's awesome. Hans
Speaker 1: Zimmer has to have. Like, as far as composers go,
Speaker 1: Hans Zimmer is just the top of the top. He's
Speaker 1: all over the place and every Hans and John Williams,
Speaker 1: those are the Those are the two best film composers
Speaker 1: of all time, hands down, not even competition. Well, you
Speaker 1: want to know why Hans Zimmer is better than John
Speaker 1: Williams is because I've never heard the name John Williams before.
Speaker 1: What you don't know John Williams I did. Okay, let
Speaker 1: me just give a quick rundown of what he's done
Speaker 1: in cinematic history. Star Wars, Superman, Jaws, Indiana, Jones, Et,
Speaker 1: Jurassic Park, Schindler's List. Has he done anything in the Okay? Okay,
Speaker 1: so he's done the Jaws theme, the Et theme, the
Speaker 1: Superman theme, the Star Wars theme, the Jurassic Park theme,
Speaker 1: the Harry Potter Thereme, pretty much any huge theme in
Speaker 1: cinematic history. John Williams has done. But Hans Zimmer is
Speaker 1: freaking awesome. I'd say, Hans Zimmer is pretty awesome. He's
Speaker 1: the man. He's top two. John. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: want a nitpick, but the movies you just named were
Speaker 1: made in the eighties and nineties. It's like, what have
Speaker 1: you done for me lately? Hans still comes out with bangers.
Speaker 1: Everything he touches turns to gold. To this day, Hans
Speaker 1: Zimmer had a set up Coachella like three years ago.
Speaker 1: Like that is crazy. Oh, it was awesome. I saw
Speaker 1: him live one time. He was in Connecticut and it
Speaker 1: was awesome. I went by myself because no one else
Speaker 1: will go see Hans with me. Yeah, you probably couln't
Speaker 1: get anyone go see John Williams with it either because
Speaker 1: he's dead, probably because he's been composing for fifty years.
Speaker 1: He's still living. He's like ninety three, though he's up there,
Speaker 1: he's older than Pappy. I agree with Riley, this is
Speaker 1: really great open communication. But it's time to end the communication.
Speaker 1: Let's go ahead and say goodbye, big thank you to
Speaker 1: Dr Nicole. Be sure to check her show out put
Speaker 1: hering on it at ten pm on what network Jared
Speaker 1: own The OPRA Network, the Oprah Winfrey Network, the network
Speaker 1: that's absolutely right. Thanks to Jared, Riley and Hannah for
Speaker 1: the open communication that we had all episode long. And
Speaker 1: that's fantastic. Anything else before we part ways, that will
Speaker 1: do it, my friend. Great. Well, next time we talked
Speaker 1: to you work, we're I think we're gonna be recording
Speaker 1: live from Napa Valley Wine Country. I won't be there though. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: You're not coming to Napa. No, Ashley can't fly across country.
Speaker 1: What yeah, dude, I know it sucks. I'm sorry. I
Speaker 1: thought I broke the news to you already. I was
Speaker 1: a coupla forgot. We still are doing the verse full
Speaker 1: meet and greet Suck Army Summer Baby Friday July from
Speaker 1: UH seven to eight pm Eastern Standard time four to
Speaker 1: five pm Pacific time. That is next Friday July. I
Speaker 1: will not be in Nappa unfortunately, but I'm I can't
Speaker 1: believe we're not coming to Nappa. Dude, I know, but
Speaker 1: Ashley sick. Her doctor was like, I don't advise you
Speaker 1: getting on a cross country flight to be there for
Speaker 1: two nights to listen, Like, you know, I don't care
Speaker 1: about any of that stuff. Actually can stay home, but
Speaker 1: you could definitely get on a cross country flight actually
Speaker 1: got all that family out there to help. I was
Speaker 1: gonna go, but then it was like, well, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna go by myself without her, and we talked to
Speaker 1: Amy and I was like, well, we'll just stay home,
Speaker 1: but we're gonna still do the virtual event. I will
Speaker 1: be a part of this virtual event, unfortunately not be
Speaker 1: in Napa, which actually makes me quite sad. I was
Speaker 1: talking to Riley and Hannah about it because it's a
Speaker 1: good group going. Ben jest you, Caitlin Wells would be there,
Speaker 1: Becca Tanya like it's it's actually people that really want
Speaker 1: to see. So it does suck. We won't be there,
Speaker 1: but please everybody suck Army. Go to looped live dot
Speaker 1: com to get your tickets right now. That is looped
Speaker 1: Live have l O p E D l i v
Speaker 1: E dot com next Friday, July eight p m. Eastern
Speaker 1: Standard time, four to five Pacific Standard time. Suck every summer,
Speaker 1: come say hello, We're gonna be Dean's gonna be taking
Speaker 1: his shirt off. It's gonna be a grand old time.
Speaker 1: Buy your tickets now. I can't believe we have to
Speaker 1: end this on such a low note. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: into the corner anyways, and cry a little bit. It's
Speaker 1: fine anyways. Be sure to tune next week. I guess
Speaker 1: where we maybe you will suck just a little bit less.
Speaker 1: Follow help by suck at Dating on I Heart Radio
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to podcast