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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's been working on a new

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Speaker 1: food mashup with Baskin Robins and star kissed seafood called

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Speaker 1: the Tuna Milkshake. No jazz, you want that one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent natural sea cream flavor built down a refreshing tuna milkshake.

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Speaker 1: Today with laser stories, the segmentary read weird news stories

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Speaker 1: around the globe, just like everyone else says, except we've

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Speaker 1: got a laser. Those other swim shamers just don't you can.

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Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of Europe. Many countries

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Speaker 1: now have bullet trains, and the other day one was

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Speaker 1: zipping through Germany and had a scheduled stop halfway between

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Speaker 1: Munich and Nuremberg.

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Speaker 2: God, I'm so jealous of countries that have those fast trains.

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Speaker 1: Well, we have the bullets here, it's not so much trains.

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Speaker 1: During that time, a forty year old Hungarian man named

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Speaker 1: Laslo Kovac step off the train to smoke a cigarette. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and didn't get back on before they closed the doors.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh dang, yeah, be careful.

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Speaker 1: He saw it leaving, so he jumped onto a bracket

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Speaker 1: connecting two of the train cars and held on for

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Speaker 1: dear life as it hit one hundred and seventy five

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Speaker 1: miles an hour.

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Speaker 2: No, and like you said, it's a bullet train, it's

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Speaker 2: all a regular train.

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Speaker 1: These are super fah.

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Speaker 2: Just wait till the next train and catch up with

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Speaker 2: the als.

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Speaker 1: Thankfully, after twenty miles somebody saw.

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Speaker 2: Him, which is actually five seconds.

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Speaker 1: And officials stopped the train and he was saved. I'm

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Speaker 1: imagine like Spider Man when he's in front of the

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Speaker 1: train in that.

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Speaker 2: One movie, he better have left like a really important

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Speaker 2: bag or something on that train.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and when authority showed up, Laslow said he did

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Speaker 1: it because his luggage was on board and he didn't

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Speaker 1: want to be separated from it. So he's now facing

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Speaker 1: charges for an act disruptive to operations and shocker cups

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Speaker 1: also found he never actually bought a ticket, so he

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Speaker 1: boarded illegally as well, which is something that they tacked

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Speaker 1: on that infraction to it too.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it'll finally real Maybe he'll finally realize he should

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Speaker 2: give up smoking. Yeah, I'd done that.

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Speaker 1: Pickle his next Laser stories Out of Japan An aquarium

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Speaker 1: closed for renovation last month, around the same time their

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Speaker 1: giant sunfish had become unwell. Oh no, when the nine

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Speaker 1: foot long fish refused to eat and would rub its

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Speaker 1: belly up against the glass.

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Speaker 2: Oh money.

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Speaker 1: Marine biologists were doing everything they could to try and

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Speaker 1: fix what they thought was a digestive problem. That is

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Speaker 1: until one staff member suggested, maybe it's just lonely because

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Speaker 1: it misses the visitors.

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Speaker 2: That would be the it would be. It'd be like

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Speaker 2: a finding Nemo character.

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Speaker 1: The scientists thought there was a ninety nine chance that

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Speaker 1: was not the case, but they would test the theory

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Speaker 1: just to see. Okay, And they printed and they printed

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Speaker 1: out life size pictures of people and tape them up

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Speaker 1: against the tank windows.

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Speaker 2: Oh right, it gets closed to visitors.

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Speaker 1: And by the next day the sunfish was totally happy again.

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Speaker 2: He just wants attention fresh.

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Speaker 1: It turns out the one staffer was right. The giant

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Speaker 1: sunfish was just lonely. And aquarium workers have been changing

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Speaker 1: out the people's photos daily and taking turns going to

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Speaker 1: hang out with the sunfish. They spend at least a

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Speaker 1: couple hours each day waving and smiling. Time totally well spent?

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Speaker 2: Is it sunfish the laboratory retriever of the seas.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this isn't the first time an aquariums had to

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Speaker 1: cheer up lonely fish either. During the twenty twenty COVID lockdown,

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Speaker 1: Tokyo's Sumita Aquarium asked for volunteers to face time with

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Speaker 1: its three hundred spotted garden eles, who had become shy

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Speaker 1: without people around, making it hard for the staff to

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Speaker 1: check up on their eels.

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Speaker 2: I'm o, they're shy, eel shy ye on.

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Speaker 1: This next laser stories out of the pharmacy files. Walgreens

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Speaker 1: just came to a big realization. When you lock stuff

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Speaker 1: up in a store, you don't sell as many of

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Speaker 1: them who chef what is done? Yeah, I know it's

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Speaker 1: a great, big dud any customer ever. But Walgreens is

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Speaker 1: the first to admit that locking their cases to deter

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Speaker 1: theft actually cost the company a lot more money than

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Speaker 1: they would have ever lost in shoplifting.

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Speaker 2: They I hate pushing that button just to get like

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Speaker 2: my kids vitamins, yeah, you know, at Target or whatever.

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Speaker 2: And then and then they take twenty minutes and I

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Speaker 2: finally just give up. I'm like, well, vitamin deficient kids.

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Speaker 2: It is.

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Speaker 1: The company reported a net loss of two hundred and

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Speaker 1: forty five million dollars last year, compared to just thirty

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Speaker 1: nine million a year earlier.

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Speaker 2: Oh my, that math is not good for them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, the problem the theft hasn't gone away. It's

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Speaker 1: a lot smaller compared to them not being able to

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Speaker 1: sell anything behind locked cases. Yeah. Okay, dude, I saw

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Speaker 1: you can't buy laundry to tourney.

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Speaker 2: No, you can't buy any Look like a crackhead trying

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Speaker 2: to buy them.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, give me the big thing of tide pods.

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Speaker 2: It does make you feel sketchy. Yeah, like, I swear

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Speaker 2: this is for laundry.

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Speaker 1: The company's looking at more creative solutions after the numbers

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Speaker 1: came out, possibly making decoy products or equipping their carts

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Speaker 1: with alarms if you try to leave their store with

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Speaker 1: an unscanned item.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, I mean that's better than the glass cases,

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Speaker 2: I guess, yeah, or plastic cases.

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Speaker 1: They aren't exactly sure yet. Until then, they plan on

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Speaker 1: closing about twelve hundred stores over the next three years

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Speaker 1: Nikes open. How many stores do they have?

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Speaker 2: Cheese?

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Speaker 1: This next Lazer stories out of the Kale connection. Here's

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Speaker 1: a snack hack for people with young children. A new

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Speaker 1: study found they'll eat more vegetables if they think it

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Speaker 1: gives them superpowers. I love spinach because when I was

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Speaker 1: a kid, my parents would be like feelike Popeye, Yeah, spinach,

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Speaker 1: get big musclesp researchers spent twenty minutes reading kids fairy

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Speaker 1: tales that involved magical fruits and vegetablesh and the hero

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Speaker 1: in the story was either healed or saved by eating them. Wow.

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Speaker 1: And after the story was done, they offered the kids

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Speaker 1: a choice of four different snacks, fruit, vegetables, cake, or cookies.

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Speaker 1: They go cook. Well. Turned out the story made them

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Speaker 1: more likely to choose the healthier food options and leave

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Speaker 1: the cake behind.

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Speaker 2: Okay, would that work on me? Because I would like

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Speaker 2: to choose kill cookies.

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Speaker 1: And I don't never well. Plus, the veggie superhero study

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Speaker 1: had a lasting effect on it. Eighty percent of those

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Speaker 1: kids were still eating more greens even weeks later.

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Speaker 2: Wow, it cool. I like this.

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Speaker 1: It just goes to show that everybody should be thinking

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Speaker 1: about going more green. Like this guy.

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Speaker 2: Oh, he's very green.

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Speaker 1: He would love to be in his own superhero book someday,

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Speaker 1: maybe even as a villain Spider Man versus the Green Gobbler.

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Speaker 1: The could happen, And that how means laser stories has

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Speaker 1: come to an end. For the day. We'll do it again,

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Speaker 1: same time on Friday,