1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to find me time before everyone in 4 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: your household is asleep. A common complaint I hear, especially 5 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,639 Speaker 1: from parents of little kids, is that they have no 6 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:35,559 Speaker 1: me time during the day, so they stay up late 7 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:41,600 Speaker 1: to get it, sometimes really late, after their kids bedtimes, 8 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: after they've done the dishes and tidy it up from 9 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:47,360 Speaker 1: the day, maybe after packing lunches or laying out clothes 10 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: for the next day. Then they stay up. But by 11 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 1: the time the kids are asleep and the chores are done, 12 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 1: people are exhausted and determined to have some alone time 13 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,800 Speaker 1: anyway darn it, so they stay up late to get it. 14 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: And this time isn't exactly high value. People are too 15 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 1: exhausted to do much beyond scroll or channel sir, but 16 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: at least it's autonomous. This can continue for hours, which 17 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: means that the me time comes at the price of 18 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 1: starting the next day exhausted too. One of my foundational 19 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: time management rules is to give yourself a bedtime. Choose 20 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:32,400 Speaker 1: a time you intend to be in bed most nights, 21 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: a time that will enable enough sleep and then go 22 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: to bed unless you have a good reason not to. 23 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,039 Speaker 1: It seems simple, but I also know that a lot 24 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: of people resist this rule because going to bed at 25 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: a rational time feels like it might mean sacrificing time 26 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: for themselves, and so sleep deprivation is a price people 27 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 1: are willing to pay for me time. But here's the thing. 28 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: You don't have to choose between adequate sleep and discretionary time. 29 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:08,679 Speaker 1: Sleep and me time are both essential to a satisfying 30 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:13,080 Speaker 1: and sustainable schedule. I promise you that with a little 31 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: planning and creativity, you can have both even in a 32 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: busy life. Here are some options for how First, if 33 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 1: you are looking for me time while your kids are asleep, 34 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: it might be possible to go to bed on time 35 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 1: and still get up before them. Now I'm not talking 36 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 1: about waking up at four thirty am, please, but if 37 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,640 Speaker 1: your kids are normally up around let's say six thirty am, 38 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 1: even getting up at five am might allow for some 39 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 1: higher quality me time than you will get at eleven pm. 40 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: Late at night, you will probably scroll first thing in 41 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 1: the morning. You might read something more substantial than click 42 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,680 Speaker 1: bait headlines. You might write in a journal or sketch 43 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: or do another creative hobby. Go to bed earlier and 44 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: get up earlier, and have time just for you first 45 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:12,960 Speaker 1: thing in the morning. If you commute, definitely treat your 46 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 1: commute as me time. Listen to audio books for pleasure. 47 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 1: Spend some time researching longer podcasts you might listen to 48 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: that is longer than this one that might make the 49 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:29,080 Speaker 1: trip feel exciting. Don't write off the work day either. 50 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 1: If you can possibly take breaks, take breaks. You could 51 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: think about your five lunch breaks during the week as 52 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: a portfolio of fun options. Maybe two days a week 53 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: you go out to eat with colleagues, two days a 54 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: week you read during your lunch break, and one day 55 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 1: you do a little adventure like stopping by a nearby 56 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 1: park or visiting a gallery that intrigues you. I'd also 57 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:01,480 Speaker 1: suggest creating a few waking, non working hours where your 58 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 1: kids are not in your care. If you are co 59 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: parenting with someone, come up with a formal trade off schedule. 60 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 1: You could take an hour after work on Monday to 61 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 1: do something fun, and your co parent could get an 62 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:19,279 Speaker 1: hour on Tuesday. Maybe each of you has some fun 63 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,559 Speaker 1: for you commitment, like a group bike ride or choir 64 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 1: practice each week divide and conquer, and neither of you 65 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 1: will feel quite so compelled to stay up late just 66 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 1: to feel like an autonomous person. You could also invest 67 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:38,280 Speaker 1: in some extra childcare. If you normally get off work 68 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:43,279 Speaker 1: at five pm and your daycare closes at six pm, 69 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 1: maybe one night a week, don't rush straight there. Go 70 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:50,479 Speaker 1: sit in a coffee shop or in the library and 71 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:55,560 Speaker 1: decompressed for thirty minutes before heading over. And if you 72 00:04:55,600 --> 00:05:00,279 Speaker 1: have little ones who still nap on weekends, don't do 73 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:05,279 Speaker 1: chores during naptime. Well, at least, don't do chores first. 74 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 1: Use the first forty five minutes of nap time for 75 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 1: something that feels rejuvenating for you. If you were home 76 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:16,440 Speaker 1: with little kids on weekdays, same rule. If you do 77 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 1: chores first, a short nap means you will get no 78 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:22,920 Speaker 1: me time. But if you have your fun first, then 79 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: probably you will still get to the chores and bits 80 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: and pieces later, or you won't, but oh well, life 81 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: won't feel like such a drag. So this week, look 82 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,280 Speaker 1: for ways you can find time for yourself without waiting 83 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: for everyone in your family to fall asleep. If you 84 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:46,360 Speaker 1: subscribe to my Just a Minute email newsletter, you'll know 85 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: that I've talked recently about what I call the magic hour. 86 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: If you can find just one hour a day to 87 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 1: do something that you enjoy, life will feel entirely different. 88 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: I promise it's like magic. People often try to get 89 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: that magic hour at night, but if you can get 90 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: it during the day, you will have a lot more 91 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: options and a lot more energy for enjoying it. So 92 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,920 Speaker 1: how can you make a magic hour for you before 93 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 1: your family falls asleep? If you've got suggestions of what's 94 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: worked for you, I would love to hear them. You 95 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 1: can email me at Laura at Laura Vanderkam dot com. 96 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 1: In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and 97 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, 98 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 99 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 100 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod 101 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 1: that's b E the number four then Breakfast p O D. 102 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,480 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 103 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 1: podcast at iHeartMedia dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled 104 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 1: out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look 105 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production 106 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: of I Heart Radio for more podcasts from my heart Radio, 107 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever 108 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.