1 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:07,760 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, where we 2 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:12,119 Speaker 1: discussed all things mental health, personal development, and all the 3 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible 4 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Harden Bradford, 5 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information 6 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,920 Speaker 1: and resources, visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls 7 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 1: dot com. And while I hope you love listening to 8 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,159 Speaker 1: and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to 9 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 1: be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental 10 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me 11 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 1: for session twenty eight of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. 12 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: We often hear varying opinions about whether black women can 13 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 1: really be friends with one another, and there's often this 14 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 1: thinking that black women don't support one another because of 15 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,600 Speaker 1: the belief that there can only be one Black girl 16 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 1: at the top. For today's episode, I wanted to chat 17 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,319 Speaker 1: with someone who lives, breathes, and sleeps a spirit of 18 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: collaboration over competition. Today's guest is Marlene Francois Madden. Marlene 19 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: is a private practice clinical therapists, Huffington Post contributor, Phenomenal 20 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: Public speaker and entrepreneur. With over thirteen years of clinical experience, 21 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 1: she has become a sought after expert in mental health, trauma, 22 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 1: self care, and girls leadership. Marlene has shared her expertise 23 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: at dozens of universities, colleges, community organizations, churches, and conferences, 24 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: including the Congressional Black Caucus for Women and Girls. Her 25 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: organization for More Precious has awarded hundred dollars in scholarships 26 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 1: to minority girls since two thousand thirteen and continues to 27 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 1: educate young women ages four routine to nineteen to dream 28 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: beyond the barriers they faced to reach their fullest potential. 29 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 1: Empowerment isn't what she does, it's who she is. Driven 30 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: by passion and purpose, Marlene touches the lives of many 31 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:18,920 Speaker 1: through her work. She facilitated trauma informed group and individual 32 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: sessions for young women in Haiti who were sex trafficking survivors. 33 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 1: Her commitment to youth development earned her an invitation to 34 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 1: speak to young global leaders from countries like Pakistan, Nigeria, Kenya, Israel, 35 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: Bangladesh and Moore about self care. She also volunteered at 36 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:44,240 Speaker 1: a children's orphanage in Ghana. Marlene has a bachelor's degree 37 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:47,799 Speaker 1: in psychology from Penn State University and a Master's of 38 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 1: Social Work degree from Rutgers University, Newark. She is currently 39 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:55,360 Speaker 1: licensed as a licensed clinical social worker in the state 40 00:02:55,400 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: of New Jersey. Marlene and I chatted about where these 41 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:03,920 Speaker 1: ideas about sisterhood came from, how to combat the feelings 42 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 1: if they show up for you, and about what sisterhood 43 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: really looks like in practice. So thank you so much 44 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 1: for joining me for the episode today, Marlene. It's lovely 45 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,239 Speaker 1: to be on the show. I'm excited. Thank you, thank you. So, 46 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: you know, I definitely wanted to have a conversation about 47 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,399 Speaker 1: this UM because it comes up a lot UM related 48 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,239 Speaker 1: to like black women having relationships with one another, UM 49 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: in this sense that UM, you know, like there's always 50 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 1: this competition kind of piece and this cattiness. And so 51 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, just from observing you on 52 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: social media and being in different Facebook groups and stuff 53 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 1: with you, UM, I feel like you really do a 54 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 1: great job of like exemplifying this UM like when my 55 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 1: sister wins, I win to UM. So I feel like 56 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 1: you would be the perfect person to chat about this topic. 57 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: So where do you think this sentiment comes from that 58 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: Black women like can't get along or can't collaborate with 59 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 1: one another. I have been it starts in the home. 60 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of women they don't see 61 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: it modeling at home. They don't see whether it's their 62 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 1: mom or grandmother uplifting other women, So they have a 63 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 1: hard time doing that. They don't know what it's like 64 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: to support each other. Or you walk into a new 65 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: salon or a hair salon and most of the time 66 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 1: you see it's just gossip that's happening there. So people 67 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 1: are kind of exposing other woman's flaws, you know, areas 68 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,920 Speaker 1: that you know that it helping, or like you see 69 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 1: women just like you know, oh girl, did you see 70 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,279 Speaker 1: what happened? Is so? And so you see what her 71 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 1: baby daddy did, Like you see a lot of that 72 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,840 Speaker 1: that's happening. So women have a difficult time really building 73 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:42,839 Speaker 1: each other up because they're used to just like kind 74 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: of just like just you know, pushing each other to 75 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 1: the side and just downplaying each other. Got you okay? 76 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,159 Speaker 1: And I would imagine that the answer to this question 77 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 1: is yes, But um, do you think there's something like 78 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: in the greater culture that kind of contributes to this 79 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,480 Speaker 1: type of thinking like related to either pop culture or 80 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 1: what we see in the media. Um, what what kind 81 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: of things in the greater culture you think influence some 82 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: of this thinking. Definitely the media absolutely, Like if you 83 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: see right now, like a lot of reality shows that 84 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,479 Speaker 1: are out, especially reality shows that target African American women, 85 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,279 Speaker 1: it's you have Real Housewives of this, and you have 86 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,920 Speaker 1: love and hip hop and Basketball Wives, and a lot 87 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,360 Speaker 1: of these shows, all you see are women fighting one another, 88 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:29,840 Speaker 1: you know, and they have like this love and hate relationship. 89 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,920 Speaker 1: Like the women come together, they don't like each other, 90 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,279 Speaker 1: then they go and retreats, they get to like, you know, 91 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 1: one of the girls may plan and event and then 92 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: they invite somebody that they know everyone in the group 93 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,039 Speaker 1: doesn't like, and then it just starts more drama. So 94 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: it's like that is what we see that's happening in 95 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 1: the media. So it makes the very difficult for people 96 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: to think that we can really get along with each other. Um, 97 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 1: it's just and I think one movie that shows how 98 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 1: women can support one another is A Girl's Trip that 99 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 1: came out Girls Shop is one move. I think that 100 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 1: example bies what sisterhood should look like. But a lot 101 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 1: of these other shows they do a poor job with it. 102 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: And of course that's what media, you know, media, they 103 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,000 Speaker 1: have to make money, and so that's how they make 104 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: their money by showing gossip shows. And you have, you know, 105 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,039 Speaker 1: outlets like the Shade Room, you know a lot of 106 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: these gossip blogs and then they put up things about 107 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,479 Speaker 1: women and you just have people tearing each other down 108 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,599 Speaker 1: because that's what they're seeing happening in the media, so 109 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 1: they're going to do it too. Yeah, And it does 110 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,800 Speaker 1: seem like, um, you know, like if you don't have 111 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:36,600 Speaker 1: very much experience with black women in other ways, Um, 112 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 1: if you kind of are getting your cues from like 113 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 1: reality TV, um that it is very heavily kind of 114 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 1: reliant on one type of you know, a viewpoint of sisterhood. Yes, 115 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,919 Speaker 1: so you mentioned Girls Trip, Um, so that definitely you know, 116 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,920 Speaker 1: it was like a hot movie for the summer and um, 117 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,480 Speaker 1: you know black women kind of across the country were 118 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 1: excited and got all their girls together. So what do 119 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: you think really, Um, was like so positive about that movie. 120 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 1: What I like about that movie is that everyone had 121 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: a different character. So you know, you had one person 122 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 1: that was just like, you know, about her business. You 123 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 1: had another person was like, yeah, I'm just trying to 124 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 1: get some I'm looking for a man. Well, we're going 125 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: to strips. Like, everyone had a different personality. They all 126 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: weren't the same, which is something that I love. And 127 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: they were able to kind of be there for one another, 128 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 1: so like, you know, they were able to like to 129 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: kind of they had some moments in a movie. You know, 130 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: I don't want to give away fro people who didn't 131 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: see the movie, but like, you know, there were some 132 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: moments to move with they you know, they had some disagreements, 133 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 1: they argued and they don't want to be friends. When 134 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: then they got back together and it's like, you know, 135 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 1: for them to share like some of the things that 136 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:47,040 Speaker 1: they're going through, like the raw stuff that they're going through, 137 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 1: and still have women around them to support them through it. 138 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 1: I think that's a major That was something that was 139 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: huge for me. Like, you know, they were in different 140 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 1: stages of their life. One of them was you know, 141 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: had kids and you know, she was working as a doctor. 142 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 1: So it was like to be able to just like 143 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: you know, still take a girl's trip even in the 144 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 1: midst of life changing and your girlfriends are still there 145 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 1: and ride with you. I think that was just like 146 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: amazing for me. Yeah, and I agree with you. You You 147 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 1: did show a very different, um look at black women's 148 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 1: friendships then I think we typically see on you know, 149 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:26,119 Speaker 1: like just television Monday through Friday kind of things. Yes, yeah, 150 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,240 Speaker 1: So what value do you see in investing so much 151 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 1: in sisterhood? You know, like, I'm wondering how you got 152 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,199 Speaker 1: to this place in your own thinking? Um, has this 153 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,920 Speaker 1: always been something that's like incredibly important to you? So 154 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,320 Speaker 1: so here's the thing with me. So I'm the only daughter. 155 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: I'm the oldest. I'm the oldest child. My parents have 156 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 1: three kids. I have two brothers, so I've never had 157 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 1: any sisters, and I always wanted sisters. I watch other 158 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 1: people have sisters, and I'm like, man, I wish I 159 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 1: had a sister. Smight this year clothes with somebody who 160 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 1: thinks like me. So, being that me and my brother 161 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 1: were like fifteen months apart, I would all was like 162 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 1: paint his nails and trying to dress him up and 163 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 1: he was not having that, Like it would not work. 164 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 1: He's like leave me alone. I'm like, can you play 165 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 1: with me? He's like no. So it was just so weird. 166 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,199 Speaker 1: But um, I actually had girlfriends I grew up with 167 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,319 Speaker 1: until this day. Um, I'm thirty two years old. Yes, 168 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 1: my ages out there, black don't crack. But but my girlfriends, 169 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 1: we've been friends for thirty two years. We I have 170 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 1: a group of girls who were born the same month 171 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,959 Speaker 1: and we get together all the time for our birthdays. 172 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:33,559 Speaker 1: They were actually my wedding. Um, so it's I've always 173 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 1: embraced sisterhood. I think that's all I knew how to do. 174 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 1: Like I never remember when I was eight years old, 175 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 1: my mom told me, don't have too many girlfriends because 176 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: that's how drama starts. And I remember when I was eight, 177 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 1: like I didn't want to be my best friend's friend 178 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 1: anymore because she didn't have enough Barbie dolls and accessories. 179 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,480 Speaker 1: And I found some new girlfriends. Then those girlfriends were Caddie, 180 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm going back to my old 181 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,320 Speaker 1: best friend that I had. But then like other than that, 182 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 1: like I've always embraced having women around me. It's just something, 183 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 1: it's just something. I don't know what it is. It's 184 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: just something inspiring for me to watch other women at 185 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,320 Speaker 1: dance and succeed. Like even if it's something that I 186 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 1: want and I don't get it, and one of my 187 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 1: sisters get it. It still makes me happy. I just don't. 188 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,760 Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. It's just always been 189 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 1: within me, like to just have this this sisterhood and 190 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 1: and seeing women thrive and connecting with other women. It 191 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: just really, it really really drives me. I just feel 192 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: like it's part of my life. Spostion, I guess you 193 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 1: could say, yeah, And kind of going back to the 194 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: question we discussed earlier about like what things in the 195 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,320 Speaker 1: greater culture are kind of contribute to this, I do 196 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:42,199 Speaker 1: feel like there is um like a more mainstream kind 197 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,959 Speaker 1: of narrative or culture piece that talks about like this 198 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: scarcity of resources. So you know, like I can't share 199 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: you know who did this for me, or I can't 200 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 1: tell you how I got this speaking gig or whatever, 201 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: because then that may mean I don't get it. And 202 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 1: you know, then you start to get all of these things. Yes, 203 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 1: you see that a lot. And you see that even 204 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: with hair, like like oh, who did your hair? You know, 205 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 1: where'd you get your hair from? Oh? I got it 206 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: from the shop. And it's like people don't want to 207 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,840 Speaker 1: like share you know where they got the hair from, 208 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 1: Like so I remember hearing that a lot at one point, 209 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: like you know, asking people whe they got their clothes, 210 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,959 Speaker 1: orm and things like that, and people wouldn't share that information. 211 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:23,800 Speaker 1: And now you still see it when it comes to 212 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,559 Speaker 1: a woman empowerment. You know, I think women empowerment has 213 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 1: became a fad at some point, like a trending topic 214 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 1: in the last few years, where you have all these 215 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,720 Speaker 1: brunches that would happen, but in the midst of people 216 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:39,520 Speaker 1: having them, it was still some some people there was 217 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 1: still some competition going on. It was like who can 218 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: have the better brunch, who can have the better speaker, 219 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 1: who has the better branding, who has the you know, 220 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,320 Speaker 1: who can get the better speaking engagements? And you know 221 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 1: all these things. But um, and the way I see this, like, 222 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,559 Speaker 1: you know, there's enough bread for each and every one 223 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:58,199 Speaker 1: of us to get to see it at the table. 224 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,560 Speaker 1: Each and every one of us can this can get 225 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 1: a seat at the table. Every day's room for everybody. 226 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 1: There's enough room. And I think some people don't realize that. 227 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,320 Speaker 1: And I think another thing too, that women have to 228 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 1: realize that sometimes your seasons are gonna shift, so you 229 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 1: may have a season where like your book can speak 230 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 1: and engagements back to back and then maybe you can't 231 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 1: do it the next season, but some other woman is 232 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 1: doing it. You need to applaud her because you were 233 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:24,199 Speaker 1: once in that position, so applaud her. Or maybe that's 234 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 1: where you want to be and you're not there yet, 235 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 1: applaud that girl because maybe one day she can't do it, 236 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 1: and now she's pushing it to you and just like, hey, 237 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna pass on this opportunity you 238 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: because I know you're go be good at it. So 239 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 1: that's the way I take it. Yeah, And it feels like, um, 240 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: it may take some work to get to that place, right, 241 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:45,080 Speaker 1: like how do you think you know, like for somebody 242 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,239 Speaker 1: who does maybe still feel like some of that scarcity, 243 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 1: it feels like, you know, like you know, yeah, that 244 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 1: sounds really good more lean, Um, but I'm not about 245 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,559 Speaker 1: to tell you, you know, all of my hookups and 246 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 1: kinds of things. Um, it feels like there may be 247 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,559 Speaker 1: some inner work that needs to be done to get 248 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 1: to a is where you feel like, Okay, I can 249 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,320 Speaker 1: share these things because what's for me is for me, 250 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,719 Speaker 1: and you know, not sharing is not going to kind 251 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 1: of block anything that's supposed to come my way, what 252 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 1: kinds of things do you think maybe it needs to 253 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 1: kind of um be reflected on or worked on personally 254 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 1: to get to a police like that. Confidence is one 255 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:23,440 Speaker 1: of them. You know, having confidence is major, It's key 256 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 1: because then you know what's for you is for you. 257 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:29,040 Speaker 1: It's you know, sharing your sister or it's not gonna 258 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 1: dim your light, as I say. And the other thing 259 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 1: I would say is that knowing that if you have 260 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 1: a purpose and you know what your purpose is in life, 261 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 1: you're going to be fine regardless like whether you share 262 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,960 Speaker 1: the resource or not. If you don't share the resource 263 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,960 Speaker 1: with that person, they're gonna find somebody else who's going 264 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,920 Speaker 1: to share them resource. And you know, there's still this 265 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 1: whole thing with them picking brains that I'm hearing a 266 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 1: lot of discussion on. It's been like the latest topic 267 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 1: this week. Half. It was like a whole battle on 268 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 1: Instagram with um a popular TV personality person and everybody 269 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 1: was just like going in about the whole pick in 270 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,079 Speaker 1: your brains and how like you know, women reach out 271 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 1: to other women and they're asking the questions and people 272 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 1: are it's like, well, you know, I'm not sharing that 273 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,560 Speaker 1: information with you. Um, I do believe that you don't 274 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 1: have to share everything with someone, but there are some 275 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: things you could share that could help them along your journey. So, 276 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,320 Speaker 1: you know, sharing some resources. So if you have a 277 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 1: private practice to somebody else is trying to build their practice, 278 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 1: maybe you can't share them every single detail of how 279 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 1: to get that practice, but maybe you could put them 280 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 1: in the hands of someone else who has a program 281 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,520 Speaker 1: on building private practices and they can sign up for 282 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:43,560 Speaker 1: that class. So finding strategies to help them. So somebody 283 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,760 Speaker 1: wants to write a book, and you know, maybe you're 284 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,520 Speaker 1: a best seller book author, but you don't have the 285 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,880 Speaker 1: time to kind of mentor them and coach them, but 286 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 1: you put them in the hands of someone else or 287 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,040 Speaker 1: give them a contact and say, okay, well here you go, um, 288 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 1: and this is what I can give you for now, 289 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:01,120 Speaker 1: and you can you can work it out. So UM, 290 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,240 Speaker 1: I truly believe as a woman, if we have confidence, 291 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: if we have enough confidence, we will be okay with 292 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 1: sharing with other women and sharing our platform in space. 293 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 1: I do it all the time, every single day. I'm 294 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 1: you know, I have people reaching out to me about 295 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,560 Speaker 1: things with social work and mental health, and I'm constantly 296 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:23,760 Speaker 1: sharing resources. If I know, any job opportunities, I'm sharing 297 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 1: it with people. You know, if I get any resources, 298 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,440 Speaker 1: I'm sharing it with people. Because for me, if it 299 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 1: just feels like I'm not going to be in this 300 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: by myself, I want my sisters to win too. Like 301 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,160 Speaker 1: we gotta be at the seat, we gotta be at 302 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 1: the table together. That's the way I see it. Yeah, 303 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 1: then there is enough room for all of us at 304 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 1: the table that it can't be you know, just one 305 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 1: of us, one of us, kind of speaking for everybody 306 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 1: kind of thing. Yes. Absolutely. So I know that you 307 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 1: work with a lot of women in your practice. Um, 308 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,520 Speaker 1: and I'm wondering if this has come up. I'm guessing so, Um, 309 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: you know, so clients who might come in talking about 310 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 1: they don't have any other women friends because women are 311 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:07,080 Speaker 1: catty and they can't be trusted. What kinds of things 312 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,160 Speaker 1: might you do with a client who comes in with 313 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 1: a concern like that. So I've had to happen so 314 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 1: many times, and I've heard people say constantly, Oh, if 315 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,480 Speaker 1: a woman says, you know, I can't trust with the 316 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,640 Speaker 1: women they're catty, you can't trust that woman. I don't 317 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 1: necessarily believe that. I think everybody's story and journey is different. 318 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 1: Um For me, what I do is I explore a 319 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 1: little deeper and find out, you know, if this has 320 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:33,400 Speaker 1: been something they've always done growing up since childhood. Has 321 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: there been some sort of abandonment issues with their own 322 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 1: mother that they're dealing with, you know, is there some 323 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: sort of trauma that they're going through. You know, maybe 324 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 1: maybe they were they were physically or you know, sexually 325 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:48,200 Speaker 1: abused by a woman in their in their life, and 326 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,280 Speaker 1: it makes it very difficult for them to open up 327 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 1: to other women. So finding out what happened, like where 328 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 1: did the experience happened where you stop interacting with other 329 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 1: women or maybe you just always grew up that way, 330 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 1: and just finding out, you know, if is it healthy 331 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: or unhealthy? Are you scared? You know, do you have 332 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: this fear of building intimate friendships and and being vulnera 333 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,800 Speaker 1: over with people? So finding out a little bit more 334 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,960 Speaker 1: detail with them. So I usually do that and like 335 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 1: you know, maybe giving me some strategies as far as 336 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:21,320 Speaker 1: like if it's if they are motivated with building that 337 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,240 Speaker 1: that friendship with other woman, you know, starting off small, 338 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,320 Speaker 1: so maybe like you know, taking out a girlfriend to 339 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,439 Speaker 1: lunch and getting to know her instead of you, you know, 340 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,760 Speaker 1: sharing everything. Maybe she will open up about what she's 341 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 1: going through and then you realize that you have a 342 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:38,160 Speaker 1: lot in common. Um, I know, trust is a big 343 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 1: issue for some woman, you know, having to trust another 344 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:44,639 Speaker 1: woman with things that you disclose and then then you 345 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,560 Speaker 1: have this fear of is she gonna go and tell 346 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,920 Speaker 1: everybody else my business? So I hear that a lot 347 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,199 Speaker 1: and a lot of women who say that it's because 348 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,320 Speaker 1: you know them have experience in the past where where 349 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:02,240 Speaker 1: they've shared, you know, very intimate details and that person 350 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 1: went out and told everybody else and now it's like, well, 351 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,720 Speaker 1: you know what, that's it. I'm done. I'm not opening 352 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 1: up to anyone anymore. I can't trust you, you know. 353 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,160 Speaker 1: So I think it's important for a women to kind 354 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: of like they can kind of check people out, but also, 355 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,639 Speaker 1: um figure out the characters the trace you're looking for 356 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 1: in friends. So you and then you got to check 357 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,000 Speaker 1: yourself to in the process. You know, are you that 358 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: person that's really the one that's being catty and not 359 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: the other people around you? So I was told women, 360 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,720 Speaker 1: you know, check yourself and see what are the characters 361 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,399 Speaker 1: traite you? Look in a friend what type of friends 362 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,119 Speaker 1: do you want? What does healthy friendships look look like 363 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,080 Speaker 1: to you? What does toxic friendships look like to you? 364 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 1: Because sometimes you can recognize a pattern that you have 365 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,440 Speaker 1: that's going on, and you gotta break that cycle at 366 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,720 Speaker 1: some point if you're trying to build healthy friendships. So 367 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,679 Speaker 1: you bring up a good point, Marleen about um. You know, 368 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,440 Speaker 1: I do agree with you that a lot of times 369 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 1: when women come in with this type of concern, it's 370 00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:00,640 Speaker 1: because they have had like some type of betrayal. Um. 371 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,760 Speaker 1: And so I'm wondering if you have any like ideas 372 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:07,240 Speaker 1: or tips about like how you can trust again after 373 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,200 Speaker 1: you know, like, let's say you've had a best friend 374 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,080 Speaker 1: who you know, you do share kind of everything within 375 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,720 Speaker 1: the best friend betrays you in some ways, either discloses 376 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 1: information or something else. Um, how would you say somebody 377 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:22,720 Speaker 1: could begin to um be open and trusting in friendships again. 378 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:27,400 Speaker 1: I think that when they start um creating new friendships 379 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 1: with people, I don't think that new friend that you 380 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,959 Speaker 1: have is just like the other person. Recognize what your 381 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,239 Speaker 1: triggers are, because sometimes I think we take situations from 382 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,919 Speaker 1: our past and we put them in our future experiences 383 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,200 Speaker 1: and then it makes it difficult, kind of like if 384 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,679 Speaker 1: you're ex cheated on you. Now you're new boyfriend that 385 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 1: you have, he's such a great man, but everything he does, 386 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:52,360 Speaker 1: you're questioning him because you're thinking he's gonna do exactly 387 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,400 Speaker 1: what you're exit and cheat on you. So I think 388 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,359 Speaker 1: women have to separate the two friendships that they had 389 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,920 Speaker 1: and slowly start building. So maybe you know, be slow 390 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 1: to warm up with that friend. You don't have to 391 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 1: disclose intimate details, but doing things that you both enjoy together, 392 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 1: So doing a fun activity and you know, from there, 393 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:14,320 Speaker 1: maybe going out to lunch and maybe learning about some 394 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 1: of their dreams and aspiration. Because I find that woman 395 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,440 Speaker 1: we could talk about we could we could talk about 396 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,400 Speaker 1: goals all day. We could do that like we're good 397 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 1: at that. We can talk about goals. We could talk 398 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,360 Speaker 1: about hair, we could talk about reality shows. So sharing 399 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,240 Speaker 1: those things and then eventually a little by a little, 400 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 1: sharts start start sharing about your family. You maybe start 401 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,200 Speaker 1: saying about that relationship that failed. Maybe you could start 402 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,639 Speaker 1: a chairing about that friendship that you had that failed, 403 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:40,119 Speaker 1: and how you know you're taking your time to build 404 00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:41,919 Speaker 1: this new friendship because you don't want to end up 405 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,320 Speaker 1: in the same position. So I think women could take 406 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,800 Speaker 1: their time with with getting to know people. You can 407 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 1: start by by by the things that you like, so 408 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 1: your talents and your gifts and you know common interests. 409 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 1: So you start off with things like that and slowly 410 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,760 Speaker 1: build up the where you can be very raw and 411 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,400 Speaker 1: vulnerable and authent thick about you know, your wounds that 412 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 1: you have. Because I even find out even with women 413 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:09,160 Speaker 1: that are best of friends, they struggle with sharing details 414 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,199 Speaker 1: like that with their best friends, their wounds, Like so 415 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: many women don't disclose their wounds with their best friends. 416 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:23,439 Speaker 1: Why do you think fear of judgment, guilt, you know, 417 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:28,240 Speaker 1: the self sabotaging thoughts that women have sometimes um, it 418 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 1: makes it difficult for them, or maybe they feel like 419 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,879 Speaker 1: I don't always want to be that friend that is 420 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 1: a burden to everyone else, so then they just don't 421 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:41,840 Speaker 1: disclose any of that information or disclose what they're going 422 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,679 Speaker 1: through with other people. So maybe the one friend always 423 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,440 Speaker 1: seems to be happy, but then the other friend is 424 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:51,120 Speaker 1: going through a difficult time and they struggle with really 425 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 1: sharing what they're going through, so they may keep it 426 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,760 Speaker 1: very you know, some people keep it on the surface, 427 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,119 Speaker 1: like oh, yeah, you know, I got all these bills. Okay, 428 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,320 Speaker 1: you know, but maybe they don't want to go in 429 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,840 Speaker 1: detail as far as like, you know, the depression that 430 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: they're dealing with and them having you know, thoughts of 431 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:10,920 Speaker 1: ending their life for um, their relationship is not going 432 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,639 Speaker 1: in the right path. And so I find out a 433 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,240 Speaker 1: lot of women struggle with being vulnerable. They have a 434 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:19,680 Speaker 1: difficult time with it. And I think part of it 435 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,480 Speaker 1: is too UM. Part of it could be social media too, 436 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,680 Speaker 1: because with social media, we put out our best foot 437 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:28,760 Speaker 1: out there. So if everyone thinks you're good, then there's 438 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:31,200 Speaker 1: no reason to check up on you sometimes. So I 439 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,320 Speaker 1: think people forget to check up on their friends, like 440 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:37,199 Speaker 1: really check up on them. So when they asked their friends, oh, 441 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,920 Speaker 1: how you're doing, their friends like, oh, yeah, everything's good, 442 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:43,399 Speaker 1: but deep down things are not really good. But you know, 443 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 1: people people know how to put up a front really 444 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 1: well even when they're going through a difficult time. Yeah. 445 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,680 Speaker 1: And I think that's a great strategy that you offered, 446 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:58,879 Speaker 1: UM in terms of almost making like a hierarchy of 447 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 1: what is safe to share UM. And I've also done 448 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,520 Speaker 1: this with clients like Okay, let's make a list of 449 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,159 Speaker 1: things that you would feel comfortable, like if somebody told this, 450 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:10,040 Speaker 1: you wouldn't be that upset versus the top of the 451 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 1: list with something that you you know absolutely would be 452 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 1: devastated if it were shared. Because I do think that 453 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,399 Speaker 1: that can give you some ideas of like how to 454 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,199 Speaker 1: kind of start sharing in a way that feels safe 455 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 1: and not super threatening. Yes, yes, absolutely so you touched 456 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:27,879 Speaker 1: on this a little bit, um, and I want to 457 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,520 Speaker 1: see if if we can kind of dig a little 458 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 1: deeper here around social media because it is such a 459 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:37,199 Speaker 1: large part of our lives, right And um, what tips 460 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,560 Speaker 1: do you have for women who may be struggling with 461 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 1: like comparing themselves to others or you know, kind of 462 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 1: opening up the graham and feeling jealous because you see 463 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,240 Speaker 1: this new person just got this new promotion or just 464 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,720 Speaker 1: got this award or whatever. Um, do you have any 465 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:55,440 Speaker 1: tips around like managing social media and like those feelings 466 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:59,280 Speaker 1: of jealousy and competition that might come up. Yes, definitely, 467 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 1: if you have to like a social media detox or 468 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,359 Speaker 1: fast as I like to say, do that, you know, 469 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,280 Speaker 1: take some time off from it. But then again, you 470 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,400 Speaker 1: don't want to go. You don't want to you don't 471 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:11,960 Speaker 1: want to do that to the point where it turned 472 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 1: into avoidance, some sort of avoidance behavior. So I would say, 473 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:18,080 Speaker 1: always check your emotions and see, you know, why is 474 00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,760 Speaker 1: it that you feel jealous about this person um like 475 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,399 Speaker 1: you mentioned, is it in a word, that they're receiving, 476 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,200 Speaker 1: you know, something new that they have, or maybe they 477 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,399 Speaker 1: you know, maybe the person recently got engaged and you 478 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,640 Speaker 1: know you're waiting for your man to propose to you. 479 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 1: So you know, check your own feelings and see what's 480 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,200 Speaker 1: going on. And and I think it's important for people 481 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 1: to realize, like the grass is not always green on 482 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,159 Speaker 1: the other side, as I say, so, you may see 483 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 1: someone getting all of these accolades and awards and they're 484 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,200 Speaker 1: you know, everything is their life is just lit like 485 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,160 Speaker 1: it's like, wow, she's doing all types of stuff, she's 486 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,439 Speaker 1: she's a boss. But then you have no idea what 487 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,920 Speaker 1: she's dealing with. You have no idea of the late nights, 488 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,760 Speaker 1: you know, where she probably cries herself to sleep, or 489 00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 1: you know, maybe some family issues that's going on. So 490 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 1: I always tell people like you never know, like maybe 491 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,440 Speaker 1: you get into her shoes and you're like, you know what, 492 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,439 Speaker 1: I don't think I could do this anymore. Let me 493 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 1: get back into my own shoes. So you just never 494 00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,880 Speaker 1: know what people are going through. UM, and maybe that 495 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,639 Speaker 1: little bit of those accolades that awards are getting just 496 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,680 Speaker 1: might be the only joy that they have in their 497 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,440 Speaker 1: life at that moment. So I always help people, just 498 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:29,720 Speaker 1: be very careful. I remember quick short story this year. 499 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 1: So I'm a licensed clinical social worker, and I remember 500 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 1: when I was taking my licensure exam for it and 501 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:42,240 Speaker 1: I failed three times, three times, guys, three years in 502 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,439 Speaker 1: a row before I passed it. Everybody else around me 503 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:49,560 Speaker 1: passed the exam and the Licensed Clinical Social Exam UM 504 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,960 Speaker 1: for those of you that don't know, UM, when you 505 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 1: take it, you can eventually go independently and go into 506 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: private practice. And it was always a dream of mine 507 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,879 Speaker 1: since I was a little girl. And I was just like, 508 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:00,760 Speaker 1: why I keep feling this is SAM Like I know 509 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,880 Speaker 1: I'm good at when I do. You know, I love 510 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,360 Speaker 1: this field. I'm always mentoring people, and here I am 511 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 1: and I can't pass this exam and then everybody else 512 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:12,359 Speaker 1: is passing and they're going into private practice, they're becoming 513 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:18,119 Speaker 1: directors of programs, and it could easily. I had to 514 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:21,160 Speaker 1: catch myself and make sure, like I wasn't getting into 515 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:25,080 Speaker 1: that space where I was getting jealous of anyone else 516 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,639 Speaker 1: who passed, like anyone else I studied with. And what 517 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 1: text me the next like, guess when I passed six? 518 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,440 Speaker 1: You know, for me to congratulate them and be generally 519 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:35,200 Speaker 1: happy for them, I had to check myself, like, you 520 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,679 Speaker 1: know what, I have to continue to be happy for 521 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,800 Speaker 1: my friends because this is what they wanted, It's what 522 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,320 Speaker 1: I want to They're getting it at the moment, but 523 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,240 Speaker 1: I can't be mad about it. And then in those moments, 524 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 1: I realized when I was generally happy for people and 525 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,919 Speaker 1: charing them on and and just telling other people how 526 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:55,480 Speaker 1: they passed the exam and um sharing opportunities with them, 527 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,160 Speaker 1: I knowed that opportunities were coming my way to despite 528 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,199 Speaker 1: the fact that I had passed the example why my 529 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,920 Speaker 1: salary increase, I watched speaking opportunities come come my way. 530 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:07,920 Speaker 1: So it was like when you cheer other people on, 531 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:11,640 Speaker 1: something else may come your way too that you don't 532 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:14,560 Speaker 1: even realize it. You know, because you're planting seeds. You're 533 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,879 Speaker 1: planting seeds of happiness in other people's lives, and it's 534 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,639 Speaker 1: going to come back to you. UM. So with social media. 535 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,440 Speaker 1: I think you have to be mindful. If you're having 536 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:28,440 Speaker 1: a hard time seeing other women succeed, you have to 537 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,760 Speaker 1: check yourself and check your emotions and also see like, okay, 538 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,960 Speaker 1: what am I doing? Am I scrolling through social media 539 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,480 Speaker 1: all day and not getting things done for my own 540 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,240 Speaker 1: business to grow, you know, for for me to grow 541 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 1: in my purpose? Because if if that's the case, then 542 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,920 Speaker 1: that's the person who needs to They need to, they 543 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:47,680 Speaker 1: need to, they need to level up. Then at that point, 544 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 1: it's not them scrolling through social media. It's the problem 545 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,480 Speaker 1: with the problem is that they're not setting their time 546 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:56,640 Speaker 1: aside to to complete their goals that they want to accomplish. 547 00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 1: So that's one thing I would say that that is 548 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,360 Speaker 1: a great point. I don't know that I had thought 549 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:04,720 Speaker 1: about it like that. Um, but you're right, like if 550 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,720 Speaker 1: you you know, like, is the issue really that you 551 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:12,439 Speaker 1: are seeing everybody else went on Instagram? Or is the 552 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,360 Speaker 1: issue that you are spending so much time on Instagram 553 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:16,960 Speaker 1: that you're not doing what you need to do to 554 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:20,679 Speaker 1: also be winning. Yeah, And that's what it is for 555 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,679 Speaker 1: some people. And then what happens is you open that 556 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:29,719 Speaker 1: door to for bitterness to come in and bitterness, resentment, sadness, 557 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:33,040 Speaker 1: all of those emotions that come in. It changes how 558 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,760 Speaker 1: your behavior is, how you respond. So it's not gonna 559 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:40,640 Speaker 1: make you wants to sit down and evaluating and be 560 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,720 Speaker 1: strategic to do what you need to do for yourself, 561 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,040 Speaker 1: because you're gonna be so upset, and you know, you're 562 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,000 Speaker 1: just gonna feel like I'm not good enough, I'm not 563 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 1: worthy of this, and there's no point of me even trying. 564 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,840 Speaker 1: And you know, all these look at look at her 565 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 1: like she's on chapter twelve and I'm not even on 566 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 1: chapter one. I'm on the table of contents. There's no point. 567 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,080 Speaker 1: Let me just put this book back, you know. So 568 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,120 Speaker 1: instead of just instead of just like running their race 569 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,200 Speaker 1: to their pace, and so many people are trying to 570 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 1: run the race to everybody else's space instead of their own. 571 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 1: They're seeing what everybody else And that's the thing with 572 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,600 Speaker 1: social media. You see what everybody else is doing. So 573 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 1: people see what other people are doing and they want 574 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:20,080 Speaker 1: to mimic that. And with them mimicking what other people 575 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:23,040 Speaker 1: are doing, they're distracting themselves from accomplishing their own goals. 576 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,480 Speaker 1: And then you just get upset because you're just running 577 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,680 Speaker 1: into a brick wall. You're not you know, getting what 578 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 1: you need to get done, and then now you're mad 579 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:35,720 Speaker 1: at your at other women that are walking in their 580 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:40,160 Speaker 1: purpose when really you should be mad at yourself or 581 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:47,239 Speaker 1: not being intentional with doing your own thing. Yeah, I 582 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 1: definitely agree with you then, Marley, And I mean, it 583 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,479 Speaker 1: definitely feels like, um, what you brought up around like 584 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:57,000 Speaker 1: opening the door for these emotions of like sadness and bitterness, um, 585 00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,240 Speaker 1: you know. And so when you start feeling like that, 586 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:03,160 Speaker 1: then you are less motivated and you are concentrating less. 587 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,920 Speaker 1: I mean, so you know, you do, I think have 588 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:10,480 Speaker 1: to be very reflective around what comes up for you 589 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,120 Speaker 1: around social media because I think that there is I mean, 590 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 1: and there have been you know, studies done about like 591 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:18,840 Speaker 1: people spending more time on Facebook and that leading to 592 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 1: you know, more depressed mood and all that stuff. Um, 593 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,240 Speaker 1: you know. So I think people do have to recognize 594 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 1: like the impact that social media does have like on 595 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:32,400 Speaker 1: our emotions and really be um clear with yourself, like 596 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:36,920 Speaker 1: what's happening for you around using social media. Yes, so 597 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 1: I want to switch gears a little bit. Um, you've 598 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,280 Speaker 1: already said you feel like girls Trip is a great 599 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:46,120 Speaker 1: example um of like black women's friendship and sisterhood and 600 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,520 Speaker 1: like a shiny example of bad. But I wonder if 601 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 1: you have like other resources like books or videos or 602 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,719 Speaker 1: podcasts that you feel really do a good job of 603 00:30:54,760 --> 00:31:00,720 Speaker 1: like highlighting like sisterhood and collaboration. So Girl's Trip, of 604 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,680 Speaker 1: course I love that movie. It was phenomenal. As I say, 605 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 1: of course I love all the older movies like Waiting 606 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,920 Speaker 1: to Excel, I do like set it Off. I won't 607 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,440 Speaker 1: be mad at myself. I just think some of those 608 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:13,400 Speaker 1: movies bring women together, you know, have a glass of 609 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,320 Speaker 1: wine and just have girls night, um and just chop 610 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,920 Speaker 1: it up with your girls. But some other things, so 611 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,320 Speaker 1: some other podcasts. Of course, Therapy for Black Girls love 612 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:26,600 Speaker 1: it because it just features so much vital information that 613 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: we need to know as black women. Not only that, 614 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: like you bring on other therapists on your platform, which 615 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,760 Speaker 1: is showing how you can collaborate and connect with other 616 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,960 Speaker 1: women and other people get to hear their experiences, their stories, 617 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:42,120 Speaker 1: and you know, vital information that they're sharing, whether it's 618 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,720 Speaker 1: about a M d R. Which I loved. I just 619 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 1: had to put that plug out there. Look at that listen. 620 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 1: I listened to it and I was like, you know what, 621 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,480 Speaker 1: let me go sign up for this training. Then I 622 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,040 Speaker 1: looked at the cost and I said, wait a minute, 623 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,120 Speaker 1: that was an eighteen. But it was a great way 624 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,400 Speaker 1: for me to learn about another resource that I've heard about. 625 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,320 Speaker 1: But then it maybe it challenged me to make me 626 00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:04,920 Speaker 1: think even more if it's something I should do another 627 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 1: resource I would say that I listened to. It's another 628 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:10,800 Speaker 1: podcast is called Black Girl Bosses, the Black Girl Bosses podcast, 629 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,480 Speaker 1: and it's this girl that I that I that I 630 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 1: know Tatum who runs it and with her other friend 631 00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:21,000 Speaker 1: and phenomenal podcasts. They share a lot of stuff on 632 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,480 Speaker 1: like business tips and marketing strategies, and they share the 633 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:28,280 Speaker 1: rut of entrepreneurship. They both started the podcast as they 634 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,880 Speaker 1: were in their nine oh five transitioning and they both 635 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:34,080 Speaker 1: transition into full time entrepreneurship. So you get to hear 636 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 1: what it was like when they were working for corporate 637 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:41,440 Speaker 1: and then having to leave and put your resign resignation letter, 638 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,960 Speaker 1: and like now working for yourself and how you have 639 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,280 Speaker 1: to be disciplined, and you know, they bring other women 640 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:49,320 Speaker 1: on their platform and just to share as far as 641 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:53,480 Speaker 1: like having mastermind groups and sisterhood so I really love 642 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,920 Speaker 1: it because it's showing how like, as black women we 643 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,920 Speaker 1: could really boss up, Like there's so much that we 644 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,800 Speaker 1: can do. There's so much coportunities out there. So that's 645 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:07,400 Speaker 1: another resource and another one. Um, I love books, so 646 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:12,120 Speaker 1: I'm a I'm a book quarter book queen, whatever, So 647 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:16,400 Speaker 1: I really I'm really big on reading books about personal development. 648 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:20,440 Speaker 1: So anything by John C. Maxwell. I know it's a man, 649 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,400 Speaker 1: it's not a woman. Yeah, I had to put it 650 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,720 Speaker 1: out there, but but I love his books because I 651 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,600 Speaker 1: love his books because like they sare about how to 652 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:29,680 Speaker 1: be a good leader, and I think it's a woman 653 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:33,160 Speaker 1: that's something we have to keep pushing and growing in 654 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,600 Speaker 1: because so often they say, like, you know, women aren't 655 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,480 Speaker 1: in the C suite or executive seat, but like I 656 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,760 Speaker 1: felt like, when we can get there, but we have 657 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:45,120 Speaker 1: to learn how to be assertive a little bit more 658 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,840 Speaker 1: and um knowing how to negotiate. So like I love 659 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 1: reading his books because you kind of know how to 660 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,000 Speaker 1: be an effective leader. And I think being an effective 661 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,800 Speaker 1: leader is great, especially wearing in a space with all women, 662 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 1: because then you won't be catty. You're gonna sit around 663 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,360 Speaker 1: other women and help them to grow, Like you're gonna 664 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,760 Speaker 1: help them to like building their strengths and whatever air 665 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,120 Speaker 1: they weakend. Either they're going to delegate those areas or 666 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,600 Speaker 1: you're gonna show them how they need to, like, you know, 667 00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 1: get those areas fixed, so you know how to strengthen, 668 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:16,840 Speaker 1: you know how to improve on their their weaknesses. So 669 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:22,040 Speaker 1: John C. Maxwell, Yeah, put it out there, Okay. Any 670 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:26,920 Speaker 1: other books? Um, oh my gosh. I have this book 671 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:32,040 Speaker 1: called smart Woman, not smart Um, I think You're a 672 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:36,560 Speaker 1: smart woman, lead by Bonnie st. John. She is an 673 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:40,200 Speaker 1: Olympic a go to Olympic paraplegic. Um. She went around 674 00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:45,400 Speaker 1: and interviewed people that like, people like Kitwait Clinton, people 675 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:50,440 Speaker 1: that were like, um, just various women. Um kind of 676 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,600 Speaker 1: leaves a right. So this book is pretty old. She 677 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 1: hasn't you weren't one out called smart woman? Pray I 678 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,759 Speaker 1: believe so. In this book she and it's Hurt her 679 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,600 Speaker 1: daughter who write the book together and they interview tons 680 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:05,120 Speaker 1: of women. So I do like that because for me, 681 00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:08,360 Speaker 1: I love when women are able to interview other women 682 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:10,840 Speaker 1: and put it out there because now you're not just 683 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,200 Speaker 1: learning about that woman that came up with that concept, 684 00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:16,680 Speaker 1: but you're also learning about some other person's platform, which 685 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:19,600 Speaker 1: I think is great because now you're you're sharing that 686 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:24,320 Speaker 1: shine with somebody else. So I love anything that features 687 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:28,439 Speaker 1: other woman and that has collaboration involving it. So yeah, 688 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,960 Speaker 1: so I would say those books, And I mean I 689 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:35,480 Speaker 1: read a lot of I'm constantly reading books like girl Boss, 690 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:42,839 Speaker 1: just a bunch of but um yeah, I love reading books. Okay, 691 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 1: So in your free time in between reading all of 692 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,840 Speaker 1: these books, I also know that you're an incredibly busy therapist. 693 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:50,840 Speaker 1: You know, like you talked about like the mentoring piece 694 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,799 Speaker 1: and you have a successful practice. Um, so I am 695 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,600 Speaker 1: curious to know like what projects you're currently working on 696 00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,000 Speaker 1: that you're very excited about, what kinds of things you 697 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,520 Speaker 1: would like to share with the listeners. So right now, 698 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 1: I'm currently working on relaunching the Therapist Planner. It's such 699 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,800 Speaker 1: a long process to do, as anyone knows who's launching 700 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,880 Speaker 1: anything out there, so um, and the process of launching 701 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,800 Speaker 1: the Therapist Planner. And with a Therapist Planner, it is 702 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,480 Speaker 1: specifically designed for mental health professionals, So we have our 703 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:21,839 Speaker 1: I c D ten codes and there is psychotropic medications 704 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,560 Speaker 1: and the medication or outline from like you know, anti 705 00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:28,560 Speaker 1: anxiety to anti depressence medication. There's somewhere in there for 706 00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:31,480 Speaker 1: you to track your CEUs that you go to because 707 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:34,399 Speaker 1: sometimes we forget, we forget where we put our our 708 00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:38,200 Speaker 1: receipts and you know, certificates for the workshops. So then 709 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,880 Speaker 1: having that place to track everything so it's all one place, 710 00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:45,240 Speaker 1: some self care strategy. So I created that for therapist. 711 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,160 Speaker 1: So that's gonna be launching hopefully soon, hopefully within the 712 00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,640 Speaker 1: next thirty days. It'll be out. Um And then another 713 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:54,919 Speaker 1: thing I'm working on is a therapist mixer. So our 714 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:57,080 Speaker 1: first one is going to be in d C. This 715 00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:00,440 Speaker 1: is a Congression U during the Congressional Black Caucus weekend, 716 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,880 Speaker 1: and it's going to happen in variosities. I notice that 717 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 1: I love connecting with other mental health professionals, so it's 718 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:10,040 Speaker 1: just perfect just to have some sort of mixer where 719 00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:13,520 Speaker 1: we get together and meet other people and find out 720 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,359 Speaker 1: what they're doing in an informal way so it's not 721 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:20,359 Speaker 1: you know, all about learning see us and things like that. 722 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,040 Speaker 1: And the other thing I'm working on I'll be working 723 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,120 Speaker 1: on with another therapist, um Jen A. Johnson in two 724 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:30,560 Speaker 1: thousand eighteen. We're gonna be doing some things regarding Team Girls, um, 725 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:33,799 Speaker 1: so be on the lookout for that too. You will, 726 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,880 Speaker 1: of course remember Jennie from our team episode. So in 727 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:40,680 Speaker 1: addition to like celebrating sisterho and Marlene is also somebody 728 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,800 Speaker 1: who specializes in working with teams. So I'm very excited 729 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:45,759 Speaker 1: to hear what you and Jinete will be coming out with. 730 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,839 Speaker 1: That definitely will be awesome no matter what it is. Yes, 731 00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:52,040 Speaker 1: I'm excited. It's gonna be lot tons of black girl magic. 732 00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:56,200 Speaker 1: We're springing. I love it. I love it. So tell 733 00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,839 Speaker 1: everyone where we can find you on social media and 734 00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:03,399 Speaker 1: your website. So you can find me on Facebook, Instagram 735 00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:07,320 Speaker 1: and Twitter at Marlene Francois. So it's m A r 736 00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:11,360 Speaker 1: l I n E f r A n c o 737 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:15,719 Speaker 1: I S. And that's also my website Marlene Francois dot com, 738 00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:18,120 Speaker 1: So on everything it's Marlene Francois, so you can find 739 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,520 Speaker 1: me there, connect with me. I love connecting with people, 740 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,960 Speaker 1: and it's just great to see the other Black therapists 741 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,239 Speaker 1: like making moves. So I love connecting with you guys. 742 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,799 Speaker 1: Perfect well, thank you so much for sharing with us today, Marley, 743 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:36,600 Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. Thank you for having me I 744 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:40,040 Speaker 1: hope you enjoyed my conversation with Marlene and encourage you 745 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:43,440 Speaker 1: to check out some of the resources she mentioned. Also, 746 00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:46,200 Speaker 1: for any therapist who are listening, make sure to grab 747 00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:49,360 Speaker 1: your copy of the Therapist Planner, which is available at 748 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:52,760 Speaker 1: a special price for pre order until Friday, October thirteen. 749 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,960 Speaker 1: You can find all of the resources she mentioned and 750 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,760 Speaker 1: the link for the Planner at Therapy for Black Girls 751 00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:02,600 Speaker 1: dot com. So like Session twenty eight and make sure 752 00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:04,760 Speaker 1: that if you're looking for a therapist in your area, 753 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:08,040 Speaker 1: you check out the therapist directory at Therapy for Black 754 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:13,359 Speaker 1: Girls dot com backslash directory and as always, make sure 755 00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,000 Speaker 1: to share your thoughts about the episode with us. What 756 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,279 Speaker 1: does sisterhood look like to you? And what are your 757 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:22,120 Speaker 1: opinions about relationships between black women? Share those with us 758 00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:25,680 Speaker 1: on social media. Make sure to use the hashtag tv 759 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,040 Speaker 1: G in session. You can find us on Twitter at 760 00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:32,560 Speaker 1: Therapy for the Number four be Girls, and you can 761 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:36,120 Speaker 1: find us on Instagram and Facebook at Therapy for Black Girls. 762 00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,600 Speaker 1: Looking forward to continue in this conversation with you all 763 00:39:39,760 --> 00:40:10,040 Speaker 1: real soon. Take get care, M p oftor p oftor 764 00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:22,640 Speaker 1: p oftor p oft oft