1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEPRVFM dot com. All 4 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter. We 5 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: could be reading your letter live on the air, just 6 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 1: like we're going to read this one right here, right now. 7 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: You never know, it could be yours. You never know. 8 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for you. 9 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: Here it is Strawberry. Thank you, nephew. Subject started from 10 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: the bottom. Now we're here. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a 11 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: twenty nine year old married woman who's married to a 12 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: forty four year old man. When I met him, I 13 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: was twenty four and I fell in love with him. 14 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: Because I was so ready to move out of my 15 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,840 Speaker 1: mom's house, I moved in with him a few months 16 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: later he proposed to me. Then we hit rock bottom 17 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: and he lost the house. For three months. We had 18 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: to live with my mother and I was in health 19 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 1: all over again. We got back on our feet and 20 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: got an apartment not far from my mother's house. My 21 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,759 Speaker 1: mother was giving me money to get basic things I needed. 22 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: When I fell short, my husband didn't know about it. 23 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,119 Speaker 1: He found out and confronted my mother about making him 24 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: seem like less than a man, and she said he 25 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 1: was my husband. And my mom didn't speak for months, 26 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: and then one day I went by my mom's house 27 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:28,040 Speaker 1: and I saw my husband's car there. I walked in 28 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 1: and he was scrambling eggs in the kitchen and my 29 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:36,320 Speaker 1: mom was in the shower. I went and pulled my 30 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 1: mother out of the shower, and she tried to fight me. 31 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: My husband and my mother told me they've been messing 32 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 1: around since we lived with her. My husband said he's 33 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: only sleeping with my mother and cooking for her because 34 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:54,639 Speaker 1: he owes her money my mother. My mother said she's 35 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: happy to get it anyway she can. I have no 36 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: positive female role model in my life, and now I'm 37 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: married to a man that sells his soul to get 38 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: the bills paid. I have put my husband out and 39 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: he's staying with his brother. He's been begging me to 40 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 1: come back to our apartment, but I can't believe he 41 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 1: fell for my mother's schemes and was sleeping with her. 42 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,840 Speaker 1: He's just as damaged by her as I am. So 43 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 1: I feel like I need to be kind to him 44 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: and give him a second chance. Should I forgive him 45 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:30,919 Speaker 1: or not? What this letter is really really really out there, 46 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: and people think we make this stuff up? How can we? 47 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,800 Speaker 1: How can we make this up? All right? Should you 48 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 1: forgive him or not? I mean, eventually, of course I'll 49 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,519 Speaker 1: tell you to forgive him, That's always the best way, 50 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: but you, mun Steve may feel otherwise. Eventually. I didn't 51 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 1: say go back to him, but you know, in order 52 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 1: to move on with your life. But your man and 53 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,360 Speaker 1: your your your mom and your husband. But but I 54 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: have to say mostly your mom in this instance, because 55 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 1: you are her daughter. There's no way she should be, 56 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:06,919 Speaker 1: you know, doing this with your husband. There's just no way. 57 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: This is sick. This is craziness. Your husband, he's crazy too, 58 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:15,679 Speaker 1: for even thinking that he had to do this. I 59 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: don't believe it for a second. He's sleeping with her 60 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 1: to get the bills paid. He's just sleeping with her 61 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 1: because he wanted to sleep with her, because she wanted 62 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 1: him to sleep with her. I mean, they have a 63 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 1: whole set of other circumstances going on with them. But 64 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: you know, don't make excuses for him. He's just as 65 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 1: damaged by her as you are. That might be the 66 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: case with so what he knows right from wrong. He's 67 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 1: a grown, forty four year old man. No, do not 68 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 1: give him a second chance. He doesn't deserve a second chance. 69 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: That was just too low down. I think you should 70 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 1: move on with your life. You know, even if you 71 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 1: have to stop speaking to your mom for a while 72 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 1: and move on with your life. You need to put 73 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 1: this behind you. That's what I say, Steve. Everybody lives 74 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: that of crazy for sure. You Stephen Shirley, I'm a 75 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: twenty nine year old married woman married to a forty 76 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: four year old man. Here's where the letter takes a dive. 77 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,520 Speaker 1: When I met him, I was twenty four. I fell 78 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:17,040 Speaker 1: in love with him because I was so ready to 79 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 1: move out of my mom's house. That's why you fell 80 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 1: in love with him? Or is that why you said 81 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 1: you loved him? See, I don't really believe you fell 82 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,599 Speaker 1: in love with him. I just needed you needed a 83 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 1: man for convenience. I moved in with him. A few 84 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 1: months later he proposed to me. Then we hit rock 85 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 1: bottom and he lost the house. He was losing that 86 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:44,359 Speaker 1: house before that. You know, you just moved in a 87 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,280 Speaker 1: few months later he proposed me, and he lost the house. 88 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 1: You don't lose a house in a few months. He 89 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: was already in the process of losing that house. For 90 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 1: three months. We had to live with my mother, and 91 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 1: I was in hell all over again. We got back 92 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,480 Speaker 1: on our he got an apartment not far from my 93 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:06,599 Speaker 1: mother's house, but other mistakes. My mother was giving me 94 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 1: money to get some basic stuff that I needed when 95 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: I fell short. And your husband didn't know about it, 96 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:15,239 Speaker 1: you said. He found out confront of my mother about 97 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 1: making him seem less than a man, and she said, 98 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 1: he was Your is last than of the man, Your 99 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 1: is last than the man. The way you're doing my 100 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 1: daughter over here with me frying these eggs and everything 101 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 1: just in here, frying in just in here, making aggs, 102 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: scrambling the eggs, you know, and who what is I? Whoa? 103 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: Who is I baking? We got back on her feet. 104 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 1: Mother's giving me money for basic stuff. My husband didn't 105 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: know about it. He found out confront of my mother 106 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 1: making him seem less than a man. She said he 107 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:58,040 Speaker 1: was my husband, and my mom didn't speak for months. 108 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: That's what you think, see, that's what you think. And 109 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 1: then one day I went by my mom's house I 110 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:09,239 Speaker 1: saw my husband's card in you just think that morning 111 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:12,800 Speaker 1: they started talking again. Well, you walked in and he 112 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: was scramming the eggs in the kitchen, just in there, 113 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: just beating him up like he'd work at the Waffa House. 114 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,039 Speaker 1: Just in there, got a little whisked. He don't watch 115 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 1: what just in there, just chopping it, slipping eggs up, 116 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: chopping on you, you stuf be and that salty. He 117 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:37,480 Speaker 1: just looked like the chef at the Waffa House. You 118 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,599 Speaker 1: could have hollowed your art to it. Hang up, Steve, 119 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:43,840 Speaker 1: hang on, we'll have part two of your response coming 120 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry 121 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,120 Speaker 1: Letters subject we started from the bottom, now we're here. 122 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening show, 123 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,719 Speaker 1: all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters 124 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,920 Speaker 1: subject and started for the bottom. Now we're here. This 125 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 1: letter is about three ignorant people. Twenty nine year old 126 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,839 Speaker 1: married woman married to a forty four year old man, 127 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: fell in love at twenty four and loved him right 128 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 1: away because she was just ready to move out of 129 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 1: mom's house. This is not love. This is a relationship. 130 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 1: Built on convenience, So you moved in with him, a 131 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 1: few months later he proposed to you. Then y'all hit 132 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: rock bottom. He lost the house after three months. If 133 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: you get married and lose a house, he was already 134 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: losing that house, all right, And we had to live 135 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: with my mother, and I was in hell all over again. 136 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: We got back on after he got apartment not far 137 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: from a mama's house, and your mama was giving you 138 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: money for basic things you needed. When you fail, short 139 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 1: husband didn't know about it. He confronted your mama, said, 140 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,640 Speaker 1: you're making me feel less than a man. She said 141 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 1: he was my husband, and mom didn't speak for months. 142 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:55,880 Speaker 1: That's what you think, that's what you thought. And then 143 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 1: you went by your mama's house. You saw your husband's 144 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:01,440 Speaker 1: calling there. I walked in, scrambling eggs in the kitchen. 145 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: He just in there. He just in the scrambling eggs, 146 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 1: and my mom was in the shower. So now, without 147 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 1: any discussion, you wouldn't pulling your mama out to shower, 148 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 1: and she tried to fight me. Now, I don't really 149 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 1: know what it is to be a woman, so I 150 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:19,360 Speaker 1: can't argue it, but I do know how hard it 151 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: is to fight Nick. I do know. I've tried it. 152 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,240 Speaker 1: I've tried it. You can't win that fight, nib So 153 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,320 Speaker 1: I wouldn't pull the mother out she tried to fight me. 154 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:35,439 Speaker 1: My husband and my mother set you down and told 155 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: her they've been messing around since they live with the mama. 156 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: My husband said he's only sleeping with my mother and 157 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 1: cooking for her because he owes her mother? How much 158 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:51,199 Speaker 1: did he though? Why I got to sleep with your mama? 159 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 1: Who the pains a lot on? You do know that 160 00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:04,720 Speaker 1: most people of mama looked like day. Most people's mama 161 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 1: look like they's somebody's mama. Yeah, so something happening here 162 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:13,000 Speaker 1: unless your mama is one of them exception to the rules. 163 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,560 Speaker 1: But if you and your mother's relationship ain't worth a 164 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 1: dog one and now your husband say he's sleeping with 165 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 1: her and cook because he owe her money, then your 166 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 1: mama tells you she happy to get it anyway she can. 167 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 1: So she said that to hurt you. See that hell 168 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 1: you was in at your mama's house. It's coming back now, 169 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: Shirley talking about forgive him eventually. I don't know. I 170 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: don't know what Shirley talking about ain'tybody couldn't let this though, 171 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,719 Speaker 1: But let me show you how stupid to let her get. 172 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 1: I have no positive female role model in my life, 173 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: and now I'm married to a man that sells his 174 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:51,440 Speaker 1: souls to get the bills pay. I have to put 175 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,960 Speaker 1: my husband out and he's staying with his brother. Are 176 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 1: you shoot? I don't think so. Are you shoot? Brother? 177 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 1: I'm not sure. He's been begging me to come back 178 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,319 Speaker 1: to our apartment. But I can't believe he failed for 179 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: my mother's schemes and we're sleeping with her. Wait a minute, 180 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:14,240 Speaker 1: how have you diverted all of this? And it's your mama? Fuck? 181 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,679 Speaker 1: I can't believe he failed for her schemes? What skin? 182 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 1: I don't know what scheme you're talking about. You want 183 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:32,559 Speaker 1: some of this? Huh? I'm gonna send your Valentine's called 184 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: check yes or no block. That's the last time I 185 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 1: called it. She's mama, You want to do that at all? 186 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:55,840 Speaker 1: Want some pudding? That's there's some good pudding too, this tapiocle? Yeah? 187 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 1: What you want to do? Now? You're sitting over there? 188 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:04,079 Speaker 1: What is your wainting out? Listen, I'm laying on the bed. 189 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,559 Speaker 1: What's on the floor. They missed my breast on the floor. 190 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 1: Oh my god, don't step on it when you're getting 191 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 1: the bed. M m well, waiting on you to rock 192 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:31,719 Speaker 1: my world? The visualist killing me? M M hit it, yr, sir, 193 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 1: your son. Now beat me like a pastor, teach me, 194 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:42,200 Speaker 1: do this, do this to me, make me sing? A hill? 195 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:51,080 Speaker 1: Look a hill all right here? Good lord boy? You 196 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 1: love it like a runaway? Why are you? Boy? Are 197 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:57,720 Speaker 1: you loving on me like you're going somewhere? Boy? You 198 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 1: you mustn't have your back to the river head north? 199 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:02,480 Speaker 1: What is from good loving? Right? He ain't had no 200 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 1: love like this? Shit is nat that Turner? That Turner 201 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 1: put on me one time? Him and Shatcher gotten the 202 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 1: fight over me. Shatcher page baseball play good love and 203 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 1: the negro leagues. Well it was hinted. He's just as 204 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,200 Speaker 1: damaged by her as I am. So I feel like 205 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 1: I need to be kind to him and give him 206 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,960 Speaker 1: a second chance. Hey, listen to me. You need to 207 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 1: get all these people out of your life, all these people. 208 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 1: Should I forgive him or not? No? No, because all 209 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: he gonna do is hurt you again. And as far 210 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: as your mama go, well, don't you can come, y'all 211 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:56,559 Speaker 1: want to stay here over keep him close. Ain't one 212 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 1: thing he show can't make some oke me, I ain't got. 213 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,080 Speaker 1: Leave your comments on today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey FM, 214 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming 215 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,439 Speaker 1: up next, we're gonna talk about Dubai. There's a big 216 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 1: like a bowl of grits, a big expo going on 217 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:18,000 Speaker 1: in Dubai. We'll talk about it right after this. You're 218 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 1: listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.