1 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,959 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:23,759 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello, welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 1: New listeners, old listeners. It's so wonderful to have you here. 6 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for tuning in for a really 7 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 1: exciting episode. So fun career anxiety we absolutely stoked. Note 8 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 1: in all seriousness, it is actually one of my favorites. 9 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: I know I say that every time, but every time 10 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 1: I get the opportunity to really dive into a topic 11 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: like this, especially one that is relevant to my life, 12 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,560 Speaker 1: which is what I always try and do is find 13 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 1: something that I can personally relate to, it is just 14 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: such a valuable experience. So that was the case with 15 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 1: this episode. And before we get into the content, I 16 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:06,560 Speaker 1: just want to thank everyone who has subscribed recently. I've 17 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,399 Speaker 1: gotten a lot of new paid subscribers as well. For 18 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 1: those of you who don't know about this option, I 19 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 1: publish one exclusive episode every month. It's normally about an 20 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: hour long and it's more of a chartty episode. Maybe 21 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 1: you really like when you hear people talking to their 22 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: friends about what's going on in their life, or getting 23 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,039 Speaker 1: a special guest on, or answering your questions. That's kind 24 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 1: of the content that I like to put out there. 25 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,399 Speaker 1: So if you haven't already, it would be amazing if 26 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,400 Speaker 1: you checked it out, No pressure, just if you really 27 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 1: love the show. It's a really easy way to support 28 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: me and let me continue doing what I love. I've 29 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: also recorded this intro about seven times today because I'm 30 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 1: all over the place. I'm all over the place, so 31 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: please excuse me if I mumble and jumble my words. 32 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: I hope you can forgive me this one time because 33 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: it's been a long day. But we're here to talk 34 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: about work. We're here to talk about what it feels 35 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 1: like when we're not, you know, succeeding, what it feels 36 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: like when we feel like we're behind. I think we've 37 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 1: all experienced this sense of anxiety to do with our 38 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 1: work and to do with our careers and how we 39 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:15,000 Speaker 1: make money. It is a terrible feeling, that sense of anxiety, 40 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 1: So definitely something I think is incredibly valuable to discuss 41 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 1: on a podcast that is focused in our twenties, and 42 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,519 Speaker 1: during this decade so many of us are starting our 43 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 1: first jobs, or entering into our careers. So this feeling 44 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 1: of unease is definitely one that I would expect many 45 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 1: of us to have perhaps already experienced, or to experience 46 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: one day. And I also just think since most of 47 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: our you know, I think most of us spend a 48 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,600 Speaker 1: great deal of our lives working or at work, it's 49 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 1: really inevitable that it will play a pretty key role 50 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: in shape shaping our levels of happiness and our overall 51 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:57,519 Speaker 1: psychology and sense of well being. And maybe you're listening 52 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: to this today and you feel like you're not at 53 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: the point you should be. You should be more ahead 54 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 1: or have some idea of what you want to do. 55 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: Maybe your career isn't fulfilling. You could be doing more 56 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 1: or something you love more, something that lights your fire. 57 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: Perhaps you're stuck in a bit of a rut, your 58 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,800 Speaker 1: productivity levels are an all time low, or you've reached 59 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 1: a dead end, and you're feeling really stuck or like 60 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,600 Speaker 1: a bit of a failure at what you're doing, whether 61 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 1: you're currently working or studying towards a dream career or job, 62 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:30,359 Speaker 1: and you're just not sure if it's what really motivates you. 63 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: This is what that episode is really trying to nail down. 64 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: I think there are so many ways we can feel 65 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 1: like the career and professional aspects of our lives and 66 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: our aspirations and not what they should be, and are 67 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 1: causing us unease or anxiety, fear, unnecessary worry. Especially in 68 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 1: this day and age, the opportunities for our professional and 69 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 1: working lives a seemingly endless. So how do we know 70 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 1: that we're pursuing the right part and doing what we 71 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,360 Speaker 1: actually love to do. There are so many points of 72 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: comparison today for what we should be doing, what others 73 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 1: are doing, and how we might be falling behind, perceiving 74 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:17,839 Speaker 1: ourselves as failures, or feeling super lost. So if this 75 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: is you, hopefully we can dispel some of that anxiety 76 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: today and remind ourselves collectively, all of you listening right now, 77 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:32,599 Speaker 1: that life is long, life is more than work, and 78 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 1: there are opportunities in your future that I think none 79 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 1: of us could ever fathom and it will surprise you 80 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 1: and allow you to live your dream life, maybe even 81 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: better than your dream life. And above all, we're going 82 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,919 Speaker 1: to talk about the psychology behind feeling anxious when it 83 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: comes to what are we actually doing? What does our 84 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 1: job mean for us. What is it about work and 85 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: our careers that can be such a sensitive and difficult, 86 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 1: difficult topic, And why is it that our twenties. I 87 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:06,160 Speaker 1: really do believe our twenties are so important for dispelling 88 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 1: career anxiety and creating a really healthy foundation for a 89 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: balanced work life. So very excited to jump into it, 90 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 1: and thank you again for tuning in so personally and 91 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:26,720 Speaker 1: from personal experience. I think it is really easy for 92 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 1: us to get caught up in social comparison when it 93 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 1: comes to our careers and when it comes to our 94 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: working lives. It's I think comparison in general is a 95 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 1: huge killer of joy, and especially when it's linked to 96 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: things like our professional capacity and our dreams and our 97 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 1: career and working motivations, it can really make us feel 98 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 1: quite awful and quite unsettled. There is a really amazing 99 00:05:56,800 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 1: theory to explain this, to explain why perhaps you today 100 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,839 Speaker 1: are looking around looking at people you graduated with, looking 101 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: at people in your cohort, looking at people you work with, 102 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: at your friends, and feeling like everyone else seems to 103 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,600 Speaker 1: be really happy with where they are and I'm not. 104 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: And this theory that explains is so perfectly is social 105 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 1: comparison theory, and it suggests that people value their own 106 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 1: personal and social and professional worth by assessing how they 107 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 1: compare to others by having a look around and almost 108 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 1: doing a quick equation or some quick math about am 109 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: I head here? Am I winning? Am I losing? What 110 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 1: are other people doing that I'm not? And, like I said, 111 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 1: that's such a killer of joy, especially in our working lives, 112 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 1: because there is this sense of competition, there is this 113 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 1: sense of acceleration and a hierarchy. And I think that 114 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:59,039 Speaker 1: that social comparison is only being elevated and only becoming 115 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:02,159 Speaker 1: more severe by the creation of social media for our 116 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 1: professional lives. I know LinkedIn. LinkedIn is a I think 117 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 1: a huge culprit in this more frequent and more prevalent 118 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 1: sense of unease when it comes to our working capacity. 119 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: You know, now people have the opportunity to not just 120 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,440 Speaker 1: show the highlight reel of their social lives and the 121 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 1: highlight reel of their day to day lives, but also 122 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 1: all the things that they're achieving, all the things that 123 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 1: they're doing, and curate that on like a public resume. 124 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: And I think if you have LinkedIn, maybe you have 125 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 1: this experience of checking up on people that you may 126 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: have gone to high school with, or people you met 127 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,040 Speaker 1: at UNI, or people who are in a similar career 128 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 1: path to you, and having that feeling of like, oh 129 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: my god, I am nowhere near where they are. I 130 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 1: have no idea what I'm doing. How did they land 131 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: such a fabulous job. They seem so happy, they seem 132 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: to have so much success. And that is social comparison 133 00:07:57,120 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 1: to a t We don't look at ourselves as singular beings, 134 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 1: and we don't appreciate our own accomplishments. We have to 135 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: kind of assess them in regards to others. And I 136 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: really think that there is this kind of sense of 137 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: expectation that we have to have it all together, especially 138 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,680 Speaker 1: when we're young. And I remember I went into my 139 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 1: final year of UNI with no internships. I wasn't obviously 140 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 1: working a job that I loved, and I had this 141 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: feeling like the career I'd always wanted, you know, working 142 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:32,240 Speaker 1: in politics or as a journalist, it wasn't really feeding 143 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:35,480 Speaker 1: my ambition. And everyone around me seemed to have these 144 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 1: massive goals and these incredible opportunities, and I couldn't grasp 145 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:43,920 Speaker 1: on to anything that felt permanent or meaningful in my life, 146 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:48,480 Speaker 1: especially in my career or in the professional sense of 147 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,560 Speaker 1: the world, and it was an awful feeling. I think 148 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:54,440 Speaker 1: it can be especially hard for those of us who 149 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:58,160 Speaker 1: have always been high achievers, always gotten really great grades, 150 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: been slightly ahead of the curve, and that social comparison 151 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 1: where we're looking around and seeing people doing amazing things 152 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 1: can be quite deadly and really undercut that sense of 153 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 1: personal accomplishment. But there were some really important lessons I 154 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: learned during that time. Firstly, absolutely everyone is faking it. 155 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,439 Speaker 1: I'm promising you, no one really knows what they're doing 156 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 1: with their career or where their aspirations are going to 157 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: take them, especially in our twenties. Our twenties are about 158 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:33,320 Speaker 1: learning and making mistakes. It's the Golden decade, the Forgotten decade, 159 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 1: the wayward decade, where you're actually allowed to quit, you're 160 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,679 Speaker 1: allowed to fail, you're allowed to try new things. Anyone 161 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,680 Speaker 1: who's not doing that is faking it. Honestly, I really 162 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:47,479 Speaker 1: do believe that. And Secondly, so many of the decisions 163 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: we make concerning our careers and our jobs and our 164 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 1: professional lives, I don't actually think because we actually want 165 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 1: to do them, or we feel like they'll make us happy, 166 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 1: you know, taking internships, applying for jobs that are going 167 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,920 Speaker 1: to pay us little and require more hours than we 168 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 1: want to give. You know, of course, there are some 169 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:10,319 Speaker 1: opportunities that are just incredible and we should definitely leap at. 170 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: But a lot of the time, the path that we 171 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 1: are on has in some way been selected for us 172 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: by those around us and by society, and it feels 173 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,440 Speaker 1: really natural to go along with the status quo and 174 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 1: what everyone else is doing, even when that might actually 175 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 1: make us unhappy. And third, in this amazing, huge world, 176 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,640 Speaker 1: there is always going to be someone who is doing 177 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 1: more than you, making more money than you, that is, 178 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 1: you know, better at their job than you, smarter than you, 179 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,320 Speaker 1: or at least it seems that way from their facade 180 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 1: and from their LinkedIn. But all of that really doesn't matter. 181 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: It really doesn't matter if you're feeling behind right now, 182 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: feeling a bit lost, feeling a bit stuck at a crossroads, 183 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 1: or maybe you're just simply unhappy with what you're doing. 184 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,959 Speaker 1: I just want to remind you, and I will remind 185 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:04,079 Speaker 1: you again. Society has repeatedly told us a narrative since childhood, 186 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 1: and especially in Western cultures, that work is way mortant 187 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:13,559 Speaker 1: than it ever should be that status and appearing successful 188 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: are going to make us happier. But time and time again, 189 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: across an ever increasing body of research, we can see 190 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:24,400 Speaker 1: that work and employment are really not the only drivers 191 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: of our happiness, but they can still cause us really 192 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 1: significant anxiety. And it's a really strange paradox. The thing 193 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 1: that doesn't actually tend to bring us the greatest happiness 194 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 1: can also bring us some of the greatest struggle and 195 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:44,320 Speaker 1: the greatest stress. Based on this survey from Anxiety Disorders 196 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 1: Association of America, whilst only about nine percent of individuals 197 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 1: are living with a diagnosed anxiety disorder something like general 198 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 1: anxiety disorder or a phobia, forty percent of people will 199 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:01,560 Speaker 1: experience ongoing stress or anxiety in their daily life that 200 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 1: is associated purely with their work or their careers. During 201 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: this episode, if my preamble hasn't given it away, we 202 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,840 Speaker 1: are going to talk about more than just work anxiety 203 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 1: or career anxiety, which is anxiety that's specifically associated with 204 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 1: the jobs we're doing now. But I thought that this 205 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 1: type of concern and some of the experiences that come 206 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 1: along with it, might be a really good place to start, 207 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:30,440 Speaker 1: because they really do have applicability across a spectrum of 208 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 1: worries that we're going to be discussing. And if you're 209 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 1: someone who is experiencing anxiety and even maybe a level 210 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:41,240 Speaker 1: of distress that's specifically associated with performing your task at 211 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 1: your job, attending your job, or going into work, you 212 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 1: might feel symptoms that are very similar to an anxiety disorder, 213 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 1: and symptoms that might be interrupting your life and making 214 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 1: you feel quite awful. Taking an unusual amount of time 215 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 1: off that is such a huge indicator that you might 216 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,679 Speaker 1: be dissatisfied with your work, focusing too much on the 217 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 1: negative aspects of your job, struggling to complete tasks, or 218 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 1: over reacting worrying too much. You might also feel a 219 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: lot of anticipatory anxiety before you go to work, and 220 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:20,080 Speaker 1: just a general sense of fatigue like something isn't right, Insomnia, 221 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 1: an exaggerated startle reaction, not being able to catch a breath. 222 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 1: I think if you have ever worked a job you've 223 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 1: hated or been in a work environment that was hostile, unpleasant, 224 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: you know, had really high stakes these experiences, these symptoms 225 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: might be very common to you, might be something that 226 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,000 Speaker 1: you know a lot about. For example, I used to 227 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 1: work at this steak restaurant when I was at Uni. 228 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:51,079 Speaker 1: Yes I'm a woman of many hats, and it became 229 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 1: such an unpleasant environment and was so awful and just 230 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:59,440 Speaker 1: like exhausting and draining that the few weeks before I quit, 231 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 1: I think I must called in sick at least three 232 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: to four times. And it's a really natural way of 233 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:09,000 Speaker 1: coping with anxiety. It's a really normal coping mechanism. When 234 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 1: something is unpleasant, it's avoidance. We're avoiding the thing, in 235 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 1: this case of work that makes us feel uncomfortable, and 236 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:20,680 Speaker 1: that's supernatural to do. And when you're avoiding work, I 237 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,920 Speaker 1: think that's a really clear sign that you're probably not 238 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:28,760 Speaker 1: very happy. You're probably not fulfilled or respected, and it's 239 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 1: time for a change. There's something in you that's really saying, hey, like, 240 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 1: this isn't for us. I know this is what's expected 241 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,720 Speaker 1: of us. I know I have these conflicting feelings about 242 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 1: why I'm here, But maybe this environment isn't for me 243 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 1: and maybe I would be better able to learn somewhere else. 244 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 1: When we talk about anxiety that is associated with work 245 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 1: and our careers, are these two other types of anxiety 246 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,400 Speaker 1: that I think are really important to talk about and 247 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 1: which don't really seem to get much attention or the 248 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: tension that I think they deserve. And these two types 249 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,240 Speaker 1: of anxiety that may occur in relation to our careers 250 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:13,120 Speaker 1: and our professional lives, learning anxiety and survival anxiety, and 251 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: these types of anxiety they act in tandem to either 252 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 1: motivate us to stay or to leave a job or 253 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 1: a career path. They're kind of these this inbuilt reactions 254 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: that's really directed towards the environments that we're most often in, 255 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 1: and especially our work environments. So I'm going to explain 256 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,800 Speaker 1: them a little bit now, and while I do, I 257 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: want you to think about the situation you might be 258 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 1: struggling with and how this might apply. So firstly, we 259 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: have learning anxiety, and this comes from being afraid to 260 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: try something new out of fear that it's going to 261 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 1: be too difficult, that we're going to look stupid, that 262 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 1: will have to part from old habits, that it's going 263 00:15:56,400 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 1: to be uncomfortable. And learning anxiety is what might stop 264 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:03,440 Speaker 1: you when you think about starting a new role, when 265 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 1: you think about leaving a toxic work environment, you know 266 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 1: you're going to have to learn something new You're going 267 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 1: to have to meet new people, you might not be 268 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 1: great at it, you might not have those solid relationships 269 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 1: to begin with. It's the fear that arises when you 270 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: realize you're you know, you might have to take a 271 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 1: risk to change your path and to achieve the goals 272 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,920 Speaker 1: that are related to your career and your professional life, 273 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 1: and it might not go perfectly. But on the flip side, 274 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 1: we have survival anxiety, and that is this horrible, sometimes 275 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:41,480 Speaker 1: not always, but no normally unpleasant realization that if you 276 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 1: want to make it maybe not that that's not the 277 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 1: right phrase, but if you really want to do something 278 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 1: that you love, if you really want to be in 279 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:54,080 Speaker 1: control of your career and your professional life, you're probably 280 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,760 Speaker 1: going to have to make a change. And this anxiety 281 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 1: is what propels you to maybe look for a new 282 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 1: job in the first place. It's that feeling of I 283 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,240 Speaker 1: actually really need to get out of here, because if 284 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,120 Speaker 1: I don't do it now, maybe I'll never leave. I'm 285 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,480 Speaker 1: just going to fade away. I'm going to be, you know, 286 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,880 Speaker 1: another fly on the wall at this workplace. And it's 287 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 1: the feeling, the anxious feeling that tells you it's really 288 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,199 Speaker 1: time to move on to something else, you know. I 289 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: think another word for it is restless, feat like it's survival. 290 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,080 Speaker 1: It's like we've you know, we've exhausted this resource. It's 291 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:29,560 Speaker 1: time to move on. So when your survival anxiety becomes 292 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:33,920 Speaker 1: a stronger force than you're learning anxiety, when your desire 293 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 1: to kind of move on and move upward is stronger 294 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 1: than that fear of failing and that fear of trying 295 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,280 Speaker 1: something new and maybe not getting it right. I think 296 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 1: that's when you're in the right place where you are 297 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 1: probably ready to move on. It's time to look for 298 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: a new job or consider a career shift. And this 299 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 1: example of that feeling of the push and pull of 300 00:17:55,600 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 1: staying or leaving an an unhappy workplace or an unsatisfy, 301 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:03,440 Speaker 1: dying job is such an important cross words. I think 302 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:07,680 Speaker 1: we all experience at some point. I'm sure most of you. 303 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,840 Speaker 1: You know foremost of you, it is an experience you 304 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 1: probably may have had. I don't think I can think 305 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 1: of anyone who has stayed in their job, you know, 306 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,080 Speaker 1: their first job, for their entire life, unless you're like 307 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,240 Speaker 1: a nun or something, and even if you're technically performing 308 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,800 Speaker 1: the same role like you're a barista or a doctor. 309 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,360 Speaker 1: We all need a change in environment. You know, humans 310 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 1: get bored really easily, and our motivations and our desires 311 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,880 Speaker 1: change just as frequently. So if an environment, or if 312 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 1: a job or a career path even isn't suiting you 313 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:46,680 Speaker 1: right now, what's stopping you from changing? You know, there 314 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 1: are always going to be financial pressures and other things 315 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,879 Speaker 1: that we need to consider, but there is also agency. 316 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,760 Speaker 1: You really are in control, and you get to decide 317 00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:00,760 Speaker 1: what environments feed your soul, what skills you get to learn, 318 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: what opportunities you get to have. So I imagine for 319 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 1: some of you listening, you are at this very crossroads 320 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,440 Speaker 1: right now. Maybe you've been at UNI for a couple 321 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:13,200 Speaker 1: of years and you're like, fuck, I actually really don't 322 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,919 Speaker 1: like this course. I don't like this you know what 323 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,159 Speaker 1: I'm learning. I don't actually think it's for me. That 324 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:24,160 Speaker 1: can be really scary. But once that learning anxiety overcome, 325 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:28,879 Speaker 1: you know, once the survival anxiety, sorry overcomes your learning anxiety, 326 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 1: you're really able to ask yourself, you know, what is 327 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,680 Speaker 1: the worst case scenario here? You know, do the benefits 328 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,359 Speaker 1: outweigh the costs? Why am I fearful of this? Change? 329 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,920 Speaker 1: Is it because it would disappoint others. Is it because 330 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,240 Speaker 1: I'm worried about not being comfortable? Because if your answer 331 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,399 Speaker 1: is yes to those last few questions, I think you 332 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 1: know the reason why you're staying is perhaps not the 333 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:55,960 Speaker 1: right one. So I'm going to take a little break 334 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 1: here because i want to talk about our Next Partner 335 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,920 Speaker 1: the show. Our Next Partner has a product that I've 336 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:07,439 Speaker 1: been using quite literally every day for the past few months. 337 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,160 Speaker 1: So I started taking AG one for a number of reasons. 338 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:15,160 Speaker 1: So if you're an avid listener of podcasts, such as myself, 339 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 1: you may have heard of this brand. It's called Athletic Grains, 340 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 1: and I had been getting recommendations for this constantly and 341 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,840 Speaker 1: I really wanted to see what the hype was about. 342 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,720 Speaker 1: I've also been trying to eat better for my body 343 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,240 Speaker 1: and my mind these past few months. It's been a 344 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 1: stressful a few months, and it seemed like a pretty 345 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 1: easy way to do it. So, okay, maybe I should 346 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,920 Speaker 1: explain what it is. What is ag one. It's essentially 347 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:43,119 Speaker 1: a nutritional insurance, So you take one little scoop. I 348 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,159 Speaker 1: normally take mine in the morning before I have breakfast, 349 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,040 Speaker 1: and you essentially receive all of the vitamins and minerals 350 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,440 Speaker 1: you might need for the day. It's great for your 351 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 1: nervous system, it's great for your immune system, your energy levels, 352 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 1: your focus, all things I think we kind of want 353 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 1: in our twenties and when we're young, and we want 354 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:05,359 Speaker 1: our bodies to be healthy and energized. My housemay is 355 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,720 Speaker 1: also now really obsessed with it, so I'm going to 356 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,360 Speaker 1: need to stock up soon. But essentially, it's a great 357 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,399 Speaker 1: addition for your health. It supports mental clarity, it helps 358 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,919 Speaker 1: me sleep better, and it's a really kind of easy 359 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,280 Speaker 1: thing to add to your lifestyle. It's a small micro 360 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 1: habit that is one extra thing you can do on 361 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:28,040 Speaker 1: your day to take care of yourself, which I imagine 362 00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 1: is probably a priority for all of us. Also, in 363 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 1: keeping with the ethos of this podcast, it is planet friendly, 364 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:41,320 Speaker 1: it's people friendly. Athletic Greens is a climate neutral certified company, 365 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:44,880 Speaker 1: Thank you very much, and regularly gives back to the community, 366 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,480 Speaker 1: which I think is important for really any brand that 367 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 1: talks about health. We obviously care about our own well being, 368 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,560 Speaker 1: but it's great to be supported by a company that 369 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:57,160 Speaker 1: cares about the world as well. So today I think 370 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,520 Speaker 1: is a great time to reclaim your health and arm 371 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:03,639 Speaker 1: your immut system with a really super convenient daily nutrition. 372 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,960 Speaker 1: It's just one scoop mixed with water or juice or 373 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,960 Speaker 1: whatever milk if you want, I don't know, one scoop 374 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,399 Speaker 1: every day. That's it. No need for a million different 375 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,479 Speaker 1: supplements and vitamins to look after your health. And to 376 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,640 Speaker 1: make it really easy, Athletic Greens It's going to give 377 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,200 Speaker 1: you a free one year supply of immune supporting Vitamin 378 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:27,160 Speaker 1: D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. 379 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 1: All you have to do is visit Athletic Greens dot 380 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 1: com slash Gemma again, that is Athletic Greens dot com 381 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:38,080 Speaker 1: slash Gemma with the j to take ownership of your 382 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:47,440 Speaker 1: health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Now, 383 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,399 Speaker 1: like many of the topics we discuss on the show, 384 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,920 Speaker 1: the complexities are vast and it's very hard to touch 385 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 1: on everything we might want to discuss. But for the 386 00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,640 Speaker 1: second half of the episode, I really want to talk 387 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,639 Speaker 1: about that feeling of you know, not being where you 388 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,199 Speaker 1: think you should be in your career, imposter syndrome, and 389 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 1: some of the existential dread that can accompany that that 390 00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 1: experience where your work doesn't really align with what you 391 00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:17,480 Speaker 1: perceive as your high mission or your purpose. Not all 392 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,760 Speaker 1: of us, I think, have the luxury of being able 393 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:23,600 Speaker 1: to do what we truly love our passion for our careers. 394 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:27,640 Speaker 1: So how can we still have jobs or work that 395 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,760 Speaker 1: is fulfilling and maintain strong interests, And how can we 396 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,400 Speaker 1: make sure that the things that are happening in our 397 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,280 Speaker 1: professional lives and the anxieties that we might be feeling 398 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:40,240 Speaker 1: there are things that we can manage and reinforce that 399 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,440 Speaker 1: idea that we repeat time and time again throughout this episode, 400 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:48,120 Speaker 1: that work is not your life. I think that that 401 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:52,520 Speaker 1: final point of imposter syndrome and of the idea of 402 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 1: comparing success is one that I'm really excited to discuss. 403 00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,679 Speaker 1: For those of you who know this podcast is not 404 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,680 Speaker 1: my job, at least it's not my full time job. 405 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,600 Speaker 1: I actually work full time as a health consultant. So 406 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:09,040 Speaker 1: that kind of balancing act between feeding myself and feeling 407 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 1: confident at work and still feeling feeding my soul is 408 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 1: one that I think I've gotten much better out over 409 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 1: the years, and then I'm really excited to talk about. 410 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:25,359 Speaker 1: I think so often in our twenties, we are young, 411 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 1: we're still learning and we're so worried that we're not 412 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,320 Speaker 1: achieving enough or doing enough, or that we're not on 413 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 1: the right path. So how do we overcome that feeling. 414 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:38,159 Speaker 1: It's such a messy feeling, it's an uncomfortable feeling, and 415 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,480 Speaker 1: it really is based in social comparison. I think the 416 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 1: main thing I like to remind myself is its success 417 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,840 Speaker 1: is really relative. It's subjective. You know, it is in 418 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,639 Speaker 1: our human nature to define ourselves in terms of others. 419 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:55,960 Speaker 1: We know who we are by comparing ourselves to what 420 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,199 Speaker 1: others are doing and seeing the differences, both negative and 421 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,600 Speaker 1: positive especi role models or people that we see as 422 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,359 Speaker 1: kind of post to children or post to people of success. 423 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,560 Speaker 1: And though the negative comparisons are definitely a lot easier 424 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:13,920 Speaker 1: to remember, I think it's also important to understand that 425 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 1: a lot of us have achieved more than you know, 426 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,159 Speaker 1: we ever could have fathomed or we're ever capable of 427 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,920 Speaker 1: giving ourselves credit for. And the truth is that comparing 428 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,159 Speaker 1: ourselves to others ensures that we never feel successful. We 429 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,960 Speaker 1: have to instead measure our goals and our progress to 430 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:35,240 Speaker 1: the past instead of someone else's present. We aren't actually 431 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,480 Speaker 1: in the same race. No two people are ever going 432 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 1: to be the same. And instead of looking around and 433 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 1: being like, Okay, they're further ahead then me, they're further 434 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,400 Speaker 1: ahead of me. You know, they're doing that, they've got 435 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 1: that internship. Am I doing the thing that I love? 436 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,879 Speaker 1: Why does everyone else seem happier than me? Take a 437 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 1: step back, Just sit for a second and realize how 438 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 1: far you've come. You know. I always like to picture 439 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,560 Speaker 1: myself when I was five, Like my five year old 440 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 1: self would never imagine that I was doing this, or 441 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,920 Speaker 1: that I was working at my other job and having 442 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 1: a great time and producing things for the community and 443 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: for society. So I think that's a much better motivator. 444 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,680 Speaker 1: Think about where you've come from, not where other people 445 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 1: are going. I think another way to kind of overcome 446 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,440 Speaker 1: that sense that our successes, you know, are never going 447 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 1: to be big enough, that our career isn't taking off, 448 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: that we're not doing the right thing is to celebrate 449 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,159 Speaker 1: our small winds. I think if we stop celebrating the 450 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:37,359 Speaker 1: small things, eventually all we see is failure. It's really 451 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: not that often that big amazing victories kind of come around. 452 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 1: And if we wait for those big, amazing, amazing, celebratory moments, 453 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 1: it might be a while, it might be a while 454 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,840 Speaker 1: between those, So it's really important to celebrate the small 455 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,119 Speaker 1: winds and every step closer you get to whatever dream 456 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: you have. Every time you do something a little bit better, 457 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,959 Speaker 1: you have a realizing about what you really want. You 458 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 1: you go back to study, you do really well on 459 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,919 Speaker 1: an essay. And I would really kind of recommend, I 460 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,679 Speaker 1: think I say this on most of my episodes, like 461 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:15,240 Speaker 1: the absolute power of journaling and keeping track of where 462 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:17,400 Speaker 1: you were in the past and where you are now 463 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,800 Speaker 1: and kind of seeing how far that we have come. 464 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 1: And it's a really great way to no longer make 465 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,440 Speaker 1: those comparisons between ourselves and other people when it comes 466 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,679 Speaker 1: to our work lives and our professional lives. And I 467 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:33,919 Speaker 1: think let's link I think really very much linked to 468 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:42,360 Speaker 1: this is forgetting to look back and forgetting to understand 469 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:47,919 Speaker 1: how our dreams change over time. Yes, obviously we can 470 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,600 Speaker 1: look back at our younger selves and be like, oh, 471 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,720 Speaker 1: look how far we've come. But I also want you 472 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 1: to think about what did you want to do when 473 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,920 Speaker 1: you were twelve, or when you were fifteen or sixteen, 474 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,600 Speaker 1: or seventeen or twenty two, or if you're you know, 475 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:02,479 Speaker 1: a bit later in your twenties, about twenty five. Things change, 476 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:06,960 Speaker 1: our desires change, and it's totally okay for you to 477 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,479 Speaker 1: switch around and to try new things. Something a friend 478 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,439 Speaker 1: said to me once which really stuck with me, is 479 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:17,240 Speaker 1: this idea of the paradox of comparison. For someone else, 480 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,199 Speaker 1: you're actually living their dream life right now. What you 481 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,240 Speaker 1: have achieved is their idea of success. And whilst you're 482 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:27,440 Speaker 1: busy comparing yourself to others, there's someone else who's looking 483 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 1: at you thinking you're absolutely amazing. And we've mentioned this 484 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 1: with the social comparison theory at the beginning, but we 485 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:37,479 Speaker 1: really are hardwired to compare our professional actions and our 486 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 1: professional and career accomplishments and successes to others, and that 487 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,760 Speaker 1: makes sense. It really does make sense. It allows us 488 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:48,160 Speaker 1: to understand our place in society. And sometimes we can 489 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,720 Speaker 1: be very competitive and are only able to appreciate where 490 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 1: we are by looking at others. But it actually sometimes 491 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,720 Speaker 1: helps to understand that there are people who would look 492 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 1: up to you just as much as you look up 493 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:04,959 Speaker 1: to others. This perspective is actually called downward social comparison, 494 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 1: whereby okay, this is a scientific definition, so take it 495 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,240 Speaker 1: with a grain of salt, but downward. Social comparison occurs 496 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 1: when we compare ourselves to others who we perceive as 497 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,840 Speaker 1: being worse off than us. I don't like that term 498 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,040 Speaker 1: worse off because I don't think anyone is ever worse off. 499 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,760 Speaker 1: You know, we're alive, we're breathing, we are loved. How 500 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,800 Speaker 1: can that be bad? But people who maybe a few 501 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:28,960 Speaker 1: steps behind where we are, who want to be where 502 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,000 Speaker 1: we are. And obviously we want to dispel the idea 503 00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:35,040 Speaker 1: of social comparison altogether, but sometimes that can be a 504 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:38,080 Speaker 1: companying thought. To imagine yourself as someone else's hero, as 505 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:43,120 Speaker 1: someone else's inspiration. I also want to talk about imposter syndrome. Okay, 506 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,960 Speaker 1: so some fun psychology of your twenties trivia for you. 507 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 1: The psychology of imposter Syndrome was actually the first episode 508 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 1: I ever put out on this show, which seemed really 509 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,320 Speaker 1: fitting at the time. So if this topic is really 510 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,440 Speaker 1: interesting to you, please feel free to go and listen 511 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,440 Speaker 1: to that. And you know, also here exact how far 512 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,320 Speaker 1: this show has come, particularly in audio quality, I will say, 513 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:07,200 Speaker 1: but aside from that, imposter syndrome can really go hand 514 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:11,920 Speaker 1: in hand with career anxiety in so many ways. The 515 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:16,440 Speaker 1: phrase imposter syndrome. It refers to a feeling very similar 516 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,080 Speaker 1: to social comparison, but I think a lot more severe. 517 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 1: It involves feelings of self doubt and incompetence, that we're 518 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,360 Speaker 1: bad at our jobs, that we don't know what we're doing, 519 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,640 Speaker 1: that we're failing, that we should have it more together, 520 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,959 Speaker 1: and this feeling persists despite all the available evidence pointing 521 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,040 Speaker 1: to the fact that you are indeed very accomplished and 522 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,560 Speaker 1: very incredible and highly skilled, and the fact that you've 523 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:41,880 Speaker 1: made so much progress in the past. You know, I 524 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,000 Speaker 1: don't know how long, but since you were a child, 525 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,200 Speaker 1: or since you graduated high school, like, the things that 526 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:48,160 Speaker 1: you've done must have been amazing to get you to 527 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:52,800 Speaker 1: where you are. Imposter syndrome is such a common experience 528 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 1: amongst people I've spoken to, especially as we're starting out 529 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,440 Speaker 1: in our chosen field and we're trying to get our 530 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:01,520 Speaker 1: footing perhaps listening to this and you're in your first 531 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:05,680 Speaker 1: full time job or your first internship or your first placement, 532 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 1: and it can be a huge source of career anxiety 533 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:10,800 Speaker 1: to not really know what you're doing, to not know 534 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,000 Speaker 1: if this is what you want, and it prompts some 535 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 1: of those very extrastential questions of do I belong here? 536 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,800 Speaker 1: Is this the right choice for me? Do I actually 537 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 1: care about this? Can I do this? And the chances 538 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,640 Speaker 1: are the answer to all of those questions is yes. 539 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 1: But our minds have this tricky way of priming us 540 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,240 Speaker 1: to expect the worst and to tear ourselves down, and 541 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:38,200 Speaker 1: imposter syndrome, especially in our professional working lives, has been 542 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 1: described as the silent career killer. I'm just gonna say 543 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,920 Speaker 1: that again. I love this phrase, the silent career killer. 544 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:50,520 Speaker 1: Those experiencing imposter syndrome have such an intense sense of inadequacy, 545 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:54,080 Speaker 1: even when told otherwise that sometimes we can self sabotage 546 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,840 Speaker 1: and we can give up on things before we've even 547 00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,600 Speaker 1: given it a go because of that self doubt, because 548 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 1: we feel like a fraud, because we feel like, you know, 549 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,760 Speaker 1: we're not where we should be, that we don't belong here. 550 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,480 Speaker 1: All of these mental phenomenon we have spoken about when 551 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:13,240 Speaker 1: we were talking about career anxiety are such a complicated 552 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 1: cocktail of experiences, and it's so hard to break them 553 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,840 Speaker 1: down because I think whilst all of us might feel 554 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,240 Speaker 1: a little bit of apprehension about where we are in 555 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,600 Speaker 1: our professional lives. It can manifest in such a different 556 00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,760 Speaker 1: way for everyone, but all of them can really leave 557 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,680 Speaker 1: us feeling uneasy, like we're heading down the wrong path. 558 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,760 Speaker 1: So once again, I want to remind you of that 559 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: one crucial lesson that I want all of you to 560 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 1: take away from this episode. Your job, your career, and 561 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:45,040 Speaker 1: what you do for work is not the most important 562 00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,320 Speaker 1: thing about you. Indeed, it's probably not even the top three. 563 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:51,800 Speaker 1: Think about all the other things that make you who 564 00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:55,440 Speaker 1: you are and contribute to a happy, brilliant life. The 565 00:32:55,520 --> 00:33:00,840 Speaker 1: relationships and love you curate, how you treat others, your family, 566 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:05,080 Speaker 1: your health, your hobbies and passions, your mission, your memories, 567 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:10,800 Speaker 1: moments of profound happiness. All those things sound a lot 568 00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 1: more important to me than whether you're ahead of you 569 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:18,360 Speaker 1: know Nancy on LinkedIn, or you know whether this job 570 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,160 Speaker 1: is really what you want. So if you are experiencing 571 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 1: career anxiety at the moment and wondering if you are 572 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 1: where you should be, take a breath and remind yourself 573 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: that this is not the end of your story. You 574 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: can change paths at any point, and the most amazing 575 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,600 Speaker 1: opportunities they really do show up when we least expect them, 576 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,640 Speaker 1: and I promise you you're not failing. I promise you that. 577 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,960 Speaker 1: In fact, I'm sure no one else thinks that either. 578 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,960 Speaker 1: And if you're having a hard time adapting, maybe this 579 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:47,720 Speaker 1: is a learning experience that you will grow from and 580 00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:51,320 Speaker 1: adapt to until it's time for the next challenge. Society, 581 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,600 Speaker 1: especially in this day and age, has become so focused 582 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:59,960 Speaker 1: on work and our careers and our success over life. 583 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:03,400 Speaker 1: But work is not the content of a happy life. 584 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:07,640 Speaker 1: It's just an element, and sometimes it can be really 585 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,920 Speaker 1: useful to take a step back. Like I said, compare 586 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,040 Speaker 1: where you are now to where you were in the past, 587 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:18,080 Speaker 1: Recognize those small successes, think deeply about what your dreams 588 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,680 Speaker 1: actually are, and put your thoughts down, maybe even a 589 00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:23,440 Speaker 1: little plan onto the page. Our brains are a lot 590 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:28,000 Speaker 1: better at organizing smaller, bite sized thoughts and steps rather 591 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:32,400 Speaker 1: than massive complicated problems we feel we're never going to 592 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:35,920 Speaker 1: be able to digest. And sometimes career anxiety is exactly that, 593 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:40,719 Speaker 1: a massive complicated anxiety that's eating away at us, fed 594 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:44,640 Speaker 1: by social comparison and work and anxiety and imposter syndrome. 595 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,880 Speaker 1: And until we're able to break it down and identify 596 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:51,800 Speaker 1: what it is. We're worried about why we don't feel 597 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,920 Speaker 1: like we belong, why we feel like we're behind, why 598 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,799 Speaker 1: we feel like we're doing it wrong. We're never really 599 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,560 Speaker 1: going to be able to overcome that. Promise you it 600 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:02,680 Speaker 1: is going to be all right. You're definitely where you 601 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 1: need to be. And thank you for listening to this episode. 602 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,239 Speaker 1: It was such an interesting one to do. Some of 603 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:12,440 Speaker 1: that science is so fascinating and definitely something that was 604 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,720 Speaker 1: worthwhile for me. I also want to again thank our sponsor, 605 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,960 Speaker 1: Athletic Greens for being able to let me do what 606 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,840 Speaker 1: I love, which is such a great feeling. And to 607 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,560 Speaker 1: all of you for listening. You literally make my week 608 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 1: every single week. It's just insane how many people want 609 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:33,120 Speaker 1: to listen to this and I think, yeah, it really 610 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,719 Speaker 1: does blow my mind. So I'm so grateful and thank 611 00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:39,319 Speaker 1: you as always. I'd also invite you to follow the 612 00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:43,120 Speaker 1: Psychology of your Twenties on Instagram. That is where I 613 00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,759 Speaker 1: decide what episodes to put out at the end of 614 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:49,800 Speaker 1: every week. So this one was actually chosen by listeners, 615 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,080 Speaker 1: and there will be another poll next week, so vote 616 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,399 Speaker 1: away and I will produce the content and it will 617 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,320 Speaker 1: be in your feed. And thank you again for listening. 618 00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,279 Speaker 1: I hope you have a lovely, lovely day.