1
00:00:15,436 --> 00:00:20,916
Speaker 1: Pushkin. Welcome to a special set of episodes of The

2
00:00:20,956 --> 00:00:25,236
Speaker 1: Happiness Lab. The now global spread of coronavirus is affecting

3
00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:29,156
Speaker 1: all of us. This disease has brought a host of medical, economic,

4
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,556
Speaker 1: and political problems, but it's also given us a ton

5
00:00:32,596 --> 00:00:35,756
Speaker 1: of uncertainty and anxiety, which are beginning to have an

6
00:00:35,876 --> 00:00:40,076
Speaker 1: enormous negative impact on our collective while being but whenever

7
00:00:40,156 --> 00:00:43,316
Speaker 1: I'm confused or fearful, I remember that looking for answers

8
00:00:43,396 --> 00:00:46,156
Speaker 1: in evidence based science is always the best way to go,

9
00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:51,836
Speaker 1: and that's where I'm hoping this podcast can help. It's

10
00:00:51,916 --> 00:00:55,116
Speaker 1: really hard to escape bad news right now. As infection

11
00:00:55,196 --> 00:00:57,556
Speaker 1: rates continue to rise and the number of deaths from

12
00:00:57,556 --> 00:01:01,156
Speaker 1: COVID nineteen mount, it's easy to become overwhelmed by doom

13
00:01:01,196 --> 00:01:05,156
Speaker 1: and gloom and also cynicism. We've all heard of our

14
00:01:05,196 --> 00:01:09,316
Speaker 1: fellow citizens selfishly hoarding vital supplies, or stores hiking up

15
00:01:09,316 --> 00:01:13,116
Speaker 1: their prices for profit, or even college spring breakers partying

16
00:01:13,276 --> 00:01:16,996
Speaker 1: rather than staying home. All these stories can make us

17
00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:20,316
Speaker 1: feel even more alone. In our isolation, we just assume

18
00:01:20,396 --> 00:01:23,276
Speaker 1: everyone is out to protect themselves with no thought for

19
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:26,556
Speaker 1: the well being of others. But when things start to

20
00:01:26,556 --> 00:01:29,276
Speaker 1: feel overwhelming for me. I always think back to one

21
00:01:29,316 --> 00:01:32,276
Speaker 1: of my favorite quotes from mister Rogers. It's one that

22
00:01:32,276 --> 00:01:34,996
Speaker 1: comes up a lot in tragic times like this. You know,

23
00:01:35,476 --> 00:01:40,916
Speaker 1: my mother used to say, always look for the helpers,

24
00:01:40,956 --> 00:01:44,276
Speaker 1: because if you look for the helpers, you'll know that

25
00:01:44,316 --> 00:01:47,836
Speaker 1: there's hope. And so, inspired by mister Rogers, I started

26
00:01:47,836 --> 00:01:50,676
Speaker 1: looking for the helpers. I looked on social media at

27
00:01:50,676 --> 00:01:53,596
Speaker 1: the hashtag COVID kindness, and I started to see some

28
00:01:53,636 --> 00:01:57,836
Speaker 1: amazing stories. I mean, chefs giving away free food, doctor

29
00:01:57,916 --> 00:02:00,996
Speaker 1: is working all hours, and whole countries joining an applause

30
00:02:01,036 --> 00:02:04,876
Speaker 1: to thank their healthcare workers. But one story stuck with

31
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:07,916
Speaker 1: me in particular. A college student from New York named

32
00:02:07,956 --> 00:02:10,876
Speaker 1: Liam Elkin had to spend his spring break doing something

33
00:02:10,916 --> 00:02:14,356
Speaker 1: amazing for his community. He teamed up with friends to

34
00:02:14,396 --> 00:02:18,276
Speaker 1: set up a website called Invisible Hands, coordinating free grocery

35
00:02:18,316 --> 00:02:22,396
Speaker 1: deliveries for the elderly and vulnerable. Liam's message of hope

36
00:02:22,396 --> 00:02:26,756
Speaker 1: and solidarity went viral. Thousands of volunteers signed up to

37
00:02:26,756 --> 00:02:30,156
Speaker 1: help tons of isolated folks access the vital resources they needed.

38
00:02:30,756 --> 00:02:33,316
Speaker 1: But as I read more of Liam's lovely story, I

39
00:02:33,436 --> 00:02:36,516
Speaker 1: kept thinking I had seen his name somewhere before, and

40
00:02:36,596 --> 00:02:39,116
Speaker 1: that's when it hit me. I'd seen his name before

41
00:02:39,276 --> 00:02:42,556
Speaker 1: because he'd taken my happiness class. He was my student,

42
00:02:43,076 --> 00:02:46,276
Speaker 1: which made me super super proud, but also set me thinking.

43
00:02:47,196 --> 00:02:49,596
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to Liam and ask for important

44
00:02:49,596 --> 00:02:51,436
Speaker 1: tips for how we can all make a difference to

45
00:02:51,876 --> 00:02:53,996
Speaker 1: and I also wanted to see if the science I

46
00:02:53,996 --> 00:02:56,956
Speaker 1: had taught Liam in class was working out there in

47
00:02:56,956 --> 00:02:59,356
Speaker 1: the real world. I spent the first few days of

48
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:02,796
Speaker 1: break in Philadelphia doing voter registration, and a lot of

49
00:03:02,796 --> 00:03:05,116
Speaker 1: our hosts were quite elderly. They were providing us with

50
00:03:05,156 --> 00:03:07,836
Speaker 1: our meals or breakfasts every morning. These people were quickly

51
00:03:07,836 --> 00:03:11,156
Speaker 1: becoming my close friend, and so it was scary to

52
00:03:11,196 --> 00:03:14,156
Speaker 1: realize how vulnerable a lot of them might be. And

53
00:03:14,476 --> 00:03:16,516
Speaker 1: you know, then I got home and things were getting worse.

54
00:03:16,636 --> 00:03:18,196
Speaker 1: I wasn't sure if I should take the subway when

55
00:03:18,196 --> 00:03:19,996
Speaker 1: I got home. I'm from New York City and my

56
00:03:20,036 --> 00:03:23,076
Speaker 1: grandparents live in New Rochelle, which was had a ton

57
00:03:23,076 --> 00:03:25,756
Speaker 1: of cases and the National Guard came in, and my

58
00:03:25,836 --> 00:03:27,796
Speaker 1: grandparents at first were saying, oh, no, We're going to

59
00:03:27,836 --> 00:03:30,156
Speaker 1: the store every day and stuff like that. You know,

60
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:33,596
Speaker 1: my grandpa went to the zoo I think, and I said, Grandpa, like,

61
00:03:33,636 --> 00:03:36,636
Speaker 1: you know, and just go home, stay at home. We'll

62
00:03:36,636 --> 00:03:39,716
Speaker 1: FaceTime you. It'll be fine. But rather than just kind

63
00:03:39,716 --> 00:03:41,716
Speaker 1: of throw up your hands, you decided to do something

64
00:03:41,716 --> 00:03:44,596
Speaker 1: about it. A lot of people are seeing this crisis

65
00:03:44,636 --> 00:03:46,756
Speaker 1: unfold and the only thing that they can do to

66
00:03:46,836 --> 00:03:50,036
Speaker 1: help is nothing. Is what they're being told, right, be

67
00:03:50,076 --> 00:03:51,676
Speaker 1: a hero, stay at home. And I'm not saying that

68
00:03:51,716 --> 00:03:54,276
Speaker 1: staying at home isn't important, but it feels like when

69
00:03:54,316 --> 00:03:58,316
Speaker 1: you're dealing with an existential crisis, not just to you personally,

70
00:03:58,316 --> 00:04:00,556
Speaker 1: but to humanity at large, you want to be able

71
00:04:00,596 --> 00:04:02,476
Speaker 1: to do something. And so when you're told that the

72
00:04:02,516 --> 00:04:04,396
Speaker 1: best way to do something is to not do anything,

73
00:04:04,956 --> 00:04:07,476
Speaker 1: you feel very useless. That was kind of what I

74
00:04:07,516 --> 00:04:09,676
Speaker 1: was looking for, is is there a way I can

75
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:12,916
Speaker 1: actively help people and just and not just passively not

76
00:04:12,996 --> 00:04:16,916
Speaker 1: make it worse? And so I happened to come across

77
00:04:16,916 --> 00:04:19,076
Speaker 1: a Facebook post of a friend of mine and fellow

78
00:04:19,116 --> 00:04:22,796
Speaker 1: Yale alum named Simone Policano, and she was saying, you know,

79
00:04:22,876 --> 00:04:25,916
Speaker 1: is there any kind of program that connects young, healthy

80
00:04:26,116 --> 00:04:31,316
Speaker 1: volunteers with the elderly, the disabled, immuno compromise, the sick,

81
00:04:31,436 --> 00:04:34,116
Speaker 1: just to help deliver them their groceries, necessities, whatever it

82
00:04:34,156 --> 00:04:36,516
Speaker 1: is that they may need. So I thought, wow, that

83
00:04:36,636 --> 00:04:38,876
Speaker 1: sounds amazing. So I reached out to her and I said,

84
00:04:39,076 --> 00:04:41,996
Speaker 1: what if we made program like that. We built a website.

85
00:04:42,036 --> 00:04:43,956
Speaker 1: We were trying to decide if we wanted the sixteen

86
00:04:43,956 --> 00:04:46,396
Speaker 1: dollars a month squares space that would let you not

87
00:04:46,476 --> 00:04:48,476
Speaker 1: take donations or the twenty six dollars a month one

88
00:04:48,476 --> 00:04:49,956
Speaker 1: that would let you take donations, and I said, you

89
00:04:49,996 --> 00:04:52,756
Speaker 1: know what, We'll probably get ten dollars. And almost immediately

90
00:04:52,796 --> 00:04:55,796
Speaker 1: the reaction was insane. I mean, this thing took off

91
00:04:55,836 --> 00:04:58,516
Speaker 1: pretty much immediately. People started sharing it, people started posting

92
00:04:58,556 --> 00:05:01,876
Speaker 1: up our flyers around town. News outlets started picking it up.

93
00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:06,356
Speaker 1: We've been on Morning America, Fox and Friends, CNN, NBC

94
00:05:06,516 --> 00:05:09,916
Speaker 1: with Lester Holt. I mean, people, I think the reason

95
00:05:09,956 --> 00:05:12,636
Speaker 1: that there was such an incredible outpouring of support is

96
00:05:12,676 --> 00:05:15,316
Speaker 1: because people are hungry to help right now, and people

97
00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:17,276
Speaker 1: want to do good in this world that feels so

98
00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:20,436
Speaker 1: bad all the time, and so if there's a way

99
00:05:20,716 --> 00:05:23,716
Speaker 1: to help, people are more than ready to jump at

100
00:05:23,716 --> 00:05:26,756
Speaker 1: that opportunity. But as we grew we quickly realized, you know,

101
00:05:26,836 --> 00:05:28,756
Speaker 1: this is not a thing that we can do alone.

102
00:05:28,836 --> 00:05:30,756
Speaker 1: I was thinking, you know, maybe we would deliver to

103
00:05:30,796 --> 00:05:33,036
Speaker 1: a couple of neighbors, and how lovely would that be.

104
00:05:33,156 --> 00:05:35,556
Speaker 1: But pretty much immediately, I mean, we're now up over

105
00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:38,316
Speaker 1: five thousand volunteers in New York City alone. People are

106
00:05:38,356 --> 00:05:40,396
Speaker 1: reaching out from all over the country saying, hey, how

107
00:05:40,396 --> 00:05:43,276
Speaker 1: can I get this started? In California, in Florida, We've

108
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:47,196
Speaker 1: had outreached from Malaysia, Kenya, Australia. I mean, people want

109
00:05:47,316 --> 00:05:49,516
Speaker 1: to help their neighbors and to come together in this

110
00:05:49,556 --> 00:05:51,996
Speaker 1: time of crisis. And so it's been really really incredible

111
00:05:52,036 --> 00:05:54,396
Speaker 1: to say, had you ever made a website before, like

112
00:05:54,556 --> 00:05:58,076
Speaker 1: is this new team? Or I'd made one website before

113
00:05:58,116 --> 00:06:00,716
Speaker 1: it is not very good. So it's been crazy, but

114
00:06:00,756 --> 00:06:03,116
Speaker 1: in the best way possible. I mean, I don't know why,

115
00:06:03,516 --> 00:06:06,436
Speaker 1: like our organization in particular was picked up so much,

116
00:06:06,516 --> 00:06:08,916
Speaker 1: because there are a ton of amazing organizers out there

117
00:06:09,116 --> 00:06:11,476
Speaker 1: who are doing very similar work. But the fact that

118
00:06:11,516 --> 00:06:14,916
Speaker 1: we were very much makes me feel the responsibility that

119
00:06:14,956 --> 00:06:16,596
Speaker 1: I need to do this right and do it well

120
00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:19,076
Speaker 1: and do it fast because there's such a critical need

121
00:06:19,116 --> 00:06:22,356
Speaker 1: out there. So yeah, I mean, I built a website

122
00:06:22,956 --> 00:06:25,436
Speaker 1: with mine and Simone's personal phone numbers on it, and

123
00:06:25,436 --> 00:06:27,716
Speaker 1: then the phone started ring pretty much immediately, and we said, okay,

124
00:06:27,716 --> 00:06:29,676
Speaker 1: we should probably take our personal phone numbers off of it,

125
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:31,636
Speaker 1: but it was too late because Blake Lively had already

126
00:06:31,676 --> 00:06:33,756
Speaker 1: put us on our Instagram story and so then our

127
00:06:33,836 --> 00:06:35,396
Speaker 1: phone numbers were out there, and then it was an

128
00:06:35,516 --> 00:06:38,156
Speaker 1: l dot com with our personal phone numbers, and we said, okay,

129
00:06:38,236 --> 00:06:40,436
Speaker 1: let's make a Google Voice number, find some other way

130
00:06:40,436 --> 00:06:43,356
Speaker 1: that'll redirect to our phone numbers but won't overwhelm us.

131
00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:45,076
Speaker 1: And we're just starting to get into a place where

132
00:06:45,116 --> 00:06:48,436
Speaker 1: we're starting to build institutions, build alliances. The outpouring of

133
00:06:48,436 --> 00:06:51,436
Speaker 1: support from the community has been amazing and it's crazy

134
00:06:51,436 --> 00:06:53,236
Speaker 1: how many people want to help in this time. This

135
00:06:53,316 --> 00:06:55,556
Speaker 1: is all in a week, like this has happened in

136
00:06:55,556 --> 00:06:58,076
Speaker 1: a week, which is so crazy. Yeah, I have not slept.

137
00:06:58,396 --> 00:07:00,956
Speaker 1: My mom said that my eyes looked like Cookie Monster's eyes.

138
00:07:00,996 --> 00:07:03,196
Speaker 1: Like just I look wired, like I have not slept

139
00:07:03,196 --> 00:07:05,196
Speaker 1: in days. So talk to me about Invisible Hands, Like,

140
00:07:05,196 --> 00:07:07,596
Speaker 1: what was the original idea for the organization? What did

141
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,556
Speaker 1: you expect it to do? So the origin an idea

142
00:07:09,556 --> 00:07:12,876
Speaker 1: for Invisible Hands was that we would just make grocery

143
00:07:12,916 --> 00:07:16,036
Speaker 1: deliveries to people who couldn't for whatever reason, come out

144
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,196
Speaker 1: of their house due to this virus or due to

145
00:07:18,636 --> 00:07:20,436
Speaker 1: physical disability. A lot of people can't get to the

146
00:07:20,436 --> 00:07:23,116
Speaker 1: store anyway, but they may have help that's no longer

147
00:07:23,156 --> 00:07:24,836
Speaker 1: able to come because of this virus. So it's just

148
00:07:25,156 --> 00:07:27,756
Speaker 1: it's compounded a lot of difficulties in a lot of ways.

149
00:07:27,916 --> 00:07:29,796
Speaker 1: And so we figured, you know, we have some time

150
00:07:29,836 --> 00:07:32,916
Speaker 1: on our frequently washed hands, and so may as well

151
00:07:32,996 --> 00:07:35,276
Speaker 1: do something with it. And then what we realized was

152
00:07:35,436 --> 00:07:38,556
Speaker 1: a lot of these people don't just need some fruits

153
00:07:38,556 --> 00:07:41,476
Speaker 1: and vegetables, but they need some company. And in this

154
00:07:41,596 --> 00:07:46,196
Speaker 1: time of social distancing, it's really isolating, and people feel

155
00:07:46,356 --> 00:07:49,796
Speaker 1: really alone, and they feel scared, and they feel like

156
00:07:49,796 --> 00:07:51,596
Speaker 1: they don't have a partner or a friend or an

157
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:55,196
Speaker 1: ally who can stand with them. And so one thing

158
00:07:55,196 --> 00:07:57,276
Speaker 1: that we make sure to prioritize is that all our

159
00:07:57,356 --> 00:08:00,956
Speaker 1: volunteers call ahead to their recipient and talk to them,

160
00:08:00,996 --> 00:08:03,436
Speaker 1: Engage them in conversation, Hey, missus smith, how's your day going,

161
00:08:03,636 --> 00:08:05,956
Speaker 1: Learn a little bit about them, about their families. I've

162
00:08:05,956 --> 00:08:08,316
Speaker 1: made connections with people who it turns out one woman

163
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:10,716
Speaker 1: her grand daughter goes to the preschool that I went

164
00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:12,436
Speaker 1: to and is loving it, and we talked about the

165
00:08:12,436 --> 00:08:15,836
Speaker 1: teacher that I had, who she has, and making connections

166
00:08:15,876 --> 00:08:17,876
Speaker 1: like that people in my neighborhood whom I never would

167
00:08:17,916 --> 00:08:20,116
Speaker 1: have met. And so it's a little bit crazy to

168
00:08:20,156 --> 00:08:22,676
Speaker 1: be getting that kind of social connection in this age

169
00:08:22,716 --> 00:08:25,476
Speaker 1: of social distancing, and how people are able to come

170
00:08:25,516 --> 00:08:27,236
Speaker 1: together when it feels like the world is pulling us

171
00:08:27,236 --> 00:08:30,076
Speaker 1: all apart. So those are kind of the main things

172
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,476
Speaker 1: that we started out with was the delivery service and

173
00:08:32,516 --> 00:08:35,356
Speaker 1: the social aspect, but then also thanks to the incredible

174
00:08:35,356 --> 00:08:39,356
Speaker 1: outpouring of financial support, we're also offering financial subsidy to

175
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:42,436
Speaker 1: the people hit hardest economically by this disease, whether they

176
00:08:42,436 --> 00:08:44,556
Speaker 1: were laid off for if their freelancers and can't get

177
00:08:44,556 --> 00:08:46,356
Speaker 1: any jobs right now, whatever it may be. What were

178
00:08:46,356 --> 00:08:48,556
Speaker 1: your expectations about how this was going to go. I mean,

179
00:08:48,556 --> 00:08:50,636
Speaker 1: if you could head your crystal ball and it went

180
00:08:50,956 --> 00:08:53,076
Speaker 1: as best as it could, what were you expecting a

181
00:08:53,156 --> 00:08:57,076
Speaker 1: week ago? Best option would be I recruit my friends

182
00:08:57,076 --> 00:08:59,276
Speaker 1: and they're super pumped up about it, and I'm able

183
00:08:59,276 --> 00:09:01,236
Speaker 1: to go to the grocery store, make some deliveries and

184
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,876
Speaker 1: make some new friends. Hopefully and that is what has happened,

185
00:09:03,956 --> 00:09:06,756
Speaker 1: and I have made new friends. One person I made

186
00:09:06,756 --> 00:09:08,676
Speaker 1: a delivery too, sent me a picture of her granddaughter

187
00:09:08,796 --> 00:09:10,836
Speaker 1: tried to set me up with her granddaughter. And another

188
00:09:10,836 --> 00:09:13,276
Speaker 1: one I brought her her delivery and she invited me

189
00:09:13,316 --> 00:09:15,036
Speaker 1: in for tea and cookies. And I said, Carol, that

190
00:09:15,116 --> 00:09:16,996
Speaker 1: is the exact opposite of the point you were supposed

191
00:09:16,996 --> 00:09:19,916
Speaker 1: to be physically distancing from one another. And she said, okay, okay, fine,

192
00:09:19,956 --> 00:09:22,076
Speaker 1: but after this thing is over, you're going to come

193
00:09:22,076 --> 00:09:23,476
Speaker 1: over for some cookies and traits. And so we've been

194
00:09:23,516 --> 00:09:26,596
Speaker 1: in communication over email, and so I'm really looking forward

195
00:09:26,636 --> 00:09:28,276
Speaker 1: to that day when this whole thing is over and

196
00:09:28,316 --> 00:09:30,596
Speaker 1: I can come over for some cookies. But you know,

197
00:09:31,236 --> 00:09:35,356
Speaker 1: I was surprised by how many people found us, but

198
00:09:35,436 --> 00:09:37,756
Speaker 1: I wasn't surprised by how much people wanted to help.

199
00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:40,476
Speaker 1: And as you may know from Psychology and the Good Life,

200
00:09:40,476 --> 00:09:42,476
Speaker 1: which I was so pleased when I realized that you

201
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:45,236
Speaker 1: took it in amongst my thousands of students, the act

202
00:09:45,276 --> 00:09:48,156
Speaker 1: of helping people is something that can boost our well

203
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:50,716
Speaker 1: being in this time of horrible crisis. So I was

204
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:52,276
Speaker 1: going to ask, do you remember kind of some of

205
00:09:52,276 --> 00:09:54,196
Speaker 1: the stuff from the class. When I had this vision

206
00:09:54,236 --> 00:09:55,876
Speaker 1: that when you were setting up in Visible Hands, you

207
00:09:55,956 --> 00:09:58,676
Speaker 1: thought back to the notes. Of course I had you

208
00:09:58,716 --> 00:10:00,076
Speaker 1: in my mind, but you were the one who gave

209
00:10:00,116 --> 00:10:01,836
Speaker 1: me the idea. I was thinking, how can I be happier?

210
00:10:01,876 --> 00:10:04,476
Speaker 1: And I thought community service? And you remember me from

211
00:10:04,476 --> 00:10:06,316
Speaker 1: your thousands of students, right you saw Liam Elkin. You

212
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,116
Speaker 1: thought that kid. I remember him well, of course I do. Yeah.

213
00:10:09,236 --> 00:10:11,676
Speaker 1: In many ways, I think that the overwhelming response to

214
00:10:11,756 --> 00:10:16,676
Speaker 1: your class reminds me of the interest in Invisible Hands,

215
00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:20,316
Speaker 1: because people want this world to be a better, safer,

216
00:10:20,396 --> 00:10:22,756
Speaker 1: happier place, and they want to know how they can

217
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:25,116
Speaker 1: get it there. And so I think your class offered

218
00:10:25,156 --> 00:10:28,436
Speaker 1: that strategic way that you know, scientifically proven way of

219
00:10:28,596 --> 00:10:31,076
Speaker 1: making yourself happier and making the world a happier place,

220
00:10:31,276 --> 00:10:34,956
Speaker 1: which is similar to what we're offering, not with psychological tools,

221
00:10:34,996 --> 00:10:37,876
Speaker 1: but with social tools, which are psychologically proven to be

222
00:10:37,916 --> 00:10:41,116
Speaker 1: helpful and scientifically proven to be exactly the thing we

223
00:10:41,156 --> 00:10:43,836
Speaker 1: need right now to increase people's sense of agency, to

224
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:46,556
Speaker 1: increase people's sense of well being. Again, not just for

225
00:10:46,596 --> 00:10:49,756
Speaker 1: the people you're helping, not for the elderly neighbor that

226
00:10:49,796 --> 00:10:53,236
Speaker 1: gets her prescription, but also for the twenty something who

227
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,356
Speaker 1: feels lost and now has something he can do rather

228
00:10:55,356 --> 00:10:57,836
Speaker 1: than just stay home. Yeah. Well, and I will say,

229
00:10:57,876 --> 00:11:00,276
Speaker 1: you know, I remember you telling us that helping people

230
00:11:00,356 --> 00:11:03,556
Speaker 1: you know, makes us happy. And all the deliveries that

231
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,596
Speaker 1: I've made have brought along new friendships with them, you know.

232
00:11:06,676 --> 00:11:09,476
Speaker 1: As I said, Carol and I communicate a lot all

233
00:11:09,516 --> 00:11:11,836
Speaker 1: and I have been emailing back and forth as well.

234
00:11:12,076 --> 00:11:13,916
Speaker 1: It was one woman's I think it was her seventy

235
00:11:13,916 --> 00:11:17,076
Speaker 1: seventh birthday, and she was really sad that she wasn't

236
00:11:17,156 --> 00:11:18,716
Speaker 1: able to hang out with her friends on that day,

237
00:11:19,316 --> 00:11:21,356
Speaker 1: so we brought along a birthday card with her delivery.

238
00:11:21,636 --> 00:11:24,716
Speaker 1: One person made a collage for her deliverer. I like

239
00:11:24,796 --> 00:11:26,876
Speaker 1: the term mutual aid because I think it gets at

240
00:11:26,916 --> 00:11:28,996
Speaker 1: the fact that it is not just a service on

241
00:11:29,076 --> 00:11:31,396
Speaker 1: our part two other people, but this is a way

242
00:11:31,396 --> 00:11:33,996
Speaker 1: that communities come together and help one another out. And

243
00:11:34,036 --> 00:11:36,876
Speaker 1: I think that a lot of people are really struggling

244
00:11:36,876 --> 00:11:39,316
Speaker 1: with that right now. I've gotten so many calls from

245
00:11:39,636 --> 00:11:43,276
Speaker 1: people who are living with immunosuppression HIV AIDS, or who

246
00:11:43,316 --> 00:11:45,836
Speaker 1: are paralyzed, or even just people who are lonely and

247
00:11:45,916 --> 00:11:48,516
Speaker 1: need a friend. And I think that every time I'm

248
00:11:48,516 --> 00:11:50,796
Speaker 1: able to have a conversation with people like that and

249
00:11:51,156 --> 00:11:53,876
Speaker 1: help them out in some small way by bringing them groceries,

250
00:11:53,876 --> 00:11:55,996
Speaker 1: which is not a huge thing in and of itself,

251
00:11:56,036 --> 00:11:59,876
Speaker 1: but means a lot when you're feeling alone, I think

252
00:11:59,876 --> 00:12:03,636
Speaker 1: that that has untold impacts on people's emotional well being.

253
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:07,196
Speaker 1: Now that you've heard Liam's inspiring story, I wanted to

254
00:12:07,236 --> 00:12:10,796
Speaker 1: explore why his project has been so powerful. After the break,

255
00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:13,396
Speaker 1: you'll learn how you can get that same benefit Liam

256
00:12:13,436 --> 00:12:16,596
Speaker 1: as from a little COVID kindness. The Happiness Lab will

257
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:27,796
Speaker 1: be right back. Why is Liam's approach so important in

258
00:12:27,836 --> 00:12:31,516
Speaker 1: these tough times? The answer is twofold the invisible hands.

259
00:12:31,556 --> 00:12:34,956
Speaker 1: Volunteers are bringing support intoeer to their communities, but they're

260
00:12:34,996 --> 00:12:38,236
Speaker 1: also improving their own personal well being. And to help

261
00:12:38,236 --> 00:12:41,076
Speaker 1: me explain the science underpinning this effect, I turned to

262
00:12:41,156 --> 00:12:44,236
Speaker 1: one of my favorite social psychologists and longtime friend of

263
00:12:44,236 --> 00:12:47,436
Speaker 1: The Happiness Lab. Hi. I'm David Desteno, Professor of psychology

264
00:12:47,436 --> 00:12:51,196
Speaker 1: at Northeastern University and author of Emotional Success, The Power

265
00:12:51,316 --> 00:12:54,596
Speaker 1: of Gratitude, Compassion, and Pride. You may remember Dave from

266
00:12:54,596 --> 00:12:56,916
Speaker 1: an episode we did on the Power of feeling gratitude.

267
00:12:57,316 --> 00:13:00,116
Speaker 1: But Dave's also an expert on other social emotions and

268
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,596
Speaker 1: how we can use them in this challenging time to

269
00:13:02,676 --> 00:13:04,956
Speaker 1: feel a little better, and that's why I wanted Dave

270
00:13:04,996 --> 00:13:07,556
Speaker 1: to help me dig into Liam's story a bit. Dave

271
00:13:07,676 --> 00:13:09,956
Speaker 1: argues that Liam was able to reap the benefits he

272
00:13:10,036 --> 00:13:13,516
Speaker 1: did because he tapped into a powerful social emotion, one

273
00:13:13,556 --> 00:13:17,076
Speaker 1: we should all be using more right now, compassion at heart.

274
00:13:17,116 --> 00:13:19,476
Speaker 1: Most of us are compassionate. Most of us really want

275
00:13:19,516 --> 00:13:21,996
Speaker 1: to help other people, but what usually gets in the

276
00:13:21,996 --> 00:13:24,596
Speaker 1: way is not knowing how, not knowing where to start,

277
00:13:24,956 --> 00:13:27,956
Speaker 1: or even feeling like any small act we might do

278
00:13:28,316 --> 00:13:31,236
Speaker 1: might not make a difference. And in COVID nineteen it's

279
00:13:31,236 --> 00:13:34,396
Speaker 1: even harder because the ways that we might normally try

280
00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:37,356
Speaker 1: to reflexively reach out aren't available to us as we're

281
00:13:37,356 --> 00:13:41,796
Speaker 1: socially isolating. And that's why innovators like Liam become really important.

282
00:13:42,276 --> 00:13:45,516
Speaker 1: He's found a way to open a channel for us

283
00:13:45,556 --> 00:13:48,796
Speaker 1: to help other people, to allow us to feel effective

284
00:13:48,796 --> 00:13:51,596
Speaker 1: in what we're doing, and now people are rushing to

285
00:13:51,716 --> 00:13:54,956
Speaker 1: it from all over the country, and that's incredibly inspiring.

286
00:13:55,276 --> 00:13:57,036
Speaker 1: So I want to dig into compassion a little bit

287
00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:58,996
Speaker 1: because when we think about compassion, I know this is

288
00:13:58,996 --> 00:14:01,116
Speaker 1: an emotion that psychologists talk about all the time, but

289
00:14:01,156 --> 00:14:03,036
Speaker 1: it's not an emotion that people tend to think of.

290
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,276
Speaker 1: In the set of emotions like anger for your happiness,

291
00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:08,956
Speaker 1: compassion doesn't come up. So what is compassion? Compassion? Yeah,

292
00:14:08,956 --> 00:14:10,756
Speaker 1: I think that's true. Most of the emotions we think

293
00:14:10,796 --> 00:14:12,956
Speaker 1: about tend to be kind of the ones that psychologists

294
00:14:12,956 --> 00:14:15,516
Speaker 1: often call more basic states, like anger fear. But for

295
00:14:15,636 --> 00:14:18,276
Speaker 1: humans we have to master not only the physical landscape

296
00:14:18,276 --> 00:14:20,556
Speaker 1: but the social landscape, and so we have this suite

297
00:14:20,596 --> 00:14:24,356
Speaker 1: of emotions that have to do with interpersonal interaction again,

298
00:14:24,436 --> 00:14:28,316
Speaker 1: things like gratitude, things like guilt, things like compassion. What

299
00:14:28,396 --> 00:14:32,516
Speaker 1: compassion is is it's the emotion we feel when we

300
00:14:32,636 --> 00:14:35,036
Speaker 1: want to give care to someone else. It's often mixed

301
00:14:35,116 --> 00:14:37,596
Speaker 1: up with empathy. So empathy these days, at least in

302
00:14:37,636 --> 00:14:41,276
Speaker 1: the neuroscientific sense, means I can feel what you're feeling.

303
00:14:41,316 --> 00:14:43,516
Speaker 1: If you're feeling happy, I feel your happiness. If you're

304
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:46,996
Speaker 1: feeling sad, I feel your sadness. Compassion actually is the

305
00:14:47,036 --> 00:14:50,716
Speaker 1: emotion that is a caregiving emotion. I understand that you

306
00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:53,396
Speaker 1: are in distress or pain, and I want to do

307
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:56,636
Speaker 1: something to relieve that, and so it's important to move

308
00:14:56,676 --> 00:14:59,556
Speaker 1: past empathy to compassion. So the Buddhist monks will often

309
00:14:59,556 --> 00:15:02,236
Speaker 1: talk about this. If you're always feeling empathy, you can

310
00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:04,596
Speaker 1: get overwhelmed and feel burned out. If you're trying to

311
00:15:04,676 --> 00:15:07,316
Speaker 1: feel everyone's distress, Well you have to do is say,

312
00:15:07,316 --> 00:15:09,396
Speaker 1: I recognize you're in distress. Let me get into the

313
00:15:09,436 --> 00:15:12,596
Speaker 1: state of compassion where it motivates me to want to

314
00:15:12,636 --> 00:15:14,716
Speaker 1: help you, to sacrifice for you in a way that

315
00:15:14,756 --> 00:15:17,596
Speaker 1: doesn't require me to continually feel your pain and therefore

316
00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:20,356
Speaker 1: get burned out by it. This particular point about the

317
00:15:20,396 --> 00:15:24,436
Speaker 1: power of compassion is really important, particularly right now, and

318
00:15:24,476 --> 00:15:26,236
Speaker 1: so I want to take a second to unpack it

319
00:15:26,796 --> 00:15:29,236
Speaker 1: because many of us are in positions where we have

320
00:15:29,316 --> 00:15:32,756
Speaker 1: to worry about other people during COVID nineteen. Maybe you

321
00:15:32,796 --> 00:15:36,556
Speaker 1: have elderly or immunocompromised relatives, or maybe you work in

322
00:15:36,596 --> 00:15:39,156
Speaker 1: the medical profession and you have to help sick people

323
00:15:39,236 --> 00:15:42,836
Speaker 1: in really risky situations. Or maybe you're just an empathic

324
00:15:42,876 --> 00:15:45,556
Speaker 1: person like Liam who can't help but share the fear

325
00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:49,316
Speaker 1: and worry that everyone's experiencing right now, with so many

326
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:52,996
Speaker 1: people in need and suffering, it's easy to feel really overwhelmed,

327
00:15:53,356 --> 00:15:56,236
Speaker 1: and that's where the science shows that compassion can really help.

328
00:15:56,716 --> 00:15:59,156
Speaker 1: It protects us from feeling burned out in a time

329
00:15:59,196 --> 00:16:02,236
Speaker 1: of heightened stress. Now, you may, at first glance assume

330
00:16:02,276 --> 00:16:05,036
Speaker 1: that feeling compassion for other people might make you more

331
00:16:05,076 --> 00:16:07,956
Speaker 1: prone to feeling overwhelmed right now, but our most recent

332
00:16:07,996 --> 00:16:11,956
Speaker 1: work shows that it actually allows them to overcome what's

333
00:16:11,996 --> 00:16:15,196
Speaker 1: known as compassion fatigue or compassion burnout, which I think

334
00:16:15,236 --> 00:16:17,076
Speaker 1: a lot of people are feeling right now because they're

335
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:20,356
Speaker 1: feeling overwhelmed. Take one study by Tanya Singer in her colleagues.

336
00:16:20,716 --> 00:16:23,876
Speaker 1: They showed people scary news reports. As you might expect,

337
00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:27,876
Speaker 1: people naturally felt pretty bad after seeing this footage. But

338
00:16:28,036 --> 00:16:31,036
Speaker 1: Singer and colleagues gave one group of subjects a compassion

339
00:16:31,036 --> 00:16:34,196
Speaker 1: booster shot, one that we've talked about in previous episodes.

340
00:16:34,836 --> 00:16:37,756
Speaker 1: She had our subjects attend a one day mindfulness course

341
00:16:38,036 --> 00:16:41,716
Speaker 1: on loving kindness meditation, a form of meditation that's known

342
00:16:41,756 --> 00:16:44,716
Speaker 1: to bump up people's compassion over time. If you want,

343
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:46,716
Speaker 1: you can try one of these practices out at the

344
00:16:46,796 --> 00:16:49,996
Speaker 1: end of the episode. So what happened after people watched

345
00:16:50,036 --> 00:16:53,596
Speaker 1: these distressing videos After boosting their compassion a bit, the

346
00:16:53,676 --> 00:16:57,636
Speaker 1: subject's negative emotions dropped. In fact, the people who meditated

347
00:16:57,756 --> 00:17:02,196
Speaker 1: showed positive affiliative emotions when watching the screenings. The act

348
00:17:02,236 --> 00:17:05,556
Speaker 1: of experiencing compassion allowed them to see people in pain

349
00:17:05,916 --> 00:17:09,556
Speaker 1: and want to help them without feeling overwhelmed, which is

350
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,516
Speaker 1: kind of what all of us need right now. So

351
00:17:12,636 --> 00:17:14,956
Speaker 1: compassion can give us the power to get through hard

352
00:17:14,956 --> 00:17:18,796
Speaker 1: times without feeling burned out. But Dave has also shown

353
00:17:18,836 --> 00:17:20,916
Speaker 1: that compassion makes it easier to do a lot of

354
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:23,076
Speaker 1: the hard things we need to do right now, like

355
00:17:23,356 --> 00:17:26,716
Speaker 1: self sacrificing and staying home, in order to flatten the curve.

356
00:17:27,116 --> 00:17:29,996
Speaker 1: To the extent that you can cultivate compassion even among

357
00:17:29,996 --> 00:17:32,836
Speaker 1: your family, it will color your views. It will change

358
00:17:32,836 --> 00:17:35,956
Speaker 1: your mind's response to any instance that comes up, making

359
00:17:35,956 --> 00:17:38,996
Speaker 1: you more willing to sacrifice. By social isolating and not

360
00:17:39,076 --> 00:17:42,956
Speaker 1: going out to dinner or shopping, by maybe trying to

361
00:17:42,996 --> 00:17:45,956
Speaker 1: take time to call your elderly neighbor who does not

362
00:17:46,116 --> 00:17:50,676
Speaker 1: know how to order food online, or taking her order

363
00:17:50,676 --> 00:17:52,876
Speaker 1: and doing it for her right, it will make you

364
00:17:52,916 --> 00:17:55,796
Speaker 1: more willing to do those sacrifices. I love this tip

365
00:17:55,796 --> 00:17:58,596
Speaker 1: because I think anything we can do to reduce the

366
00:17:58,676 --> 00:18:00,996
Speaker 1: challenge associated with what we need to do to not

367
00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:03,116
Speaker 1: be just frustrated the whole time we're sitting in our

368
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:06,076
Speaker 1: houses can make us feel better. And it seems counterintuitive,

369
00:18:06,076 --> 00:18:08,476
Speaker 1: but the simple act of experiencing more compassion can just

370
00:18:08,516 --> 00:18:10,756
Speaker 1: make it easier to hang out and just accept that

371
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,076
Speaker 1: we're sticking around in a house and it's okay, that's right.

372
00:18:13,156 --> 00:18:15,596
Speaker 1: And you know, when you think of it that way,

373
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:18,516
Speaker 1: that compassion, you understand the sacrifice and you know that

374
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:20,756
Speaker 1: the compassion that you're doing, which should normally make you

375
00:18:20,796 --> 00:18:24,076
Speaker 1: want to reach out and go help someone, if you

376
00:18:24,156 --> 00:18:26,796
Speaker 1: reframe it this way, no, staying home is actually helping.

377
00:18:26,796 --> 00:18:29,356
Speaker 1: Then compassion can be channeled in that way, and trust me,

378
00:18:29,396 --> 00:18:32,676
Speaker 1: it will make it easier for you. It focuses your

379
00:18:33,596 --> 00:18:36,236
Speaker 1: value on long term outcome as opposed to what would

380
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,316
Speaker 1: make you feel good right now. And the reason we

381
00:18:38,396 --> 00:18:42,276
Speaker 1: do hard things. What makes us do hard things. Sometimes

382
00:18:42,276 --> 00:18:45,276
Speaker 1: it's because what we think we should do, but more

383
00:18:45,316 --> 00:18:47,356
Speaker 1: often it's because what we feel we should do it.

384
00:18:47,396 --> 00:18:49,156
Speaker 1: If you feel you should do it, then you're not

385
00:18:49,356 --> 00:18:52,476
Speaker 1: using your reason to combat your impulse inside, which is yeah,

386
00:18:52,476 --> 00:18:54,076
Speaker 1: but I really want to go out or I really

387
00:18:54,116 --> 00:18:57,556
Speaker 1: want to do this if you cultivate an emotion of compassion,

388
00:18:57,956 --> 00:19:00,636
Speaker 1: then you're not fighting your impulse to want something else.

389
00:19:00,956 --> 00:19:04,556
Speaker 1: It's actually making you want to sacrifice for others. Compassion

390
00:19:04,556 --> 00:19:06,956
Speaker 1: can give us the strength we need to focus on

391
00:19:06,996 --> 00:19:09,756
Speaker 1: others in a really tough time, and that can pay

392
00:19:09,876 --> 00:19:12,356
Speaker 1: huge dividends, and not just for the people who are

393
00:19:12,356 --> 00:19:15,756
Speaker 1: helping through our actions. As Liam remembered from my class

394
00:19:15,916 --> 00:19:19,196
Speaker 1: and saw firsthand, doing nice things for others can make

395
00:19:19,276 --> 00:19:22,676
Speaker 1: us feel really good. Liam describes this as win win.

396
00:19:24,116 --> 00:19:26,676
Speaker 1: It's a win for the person who's receiving help that

397
00:19:26,716 --> 00:19:29,236
Speaker 1: they need right now, and it's a win for the

398
00:19:29,316 --> 00:19:33,636
Speaker 1: person who's giving that help. Giving to other people is

399
00:19:33,676 --> 00:19:38,796
Speaker 1: incredibly rewarding. It makes us happy at heart. But really,

400
00:19:38,836 --> 00:19:42,596
Speaker 1: I'd say this is a win win win situation, and

401
00:19:42,716 --> 00:19:46,356
Speaker 1: that third win stands for the upward spiral of gratitude

402
00:19:46,356 --> 00:19:49,276
Speaker 1: and compassion that's going to come from this. Right people

403
00:19:49,316 --> 00:19:52,436
Speaker 1: who are helped feel grateful for that help, and we

404
00:19:52,556 --> 00:19:55,636
Speaker 1: know that sense of gratitude makes them then want to

405
00:19:55,676 --> 00:19:59,316
Speaker 1: pay it forward to someone else, spreading that network. And

406
00:19:59,396 --> 00:20:03,196
Speaker 1: also the people who are giving and they're experiencing compassion

407
00:20:03,196 --> 00:20:05,756
Speaker 1: that makes them want to join Liam's organization. And give

408
00:20:06,396 --> 00:20:09,716
Speaker 1: that compassion will continue to be of evoked in them

409
00:20:09,996 --> 00:20:13,396
Speaker 1: and make them want to help even wider circles of people,

410
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:17,036
Speaker 1: strangers that they might not even know now. And so

411
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,556
Speaker 1: I think that third wind is in some ways the

412
00:20:19,596 --> 00:20:24,076
Speaker 1: most inspiring because what it suggests is that this network

413
00:20:24,196 --> 00:20:26,476
Speaker 1: is going to continue to grow, and allowing a trusted

414
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,556
Speaker 1: network to grow during scary times like this can mean

415
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:32,876
Speaker 1: the difference between surviving this crisis and not. One of

416
00:20:32,876 --> 00:20:36,316
Speaker 1: my favorite examples is when Superstorm Sandy hit New York

417
00:20:36,316 --> 00:20:39,276
Speaker 1: City in twenty twelve. It decimated a lot of neighborhoods.

418
00:20:39,556 --> 00:20:42,236
Speaker 1: What the AP did and the North Research Institute was

419
00:20:42,236 --> 00:20:44,116
Speaker 1: they came in two years later and they did a study,

420
00:20:44,396 --> 00:20:46,276
Speaker 1: and what they found is that once you controlled for

421
00:20:46,316 --> 00:20:49,156
Speaker 1: a lot of the degrees of physical damage that occurred,

422
00:20:49,196 --> 00:20:52,516
Speaker 1: the best predictor for which neighbors whether most resilient, meaning

423
00:20:52,516 --> 00:20:55,796
Speaker 1: the ability to bounce back, were those that where people

424
00:20:55,836 --> 00:20:58,316
Speaker 1: felt that they could trust and count on their neighbors,

425
00:20:58,356 --> 00:21:01,356
Speaker 1: which is why programs like LIAMS are so important. They

426
00:21:01,356 --> 00:21:04,876
Speaker 1: allow neighborhoods to build up trust and connection with one another.

427
00:21:05,436 --> 00:21:08,436
Speaker 1: It's also important that LIAMS noticed the importance of connection

428
00:21:08,596 --> 00:21:12,556
Speaker 1: right he's having his volunteers make calls to people and

429
00:21:12,596 --> 00:21:15,436
Speaker 1: they're talking to each other, making that social connection. As

430
00:21:15,436 --> 00:21:18,196
Speaker 1: he said, one woman was trying to set him up

431
00:21:18,236 --> 00:21:20,716
Speaker 1: on a date. And what you're seeing there is the

432
00:21:21,396 --> 00:21:26,116
Speaker 1: growing of trust within a community, the growing of connection,

433
00:21:26,596 --> 00:21:29,796
Speaker 1: and that's going to pay dividends moving forward, because, as

434
00:21:29,876 --> 00:21:34,196
Speaker 1: I said earlier, what underlies the community's resilience is the

435
00:21:34,236 --> 00:21:36,916
Speaker 1: extent to which people trust each other. And that's the

436
00:21:36,956 --> 00:21:39,716
Speaker 1: same whether it's virtual communities where we can help across

437
00:21:39,756 --> 00:21:43,716
Speaker 1: wide networks without being physically near each other or within

438
00:21:43,756 --> 00:21:46,916
Speaker 1: the same town. And hopefully that sense of connection won't

439
00:21:46,996 --> 00:21:50,836
Speaker 1: only help people's anxiety and well being now, but will

440
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:54,796
Speaker 1: continue to foster connection and giving as we move forward

441
00:21:54,836 --> 00:21:57,756
Speaker 1: and even beyond the COVID nineteen crisis. So does your

442
00:21:57,756 --> 00:21:59,636
Speaker 1: research make us hopeful that if we can harness our

443
00:21:59,636 --> 00:22:01,676
Speaker 1: emotions in the right way, we really can get through

444
00:22:01,676 --> 00:22:05,556
Speaker 1: this crisis in a deeply cooperative way. It makes me

445
00:22:05,676 --> 00:22:07,476
Speaker 1: very hopeful for that. And I don't say that in

446
00:22:07,476 --> 00:22:11,076
Speaker 1: a Pollyanna sense. I say because I think that is

447
00:22:11,076 --> 00:22:14,036
Speaker 1: what's worked many times in the past. One of my

448
00:22:14,036 --> 00:22:17,236
Speaker 1: favorite sayings right now that I see and I know

449
00:22:17,276 --> 00:22:19,316
Speaker 1: all religions say this, but I think the Dalai Lama

450
00:22:19,396 --> 00:22:23,036
Speaker 1: says it most eloquently, which is, compassion is not a luxury.

451
00:22:23,356 --> 00:22:27,276
Speaker 1: It's a necessity for human survival. Right now, we need

452
00:22:27,316 --> 00:22:31,636
Speaker 1: more compassion, and not in the fancy you kum bay

453
00:22:31,716 --> 00:22:33,556
Speaker 1: Us sends let's just all sit down in a hippie

454
00:22:33,596 --> 00:22:36,396
Speaker 1: dippy way. I mean it in a truly deep, scientific,

455
00:22:36,396 --> 00:22:40,356
Speaker 1: evolutionary way. These emotions will push us towards the cooperative

456
00:22:40,356 --> 00:22:43,836
Speaker 1: behaviors that we need right now to come through this together.

457
00:22:44,596 --> 00:22:47,236
Speaker 1: Compassion is what we need now more than ever. It

458
00:22:47,316 --> 00:22:49,996
Speaker 1: can give us strength to sacrifice for others and can

459
00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:52,276
Speaker 1: help us do so in a way that doesn't exhaust

460
00:22:52,276 --> 00:22:55,556
Speaker 1: our own well of goodwill. And as Liam's story so

461
00:22:55,636 --> 00:22:58,796
Speaker 1: nicely shows, having a bit more emotional bandwidth to help

462
00:22:58,836 --> 00:23:01,836
Speaker 1: others can lead to some creative new win win wins,

463
00:23:02,196 --> 00:23:03,836
Speaker 1: ones where we can help the people who need it

464
00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:07,996
Speaker 1: most while improving our own mental health and building communities

465
00:23:07,996 --> 00:23:12,236
Speaker 1: of trust around us. Mister Rogers was right it does

466
00:23:12,276 --> 00:23:14,756
Speaker 1: pay to look for the heroes, But what he didn't

467
00:23:14,796 --> 00:23:17,196
Speaker 1: say is that it pays even more to become a

468
00:23:17,196 --> 00:23:21,156
Speaker 1: hero yourself, and so to help you supercharge your own compassion.

469
00:23:21,476 --> 00:23:23,756
Speaker 1: I thought it'd be fun to share another quick meditation.

470
00:23:25,636 --> 00:23:28,876
Speaker 1: This one is called loving Kindness or Meta. It'll take

471
00:23:28,916 --> 00:23:31,476
Speaker 1: a couple of minutes, but the science shows that performing

472
00:23:31,556 --> 00:23:34,396
Speaker 1: just this kind of practice over time can bump up

473
00:23:34,396 --> 00:23:37,356
Speaker 1: your levels of compassion. So why don't you pause this

474
00:23:37,396 --> 00:23:40,276
Speaker 1: episode right now, grab a seat, and let's get started.

475
00:23:42,036 --> 00:23:44,836
Speaker 1: Now that you're sitting somewhere comfortably, it's time to close

476
00:23:44,876 --> 00:23:47,476
Speaker 1: your eyes and begin to pay attent into your breath.

477
00:23:48,996 --> 00:23:51,556
Speaker 1: Just try to get a sense of how you're feeling

478
00:23:51,836 --> 00:23:56,076
Speaker 1: right now, and then follow your breath as it comes

479
00:23:56,076 --> 00:24:00,236
Speaker 1: in through your nose and then out through your mouth.

480
00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:06,196
Speaker 1: One more time, following your breath as it comes in

481
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:10,636
Speaker 1: through your nose, a deep breath in and then out.

482
00:24:14,116 --> 00:24:16,476
Speaker 1: And now I want you to bring to mind someone

483
00:24:16,516 --> 00:24:19,956
Speaker 1: who's really easy to care about. This could be a

484
00:24:20,036 --> 00:24:23,596
Speaker 1: partner or a child, someone you really love. People even

485
00:24:23,636 --> 00:24:26,436
Speaker 1: can pick a favorite pet. And so I want you

486
00:24:26,476 --> 00:24:29,676
Speaker 1: to bring to mind this person or this critter. And

487
00:24:29,796 --> 00:24:31,716
Speaker 1: I want you to feel in your heart what it

488
00:24:31,756 --> 00:24:36,916
Speaker 1: feels like when you think about them. And I want

489
00:24:36,956 --> 00:24:42,076
Speaker 1: you to send this individual some good wishes. I want

490
00:24:42,076 --> 00:24:45,196
Speaker 1: you to think about this person and think, may you

491
00:24:45,356 --> 00:24:53,156
Speaker 1: be happy, May you be healthy, may you care for

492
00:24:53,276 --> 00:25:03,596
Speaker 1: yourself joyfully, and may you be safe. And just think

493
00:25:03,636 --> 00:25:07,596
Speaker 1: about that individual and repeat those phrases again, and just

494
00:25:07,636 --> 00:25:11,196
Speaker 1: watch what's happening in what's called your heart space, the

495
00:25:11,356 --> 00:25:15,596
Speaker 1: area just around your chest. Some people describe thinking of

496
00:25:15,636 --> 00:25:18,596
Speaker 1: these things and watching that area kind of fill up

497
00:25:18,636 --> 00:25:21,676
Speaker 1: a little bit. And if you don't notice anything, that's

498
00:25:21,676 --> 00:25:30,396
Speaker 1: okay too. Sometimes this practice takes a while. Now I

499
00:25:30,396 --> 00:25:33,196
Speaker 1: want you to bring to mind another person, someone else

500
00:25:33,196 --> 00:25:38,996
Speaker 1: you're close with, and we'll walk through those same statements. Remember,

501
00:25:39,116 --> 00:25:43,236
Speaker 1: see what this feels like in your heart space. May

502
00:25:43,276 --> 00:25:51,236
Speaker 1: you be happy, may you be healthy, May you care

503
00:25:51,276 --> 00:26:02,836
Speaker 1: for yourself joyfully, and may you be safe. Now we'll

504
00:26:02,836 --> 00:26:06,036
Speaker 1: take a second to apply compassion to someone. That's often

505
00:26:06,076 --> 00:26:11,556
Speaker 1: hard to feel compassionate towards ourselves. So now take a

506
00:26:11,596 --> 00:26:15,636
Speaker 1: second to think about yourself, and let's apply those same statements.

507
00:26:18,396 --> 00:26:26,196
Speaker 1: May I be happy, may I be healthy, May I

508
00:26:26,276 --> 00:26:36,836
Speaker 1: care for myself joyfully, and may I be safe. For

509
00:26:36,916 --> 00:26:40,076
Speaker 1: some folks, it's easier to apply compassion to themselves, but

510
00:26:40,236 --> 00:26:43,076
Speaker 1: some folks find it hard. So just notice what it

511
00:26:43,116 --> 00:26:48,916
Speaker 1: feels like for you, and then we'll try to broaden

512
00:26:48,916 --> 00:26:52,516
Speaker 1: our compassion to an even bigger group. I want you

513
00:26:52,556 --> 00:26:55,716
Speaker 1: to think of your entire community, especially all the folks

514
00:26:55,756 --> 00:26:58,796
Speaker 1: that might be affected by this crisis, and I want

515
00:26:58,836 --> 00:27:03,476
Speaker 1: you to send your compassion to all of them, thinking

516
00:27:03,516 --> 00:27:11,076
Speaker 1: about all the folks together. May you be happy, May

517
00:27:11,116 --> 00:27:18,796
Speaker 1: you be healthy, May you care for yourselves joyfully, and

518
00:27:18,956 --> 00:27:27,276
Speaker 1: may you be safe. Then just repeat those statements over

519
00:27:27,316 --> 00:27:30,076
Speaker 1: and over again in your head and again sort of

520
00:27:30,076 --> 00:27:33,796
Speaker 1: monitor what's happening in your heart's face. See if you

521
00:27:33,836 --> 00:27:36,556
Speaker 1: can feel what it feels like to feel compassion for

522
00:27:36,596 --> 00:27:59,036
Speaker 1: the people around you. And then just to close, let's

523
00:27:59,076 --> 00:28:01,716
Speaker 1: take one more really deep breath in through the nose

524
00:28:05,116 --> 00:28:13,036
Speaker 1: and then let's side it out through the mouth and

525
00:28:13,236 --> 00:28:15,956
Speaker 1: you can open your eyes. And that was your quick

526
00:28:15,956 --> 00:28:20,196
Speaker 1: introduction to loving kindness meditation. The research suggests that the

527
00:28:20,196 --> 00:28:23,836
Speaker 1: act of doing a practice like that regularly can bump

528
00:28:23,916 --> 00:28:27,076
Speaker 1: up your compassion and can help you with burnout. I

529
00:28:27,116 --> 00:28:29,356
Speaker 1: hope it's been useful to you during this tough time,

530
00:28:29,876 --> 00:28:32,036
Speaker 1: and I hope you'll join me again for the next

531
00:28:32,076 --> 00:28:38,276
Speaker 1: episode of The Happiness Lab with doctor Laurie Santos. The

532
00:28:38,316 --> 00:28:41,196
Speaker 1: Happiness Lab is a Pushkin podcast. It's co written and

533
00:28:41,236 --> 00:28:44,716
Speaker 1: produced by Ryan Dilley and mastered by Evan Viola. Our

534
00:28:44,716 --> 00:28:48,596
Speaker 1: original music is written by Zachary Silver. Special thanks to

535
00:28:48,636 --> 00:28:53,356
Speaker 1: Ben Davis, Heather Fame, Carly Mgliori, Julia Barton, Neil La Belle,

536
00:28:53,596 --> 00:28:57,596
Speaker 1: Jacob Weisberg, and the rest of the Pushkin Crew