Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. If
Speaker 1: you thought four hours a day, minutes a week was enough,
Speaker 1: I think again. He's the last remnants of the old republic,
Speaker 1: a sole fashion of fairness. He treats crackheads in the
Speaker 1: ghetto cutter the same as the rich pill poppers in
Speaker 1: the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot takes break free
Speaker 1: for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts
Speaker 1: right now in the air everywhere. A good Saturday to you,
Speaker 1: and welcome to the latest red piping hot edition of
Speaker 1: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller. As we do this
Speaker 1: eight days a week because you idiots keep downloading. I
Speaker 1: was hoping the download numbers would go down and we
Speaker 1: could go back to doing it one or two days
Speaker 1: a week, but the numbers keep going up, and we
Speaker 1: thank you for that. And there's no advertising budget. It's
Speaker 1: all word of mouth. That's it. Word of mouth. It's
Speaker 1: a guerilla marketing campaign. It's working. Thank you, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. I love you and hate you at the
Speaker 1: same time. But keep it up. Four hours obviously not enough.
Speaker 1: And and the cool thing about the fifth hour is
Speaker 1: I would never be able to do an hour on
Speaker 1: politics and the election on the radio because I would
Speaker 1: be raked over the coals if I did that. But
Speaker 1: we did over an hour yesterday of content on the
Speaker 1: twenty election. If you missed it, go back and download that.
Speaker 1: But this is they spin off of the radio show.
Speaker 1: And as you know, because you found it available all
Speaker 1: over the I Heart podcast network and available wherever you
Speaker 1: get your podcast. And joined yet again by a man
Speaker 1: from west of the four oh five David, I know
Speaker 1: it's suppressing. David Gascon is making his way in there,
Speaker 1: the insufferable, intolerable, annoying David Guesc. I think, I think
Speaker 1: I'm fantastic. I understand you do, Yes, I do. I
Speaker 1: got a company email the other day that told me, congratulations,
Speaker 1: you have a company email. I never checked my company email.
Speaker 1: The funny thing is my boss, one of my bosses,
Speaker 1: will email me the company emails. He says, hey, I
Speaker 1: don't I know you don't check this, so here just
Speaker 1: to make sure my personal email. Yeah, I was. I
Speaker 1: was informed, like many of us were, that to keep
Speaker 1: your head on a swivel because during election week, police
Speaker 1: activity will rise because they expect some kind of civil
Speaker 1: unrest writing and protesting and whatnot. That's always nice when
Speaker 1: you have to worry about going to work because people
Speaker 1: don't like who was elected for a political party in
Speaker 1: an office. Well, the chaos of the world, right, the
Speaker 1: chaos of the world. Now. I hope there's no writing
Speaker 1: outside the home studio here at the mallar Ranchi, and
Speaker 1: I hope that everything's okay and there's no anarchy. No,
Speaker 1: you know, I think if it will be a mob rule,
Speaker 1: you don't think they'll be that or not where you live? Hostility,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think there's any I don't
Speaker 1: think there's many people that live where you live. You
Speaker 1: don't think there'll be a rebellion? No, not where you live.
Speaker 1: How concerned should I be that Doc Mike, he's gonna
Speaker 1: move to California for four months. Why he got hired
Speaker 1: as an advisor? Some family found Doc on the internet,
Speaker 1: apparently didn't read about him, and hired him to go
Speaker 1: help somebody in their family that's sick, and so they're
Speaker 1: gonna put him up room and board for like four months.
Speaker 1: Doc always leaves Chicago in the winter. He's not a dumb.
Speaker 1: He might be silly, but he's not dumb. And so
Speaker 1: he's gonna be out here, and he's like he's invited
Speaker 1: himself into the studio. And then I said, hey, Doc,
Speaker 1: I'm not actually at the studio anymore. I've got my
Speaker 1: home studio that I do the show from. So I
Speaker 1: with the remote studio and so um, and I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna tell you where I live. And then so Doc
Speaker 1: Doc pretty much implied that he's going to use GPS
Speaker 1: tracking to find out where I live, and he's going
Speaker 1: to come into the home studio and complete disobedience and
Speaker 1: he will lead an insurgency, Yeah, and rise into the
Speaker 1: studio to overtake the the microphones, a Blayton disregard to
Speaker 1: authority and uh and trying to have a hostile takeover
Speaker 1: of the show. Yeah, that's how concern. Should I be talk?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I wouldn't put it past. Yeah, you should be.
Speaker 1: I think I was reading a week or two ago
Speaker 1: about an NBC reporter that was using some some dark
Speaker 1: web tactics two docks individuals that were oh yeah, that
Speaker 1: was a great story, or contributing to the President Trump's
Speaker 1: re election campaign. She was actually doxing people that were
Speaker 1: contributing to intimidate them. Yeah, well we've seen all. I
Speaker 1: there was a story this week the other day about
Speaker 1: you know, trying to docks sports owners. Uh. Well they
Speaker 1: exposed them to expose who's spending money on Republicans and uh,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you saw that story, but it's amazing.
Speaker 1: People that own sports teams are wealthy and there they
Speaker 1: want to keep their money, and so they vote for
Speaker 1: they vote for Republicans. That's a shocking concept. It is
Speaker 1: odd though, because the players are all supposed to be
Speaker 1: the other side, right, the players vote one way, even
Speaker 1: though the players are all rich to no one, No
Speaker 1: one's poor in professional sports. There's not a single person
Speaker 1: in professional sports playing or owning a team that's poor.
Speaker 1: I'm still people that work for teams that are poor,
Speaker 1: but that's it. Yeah. I'm still waiting for someone to
Speaker 1: take a shot at Tiger Woods. But I don't think
Speaker 1: they're going to do that. No. No, Well, like we
Speaker 1: got Jack had that long email man, right, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: Jack Nicholas. Yeah, Jack Nicholas said the long long email
Speaker 1: the other day. Alright, so on this podcast, the guess
Speaker 1: because because we we spent a lot of time I
Speaker 1: don't know if you know this on the political podcast,
Speaker 1: and so everything is a certain amount of a lot
Speaker 1: of time. And then when that doesn't go well, we
Speaker 1: have to change it up a little bit. So on
Speaker 1: this podcast we've got the Pilot Blues and and edition
Speaker 1: to that pop quiz. Pop quiz sounds good. Keep it simple.
Speaker 1: Now you'll get excited about this. You can might have
Speaker 1: an orgasm. The Pilot Blues story, we go into the
Speaker 1: Mallard email bag, the fifth hour email address. This was
Speaker 1: sent in by a friend of West of the four
Speaker 1: oh five. I'm a pilot. Now normally I would not
Speaker 1: a lot a good amount of time to just an email.
Speaker 1: We did before with our biggest fan from Illinois that
Speaker 1: exposed the Bob Page controversy. We've also done it. We
Speaker 1: had remember the listener who our show helped them out
Speaker 1: and they were into a confrontation at a I think
Speaker 1: it was a Walmart or a Costco or something like that,
Speaker 1: and they, uh, the police came and they liked our
Speaker 1: show and so they kind of gave him a break
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. So a few times we've done it,
Speaker 1: but this is from I'm a pilot, and I thought
Speaker 1: it was interesting. I want to share it with everybody,
Speaker 1: and I hope he does not mind that I'm gonna
Speaker 1: read this a lot. I don't think he will. He
Speaker 1: didn't tell me not to use it, so I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna go forward, uh, he writes, And we'll stop throughout
Speaker 1: this and react. So he says, hey, guys, I just
Speaker 1: returned from my first trip back over to China. So
Speaker 1: he this guy goes all over the globe. You know
Speaker 1: more about him than I do, guest, but he goes
Speaker 1: all over the globe. He's an international pilot, so he's
Speaker 1: traveling the little Blue marble. Uh. And he says, guys,
Speaker 1: I just returned from my first trip back over to
Speaker 1: China since obviously the apocalypse. And let me tell you,
Speaker 1: things are a bit different now I'm a pilot, says.
Speaker 1: I will preface this by first saying, my company normally
Speaker 1: sends us pilots to pretty plush hotels for our stay.
Speaker 1: He says, it's typically a nice central downtown location, executive
Speaker 1: room and lounge, free food, drink, executive privileges, all the
Speaker 1: privileges included, etcetera. All the things that one would expect.
Speaker 1: I've seen this. So I've stayed at some hotels, nice
Speaker 1: hotels like in New York, and the pilots will come
Speaker 1: in from JFK and they'll stay there for a few
Speaker 1: hours and then go back to JFK. And uh, we
Speaker 1: we've witnessed that. But anyway, so he says, it's like
Speaker 1: that everywhere. Obviously that's how the work, the travel game goes. Uh,
Speaker 1: he says, those are all things that you would expect.
Speaker 1: We have pretty much free range to go to some
Speaker 1: nice restaurants or bars or go shopping. All right, now
Speaker 1: you're ready for the plot twist, Yes, he says, Well, brothers,
Speaker 1: that isn't the case anymore. I'm a pilot, says, I
Speaker 1: will give you the quick some nation of some nation,
Speaker 1: rather of our new Chinese government mandated procedures. So again,
Speaker 1: this is a guy fan of the show, fan of
Speaker 1: westvill four oh five, unfortunately, but he is giving his experience,
Speaker 1: having been to China many times over the years, the
Speaker 1: difference between the US and China and what's happened since
Speaker 1: the pandemic COVID nineteen coronavirus star. He says, upon arrival
Speaker 1: in China, we are greeted by two full Hasmatt wearing
Speaker 1: employees of company and quickly escorted through customs and immigration.
Speaker 1: Upon the way, we have our upon the way, we
Speaker 1: have a temperature check and it's checked a few times,
Speaker 1: and some paperwork is checked. They also checked our pre
Speaker 1: departure COVID test results. All right, next, but wait, there's more.
Speaker 1: Next we waited for two more hasmat wearing security officers
Speaker 1: to escort us from immigration to hotel which is attached
Speaker 1: to the airport. So again before staying at nice downtown hotels.
Speaker 1: And I don't know what city this is in, in China,
Speaker 1: Beijing or wherever, but now in a hotel, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: implying it's a shitty hotel that's attached to the airport.
Speaker 1: And I'm a pilot, says you enter and leave using
Speaker 1: back doors and orrvious elevators, so you're going through the kitchens.
Speaker 1: It's like sneaky when I was a kid. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I've told the story before. I was an
Speaker 1: autograph hound when I was a kid. I should I
Speaker 1: do a podcast on that sometimes. But one of my
Speaker 1: great accomplishments, the All Star Game, was in San Diego.
Speaker 1: This is back maybe in the early nineties, and we
Speaker 1: got tipped off because we had a network, this before
Speaker 1: social media and email, and we got tipped off that
Speaker 1: Joe di Maggio, the Great Joe di Maggio, was going
Speaker 1: to be at this hotel. Guy tipped this off, so
Speaker 1: we went. He was in town for an autograph show
Speaker 1: at the All Star Game. So we went to this
Speaker 1: hotel to get Joe DiMaggio's autograph. And keep in mind,
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I was, you know, a
Speaker 1: young guy, and but I was on my own at
Speaker 1: that time. And now I wasn't living on my own,
Speaker 1: but I made my way to San Diego. I wasn't
Speaker 1: working in San Diego. I was before I worked in
Speaker 1: San Diego. So I went to the hotel luxury hotel
Speaker 1: in San Diego and Otamaggio gets off. We spotted him.
Speaker 1: We said we were stalking the lobby. We spotted DiMaggio
Speaker 1: get off the main elevator, bank, make a quick left turn,
Speaker 1: walked right through the back the employee area, through the kitchen,
Speaker 1: and uh and dotted every kid, every kid, And we
Speaker 1: were so piste off. I was like, I spent hours
Speaker 1: in that hotel lobby and uh, you know, this magic
Speaker 1: had security and They went right through the kitchen, right
Speaker 1: through the area where they take the dirty linen's and
Speaker 1: they do the laundry. Wow, that's pretty damn good. So
Speaker 1: my my encounter with the Great Joe DiMaggio was to
Speaker 1: just see an old man with two big, burly security
Speaker 1: guards get out of an elevator and make a quick
Speaker 1: left turn into the service area of the hotel and
Speaker 1: through the kitchen. It's not even It's like almost not
Speaker 1: even worth it to fly out there, don't you think? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I actually wrote back, I said, I'm guess said you're
Speaker 1: I'm not done with the email, by the way, but
Speaker 1: I there's more to it. But I I wrote back,
Speaker 1: I said, I bet you wish you could have that
Speaker 1: Southwest Airlines from Dallas to Houston route now. And it's that,
Speaker 1: you know, all right? So the email continues again, this
Speaker 1: is very detailed. I wanted to give it it's proper time.
Speaker 1: Let it breathe a little bit. This is from our buddy,
Speaker 1: we Guestcon's buddy. I'm a pilot fan of the show,
Speaker 1: and so we told you what happens. He arrives in China,
Speaker 1: He's greeted by has Matt employ This is like out
Speaker 1: of a horror movie. So far, isn't it? And didn't
Speaker 1: flying into China especially right now? Yes, it is. If
Speaker 1: you were an alien from another planet and you came here,
Speaker 1: this is how you would be greeted by people, if
Speaker 1: we knew you were coming. This would be how you
Speaker 1: were remember wrong, not at all. I don't think I'm
Speaker 1: wrong all right, So, so far when we left off
Speaker 1: too full has matt wearing employees? Uh, you know, check
Speaker 1: the temperature paperwork, the whole thing, go to the hotel
Speaker 1: attached the airport, you and and leave using backdoors and
Speaker 1: service elevators. As we said, that led to my Joe DiMaggio,
Speaker 1: non sequitur um. Then here we go. Now I'm a pilot,
Speaker 1: says it gets fun. He says the hotel is staff
Speaker 1: with Chinese CDC personnel. Only to the only people at
Speaker 1: that are working at the hotel. They work for the
Speaker 1: Chinese c d C. And uh, he says, you have
Speaker 1: a temperature check, you fill out some more paperwork. What
Speaker 1: a nightmare? What a freaking nightmare? Uh, you fill more
Speaker 1: paperwork with your quarantine requirement procedures. And then he lists
Speaker 1: the quarantine requirement procedures. You want to hear these, yeah,
Speaker 1: give them to me, all right. Number you are not
Speaker 1: issued a room key. Now, why are you not issued
Speaker 1: a room key? Gascon by the Chinese CDC because if
Speaker 1: you have coronavirus you can transfer it onto said key. No,
Speaker 1: you are not given a room key because you are
Speaker 1: not allowed to leave your room for any reason, so
Speaker 1: you don't need a key. Welcome to China. Holy crap,
Speaker 1: all the are you serious? Is this real? We think
Speaker 1: it's real. We have no reason to not believe it.
Speaker 1: We know a little bit about I'm a Pilot. I
Speaker 1: don't know too much, but from everything we have been told,
Speaker 1: this is true. But wait, there's more, guest gun, you
Speaker 1: are then, according to I'm a Pilot Number two, you
Speaker 1: are escorted to your room by CDC staff and there
Speaker 1: are cameras. As it's pointed out here, this is China,
Speaker 1: and the hallways are monitored by the c d C personnel.
Speaker 1: Sound good? How hows that sounds so far? It sounds
Speaker 1: like him in boot camp? You Number three, you must
Speaker 1: check your temperature three times a day and record it
Speaker 1: on a form. Well you could lie about that, you
Speaker 1: could just write it down right? How do they they
Speaker 1: have cameras? In the room, they might do you have
Speaker 1: to put the thermometer up your ass? Is that required? Also?
Speaker 1: All right? Number four? No ordering any takeout food to
Speaker 1: be delivered not allowed? No, no door dash, no of that.
Speaker 1: You are given twenty disinfected tablets. Uh. And it's as
Speaker 1: tablets here, ten of which are supposed to be placed
Speaker 1: in a toilet prior to defecation. Oh, I see, so
Speaker 1: they're kind of okay. So they think that the Chinese
Speaker 1: government seems to think that just taking a ship that
Speaker 1: the coronavirus will get out in the air into the water,
Speaker 1: well maybe the water, but also in the air. And
Speaker 1: then yeah, that's interesting, that's interesting. Number six, the room
Speaker 1: is basic. Contains two full size beds, one of which
Speaker 1: has no sheets. That's that's nice. So they want you
Speaker 1: to sleep obviously the bed with the sheets. Of that.
Speaker 1: Number seven, you are given one sheet, two pillows, and
Speaker 1: a comforter. Comforter in the room. That's it. What if
Speaker 1: you call down? I wonder what happens if you say,
Speaker 1: can I get an extra pillow? How would that go?
Speaker 1: What if you want to bring in company, like a
Speaker 1: nice young lady to cuttle up with apparently not allowed? Uh?
Speaker 1: There is a there's a table outside the door, and
Speaker 1: inside a table and a chair and a small TV
Speaker 1: thto are smaller. There are eighteen channels. One of them
Speaker 1: is in English. It's a slight issue if you're you know,
Speaker 1: don't speak the native tongue in China, and you're they're
Speaker 1: hanging out a little bit of a problem. What do
Speaker 1: you think the English channel is CNN? Yeah, seeing an
Speaker 1: international just like Chinese state runs television, State sponsor television.
Speaker 1: All right, number nine, It gets better, It gets even better.
Speaker 1: You are issued one roll of toilet paper, one shower gel,
Speaker 1: one shampoo, conditioner, soap, and slippers. All right, Well that
Speaker 1: I might need a elextra toilet paper, but you know,
Speaker 1: I'm okay with one shower gel, one shampoo. That's that's
Speaker 1: not too bad. I don't think if I'm gonna if
Speaker 1: if I'm a pilot, I'm staying on the fucking plane.
Speaker 1: Just I'm not even deborting. I'm going in the first class.
Speaker 1: I'm just laying out. Yeah, that's why the planes he
Speaker 1: flies are I would guarantee more luxurious than this experience. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it flies like seven seventy seven and seven
Speaker 1: eight seven. Those things are huge. Number ten bathroom has
Speaker 1: two bath towels, one hand towel. Again, that to me
Speaker 1: is not that egregious. Of course, I've stayed at some
Speaker 1: fleabag hotels, so for me, it doesn't sound that bad.
Speaker 1: Sounds like my normal hotel. Meals. You want to hear
Speaker 1: how the meals go. Meals are served at six thirty
Speaker 1: thirty and seventeen hundred. Uh. They knock on the door
Speaker 1: right there, and they they placed the food on the
Speaker 1: table that they remember telling you there's tables outside the doors. Um,
Speaker 1: so I guess you're allowed to open the door and
Speaker 1: get the food out. This sounds like prison, right, Don't
Speaker 1: they do that in prison? They slide the cliche of
Speaker 1: the the the Hollywood trope of the prison where they
Speaker 1: slide the food under the prison door, right as we've
Speaker 1: all seen that in the movies, just like that iron
Speaker 1: tray that comes in and out. Yeah, exactly. Meals according
Speaker 1: to I'm a pilot, are these are Chinese meals? Your
Speaker 1: only crime so far is being a pilot and doing
Speaker 1: your job, And this is the way that you're treated
Speaker 1: by the Chinese government. Meals are are, They're hot, There's
Speaker 1: some kind of chewy meat, rice, bread, and vegetable. They
Speaker 1: come with two later bottles of water. One you can
Speaker 1: choose from a few options. All of them are pretty bland,
Speaker 1: according to to I'm a pilot, I'd probably like that.
Speaker 1: I like blond, bland food, so I'd probably be okay
Speaker 1: with that. Number thirteen. Again, the hold on, where is
Speaker 1: the upside of leaving the plane? Because you can go
Speaker 1: in the galley anything from the first class meal selection,
Speaker 1: they not let you stay on the plane. Is that
Speaker 1: the issue here? That's probably the problem because they have
Speaker 1: to bring the has met guys. Imagine what they're doing
Speaker 1: to the planes. This is what they're doing the people.
Speaker 1: Imagine what they're doing. The plays they knew them. Jeez
Speaker 1: all right. Number thirteen a number thirteen on the list.
Speaker 1: Breakfast is an English style omelet about that the Chinese
Speaker 1: lovely English style at sausage, potato, bread, beans, a cereal milk,
Speaker 1: orange banana muffin, and a two Leader bottle of water.
Speaker 1: That's not a lot of water. To Leader bottle water,
Speaker 1: it's not a lot of I like a lot of water.
Speaker 1: I'm a water drenker. I like my agua. Uh so, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it does sound like a great bread. I'm
Speaker 1: not breakfast guy. I fast. I would probably miss that meal.
Speaker 1: I would skip that meal. I'd like an extra Can
Speaker 1: you ask them for extra lunch and dinner? Could that?
Speaker 1: You know? Or just give me one big meal at
Speaker 1: much time? Probably not, but just imagine knowing this and
Speaker 1: taking that sixteen hour flight to go do it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. I got two more points. And this is
Speaker 1: our investigative reporter will call him, I'm a pilot, and
Speaker 1: we do thank you for this. It's a very detailed
Speaker 1: and I think it's good that we need to get
Speaker 1: this out. I've not heard this before, but I know
Speaker 1: his new information. He didn't have something better or different
Speaker 1: when he goes to like Europe or like I don't know, Indian.
Speaker 1: We look forward to hearing that story. But he also
Speaker 1: says number fourteen, the internet is spotty and very slow.
Speaker 1: Spotty and very slow and um guessing monitored. Right. The
Speaker 1: Chinese Internet much different, and I've I've heard that the
Speaker 1: good people of China have figured out the way. There's
Speaker 1: a work around and you you get a device on
Speaker 1: the on the internet, and it's called v p N VPN.
Speaker 1: Do you have a VPNA? How's that working? For you.
Speaker 1: It's good, it's cheap, it's not expensive. But how much
Speaker 1: does it cost? I paid fifteen bucks for it? Just
Speaker 1: that's it. Do you have to pay it every month? No?
Speaker 1: I got it from a buddy of mine. Can you
Speaker 1: hook a hook a guy up or something? You know
Speaker 1: what what I'm saying them if you knew somebody that
Speaker 1: might need a VPN, you know, might have used to
Speaker 1: have one that doesn't have one. I mean, just for
Speaker 1: an entire year for a link to NFL games, and
Speaker 1: you tell me to kiss your ass. How about this,
Speaker 1: Let's negotiate. Let's make a deal. You hook me up
Speaker 1: with your guy. One time fee fifteen bucks. I'll even
Speaker 1: pay him twenty Okay, I'm generous. I will give you
Speaker 1: the mother of all links. I will give you the great,
Speaker 1: the single link to unlock any sporting event you've ever
Speaker 1: wanted to watch globally, really for free. You have a firestick? No?
Speaker 1: Are you sure? I don't? All right, it sounds like
Speaker 1: you've a firestick. No, this is what this is web based.
Speaker 1: This is not that's web based, all right. It is
Speaker 1: game changing, It is life changing. It is so good
Speaker 1: that only a few people know about it. I'm one
Speaker 1: of them. That's how good. That's how good it is. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's all I will say. And I can say that
Speaker 1: because I was told that the people using said website
Speaker 1: are not in any kind of criminal danger. The people
Speaker 1: who run the website are the ones that are in
Speaker 1: some trouble. Yes, yes, that's the that's my offer, guest,
Speaker 1: and that is my offer. I will give you the
Speaker 1: Holy Grail, the Holy Grail, and in return VPN. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's done. It's funny you say that because the same
Speaker 1: guy that I just mentioned, he was getting monitored by
Speaker 1: the FBI and and they actually set him shut down
Speaker 1: orders because he has like a bunch of towers in
Speaker 1: his place are used to anyway, and they would shut
Speaker 1: and he'd they were told or he was told to
Speaker 1: shut down his towers. Really, yeah, this is like back
Speaker 1: and like the the pirrating days of like piroting stuff.
Speaker 1: So the VPN is awesome because you can go and
Speaker 1: even though you're in the same location, you can the Internet.
Speaker 1: You can convince the Internet that you're in a different
Speaker 1: Look you say you're in New York, you can say
Speaker 1: you're in California. Or certain things are blocked from viewing
Speaker 1: in America, but if you're in Europe you can watch
Speaker 1: a lot of people do this to watch Netflix, because
Speaker 1: Netflix has different programming depending on which country you're in.
Speaker 1: Even YouTube, like if you go to YouTube videos here
Speaker 1: in the States, there could be some internationally that you
Speaker 1: can't watch because of the permissions. Now, I just want
Speaker 1: to go for the record. You should not do this.
Speaker 1: It's wrong to do this. It's inappropriate to do this.
Speaker 1: You should not do it. It's immoral. You might go
Speaker 1: to hell. Don't do it. But if you do do it,
Speaker 1: let us know how to work. All right, last point
Speaker 1: from I'm a pilot. This very detailed message, he says, Uh.
Speaker 1: The final message. You get a knock thirty minutes before
Speaker 1: your schedule time to depart, to leave the hotel, you
Speaker 1: are escorted back, your temp is checked at various times,
Speaker 1: and paperwork again is filed and is checked. He did
Speaker 1: finish it by saying, thank goodness, I had downloaded your
Speaker 1: podcast as they kept me entertained along with Netflix. Never
Speaker 1: enjoyed my own bed. More signed I'm a pilot. That guy.
Speaker 1: That's a good email. Good job by you. I'm a pilot.
Speaker 1: You know I've I've been a critic of your work there, sir,
Speaker 1: that he took a good job by you, but he
Speaker 1: took your advice. He journaled everything during his trip. Yes,
Speaker 1: thank you. That's great. Have not heard this anywhere. I've
Speaker 1: not read this anywhere that this is how our pilots
Speaker 1: are being treated and and the people who work in
Speaker 1: the airline industry when they go to China. Oh man,
Speaker 1: what if you're just doing business there? Same thing, I
Speaker 1: would think, right, something similar You're gonna been quarantined for.
Speaker 1: So the question is this is this just a communist
Speaker 1: country flexing its muscle, or since this virus is believed
Speaker 1: to have started in China, and there's some conspiracies that
Speaker 1: it was from a lab in Wuhan, China, is there
Speaker 1: a chance that they know more about this than we
Speaker 1: do and that this is actually how you're supposed to
Speaker 1: be handling this. I think it's both. I think there's
Speaker 1: both a little bit of both. I think a lot
Speaker 1: of both. You don't think so, Yeah, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: wrap my head around it. I've read this email a
Speaker 1: couple of times. Obviously I had the advantage of reading
Speaker 1: it because he sent it to us a few days ago,
Speaker 1: and I just get ready for the podcast, and I
Speaker 1: saw it. I said, we got to talk about this
Speaker 1: um to put the toilet the disinfectant tablets, and the
Speaker 1: toilet got my attention, Like if you have coronas your
Speaker 1: ship so lethal that it gets in the water supply,
Speaker 1: and I mean it's just that that part kind of
Speaker 1: opened my eyes. The hotel key got me, Well, that's
Speaker 1: just a dick move by the hotel. That's just that's
Speaker 1: just Hey, we're common is China and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: funky as essentially right, I mean, as as of when
Speaker 1: we recorded this podcast, China ranked fifty five globally amongst
Speaker 1: the entire world with coronavirus cases. Well, as President Trump said,
Speaker 1: the numbers might be askewed a little bit right, maybe
Speaker 1: a little bit askewed there. And so the intent for
Speaker 1: them is obviously a dictator and that regime and then
Speaker 1: on top of that the bully of the Chinese just
Speaker 1: locking people down because they hand and they don't want
Speaker 1: this to get out anywhere else. But yeah, I mean, listen,
Speaker 1: it's a time like their GDP has risen, like they
Speaker 1: haven't had many falls for the United States in the
Speaker 1: world has of the last couple of quarters, well, It's
Speaker 1: also a good way to get some street cred. You know,
Speaker 1: we're ruthless, we're heartless, were barbaric, don't come to China.
Speaker 1: This is like just like the old school days of
Speaker 1: people going into the Philadelphia Spectrum and being worried about
Speaker 1: getting their ass kicked up the no veteran stadium, man, then,
Speaker 1: and the first it's a great trivia question. You know
Speaker 1: this though. The first stadium to have a police precinct
Speaker 1: was Veteran Stadium, the VET in Philadelphia because guys like
Speaker 1: Fats in Philly would come in there with baseball bats
Speaker 1: and bloody knuckles and uh was it the seven hundred level?
Speaker 1: What was it called the upper deck? And at the Vet. Oh,
Speaker 1: I've heard stories about that. My god, the stories I've heard.
Speaker 1: I don't know how many of them are true, and
Speaker 1: how many of them are embellished in their fish stories.
Speaker 1: But man, oh man, it was like Sodom and Gomorra
Speaker 1: right out of the Bible seven level. It's yeah, that
Speaker 1: was after after COVID breaks up and after we get
Speaker 1: this thing closed with we can it happen soon? Does
Speaker 1: it happen next week? Guest contest in next maybe? Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe after November three. I don't know we need to
Speaker 1: go to I think it'd be appropriate to go on
Speaker 1: a on a trip with I'm a Pilot, maybe to
Speaker 1: like Amsterdam or like Barcelona. Well, my wife would love that.
Speaker 1: She's got family not an Amsterdam, but not far away
Speaker 1: from there, and that would be a dream come true.
Speaker 1: So that would be that would be cool. You'd love Amsterdam.
Speaker 1: Amsterdam is fucking awesome, right too. I don't think my
Speaker 1: wife would let me actually enjoy the red light district,
Speaker 1: but I can window shop, right, I mean you can.
Speaker 1: I think your wife would enjoy the red light Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: she's a little more loose, uh with her you know,
Speaker 1: going out having a good time than I am. I'm
Speaker 1: a little more button up when it comes to that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And she likes sweets. I could see
Speaker 1: her picking like cookies in the brownies, like the special
Speaker 1: magical ones. You gotta be a little careful because of
Speaker 1: her job, but maybe my mistake. You know, it's as
Speaker 1: long as it's gluten free, don't you know. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: thanks to I Am a Pilot, great job. This is
Speaker 1: the kind of content we'd love for this podcast. So
Speaker 1: if you're a p one, if you're a big fan.
Speaker 1: You have a kind of a job that you can
Speaker 1: give us some inside information. Well, we won't use your
Speaker 1: name if you don't want us to use your name.
Speaker 1: Will protect the guilty or protect the innocent, um, but
Speaker 1: send us an email and and it's it's really cool
Speaker 1: that I'm a pilot did this. And the email address
Speaker 1: for the show is very very simple. It's Real fifth
Speaker 1: Hour at gmail dot com. Or you can email me
Speaker 1: at just Ben Maller at at gmail dot or Ben
Speaker 1: Mallor Show at gmail dot com. Bet mallor Show at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com or Real fifth Hour at a gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. In the story that you think we'd like,
Speaker 1: maybe we'll use I can't guarantee we're gonna use it,
Speaker 1: but think about us. All right, you can break some news.
Speaker 1: This is a story I had not heard anything about.
Speaker 1: We've had some good ones. We had your doctor on
Speaker 1: the East coast. Yes, we had that's great, that was right.
Speaker 1: The guy was he? Forget which state? Not really important,
Speaker 1: but yes, south Carolina. I think it was in South Carolina.
Speaker 1: I think so. We had him, and then my buddy
Speaker 1: in Ireland, um my buddy calling from Dublin. And then
Speaker 1: obviously I'm a pilot who was overseas in the People's
Speaker 1: Republic of China, breaking news on the fifth hour. All right,
Speaker 1: we have pop quiz. You want to do pop quiz?
Speaker 1: Go a few pop quiz here would go. These are
Speaker 1: actual quiz questions found around the internet. I will quiz guest.
Speaker 1: Go on, and I will quiz you as well. All Right,
Speaker 1: here we go. H Nearly a third of mothers admit
Speaker 1: that when they were in a jam, they have done
Speaker 1: this to their kid. Um in a jam, they've left
Speaker 1: their kids in the car. What why would you leave
Speaker 1: your kid in the car if you're in your jam,
Speaker 1: I don't know. No, it's borrow money from their piggy bank.
Speaker 1: M that's flame. It's a dick move, but it's the
Speaker 1: perfect move. But because kids don't really realize how much
Speaker 1: money they have until a certain age, so below a
Speaker 1: certain age you can get away with it. It's the
Speaker 1: perfect crime. See I did the reverse when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, and he would steal from your dad's piggy Yeah.
Speaker 1: But see, this is the worst part about it is
Speaker 1: you know, I feel I feel bad about it, and
Speaker 1: obviously more so now than when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: But my dad and my mom would keep old school
Speaker 1: coins and old school bills, in particular two dollar bills,
Speaker 1: and I would use the two dollar bills. Oh, my
Speaker 1: dad is the same. My dad loves the two dollar bill.
Speaker 1: He has like an orgasm when he goes to the
Speaker 1: store and pays with it. He doesn't usually pay with it,
Speaker 1: but sometimes I'll go to the store and try to
Speaker 1: pay with the two dollar bill. Because so many people
Speaker 1: under a certain age, and these are people that work
Speaker 1: at like Trader Joe's or you know, Target, they don't know,
Speaker 1: they've never seen. They think it's counterfeit. They think it's fake. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a good bill. It is solid. You gotta go
Speaker 1: to the bank and ask, can I get a couple
Speaker 1: of two dollar bills? Can I get a couple of
Speaker 1: two dollar bills? Do you have? I think get the
Speaker 1: order of those? Don't you? Maybe now you do. But
Speaker 1: when I was younger, you just could go into the
Speaker 1: bank and they, you know, sometimes they'd have them and
Speaker 1: they get him out. Uh. The other thing is if
Speaker 1: you keep like old the old twenty dollar bills, they
Speaker 1: think those are counterfeit. Like if you have money laying
Speaker 1: around as old and I found uh, I don't a
Speaker 1: lot of gambling money that I had buried in a
Speaker 1: bag and I went to pay, and I had the
Speaker 1: old style twenty dollar bills and they they looked that
Speaker 1: thing over. They had a magnifying glass out. They were like, oh,
Speaker 1: what is this? The writing on this was different. Well,
Speaker 1: it's just even bad when you go to Vegas now
Speaker 1: and you go to the casinos and they mark your
Speaker 1: bills with a with a highlighter. That sucks. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: a that's a dick move, all right. Another pop quo question.
Speaker 1: A new survey asked people how they have kept their
Speaker 1: mind sharp during the pandemic. Thirty six percent of people
Speaker 1: said this, and I am in this thirty six percent,
Speaker 1: gescoun that's your clue. I am part of this thirty
Speaker 1: six percent of people that have done this to keep
Speaker 1: their mind sharp. So it's either fasting or exercising. I'll
Speaker 1: go with fasting. No, none of the above. None of
Speaker 1: the above. Watching documentaries, watching documentary. I don't feel good
Speaker 1: watching a documentary unless they talk to somebody else about it,
Speaker 1: because then I don't retain it as much. That makes sense, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I I with my wife. That's kind of thing. We
Speaker 1: we watched. That's our neutral ground because she doesn't really
Speaker 1: like sports that much and I don't really like the
Speaker 1: ship that she likes, so that's the middle ground. Like
Speaker 1: we both enjoy learning random things from documentaries. And I
Speaker 1: understand all documentaries are biased because we were made the
Speaker 1: documentary is uh, you know, has has biased. We all
Speaker 1: have bias based on our background and or upbringing all that.
Speaker 1: But the one I've been watching, which I'm upset with
Speaker 1: and I love it, it was from last year. It's
Speaker 1: the country music documentary on PBS. And I'm not even
Speaker 1: like a big country music fan. I've actually become more
Speaker 1: of a country music fan watching this, and I like
Speaker 1: some of the early country music musicians, which I'm shocked by.
Speaker 1: And young Ben would say, what the fund is wrong
Speaker 1: with old Ben? But but no, it's good stuff. It's
Speaker 1: good music. And but the reason I was told to
Speaker 1: watch it by a friend of mine was it they
Speaker 1: said that you'll be amazed at how radio and country
Speaker 1: music were in bed with each other the early days
Speaker 1: of radio in America, and how they were side by side,
Speaker 1: and the popularity of radio was tied to country music,
Speaker 1: and the popularity of country music was tied to radio.
Speaker 1: It's like the Hillbillies and the some of these early episodes.
Speaker 1: It was crazy like radio stations uh ws, b uh we,
Speaker 1: Southern Boys was what it was. It was what it
Speaker 1: was called. But it was all like country music stuff.
Speaker 1: And they in the early days of radio, they would
Speaker 1: hire hands to live in the city where the radio
Speaker 1: station was and just performed nightly. They'd have shows at
Speaker 1: like nine o'clock at night every night. Um, big acts
Speaker 1: would perform and they'd be tied to the radio station.
Speaker 1: That's pretty solid. I mean, we have some of them
Speaker 1: with I Heeart, Like we have a performance studio in Burbank. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that's like come in once a time and once
Speaker 1: in a while. This was every night or every Saturday night.
Speaker 1: In fact, in Nashville, they at Opera Land that they
Speaker 1: had all the big that was like the biggest spot
Speaker 1: in the world. And that station was in the early
Speaker 1: days of radio, went from coast to coast. You could
Speaker 1: hear Opery Land performances country music from coast to coast.
Speaker 1: That's owing. And I worked at the Mighty six Nighty
Speaker 1: in San Diego, which was a border blaster station, and
Speaker 1: they that was the same concept of it was a
Speaker 1: little bit later after country music. Um, but that was
Speaker 1: where Wolfman Jack had worked the You know, nobody knows
Speaker 1: who that is anymore, but a legendary DJ. If you're
Speaker 1: a radio nerd like me, that's a big deal. I
Speaker 1: remember when I worked. I walked in the hallways at
Speaker 1: the Mighty for the first time, and I was excited
Speaker 1: because I got to work with hacks On. It was
Speaker 1: a big deal. But I saw they had a photo
Speaker 1: of hacks of not Hacksa, but of of the legendary
Speaker 1: DJ there. I was like, oh my god, wolf Man Jack.
Speaker 1: I mean, because I heard story he had this really
Speaker 1: gravelly kinda you know, it's hard to describe, but I
Speaker 1: think they parodied him. Uh. They did a parody of
Speaker 1: him in the Simpsons one time in the early Simpsons.
Speaker 1: But anyway, he passed away a long time ago, but
Speaker 1: it was kind of cool. But that was a border
Speaker 1: Blaster station, So you should check that out if you
Speaker 1: have time. It's a very long I've only gotten through
Speaker 1: like the first four episodes. I still have a lot
Speaker 1: to get through, but I only watched these on the weekend,
Speaker 1: so it's gonna take me probably the rest of the
Speaker 1: damn year to get through these documentaries because like sixteen
Speaker 1: hours of documentaries. I think I've made it through four
Speaker 1: hours so far. But it's good. It's really good. And
Speaker 1: I don't know how much I'm gonna like the last
Speaker 1: few because I like the early ones because mostly about radio.
Speaker 1: I think the further on it gets away from that
Speaker 1: because the radio business aged. And to think though, this
Speaker 1: makes me feel good that I've done night radio mostly.
Speaker 1: I did a mid day, the mornings a little bit,
Speaker 1: but mostly nights and overnights. The early days of radio
Speaker 1: value like eight and nine o'clock at night. Now it's
Speaker 1: about six am to six pm. After that doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: It's irrelevant. They don't care. They spit on your radio
Speaker 1: if you're on any other time than six am to
Speaker 1: six pm. How does that it feel? It feels good now,
Speaker 1: getting like getting spit on? All right, Uh, let's see
Speaker 1: what's next. Al Right, we did the documentaries. According to
Speaker 1: a new survey, two thirds of people who are working
Speaker 1: remotely right now say there are things they miss about
Speaker 1: the office. What was the thing they missed most? Free food? Uh? No,
Speaker 1: being face to face with other people. I don't miss
Speaker 1: that at all. Actually, one of the reasons of my
Speaker 1: life has improved. Is I'm not face to face with
Speaker 1: other people in a asshole. Oh my god, kidding, calm down, cheese,
Speaker 1: You're not kidding. I'm kidding. I am kidding. I am kidding.
Speaker 1: I I got this. I got this triggering text a
Speaker 1: couple of days ago from a colleague of ours who
Speaker 1: was a producer and he produces Between Fox and I
Speaker 1: Heart Los Angeles. Ben. He sent me a picture, not
Speaker 1: of a vending machine. He sent me a picture of
Speaker 1: a refrigerator that looked like a vending machine, but it
Speaker 1: was free for all the employees. Where this I heart
Speaker 1: l A Heart Burbank, are you shipping me? Really? The refrigerator, Ben,
Speaker 1: a kid, you not was stocked with ice cream, chicken,
Speaker 1: ice cream, sandwiches, Snickers, ice cream bars, like all these desserts.
Speaker 1: I was just like, what the fuck is this? He says,
Speaker 1: it's stocked all the time for us. Nothing that would
Speaker 1: get it from you know. I worked at EI and
Speaker 1: they brought me back there a few times to these
Speaker 1: shows and they went to the cafeteria and I was immediately,
Speaker 1: what's what's the cafetal? Like, who cares? What? What kind
Speaker 1: of food do they have? And so I go in
Speaker 1: the cafe too, and they had it looked like, um,
Speaker 1: like a Quickie mark set up in the cafeteria, and
Speaker 1: I was like, holy crap is And then somebody pointed out,
Speaker 1: it's it's not free. It's the honor system. They say
Speaker 1: it's the honor system though, but at Intercom Boston they
Speaker 1: had a camera on on on the food. So it's
Speaker 1: the honor system. But if people aren't paying, I think
Speaker 1: they're gonna go back to the videotape as Warner Wolf that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but they had everything, but you had it was cheap,
Speaker 1: you know. It's kind of like when I first went
Speaker 1: to Yankee Stadium, the old Yankee Stadium in the nineties,
Speaker 1: and I went to the press box. The food was
Speaker 1: not free, but you could get a hot dog for
Speaker 1: like a dollar and a pretzel for fifty cents. It
Speaker 1: was that kind of thing. So the food was a
Speaker 1: little cheaper than normal, but he still had to pay
Speaker 1: for all. Right, we don't we we don't. We don't
Speaker 1: get that. Although they didn't put a vending machine, which
Speaker 1: was a big accomplishment. That was a big accomplishment that
Speaker 1: took seventeen eighteen years before the company put a vending
Speaker 1: machine in where we all worked. En, we don't. We
Speaker 1: don't just have a kitchen that is right out of
Speaker 1: the Smurfs. That is a Smurf kitchen. I love it.
Speaker 1: I love the Smurfs when I was a kid. Alright, forty,
Speaker 1: are you eating? By the way, I guess gonna sounds
Speaker 1: like you're eating? I heard chewing, because that would be
Speaker 1: a really schmucky move to eat while we're doing the
Speaker 1: I was eating, I ate before we started this thing. Well,
Speaker 1: maybe you're eating again. Maybe you're a big fatty and
Speaker 1: you're eating. I'm a big fatty, but I'm not eating again. Alright.
Speaker 1: Couples do this together before getting married. What is it?
Speaker 1: Buy a house? That's the same train of thought. Not
Speaker 1: a house, It's something smaller than a house, but something
Speaker 1: that this. Many women use this as a test to
Speaker 1: find out if a man is worthy. This is very
Speaker 1: important to women. This is I'm generalizing and I am stereotyping,
Speaker 1: but I think I'm right. I think this This cuts
Speaker 1: across all ethnicities. All yeah, all of that doesn't matter
Speaker 1: your ethnic background. I think all women are wired the
Speaker 1: same way. Generally. When when there's an even um guy guys,
Speaker 1: how about that you just throw me a curveball. I
Speaker 1: don't know, get a pet together? Fuck right? They don't.
Speaker 1: My buddy of mine when I was in college, he
Speaker 1: told me, he says, be be worried when the woman
Speaker 1: wants to get a dog or a cat with you.
Speaker 1: That is a test to see if you're if your
Speaker 1: father material. How you take care of the pet is
Speaker 1: how you're gonna take care of your kid, and and
Speaker 1: so they before they you know, the women have your child,
Speaker 1: they want to know that you're gonna be able to
Speaker 1: handle a pet. It's good, alright. Four of people admit
Speaker 1: to hitting this while driving. What is it? Stirring wheel
Speaker 1: or horn? No, that's something you hit like with your car. Oh,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like I hit my horn when
Speaker 1: I um so your horny? When you drive yourn hit
Speaker 1: the curb. No, they hit a toll booth. What How's that?
Speaker 1: You not? I don't. It can't be fourteen percent? Is there? That?
Speaker 1: Is that a big pandemic where people are taking down
Speaker 1: toll booth? I remember I was on the New York
Speaker 1: Expressway driving overnight one time and I stopped at the too.
Speaker 1: I've told the story before, but this guy that was
Speaker 1: the toll booth operator. I am convinced that he was
Speaker 1: not actually human. He was like a zombie or he
Speaker 1: was like an alien from it was like men in black,
Speaker 1: that kind of thing. And I expected him to like
Speaker 1: rip the skin off and become something else. It was wild.
Speaker 1: But I never hit a toll booth. I did it
Speaker 1: when I was in when I was in Boston. I
Speaker 1: have a couple of toll booster I did the one
Speaker 1: in upstate New York, but Boston. My guy Vinny, the
Speaker 1: Great Vinnie, in Boston, we were going over one of
Speaker 1: the bridges there in Boston there was a told told
Speaker 1: booth and he told me, he said, go to I
Speaker 1: think it was like lane seven or something. I forget
Speaker 1: which number, but he said, go to that, go to
Speaker 1: that lane. I said, what the Leney, what the video?
Speaker 1: I said, who the who the funk? Cares Vinnie? I mean,
Speaker 1: they're all the same. Not not to go over there.
Speaker 1: I know a guy. So we go to the toll
Speaker 1: booth and the guy Vinny pops his head out of
Speaker 1: the back window you know, you know, someone smilling, and
Speaker 1: he then proceeds to give him the fake handshake where
Speaker 1: he slipped him, pretends like he's slipping him the money, toll,
Speaker 1: booth goes up, gate goes up, We go through not
Speaker 1: having to pay the toll. Okay, so this is something relatable,
Speaker 1: but it's a little bit different. But you know this
Speaker 1: being living in in l a like late at night
Speaker 1: drive throughs are some of the hardest curbs to turn. Yes,
Speaker 1: that is true. At the jack in the box, when
Speaker 1: you're making a foodie run, it's a problem. It is
Speaker 1: a I agree, no, no, no disagreement. There no lies detected,
Speaker 1: No lies detected at all. Man, all right. One in
Speaker 1: eight women admit they get annoyed when they meet a
Speaker 1: woman who has this do do do Do Do Do
Speaker 1: do do botox? Uh, No, it is incorrect. Twelve point
Speaker 1: five percent of women are annoyed when they meet a
Speaker 1: woman that has the same name they have what I
Speaker 1: would have fought the same outfit, because don't women usually
Speaker 1: get a little caddy. It's a higher percentage. Yeah, probably,
Speaker 1: I don't care. I I I feel a bond. When
Speaker 1: guys call up named band, I'm like, look another band.
Speaker 1: He's lived the same life I've had with Ben. Uh
Speaker 1: you know, I feel good. I'm happy about there's a
Speaker 1: lot of people named David. How do you feel about
Speaker 1: other people named David. It's a good name, it's a
Speaker 1: great name. That's a better name. Ben Trump's David not
Speaker 1: in the Bible's evil Laughez. You're making the great, the great.
Speaker 1: Ben's so many great Ben, Ben Roethlisberger. Benjamin Franklin. That's right,
Speaker 1: he's probably a goat. Right, Ben Gordon NBA player, Great Ben,
Speaker 1: you know, solid guy, good career. Ben Ogilvie, baseball player
Speaker 1: for the Brewers back in the eighties. Good Ben, Ben
Speaker 1: McDonald picture for the Oriels. A lot of Bens sneaky,
Speaker 1: good name, Ben sneaky, Ben Watson, tight end. Come on, Patriots,
Speaker 1: super Bowl winner champion name Ben alright of us have
Speaker 1: accidentally dropped our phone into this to no beer, I've
Speaker 1: never done that, not yet. Life's not over. Still time,
Speaker 1: still time to doing Hold on? Why would I've dropped
Speaker 1: my phone in beer? Though? Well, I don't know. You're
Speaker 1: drinking a beer, you're at the bar, you got the
Speaker 1: beer mug in front of you, and you're holding your
Speaker 1: phone looking at social media and looking at an ass
Speaker 1: model on Instagram. And then the next thing you know
Speaker 1: it slips and there you going noo. How do these
Speaker 1: ass models make so much money? I looked up somebody
Speaker 1: sent me a link to some guy in the Miami
Speaker 1: Heat that was dating some Instagram models, So I I
Speaker 1: was like, how do they make money? I looked it up.
Speaker 1: She's worth like five million dollars. Oh she does is
Speaker 1: bend over tables and you know, you shove her tushy
Speaker 1: in your face and she makes fun. How is that possible? How?
Speaker 1: I don't see any advertising? How did I'm seriously, how
Speaker 1: do they make money? Well? She holds up the little
Speaker 1: shake the who's buying that? No one's buying there. They're
Speaker 1: looking at her, ask they're not buying the drink. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're buying the clicks or they get paid up front.
Speaker 1: Though that's the other thing too, what a scam. It's
Speaker 1: good though, good for them, good for the ladies. But
Speaker 1: I mean, but who, but who comes out on top?
Speaker 1: Is it them or is the plastic surgeons here in
Speaker 1: l A. Oh? Yeah, because that's the revolving industry. You
Speaker 1: talk about buying an iPhone seven and having to buy
Speaker 1: a new one within a year or two, that's the
Speaker 1: same thing. Yeah, they have It's the key thing in
Speaker 1: any business is to get a monthly payment plan. If
Speaker 1: you're a plastic surgeon, you pretty much have that because
Speaker 1: you've gotta have some maintenance done on your your botox
Speaker 1: or your your ass implants or your boomin playing. You
Speaker 1: gotta have that stuff upgrading. I mean, I've seen I've
Speaker 1: seen women using P E D s now, Is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like I see, like you could tell what kind of
Speaker 1: what kind of women are you dating? Man? But the
Speaker 1: fitness models, like when they're when they're showing less than
Speaker 1: ten percent in body fat and they're well into their
Speaker 1: thirties and forties, I'm fucking sorry, you're not pumping out
Speaker 1: too sto stone like a volume anyway, And like that,
Speaker 1: I just had a developing take here. Could you imagine you?
Speaker 1: Could you imagine if they called then Congress called in
Speaker 1: the Instagram booty models like they did the baseball players.
Speaker 1: Did you have acid plants? I have never, And you
Speaker 1: could have some woman wearing spandex pointing at I have
Speaker 1: never had acid plants. Ever, how great would that be?
Speaker 1: Four inch long fingernails. Yes, that's exactly exactly covered in
Speaker 1: makeup on the whole thing. Oh that would be wonderful. God,
Speaker 1: that would be great. That would be a good parody.
Speaker 1: Skin and they still did comedy. If they did comedy,
Speaker 1: that would be a good bit. Oh, that would be funny,
Speaker 1: all right. When it comes to surprise gift gifting giving,
Speaker 1: fifty of moms admit that they have done this. M m.
Speaker 1: They've used old gifts. No, they have forgotten where they
Speaker 1: hid the gifts. Interesting. This is like the reason there's
Speaker 1: hidden treasure, right that people hide things and then they
Speaker 1: forget exactly where they put the thing of gold bars.
Speaker 1: And that's why. Yeah, it's called the treasure hunt. Um,
Speaker 1: we we've done that here. My wife has put stuff
Speaker 1: away and then completely forgotten where it is, and then
Speaker 1: we have to go buy new We have to buy
Speaker 1: that stuff again. When I was a kid, I used
Speaker 1: to love Easter egg hunts of my uncle. My uncle's
Speaker 1: six ft four and he was he is creative, and
Speaker 1: he would hide the eggs and the eggs would either
Speaker 1: have like a dollar in it, five bucks, twenty dollars
Speaker 1: or candy in it. And he'd hide these eggs all
Speaker 1: over my ground, my grandmother's house outside, up in the trees,
Speaker 1: on top of a trailer. He was really creative. I
Speaker 1: was used to love those. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: The well we we didn't have growing up Jewish, I
Speaker 1: was in being Jewish. We didn't have that, but we
Speaker 1: had the the what's it called, boy, I'm having a
Speaker 1: the Offie Coleman. I believe that's it. And and we
Speaker 1: would have to hide that, which is like the Jewish
Speaker 1: version of the Easter egg. And then the kids would
Speaker 1: run through the house and try to find the Afie Coleman.
Speaker 1: Where did you hide the Offie Coleman? And uh And
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, I beat my bro I got
Speaker 1: two brothers. I beat him most of the time. I
Speaker 1: was good at that. I was good at that. I
Speaker 1: was able to find the Afie Coleman. I was loser.
Speaker 1: Leaves California, you know, the winner California. What are you
Speaker 1: talking about? They both went to states, so they're like California.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, I don't know how they won that,
Speaker 1: at least politically, they're like California. Um man, all right.
Speaker 1: The older people get, the less likely they are to
Speaker 1: do this. Mm hmmm um shave no procrastinate, you know,
Speaker 1: take time doing stuff. The older you get, yes, stuff done.
Speaker 1: Oh I procrastinate like no other I have heard about that.
Speaker 1: I know when it comes to booking certain people on
Speaker 1: the podcast, it's uh, get to it, get to it
Speaker 1: like a like a famous man once told me pro bo, no,
Speaker 1: you're getting my leftovers. I don't know who your your
Speaker 1: your name is your product? I mean, my god. I
Speaker 1: well as you told me that, the great me, I
Speaker 1: don't know what I know. I would never you have
Speaker 1: no proof of that. I've never said my name is
Speaker 1: not on the marquees, so I did not have to worry.
Speaker 1: That is true that I have told you that. That
Speaker 1: is absolutely true. Nearly ten percent of pet owners admit
Speaker 1: doing this, even though it's something that most people would
Speaker 1: think is gross. Um eating their dog food or eating
Speaker 1: their pets food. Yes, taste testing their dog food. Well
Speaker 1: with with Bella, do you actually give her dog food
Speaker 1: or do you give her food that you guys would eat? Know,
Speaker 1: we we have dog food for her to eat. She
Speaker 1: does not like the dog food. She prefers to give
Speaker 1: us puppy dog eyes and beg whenever I'm eating, and
Speaker 1: which is not very often, thank god. But yeah, she
Speaker 1: knows how to work the room. Yeah, my sister who
Speaker 1: knows how to work at room. One of my sisters
Speaker 1: cooks up a good, a good little dinner for for
Speaker 1: her dog. She does chicken and vegetables like on the regular.
Speaker 1: That's cool. Yeah, that's nice. Alright, last one here, because
Speaker 1: we're my god. Look at the time, my god, look
Speaker 1: at the time. We've gone long again. That Sunday podcast
Speaker 1: will be ten minutes all right. Anyway, the average person
Speaker 1: believes that in a perfect world, this would take twelve
Speaker 1: minutes to get done. What is it? Orgasms? That's funny. No,
Speaker 1: the correct answer would be a cooking dinner. Well, what
Speaker 1: foods could you make in twelve minutes? Like chocolate chip
Speaker 1: cookies you can get I could do a steak in
Speaker 1: twelve minutes. I could do a steak in twelve minute.
Speaker 1: How long does it take you to cook a Tomahawks steak?
Speaker 1: That's gonna take a while. I'd probably take like probably
Speaker 1: double the time. Four minutes. Yeah, okay, interesting, Yeah, alright,
Speaker 1: we gotta get out of your guests. Yeah, we gotta go,
Speaker 1: I guess al alright, stop talking please, alright, have a
Speaker 1: great rest you Saturday. Remember if you have not yet
Speaker 1: listened to Benny Versus the Penny watched it on YouTube.
Speaker 1: Do that. Check it out. Get all the pics on
Speaker 1: the NFL games on Sunday, and we'll have another short podcast,
Speaker 1: very short podcast on Sunday. Have a wonderful rest of
Speaker 1: your weekend and we'll catch you next time. Be sure
Speaker 1: to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays
Speaker 1: at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific