WEBVTT - Find me time before everyone's asleep

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to find me time before everyone in

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<v Speaker 1>your household is asleep. A common complaint I hear, especially

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<v Speaker 1>from parents of little kids, is that they have no

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<v Speaker 1>me time during the day, so they stay up late

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<v Speaker 1>to get it, sometimes really late, after their kids bedtimes,

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<v Speaker 1>after they've done the dishes and tidy it up from

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<v Speaker 1>the day, maybe after packing lunches or laying out clothes

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<v Speaker 1>for the next day. Then they stay up. But by

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<v Speaker 1>the time the kids are asleep and the chores are done,

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<v Speaker 1>people are exhausted and determined to have some alone time

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<v Speaker 1>anyway darn it, so they stay up late to get it.

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<v Speaker 1>And this time isn't exactly high value. People are too

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<v Speaker 1>exhausted to do much beyond scroll or channel sir, but

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<v Speaker 1>at least it's autonomous. This can continue for hours, which

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<v Speaker 1>means that the me time comes at the price of

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<v Speaker 1>starting the next day exhausted too. One of my foundational

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<v Speaker 1>time management rules is to give yourself a bedtime. Choose

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<v Speaker 1>a time you intend to be in bed most nights,

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<v Speaker 1>a time that will enable enough sleep and then go

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<v Speaker 1>to bed unless you have a good reason not to.

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<v Speaker 1>It seems simple, but I also know that a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of people resist this rule because going to bed at

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<v Speaker 1>a rational time feels like it might mean sacrificing time

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<v Speaker 1>for themselves, and so sleep deprivation is a price people

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<v Speaker 1>are willing to pay for me time. But here's the thing.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't have to choose between adequate sleep and discretionary time.

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<v Speaker 1>Sleep and me time are both essential to a satisfying

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<v Speaker 1>and sustainable schedule. I promise you that with a little

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<v Speaker 1>planning and creativity, you can have both even in a

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<v Speaker 1>busy life. Here are some options for how First, if

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<v Speaker 1>you are looking for me time while your kids are asleep,

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<v Speaker 1>it might be possible to go to bed on time

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<v Speaker 1>and still get up before them. Now I'm not talking

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<v Speaker 1>about waking up at four thirty am, please, but if

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<v Speaker 1>your kids are normally up around let's say six thirty am,

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<v Speaker 1>even getting up at five am might allow for some

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<v Speaker 1>higher quality me time than you will get at eleven pm.

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<v Speaker 1>Late at night, you will probably scroll first thing in

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<v Speaker 1>the morning. You might read something more substantial than click

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<v Speaker 1>bait headlines. You might write in a journal or sketch

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<v Speaker 1>or do another creative hobby. Go to bed earlier and

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<v Speaker 1>get up earlier, and have time just for you first

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<v Speaker 1>thing in the morning. If you commute, definitely treat your

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<v Speaker 1>commute as me time. Listen to audio books for pleasure.

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<v Speaker 1>Spend some time researching longer podcasts you might listen to

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<v Speaker 1>that is longer than this one that might make the

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<v Speaker 1>trip feel exciting. Don't write off the work day either.

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<v Speaker 1>If you can possibly take breaks, take breaks. You could

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<v Speaker 1>think about your five lunch breaks during the week as

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<v Speaker 1>a portfolio of fun options. Maybe two days a week

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<v Speaker 1>you go out to eat with colleagues, two days a

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<v Speaker 1>week you read during your lunch break, and one day

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<v Speaker 1>you do a little adventure like stopping by a nearby

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<v Speaker 1>park or visiting a gallery that intrigues you. I'd also

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<v Speaker 1>suggest creating a few waking, non working hours where your

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<v Speaker 1>kids are not in your care. If you are co

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<v Speaker 1>parenting with someone, come up with a formal trade off schedule.

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<v Speaker 1>You could take an hour after work on Monday to

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<v Speaker 1>do something fun, and your co parent could get an

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<v Speaker 1>hour on Tuesday. Maybe each of you has some fun

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<v Speaker 1>for you commitment, like a group bike ride or choir

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<v Speaker 1>practice each week divide and conquer, and neither of you

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<v Speaker 1>will feel quite so compelled to stay up late just

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<v Speaker 1>to feel like an autonomous person. You could also invest

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<v Speaker 1>in some extra childcare. If you normally get off work

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<v Speaker 1>at five pm and your daycare closes at six pm,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe one night a week, don't rush straight there. Go

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<v Speaker 1>sit in a coffee shop or in the library and

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<v Speaker 1>decompressed for thirty minutes before heading over. And if you

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<v Speaker 1>have little ones who still nap on weekends, don't do

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<v Speaker 1>chores during naptime. Well, at least, don't do chores first.

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<v Speaker 1>Use the first forty five minutes of nap time for

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<v Speaker 1>something that feels rejuvenating for you. If you were home

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<v Speaker 1>with little kids on weekdays, same rule. If you do

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<v Speaker 1>chores first, a short nap means you will get no

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<v Speaker 1>me time. But if you have your fun first, then

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<v Speaker 1>probably you will still get to the chores and bits

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<v Speaker 1>and pieces later, or you won't, but oh well, life

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<v Speaker 1>won't feel like such a drag. So this week, look

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<v Speaker 1>for ways you can find time for yourself without waiting

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<v Speaker 1>for everyone in your family to fall asleep. If you

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<v Speaker 1>subscribe to my Just a Minute email newsletter, you'll know

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<v Speaker 1>that I've talked recently about what I call the magic hour.

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<v Speaker 1>If you can find just one hour a day to

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<v Speaker 1>do something that you enjoy, life will feel entirely different.

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<v Speaker 1>I promise it's like magic. People often try to get

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<v Speaker 1>that magic hour at night, but if you can get

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<v Speaker 1>it during the day, you will have a lot more

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<v Speaker 1>options and a lot more energy for enjoying it. So

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<v Speaker 1>how can you make a magic hour for you before

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<v Speaker 1>your family falls asleep? If you've got suggestions of what's

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<v Speaker 1>worked for you, I would love to hear them. You

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<v Speaker 1>can email me at Laura at Laura Vanderkam dot com.

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<v Speaker 1>In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

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<v Speaker 1>here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod

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<v Speaker 1>that's b E the number four then Breakfast p O D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>podcast at iHeartMedia dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled

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<v Speaker 1>out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look

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<v Speaker 1>forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production

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<v Speaker 1>of I Heart Radio for more podcasts from my heart Radio,

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<v Speaker 1>visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever

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<v Speaker 1>you listen to your favorite shows.