1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 1: MHA. Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, a 2 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:18,799 Speaker 1: weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the 3 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible 4 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford, 5 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:31,920 Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or 6 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website 7 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:39,160 Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope 8 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it 9 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,279 Speaker 1: is not meant to be a substitute for relationship with 10 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much 11 00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:00,200 Speaker 1: for joining me for session to the Therapy for a 12 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: Black Girls podcast. Go get right into the episode after 13 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:16,120 Speaker 1: a quick word from our sponsors. Y'all know that I 14 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 1: am a huge reality TV fan and one of my 15 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,839 Speaker 1: favorite newer shows is The Circle on Netflix. The Circle 16 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: is a game show where the contestants all move into 17 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: the same apartment building, but have no interaction with one 18 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:31,480 Speaker 1: another outside of a social media like app called The Circle. 19 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,400 Speaker 1: So you can enter the game as yourself or as 20 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:38,000 Speaker 1: someone else a k a. A catfish. The other players 21 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 1: only know who you are based on the pictures you 22 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 1: share in your circle profile, and each week the contestants 23 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,039 Speaker 1: rank one another to decide who will be at the 24 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: top known as the Influencers, and whoever is at the 25 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: bottom must leave the circle. So the whole game is 26 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: a game of strategizing to try to be the last 27 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,840 Speaker 1: one left in the circle to win the cash prize. 28 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: Season one of the show premier to in season two 29 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 1: just wrapped up at me and they added lots of 30 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 1: twist and turns this season. And as I watched the season, 31 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,000 Speaker 1: I was of course paying attention to the sisters in 32 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: the game and the choices they were making and how 33 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 1: other players were responding to them, and thinking a lot 34 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 1: about what kind of strategy might I employ if I 35 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 1: were to be on a show like this, And of 36 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 1: course I had a ton of questions. So here today 37 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 1: to talk about her strategies for the game is season 38 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,920 Speaker 1: two winner The Lisa st a God. The Lisa is 39 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 1: the founder of two successful online businesses, The Unique Shop 40 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: in the Goodie Box Store. She's also working on a 41 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,959 Speaker 1: TV show based around her family and is currently writing 42 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 1: a series of children's books. The Lisa is passionate about 43 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: building platforms that shine light on uplifting black families and 44 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: creating platforms for mothers who are also entrepreneurs. The Lisa 45 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: and I chatted about why she chose to go into 46 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 1: the game as her husband Trevor, how she prepared for 47 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 1: the game, her thoughts about the perception of black women 48 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: on reality TV, how she kept herself busy in isolation, 49 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: and the surprise of finding out she was expecting while filming. 50 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: I should know that the Lisa was still pregnant when 51 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: we recorded our interview, but their sweet baby, Tori Sky, 52 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: has since been born. If there's something that resonates with 53 00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: you while enjoying our conversation, please share with us on 54 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: social media using the hashtag TBG in Session. Here's our conversation. 55 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: We are so excited to have you here today. To Lisa, Oh, 56 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: I'm so excited to be here. I'm honored. Actually, yeah, 57 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: So we are all huge fans of the Circle, and 58 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 1: we were hooked on season one, and then it feels 59 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: like y'all really came in hot, yeah in this second season, right, 60 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 1: and I'm guessing you know some benefit of like having 61 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: watched the first season, but it really feels like people 62 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: came in with their strategies and like how they were 63 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: planning to win this thing exactly. Much like real social media, 64 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: you know, this is kind of social media can be curated, 65 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 1: and there are some things that are like shiny and 66 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: not reel, and other things are very genuine. And it 67 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 1: really feels like you were able to cultivate some real 68 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 1: connections with people that lasted even after the finale. Can 69 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: you say more about, like how you feel like you 70 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: managed to do that? Absolutely throughout the entire game, I 71 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,800 Speaker 1: was really being myself. It's redundant to constantly say, you know, 72 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 1: I was so genuine, but I really was. But when 73 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,479 Speaker 1: you're speaking to other players in the Circle, that's still 74 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: the only communication you have with like the outside world, 75 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 1: so everything is amped up times one hundred. So when 76 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 1: you're talking to somebody and you say I made a connection, 77 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,719 Speaker 1: you really made that connection and it extended beyond the 78 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:44,480 Speaker 1: game for all of us, I think, honestly, And are 79 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 1: you still in contact with any of the players. I 80 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:50,840 Speaker 1: talked to all the players. I've even communicated with season 81 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,600 Speaker 1: one cast. Everybody is great. I have to say that 82 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,280 Speaker 1: The Circle is just a different type of reality show, 83 00:04:56,440 --> 00:05:00,360 Speaker 1: and the love really does extend outside the show. The support, 84 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 1: the encouragement, like the friendships, Like we all encourage each other, 85 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 1: we promote each other, we chat and gossip and we're 86 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: actually friends. I know people probably I don't know if 87 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 1: they don't believe it or it's just taboo, but we 88 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 1: really are and it's really cool. Yeah, that is cool 89 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: because you don't always hear that with reality Showcase definitely 90 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 1: not with reality shows. You always hear like the drama 91 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: that goes on or like, you know, you can kind 92 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:30,359 Speaker 1: of tell sometimes like people are friending for this show, 93 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 1: you know, like oh, this group of girls or oh 94 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:34,919 Speaker 1: we we're part of this group. And it's like, but 95 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,119 Speaker 1: we don't see you hanging out like outside the show. 96 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 1: I don't get to be there because a lot of 97 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 1: them are in l A. But there's a lot of 98 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,400 Speaker 1: pictures of us hanging out. You know. We constantly on 99 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: Instagram live, but constantly our video chat, texting each other, 100 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: face timing each other. It's true connections for real m. 101 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 1: So I would love to hear more just about your 102 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: strategy for trying to win the game, which of course 103 00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 1: you ultimately were successful at. So can you tell us 104 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: more about your decision to play as your husband Trevor? 105 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: Was that always the plan? So I'm a social butterfly, 106 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 1: Like I'm the most social probably out of like almost 107 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,039 Speaker 1: all my friends, like maybe one, like we're on the 108 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,280 Speaker 1: same level. But I'm extremely social. I get along with 109 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,040 Speaker 1: everybody anywhere. Any time I turned a boring time, it's 110 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: a fun time. So I wanted to go on as myself. 111 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,599 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna go on as myself. 112 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 1: We're gonna have a great time. People gonna love me. 113 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,320 Speaker 1: But as I was thinking about it, you know, only 114 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 1: the first season was out, and I'm just like season two, 115 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 1: which would be the one that I was applying for, 116 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: it's definitely going to be much different. They're gonna bring 117 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: out all the works, and people are gonna come in 118 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 1: with strategy and wanting to win. So I just feel like, 119 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:50,120 Speaker 1: based off of my own social media, my own dynamic 120 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: in life with other people, Like I'm not about drama, 121 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,359 Speaker 1: but I somehow gets sucked into it just being a woman, 122 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: being a female, it's very difficult. So I'm like, that's 123 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 1: probably not the best move. And then you know, I 124 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: was just staring at my husband and I'm like, I 125 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: think he would be great, Like people love him, like 126 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: even when he does wrong, He's still an angel in 127 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: everybody's eyes. I'm just like, oh yeah, I definitely have 128 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 1: to try to go and ask him. And I think 129 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:17,480 Speaker 1: I can get further along being him than being myself, 130 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: because for some reason, men aren't sucked into drama as 131 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 1: much as women are. Also because I just feel like 132 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 1: I wanted to portray the single father aspect, especially as 133 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,280 Speaker 1: like a black man, because I just think that they 134 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 1: don't get enough credit. Yeah, and I was definitely really 135 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 1: impressed by the binder that y'all came up with. This 136 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 1: seems like before you win in Can you tell us 137 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: more about that binder? Oh? Yes, we call it the 138 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 1: Catfish Bible. We since come up with the name hashtag 139 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: Catfish Bible. Everything is in there. It's like how to 140 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 1: Be a Man dot com. Like it's crazy. I have 141 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 1: sports in their haircuts, brands of cologns and brands of alcohol, 142 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 1: different brands of cars. Like I was not trying to 143 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 1: get caught up at all at all. I have so 144 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 1: much sports stuff in there. I since forgot it all, 145 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:08,120 Speaker 1: but I still have the book, so maybe I'll go 146 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,600 Speaker 1: through that one day. Yeah, what I mean, they did 147 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: throw a couple of curveballs this season, because you know 148 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: there were the challenges, right, which is how what's his 149 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:20,680 Speaker 1: name got caught up with the makeup challenge? Yeah, it 150 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 1: was very obvious, like I don't think that this was 151 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: a woman doing this. Yeah. You know what's funny about 152 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: that challenge is people were really onto me, And I 153 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,600 Speaker 1: was surprised because I thought it was just like an 154 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 1: arts and craft thing for me. I didn't really see 155 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 1: it as Oh, I didn't makeup so well because I 156 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 1: do make up. I didn't put any eyeshadow, I didn't 157 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: really do anything that I would do for my normal face. 158 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 1: And because Jack Emily's makeup was so bad, it kind 159 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: of overshadowed my work, which I think helped me out. Obviously, 160 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 1: you just reminded me of him for it. For Jack 161 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 1: for Eman, oh gosh, it was such a bad job, 162 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,679 Speaker 1: I know, and he was crying. Oh my god, I 163 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: feel so bad. Yeah, And there wasn't anything that you 164 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 1: could have known, right, because I mean, I think, like 165 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 1: you mentioned, you anticipated that some things would be different, 166 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 1: but I don't think anybody anticipated that you would have 167 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,559 Speaker 1: these challenges that had the potential to like out you 168 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 1: as being a catfish exactly like you don't know what 169 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: to expect when you go in there at all. Like, 170 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 1: even if you try to compare it to season one, 171 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 1: it was completely different, right, right, And how long is 172 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 1: the filming? How long were you all there? I want 173 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 1: to say it was like four to six weeks, probably 174 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:40,599 Speaker 1: somewhere in between. Yeah, a long time. We had a 175 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:43,880 Speaker 1: quarantine two weeks beforehand, and you know, the filming takes 176 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 1: up time, and yeah, it was quite a long time. 177 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 1: And so this was already Wow, COVID nineteen had started, 178 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: so you likely had already been kind of quarantining at home. 179 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: So what was that like? Kind of having isolation, but 180 00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 1: just in a different situation, you know. At for I'm 181 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 1: not gonna lie, it felt peaceful because I was always 182 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 1: with my daughter seven thanks twenty four seven. Even my 183 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 1: husband I think at some point he wanted up going 184 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 1: back to work, so he had a little break and 185 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: it was just me and her. Not listen. You know, 186 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:19,200 Speaker 1: I love my little girl and I love her so much. 187 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 1: But at the same time, it was definitely a breath 188 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 1: of fresh air to just be able to like take 189 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,960 Speaker 1: a bath by myself and like work out and sleep 190 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 1: whenever I want and not have to worry about like 191 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: really anything like taking care of another little human. And 192 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 1: then obviously, of course, I mean I always missed her. 193 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 1: I still missed her, but then it just kind of 194 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: started getting like, Okay, I really would like to have 195 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: some people interaction now, but the game started. So then 196 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,520 Speaker 1: that really helped me to like stay focused in the game, 197 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: like to focus almost right, right, So what kinds of 198 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,200 Speaker 1: tools did you use to kind of, you know, cope 199 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 1: with being isolated. We had a lot of downtime, but 200 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: we also did not have a lot of downtime. I 201 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: don't know how to make that makes sense, but whenever 202 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 1: you're filming something, it's it's a lot of like get 203 00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:10,839 Speaker 1: ready and weight type of thing. The filming process takes 204 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: a while itself. So any downtime that I had, like 205 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 1: I was really like just making sure my makeup was cute, 206 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 1: my wigs were cute, and I had them sitting on 207 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,960 Speaker 1: my head properly. You know, I was doing puzzles, but 208 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 1: a lot of times I was literally staring at the 209 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 1: TV like, Okay, who's out to get me? Who do 210 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 1: I need to be worried about? Who's really my friend? 211 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 1: Who cannot really trust? Who's loyal to me? Like I 212 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 1: was just really focused on the game. Like I mean 213 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 1: when I say I came in to really win and 214 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 1: try my hardest, that's exactly what I came to do. 215 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 1: M Yeah, that became very clear, very quickly. So you 216 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 1: already mentioned that in being observant of season one and 217 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 1: knowing like that they would likely up the anti and 218 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:55,200 Speaker 1: season two, and thinking about like how women are often 219 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 1: perceiving I'd like to go a little deeper in thinking 220 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:00,120 Speaker 1: about black women, particularly the perception, you know, because we 221 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 1: saw last season Karen, who was a plus size black 222 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 1: woman into the game as Mercedes, who was a bisexual 223 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: Black woman but had more kind of conventionally attractive features. 224 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 1: And I'm wondering if any of that kind of played 225 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: into your mind about like how black women might be 226 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 1: perceived in the circle. I'm a black woman, so if 227 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: I would have came in as myself, that's one of 228 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 1: the main reasons why I didn't want to, because, you know, 229 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 1: being a black woman, like, it's so many stigmas around it. 230 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: If you say something that's a little bit too honest, 231 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 1: you can be considered aggressive. But then if you're sitting 232 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 1: there crying or you know, you just let out some emotion. 233 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,560 Speaker 1: It's Oh, they're too emotional. It's like you kind of 234 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: can't win just as a black woman in general. And 235 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 1: I just would have seen even bigger challenges coming in 236 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,719 Speaker 1: as myself. They would have looked at my pictures and 237 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 1: would be like, oh, she stuck up, like just on 238 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: my Instagram, Oh you look like you know, you have 239 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,200 Speaker 1: your restling bitch face all the time. And I'm like, 240 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 1: I actually smile all the time. But Okay. People have 241 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 1: certain statements on being a black woman, and I just 242 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: I didn't want to worry too much about that. I 243 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 1: wanted to really just like stay true to the game 244 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: and stay focused on the game and not have to 245 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,800 Speaker 1: worry about constantly like defending myself as a black woman 246 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah, I mean I speaking to some of 247 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,440 Speaker 1: what you're sharing. We saw some of that, I think 248 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 1: with Terrelisia this season, right, So this whole thing with 249 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:29,080 Speaker 1: her in Savannah, I think kind of got wildly blown 250 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:33,200 Speaker 1: out of proportion. Absolutely, that whole situation insanely blown out 251 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,800 Speaker 1: of proportion. And it's like, how far are we after 252 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:38,560 Speaker 1: the show and people are still constantly, Oh, I'm seam 253 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:42,080 Speaker 1: tar Relisha, I'm team Savannah, you know, ter Relisha is 254 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,320 Speaker 1: such a sweetheart. It's so funny, like she's so sweet. 255 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,400 Speaker 1: I mean, they're both sweet. I love them both. But 256 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:51,079 Speaker 1: I think that because tar Relisha is a black woman, 257 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 1: black people in general, I want to say, like, I 258 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 1: just feel like black women are held to a different 259 00:13:55,640 --> 00:14:01,960 Speaker 1: standard than other races, and for her, she was looked 260 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:06,960 Speaker 1: at as being quote unquote aggressive, even though I don't 261 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,880 Speaker 1: necessary thing she was. She just looked at completely different 262 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: than Savannah was looked at. I get this right, because 263 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,120 Speaker 1: you know, I know that usually when like it's us 264 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 1: in one other black women in the space, like there 265 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 1: is a kinship that we feel like this wanting to connect, 266 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 1: and it seems like you were trying really hard to 267 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: do that with kid without like letting her know that 268 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:31,040 Speaker 1: you were also another black woman. Absolutely, when I got 269 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 1: the chance to finally talk to Terali Sha and Cat, 270 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: I spoke to both of them at the same time. 271 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 1: That's why I was like, you know what, let's bring 272 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 1: our beautiful black queens together, because I know that really 273 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,640 Speaker 1: should been through a lot, and I know that that 274 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,800 Speaker 1: was hard on her. You know, we only saw what 275 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 1: we saw on our side, But I can't imagine especially 276 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 1: like being on TV like that would have been just 277 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,360 Speaker 1: very difficult for her to go through and process. And 278 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 1: then even after the fact, the backlash that she was 279 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 1: going to get. But I wanted to give her a 280 00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,920 Speaker 1: fair chance, and yeah, I was trying to connect with 281 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,000 Speaker 1: how can I let them know, like, girl, I got 282 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,280 Speaker 1: your back because after because I'm one of you without 283 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:09,720 Speaker 1: saying I'm one of your right, Yeah, so I had 284 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 1: to pull out the works and bring my daughter into it. 285 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 1: Um yeah, but definitely, and you can tell that we 286 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:18,480 Speaker 1: definitely connected, all of us. It's really is actually one 287 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,640 Speaker 1: of the people that I speak to the most. Um 288 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 1: and Cat you can tell. Even she said it on 289 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,400 Speaker 1: the show. She's like, You're one of the people that 290 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 1: I had the most natural connection with. So she was 291 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 1: talking to Charber, but you know, you were talking to 292 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,000 Speaker 1: me as another black woman, you know, like you felt 293 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 1: that natural connection because we're the same. Yeah. Yeah, And 294 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,080 Speaker 1: it does feel like you were doing a masterful job. 295 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 1: I think of like thinking on your feet really quickly 296 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 1: and kind of translating between yourself and Trevor, like still 297 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 1: making it believable that it was coming from a guy. 298 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: Thank you. It was a little bit difficult but yeah, 299 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,480 Speaker 1: we got through it more from my conversation with the 300 00:15:54,560 --> 00:16:06,440 Speaker 1: Lisa right after the break, So I am curious just 301 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 1: to hear more about like how the whole interaction is 302 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,400 Speaker 1: when you are you know, there's so much you're interpreting 303 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 1: only based on like texts and pictures. Do you feel 304 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,680 Speaker 1: like you were able to kind of feel the energy 305 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 1: behind the words that people were sharing. Well, that's why 306 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:25,480 Speaker 1: it takes so long to have these conversations, because when 307 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 1: you read something, you know, you interpret it and you're 308 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,840 Speaker 1: reading it out loud and you're trying to understand what 309 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,920 Speaker 1: the other person is saying, and then you have to 310 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 1: now respond and you have to make it in a 311 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:39,560 Speaker 1: way that they can understand and interpret what you're saying 312 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 1: the way you want them to receive it. Um. So 313 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:46,760 Speaker 1: it was so difficult because I was there thinking like, Okay, 314 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,760 Speaker 1: if I say it this way, it sounds more feminine. 315 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 1: But then if I say it this way, it sounds 316 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,560 Speaker 1: like I'm trying too hard. It was very confusing and 317 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 1: very difficult, and there were so many times I was like, 318 00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 1: dang man. If I was myself, I could just be 319 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 1: like yeah, girl, yes, just like tell me to see 320 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,680 Speaker 1: like it's just so easy when you're going at yourself. 321 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,159 Speaker 1: And that's what I'm saying, Like, I don't know why 322 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: people hate catfish is, but we don't get enough credit, Okay, 323 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,440 Speaker 1: Like we have to go in from jump and like 324 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 1: it's just so difficult from the beginning, and then you 325 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,439 Speaker 1: have these challenges that are like out to get you. 326 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,360 Speaker 1: I don't care what anybody says, they're out to get us. 327 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,560 Speaker 1: Like we have it very difficult. I mean when you 328 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 1: come prepared, okay, you can do anything you put your 329 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:34,879 Speaker 1: mind to. Yeah, well you definitely weren't prepared. That's thank you. 330 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:39,040 Speaker 1: So between your large social media following and your experience 331 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 1: on The Circle, what kinds of things do you think 332 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:44,920 Speaker 1: you've learned about perception and popularity. I feel like I've 333 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: kind of always felt this way. I'm not a person 334 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:52,919 Speaker 1: that really judges other people, so I am hoping to 335 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,280 Speaker 1: basically change the minds of other people. This is why 336 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,440 Speaker 1: The Circle is such a great show, because I think 337 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 1: it's um a place where people can see how and 338 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 1: why others are judged based off their social media personal personality. 339 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,760 Speaker 1: But then in the background, you know they're this completely 340 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: different person and it's just like you can't really judge 341 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,240 Speaker 1: a book by its cover, and that's like the oldest 342 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 1: thing ever, Like, you can't judge a book by its cover, 343 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,000 Speaker 1: and even I'm guilty of it at times, you know, 344 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 1: Like there was times in the Circle I was judging 345 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,400 Speaker 1: other people and I'm like, Okay, Jack, definitely, I mean 346 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 1: I knew Jack was a guy, and I was right, 347 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,720 Speaker 1: but still, you know, still, and I was judging with Courtney. 348 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,280 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, Courtney was shady and he was doing 349 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:38,879 Speaker 1: this and I didn't know like the backstory behind it. 350 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,119 Speaker 1: So I think, you know, that's something I'm still learning. 351 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:46,119 Speaker 1: But you know, I tried my best not to judge 352 00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 1: other people based off their social media and I'm hoping 353 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,119 Speaker 1: that that's one thing that a lot of people learned 354 00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:55,280 Speaker 1: from the circle, learned from myself, and just like being 355 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,760 Speaker 1: able to get to know me more as a person 356 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 1: as opposed to just what you see on my profile. 357 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 1: So are there other ways that being in the circle 358 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 1: has changed your approach to like your own social media platforms. 359 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 1: I'm definitely going on Instagram Live now, and I do 360 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,640 Speaker 1: love that feature, like just being able to go live 361 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 1: on any platform in general, because they get to see 362 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,800 Speaker 1: the real, real version of me, and I used to 363 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: always be terrified of it. So I think the circle 364 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,879 Speaker 1: really helped me with my own confidence and like building 365 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 1: my own self esteem and encouraging and motivating myself because 366 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,399 Speaker 1: nobody was there to do that for me. Usually I 367 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 1: have Trevor to do that, and he wasn't there. But 368 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 1: in general, like just on social media for sure, because 369 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,639 Speaker 1: I would never go on any type of life, it 370 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,159 Speaker 1: would always have to be recorded. I always have to 371 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 1: use a filter. I always have to make sure I'm 372 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,679 Speaker 1: looking good, I'm posting the best picture. I hope to 373 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: make sure, like you know, my stomach is held in, 374 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,879 Speaker 1: my booty looks good, all of that stuff. And now 375 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,440 Speaker 1: it's just like, you know what, You're either gonna love 376 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,960 Speaker 1: me or hate me. That's up to you to decide, 377 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 1: and there's nothing that I can do about it, Like 378 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,880 Speaker 1: I can't somebody to like me. So you're either gonna 379 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:04,480 Speaker 1: like what you said or not, and I'm not gonna 380 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 1: worry about that. So Instagram Live or just a live 381 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,520 Speaker 1: in general on social media platform gives people the option 382 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,919 Speaker 1: to see the real, real version of you, and I 383 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 1: think that actually makes a better connection with your audience 384 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 1: because they don't feel like they're so out of reach. 385 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,600 Speaker 1: That's so interesting because I often hear the opposite of that, right, 386 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 1: like people feel like they have to kind of be 387 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 1: all made up in all of these things to be 388 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 1: on I G. Live. But I guess when you've been 389 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 1: on TV, then like I G. Live is almost like, okay, 390 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,240 Speaker 1: well life, I definitely can do this because I've been 391 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:40,720 Speaker 1: in front of like twenty cameras waking up you so 392 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,359 Speaker 1: oh girl. I had my bonnet on. It was days 393 00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:44,919 Speaker 1: that I didn't have makeup, and I was looking at 394 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,040 Speaker 1: myself and I was just like, oh, why do I 395 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,720 Speaker 1: look like that? But at the end of the day, 396 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,520 Speaker 1: nobody even cared. Like I saw one comment about my 397 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 1: appearance not being up to par I was just saying 398 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:58,959 Speaker 1: that I had, like, um, a muffin top and and 399 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 1: it was like, Okay, I don't care. Like my body 400 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 1: is my body and I'm not changing it for anybody else. 401 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 1: So that's that. But that was the only comment. And 402 00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 1: when I watched the show, I was like, oh my god, 403 00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:12,880 Speaker 1: I need makeup. Why was I sitting there in my bonnet, 404 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 1: Like what was I doing? Not one person said anything 405 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,879 Speaker 1: about that, And it's so funny because you know, I 406 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,520 Speaker 1: was worried about that, and I'm watching myself criticizing and 407 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 1: judging myself, and everybody still hit me with the girl 408 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 1: you sort of look after look like you're so pretty 409 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:31,720 Speaker 1: and giving me just like the most nicest feedback ever. Um. 410 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 1: So it's just so funny because we judge ourselves the 411 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,160 Speaker 1: hardest and people don't care about that like they want. 412 00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 1: Because I think that that was very real, Like how 413 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,760 Speaker 1: many times are we just like sitting around on our 414 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,480 Speaker 1: solfa in our bond is right, Like you were strategizing 415 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,360 Speaker 1: trying to win a game. You didn't have to be 416 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:49,000 Speaker 1: in full glam all the time exactly, And people just 417 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 1: want to connect to you, you know, like the more 418 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,119 Speaker 1: real you are, the bigger the connection they're gonna have 419 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:57,240 Speaker 1: with you. More from my conversation with the Lisa right 420 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:12,320 Speaker 1: after the break, So you actually discovered a second pregnancy 421 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 1: while you were on the Circle. Can you say more 422 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 1: of that and how that maybe impacted your experience on 423 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:21,760 Speaker 1: the show. Yeah, so yeah, I found out while I 424 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:26,680 Speaker 1: was filming, and I just I didn't want to think 425 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 1: about it because I didn't want to mess up my game. 426 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,600 Speaker 1: Like when I say I was fully invested in trying 427 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,479 Speaker 1: to win this game. I'm very competitive, so, like my 428 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 1: heart wanted to stay in the game no matter what. 429 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 1: And it's not like I was gonna be able to 430 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,440 Speaker 1: do anything. It's not like I was gonna be able 431 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 1: to have like this long drawn out conversation with Trevor, 432 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,359 Speaker 1: my family or anything. I believe that the producers would 433 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,879 Speaker 1: have let me call my husband, but I chose not to. 434 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 1: I just held that in and tried to keep on 435 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 1: going with the game and push that to the back 436 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,600 Speaker 1: of my head. Although it's very hard to do. It 437 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,560 Speaker 1: just really amplify the fact that, girl, you need to 438 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:08,120 Speaker 1: win because now it's not only one child that you're 439 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,800 Speaker 1: you know, trying to win for and build this beautiful 440 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:16,159 Speaker 1: life for. You know, it's too So it definitely amped 441 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 1: up my game and my competition, and you see, like 442 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 1: towards it, and I had came up with the whole 443 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 1: trifacor plan and I was just like, no, we have 444 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 1: to do something because we cannot fall to the back 445 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:31,359 Speaker 1: burner on this. Yeah, in some ways, it sounds like 446 00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:34,240 Speaker 1: it really motivated you to like become even more strategic. 447 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,080 Speaker 1: My whole game plan throughout the entire show was to 448 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,360 Speaker 1: not be seen as a threat and not be seen 449 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,439 Speaker 1: as a weak player, Like you want people to like 450 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,440 Speaker 1: you enough so that you can write it out and 451 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,440 Speaker 1: make it to the end. They trust you that they're 452 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,200 Speaker 1: going to keep you there because they believe that you're 453 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,680 Speaker 1: going to keep them safe and as well, they also 454 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,360 Speaker 1: think that you're not going to be able to beat them. 455 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,639 Speaker 1: So that was my game plan. But then when it 456 00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:00,040 Speaker 1: comes towards the end, it's like, hold up, now you 457 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,760 Speaker 1: have to step it up and try to figure out 458 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,760 Speaker 1: who will actually beat you or could beat you, and 459 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:11,719 Speaker 1: what can you do to take it home. Yeah, And 460 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,159 Speaker 1: I think especially like finding out that I was pregnant, 461 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,280 Speaker 1: therapy was like okay, you have to do something now, 462 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 1: Like you can't just skate through this because you're not 463 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 1: gonna win. M h. Yeah. There seems like there's just 464 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 1: so much strategy involved on multiple levels because there is 465 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,520 Speaker 1: the whole like okay, how do you manage the relationships, 466 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,480 Speaker 1: but you're also thinking about how other people are going 467 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,239 Speaker 1: to rank others when it's time for the ratings at 468 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 1: the you know, end of each episode. Absolutely, and it 469 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,639 Speaker 1: towards the end, I mean, because we don't get to 470 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,320 Speaker 1: see people, and we don't get to have super long, 471 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 1: drawn out conversations, and we actually don't really get to 472 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:51,000 Speaker 1: talk about strategy in detail. You know, like we can say, hey, 473 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,920 Speaker 1: we're having our alliance, like protect me, I'll protect you, 474 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,120 Speaker 1: we'll go to the end. You can say things like that, 475 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,439 Speaker 1: but you know, obviously you're not gonna say, oh, I'm 476 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,840 Speaker 1: gonna rach you number one, or I'm gonna rate this 477 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:05,080 Speaker 1: person last, and like you can't go into detail like that, 478 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,840 Speaker 1: so you never really know who has your back and 479 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 1: who doesn't have your back. You never really know who's 480 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,399 Speaker 1: playing from the heart, who's playing a strategic game. Like 481 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,320 Speaker 1: in the end, you see Courtney, he's like, listen, I'm 482 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,920 Speaker 1: trying to win. So my biggest threats my best friend, 483 00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like you would never think 484 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,000 Speaker 1: that he was going to do that, but then you 485 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,600 Speaker 1: have River over here, like nope, I'm gonna play with 486 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,360 Speaker 1: my heart and my best friend is gonna be number one. 487 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,199 Speaker 1: It's like you just don't know. It's so crazy, so 488 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,840 Speaker 1: many different aspects to a game like this and the 489 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 1: strategy behind it, because you don't know if your strategy 490 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,960 Speaker 1: is working or if it's not working for sure, I 491 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:44,440 Speaker 1: thought the drifactor was gonna work, and as I come 492 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:48,879 Speaker 1: up with a new one. So you know, your baby 493 00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,640 Speaker 1: has been a huge part of like everything, even when 494 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,399 Speaker 1: you were pretending to be your husband, your daughter was 495 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,800 Speaker 1: at the forefront. And now your second child, and you've 496 00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:00,440 Speaker 1: been doing a lot of documenting your motherhood experience. Can 497 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 1: you say more about like why that is so important 498 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,000 Speaker 1: to you and would impact you think it might have 499 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:09,359 Speaker 1: on other parents. Absolutely, I think it's very important for 500 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:13,080 Speaker 1: me to share my experience because people all have different experiences, 501 00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:17,560 Speaker 1: but there are very similar experiences and and people need 502 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,359 Speaker 1: somebody that they can relate to and know that they're 503 00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:23,040 Speaker 1: not alone in certain things, like for example, right now, 504 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:27,160 Speaker 1: I'm going through a lot of pelvic pain. This pregnancy. 505 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,639 Speaker 1: The end part is very difficult for me, and the 506 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:33,600 Speaker 1: fact that I'm able to talk to the world about 507 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,399 Speaker 1: it and it helps me as well. I'm learning as well. 508 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,000 Speaker 1: People come back to me with comm It's like, oh girl, 509 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,640 Speaker 1: maybe you should do this. This helped me, this, This 510 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,639 Speaker 1: didn't work for me, Try this, you know. So not 511 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,639 Speaker 1: only am I sharing my tips and my tricks and 512 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,600 Speaker 1: letting people know like this is real, You're not alone. 513 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,880 Speaker 1: In this I'm also getting the same feedback. I love 514 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,960 Speaker 1: the fact that social media allows us to do that, 515 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 1: but it's it's just very important. I think, like you 516 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:03,359 Speaker 1: just never know who needs a bit of encouragement, advice 517 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,800 Speaker 1: or motivation, and especially being a mom, especially being a 518 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:10,160 Speaker 1: black mom, especially, you know, there's just so many different 519 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:13,360 Speaker 1: aspects of especially being a wife, especially having a toddler 520 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,280 Speaker 1: already it's just a second pregnancy or whatever the case 521 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,800 Speaker 1: may be. There's people that can relate to you on 522 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,480 Speaker 1: different levels, and you never know what level that is 523 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,159 Speaker 1: and how you're helping somebody. Yeah, I mean us sharing 524 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 1: our stories is bound to make somebody else feel like 525 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:31,159 Speaker 1: they're not so alone exactly exactly. I love it. I 526 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,639 Speaker 1: love it. So what suggestions would you have for somebody 527 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:38,119 Speaker 1: who might be contemplating applying for a season three of 528 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:46,160 Speaker 1: The Circle? My suggestion is to have a game plan 529 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:50,199 Speaker 1: and just know that it's going to change. Yeah, like 530 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,239 Speaker 1: when you get you know, if you get on it, 531 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,679 Speaker 1: good luck. Just remember that things change and you have 532 00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:59,000 Speaker 1: to be able to think really quickly. You just have 533 00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,960 Speaker 1: to go with the flow, and you can't be dwelling 534 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,440 Speaker 1: on one thing because in the blink of an eye, 535 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 1: it's gonna change to something completely different, and then you're 536 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,880 Speaker 1: gonna lose out if you are not able to adapt. 537 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,280 Speaker 1: Perfect Thank you so much for them, And where can 538 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 1: we find you online? It sounds like you love Instagram. 539 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,800 Speaker 1: That's where you spend a lot of your time. Oh girl, 540 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,959 Speaker 1: I'm everywhere, you know. I actually I feel like I 541 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,359 Speaker 1: feel like I'm everywhere. It's actually a little bit overwhelming. 542 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 1: I'm not used to having um such a big platform, 543 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,520 Speaker 1: but I am on Instagram quite often. I do a 544 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:34,159 Speaker 1: lot on Instagram, So with your handle there, my handle 545 00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,680 Speaker 1: is at least a unique. L E. E s a 546 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,560 Speaker 1: Unique and I also have the family page on there 547 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 1: at it's the Saints, and I'm on YouTube. I do 548 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:49,320 Speaker 1: find a lot of connections with people and actually friends 549 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,120 Speaker 1: off of people who watch my YouTube videos. So my 550 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:55,520 Speaker 1: YouTube channel is the same thing, Lisa Unique. L E 551 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,960 Speaker 1: s a Unique and we have a family channel with 552 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:01,440 Speaker 1: the Saints family as well. I'm also on TikTok. I'm 553 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,480 Speaker 1: also on Twitter. Everything is basically least unique. If you 554 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 1: look that up you'll find me perfect. Well, Thank you 555 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,800 Speaker 1: so much, just spinning sometimes today with us At least 556 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,200 Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. Oh, I appreciate it was so 557 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:18,200 Speaker 1: much fun. I'm so glad A Lisa was able to 558 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,240 Speaker 1: join us today. To stay connected to her and learn 559 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,040 Speaker 1: more about her work, visit the show notes at Therapy 560 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,560 Speaker 1: for Black Girls dot Com slash Session to thirteen, and 561 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,720 Speaker 1: don't forget to text two of your girls and tell 562 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 1: them to check out the episode as well. If you're 563 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,720 Speaker 1: looking for a therapist in your area, be sure to 564 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 1: check out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls 565 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,720 Speaker 1: dot com slash directory. And if you want to continue 566 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,280 Speaker 1: digging into this topic or just be in community with 567 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:45,480 Speaker 1: other sisters, come on over and join us in the 568 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 1: Sister Circle. It's our cozy corner of the Internet design 569 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,240 Speaker 1: just for black women. You can join us at community 570 00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 1: dot Therapy for Black Girls dot com. Thank you all 571 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,280 Speaker 1: so much for joining me again this week. I look 572 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 1: forward to continuing this conversation with you all real soon. 573 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:07,760 Speaker 1: Take it care, bl