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Speaker 1: As a parent, you don't really know the lengths you're

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Speaker 1: willing to go to protect your children until someone puts

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Speaker 1: you there. Absolutely, and I figured out after this experience

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Speaker 1: that I will happily sit in jail but one of

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Speaker 1: my kids. Period. Hey I'm Cadine and we're the Ellises.

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Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our

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Speaker 1: boys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,

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Speaker 1: I'll make you need therapy most days. Wow. And one

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Speaker 1: more important thing to mention, we're married. We are. We

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Speaker 1: created this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's

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Speaker 1: most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk

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Speaker 1: about through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead

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Speaker 1: adds is the term that we say every day. So

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Speaker 1: when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth,

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Speaker 1: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Were about

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Speaker 1: to take phillow talk to our whole level. Dead As

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Speaker 1: starts right now. So, ladies and gentlemen, this is a warning.

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Speaker 1: This story time is going to be long because they

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Speaker 1: are very detailed points I need you guys to to

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Speaker 1: remember and listen to when I tell this story. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna start by saying, you already know because of the

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Speaker 1: last podcast Thursday morning had to va sectorm me. So

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Speaker 1: there's a little sore in certain areas, in a bad

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Speaker 1: mood for obvious reasons. Friday, going into Saturday, Kyle's has

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Speaker 1: a fever, has a fever of stomach turn and he's

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Speaker 1: having some abdominal pain. He's been having his pain for

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Speaker 1: a couple of days, but at this point he's crippled

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Speaker 1: over a stomach curtain, can barely walk. We decided we're

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Speaker 1: gonna take him to the emergency room. So we take

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Speaker 1: them to Emory Hospital. Go to Emory Hospital emergency room.

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Speaker 1: Um took us, took they so took us about forty

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Speaker 1: five minutes to be seen. Wasn't really that long. They

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Speaker 1: triged him immediately once they asked about the abdominant pain.

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Speaker 1: They put us in the room. Uh. Nurse came and

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Speaker 1: checked them. Nurse practitioner came and checked them. She said,

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Speaker 1: based on his abdominal pain and his fever. And I

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Speaker 1: was in the room with Cairo. Because of COVID protocols,

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Speaker 1: you're only allowed to have one parent in the waiting

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Speaker 1: room at one time and one parent in the emergency

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Speaker 1: room at one time, so because I'm big enough at

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Speaker 1: the time, even though I just had av Seconomy to

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Speaker 1: carry Cairo, because Kyro couldn't walk, I had to carry

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Speaker 1: Cairo from the waiting room to the emergency room. And

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Speaker 1: the doctor said he can barely walk. He couldn't stand

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Speaker 1: up straight. The pain was severe and it kept coming back.

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Speaker 1: She said, it may be a pendicitis. Because of the

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Speaker 1: fever and because of the stomach pain, it could be

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Speaker 1: a pendicitis. Um. The problem is at Emory Hospital, they

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Speaker 1: don't have the technology for children to care for children.

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Speaker 1: They said he should get a sonogram to rule out

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Speaker 1: a pendicitis, so they wrote us up prescription. No, they

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Speaker 1: gave him some IVY profile. UM. They put down all

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Speaker 1: of the details from his vitals on in a folder

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Speaker 1: and also sent them to the Children's Hospital of Atlanta,

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Speaker 1: where they told us that's where we should go because

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Speaker 1: they have the proper equipment to care for Cairo. They

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Speaker 1: then asked me, do you want us to call an

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Speaker 1: ambulance to get him over there? Um, you have you

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Speaker 1: would have to wait for the ambulance to come, or

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Speaker 1: you can drive from straight and get him there faster.

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Speaker 1: So I said it ain't this must be serious. I said,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to get in the car and drive my

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Speaker 1: son to the hospital. Kay was already in the car

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Speaker 1: waiting for inpatient, texting me every five minutes. So I said, hey,

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Speaker 1: we gotta take them to the children's hospital so they

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Speaker 1: can do a sonogram. They think he might have a pendicitist.

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Speaker 1: Kay posed the car up. I carried Cairo into the car.

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Speaker 1: We come home, get our stuff because we don't know

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Speaker 1: how long we're gonna be there, and we go straight

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Speaker 1: to the children's hospital. When we arrive at the Children's hospital,

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Speaker 1: we go to register him through the emergency room. There

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Speaker 1: was a young man, white boy with a bang. Remember this,

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Speaker 1: who's there for registration? I was told in Emory. When

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Speaker 1: you get there and let them know that the doctor called,

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Speaker 1: they're gonna see Kyro immediately because he's dealing with possible appendicitis.

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Speaker 1: I get to the front desk, I said, hey, I

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Speaker 1: just came from Emery. Um they told me to ask

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Speaker 1: for Before I could even finish the statement, the young

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Speaker 1: man says, whatever doctor you spoke to is probably not

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Speaker 1: even here anymore. You're gonna have to wait in line

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Speaker 1: like everybody else, At which time I was a little

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Speaker 1: offended and put off, but I said, you know what

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Speaker 1: it is in an emergency room, everybody's here for an emergency.

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Speaker 1: My emergency can't be any much more important than anyone else,

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Speaker 1: and so let me just wait. It may take a

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Speaker 1: couple of minutes. I said, fine, Kyra, not go over

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Speaker 1: to the waiting room where we have to wait. I

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Speaker 1: find I feel out all the paperwork, and there's at

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Speaker 1: least twenty kids in the in the waiting room coughing, sneezing,

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Speaker 1: flu like symptoms because it's cold and flu season, and

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Speaker 1: there were two children vomiting. I'm like, I can't have

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Speaker 1: Cairo sit in here. He's not in here for flu

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Speaker 1: like symptoms. I also have the code at home for

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Speaker 1: all you who don't know, the quota is immune compromise.

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Speaker 1: Because he's not even one years old. He needed He

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Speaker 1: has needed a nebulizer every couple of weeks because he's

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Speaker 1: had breathing issues because during cold and flu season, his

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Speaker 1: brother's coming from school brought him home. A virus col

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Speaker 1: crew creup is a type of virus that can cause

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Speaker 1: you to lose your breath while you're in your sleep,

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Speaker 1: and you can pass away if you're an infant, so

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Speaker 1: he's immune compromise. So I said, I can't have Cairo

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Speaker 1: sit amongst all of these germs. So I sent Kyra

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Speaker 1: in the car with K and I wait for his

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Speaker 1: name to be called. After about twenty minutes, his name

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Speaker 1: is called. I text K. K brings him right in.

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Speaker 1: Now we meet with the nurse who is supposed to

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Speaker 1: be the triage nurse. Meet with the nurse. The nurse

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Speaker 1: sits down. She says how old is he? I say six.

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Speaker 1: She takes his weight and his temperature. She says, what

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Speaker 1: is he here for? I say, he's here for abdominant pain.

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Speaker 1: We came from Emma Hospital. They said that he might

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Speaker 1: have a pendicitist um, so they said we should come

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Speaker 1: over here because they have all of the instruments for

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Speaker 1: him to get his song the room. She says, okay,

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Speaker 1: I have all of this paperwork here. Go have a

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Speaker 1: seat in the waiting room, at which point I said,

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Speaker 1: do you have any idea how long the weight is

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Speaker 1: going to be? Because we were sent over here as

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Speaker 1: an emergency. She says, it's a children's hospital. It is

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Speaker 1: cold and flu season and means emergency. I really can't

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Speaker 1: tell you. I said, fine, I'm gonna have my wife

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Speaker 1: keep him in the car because there are you know,

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Speaker 1: a lot of kids over there. Six She says, we

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Speaker 1: prefer to have him sit in the lobby, at which

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Speaker 1: point I said, that's not gonna happen. I have an

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Speaker 1: immune compromise. Before I can finish my statement, she walks away.

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Speaker 1: I go, okay, okay, just take him in the car.

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Speaker 1: I'll wait in the waiting room while, you know, they

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Speaker 1: figure out what when Cairo was gonna go. At this point,

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Speaker 1: I sat in that waiting room for two hours. Two hours. Guys. Now,

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Speaker 1: I sat there for twenty five minutes first while they

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Speaker 1: waited to call us back so we can come in

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Speaker 1: and they can ask me what was wrong. Then I

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Speaker 1: waited another two hours and my son was not triashed.

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Speaker 1: You have to understand how important that is. This is

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Speaker 1: an emergency room, children's emergency room. We were sent from

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Speaker 1: another hospital or possible appendicitis. Now we've waited two hours

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Speaker 1: without my son being triash. No one has checked his vitals.

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Speaker 1: At this point, Kay texted me and says, hey, Babe,

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Speaker 1: how much don you think it's gonna be Cairo starting

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Speaker 1: to wake up? Now? The medication they gave him from

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Speaker 1: Emory seems to be wearing off. He says, he's starting

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Speaker 1: to get back in pain. So now I'm like, let

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Speaker 1: me figure out what's going on. I go back to

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Speaker 1: the front desk where the young white boy was with

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Speaker 1: the bang and I said, hey, um, I've been here

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Speaker 1: for a little bit of a while. Do you know

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Speaker 1: what the e t A is? He doesn't even look

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Speaker 1: up at me. He says, there are four people who

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Speaker 1: was here before you, who've been here longer than you.

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Speaker 1: I said, I understand that, but I also seen people

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Speaker 1: come after me who've already been seen and dismissed. I'm

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Speaker 1: just wondering why we've had to wait. How he came

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Speaker 1: from another hospital, he says, what we take patients depending

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Speaker 1: on what's important, gunshot wounds, asthma. While I was in there,

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Speaker 1: nobody came with a gunshot wound, so that's neither here.

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Speaker 1: So I said, sir, how can you decide what's important

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Speaker 1: or not if no one has triaged my son? He says,

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Speaker 1: when the nurse spoke to him, she made a decision.

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Speaker 1: I said, she asked three questions, and no one checks

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Speaker 1: his vitals. He then starts to ignore me, so I

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Speaker 1: was starting to get upset. I said, hey, do you

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Speaker 1: have any children? Doesn't look up at man. He says no.

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Speaker 1: At this time, one of the security guards, who is

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Speaker 1: an off duty police officer, comes up and says, hey, sir, um,

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Speaker 1: is everything okay? I said, no, everything's not okay. This

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Speaker 1: young man is being extremely dismissive. He goes, well. The

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Speaker 1: security guard goes, can you have a seat? I said, yes,

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Speaker 1: I have a seat. But if I say I'll blow

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Speaker 1: this motherfucker up, then he'll pay attention. He goes, you know,

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Speaker 1: you can't say that. I said, that's my point. I

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Speaker 1: can't say that, but it would get everybody to pay

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Speaker 1: attention me while my son is in the car with

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Speaker 1: abdominal paying for the past three hours, possible appendicitis, and

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Speaker 1: no one has triashed him. He says, you know what,

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Speaker 1: that's not right. I'm gonna find out what's going on.

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Speaker 1: I sit down and wait another twenty five minutes, calmly, patiently.

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Speaker 1: I don't say anything to anybody. I'm just waiting. While

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Speaker 1: I'm waiting, I noticed another young father comes in, another

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Speaker 1: black father. He has his son. It's son. He's been

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Speaker 1: waiting there for the past twenty minutes. Now I've been

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Speaker 1: here almost three hours. He's been waiting for twenty minutes.

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Speaker 1: He starts to get upset. He says, listen, are you

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Speaker 1: guys understaffed? Because this doesn't make any sense. My child

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Speaker 1: has autism. If he wakes up in an environment he's

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Speaker 1: not familiar with seeing all these people, he's gonna have

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Speaker 1: an episode. At that time, the triage nurse, the same

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Speaker 1: triage nurse that told me to wait there, takes his

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Speaker 1: son directly to get triashed. So I look at the

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Speaker 1: security guard like, hey, you see what I'm saying. Something's

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Speaker 1: not right here. I'm still waiting in their take people

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Speaker 1: in the triage. He looks at me. He goes, you

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Speaker 1: know what, so you're absolutely right. Let me go see

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Speaker 1: what I can find out for you. He goes over

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Speaker 1: to the young man behind the desk to try to

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Speaker 1: find out some information. The young man completely ignores him.

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Speaker 1: He then goes directly to the triage No. She says, hey,

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Speaker 1: can I ask a question? Why haven't you called Ellis?

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Speaker 1: She walks by him. Now he's starting to get a

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Speaker 1: little bit upset. He waits outside of the triage area,

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Speaker 1: waits for her to come out. She comes out. He goes,

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Speaker 1: excuse me, ma'am, why haven't you called Ellis? She says,

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Speaker 1: Is this is why you're calling me? He says yes.

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Speaker 1: She says, verbatim, I didn't call his son because he

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Speaker 1: didn't want to have his son wait in the waiting room.

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Speaker 1: I heard that and I freaking lost it. I got up.

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Speaker 1: I said this is bullshit. The minute I stood up,

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Speaker 1: the security guards came right over to me and was

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Speaker 1: trying to calm me down. I said, no, this is

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Speaker 1: fucked up. And the words I use right now, I'm

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Speaker 1: not the proudest, but this is what I said. I

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Speaker 1: said that white bitch decided to deny my son care

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Speaker 1: because I wouldn't listen to what she wanted. I had

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Speaker 1: to take liberties as a parent. I have an immune

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Speaker 1: compromised son at home. I can't have my son sitting

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Speaker 1: in the waiting area with fourteen thousand kids coughing and sneezing.

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Speaker 1: Then he goes home with another virus that he brings

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Speaker 1: to his brothers. He says, sir, you're absolutely right, but

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna need you to calm down. If you don't

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Speaker 1: calm down, I'm gonna have to deal with you once

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Speaker 1: He said that I felt triggered, so I took my

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Speaker 1: hoodie off. I said, if you want to deal with me,

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Speaker 1: be ready to fucking deal with me. At this point,

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Speaker 1: he realized that I wasn't playing Prior to this, He

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Speaker 1: told me to text my wife and told her to

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Speaker 1: bring my wife inside because he was going to make

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Speaker 1: sure that my son was seeing. By the time Kate

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Speaker 1: comes inside, I'm surrounded by about six police officers and

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Speaker 1: security guard. Kay says, Babe, what's going on? I repeated,

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Speaker 1: this big white bitch decided that she was going to

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Speaker 1: have our son wait in the car for three hours

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Speaker 1: with possible appendicitis because we shows not to have him

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Speaker 1: wait in the waiting room. And when I asked questions,

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Speaker 1: the little white boy behind the desk with the fucking

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Speaker 1: bang was completely dismissive. Once I started speaking out and

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Speaker 1: everyone was listening to what was going off, other nurses

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Speaker 1: came black nurses. Of course, the security people I was

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Speaker 1: dealing with were all black. Extremely compassionate, extremely compassionate, listen

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Speaker 1: to every word I had to say. I explained how

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Speaker 1: wrong it was. I made it very clear if my

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Speaker 1: son would have died with the pendicitist in the car.

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Speaker 1: All I would have gotten was an apology from the hospital,

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Speaker 1: and all of this could have been avoided if they

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Speaker 1: would have just triaged my son. But when do you

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Speaker 1: ever go to a hospital and not get triage for

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Speaker 1: three hours because you were basically you don't want to

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Speaker 1: sit in the lobby at this point, Now I've made

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Speaker 1: a scene. They've asked me to step outside. Everyone's listened

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Speaker 1: and out of nowhere. It's wait a minute, we have

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Speaker 1: a room for Cairo, So ka goes. So we sat

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Speaker 1: in the car for three hours, not triaged husband, causes

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Speaker 1: a fit, and now you have a room for my son,

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Speaker 1: I said, you know what? And at this point I

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Speaker 1: had to make a decision because I didn't want anyone

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Speaker 1: in there to touch my son. But I had to

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Speaker 1: be honest. If Cairo was dealing with the pendicitist, if

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Speaker 1: we went to another hospital, we would have had to

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Speaker 1: wait to reregister him again and it would have been

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Speaker 1: another couple of hours. I said, since you have a room,

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Speaker 1: my son can go inside and me seen by a doctor.

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Speaker 1: But that bitch ain't touching my son. Am I proud

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Speaker 1: of calling her a bitch? No? But I'm gonna tell

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Speaker 1: you like this in that moment, I felt so helpless.

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Speaker 1: I really was waiting for someone to touch me because

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Speaker 1: I wanted to unload all of this fury I had

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Speaker 1: in this moment on whoever was going to stop my

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Speaker 1: son from being seen. And I had a woman next

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Speaker 1: to me and my wife, Cadine, who was ready to

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Speaker 1: do the same thing. Yeah, I told her, and that

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Speaker 1: moment she said, what do you want me to do?

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Speaker 1: I said, Okay, take my wallet, take my phone because

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Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna end up going to jail because I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna kill every body in this motherfucker. Bro. After that three,

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Speaker 1: I've been getting so round, get mad every time I'm

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Speaker 1: hot right now thinking about it, just just it was crazy, y'all. Crazy.

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Speaker 1: Don't push me because close to try again not to

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Speaker 1: lose my head. They got to feel us some time

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Speaker 1: to maybe wonder why they want to take usunder. They

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Speaker 1: want to take us under, baby, bro, listen, John Q

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Speaker 1: up in that bitch, and I promise you. It crossed

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Speaker 1: my mind when I was in the car with Cairo

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Speaker 1: and I was watching him kind of sleep for a

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Speaker 1: little bit, and then he started to kind of whimper.

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Speaker 1: I was like, mm hmmm, mm hmmm, we're about to

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Speaker 1: unleash and come back bills and we'll get into a

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Speaker 1: story time will gives you some more details about everything

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Speaker 1: that happened, and we'll talk about this health care system

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Speaker 1: and what is looking like or not. Okay, we're back guys. Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to try to use levity and laugh during

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Speaker 1: this situation, because ultimately Cairo was fine, but this was serious.

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Speaker 1: This was extremely serious, and there were some other things

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Speaker 1: that I saw during that night that I want to

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Speaker 1: talk about that made me want to talk about this

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Speaker 1: in this podcast. So just um to paggyback off of

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Speaker 1: your story time, just from my perspective of course, me

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Speaker 1: being Mama Beer being concerned, and then also not being

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Speaker 1: in the room at the time with Devout while he

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Speaker 1: was waiting with Cairo. At one point at the first hospital,

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Speaker 1: I went in to bring Cairo's water bottle and he

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Speaker 1: was literally screaming in tears um from pain. And then

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Speaker 1: I had to go back to the car and I

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Speaker 1: was just literally in tears in the car and just

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Speaker 1: calling all of my prayer warrior friends to just pray

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Speaker 1: over Arrow and the doctors and the nurses in that moment,

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Speaker 1: because we just did not know what was happening and

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Speaker 1: having on and off pain from the Thursday being sent

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Speaker 1: home from school. You know, it just seems like something

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Speaker 1: wasn't right. There was like a relationship between him getting

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Speaker 1: the medication and the fever coming down and the pain

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Speaker 1: going away, then it came back. So that's what was

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Speaker 1: alarming to us, UM, and Tyros was a tough kid.

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Speaker 1: He usually will be all right, he'll tough it out.

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Speaker 1: But to see him in that excruciating pain and as

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Speaker 1: a parent not being able to do anything about it

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Speaker 1: was I think that even more triggering for you and

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Speaker 1: I when Devout called me to finally come inside after

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Speaker 1: having waiting for almost three and a half now four hours,

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Speaker 1: because I was timing when the medication might have worn off. Um,

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Speaker 1: I walked inside with Cayro on my back, and I

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Speaker 1: walked into Devout pretty much handing me his keys, his everything,

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Speaker 1: and it's just like, I'm going to jail because I can't.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, wait a second, what's about to

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Speaker 1: go down? Because I was ready to put Kyro down

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Speaker 1: and be like, so, what's happening because I think you

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Speaker 1: had told him, my wife is gonna come in here,

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Speaker 1: and it's gonna be a big problem. No, I literally

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Speaker 1: said to them, because I knew the nurse was a woman.

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Speaker 1: I and I hate talking about this because I'm not

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Speaker 1: a violent person and you should never resort to violence,

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Speaker 1: but I just want to I want to speak honestly

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Speaker 1: about how I felt different parents in the moment. I

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Speaker 1: felt like someone use their position of power to endanger

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Speaker 1: my son's life and hurt my son for three hours.

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Speaker 1: He had to sit in the car in pain, and

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Speaker 1: although he was medicated and it wasn't the same excruciating pain,

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Speaker 1: he's in the car, writhing in pain, in and out

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Speaker 1: of sleep, and my wife is sitting in there, and

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, you chose to hurt a six year

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Speaker 1: old boy because his parents decided they weren't going to

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Speaker 1: put their son in any further danger by having them

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Speaker 1: wait in the lobby. I would now, I would have

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Speaker 1: been a little bit more understanding if I said, all

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Speaker 1: three of us are gonna wait in the car and

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Speaker 1: someone has to come get us, because that wasn't the case.

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Speaker 1: And I went in there purposely like any old regular civilian,

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Speaker 1: you know that, saying we didn't go in there saying,

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Speaker 1: you know, my my husband's an actor. Or Devot wasn't

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Speaker 1: pulling any car. It's like, you know, you know, a

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Speaker 1: following of people that know he went, went in there

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Speaker 1: and prepared to wait like every other person, every other parent,

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Speaker 1: and that even though we were sent from another hospital,

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Speaker 1: and part of me once I said, you know what,

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Speaker 1: none of this would have happened if I would have

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Speaker 1: let them just take Cairo in an ambulance. But we

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Speaker 1: were trying to think quicker on our feet and get

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Speaker 1: in there faster, because if he would have came in

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Speaker 1: an ambulance, they wouldn't have had him wait there. They

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Speaker 1: would have triaged him in the ambulance and took him

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Speaker 1: right to a room. But when they gave us the

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Speaker 1: option to potentially take him and then still be seen

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Speaker 1: immediately they told us, asked for this doctor, and you

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Speaker 1: will be seen. They pretty much less we called there

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Speaker 1: waiting for you. So I was under the impression that

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Speaker 1: we were going to go right into a room. And

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Speaker 1: when the young man dismissed me at the front desk,

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Speaker 1: even still we waited three hours. We didn't cause a fuss,

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Speaker 1: we didn't we didn't bring up anything. We just waited.

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Speaker 1: And I felt in that moment that she just used

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Speaker 1: whatever little power she had to punish Cairo absolutely for

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Speaker 1: a decision that we made. Absolutely. And it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: in that moment too, you try try to see other

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Speaker 1: than a race situation, right, you try, and you try

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Speaker 1: to give people the benefit of the down. And he said,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I know. My mom has been a

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Speaker 1: nursing for years. My sister was an e our nurse,

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Speaker 1: so I get that things get crazy in there and

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Speaker 1: they sometimes have to make difficult decisions. But I felt

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Speaker 1: like she was just being vindictive in that moment. I

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Speaker 1: felt she was just like, Oh, well, these mothercker's ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna listen to me, so I'm gonna show them today.

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Speaker 1: That's what it felt like. It was very much giving, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna show these nicks today, Like y'all, y'all gonna

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Speaker 1: listen to me. I told you to wait in the

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Speaker 1: waiting room. You're gonna wait in your car, all right,

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Speaker 1: So I got something for you. That's what it felt like.

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Speaker 1: And that's when I was ready to pop off. But

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Speaker 1: but that, but babe, that's what she said. She literally

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Speaker 1: said to him in a condescenating manner. I didn't call

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Speaker 1: his name because he didn't want to wait in the

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Speaker 1: waiting room. That's what she said. She didn't think I

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Speaker 1: could hear. She had a mask on. She was speaking

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Speaker 1: to him, but I was listening keenly because I had

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Speaker 1: nothing else to do. I was there for three hours,

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Speaker 1: and I wanted to know what the issue was. And

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Speaker 1: then on top of that, remember he was taking the

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Speaker 1: pain medication and it was no pain up until the

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Speaker 1: sixth hour. There was now going on the fourth hour,

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Speaker 1: and he started to feel more pain. And this moment,

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking it's getting worse. It's getting worse. Has his

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Speaker 1: appendix rub shirt, has it become so inflamed that now

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Speaker 1: he may need surgery. And I'm thinking those three hours

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Speaker 1: he's spent in the car put my son's life in danger,

404
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,280
Speaker 1: could have been and I wanted to put my hands

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Speaker 1: on her. And I'm not a violent person at all, right,

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Speaker 1: but that's how I felt. So when I took my

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Speaker 1: hoodie off and then the officers are like, I'm gonna

408
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Speaker 1: have to deal with you, I was ready for them

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Speaker 1: to deal with me. And I said, well, you know what,

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Speaker 1: y'all gonna deal with me, but that bitch is gonna

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Speaker 1: have to deal with my wife. Yeah, because I came

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Speaker 1: in and you came in fury right after that, right

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Speaker 1: after Kyro on my back. Um, and it's crazy how

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Speaker 1: I saw a develop in that moment. It was rage,

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Speaker 1: it was fury. I was ready to put Kyro down

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Speaker 1: and pop off and do whatever had to be done

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Speaker 1: in that moment. And then when this black nurse came

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Speaker 1: over to me and whispered, he says, we have a

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Speaker 1: room for him, We have a room for him. It

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Speaker 1: was like an instant switch because then I went back

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Speaker 1: into Mama Bear and I was like, wait, he can

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Speaker 1: get seen now. So it was too part from me

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Speaker 1: was like, great, he can get seen now, let me

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Speaker 1: take him straight back. But it was also all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden I found a room after we were waiting

426
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:07,760
Speaker 1: here for almost four hours. Now, all of a sudden,

427
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 1: there's a room for us. Okay, that's convenient. But I

428
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 1: took Kyro in the back because at this point, now

429
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 1: Cayro that naturally is in pain, but he's also scared,

430
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 1: and he's just like what's going on. I'm saying that

431
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 1: I'm fine, don't have to say we can go home.

432
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,240
Speaker 1: I'm fine. Yeah, And we knew he wasn't. He was

433
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 1: just trying to be a big boy and was at

434
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 1: this point in tears and I felt and it wasn't

435
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:33,399
Speaker 1: even it wasn't even tears, like more anger. I was

436
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 1: afraid and I felt so bad. I felt like in

437
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 1: that moment, I couldn't protect my son. For three hours,

438
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:43,159
Speaker 1: I sat here, docile and waiting while this woman was

439
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 1: being vindictive about punishing my son, and I did nothing.

440
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 1: I felt guilty as a father. I felt like I

441
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,440
Speaker 1: let you down as a husband. I feel like I

442
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 1: let Kyro down as a dad. And at that point,

443
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 1: I was so upset that I was ready to just

444
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,680
Speaker 1: let it all out on the line and not care

445
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 1: what happened. To prove a point that you think you

446
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 1: can prove a point with my child, I'm about to

447
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 1: prove a point. And that's that's just where I was

448
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 1: in the moment. And then it started to all like

449
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 1: everything that was happening was in playback. Right before me

450
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:13,119
Speaker 1: and Cairo signed up, there was another young lady that

451
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,200
Speaker 1: was there with her eight month old daughter, black woman.

452
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 1: They were her eight month old daughter and her sister,

453
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,240
Speaker 1: and they were there right before we were. Their daughter

454
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:26,680
Speaker 1: was coughing a lot, and she was not triaged. They

455
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,159
Speaker 1: then asked, you know, I saw her right before I

456
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 1: got up to ask. She got up to say hey.

457
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,159
Speaker 1: She was very kind to She said, hey, I just

458
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 1: want to know. She asked, the same young man with

459
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,480
Speaker 1: the bang at the fucking counter, what's the e t A?

460
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 1: Because you know we've been here for a while and

461
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 1: I'm running out of formula. You know, my my daughter

462
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 1: was getting a little rested. I have no formula and

463
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to leave him Mr Coole.

464
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,400
Speaker 1: The young man says to her, Well, you're just gonna

465
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 1: have to wait, because if you leave and come back,

466
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 1: you have to start all over again, and if you

467
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,920
Speaker 1: go somewhere else, it's going to be the same thing.

468
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 1: No compassion. No, didn't offer a resolution. We're in it

469
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 1: Ldren's hospital. Hey, No, it was just you gotta sit

470
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 1: down and wait. So I watched this young lady take

471
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 1: her baby and have to make a decision. Am I

472
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 1: gonna go get formula? Or am I gonna go get

473
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,920
Speaker 1: seen by a nurse? After waiting here for three hours,

474
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 1: and they chose to leave. Now, this is my thing.

475
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 1: That young lady was sitting there with her daughter, coughing

476
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 1: and hacking very similar to how Dakoda was coughing and

477
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,159
Speaker 1: hacking in here one day and we were able to

478
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 1: take the coda to a doctor found out Dakota had

479
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 1: crew croup is a virus that causes inflammation in your

480
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,680
Speaker 1: past your ear passage, and at that age they don't

481
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 1: have the ability to fight it like us. So he

482
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 1: had to then get a nebulized to clear his ear

483
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 1: passage because the smaller to get, the closer he gets

484
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,160
Speaker 1: to suffocating in his sleep. What if that young lady

485
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 1: went home and something happened to her baby because no

486
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 1: one showed her compassion. And this goes back to the

487
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: old saying when a black woman tells you she's in pain,

488
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,640
Speaker 1: you gotta listen. Like and and I. I sat here

489
00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:01,120
Speaker 1: in this emergency room, children's emergency room, and watch all

490
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 1: these other people get seen me in and out, get

491
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 1: seeing me in and out. But that young woman had

492
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,639
Speaker 1: to wait and chose to leave. And I had to

493
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,400
Speaker 1: cause a freaking scene in order to get my son

494
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,879
Speaker 1: to be seen at the Children's Hospital of Atlanta. And

495
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 1: the reason why I'm saying this is because Kadena and

496
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 1: I are not taking as lightly. And we're not taking

497
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 1: as lightly because we want any money. I don't want

498
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,640
Speaker 1: anything from them. I want consequences to be handed down

499
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 1: to the people in that emergency room, and I want

500
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 1: protocols to be put in place to protect people who

501
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,360
Speaker 1: look like us, Because everybody like Kadena and I don't

502
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 1: have the finances and the resources to have grandparents at

503
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,919
Speaker 1: home to watch the other kids, to wait in the

504
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: emergency room for three hours. They don't have the resources

505
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 1: to call a private physician to come to the house

506
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 1: and look at the baby. Some people just have to

507
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 1: go to the emergency room. And if you're not met

508
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 1: with empathy and compassion in the emergency room, that's how

509
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 1: people lose loved ones in the emergency room. Just like

510
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 1: it would have been as simple as this, right people

511
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 1: saying well, what would have been an easy thing, easy fixed?

512
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 1: For all you people who are nurses who are saying, well,

513
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 1: things get crazy in the emergency room, it would have

514
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: been this simple. Mr Ellis, you said he might have appendicitis.

515
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 1: For all of you who don't know what appendicitis is,

516
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,680
Speaker 1: UH is when the appendix becomes inflamed. If the appendix

517
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,719
Speaker 1: becomes too inflamed and it ruptures all of the bio

518
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 1: and everything that's in your body then unloads and creates

519
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 1: an infection in the entire in your entire stomach, in

520
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 1: your entire system, and can cause you to die. That's

521
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,880
Speaker 1: what appendicitis is. So when they talk about we take

522
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,640
Speaker 1: people based on what's more important. Apendicitis is up there,

523
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 1: Consider that we're being sent from another hospital who saw

524
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: it as an emergency. It's like, come on, guys, there's

525
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 1: no gunshot victims in here, there's no stab wounds. It's

526
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:42,199
Speaker 1: a children's hospital exactly. So for my thing, it was

527
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 1: it was as simple as you're saying, okay, you came

528
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: here with the pendicitis. Let me check his temperature, his

529
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 1: fevers down, she did that. Let me take his vitals.

530
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 1: Let me see where's where's his heart rate, you know,

531
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 1: because sometimes your heart rate is connected directly corrected to infection.

532
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 1: Things are going on in your body. Things can happen differently.

533
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: When they take all of your vinyls, take all of

534
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 1: his vitals, which would have took five minutes. Check his abdomen,

535
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 1: see if the pain has subsided or if it's intensified.

536
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,160
Speaker 1: If it's intensified, that means we're getting closer to inflammation

537
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 1: and a rupture. If it's subsided, even with the medication,

538
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 1: which we found out afterwards, then you know it's not

539
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 1: a pendicitis. That would have took them five minutes. And

540
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 1: at that point they would have say, hey, Mr Ellis,

541
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,640
Speaker 1: it's clear that he doesn't have a pendicitis. His fever

542
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,640
Speaker 1: didn't come back. Do you mind waiting while we tend

543
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:29,639
Speaker 1: to other people who may have some more serious issues

544
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: and figure out what's wrong with him. And at that

545
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,359
Speaker 1: point I would have said, sure, at least I know

546
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:38,439
Speaker 1: my son's not in the car possibly dying. But no

547
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 1: one had the care or its core health care for

548
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,120
Speaker 1: a reason, right, no one had the empathy just say

549
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 1: let me make sure that this young man is okay.

550
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,199
Speaker 1: And it was as simple as when we finally got

551
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:50,880
Speaker 1: into the room. Now. So now I'm in the room

552
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 1: with Cairo, trying to calm Cairo down and just saying

553
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 1: to him, you know, babe, I want you to be

554
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 1: honest about how you feel. Do you feel any pain,

555
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 1: does your stomach hurt? Show me where? Because I didn't

556
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,159
Speaker 1: want Cairo to then just say he was okay for

557
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 1: the sake of saying he's okay, because he was more

558
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 1: concerned about you. So I said, listen, dad, he's gonna

559
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: be fine. I said, I'm going to text him right now.

560
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 1: As I said, do you want to call him? He said,

561
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: you can text him. I text you, and I said,

562
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 1: what did I say? Said? Baby? Please? Cairo's okay, and

563
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 1: he needs you back here. Please just try to calm

564
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: down and so you can come back, because at this

565
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 1: point I didn't think Deval was even going to be

566
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: allowed back into the room with us, after making threats

567
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 1: and saying the things I said, Yeah, you know, they

568
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 1: were saying that, you know, they shouldn't let you back

569
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 1: in the hospital. But they did let me back in

570
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 1: the hospital because clearly we were in the right exactly,

571
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,199
Speaker 1: and I think the security guard he knew that off

572
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 1: duty cop. And then they sent the nurse home. Yes,

573
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,359
Speaker 1: So when the doctor came in, it was as simple

574
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 1: as her literally pressing on his abdomen to say, Okay,

575
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 1: this is not appendicitis. If it were, he would feel

576
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 1: that I'm pressing down. He couldn't stand he, you know,

577
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: But we realized at this point the motrain was still

578
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: in place, his fever wasn't coming back. He ended up

579
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,159
Speaker 1: being diagnosed with a really bad case of gas d

580
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: What she said presents itself in different ways. So if

581
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 1: you have gash room tornus, or stomach flu or a

582
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 1: stomach bug, you can get fever, you get nausea, you

583
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: can get diarrhea. You could also get intense stomach pain

584
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 1: and cramping as it is trying to get the virus

585
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 1: out of your body. And what happened was since Cairo

586
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 1: wasn't eating because he felt sick and the cramping was coming,

587
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:21,919
Speaker 1: it was causing him to throw up, and it was

588
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 1: throwing up nothing but bile and mucus, which causes more

589
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: pain and more inflammation in his esophagus because there's nothing

590
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,159
Speaker 1: but bio. So she was just like the pain he

591
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:36,120
Speaker 1: felt was severe. It wasn't as severe as appendicitis pain,

592
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 1: but him as a six year old wouldn't know that.

593
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 1: So when he feels the intense cramping and he's hunched over,

594
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 1: it was more than what he could articulate as a

595
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: six Exactly. That was the thing for us. We know

596
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 1: an ache versus cramp versus a dull pain versus a

597
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 1: sharp pain. For him, he just saying it hurts. And

598
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 1: then as a parent, you're just like ship like, I

599
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: don't even know what kind of pain it is, what

600
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 1: pain has known that. It was just that he was

601
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 1: kept saying, you felt nause is and that was his symptom,

602
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 1: was the cramping and the naja. He was doing a

603
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 1: lot of vomiting and stuff like that. So um, once

604
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 1: the doctor you know, cleared him, he was good, gave

605
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 1: him some anti nasea medication, gave him something for the cramping.

606
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 1: I demanded to see the nurse on duty, whoever the

607
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 1: manager or that the head nurse chief nurse on duty

608
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 1: was and um, we explained to her what happened. Um.

609
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 1: At this point they were changing shifts too, so she

610
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 1: was kind of coming into the story. UM. And of

611
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 1: course we don't expect for them not to stick together. Um.

612
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 1: The nurse pretty much was saying that the triage nurse

613
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 1: was not in the wrong because she was just following

614
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 1: protocol and Cairo was not as deemed severe as an

615
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: issue when she first um saw him, so therefore she

616
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 1: felt like he was able to wait, which we know

617
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 1: was just bullshit in the end, because again Devout heard

618
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 1: with his own ears the reason why Cairo was pushed

619
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 1: on the waiting list further down. Additionally, they don't know

620
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 1: that they're dealing with a family as filled with healthcare professionals.

621
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 1: Can's mom has been the director of nursing at a

622
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 1: hospital for over twenty five years. Sister is now an

623
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: e er nurse. So when we went back, we went

624
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,920
Speaker 1: back with the proper terms to use to ask for

625
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 1: the right people to get things done. And we want

626
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 1: to explain this to people so you know, if you

627
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 1: ever find yourself in a position like this, the first

628
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: thing you do is ask for the house supervisor. When

629
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 1: you ask for the house supervisor in the hospital, the

630
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 1: house supervisor has to listen to your case. Because one

631
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 1: thing hospitals don't want, especially children hospitals, is bad pruins ultimately,

632
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,720
Speaker 1: so when you ask for the house supervisor and the

633
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 1: patient representative, they have to sit down and listen to

634
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 1: your case and ship rolls downhill. When you start asking

635
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 1: for those people, they have to do a thorough investigation,

636
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 1: and once they do a thorough investigation, they're they're going

637
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 1: to have to be some disciplinary action if they find

638
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: wrong doing done. When you don't know who to ask for,

639
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 1: which a lot of times people in these positions don't

640
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 1: know who to ask for, right, so they ask for

641
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 1: another nurse, they ask for security, so they'll speak to security,

642
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 1: which can't do any thing, or they'll speak to another

643
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 1: nurse who's also on the job, who is going to

644
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 1: look out for the nurses there, because sometimes these nurses

645
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 1: don't know the stresses that have gone on, so they

646
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 1: just try to appease people, which is not a bad

647
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: thing if you're a nurse, and if you're a good nurse,

648
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 1: all you care about is the patient and what I

649
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 1: will say about them. All the nurses that followed cared

650
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 1: more about Cairo than the situation, which is all we

651
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: wanted anyway. All they asked from the beginning was is

652
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 1: Cairo okay? That's the minute they came in. The nurse

653
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 1: that came in afterwards, when we asked to speak to

654
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 1: the nurses supervisor, the first thing she said when she

655
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,840
Speaker 1: came in the room, Hey, guys, sorry about anything. How

656
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: is Cairo? That's all we wanted anyway, for some care

657
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 1: and compassion. But if you find yourself in a position

658
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: in the hospital where you feel like you were treated poorly,

659
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 1: asked for the house supervisor supervisor and asked for the

660
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 1: patient representative. They will listen to you and they make

661
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: sure things get done, because what hospitals don't want is

662
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 1: for the state to get a report, because that's how

663
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 1: hospitals get citations and they get shut down. And the

664
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 1: hospital is a business like anything else. They don't want

665
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 1: citations and they don't want bad pr Yeah. So this

666
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 1: experience that our local children's hospital is indicative of a

667
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: larger issue in the health care system. Is the lack

668
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,240
Speaker 1: of care in the health care system for people. Um

669
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: that's attendant that it is intended to serve. So in August,

670
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:21,480
Speaker 1: a company called well Star Health Systems announced that it

671
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 1: would be closing the Atlanta Medical Center on November one.

672
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 1: So what does this do now? It leaves the city

673
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: with just one operating level one trauma center one or

674
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 1: entire city of the City of Atlanta has one. Right,

675
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 1: So representatives for the City of Atlanta fear that disclosure

676
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:43,479
Speaker 1: will disproportionate, oh my goodness, sorry, disproportionately affect the city's

677
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: low income residents and create a literal life or death

678
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 1: situation for an already vulnerable population. Which this is a

679
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 1: perfect example of what happened because we we got out lucky.

680
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 1: What if Cairo had appendicitis? And his appendix was inflamed, right,

681
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 1: knock on wood, right, But what if that were the case.

682
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 1: We get over there, we get dismissed, not once, but twice,

683
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 1: and then we get punished for not having our son

684
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 1: in the waiting room and Cairo's appendix ruptures in the car.

685
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 1: Then what do we get? You know what we get?

686
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 1: We get an apology from the hospital, and then we

687
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: get a hashtag and then we start this. Now we

688
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 1: have to change the protocols. So we were lucky that

689
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 1: Cairo didn't have appendiconist, But just imagine how many people

690
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,239
Speaker 1: come to the hospital with life and death situations and

691
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 1: have to make a decision, just like the young lady

692
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: had to make a decision. Am I gonna wait for

693
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 1: three hours or get formula for my eight months old

694
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 1: child who's coughing and hacking? And she chose to leave.

695
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 1: First of all, prayers up for that young lady and

696
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 1: her family help. Everything is well with her daughter. But

697
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: people should not have to make those decisions living in America.

698
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: It's just not fair. In Atlanta at the children that

699
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 1: was the I think the most mind blown apart for me,

700
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 1: this is the children's hospital. This is just not like

701
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 1: you know, everyone's there are adults who can just kind

702
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,959
Speaker 1: of manage themselves and kind of just know, you know,

703
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 1: how to express how they feel and know how to

704
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 1: deal with pain to a certain extent. This is all

705
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 1: happening in the children's hospital. So the strain that's in

706
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 1: the strain that situations like this put on the health

707
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 1: care system is literally a trickle down effect going from

708
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: providers to patients, making it hard to be seen, heard,

709
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 1: and most importantly cared for in your most vulnerable moments,

710
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 1: which was definitely what we experienced in this moment, and

711
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: we just felt like we had to speak up about it.

712
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 1: Devin and I went back to the hospital when we

713
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 1: kind of had some sleep, just a clear conscience. We

714
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 1: wanted to also get um, you know, first and last

715
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: names of some of the security guards who we dealt with,

716
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 1: and also give a shout out to those who work, yes,

717
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 1: who not vulnerable, who who did show empathy, right and

718
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 1: and we're compassionate. The entire security team. Oh, they were

719
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 1: great because they could have handled it differently, right. And

720
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 1: this is another another reason why it's important to have

721
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 1: people like you who looked like you. They're because they

722
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,439
Speaker 1: see you as human. I felt the humanized in that moment,

723
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 1: I felt like she didn't care. I was just another

724
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 1: number to just another patient. And the way she dismissed me,

725
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 1: and and the way the young man behind the desk

726
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,399
Speaker 1: dismissed me was almost like, we see young black people

727
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 1: in here all the time. Just go wait, just go wait,

728
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 1: just go wait. But it wasn't until the black nurses

729
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 1: came and the security team. For example, these were off

730
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: duty police officers. And you hear so many times about

731
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: how police officers don't come ready to de escalate the situation.

732
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 1: But this, this man, and I'm not going to say

733
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:36,279
Speaker 1: his name around upon the podcast, but this this man

734
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:41,800
Speaker 1: had children and chose not to do what he should

735
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 1: have or could have done in that moment, which was

736
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 1: arrest me, right, he chose to listen and I and

737
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 1: being seen and feeling feeling feeling like I was seeing

738
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,240
Speaker 1: and being heard allowed me to calm down a little

739
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 1: bit in the moment, to give a clear and concise,

740
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 1: uh version of what happened so that people can have

741
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:01,799
Speaker 1: a better understanding. Yeah, because the last thing you want

742
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 1: to just be is that what they want to see

743
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:09,320
Speaker 1: the typical erratic, Yeah, exactly, who is just being irrational?

744
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 1: And just flying off the handle. This didn't all happen

745
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 1: for no reason. This happened after almost four hours of

746
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,400
Speaker 1: being dismissed and being put on the back burner, So

747
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 1: that was important. And I remember looking at this particular

748
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 1: security guard and he looked me in the eye and

749
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 1: he said, ms ellis your husband's gonna be okay? Just

750
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:28,360
Speaker 1: focus on your son. And that was just like okay,

751
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: So at least I felt like, having just met this

752
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:33,560
Speaker 1: man in this situation a couple of minutes ago, I

753
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:38,399
Speaker 1: felt enough ease, and I felt definitely a special person,

754
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 1: like all right, I kind of trust you to make

755
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 1: sure that my husband's okay. And he's an example as

756
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 1: to why people say, why do black people continue to

757
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 1: join the police force? Why are they first responded in

758
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 1: our areas? Why should be in our neighborhood. This is

759
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:52,759
Speaker 1: a perfect example we can relate to each other. He

760
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 1: saw me, he saw himself and me and treated me

761
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:59,319
Speaker 1: like a human. That's it. And if the nurse saw

762
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,360
Speaker 1: me and viewed me the same way, none of this

763
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 1: would have ever happened. Oh absolutely not. And without saying it,

764
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:08,319
Speaker 1: because no one actually said it, but the security team

765
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:10,279
Speaker 1: and some of those nurses who came, they were kind

766
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 1: of rallying around me. It's almost like they saw this before. No,

767
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:18,399
Speaker 1: they definitely said to me. No, they verbatim. You know,

768
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:20,360
Speaker 1: a few of them said to me, bro, this is

769
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 1: happening all this happens all the time. That's literally what

770
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 1: they said to me. This happens all the time. So

771
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 1: this isn't about Cairo. This is about the protocols in

772
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 1: place and how they're very dismissive to disenfranchise people who

773
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 1: go to these hospitals because hospitals are big business. Not

774
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 1: to mention, like we know Sakari isn't ther nurse. A

775
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:45,920
Speaker 1: large part of the staff is overworked and tired, right,

776
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 1: So we're not going to sit here and make it

777
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 1: seem like they're not human as well. They are human.

778
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 1: And even said she said, you know, one of the

779
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: reasons why I didn't want to work in peds is

780
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 1: because you have to deal with parents a lot like

781
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,879
Speaker 1: Pdr Short we have pediatrics, but she said, a lot

782
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 1: of times we just like are so stressed that we

783
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 1: don't want to have to deal with like two parents

784
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: screaming at you because there because of their child, which

785
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 1: is not easy. It's not it's not easy. So we

786
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: get that, like I completely get that having family in

787
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:16,560
Speaker 1: the health care system who are workers. So we we

788
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:20,360
Speaker 1: came to the hospital with the level of compassion and

789
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,959
Speaker 1: empathy for healthcare workers because we have family who spent

790
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:27,359
Speaker 1: their entire life dedicated to the health care systems. Why

791
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 1: we understood the weight. We understood protocol because it's the

792
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 1: hierarchy of who gets treated for what. Absolutely, but that

793
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 1: wasn't our case. That wasn't our case. We were being

794
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 1: punished because we didn't want to listen. And here's another

795
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 1: thing that we were told. You know how many parents,

796
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 1: and this is something that parents need to understand when

797
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 1: you go to the hospital. You know how many people

798
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 1: get tested for COVID upon entry to the emergency room

799
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 1: and test negative. Then when they leave, they test positive.

800
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: We're still in the pandemic. People. So if I, as

801
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 1: a parent, want to choose to not have my child

802
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 1: in a crowded space, I reserved the right to do that.

803
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:07,440
Speaker 1: And you can't punish me and my child for doing

804
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 1: what's best for not only him, but for everybody in

805
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,360
Speaker 1: the room. Because it was crowded. Yes, there were people

806
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 1: not sitting, there were people standing at that point, you

807
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: went like you were sitting on the floor. When you

808
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 1: sent me a photo where you were, I was like, bro,

809
00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 1: it's it's overwhelming. And I can understand if we were

810
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 1: trying to be divers or we were trying to pull

811
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,399
Speaker 1: cards or throw names out there and be like, YO,

812
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 1: call us when his name, I come to the car

813
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:30,839
Speaker 1: and get us or text me or call me. When

814
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 1: that wasn't the case. It really was like, okay, on

815
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 1: Cairo's behalf, it's father is going to sit here and

816
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 1: wait and they can check the tapes. I sat in

817
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 1: that corner with all the people coughing for two hours.

818
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 1: Another family came in with two kids who was sick

819
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 1: and coughing, and there was no seats, and I gave

820
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 1: them my seat. It was that crowded. I was compliant.

821
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,400
Speaker 1: You know how they always say to black people, why

822
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 1: don't you just comply? I was complying for three hours

823
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 1: and my son. This is why sometimes black people get

824
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,760
Speaker 1: pissed when you say why don't you just comply? Because

825
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 1: I complied with everything and was still treated like less

826
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 1: than human. And my son, who's six, who can't defend himself,

827
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 1: was treated that way. And I can't find no levity

828
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:15,799
Speaker 1: because I get fucking piss thinking about this. It's not

829
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 1: like there really is, and I feel bad for people

830
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 1: who don't know how to speak up for themselves, right,

831
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 1: I didn't care about who was videotaping me, who saw me,

832
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:27,360
Speaker 1: who was like, oh, that's the that's devout from the

833
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 1: elyssis exactly like this, So that's that I didn't care

834
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 1: at that point. I don't. I know they're probably gonna

835
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 1: video out there of me taking my shirt off and

836
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 1: spats it on everybody in there, because there was a

837
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:39,239
Speaker 1: lot of people in there, and I don't care. I

838
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 1: needed my son to be seen and make sure he

839
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:44,239
Speaker 1: was okay, and we just we wanted to have this

840
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 1: podcast to be able to give you some insight into

841
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,520
Speaker 1: what's happening so you don't feel like it just it

842
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 1: was just you. But also who to aske for, Like

843
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 1: our family has been in the healthier his system, so

844
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: knowing to ask for the house supervisor and for patient

845
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 1: experience is something that we know. So we just want

846
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:03,400
Speaker 1: to share this information. If you have an issue at

847
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: the hospital, don't just go home and say, oh, this

848
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 1: happens all the time. It's okay, because it's not okay,

849
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 1: don't act tell security. Security can't report it to anybody.

850
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:14,760
Speaker 1: Can follow report, but that's not going to go anywhere.

851
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,439
Speaker 1: You have to ask for the house SUPERVI and also

852
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 1: the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active labor act Um. It

853
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:25,840
Speaker 1: says that every patient entering the emergency department has the

854
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 1: right to be seen and evaluated if they have an emergency,

855
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 1: so they have to see you. It doesn't matter about insurance,

856
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter about anything. You have to be seen. Additionally,

857
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,919
Speaker 1: insures that physicians cannot ask the patient for any proof

858
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 1: of insurance or form of payment until after they're stabilized

859
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 1: and treated, because they sure us, I'll roll up in

860
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 1: there for a co parent insurance the minute we got

861
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 1: the room. As soon as we got through, and that

862
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 1: was the next person that came in was homegirl with

863
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 1: the car to take the information in the paments, which

864
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 1: is crazy because we had to wait three hours to

865
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 1: be seen. But the minute we got into a room,

866
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:58,240
Speaker 1: they came in and asked for our insurance. Now they

867
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 1: she did go to take the payment and she said, wait,

868
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 1: I can't take the payment because his name was still

869
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 1: read doctor and be seen. But they had all of

870
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,360
Speaker 1: those things in place like it was instantly in the

871
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 1: room banget insurance information. But we come in there to

872
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 1: be treated. I got a wait three hours to be triaged.

873
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 1: That shows you that there's something wrong with the protocol.

874
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 1: Insurance companies are required to cover emergency care regardless of

875
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 1: the diagnosis, and emergency care is covered based on the

876
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:27,800
Speaker 1: person symptoms rather than their final diagnosis, which is important

877
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: because Sakari made this very clear. This is why it's

878
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 1: good to speak to medical professionals. When Cairo reached the

879
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:38,359
Speaker 1: Children's Hospital of Atlanta, his simp his symptoms had subsided

880
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 1: because he was medicated at Emory, not because it went away,

881
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:45,359
Speaker 1: but that he was medicated in emery and they gave

882
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 1: him the medication to ease the pain so that he

883
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 1: could make it to the Children's Hospital of Atlanta. Which

884
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 1: is why I was so adamant about him being triaged,

885
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,919
Speaker 1: because I wanted someone to see him, and I didn't

886
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 1: want to just take him back home and he wake

887
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 1: up in the morning in more pain and it'd be

888
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 1: too late. So they can't look at your child and say, well,

889
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 1: based on the way he looks now, he's not in pain. Yeah,

890
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,279
Speaker 1: because he was medicated right. I think that might have

891
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,000
Speaker 1: also to been what the triagnur saw. She's like, oh, no, fever.

892
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: Oh it's kind of like as she was checking him,

893
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 1: but it's like, but she didn't check him though, she

894
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 1: didn't take all of his vitals. You have to take no,

895
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:23,319
Speaker 1: I meant the nurse when we first got to the room.

896
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:25,279
Speaker 1: When we first got to the room, the nurse came

897
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 1: in was just like, okay, so Fever's down, bloo pressures

898
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 1: down and he was like at this point kind of

899
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 1: like in and out of sleep because he was after

900
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 1: we got in the room, he was still under the tria.

901
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:35,439
Speaker 1: Just the nurse that I have the biggest issue, which

902
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 1: that's the one that said that we we didn't wait

903
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 1: so she didn't want to take his well absolutely, she

904
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 1: didn't take any of his vitals. She did take his

905
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 1: temperature as he sat in the chair, and she got

906
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 1: his weight and then she just dismissed us and said

907
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:47,919
Speaker 1: we had to wait. Right. Hospital way times are based

908
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 1: on several factors, but non urgent needs are not one

909
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,800
Speaker 1: of them. The CDC states that of emergency room victim

910
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 1: sorry visits our medical emergencies. So again understanding to that

911
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,440
Speaker 1: there is a hierarchy, right, someone comes in bleeding profusely,

912
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 1: or you know, someone can't breathe or having a heart attack,

913
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,959
Speaker 1: that kind of pain, chest pain. There are certain things

914
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 1: that take precedence over other things as but in our case,

915
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,280
Speaker 1: because we were transferred from another hospital and clearly everyone

916
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 1: in there in that moment was really just kind of

917
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 1: sitting there, coughing, sneezing, in and out of sleep, we

918
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,440
Speaker 1: felt like that was the ground for us to be

919
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 1: seen in a timely manner to at least rule out

920
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 1: the appendicitis. So yeah, it was important for Deval and I.

921
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: Once everything kind of calmed down, we Cairo was stabilized.

922
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 1: The next day we went out. We were coming back

923
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 1: home and we're passing the children's hospital, so we wanted

924
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:38,720
Speaker 1: to stop in to make sure that we had everything

925
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 1: in place. Because what I'm gonna do is write a letter.

926
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 1: One thing about me. I'm going to write a letter

927
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:44,880
Speaker 1: and we'll be back up there again to see the

928
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 1: house supervisor. And we're going to come back, put our

929
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:52,839
Speaker 1: suits on, nice dress on call our attorney, and we're

930
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 1: gonna go speak to the house supervisor. You want to

931
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:57,840
Speaker 1: play these games, we can play the same game in

932
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 1: the State of Georgia. We'll hear about it. That's one

933
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:02,760
Speaker 1: thing that my mom, being an administrator for over thirty

934
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:05,520
Speaker 1: years in a nursing home facility, one thing they don't

935
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:07,879
Speaker 1: want you to do is called the state. They don't

936
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 1: want you to call this state, and then when the

937
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 1: state has to launch an investigation, then things really get

938
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:15,799
Speaker 1: out of control. And I think Cairo's worth it. I

939
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 1: think every child, every child, regardless of what who, what

940
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:23,880
Speaker 1: they look like, every child is worth it. And it's funny.

941
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: When I was talking to one of my friends who

942
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:28,320
Speaker 1: I usually call whenever I need a prayer moment and stuff, Christina,

943
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 1: she said, after we found out everything's okay, and I

944
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 1: tell her the story, she said, maybe maybe I were

945
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,799
Speaker 1: just meant to go through that to just be the

946
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,879
Speaker 1: voice for people are the voiceless. Maybe we were meant

947
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,200
Speaker 1: to be in that situation to just say something. And

948
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:42,799
Speaker 1: that's why it was important for us to even have

949
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:47,040
Speaker 1: this podcast because she's like, you know, thankfully Kiro is okay.

950
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,240
Speaker 1: Thankfully Cairo is okay. But you know the the initial

951
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:52,359
Speaker 1: emergency room you went to, you had a good experience there, Well, say,

952
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 1: Emory was great, Um, but think about how many children

953
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 1: are dealing with these kind of situations and parents who

954
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: are your straighted, you know, because of this lack of

955
00:46:03,239 --> 00:46:14,359
Speaker 1: empathy and compassion in a children's hospital. Rh Yeah. Yeah,

956
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 1: let's take a break, tak all right, y'all stay with us,

957
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 1: all right, we're back listen to letters. Hopefully this will

958
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 1: give us a little change of pace chow because the

959
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 1: way we only hear sweating and it ain't the lights

960
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 1: just get it every time we tell this story, and

961
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 1: we've told this story several times since it's happened. And

962
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:45,399
Speaker 1: it's okay because I need this to still be fresh

963
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:47,280
Speaker 1: in my mind as I'm in the process of writing

964
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 1: this very detailed letter about what happened. UM, so I

965
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,360
Speaker 1: could just send that out to everyone that needs to

966
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:55,840
Speaker 1: know about it, um at that hospital. But let's change

967
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 1: the pace and um tap into y'all's letters. But yeah,

968
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:02,319
Speaker 1: I've been writing it on Cantina develop herself. I love

969
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 1: y'all and look up to you so much. Thank you. Sis.

970
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 1: I'm a twenty seven year old married woman. I've been

971
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 1: married for two years now. I just needed advice. I'm

972
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:13,799
Speaker 1: not sure what to do in my marriage. I'm the

973
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,759
Speaker 1: main breadwinner. I work three jobs. I take care of

974
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:19,799
Speaker 1: my household and make sure everything is okay. I am

975
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 1: an esthetician just starting her business, and my business is

976
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 1: not starting off the way I wanted to. I don't

977
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 1: have the finances to finance everything I need in my

978
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 1: business because I have to make sure all three kids

979
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 1: have everything they need. Right, and she's married. How do

980
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 1: I not grow resentment towards my husband and continue to

981
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,080
Speaker 1: push forward with my business even when I feel like

982
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:46,040
Speaker 1: I'm in failure and a bad mom, have really bad

983
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,680
Speaker 1: depression and anxiety, and I feel like in this situation

984
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 1: it consumes me even more. But what's he doing? Like

985
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 1: I didn't give me anything? He doesn't have a job.

986
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:58,399
Speaker 1: She says, she's the main breadwinners. She has three jobs. Right,

987
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 1: she has three jobs? Is it that he has one?

988
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: Is he a stay at home dad? Um? I think

989
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:05,359
Speaker 1: if he was a stay at home dad, she would

990
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 1: have said, my husband doesn't work, doesn't work. But I

991
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 1: think she said the main breadwinner, which means he doesn't

992
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:12,799
Speaker 1: make he does make some money. Got you and she

993
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 1: feels like she's pulling the weight of everything. Well, I

994
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:16,759
Speaker 1: already know off the bad just as a woman. Um

995
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:22,959
Speaker 1: that the trying to find the balance between being mom

996
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,359
Speaker 1: having three kids, you know, and then also trying to

997
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:29,520
Speaker 1: balance a job and starting a business like that in itself,

998
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 1: it's a whole lot um and it's hard if you

999
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:36,839
Speaker 1: don't have the support. It's really hard. It's difficult being

1000
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:40,920
Speaker 1: a woman because when you're the main breadwinner, right if

1001
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 1: you're if your dreams and aspirations for yourself are higher

1002
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 1: than your partner. Right, what if he does have a

1003
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 1: good job, but that's just not enough for her. She

1004
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 1: wants more, She's going after more, but she's still also

1005
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 1: a mom and a wife. It's hard to not grow resentment,

1006
00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 1: you know. And you know, when they talk about finding

1007
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 1: someone that's evenly yoked, people think that's all about relation,

1008
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 1: all about religion. It's not all about religion. You have

1009
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 1: to find someone who has the same dreams and aspirations

1010
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:11,359
Speaker 1: as you have, right if you want different things in life.

1011
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 1: What if he's a simple man and he's just like,

1012
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 1: we don't need to have three jobs. We're good with

1013
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 1: we are you known? You can you really fault him

1014
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 1: for for being comfortable where he is? But can you

1015
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:29,120
Speaker 1: fault her for it? Sounds like two people who may

1016
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 1: because She didn't say he was a bad father. She

1017
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:32,680
Speaker 1: didn't say he was a good beat. She didn't say

1018
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 1: he wasn't non existent. It sounds to me like she

1019
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 1: wants to start another business and she wants more support financial.

1020
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 1: It makes sense, Yeah, more supportant. He's just not there

1021
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 1: for yeah, she says, because how do I not go

1022
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,400
Speaker 1: resentment towards my husband? Continue to push forward in her business.

1023
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,360
Speaker 1: So it seems like she's just trying to do more,

1024
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:50,399
Speaker 1: trying to make ends meet. Um, and I mean, let's

1025
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 1: be for real, in this day and age, just because

1026
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 1: you have two people in the household doesn't necessarily mean

1027
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:58,200
Speaker 1: that you're making ends meet with It's difficult, difficult, not absolutely,

1028
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:00,520
Speaker 1: it's difficult. I mean mom and dad of just working

1029
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 1: one job at piece. I don't think I've ever just

1030
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 1: seen that. I know my parents at some point my

1031
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 1: mom was working two jobs. My dad was working two jobs.

1032
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:11,879
Speaker 1: Like it's just it's just a thing that has to happen. Well, finish,

1033
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 1: You're fine, No, I was. Parents worked in healthcare, so

1034
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 1: it's it's a little bit more commonplace for people in

1035
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 1: healthcare to have two jobs because you can have your

1036
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,960
Speaker 1: per deem job, then you also have your hourly job.

1037
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 1: My mom, for example, only worked one jobs. You worked

1038
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 1: for the city, So there are also a lot of

1039
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 1: people who worked there nine to five, and that's what

1040
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:32,440
Speaker 1: they that's my job, you know, having another job to them,

1041
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 1: it's not even possible because I worked for the city.

1042
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 1: I working on the five that have good benefits. Um.

1043
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 1: I think this is a conversation that should have happened

1044
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: earlier about where what they wanted out of life? Right,

1045
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 1: because now now they seven, they have three kids, which

1046
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:51,640
Speaker 1: means they've been together since they were young. Right, So

1047
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 1: let's just say they had three kids, and they had

1048
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:56,399
Speaker 1: their kids back to the children back to back to back.

1049
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 1: That means the children have to be at least a

1050
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:02,279
Speaker 1: year to year and a couple of months apart. So

1051
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:06,759
Speaker 1: I mean she started getting pregnant around three. She didn't

1052
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 1: know who she was. If he's young, he didn't know.

1053
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:13,680
Speaker 1: But now she's reaching closer to thirty, she may say,

1054
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 1: you know what I want more out of life? Well, yeah,

1055
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 1: a lot of ship happens. So sometimes when you have

1056
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:19,440
Speaker 1: children too, like you ever hear people say like my

1057
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 1: children are having children ignited like this driving me, But

1058
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:24,160
Speaker 1: I just want to do more for them, and I

1059
00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 1: want to give them more opportunities. And sometimes that happens

1060
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 1: to people. And and like you said, her husband may

1061
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 1: be like, well, we're good, you know, right so, And

1062
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:35,920
Speaker 1: I think that's the conversation that continuously has to happen

1063
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:39,440
Speaker 1: throughout the marriage. Right when your your your dreams change,

1064
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 1: your goals change, you don't have to just sit in

1065
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 1: and be like, Dame, my goals change. I'm gonna do

1066
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:44,880
Speaker 1: it on my own. Continue to speak to your partner

1067
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:47,399
Speaker 1: about it. Codeina and I have often gone through these

1068
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:51,360
Speaker 1: modes where between the two of us, I'm the constant dreamer,

1069
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 1: right um. I always called Codeine the Amex killer. That's

1070
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:57,960
Speaker 1: that's her nick. And everybody knows that I make so

1071
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,879
Speaker 1: much jokes about how much money could Dean Spence. Let

1072
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:03,520
Speaker 1: me tell you something. If I didn't make a lot

1073
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:05,359
Speaker 1: of money, Inde Maker didn't make a lot of money

1074
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,000
Speaker 1: and we lived in the apartment, you know what, code

1075
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 1: would be fine, because she was fine when we moved

1076
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 1: back to the apartment. She never complained. Some people are

1077
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 1: just happy in their space, in their moment with that

1078
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 1: person they loved, and that could be him the same

1079
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 1: way it was Codeine. I always wanted more and then

1080
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 1: wanting more. Sometimes Codina and I used to have this argument.

1081
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 1: I just like, I'm the only one pushing. I'm the

1082
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 1: only one going. I'm the only one going. I remember

1083
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:29,759
Speaker 1: one time Kay said something to me that kind of

1084
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 1: shocked me, but it made me realize that she was right.

1085
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:34,799
Speaker 1: Remember when we were having an argument and I said,

1086
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:36,879
Speaker 1: I brought you this ring, I brought you this house

1087
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:38,319
Speaker 1: to do this, and those alders and stuff, and you

1088
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 1: said that I asked for none of this ship right,

1089
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 1: it was the house of Michigan. Like, I bought this

1090
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:46,400
Speaker 1: house in Michigan for us. That could be our starter

1091
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 1: hole and we could have a life in Michigan. I'm like,

1092
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 1: I never said in Michigan in order to ask for

1093
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:52,239
Speaker 1: a house. I thought this was just a text rite

1094
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:55,640
Speaker 1: off situation. And I was like, I was like, yeah,

1095
00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 1: but I still bought it. But I had to realize that, dang.

1096
00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 1: I never even had the conversation with my wife about

1097
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 1: what she wanted out of life and told her what

1098
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 1: I wanted to see if we were on the same page.

1099
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:11,840
Speaker 1: As I continue to express to k over time and overtime,

1100
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:13,640
Speaker 1: what I wanted for my life and what I wanted

1101
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:18,239
Speaker 1: for us. She then was like okay. She literally said

1102
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 1: about you could be the richest man in the world,

1103
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 1: and you know what you're gonna want to do? Get more.

1104
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:25,879
Speaker 1: She was just like that. I mean, not for nothing.

1105
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:28,040
Speaker 1: I was appreciative in the moment. I was just like, great,

1106
00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:29,680
Speaker 1: Like I love this house. Like, oh, you know, we

1107
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 1: were we were technically, I guess, playing house because we

1108
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:34,319
Speaker 1: weren't quite engage your marriage yet, so you know, we

1109
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:35,759
Speaker 1: were shacking up, but we were shacking up in a

1110
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:39,879
Speaker 1: cute little house. Yeah, yeah, you know. So um, because

1111
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't want to make it ever seem

1112
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 1: like I was ungrateful for the things that she were

1113
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:45,680
Speaker 1: provided for me. But you did have your own vision

1114
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:48,040
Speaker 1: of what you wanted to have for your future wife

1115
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:51,879
Speaker 1: and future family. And it sounds to me like she

1116
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:56,320
Speaker 1: has her own vision working three jobs and she's starting

1117
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,359
Speaker 1: a business, and it sounds to me like she's an

1118
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:01,520
Speaker 1: entrepreneur and she's looking for more purpose and she wants

1119
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 1: more things. And her husband's probably like, we're good, We're good.

1120
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 1: And I could also see if you don't have a

1121
00:54:06,719 --> 00:54:09,520
Speaker 1: conversation and you start a business, right, just this doesn't

1122
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:10,880
Speaker 1: have to be a woman or a man, but this

1123
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 1: is a spouse. We don't have a conversation about starting businesses.

1124
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:18,680
Speaker 1: And I just started another business, and now I started

1125
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 1: this business and I don't have the finances to see

1126
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:22,920
Speaker 1: the business through because anytime you start a business, it

1127
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:24,919
Speaker 1: takes three years for that business to make it into

1128
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:27,480
Speaker 1: the black. Typically you'll spend the first three years just

1129
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:30,600
Speaker 1: investing in the business. So now you're putting all your

1130
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 1: money into the business. You looking at your partner like,

1131
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 1: why ain't you help me? Your partner can look at

1132
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,560
Speaker 1: you and be like, I ain't start this business. You know,

1133
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:39,879
Speaker 1: I'm trying to make sure that everything we have now

1134
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,160
Speaker 1: is on point, and you want to spend more money

1135
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:45,880
Speaker 1: starting another business. The resentment can go both ways. That's true.

1136
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:49,360
Speaker 1: That's why the conversation needs to happen. It's it's interesting

1137
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:51,279
Speaker 1: that you said that because it made me also think

1138
00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:53,319
Speaker 1: of another situation with another couple that I know where

1139
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 1: it was like, you know, the woman was like the

1140
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:57,640
Speaker 1: business mindset. She's like, Okay, great, I'm just gonna do

1141
00:54:57,719 --> 00:54:59,880
Speaker 1: this and this is my new business venture. And it's like,

1142
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 1: you know, her husband just had to be along with it,

1143
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 1: like it just had to go along with the flow,

1144
00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 1: and he was kind of like, I know that you're

1145
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:07,799
Speaker 1: not even equipped to be able to do this. Why

1146
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 1: are you starting this business when you know you're not

1147
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:12,440
Speaker 1: you know, you don't have the time for it, or

1148
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:14,440
Speaker 1: you're already stressed out. So he might be saying to

1149
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:16,720
Speaker 1: her sister like, I know you want to start this business,

1150
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:19,200
Speaker 1: but can you can you realistically give it a ten

1151
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 1: percent right now in this moment? So he might be

1152
00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:23,040
Speaker 1: hands off and be like, yo, you're about to dig

1153
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:24,520
Speaker 1: this whole. I'm gonna let you dig it by yourself,

1154
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:26,439
Speaker 1: you know. So there are a lot of different ways

1155
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 1: that this can go. I wish I had his perspective

1156
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:31,000
Speaker 1: as well to to kind of give a better, um,

1157
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 1: you know, advice to you. But she did ask how

1158
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:36,880
Speaker 1: do I push forward and not grow resentment? You know

1159
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:39,840
Speaker 1: how you don't grow resentment towards people? Have conversations. To

1160
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:44,200
Speaker 1: conversations bring forth clarity. You don't have resentment when you know.

1161
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:48,319
Speaker 1: Resentment comes from not knowing why didn't wonder why why

1162
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:51,480
Speaker 1: didn't this person support me? But well, when you get clarity,

1163
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:53,880
Speaker 1: now you have clarity and you know, and at that

1164
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:55,640
Speaker 1: point you can make a decision, and if you make

1165
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 1: a decision to stay, even though the person is clear

1166
00:55:58,080 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 1: as to why they don't want to support, you can't

1167
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:02,760
Speaker 1: have resentment towards that person. Need to resentment towards yourself

1168
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 1: because you've made the decision to stay. Have conversations consistently,

1169
00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:10,400
Speaker 1: and stop thinking that you're ever going to reach a

1170
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:13,319
Speaker 1: point in your marriage when you're not going to have conversations.

1171
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:16,280
Speaker 1: If there's anything Cadine and I can tell you about marriage,

1172
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:18,799
Speaker 1: part of the reason why we have dead As podcasts

1173
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:23,920
Speaker 1: is that the marriage isn't never ending conversation. That's what

1174
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:26,120
Speaker 1: it is. Because as you evolve and he evolved in

1175
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:29,640
Speaker 1: Young Lady or twenty seven, when you're thirty five, your

1176
00:56:29,640 --> 00:56:31,719
Speaker 1: minds is going to be completely different than you were

1177
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 1: when you were twenty seven. As your kids grow, your

1178
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 1: mindset are gonna is gonna change. So continue to have

1179
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:40,200
Speaker 1: the conversations and speak to each other. Just continue to

1180
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:43,120
Speaker 1: talk and be honest and upfront in real time. Good

1181
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:48,960
Speaker 1: lexes number two Dear de valin Codeine, I hope you

1182
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 1: all see this and respond because your girl needs some help.

1183
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:54,560
Speaker 1: I'm married to my high school sweetheart of fifteen years.

1184
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:57,400
Speaker 1: Congratulations been married for a year and a half, but

1185
00:56:57,560 --> 00:56:59,880
Speaker 1: we've hit a cross roads for years. He has a

1186
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 1: rusted to me that he is interested in being with

1187
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 1: other women for experiences, and has suggested three sums or

1188
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:08,440
Speaker 1: bringing and bringing in a girlfriend. I'm not against it,

1189
00:57:08,719 --> 00:57:11,839
Speaker 1: but I get mad jealous From New York. I get

1190
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 1: mad jealous when he attempts to go and do things

1191
00:57:14,719 --> 00:57:17,080
Speaker 1: we have talked about. We are grown now thirty one

1192
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:19,280
Speaker 1: with two kids, and there are some things I would

1193
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:21,640
Speaker 1: like to experience as well as I've only been with

1194
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 1: my husband, But I don't want to disgrace our marriage.

1195
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 1: We have been discussing separation, but we have both but

1196
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:30,400
Speaker 1: we both feel that we just need to continue to

1197
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:32,600
Speaker 1: be open and honest with each other right and that

1198
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:34,960
Speaker 1: we can overcome whatever. At times, I feel like I

1199
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 1: would just let him roam and be free and happy

1200
00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 1: because I love him that much. Do you think there's

1201
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 1: a way to keep our relationship happy and successful as

1202
00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:45,800
Speaker 1: long as we are truthful or are we headed down

1203
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:49,880
Speaker 1: a bad road? Signed the laws? Sweetheart? This is what

1204
00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:52,920
Speaker 1: I feel. One thing that we've been there before, definitely,

1205
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:56,280
Speaker 1: there's this is one thing that I think triggered me

1206
00:57:56,360 --> 00:58:01,160
Speaker 1: to realize what's going wrong right? She says, I don't

1207
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:04,040
Speaker 1: mind trying these experiences, and I have experiences. I want

1208
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:06,000
Speaker 1: to try my own, but I don't want to disgrace

1209
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 1: our marriage, which means she's thinking about who other people.

1210
00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:13,560
Speaker 1: That's the problem with both her and her husband may

1211
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:16,000
Speaker 1: be thinking about other people when deciding what to do

1212
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 1: within their marriage, and that's a recipe for disaster. You

1213
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,360
Speaker 1: guys have to come to terms of what you need

1214
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:24,960
Speaker 1: and what you want, and you have to walk that

1215
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 1: walk together period. What other people may think or believe

1216
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:35,400
Speaker 1: about your marriage does not matter. It doesn't I'm not

1217
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 1: gonna sit here and say because we're not gonna judge

1218
00:58:37,240 --> 00:58:39,240
Speaker 1: what you'all trying to do neither. Because we've been in

1219
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:41,320
Speaker 1: situations like this, we're just like, damn, like I think

1220
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:42,880
Speaker 1: I want more, Like we've been together since we were

1221
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,959
Speaker 1: eighteen years old, Like I haven't had experiences. He hasn't

1222
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 1: had experienced it, So I get it. But it's like,

1223
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:50,960
Speaker 1: who you advertising this too? For them to even feel like, damn,

1224
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:54,440
Speaker 1: this is a disgraceful marriage on y'all have to agree

1225
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 1: on this, and the truth of the matter is having

1226
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,120
Speaker 1: those open conversations with each other may allow y'all to

1227
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 1: create a safe space to find out how to try

1228
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 1: things together without including other people. That's what Cadine and

1229
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 1: I did. After a while, after while, after while, you like, well,

1230
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:13,000
Speaker 1: I want to try this, I want to try that.

1231
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:16,120
Speaker 1: How can I do this without my wife knowing? Because

1232
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 1: I don't want her to feel bad? Well, she may say,

1233
00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:20,080
Speaker 1: You may say, how can I do this without telling

1234
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:21,840
Speaker 1: my husband? Because I don't want him to feel bad.

1235
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:24,360
Speaker 1: When if y'all speak together, you can say, all right,

1236
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:26,720
Speaker 1: well you like this and I like that, Well why

1237
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 1: don't we try using this? Why don't we try doing that?

1238
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 1: And then you find ways to have those experiences without

1239
00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 1: really having those experiences, and it gets to be kind

1240
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:39,680
Speaker 1: of fun. Like they recently had a conversation about just

1241
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:42,480
Speaker 1: like sexual fantasies and things that we might have tried,

1242
00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:44,320
Speaker 1: you know, either when we were younger, things that we

1243
00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:46,440
Speaker 1: want to try now, or like different things that we've

1244
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:48,360
Speaker 1: seen in like the Latest Point episode that were like

1245
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:51,040
Speaker 1: oh ship, like you know, um, And we found ways

1246
00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:52,800
Speaker 1: of like how can we be creative and kind of

1247
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:56,080
Speaker 1: invent those those experiences for each other? And we found

1248
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:58,720
Speaker 1: some ways and I'm just okay, this is different, but

1249
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:05,360
Speaker 1: it's it's been fun trying to figure things out on

1250
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:10,400
Speaker 1: the road to shooting blanks. So it's about to be

1251
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:12,720
Speaker 1: on the poppy, y'all. So yeah, I hope y'all listen

1252
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 1: to the podcast about the vasectomy. So ya, we we

1253
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:18,920
Speaker 1: talked a lot about sex in that episode. So just

1254
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:21,400
Speaker 1: take some of the cues from that episode and apply

1255
01:00:21,560 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 1: it here, because listen to me, man, when you can

1256
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:28,960
Speaker 1: get on the same sexual path as your partner, nobody

1257
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:32,480
Speaker 1: else's ideas matter now, Codeina and I and I need

1258
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:35,520
Speaker 1: to say this because people really don't know. We don't

1259
01:00:35,520 --> 01:00:38,960
Speaker 1: believe in an open marriage. For us, we believe in monogamy.

1260
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:43,520
Speaker 1: We believe in monogamy, so you can still be with

1261
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:46,080
Speaker 1: somebody you've been with since you're a teenager and still

1262
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:49,920
Speaker 1: enjoy a healthy sex life with that person without including

1263
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:53,960
Speaker 1: other people. But for those who do believe in an

1264
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:58,560
Speaker 1: open marriage or polygamy, if it works for you, it

1265
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:01,840
Speaker 1: works for you. Like out, y'all, stop saying other people

1266
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:04,360
Speaker 1: we're worried about disgracing our marriage to other that ship

1267
01:01:04,520 --> 01:01:06,760
Speaker 1: don't matter. None of them people you're worried about is

1268
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:09,760
Speaker 1: ever gonna step in and just be like you know what,

1269
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:11,880
Speaker 1: y'all having issues. You know what I'm saying, I'm gonna

1270
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:13,760
Speaker 1: take care of these bills for y'all. I'm gonna take

1271
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:18,120
Speaker 1: care of your kids. You know what. I'm going ahead like,

1272
01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 1: there ain't nobody gonna step in and say that. You

1273
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:22,640
Speaker 1: know what, I'm gonna find a way to make you happy. Yeah.

1274
01:01:23,040 --> 01:01:25,920
Speaker 1: All they're gonna do is talk anyway, period. So speak

1275
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 1: to each other, find out what's good for each other,

1276
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:29,520
Speaker 1: and stop thinking about other people. The only way you

1277
01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:32,080
Speaker 1: can disgrace your marriage is if you're dishonest with each other.

1278
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:34,440
Speaker 1: That's the only way you can really disgrace your marriage.

1279
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:38,360
Speaker 1: Keep having those open on his healthy conversations, like you said,

1280
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:40,480
Speaker 1: and you're asking your question here, do you think there's

1281
01:01:40,480 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 1: a way to keep our relationship happy and successful as

1282
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:47,320
Speaker 1: long as we're always truthful? Yes? Yes, yes, And the

1283
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 1: conversations are gonna be tough at times, is but they're

1284
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,160
Speaker 1: worth it. Now. And here's the thing, because this this

1285
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:54,520
Speaker 1: last question, or are we headed down a bad road?

1286
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:57,040
Speaker 1: People always ask about their headed down the bad road

1287
01:01:57,120 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 1: when it comes time to including other people. We do

1288
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:03,200
Speaker 1: know some couples who have successfully added other people to

1289
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:06,760
Speaker 1: their relationship. And they live a happy, happy marriage. And

1290
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:09,360
Speaker 1: we know some people who try to remain monogamous and

1291
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:12,440
Speaker 1: a fucking miserable and their kids are miserable, and their

1292
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:16,400
Speaker 1: in laws are miserable because everybody's miserable because they're they're

1293
01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:19,160
Speaker 1: trying to live the way everybody wants them to live

1294
01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:21,160
Speaker 1: and that's not working. But then we do have other

1295
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:22,800
Speaker 1: couples they're like, yeah, we do this, we do that,

1296
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:24,760
Speaker 1: we we go to these parties, we do this, and

1297
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I don't know how, because I can't

1298
01:02:27,680 --> 01:02:30,920
Speaker 1: do it. But they are happy, and they have kids,

1299
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:35,520
Speaker 1: and they're they're very successful. They're successful financially, and they

1300
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:39,080
Speaker 1: haven't had any issues where some of the monogamous couples

1301
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 1: we know, I found out later on that, oh I

1302
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:44,760
Speaker 1: thought I was monogamous, but I wasn't. You know what

1303
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 1: I'm saying, And you know what I'm talking about people

1304
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:50,200
Speaker 1: walking around claiming that monogamy is the best and thinking that,

1305
01:02:50,240 --> 01:02:52,640
Speaker 1: you know, I'm in a monogamous relationship, not knowing that yeah,

1306
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:55,600
Speaker 1: you maybe, but your partner may not be because y'all

1307
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:58,120
Speaker 1: just trying to hold up appearances for other people. You

1308
01:02:58,160 --> 01:02:59,800
Speaker 1: can't do that with your marriage. You have to do

1309
01:02:59,840 --> 01:03:02,920
Speaker 1: was right for you. Do this right for you. As

1310
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:07,800
Speaker 1: far as the elysis, we love monogamy. So whatever you decide,

1311
01:03:07,920 --> 01:03:11,520
Speaker 1: make sure you love what you decide a little truthfully.

1312
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:12,880
Speaker 1: And it may take a little bit to get there,

1313
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:15,520
Speaker 1: but you'll get there all right, y'all. If you want

1314
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:17,400
Speaker 1: to be featured as one of our listener letters, be

1315
01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:20,440
Speaker 1: sure to email us at dead as Advice at gmail

1316
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:23,160
Speaker 1: dot com. That's d E A d A as as

1317
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:26,880
Speaker 1: A d V I C E at gmail dot com.

1318
01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:31,280
Speaker 1: Al Right, moment of truth time, John U up in

1319
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:35,320
Speaker 1: this bitch I literally thought about that movie in the

1320
01:03:35,360 --> 01:03:37,320
Speaker 1: car too. I was like that I would literally come

1321
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:42,120
Speaker 1: in here and like at this whole place under manners

1322
01:03:42,280 --> 01:03:44,800
Speaker 1: quick and I wouldn't care about any of the questions

1323
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:47,920
Speaker 1: anything to protect my my family a matter of fact,

1324
01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:51,360
Speaker 1: that's my my moment of truth. A moment of truth

1325
01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:56,120
Speaker 1: is that you, as a man, have a responsibility to

1326
01:03:56,280 --> 01:04:00,000
Speaker 1: protect your family by any means necessary, and anybody who's

1327
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:01,840
Speaker 1: gonna step in the way of that, I'm gonna have

1328
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,520
Speaker 1: to deal with the rath. That's just my moment of truth.

1329
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:08,240
Speaker 1: Make sure that you advocate for your children and your wife.

1330
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:12,560
Speaker 1: Um as intelligently as possible, because even once they feel

1331
01:04:12,560 --> 01:04:15,160
Speaker 1: the wrath, you have to eloquently articulate why you gave

1332
01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:17,480
Speaker 1: somebody the wrath. So don't just be out here just

1333
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:19,920
Speaker 1: trying to gun, bust and throw hands doing some other stuff.

1334
01:04:20,080 --> 01:04:22,840
Speaker 1: Be able to articulate your perspective so that people can

1335
01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:25,280
Speaker 1: understand where you're coming from. That's the only way you

1336
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:28,680
Speaker 1: can get empathy and compassion. Additionally, if you work in

1337
01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:32,600
Speaker 1: if you work as a first responder or anyone dealing

1338
01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:35,480
Speaker 1: with people that they're worse and a heightened sense of urgency,

1339
01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:38,840
Speaker 1: please take that job seriously, but take it with empathy

1340
01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:42,600
Speaker 1: and compassion, because that's what we all require as people. Absolutely.

1341
01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:45,600
Speaker 1: I think my moment of truth is having experienced all

1342
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:48,880
Speaker 1: of this, doing a little bit of research sometimes and

1343
01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:52,480
Speaker 1: knowing ahead of time, even before an emergency situation, know

1344
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:57,280
Speaker 1: the protocols with hospital no the hierarchy of who needs

1345
01:04:57,320 --> 01:05:01,280
Speaker 1: to be contacted if something does go awry. Um, we've

1346
01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:03,720
Speaker 1: talked a lot about that, even just on our pregnancy episodes.

1347
01:05:03,760 --> 01:05:06,040
Speaker 1: Like you know, being an advocate and doing your research

1348
01:05:06,080 --> 01:05:09,200
Speaker 1: and knowing the resources. The same thing applies in a

1349
01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:12,000
Speaker 1: children's hospital. The same thing applies in a regular emergency

1350
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:16,240
Speaker 1: room where they're adults. Just knowing who can potentially be

1351
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:20,040
Speaker 1: your advocate in those moments at the hospital, Knowing who

1352
01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:22,800
Speaker 1: you can make a complaint to UM. No if it's

1353
01:05:22,800 --> 01:05:25,440
Speaker 1: going to be falling on deaf ears, making sure that

1354
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:29,720
Speaker 1: you're documenting times, names, first and last names of people

1355
01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:32,720
Speaker 1: who you are having these interactions with UM. Because if

1356
01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:34,560
Speaker 1: it does come to a situation like ours, where we

1357
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:37,360
Speaker 1: are planning to and are in the process of taking

1358
01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:40,080
Speaker 1: it up into higher levels, you want to, like the

1359
01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:45,640
Speaker 1: vow said articulately, articulately explain verbally but also on paper

1360
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:49,000
Speaker 1: what your experience looked like, and knowing who to send

1361
01:05:49,040 --> 01:05:52,880
Speaker 1: these complaints too, so something can be done and don't

1362
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:55,720
Speaker 1: feel like the systems ever too big. All complaints don't

1363
01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:58,120
Speaker 1: fall on deaf ears. So if you're at home feeling

1364
01:05:58,160 --> 01:06:00,720
Speaker 1: like something happened to you and take my mom, gonna

1365
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:03,720
Speaker 1: say nothing because no one's gonna care. That's not true.

1366
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:08,760
Speaker 1: People care. Yeah, shout out one more time to the

1367
01:06:08,760 --> 01:06:12,600
Speaker 1: security team over it the Children's Healthcare Center of Atlantigency.

1368
01:06:12,920 --> 01:06:15,040
Speaker 1: They were great. All right, y'all be sure to follow

1369
01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:17,880
Speaker 1: us on social media dead ask the podcast we have

1370
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:20,320
Speaker 1: our own page, which is growing beautifully. Thank you all

1371
01:06:20,360 --> 01:06:23,200
Speaker 1: so much. I wasn't sure how much people would tune

1372
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:25,120
Speaker 1: into the actual podcast page, but I love to see

1373
01:06:25,160 --> 01:06:27,840
Speaker 1: y'all there, and of course tune into Cadeine I Am

1374
01:06:27,880 --> 01:06:30,320
Speaker 1: and I Am Devout, And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,

1375
01:06:30,320 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review, and subscribe. Dead as dead

1376
01:06:36,280 --> 01:06:39,040
Speaker 1: Ass is a production of I Heart Media podcast Network

1377
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:42,720
Speaker 1: and is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple Follow the podcast

1378
01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:45,400
Speaker 1: on social media at dead as the Podcast and never

1379
01:06:45,480 --> 01:06:45,960
Speaker 1: miss a Thing