WEBVTT - Here to Meet Men with Monica Padman 0:00:01.080 --> 0:00:03.720 Okay, I have a beef to pallo everyone. Are you 0:00:03.760 --> 0:00:07.080 there to me? Are you God? Are you there? God? 0:00:07.080 --> 0:00:10.600 It's me Chelsea and Catherine, Hi, Catherine. I have a 0:00:10.600 --> 0:00:14.680 beef to pick with airlines. I'm tell me. First of all, 0:00:14.920 --> 0:00:19.239 I am so sick and tired of not being able 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:21.840 to get on fucking WiFi on a plane when I 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:24.880 have an account with Go Go in flight with Delta 0:00:26.680 --> 0:00:30.760 Joint Go boin Go ship face I it is so 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:33.640 annoying that they just don't have the planes outfitted with 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:38.400 WiFi for everybody. Stop making me join and have another password. 0:00:38.640 --> 0:00:40.760 I have a security thing in my phone with all 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:45.479 my passwords. There are over a thousand passwords. Now I 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:47.760 have a thousand passwords for different things, and I will 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:49.839 never even find the password I'm looking for. If I 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:51.800 go in there to look for Go Go and flight 0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:55.400 and then it doesn't allow you to stay online. It 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:57.480 kicks you off the whole flight. It kicks you off, 0:00:57.560 --> 0:00:59.720 kicks you off, kicks you off and then But somehow 0:01:00.360 --> 0:01:02.960 I always see other people, other people can do it 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:06.160 just fine. They're they're not being kicked off. So like 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:09.960 I know that I have a disconnect with technology, just 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:13.640 like I have a new my my assistant Casey, well 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:16.560 that's Carlo's assistant. Let's just be clear. My assistant has 0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:19.679 her own assistant. And he's like, the speaker system at 0:01:19.680 --> 0:01:21.720 the house doesn't work because nothing ever works at any 0:01:21.720 --> 0:01:24.920 of my homes music. There's just no chance of anything 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:27.840 going smiftly with music. And by the time I get 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:29.920 it working, I can't remember what I like to listen to. 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:32.679 So he's like, oh, we'll get and get Alexa. I 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:35.080 was like, okay, great, let's get Alexa. It's about time 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:39.280 I have Alexa that does even Alexa doesn't listen to me, 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:42.480 she doesn't. I can put my speaker on one speaker, 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:44.080 I can't put the rest of the speakers on, so 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:46.240 I can only play music in one room. So I 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:48.200 have to blast it and then stay away from that 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:50.400 room where it's blasting because it's too loud in that room. 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:54.320 This is so complicated, it's so annoying. I definitely think 0:01:54.360 --> 0:01:57.720 I'm I have a hex, like a technology hex on me, 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:01.360 and and I want to say to airline, you're already 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:06.000 fucking losing, you know, you already guys suck you guys 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:08.760 suck right now, not not slight attendants. I love my 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:12.040 flight attendance, and I love pilots, especially when they're sober. 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:14.800 But I don't flights are being canceled because there's not 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:17.240 enough people working. Yeah, people don't want to work. I 0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:19.359 get it. I don't get that, actually, but I get 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:22.880 it that that's happening. Planes are so dirty and so gross, 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:25.320 now grosser than they were before COVID. We didn't learn 0:02:25.400 --> 0:02:28.919 anything about cleaning planes. When they say we're cleaning, we're cleaning, 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:34.079 cleaning before they work over the side of your arms 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:37.240 to see what's in there. Every flight, I look and 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:40.480 I'm like horrified. Because Carlave, my assistant, travels with wet 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:43.200 wipes all the time. She's always cleaning. She's responsible. She 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:46.160 still wears the mask, you know, wherever she goes. I mean, 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:47.839 I when I see her wearing a mask, I put 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:50.160 my mask on. You know, I'm like, what am I doing? 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:52.800 Why she's right? Why am I not wearing especially on 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:54.880 a plane when the germs are where I could see 0:02:54.919 --> 0:03:00.160 the germs. But this WiFi thing is maddening. It is. 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.400 And she just put WiFi on every plane so that 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:04.640 everyone could get on for free, and like make it 0:03:04.760 --> 0:03:08.280 free so that we're We're all happy and content and 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:11.359 like lost in the blue screen. Yeah, we're all online. 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:14.919 Everyone's online. Stop making a barrier of entry and stop 0:03:14.960 --> 0:03:18.480 making pass codes that are like w littwer case C 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:23.520 upper case zero lower case you fuck you. Who do 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:26.400 you think is coming in to break into your fucking WiFi? 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:31.640 Who is that? Especially now thirty so annoying, Chelsea. I 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:33.160 have to tell you about a woman I sat next 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:35.800 to on the plane. Thank god, she was across the 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:38.760 aisle from me and not next to me. But she 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:41.720 was an older woman. She chose that day to not 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:44.640 wear a bra and were a very cleany shirt, which 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:46.920 you know, to each their own, but I could tell 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:49.480 she had like cookie grandma vibes from the minute she 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:53.600 came on there I was sitting, I would not have 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:59.800 doubted it. She proceeded to remove her shoes and not 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:03.400 only placed them on the seat in front of her 0:04:04.080 --> 0:04:06.760 her feet, she placed them on the arm rest of 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:10.440 the person in front of her. She placed them inside 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:14.600 the seat back pockets. I've done that. I mean when 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:17.000 I was when I was in my twenties and I 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:20.200 was hungover on a plane, But not today. This woman 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:23.719 was not hungover. She was fully mainlining straight vodka on 0:04:23.760 --> 0:04:27.680 the rocks the entire flight and playing video poker out 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:30.880 loud with the sound on. No no, no, no, no no. 0:04:31.000 --> 0:04:35.760 I fucking hate that. How it was. It was a 0:04:35.760 --> 0:04:38.080 lot when people have their phones on and I have 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:40.760 air pods and I have to say something. Yeah. Thankfully 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:43.120 she only did it for like ten minutes before she 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:45.560 passed out. But the real deal breaker for me was 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:48.800 she kept reaching over to pet Mimsy, my dog was 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:50.760 with me, and you know, at first it was fine, 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:54.680 but it was not fine after she proceeded to massage 0:04:54.680 --> 0:04:57.320 her feet, her bare feet with her hands, and then 0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:02.200 like eat chips and suck on her fingers. After that, 0:05:02.279 --> 0:05:04.440 I was like, no, no, we're done petting the dog. 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:07.000 But this woman, this this was the cardinal send to me. 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:11.640 She chose to go to the airport bathroom two times 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:14.800 with no shoes on on the airplane. On the airplane 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:17.240 where you know, men are like jiggling around and they 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:19.799 can't aim very well and there's p all over the floor. 0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:22.800 I just was like, oh, I couldn't handle it. No, 0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:25.680 that sounds so disgusting. The whole thing is so gross 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:29.040 and uncouth like honestly, and and this is coming from me, 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:33.039 someone who doesn't have any dignity at all. I mean, honestly, 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:36.000 that is so gross. We were on a flight earlier 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:38.760 to New York and this woman brought a cat on board, 0:05:38.960 --> 0:05:41.440 and then she took the cat out, and after everyone 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:43.640 who walked by her, she'd be like, are you allergic? 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:47.239 Are you allergic? And everyone's like yeah, yeah, like five 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:49.559 people out of the seven. She asked that we're sitting 0:05:49.600 --> 0:05:53.359 around our area. I was behind her, or were allergic? Everyone? 0:05:53.480 --> 0:05:55.440 And I got so finally I said to her, I'm sorry, 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:57.359 why do you keep asking people if they're allergic if 0:05:57.400 --> 0:06:00.360 you're not putting the cat away? And she just looked 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:01.720 at me and she goes, I think some people are 0:06:01.760 --> 0:06:03.720 just allergic to life, I go, and some people are 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:07.120 allergic to cats. I'm not because I I don't. I 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:09.320 just don't like cats. I prefer not to be hanging 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:12.400 out with cats. But but I mean, I'm not gonna 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:14.800 have an allergic reaction to a cat. But I was like, 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:18.039 stop asking people, like you're basically using the cat as 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:22.440 a conversation starter. And then ender you know, if you 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:24.400 don't want to get into the details, don't get into 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:27.280 the details anyway, Airlines, I really hope you guys step 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:30.039 your fucking shit up, because this is gross already. What's happening? 0:06:30.560 --> 0:06:32.760 I mean, we really need someone's calling you. I don't 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:37.960 know if it's someone important, scam likely scam scam. Yeah, 0:06:38.000 --> 0:06:39.680 I know. It happens all day long. This is sort 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:41.640 of a secret life hack. I get a lot of 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:44.960 sort of scammy calls from where I'm from because my 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:48.360 zip code, not my zip code, my area code, is 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:51.840 still from my hometown many states away. So I know 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:55.200 if I'm getting a call from like Moleen, Illinois, not 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:57.560 to pick it up. Yeah, it's pretty great wherever you 0:06:57.600 --> 0:06:59.680 live in the country. If you're getting a call from 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:02.159 mole In, Illinois, don't pick it up. Do not pick 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:08.279 it up. All right, Well, let's get to our guest 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:11.520 for today. We have a great guest today. She is 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:16.600 a producer and the co host of Armchair Expert, and 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:20.920 she has a new upcoming fertility related podcast that we 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:22.600 can't show the name of yet, but her name is 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:27.000 Monica Padmint and we're happy to have you. Hi, Monica, Hi, oh, 0:07:27.040 --> 0:07:29.720 I'm so happy to have you here. I am so 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:32.200 flattered to be here. I can't believe I got the email. 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:34.480 What do you mean you can't believe it? Especially without Dax. 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:37.400 I'm sick of seeing you with Dax. I mean, listen, 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:41.600 you guys have created a quite an extraordinary podcast. Congratulations 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:43.920 on that, because I know you guys just signed a 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:48.040 huge deal. Shout out. Sorry, I heart right, yeah, fuck you, 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:52.120 I heart fuck you. But that's well deserved. Thank me. 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:55.480 Years and years of really hard work and amazing interviews 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:59.120 across the board, whether it be a like celebrity a 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:05.840 neurophysicist as you meant, a celebrity neurophysicist gynecologist is how 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:08.880 I like to classify myself. And then you have another 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:11.400 podcast that's coming out, Yeah, I mean, we have a 0:08:11.400 --> 0:08:13.960 a Jillian podcast. To be fair, We we just keep 0:08:14.040 --> 0:08:15.880 doing more and more and more. But I do have 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:18.360 one coming out that's me and Liz Plank. You know 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:21.480 Liz Playing. She has a master's in gender. She's on 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:23.840 CNN all the time talking about she's the best seller 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:26.840 on like copy that how men are Wonderful and bad. 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:30.960 She's perfect. And we're doing a podcast. We're gonna freeze 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:34.040 our eggs at the same time, and we're going to 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:37.000 follow that process We're going to check in every day 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:40.040 and like see how we are, while also talking to 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:44.480 different people with different fertility stories. Everyone has one. Yeah, 0:08:44.520 --> 0:08:46.280 I know. My friend just posted something and I was 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:47.839 reading and I'm like, I don't even understand what the 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:49.560 hell she was talking about, because I'm so not well 0:08:49.679 --> 0:08:53.240 versed in fertility. No one is. No one's taught anything 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:56.720 because women related. It's a female issue, So why would 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:59.839 anybody have to educate themselves on the matter. Exactly? Did 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:03.599 you see that disgusting documentary our Father speaking of infertility? 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:08.520 I'm so scared. Yeah, it's pretty creepy, you guys. It's 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:11.200 the story of a doctor who inseminated his own semen 0:09:11.240 --> 0:09:13.760 into all of his patients. Not all, but he has 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:15.559 like a hundred children out there and they all found 0:09:15.559 --> 0:09:18.800 each other on twenty three and me, I'm like, wait 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:20.160 a second. I'm like, first of all, I didn't know 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:22.520 you could find siblings on tree and right, I think 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:24.520 there's an option where you put yourself on there is 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:27.360 to say like I'm looking, or you keep it quiet. Oh, 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:30.720 you know, it's hilarious. Started to diverge us, but malt 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:33.559 We had Malcolm Gladwell on recently and he did that, 0:09:34.000 --> 0:09:36.640 and a sibling came up and he was like, oh my, 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:40.240 oh my god, I have a twin. It was a twin. 0:09:40.679 --> 0:09:42.920 I was like, I have a twin that my mom 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:44.719 didn't tell me about. What do I do? And do it? 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:47.160 Do I confront her about? I can't confront her. My 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:49.439 mom's a twin. Why would she do this? And turns 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:54.160 out it was him again. It was again. It was 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:56.800 just like a weird fluke in the system and it 0:09:56.880 --> 0:10:00.160 was just him. That's so stupid. What a ways some 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:04.439 time and right I was laughing so hard. Oh my god. 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:07.520 We actually had someone right into us who was like, 0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:12.680 I'm a product of one of these creepy doctors. So gross, 0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:15.800 so gross. Yeah, and she and her mom are advocates 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:19.720 now for like I gotta get these people on the pod. Yeah, yeah, 0:10:19.760 --> 0:10:21.560 I got to look into it. Actually, that's a great 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:23.760 documentary for you to watch for you, Yeah, because there's 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:25.640 one girl who spearheads the whole thing, and she's the 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:28.800 one who contacts each sibling that pops up because a 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:31.240 lot of these people, you know, were married to their 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:33.520 husbands but couldn't get pregnant, so they thought they were 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:36.680 being inseminated by their husband's were only to find out 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:39.800 twenty years later that their child is someone else's child. 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:43.560 Imagine the disruption. I mean, that's just like I mean, 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:46.839 and the guy's not in jail, he's not he's from 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:50.480 some Republican state because it's not technically illegal. There's some 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:53.200 weird loophole. Yeah, there's a loophole where a doctor could 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:55.160 go jerk off in a room and then come back 0:10:55.200 --> 0:11:00.480 and put it in someone's vagina. So that's nice loophole. Guys. Monica, 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:02.720 I want to talk about the story of you meeting 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:05.719 Dax and Christian because I didn't know that you were 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:09.600 their babysitter. I was, that's so funny. I know, so 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:12.760 your babies have for Dax first babysat for them. Well 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:14.600 I did, I was, you know, I came out here 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:16.600 to act. So I did an episode of House Civilize 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:20.559 on which I played Kristen's assistant. Life art very simple, 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:24.080 and she had just had her first kid, and I 0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:25.679 was like, well, I also, baby said, that's really how 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:28.120 I make money, So if you ever need one, let 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.000 me know, and then she called a couple of weeks later. 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:32.840 Some then I was like, sporadically, Date Night babysitting for 0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:36.480 them while they went to the foot spall and then 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:38.520 they had their second and they needed a little bit 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:40.160 more help. So they were like, do you want to 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:42.480 come on more full time? And at first I was 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:47.600 like no, because I am an actor and I need 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:51.760 I need time for my auditions in Santa Monica, so 0:11:54.760 --> 0:11:58.160 you need time to prepare. So they were like, will 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.840 make that work, like you can go on auditions. It's fine, 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:02.480 Well we'll figure it out. And I was like, okay, 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:05.480 why not. But I really was like, I don't don't 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:07.520 want to babysit again. I had already babies, had that 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:10.040 I worked as a soule cycle, as a big as 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:12.440 a big departure from babysitting. I was like, but I 0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:14.839 love these guys. They're so fun and great. And then 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:19.760 it just like slowly started happening. Once Delta, their second, 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:23.040 went to preschool, christ and was like, well, we still 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:24.360 want to keep you around, but we don't need you 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:25.960 as much babysitting wise, do you want to do more 0:12:25.960 --> 0:12:27.960 assistant work? And I was like sure, So then I 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:30.199 did that and then I started like writing stuff for her, 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:32.480 and then we kind of partnered up, and then Dax 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:34.560 was like the thing. I went to a podcast and 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:37.360 I was like, oh help, I'll figure it out. Oh wow, 0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:40.080 it just like it is. And I mean, I have 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:41.960 to give them so much credit because I don't most 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:44.640 people would just be like, stay in your stay in 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:47.120 your lane, please. And that's actually what Kristen said when 0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:49.800 she was on this Really, that's exactly a quote that 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:52.800 Kristen was talking about. When she becomes in videous of 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:57.160 other actresses getting parts or having different kinds of careers 0:12:57.160 --> 0:13:00.439 than she has, that Dax would say stay in your lane, 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:02.560 stay in your lane, which I think is kind of like. 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:05.360 I don't like that phrase day in your lane because 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:07.440 I don't want to. As soon as someone tells me 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:09.600 to stay in my lane, there is no I'm dumping 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:12.920 in all the lane is gone. But I think he 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:16.680 meant more, don't try to be who you're not, right, 0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:20.440 But he's problematic phrasing. Yeah, well that's his whole problem. 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:22.120 That's why he needs you as a co host. I 0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:25.960 thought I thought you actually maybe four das, not the 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:29.680 two kids that now that Yeah, And I think that 0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:32.760 since Delta is named now after a variant, that she 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:35.600 should take das. Should you have to take Delta's name 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:39.400 and Delta should take taxes. But I do love their 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:41.880 whole friend group, all of you guys, like you guys 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.160 have a nice, tight knit group. I feel like I 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:46.200 kind of know you guys just by watching you guys 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:49.240 on Instagram, and you talk a lot about not having 0:13:49.320 --> 0:13:52.280 had a boyfriend. Tell me about that. It is. So 0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:55.439 we did Kimmel and he was like, so you've never 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:57.640 had to see his boyfriend and I I was like, like, 0:13:57.720 --> 0:14:00.440 I was so. I could not believe he was saying 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:02.880 that out loud on the show. And then he was like, well, 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:05.440 you did a show on it and I was like, oh, yeah, 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:10.079 I forgot. I told everyone already that it's like you forget. 0:14:10.480 --> 0:14:13.120 Forget everyone knows, but yeah, I mean, no, I haven't. 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:18.040 I have so many issues around dating. And also before that, 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:20.320 I really was like I can't get one when I 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:22.480 was in middle school and high school when I started 0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:24.880 liking boys, and I'm sure it was picking specifically, but 0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:29.200 I couldn't get one. And then it taught me like 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:33.200 it really implanted a narrative about myself that like you won't, 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:36.640 you can't, like you don't deserve it, or you're not worthy, 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:40.200 you know all those things. Then I morphed more into 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:45.440 I would pick people who definitely were unattainable, and then 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:49.080 if they started to become more attainable, if they were like, oh, Monica, 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:51.840 then I'd be like, no, something's wrong with you now 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:55.680 because you like me. If you like me, there's a problem. 0:14:56.720 --> 0:15:01.520 You're no hunger appealing to me. It's right exactly. So 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:03.040 you know, it's been that whole thing, and I'm in 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:06.200 therapy and I'm working on it, and our show helped, 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:09.040 like Monica and Jess, that show helped, but that was 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:12.320 like right before the pandemic and then and then I 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:14.520 stopped doing anything. Yeah, I mean that sounds like it's 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:17.280 a definite inside job, but I can relate to starting 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:20.360 to believe a narrative about yourself for so long. I 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:23.840 also felt like, even though I've had loves and boyfriends 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:25.880 and stuff like I I there have been times where 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:28.400 I'm like, oh, I'm not marriage material, Like I'm not 0:15:28.400 --> 0:15:30.960 going to be that person. I'm not somebody that anyone 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:34.880 would even propose to. I'm not going to have that 0:15:35.280 --> 0:15:38.080 or I'm not going to have anything traditional in that sense. 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:40.360 I'm not going to have a life partner I've had 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:44.720 all those thoughts. But yeah, so you've never had a boyfriend. Wow, 0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:48.280 I know it's really weird to say even still, yeah, 0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:51.360 and how old are you? I'm about to be thirty five? Okay, 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:53.640 Well good, I hope that this is we're coming upon 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:56.680 a big transition in your life. Well, if anyone wants 0:15:56.720 --> 0:15:59.960 to spray my eggs, I will have some eggs available. 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:04.520 I don't know, you know, I don't know. That's sort 0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:08.960 of the whole thing. But I'm just freezing them to see, like, 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:11.440 you know, some insurance for the future, I guess, but 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:13.920 also like because I don't even I don't know if 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:17.520 I want kids, I'm not sure, but I want the option, 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:20.360 you know. And it's already been interesting because I had 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:22.440 a call with my doctor yesterday and so I've been 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:25.440 on birth control for like ironically, I've been on birth 0:16:25.440 --> 0:16:29.160 control for since I was eighteen or something. I's got 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:31.040 on it for my skin and then I've just been 0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:34.720 on it. And she was like, well, it's gonna affect 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:37.440 your count, probably you should get off of it for 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:40.960 a few months before and I was like, no, it's 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:45.800 like I'm not doing that. I'm not changing my daily operations. 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:48.360 For this thing that I don't even know if I 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:50.400 want that, And so I like got really in my 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:52.320 head about it and I didn't get off birth control. 0:16:52.360 --> 0:16:53.640 And then she called me. She was like, Okay, so 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:57.520 like everything looks good. We like your account does look 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:01.080 a little smaller than it would normally be. And I 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:03.400 was like, fuck that birth control, Like I should have 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:06.320 done it. You know, it's like it's already and I 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:08.159 don't even know. I don't even know if I'm going 0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:11.639 to use them. Yeah, a lot of conversations going on 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:14.439 in your head. Yes, that feel like I shouldn't be 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:16.200 thinking about this. I don't even have a partner, I 0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:19.200 don't have like why, but women are forced to think 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:23.480 about it. Where did you grow up, Georgia? M what city? Duluth? 0:17:23.680 --> 0:17:26.399 Like half hour outside of Land. Okay, so was it conservative? 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:29.879 Is that more liberal? To Luth? Now it is more liberal. 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.280 It's like one of the counties that's blue. I was 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:34.560 gonna say, well, you can't get more conservative, but I'm 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:39.520 sorry you can't forgotten you can get more conservative. Oh yes, unfortunately, Yes, 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:42.800 there were like two blue counties. My family lives in 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:45.399 one of them. And it is I mean, it's it 0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:49.280 was suburbs. It wasn't like down South or anything like that. 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:54.439 But yes, there's a conservative undertone obviously to that whole state, 0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:58.560 so it wasn't too bad. I mean, I think once 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:01.160 I left is when I really could see the differences. 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:03.560 I know. I think that's the whole point of leaving, 0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:07.560 is to actually expand your brain and have your thinking 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:11.480 challenged exactly. I mean, just to have your like understanding 0:18:11.520 --> 0:18:14.239 of the fact that where you live and grow up. 0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:16.320 Like when I meet people or I know, people from 0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:18.800 high school that still live in this hound that I 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:21.520 grew up in, I'm like, what kind of life experience 0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:23.720 have you had? What are you doing? You live next 0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:29.200 door to your fucking mother? I know, I know, yeah 0:18:29.280 --> 0:18:31.560 I try. You know. That's my instinct too, is to 0:18:31.640 --> 0:18:35.280 be like, yikes, Like with my friends who still live 0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:37.400 at home and a lot of them are married there, 0:18:37.400 --> 0:18:39.359 We're all still very close, and a lot of them 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:41.560 are married to their high school sweethearts, and yeah, they 0:18:41.600 --> 0:18:45.119 live near their family, and and I'm like, oh my god, 0:18:45.160 --> 0:18:46.960 if I had done that, it would have been so different. 0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:49.080 But then I see them and I'm like, it's working 0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:52.360 for them, it wouldn't work for me. I don't think, 0:18:52.400 --> 0:18:55.400 which is why I left. But for them, I don't. 0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:58.399 I don't know, like their lives will seem happy. And 0:18:58.440 --> 0:19:02.320 I'm trying not. I'm just trying not to make mass judgments, 0:19:02.840 --> 0:19:04.760 which I want to do all the time, and I'm 0:19:04.800 --> 0:19:07.040 trying hard not to. And what are you doing to 0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:10.280 actively start dating? Are you on any of these websites? 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:13.600 I'm going on this podcast so that somebody will reach it. 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:17.640 You have a man. Straight guys listen to this podcast, 0:19:17.720 --> 0:19:20.159 that's for sure. Yeah, we have one straight guy that 0:19:20.200 --> 0:19:25.160 works on the podcast, and that's Catherine's husband. Okay, unavailable. 0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:30.040 We did have a straight man that came on the podcast, right, 0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:32.680 he called it. He was black, of course, because there 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:35.000 would be no straight white male that it would listen 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:38.320 to this podcast and then stop listening and just sucking 0:19:38.320 --> 0:19:40.120 blow his brains out and be like, oh my god, 0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:44.159 why am I such an asshole? But yeah, you have 0:19:44.240 --> 0:19:46.880 to be actively dating because you're a catch, thank you. Yeah, 0:19:46.920 --> 0:19:50.359 and you deserve to be loved and to love I know, 0:19:50.560 --> 0:19:53.720 I mean, I know I know that intellectually. Yeah, it's 0:19:53.760 --> 0:19:57.040 a matter of knowing it emotionally, you know, like do 0:19:57.080 --> 0:19:58.920 you have this like you must because you're so smart 0:19:58.960 --> 0:20:01.640 and successful that like where your your brain is not 0:20:01.800 --> 0:20:06.280 matching your feelings. No, but yeah, there's dissonance for sure 0:20:06.359 --> 0:20:08.520 at times with my brain and my but I mean 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:13.000 it's an an intellectual knowing. I feel like emotional knowing 0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:16.080 is like gut it all, and an intellectual knowing is 0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:18.480 more powerful than your gut in something you know. And 0:20:18.520 --> 0:20:20.840 so I feel like when you know something in your head, 0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:23.199 you can infuse that into your gut and it's like 0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:26.439