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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letter is brought to you by the all

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Speaker 1: new twenty twenty one Nissan Rogue. It is built for

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Speaker 1: families and is ready for all types of rogue adventures.

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Speaker 1: With five different drive modes, It's so versatile and can

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Speaker 1: go almost anywhere. Now, let's go rogue with today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: And if you need advice on relationship, dating, work, sex,

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Speaker 1: parenting and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve

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Speaker 1: HARVEYFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could

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Speaker 1: be reading your letter live on the air, just like

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Speaker 1: we're going to read this one right here, right now.

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Speaker 1: Let's go rogue. Buckle up and hold on tight. We

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Speaker 1: got it for you here. It is the Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subject we live in a shack, but

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Speaker 1: we're not shacking up. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a twenty

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Speaker 1: eight year old married woman and my husband and I

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Speaker 1: have been living in a one bedroom, two bas condo

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Speaker 1: for six years. My husband bought it before he met me,

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Speaker 1: and he promised to do some upgrades after we paid

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Speaker 1: off our wedding. The carpet is eleven years old, filthy

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Speaker 1: and frayed and the bathroom floor is an orange vinyl

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Speaker 1: tile that is coming up in spots. The kitchen appliances

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Speaker 1: are old and outdated, and I have begged him to

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Speaker 1: at least replace though, so I can have a refrigerator

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Speaker 1: and freezer that keeps our food fresh. We both work

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Speaker 1: decent jobs and have plenty of disposable income. We don't

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Speaker 1: have any car notes or credit cards, and we do

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Speaker 1: not have any children, so we have the money to

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Speaker 1: make some improvements, but my husband says is not important

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Speaker 1: to him. And the worst part of all of this

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Speaker 1: is he works as a construction manager every day. Two

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Speaker 1: years ago, he bought enough engineered wood flooring to put

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Speaker 1: all over our condo, but he hasn't done the work.

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Speaker 1: He said he doesn't feel like doing it on the

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Speaker 1: weekend since he does it at work daily. I asked

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Speaker 1: him if we could hire someone to come do the work.

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Speaker 1: He got offended and said he wasn't paying a man

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Speaker 1: to come fix anything in his house and it's disrespectful

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Speaker 1: for me to suggest that. Instead of him doing the

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Speaker 1: upgrades to ar condo gradually, he has chosen to convert

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Speaker 1: our guest bathroom into a studio, and he's always in

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Speaker 1: the bathroom, making beats in his spare time. If his

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Speaker 1: mom calls him to come fix something in her house,

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Speaker 1: he jumps to it. I'm sick of this shack we

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Speaker 1: live in. Economically, it makes sense to upgrade it. Oh,

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Speaker 1: sha shack, shack, baby shack. Economically, it makes sense to

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Speaker 1: upgrade it a bit and stay here for a few

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Speaker 1: more years. Really, Tommy, really, so would I be wrong

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Speaker 1: if I hired a contractor against my husband's wishes? Please advise, yes,

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Speaker 1: this is a shack, and no, you would not be wrong.

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Speaker 1: May I remind you? Since I have to, May I

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Speaker 1: remind you that this is your house too. All right?

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Speaker 1: You have to live there with an eleven year old

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Speaker 1: fraid and ugly and nasty carpet. You are his wife.

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Speaker 1: You have to start speaking up for yourself. Okay. When

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Speaker 1: his mama calls, he runs over there. He's a mama's boy. Okay,

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Speaker 1: who wants to live in a Nazi house? I mean,

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Speaker 1: you can't even keep your food fresh because you don't

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Speaker 1: have a decent refrigerator or freezer. I don't think there's

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Speaker 1: any excuse for this, especially because you say you have

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Speaker 1: a lot of disposable income so you can afford it.

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Speaker 1: Your husband is being unreasonable, he's being disrespectful and just

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Speaker 1: playing selfish. He converted the extra bathroom into a studio

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Speaker 1: to make beats. He's got time to do that. I

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Speaker 1: just think he should be too happy to make sure

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Speaker 1: that you're happy. I mean, everyone knows is saying happy wife,

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Speaker 1: happy life, and it's very very true. When is he

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Speaker 1: going to appreciate you and treat you like his wife,

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Speaker 1: the woman he's supposed to love and cherish. Huh? You

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Speaker 1: do know that you have a voice and you don't

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Speaker 1: have to take this from him. You need to sit

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Speaker 1: him down, let him know, I say, do it in

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Speaker 1: a nice way, but doing it in a strong, very

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Speaker 1: confident way. Let him know how you feel, what you want.

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Speaker 1: I just think, and you should know this too, that

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Speaker 1: marriages work and he cannot be lazy in this. When

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Speaker 1: you guys talk, hopefully he'll understand and you guys can

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Speaker 1: get a plan together to fix up the place. If not,

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Speaker 1: tell him no disrespect, but you refused to live like

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Speaker 1: this and just start hiring people and to help you

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Speaker 1: get it done. Mama's boy, Steve, Well mas this letter

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Speaker 1: right here. Man, it's kind of all over the place.

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Speaker 1: I feel sorry for this lady, but she's she can

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Speaker 1: do something about this. Ah. He live in his one

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Speaker 1: bad room, two bad condo for six years now. Her

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Speaker 1: husband bought it before he met you, and he promised

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Speaker 1: you to do some upgrades. That's the key to the letter.

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Speaker 1: He promised you that he would do some upgrades after

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Speaker 1: we paid off the wedding. Now, obviously the wedding is

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Speaker 1: paid off because y'all been six years, so the wedding

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Speaker 1: got to be paid off. Competi's eleven years old, filthy fraid.

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Speaker 1: Bathroom floor's orange vinyl. It's coming up on spots. Kitchen

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Speaker 1: plianes is an old and updated and I have and

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Speaker 1: here we go again. Begged him to at least replace those.

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Speaker 1: Excuse me, did he not promise this? If a man

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Speaker 1: promised you something, why are you now begging him for

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Speaker 1: what he promised? Man, damn doc, Do what you say

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Speaker 1: you're gonna do. That's all this is, man, This is real,

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Speaker 1: simple man. Just do what you say you're gonna do.

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Speaker 1: But ladies, but ladies, you keep letting him off the hook.

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Speaker 1: See the worst part. He's a construction manager. Now, he

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Speaker 1: bought some wood flooring to put in the house. He

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Speaker 1: does it, but now let me tell you anything, So hold,

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Speaker 1: hold before I go do that. Y'all both work decent

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Speaker 1: jobs and you have plenty of disposable income. What do

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Speaker 1: you have plenty? So this is ridiculous. Now you don't

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Speaker 1: have any card notes, credit cards, and you ain't got

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Speaker 1: no kids. But my husband says it's not important to him.

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Speaker 1: It may not be important to here, But are you

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Speaker 1: important to him? See he promised you. You begging him,

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Speaker 1: and now it ain't important to him. But is it

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Speaker 1: important to you? Does he value your wishes? And obviously

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Speaker 1: so far he doesn't. So when we come back, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna show you how to flip it. Yeah, we'll have

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Speaker 1: part two coming up of your response Steve at twenty

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Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour, we live in a shack

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Speaker 1: where we're not shocking up. Back after this you're listening show,

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Speaker 1: all right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's strawberry. Let

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Speaker 1: the subject we live in a shack, but we're not

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Speaker 1: shacking up. You know, this is an interesting letter. This

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Speaker 1: young woman he's twenty eight, married this man. He had

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Speaker 1: this house, this card before, and he promised this woman

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Speaker 1: that after they paid off the wedding that he would

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Speaker 1: do some renovations. Well he haven't. He hasn't the kitchen

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Speaker 1: applies at all. And then this woman has been begging him. Well,

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Speaker 1: now that's crazy, because why do you have to beg

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Speaker 1: somebody to keep a promise you made? I can promise

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Speaker 1: you that if I promise Marjorie Harvey something, best to

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Speaker 1: do it because you will not forget it. Man, I

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Speaker 1: promised to remind it. S you have, you have his

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Speaker 1: words to use, but you're not so anyway. Uh, you

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Speaker 1: have plenty of disposable income. You said you don't have

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Speaker 1: a cardote, you don't have credit cards? What y'all doing

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Speaker 1: with the money? So now later on in the letter

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Speaker 1: you say y'all saving for another place. But then you

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Speaker 1: got to sell that place. You gotta fix it up

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Speaker 1: to sell it, and you gotta fix it up because

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Speaker 1: you're live in it. This is stupid. And then when

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Speaker 1: you want him to make some improvement, your husband says

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Speaker 1: it's not important to him, but it is important to you.

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Speaker 1: Does your husband not value what is important to his wife?

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Speaker 1: Who have you married? What idiot did you marry? What

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Speaker 1: did he say to you? And all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: he ain't doing nothing, he said, there's a way. I

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Speaker 1: haven't answer. Faith. Worst part of this is he's a

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Speaker 1: construction manager. Two years ago he bought some engineered wood

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Speaker 1: flowing to put all through the condo, but he ain't

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Speaker 1: done the work. He said, don't feel like doing it

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Speaker 1: on the weekends since he does that work all day.

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Speaker 1: I asked him if we could hire someone to come

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Speaker 1: do the work. He got offended and said he wasn't

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Speaker 1: paying a man to fix anything in his house, and

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Speaker 1: it's disrespectful for me to suggest that. Okay, hold on,

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Speaker 1: First of all, we're dealing with a misplaced male ego.

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Speaker 1: See if you want to say, can't no man fix

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Speaker 1: nothing in my house, then you have to fix it.

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Speaker 1: I got that, that's male ego. I ain't man at

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Speaker 1: the doe for saying that. But then if k no

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Speaker 1: man fix nothing in your house but you won't fix it,

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Speaker 1: you have what I call displaced male ego. You have

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Speaker 1: placed it in the wrong place. K no man fix

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Speaker 1: nothing in my house? That includes you. So now I

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Speaker 1: ain't no man, me or nobody else fixing nothing in

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Speaker 1: my house. Dog, you stupid an idiot. And then it's

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Speaker 1: being disrespectful. You to suggest it, it's being disrespectful that

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Speaker 1: he won't do it. See you keep letting him flip

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Speaker 1: the scrip on. You ain't disrespectful that you suggested. It's

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Speaker 1: disrespectful that he won't do it. So instead of him

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Speaker 1: doing the upgrades on condo gradually, he has chosen to

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Speaker 1: convert our guess bathroom into a studio. That he's always

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Speaker 1: in the bathroom making beats in his spare time? Is

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Speaker 1: this his plan to get y'all out to shack? What

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Speaker 1: making bets? Is he doing beats in the bathroom? So

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Speaker 1: you're married to timberly lady? If his mom calls him

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Speaker 1: to come fix something her and how he jumps on

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Speaker 1: and do it. I'm sick of his shack we live in. Economically,

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Speaker 1: it makes sense to upgrade it in a bit and

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Speaker 1: stay here a few more years. So would I be

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Speaker 1: wrong if I hid a contractor against my husband's wishes?

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Speaker 1: Please about it before you do that. I have some

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Speaker 1: suggestive foray. First of all, let me give you something

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Speaker 1: advice that I tell young people at work for me too.

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Speaker 1: I got two places you do not cut back on

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Speaker 1: You do not cut back on what you eat because

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Speaker 1: that stuff enters your body, and you become what you eat.

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Speaker 1: So don't ever cut back on what you eat. Now,

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Speaker 1: if you pour and you don't have enough to understand,

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Speaker 1: but if you have, like this letter, disposable income and

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Speaker 1: you have enough money to decide what you want to eat,

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Speaker 1: I'm not talking about really poor people has just gotta

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Speaker 1: buy what they can afford. If you have a choice,

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Speaker 1: do not cut back on what you eat. The second

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Speaker 1: thing you don't cut back on is where you live

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Speaker 1: your body. You gotta carry this body around, so you

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Speaker 1: gotta be conscious of what you eat and where you stay.

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Speaker 1: You'll spend more time in your house than you will anywhere.

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Speaker 1: Why would you cut back on your house? What you're

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Speaker 1: going to work for? If you can't come into a

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Speaker 1: nice place and rest, y'all can't even have company. Ain't

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Speaker 1: nobody over here here in the other bathroom doing be

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Speaker 1: twist to people going to the bathroom? Why is this

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Speaker 1: turntable on time? And its tarlet? You? I can't because

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Speaker 1: you got a track set up here. Now listen to me, man,

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Speaker 1: what is we doing in here? Not listen to me?

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Speaker 1: You have two things you can do to get this done.

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Speaker 1: You should just say simply, I'm not living like this anymore.

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Speaker 1: I am not living like this anymore. I am embarrassed

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Speaker 1: of where we live. I can't have company. I don't

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Speaker 1: like where we live. It's given me the creeps. And

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Speaker 1: I can't perform in this bed. No more like this

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Speaker 1: because it's just not what I want. I just can't.

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Speaker 1: I just can't. I don't get turned on with where

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Speaker 1: we live. And here's the big problem. And this is

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Speaker 1: why I want you to say it. But you probably

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Speaker 1: must see he promised you he would do this. If

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Speaker 1: Marjorie says to me, but you promise, what she never

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Speaker 1: has to say, because if I promise, I have to

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Speaker 1: do it. But if if if you go to him

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Speaker 1: and go but you promised, and then cry, oh, but

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Speaker 1: you promise, And then when you try to hold you

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Speaker 1: and comfort you, all you keep saying is but you promise.

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Speaker 1: They ain't a man living that can let his woman

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Speaker 1: keep saying to him, but you promise you And he

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Speaker 1: don't do that. Men, we can't stand that. Baby. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do it. Baby, fix to flow now, all right?

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Speaker 1: Going to the phones eight seven seven to falla at us.

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Speaker 1: You're listening