1 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 1: I'm going to be very vague, yet very direct. My 2 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:11,320 Speaker 1: siblings are and I are suing my grandfather because a 3 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: lot of things weren't done right. I don't think it's 4 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: cool to have a Bodha sat that mindset or attitude. 5 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,279 Speaker 1: Before we start pointing fingers, we need to look within 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: ourselves and say, wait a second, what have I done 7 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 1: to cause a situation. It's not just mistakes and all 8 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: that stuff, but always just feeling sorry for yourself. No 9 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: one wants to be around that, and you're going to 10 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: find yourself lonely if you don't fix that. What up, guys, 11 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,840 Speaker 1: Happy Monday. I hope you all are having an amazing day. 12 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:43,480 Speaker 1: I'm happy to be on the mic with you guys 13 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,199 Speaker 1: for today's episode of Cheeks and Chill, and I hope 14 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 1: you guys had a chance to check out last week's 15 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 1: episode on the Pie of Life, something I learned about 16 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,600 Speaker 1: in therapy and it's really helped me balance my life, 17 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 1: so be sure to check it out anyway. On today's episode, 18 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: I'm going to be talking about something I posted on TikTok. 19 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: In the video, I talked about how I can't stand 20 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: people who have a boba that mindset. That attitude. A 21 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,679 Speaker 1: lot of you guys watched it and responded to it, 22 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: so I wanted to impact that a little bit on here. 23 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:20,399 Speaker 1: So let's get into it. This is Cheeky's and chill, okay, 24 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: So let's start with a little bit of the backstory. 25 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 2: You know what I can't stand approach to life mindset? 26 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:39,120 Speaker 2: You know someone that victimizes themselves, especially when they're the 27 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,639 Speaker 2: ones that caused the situation that they're. 28 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: In the reason why I posted the video in the 29 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:48,559 Speaker 1: first place was because my siblings and I are going 30 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: through a little something that we have not yet publicly 31 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: talked about, and we have chosen for it to be 32 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: that way. I'm gonna be very vague, yet very direct. 33 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 1: My siblings are and I are suing my grandfather because 34 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:10,359 Speaker 1: a lot of things weren't done right since I can remember. Again, 35 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: I can't get into detail because I'm gonna let the 36 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: lawyers take care of that. But there has been a 37 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 1: lot of lies and deception and just people and I'm 38 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: not going to say names, but people really not taking 39 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: accountability and not taking responsibility for their actions, not knowing 40 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 1: how to apologize, how to accept that they didn't do 41 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 1: a perfect job, and that's okay. We don't want perfection, 42 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: we want honesty. Right. So I was thinking, and it 43 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: had been sitting in my heart and in my mind 44 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,040 Speaker 1: for a while, and then then I thought, you know what, 45 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 1: it's something that has been bugging me in general. It's 46 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: something that bugs me in general. And when this all 47 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 1: happened and then I saw certain things being said, I 48 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 1: took a lot. And it still takes a lot for 49 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:58,680 Speaker 1: me to just stay quiet and stay centered and focus 50 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: on God and know that he has our back and 51 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 1: he knows the truth and everything is going to be okay. 52 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: Because as a big sister, the first thing I want 53 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 1: to do is go out there and defend my siblings 54 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 1: and defend our truth. But I'm just trying to be 55 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 1: chill now. So that's the reason I posted it. And 56 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 1: I was thinking of someone specifically, which I'm not going 57 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 1: to say their name, And I always say if the 58 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 1: shoe fits, wear it. But it also does go with 59 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,640 Speaker 1: what I truly believe. I don't think it's cool to 60 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: have a Bodhesita mindset or attitude. What does that mean exactly? 61 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: That means oh, pore me, Oh, I I didn't do this, 62 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 1: And the reason I did this was because this person 63 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 1: did that. It's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop pointing 64 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: fingers first of all, because when you point a finger, 65 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 1: there are three fingers pointing back at you. So I'm 66 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 1: not saying that the other person doesn't and shouldn't take accountability. 67 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 1: But before we start pointing fingers, we need to look 68 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: within ourselves and say, wait a second, what have I 69 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: done to cause a situation? What can I do differently 70 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,839 Speaker 1: to have a better and a different outcome? Where can 71 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 1: I apologize? You know, there is a lot of power 72 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:22,440 Speaker 1: in manning up, even if you're a woman like womaning 73 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: up you know the way I said it on my 74 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 1: TikTok and apologizing and saying you know what I asked up. 75 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: I'm not perfect. You know I could have done things differently, 76 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It could be in different situations. 77 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 1: But stop trying to make people feel sorry for you, 78 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:41,040 Speaker 1: painting a picture of like it's the other person's fault. No, no, no, wit. 79 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: There's always two sides, three sides to the story, Okay, 80 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 1: your side, their side, and the truth. So it's taking 81 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:52,040 Speaker 1: accountability more than anything, and not wanting, first of all, 82 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,280 Speaker 1: not victimizing yourself. Yes, you can be a victim of 83 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 1: a situation, but once you start victimizing yourself, that's very different. 84 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,240 Speaker 1: It's oh my god, poor me, this happened to me. 85 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: And it keeps you stuck, It keeps you stagnant. It 86 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 1: doesn't allow you to grow, it doesn't allow you to 87 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:12,480 Speaker 1: live a more peaceful life. There is so much freaking power, you, guys, 88 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: in being vulnerable and in saying, dude, I'm messed up 89 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 1: and I'm sorry for that, and I want to be 90 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,040 Speaker 1: different and that does not define who I am today. 91 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: So that's why I posted it. I just felt that 92 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: it could fit many people, and that's why I kept 93 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,799 Speaker 1: it general, because yes, it is like something I truly 94 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:37,920 Speaker 1: can't stand, and yes we are and we're going through 95 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 1: something during that time, and I felt the need to 96 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:45,159 Speaker 1: say something without saying it directly to the person, if 97 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: that makes sense. So I'm gonna be honest. I'm gonna 98 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 1: say how it is. I'm straight up, and it's not 99 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,559 Speaker 1: because I'm scared if I haven't spoken up. It's because 100 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 1: I'm respecting my sister in her position, and I don't 101 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 1: want to make her position harder. My sister Jackie, who 102 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: is now the CEO of Jenny Rivera enterprises and we 103 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:04,920 Speaker 1: all decided to just stay quiet. And I do see 104 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 1: and I do hear a lot of things that pissed 105 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: me off, and I'm gonna just maybe eventually, I don't 106 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: know when, I don't know if it's even gonna happen, 107 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 1: but take the reins as the eldest sister and speak 108 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,840 Speaker 1: the truth. But for now, I'm chilling. I'm leaving it 109 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:26,160 Speaker 1: in God's hands. And I truly, truly do believe that 110 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 1: you should not. And it's not cute to have able 111 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 1: to see that mentality, guys, absolutely not. You know, I 112 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:44,000 Speaker 1: was sitting and thinking to myself, where does this come from? 113 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: Is it a maturity thing? Is it lack of confidence? 114 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I personally feel because I'm 115 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,039 Speaker 1: not gonna lie. Back in the days when I was younger, 116 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: it was a little harder for me to take accountability. 117 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,920 Speaker 1: And I think it was because I didn't know who 118 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:07,040 Speaker 1: I was. I thought that I had to be quote 119 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,159 Speaker 1: unquote perfect, you know what I mean, in order for 120 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 1: people to like me. Then it got to a point 121 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 1: where it's like, I'm human. I make mistakes, I can 122 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 1: say sorry, I can change no situation is going to 123 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 1: define who I am today and who am going to 124 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: be tomorrow and in my future. So once I understood 125 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,840 Speaker 1: that and I was like, Okay, I accept myself for 126 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:29,200 Speaker 1: who I am, flaws and all. Now I'm like, okay, yeah, 127 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,679 Speaker 1: I'm cool with not being perfect. I'm okay with making 128 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 1: mistakes and I admit to them because regardless dos a 129 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 1: la la loos, everything comes to light. So I do 130 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 1: think it is a part of not knowing who you are, 131 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: not being confident in who you are, and maturity. But unfortunately, 132 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: in my situation, my personal situation, which is what caused 133 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 1: me to record this video in the first place, the 134 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 1: person I'm kind of thinking about is older than I am. 135 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: Actually it's not just one person, it's a few people. 136 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,520 Speaker 1: They're older than I am, And I'm like, what the 137 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: heck they have, in my personal opinion, something that they 138 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 1: need to heal in their heart and in their mind, 139 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,080 Speaker 1: or something that's causing them not to see the truth 140 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 1: of things. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a grown 141 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 1: ass man or a grown ass woman, doesn't matter your age, 142 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: to say, you know what, I didn't do this right 143 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: and for that I'm sorry. I admire people that can 144 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,360 Speaker 1: just face it. You take the power from the other 145 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: person once you're just like, I apologize, I'm sorry, you 146 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like you take literally the power 147 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: and you're like, oh shoot, the other person says like, 148 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: oh wow, they admitted to it, or you know, yeah, 149 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna forgive them because they've been honest, 150 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,280 Speaker 1: because they're apologizing, because they're admitting, you know what I mean. 151 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 1: So I do think it's a little bit. It's a 152 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,440 Speaker 1: conjunction of things. I could be wrong. Again, this is 153 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 1: just my opinion and my advice and my podcast, so 154 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 1: I can talk about whatever I want, Thank goodness, but 155 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 1: it is something that is not cute, especially in men. 156 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: It's not cute to be like, oh, you know, everyone 157 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,679 Speaker 1: feels sorry for me. You know, I didn't do anything wrong, 158 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:06,600 Speaker 1: and these people are accusing me, and these people are 159 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 1: saying things that no, no, no, have your balls in your 160 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 1: hand and your body's in your hand, and face the truth, 161 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 1: face the music. You know what I mean. It's okay. 162 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 1: No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and it's 163 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 1: going to be that way for the rest of our lives. 164 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 1: That's just the way life works. You learn from every mistake. 165 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 1: The gatta gaia. Each time you fall, you learn, you grow, 166 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 1: you mature, You're supposed to anyways. And if you have 167 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,479 Speaker 1: it and you still have that poor me attitude, bobahesitam 168 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: mentality added to whatever you want to call it, you 169 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 1: really got to do some like inner work, you know, 170 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 1: because it's just it's it's not it you guys, and 171 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: it will keep you stuck. It will not allow you 172 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,960 Speaker 1: to grow. And what Chiggie's and Chill is all about 173 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: is growing and expanding and evolving in every way. Perfection 174 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,320 Speaker 1: does not exist. And it's okay because I feel like 175 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: being perfect would be boring. It wouldn't like bring any 176 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 1: labor or sason to like life. So we need certain 177 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: situations and certain things to spice things up a little bit. 178 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: But what are you going to learn from that? You 179 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: know what I mean? And I want to publicly think 180 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,400 Speaker 1: my mother for the way that I am because she 181 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:19,560 Speaker 1: was tough. She was a tough and a very strict mom. 182 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,720 Speaker 1: She was very direct with us and her lessons were hard, 183 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 1: very hard, but they stuck. And that's one thing that 184 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,559 Speaker 1: when I went through the whole thing with my dad's 185 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:33,559 Speaker 1: actually molesting me in that whole situation. My mom believed 186 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: me right away and said, you know what, Okay, I 187 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,920 Speaker 1: believe you. I don't question it. She took me to 188 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,400 Speaker 1: the doctor, she did everything she had to do as 189 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 1: a mother to be there for me, put me into therapy, 190 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:47,320 Speaker 1: the whole thing. But I swear to you, in my 191 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,199 Speaker 1: little mind at twelve years old, I thought, okay, cool, 192 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,599 Speaker 1: I'm going to be able to get away with a 193 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: lot of things because this happened to me. My mom 194 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 1: was like, uh h, hell no, that happened to you, 195 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: but I'm not going to feel sorry for you, and 196 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: you should not feel sorry for yourself and get started. 197 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:02,080 Speaker 1: Then when I was like, oh shoot, I thought I 198 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: was gonna have like special treatment, you know what I mean, 199 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 1: because I was going through so much. But she was like, oh, 200 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 1: you're going to school, You're gonna bring me good grades, 201 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 1: and if you don't, I'm gonna whoop your ass. You know, 202 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,319 Speaker 1: so mind you times are different, you guys. Spanking was 203 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 1: still okay back in the days. So anyways, my mom 204 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,760 Speaker 1: was very like, no, I'm not gonna allow you to 205 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,520 Speaker 1: feel sorry for yourself and victimize yourself. Yes, you are 206 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:26,440 Speaker 1: a victim of sexual abuse, but you are not going 207 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 1: to victimize yourself. You are going to take this and 208 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,080 Speaker 1: learn from it and help other people. And that's what 209 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:36,200 Speaker 1: was instilled in my mind, and I till this day 210 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 1: think like that. I'm like, Okay, I got a separation, 211 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 1: I was divorced. Everything, anything and everything that I've been through. 212 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, what lesson? Literally? I asked myself, and I'm like, 213 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: what is God trying to teach me from this? What 214 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 1: lesson am I to learn from this pain? How am 215 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 1: I going to turn this pain into growth, maturity, into 216 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:59,199 Speaker 1: making myself a better version of myself to keep myself 217 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 1: from feeling this pain again. So I've always had that mentality, 218 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 1: and you know, and I thank my mom for it, 219 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,959 Speaker 1: you know, And I think for sure that's where it 220 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: comes from. When it comes to me, I don't like 221 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,360 Speaker 1: to sit there and mope and just say oh my 222 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 1: God and not do anything. Like I'm like, no, what 223 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,080 Speaker 1: can I change? How can I make this situation better? 224 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,960 Speaker 1: How can I learn from this? There is always something 225 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,680 Speaker 1: to learn from every situation, even if it's painful. I 226 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 1: always say pain is a pastor promotion. Pain is supposed 227 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:33,200 Speaker 1: to make us grow in every single way, and growing 228 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: isn't necessarily comfortable. It's actually uncomfortable. Change is uncomfortable, but 229 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,439 Speaker 1: it's necessary in order to make us a better version 230 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:51,760 Speaker 1: of ourselves. Going back to the TikTok, there was a 231 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 1: comment on my post of a girl saying, you know 232 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,360 Speaker 1: what she admitted here. This is a prime example of 233 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 1: someone taking accountability and saying, you know what, I do 234 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 1: this a lot to myself. How can I stop doing it? 235 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,360 Speaker 1: What advice do you have for me? So I hope 236 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: she listens to my podcast. My advice to the specific 237 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 1: girl who, honestly, I commend random applause to you for 238 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,040 Speaker 1: doing it publicly because you left a comment publicly that 239 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 1: you do this, and it's okay, we all, I've been there, 240 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:21,679 Speaker 1: I get it. I understand. It's first of all, recognizing it, 241 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,560 Speaker 1: which that's a first step. And you're doing that, recognizing it, 242 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:28,760 Speaker 1: admitting to it, taking accountability, okay. And I think it's 243 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 1: important to know who you are and what you bring 244 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,560 Speaker 1: to the world, what you bring to the table, being 245 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,679 Speaker 1: okay with that, accepting your flaws and doing anything and 246 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,439 Speaker 1: everything that you can to change those things. How can 247 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:44,200 Speaker 1: you do that? Okay? Going to therapy, healing things, you know, 248 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 1: especially healing healing is so important for the process of 249 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,680 Speaker 1: growing and becoming our best selves. That is one of 250 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 1: the most important things to do, so that you don't 251 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 1: throw yourself a little pity party and it's like, oh 252 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 1: my god, a pitty party of one, Like, no, that's 253 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 1: not cute, you guys, that's not in an attractive thing. 254 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:03,679 Speaker 1: And feeling sorry for yourself is just admitting apologizing if 255 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 1: you need to apologize, and healing, taking accountability, taking responsibility 256 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 1: for whatever mistake you make, and being okay with knowing 257 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,200 Speaker 1: that you're human and you're gonna make mistakes. You're not perfect, 258 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 1: and you have to allow yourself through that mistake to 259 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: grow and to learn, because that's what life is all about, 260 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 1: is going through certain situations and scenarios in order for 261 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 1: you to grow, to learn, to mature, and that's going 262 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 1: to make you your best self. That's my advice to you, 263 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 1: and I hope you listen to this podcast because I've 264 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,120 Speaker 1: been meaning to respond to that comment, but I thought 265 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 1: that this would be the best way to go about 266 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,800 Speaker 1: it because I wanted people to really truly understand where 267 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,840 Speaker 1: that whole TikTok boese that mentality attitude came from. Because 268 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 1: it's just I don't know. I really admire someone that 269 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: can come and just in your face say, dude, I 270 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 1: really screwed up. I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't 271 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 1: have done that. I didn't do things right. My bad. 272 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,400 Speaker 1: Because when you say it out loud, you're not only 273 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,320 Speaker 1: asking the person and for forgiveness, but you're also forgiving 274 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 1: yourself and giving yourself that grace and that compassion that 275 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 1: it just you won't fall. When you say it out 276 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 1: loud and you yourself bring it to light, it's very 277 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 1: hard for you to go back to do the same thing. 278 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,280 Speaker 1: And that's what it's about. It's like, hey, let me 279 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 1: bring this out to the world and out loud, and 280 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 1: not to the world, but to the person, like not 281 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 1: keeping it within yourself, but actually telling not like going 282 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 1: on a podcast or like on TikTok and saying it 283 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 1: the way I did. But I'm saying, like, you know, 284 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 1: like going to the person or saying hey, admitting out loud, 285 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,440 Speaker 1: hey I messed up. That just like allows you or 286 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,040 Speaker 1: helps you not to make the same mistake. You get me. 287 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 1: And just to be honest, when I say that's not cute, 288 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 1: I really mean it. That whole like pity party and 289 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,600 Speaker 1: oh my god, and you know I don't have this, 290 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,400 Speaker 1: and it's like always complaining and being negative is just 291 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: no one wants to be around that. It could be 292 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 1: somewhat contagious and you could be like in a great 293 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,880 Speaker 1: mood and then you all of a sudden are around 294 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,360 Speaker 1: this person who's just like, oh, you know, my goodness, 295 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,600 Speaker 1: and this always happens to me and this and this 296 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 1: and that and blah blah blah. It's just like, dude, 297 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 1: that's another thing. It's not just mistakes and all that stuff, 298 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,080 Speaker 1: because I was like my personal situation, but like yeah, 299 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 1: like always just feeling sorry for yourself and always just 300 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 1: pointing out how everything is going wrong and complaining in 301 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 1: your life. Like that's also abbot to see that mentality, 302 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,000 Speaker 1: Like no one wants to be around that, and you're 303 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,600 Speaker 1: going to find yourself lonely if you don't fix that. 304 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,120 Speaker 1: Like it's it's about being positive. And I know that 305 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:27,960 Speaker 1: sounds like so cliche, like oh, optimistic and all this stuff, 306 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,840 Speaker 1: but it's way better than complaining and being negative, for sure. 307 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 1: I'd rather be optimistic all day long than pessimistic, for sure. 308 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 1: So that's another thing to take into consideration. I don't 309 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,520 Speaker 1: want to live my life by myself, you know. I 310 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 1: want to have solid, good friends, And that's also in 311 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 1: your hands and being more of a positive person, not 312 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,640 Speaker 1: just for yourself but for those around you. And if 313 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,040 Speaker 1: you find yourself doing this, take the device I just 314 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: gave homegirl from TikTok where she left her comment. Or 315 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 1: if you have friends or family members that do this 316 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 1: all the time and it's affecting you, because it will 317 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 1: first it'll annoy you and you'll be like, oh my gosh, 318 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,879 Speaker 1: this is so annoying. Why they're always saying that? And 319 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,680 Speaker 1: then it's just gonna start really affecting you mentally emotionally. 320 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 1: So I think you just got to like, don't stay 321 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 1: in front of people. I always say, like, pull someone 322 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 1: to the side, write them a letter. I love writing letters, 323 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:21,680 Speaker 1: So write them a letter or tell them personally privately, hey, 324 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 1: like this is not okay. You're now starting to affect me, 325 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,960 Speaker 1: and you really need to heal yourself, Like you really 326 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,960 Speaker 1: need to do something to heal whatever's going on and 327 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,760 Speaker 1: is making you feel this way, whatever it is, tell 328 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,119 Speaker 1: them what I'm telling you, Like, that's not cute, you 329 00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:40,280 Speaker 1: know what I mean like, you're gonna push me away 330 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 1: if you continue doing this, if you continue feeling sorry 331 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,440 Speaker 1: for yourself and being negative and pointing out everything that's 332 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 1: going wrong in your life. And that's one thing I 333 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 1: always say you, guys, Yes we can have a bad day, 334 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 1: and believe me, I have them where I'm irritated or 335 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: I'm annoyed, or I'm overwhelmed, and I do my best 336 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,200 Speaker 1: to say, hey, at least to have a roof over 337 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,800 Speaker 1: my head, at least I have running water, like point 338 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 1: out the good things. You know, no one wants to 339 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 1: be around someone that's constantly pointing out the bad things. 340 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 1: It's okay for you to say, hey, I'm feeling this, 341 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,440 Speaker 1: but don't let that moment turn into two days, three 342 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 1: days a week, a month, like, no, we got to 343 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 1: stop it. It's in our hands. It's a choice to say, 344 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,399 Speaker 1: I choose to be happy, I choose to heal, I 345 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,159 Speaker 1: choose to be better. I choose to forgive myself, I 346 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,119 Speaker 1: choose to forgive that person. It's all about what you 347 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 1: choose on a daily basis that's going to make the 348 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 1: biggest difference. So just to wrap everything up, because I 349 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:36,919 Speaker 1: know I went here, there and everywhere, but take accountability, 350 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:41,679 Speaker 1: Take responsibility for your actions, for your mistakes. Know that 351 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 1: no one is perfect. Allow yourself to be human. You 352 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:48,360 Speaker 1: are human, but also allow yourself to be a spiritual 353 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: person and mature enough to apologize if need be. And also, 354 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,400 Speaker 1: instead of looking at all the negative things and looking 355 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 1: at all the things that you don't have, start focusing 356 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,800 Speaker 1: on what you do have, on the good things in 357 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,119 Speaker 1: your life, and that will definitely help you set the 358 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:09,000 Speaker 1: tone for your day, for your life, and for you 359 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,480 Speaker 1: not to have a bob to see that mentality, because 360 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 1: that's not gonna get you anywhere. It's going to keep 361 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,560 Speaker 1: you stuck. And no one is trying to be stuck. 362 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,880 Speaker 1: That's not the goal here. The goal is to keep going, 363 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 1: to keep moving, to move forward, to be better, to grow, 364 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,040 Speaker 1: you know. So anyways, guys, I hope that this episode 365 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 1: has helped you and will help you, or you can 366 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 1: help someone else. If you know someone that is kind 367 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 1: of like this, it's okay. I've been there before. I 368 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,800 Speaker 1: know I recognize it, So it's okay. If you have 369 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,200 Speaker 1: a friend a family member that is doing this right now, 370 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,679 Speaker 1: send them this episode so that they can listen to 371 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,280 Speaker 1: it and Hopefully that can spark something in them to 372 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,560 Speaker 1: make a difference, to change so that they're also happier, 373 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, you're so much 374 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:57,000 Speaker 1: happier when you take accountability. Accountability, it'll take you far, guys. 375 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,680 Speaker 1: So with that being said, you know I always leave 376 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:08,399 Speaker 1: you guys with a quote. I actually have two, guys. Okay, 377 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:13,520 Speaker 1: So the quotes are, you can't mope around feeling sorry 378 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:17,360 Speaker 1: for yourself and expect good things to happen. It doesn't 379 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 1: work like that. The next one is don't feel sorry 380 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,159 Speaker 1: for yourself. Only assholes do that, all right, guys. So 381 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,040 Speaker 1: I hope you guys found this episode empowering. Just know 382 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,840 Speaker 1: that I appreciate you, that I love you, and that 383 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,399 Speaker 1: all I want is for you to become your best self. 384 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 1: That is all okay, And before I let you go, 385 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,639 Speaker 1: be sure to tune in for next week's episode of 386 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,160 Speaker 1: Cheeks and Chill because it's a good one. We sit 387 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:42,360 Speaker 1: down with one of my good friends, DJ Lechro. Don't 388 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:47,479 Speaker 1: miss that one, Okay. I love you guys. Do you 389 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:52,360 Speaker 1: need advice on love, relationships, health emails? I'm so excited 390 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:54,760 Speaker 1: to share with you that my cheekys and Chill podcast 391 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,879 Speaker 1: will have an extra episode drop each week. I'll be 392 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 1: answering all your questions. Leave me a voice message person 393 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,199 Speaker 1: Ade Monday. All you have to do is go to 394 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 1: speak pipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts and 395 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,840 Speaker 1: record your questions. I can't wait to hear from you. 396 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:20,200 Speaker 1: This is a production of iHeartRadio and the Micaeldura podcast Network. 397 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at Michael Gura Podcasts and follow 398 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 1: me Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s. 399 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 400 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:34,160 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check 401 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,200 Speaker 1: us out on YouTube.