WEBVTT - Family Issues and Having a "Pobrecita" Mentality

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to be very vague, yet very direct. My

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<v Speaker 1>siblings are and I are suing my grandfather because a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of things weren't done right. I don't think it's

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<v Speaker 1>cool to have a Bodha sat that mindset or attitude.

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<v Speaker 1>Before we start pointing fingers, we need to look within

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<v Speaker 1>ourselves and say, wait a second, what have I done

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<v Speaker 1>to cause a situation. It's not just mistakes and all

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<v Speaker 1>that stuff, but always just feeling sorry for yourself. No

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<v Speaker 1>one wants to be around that, and you're going to

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<v Speaker 1>find yourself lonely if you don't fix that. What up, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>Happy Monday. I hope you all are having an amazing day.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm happy to be on the mic with you guys

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<v Speaker 1>for today's episode of Cheeks and Chill, and I hope

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<v Speaker 1>you guys had a chance to check out last week's

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<v Speaker 1>episode on the Pie of Life, something I learned about

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<v Speaker 1>in therapy and it's really helped me balance my life,

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<v Speaker 1>so be sure to check it out anyway. On today's episode,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to be talking about something I posted on TikTok.

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<v Speaker 1>In the video, I talked about how I can't stand

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<v Speaker 1>people who have a boba that mindset. That attitude. A

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<v Speaker 1>lot of you guys watched it and responded to it,

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<v Speaker 1>so I wanted to impact that a little bit on here.

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<v Speaker 1>So let's get into it. This is Cheeky's and chill, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So let's start with a little bit of the backstory.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what I can't stand approach to life mindset?

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<v Speaker 2>You know someone that victimizes themselves, especially when they're the

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<v Speaker 2>ones that caused the situation that they're.

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<v Speaker 1>In the reason why I posted the video in the

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<v Speaker 1>first place was because my siblings and I are going

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<v Speaker 1>through a little something that we have not yet publicly

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<v Speaker 1>talked about, and we have chosen for it to be

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<v Speaker 1>that way. I'm gonna be very vague, yet very direct.

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<v Speaker 1>My siblings are and I are suing my grandfather because

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of things weren't done right since I can remember. Again,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't get into detail because I'm gonna let the

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<v Speaker 1>lawyers take care of that. But there has been a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of lies and deception and just people and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not going to say names, but people really not taking

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<v Speaker 1>accountability and not taking responsibility for their actions, not knowing

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<v Speaker 1>how to apologize, how to accept that they didn't do

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<v Speaker 1>a perfect job, and that's okay. We don't want perfection,

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<v Speaker 1>we want honesty. Right. So I was thinking, and it

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<v Speaker 1>had been sitting in my heart and in my mind

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<v Speaker 1>for a while, and then then I thought, you know what,

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<v Speaker 1>it's something that has been bugging me in general. It's

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<v Speaker 1>something that bugs me in general. And when this all

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<v Speaker 1>happened and then I saw certain things being said, I

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<v Speaker 1>took a lot. And it still takes a lot for

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<v Speaker 1>me to just stay quiet and stay centered and focus

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<v Speaker 1>on God and know that he has our back and

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<v Speaker 1>he knows the truth and everything is going to be okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Because as a big sister, the first thing I want

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<v Speaker 1>to do is go out there and defend my siblings

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<v Speaker 1>and defend our truth. But I'm just trying to be

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<v Speaker 1>chill now. So that's the reason I posted it. And

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<v Speaker 1>I was thinking of someone specifically, which I'm not going

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<v Speaker 1>to say their name, And I always say if the

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<v Speaker 1>shoe fits, wear it. But it also does go with

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<v Speaker 1>what I truly believe. I don't think it's cool to

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<v Speaker 1>have a Bodhesita mindset or attitude. What does that mean exactly?

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<v Speaker 1>That means oh, pore me, Oh, I I didn't do this,

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<v Speaker 1>And the reason I did this was because this person

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<v Speaker 1>did that. It's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop pointing

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<v Speaker 1>fingers first of all, because when you point a finger,

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<v Speaker 1>there are three fingers pointing back at you. So I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not saying that the other person doesn't and shouldn't take accountability.

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<v Speaker 1>But before we start pointing fingers, we need to look

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<v Speaker 1>within ourselves and say, wait a second, what have I

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<v Speaker 1>done to cause a situation? What can I do differently

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<v Speaker 1>to have a better and a different outcome? Where can

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<v Speaker 1>I apologize? You know, there is a lot of power

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<v Speaker 1>in manning up, even if you're a woman like womaning

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<v Speaker 1>up you know the way I said it on my

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<v Speaker 1>TikTok and apologizing and saying you know what I asked up.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not perfect. You know I could have done things differently,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean. It could be in different situations.

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<v Speaker 1>But stop trying to make people feel sorry for you,

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<v Speaker 1>painting a picture of like it's the other person's fault. No, no, no, wit.

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<v Speaker 1>There's always two sides, three sides to the story, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>your side, their side, and the truth. So it's taking

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<v Speaker 1>accountability more than anything, and not wanting, first of all,

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<v Speaker 1>not victimizing yourself. Yes, you can be a victim of

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<v Speaker 1>a situation, but once you start victimizing yourself, that's very different.

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<v Speaker 1>It's oh my god, poor me, this happened to me.

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<v Speaker 1>And it keeps you stuck, It keeps you stagnant. It

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't allow you to grow, it doesn't allow you to

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<v Speaker 1>live a more peaceful life. There is so much freaking power, you, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>in being vulnerable and in saying, dude, I'm messed up

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm sorry for that, and I want to be

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<v Speaker 1>different and that does not define who I am today.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's why I posted it. I just felt that

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<v Speaker 1>it could fit many people, and that's why I kept

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<v Speaker 1>it general, because yes, it is like something I truly

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<v Speaker 1>can't stand, and yes we are and we're going through

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<v Speaker 1>something during that time, and I felt the need to

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<v Speaker 1>say something without saying it directly to the person, if

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<v Speaker 1>that makes sense. So I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>say how it is. I'm straight up, and it's not

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm scared if I haven't spoken up. It's because

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<v Speaker 1>I'm respecting my sister in her position, and I don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to make her position harder. My sister Jackie, who

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<v Speaker 1>is now the CEO of Jenny Rivera enterprises and we

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<v Speaker 1>all decided to just stay quiet. And I do see

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<v Speaker 1>and I do hear a lot of things that pissed

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<v Speaker 1>me off, and I'm gonna just maybe eventually, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know when, I don't know if it's even gonna happen,

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<v Speaker 1>but take the reins as the eldest sister and speak

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<v Speaker 1>the truth. But for now, I'm chilling. I'm leaving it

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<v Speaker 1>in God's hands. And I truly, truly do believe that

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<v Speaker 1>you should not. And it's not cute to have able

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<v Speaker 1>to see that mentality, guys, absolutely not. You know, I

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<v Speaker 1>was sitting and thinking to myself, where does this come from?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it a maturity thing? Is it lack of confidence?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I mean, I personally feel because I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not gonna lie. Back in the days when I was younger,

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<v Speaker 1>it was a little harder for me to take accountability.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think it was because I didn't know who

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<v Speaker 1>I was. I thought that I had to be quote

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<v Speaker 1>unquote perfect, you know what I mean, in order for

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<v Speaker 1>people to like me. Then it got to a point

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<v Speaker 1>where it's like, I'm human. I make mistakes, I can

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<v Speaker 1>say sorry, I can change no situation is going to

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<v Speaker 1>define who I am today and who am going to

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<v Speaker 1>be tomorrow and in my future. So once I understood

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<v Speaker 1>that and I was like, Okay, I accept myself for

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<v Speaker 1>who I am, flaws and all. Now I'm like, okay, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm cool with not being perfect. I'm okay with making

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<v Speaker 1>mistakes and I admit to them because regardless dos a

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<v Speaker 1>la la loos, everything comes to light. So I do

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<v Speaker 1>think it is a part of not knowing who you are,

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<v Speaker 1>not being confident in who you are, and maturity. But unfortunately,

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<v Speaker 1>in my situation, my personal situation, which is what caused

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<v Speaker 1>me to record this video in the first place, the

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<v Speaker 1>person I'm kind of thinking about is older than I am.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually it's not just one person, it's a few people.

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<v Speaker 1>They're older than I am, And I'm like, what the

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<v Speaker 1>heck they have, in my personal opinion, something that they

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<v Speaker 1>need to heal in their heart and in their mind,

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<v Speaker 1>or something that's causing them not to see the truth

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<v Speaker 1>of things. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a grown

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<v Speaker 1>ass man or a grown ass woman, doesn't matter your age,

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<v Speaker 1>to say, you know what, I didn't do this right

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<v Speaker 1>and for that I'm sorry. I admire people that can

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<v Speaker 1>just face it. You take the power from the other

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<v Speaker 1>person once you're just like, I apologize, I'm sorry, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what I mean. Like you take literally the power

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<v Speaker 1>and you're like, oh shoot, the other person says like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh wow, they admitted to it, or you know, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna I'm gonna forgive them because they've been honest,

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<v Speaker 1>because they're apologizing, because they're admitting, you know what I mean.

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<v Speaker 1>So I do think it's a little bit. It's a

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<v Speaker 1>conjunction of things. I could be wrong. Again, this is

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<v Speaker 1>just my opinion and my advice and my podcast, so

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<v Speaker 1>I can talk about whatever I want, Thank goodness, but

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<v Speaker 1>it is something that is not cute, especially in men.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not cute to be like, oh, you know, everyone

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<v Speaker 1>feels sorry for me. You know, I didn't do anything wrong,

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<v Speaker 1>and these people are accusing me, and these people are

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<v Speaker 1>saying things that no, no, no, have your balls in your

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<v Speaker 1>hand and your body's in your hand, and face the truth,

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<v Speaker 1>face the music. You know what I mean. It's okay.

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<v Speaker 1>No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and it's

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<v Speaker 1>going to be that way for the rest of our lives.

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<v Speaker 1>That's just the way life works. You learn from every mistake.

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<v Speaker 1>The gatta gaia. Each time you fall, you learn, you grow,

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<v Speaker 1>you mature, You're supposed to anyways. And if you have

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<v Speaker 1>it and you still have that poor me attitude, bobahesitam

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<v Speaker 1>mentality added to whatever you want to call it, you

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<v Speaker 1>really got to do some like inner work, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>because it's just it's it's not it you guys, and

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<v Speaker 1>it will keep you stuck. It will not allow you

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<v Speaker 1>to grow. And what Chiggie's and Chill is all about

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<v Speaker 1>is growing and expanding and evolving in every way. Perfection

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<v Speaker 1>does not exist. And it's okay because I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>being perfect would be boring. It wouldn't like bring any

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<v Speaker 1>labor or sason to like life. So we need certain

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<v Speaker 1>situations and certain things to spice things up a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>But what are you going to learn from that? You

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<v Speaker 1>know what I mean? And I want to publicly think

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<v Speaker 1>my mother for the way that I am because she

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<v Speaker 1>was tough. She was a tough and a very strict mom.

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<v Speaker 1>She was very direct with us and her lessons were hard,

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<v Speaker 1>very hard, but they stuck. And that's one thing that

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<v Speaker 1>when I went through the whole thing with my dad's

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<v Speaker 1>actually molesting me in that whole situation. My mom believed

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<v Speaker 1>me right away and said, you know what, Okay, I

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<v Speaker 1>believe you. I don't question it. She took me to

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<v Speaker 1>the doctor, she did everything she had to do as

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<v Speaker 1>a mother to be there for me, put me into therapy,

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<v Speaker 1>the whole thing. But I swear to you, in my

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<v Speaker 1>little mind at twelve years old, I thought, okay, cool,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to be able to get away with a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of things because this happened to me. My mom

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<v Speaker 1>was like, uh h, hell no, that happened to you,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm not going to feel sorry for you, and

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<v Speaker 1>you should not feel sorry for yourself and get started.

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<v Speaker 1>Then when I was like, oh shoot, I thought I

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<v Speaker 1>was gonna have like special treatment, you know what I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>because I was going through so much. But she was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>you're going to school, You're gonna bring me good grades,

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<v Speaker 1>and if you don't, I'm gonna whoop your ass. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>so mind you times are different, you guys. Spanking was

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<v Speaker 1>still okay back in the days. So anyways, my mom

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<v Speaker 1>was very like, no, I'm not gonna allow you to

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<v Speaker 1>feel sorry for yourself and victimize yourself. Yes, you are

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<v Speaker 1>a victim of sexual abuse, but you are not going

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<v Speaker 1>to victimize yourself. You are going to take this and

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<v Speaker 1>learn from it and help other people. And that's what

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<v Speaker 1>was instilled in my mind, and I till this day

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<v Speaker 1>think like that. I'm like, Okay, I got a separation,

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<v Speaker 1>I was divorced. Everything, anything and everything that I've been through.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, what lesson? Literally? I asked myself, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>what is God trying to teach me from this? What

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<v Speaker 1>lesson am I to learn from this pain? How am

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<v Speaker 1>I going to turn this pain into growth, maturity, into

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<v Speaker 1>making myself a better version of myself to keep myself

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<v Speaker 1>from feeling this pain again. So I've always had that mentality,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know, and I thank my mom for it,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, And I think for sure that's where it

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<v Speaker 1>comes from. When it comes to me, I don't like

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<v Speaker 1>to sit there and mope and just say oh my

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<v Speaker 1>God and not do anything. Like I'm like, no, what

0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:20.080
<v Speaker 1>can I change? How can I make this situation better?

0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:22.960
<v Speaker 1>How can I learn from this? There is always something

0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:25.680
<v Speaker 1>to learn from every situation, even if it's painful. I

0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:29.520
<v Speaker 1>always say pain is a pastor promotion. Pain is supposed

0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:33.200
<v Speaker 1>to make us grow in every single way, and growing

0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:39.120
<v Speaker 1>isn't necessarily comfortable. It's actually uncomfortable. Change is uncomfortable, but

0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:42.439
<v Speaker 1>it's necessary in order to make us a better version

0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:51.760
<v Speaker 1>of ourselves. Going back to the TikTok, there was a

0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:55.160
<v Speaker 1>comment on my post of a girl saying, you know

0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:58.360
<v Speaker 1>what she admitted here. This is a prime example of

0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:01.160
<v Speaker 1>someone taking accountability and saying, you know what, I do

0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:03.280
<v Speaker 1>this a lot to myself. How can I stop doing it?

0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:05.360
<v Speaker 1>What advice do you have for me? So I hope

0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.240
<v Speaker 1>she listens to my podcast. My advice to the specific

0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:11.800
<v Speaker 1>girl who, honestly, I commend random applause to you for

0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:15.040
<v Speaker 1>doing it publicly because you left a comment publicly that

0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:17.400
<v Speaker 1>you do this, and it's okay, we all, I've been there,

0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:21.679
<v Speaker 1>I get it. I understand. It's first of all, recognizing it,

0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:24.560
<v Speaker 1>which that's a first step. And you're doing that, recognizing it,

0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:28.760
<v Speaker 1>admitting to it, taking accountability, okay. And I think it's

0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.920
<v Speaker 1>important to know who you are and what you bring

0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:34.560
<v Speaker 1>to the world, what you bring to the table, being

0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:37.679
<v Speaker 1>okay with that, accepting your flaws and doing anything and

0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:40.439
<v Speaker 1>everything that you can to change those things. How can

0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:44.200
<v Speaker 1>you do that? Okay? Going to therapy, healing things, you know,

0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:47.760
<v Speaker 1>especially healing healing is so important for the process of

0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:51.680
<v Speaker 1>growing and becoming our best selves. That is one of

0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:54.040
<v Speaker 1>the most important things to do, so that you don't

0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:56.040
<v Speaker 1>throw yourself a little pity party and it's like, oh

0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:58.680
<v Speaker 1>my god, a pitty party of one, Like, no, that's

0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:00.640
<v Speaker 1>not cute, you guys, that's not in an attractive thing.

0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:03.679
<v Speaker 1>And feeling sorry for yourself is just admitting apologizing if

0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:08.160
<v Speaker 1>you need to apologize, and healing, taking accountability, taking responsibility

0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:11.520
<v Speaker 1>for whatever mistake you make, and being okay with knowing

0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:14.200
<v Speaker 1>that you're human and you're gonna make mistakes. You're not perfect,

0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:18.000
<v Speaker 1>and you have to allow yourself through that mistake to

0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:20.440
<v Speaker 1>grow and to learn, because that's what life is all about,

0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:23.680
<v Speaker 1>is going through certain situations and scenarios in order for

0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:27.480
<v Speaker 1>you to grow, to learn, to mature, and that's going

0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:30.600
<v Speaker 1>to make you your best self. That's my advice to you,

0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:33.320
<v Speaker 1>and I hope you listen to this podcast because I've

0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:36.120
<v Speaker 1>been meaning to respond to that comment, but I thought

0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:37.720
<v Speaker 1>that this would be the best way to go about

0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:40.800
<v Speaker 1>it because I wanted people to really truly understand where

0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:44.840
<v Speaker 1>that whole TikTok boese that mentality attitude came from. Because

0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:49.160
<v Speaker 1>it's just I don't know. I really admire someone that

0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:51.560
<v Speaker 1>can come and just in your face say, dude, I

0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:53.760
<v Speaker 1>really screwed up. I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't

0:14:53.760 --> 0:14:56.320
<v Speaker 1>have done that. I didn't do things right. My bad.

0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:59.400
<v Speaker 1>Because when you say it out loud, you're not only

0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:02.320
<v Speaker 1>asking the person and for forgiveness, but you're also forgiving

0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:06.520
<v Speaker 1>yourself and giving yourself that grace and that compassion that

0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:10.080
<v Speaker 1>it just you won't fall. When you say it out

0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:13.200
<v Speaker 1>loud and you yourself bring it to light, it's very

0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:15.360
<v Speaker 1>hard for you to go back to do the same thing.

0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:17.280
<v Speaker 1>And that's what it's about. It's like, hey, let me

0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:19.520
<v Speaker 1>bring this out to the world and out loud, and

0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:21.160
<v Speaker 1>not to the world, but to the person, like not

0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:24.000
<v Speaker 1>keeping it within yourself, but actually telling not like going

0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:25.800
<v Speaker 1>on a podcast or like on TikTok and saying it

0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:27.480
<v Speaker 1>the way I did. But I'm saying, like, you know,

0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:30.560
<v Speaker 1>like going to the person or saying hey, admitting out loud,

0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:33.440
<v Speaker 1>hey I messed up. That just like allows you or

0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:36.040
<v Speaker 1>helps you not to make the same mistake. You get me.

0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:38.880
<v Speaker 1>And just to be honest, when I say that's not cute,

0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.200
<v Speaker 1>I really mean it. That whole like pity party and

0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:44.600
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, and you know I don't have this,

0:15:44.800 --> 0:15:48.400
<v Speaker 1>and it's like always complaining and being negative is just

0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:50.440
<v Speaker 1>no one wants to be around that. It could be

0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:52.680
<v Speaker 1>somewhat contagious and you could be like in a great

0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:54.880
<v Speaker 1>mood and then you all of a sudden are around

0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:57.360
<v Speaker 1>this person who's just like, oh, you know, my goodness,

0:15:57.400 --> 0:15:59.600
<v Speaker 1>and this always happens to me and this and this

0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:02.040
<v Speaker 1>and that and blah blah blah. It's just like, dude,

0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:04.280
<v Speaker 1>that's another thing. It's not just mistakes and all that stuff,

0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:07.080
<v Speaker 1>because I was like my personal situation, but like yeah,

0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:09.640
<v Speaker 1>like always just feeling sorry for yourself and always just

0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.760
<v Speaker 1>pointing out how everything is going wrong and complaining in

0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:15.280
<v Speaker 1>your life. Like that's also abbot to see that mentality,

0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:18.000
<v Speaker 1>Like no one wants to be around that, and you're

0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:21.600
<v Speaker 1>going to find yourself lonely if you don't fix that.

0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.120
<v Speaker 1>Like it's it's about being positive. And I know that

0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:27.960
<v Speaker 1>sounds like so cliche, like oh, optimistic and all this stuff,

0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:31.840
<v Speaker 1>but it's way better than complaining and being negative, for sure.

0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:35.320
<v Speaker 1>I'd rather be optimistic all day long than pessimistic, for sure.

0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:38.760
<v Speaker 1>So that's another thing to take into consideration. I don't

0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:40.520
<v Speaker 1>want to live my life by myself, you know. I

0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:43.160
<v Speaker 1>want to have solid, good friends, And that's also in

0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:46.440
<v Speaker 1>your hands and being more of a positive person, not

0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:49.640
<v Speaker 1>just for yourself but for those around you. And if

0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:53.040
<v Speaker 1>you find yourself doing this, take the device I just

0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:56.560
<v Speaker 1>gave homegirl from TikTok where she left her comment. Or

0:16:56.640 --> 0:16:59.320
<v Speaker 1>if you have friends or family members that do this

0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:03.000
<v Speaker 1>all the time and it's affecting you, because it will

0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:05.200
<v Speaker 1>first it'll annoy you and you'll be like, oh my gosh,

0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:06.879
<v Speaker 1>this is so annoying. Why they're always saying that? And

0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:10.680
<v Speaker 1>then it's just gonna start really affecting you mentally emotionally.

0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:13.080
<v Speaker 1>So I think you just got to like, don't stay

0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:15.280
<v Speaker 1>in front of people. I always say, like, pull someone

0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:18.080
<v Speaker 1>to the side, write them a letter. I love writing letters,

0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:21.680
<v Speaker 1>So write them a letter or tell them personally privately, hey,

0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:25.560
<v Speaker 1>like this is not okay. You're now starting to affect me,

0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:28.960
<v Speaker 1>and you really need to heal yourself, Like you really

0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:31.960
<v Speaker 1>need to do something to heal whatever's going on and

0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:35.760
<v Speaker 1>is making you feel this way, whatever it is, tell

0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:38.119
<v Speaker 1>them what I'm telling you, Like, that's not cute, you

0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:40.280
<v Speaker 1>know what I mean like, you're gonna push me away

0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:43.240
<v Speaker 1>if you continue doing this, if you continue feeling sorry

0:17:43.320 --> 0:17:46.440
<v Speaker 1>for yourself and being negative and pointing out everything that's

0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:48.840
<v Speaker 1>going wrong in your life. And that's one thing I

0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:51.000
<v Speaker 1>always say you, guys, Yes we can have a bad day,

0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:54.000
<v Speaker 1>and believe me, I have them where I'm irritated or

0:17:54.240 --> 0:17:58.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm annoyed, or I'm overwhelmed, and I do my best

0:17:58.920 --> 0:18:01.200
<v Speaker 1>to say, hey, at least to have a roof over

0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:03.800
<v Speaker 1>my head, at least I have running water, like point

0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:06.280
<v Speaker 1>out the good things. You know, no one wants to

0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:08.880
<v Speaker 1>be around someone that's constantly pointing out the bad things.

0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:10.760
<v Speaker 1>It's okay for you to say, hey, I'm feeling this,

0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:14.440
<v Speaker 1>but don't let that moment turn into two days, three

0:18:14.520 --> 0:18:16.960
<v Speaker 1>days a week, a month, like, no, we got to

0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:19.040
<v Speaker 1>stop it. It's in our hands. It's a choice to say,

0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:21.399
<v Speaker 1>I choose to be happy, I choose to heal, I

0:18:21.520 --> 0:18:24.159
<v Speaker 1>choose to be better. I choose to forgive myself, I

0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:26.119
<v Speaker 1>choose to forgive that person. It's all about what you

0:18:26.200 --> 0:18:28.280
<v Speaker 1>choose on a daily basis that's going to make the

0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:33.080
<v Speaker 1>biggest difference. So just to wrap everything up, because I

0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:36.919
<v Speaker 1>know I went here, there and everywhere, but take accountability,

0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:41.679
<v Speaker 1>Take responsibility for your actions, for your mistakes. Know that

0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:44.560
<v Speaker 1>no one is perfect. Allow yourself to be human. You

0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:48.360
<v Speaker 1>are human, but also allow yourself to be a spiritual

0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:52.840
<v Speaker 1>person and mature enough to apologize if need be. And also,

0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:56.400
<v Speaker 1>instead of looking at all the negative things and looking

0:18:56.480 --> 0:18:59.760
<v Speaker 1>at all the things that you don't have, start focusing

0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:01.800
<v Speaker 1>on what you do have, on the good things in

0:19:01.840 --> 0:19:05.119
<v Speaker 1>your life, and that will definitely help you set the

0:19:05.160 --> 0:19:09.000
<v Speaker 1>tone for your day, for your life, and for you

0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:11.480
<v Speaker 1>not to have a bob to see that mentality, because

0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:14.080
<v Speaker 1>that's not gonna get you anywhere. It's going to keep

0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:16.560
<v Speaker 1>you stuck. And no one is trying to be stuck.

0:19:16.840 --> 0:19:18.880
<v Speaker 1>That's not the goal here. The goal is to keep going,

0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:21.800
<v Speaker 1>to keep moving, to move forward, to be better, to grow,

0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:25.040
<v Speaker 1>you know. So anyways, guys, I hope that this episode

0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:27.600
<v Speaker 1>has helped you and will help you, or you can

0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:30.800
<v Speaker 1>help someone else. If you know someone that is kind

0:19:30.800 --> 0:19:33.720
<v Speaker 1>of like this, it's okay. I've been there before. I

0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:36.800
<v Speaker 1>know I recognize it, So it's okay. If you have

0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:40.200
<v Speaker 1>a friend a family member that is doing this right now,

0:19:40.320 --> 0:19:42.679
<v Speaker 1>send them this episode so that they can listen to

0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:46.280
<v Speaker 1>it and Hopefully that can spark something in them to

0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:49.560
<v Speaker 1>make a difference, to change so that they're also happier,

0:19:49.600 --> 0:19:51.760
<v Speaker 1>because at the end of the day, you're so much

0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:57.000
<v Speaker 1>happier when you take accountability. Accountability, it'll take you far, guys.

0:19:57.680 --> 0:19:59.680
<v Speaker 1>So with that being said, you know I always leave

0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:08.399
<v Speaker 1>you guys with a quote. I actually have two, guys. Okay,

0:20:09.000 --> 0:20:13.520
<v Speaker 1>So the quotes are, you can't mope around feeling sorry

0:20:13.560 --> 0:20:17.360
<v Speaker 1>for yourself and expect good things to happen. It doesn't

0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:20.000
<v Speaker 1>work like that. The next one is don't feel sorry

0:20:20.040 --> 0:20:23.159
<v Speaker 1>for yourself. Only assholes do that, all right, guys. So

0:20:23.280 --> 0:20:26.040
<v Speaker 1>I hope you guys found this episode empowering. Just know

0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:28.840
<v Speaker 1>that I appreciate you, that I love you, and that

0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:31.399
<v Speaker 1>all I want is for you to become your best self.

0:20:31.680 --> 0:20:34.159
<v Speaker 1>That is all okay, And before I let you go,

0:20:34.600 --> 0:20:36.639
<v Speaker 1>be sure to tune in for next week's episode of

0:20:36.680 --> 0:20:39.160
<v Speaker 1>Cheeks and Chill because it's a good one. We sit

0:20:39.240 --> 0:20:42.360
<v Speaker 1>down with one of my good friends, DJ Lechro. Don't

0:20:42.400 --> 0:20:47.479
<v Speaker 1>miss that one, Okay. I love you guys. Do you

0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:52.360
<v Speaker 1>need advice on love, relationships, health emails? I'm so excited

0:20:52.359 --> 0:20:54.760
<v Speaker 1>to share with you that my cheekys and Chill podcast

0:20:54.840 --> 0:20:57.879
<v Speaker 1>will have an extra episode drop each week. I'll be

0:20:57.960 --> 0:21:04.240
<v Speaker 1>answering all your questions. Leave me a voice message person

0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:06.199
<v Speaker 1>Ade Monday. All you have to do is go to

0:21:06.240 --> 0:21:09.520
<v Speaker 1>speak pipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts and

0:21:09.560 --> 0:21:11.840
<v Speaker 1>record your questions. I can't wait to hear from you.

0:21:16.080 --> 0:21:20.200
<v Speaker 1>This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Micaeldura podcast Network.

0:21:20.680 --> 0:21:23.600
<v Speaker 1>Follow us on Instagram at Michael Gura Podcasts and follow

0:21:23.640 --> 0:21:26.320
<v Speaker 1>me Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s.

0:21:26.840 --> 0:21:31.240
<v Speaker 1>For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

0:21:31.359 --> 0:21:34.160
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0:21:34.240 --> 0:21:36.200
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