1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:12,239 Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in 2 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers 3 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,959 Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you 4 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands 5 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the 6 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals 7 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments 8 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored Alchemedo cheriots to keep 9 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood. Be wise, be smart, being black, 10 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of 11 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife, 12 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:00,080 Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the an this 13 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: is And the ancestors told me that you would come 14 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:08,679 Speaker 1: to give wisdom thousands. They said you would come Dropping 15 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: Dropping gim Welcome to the Dropping Gym's podcast. I am 16 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: your host, DeBie Brown. Big thank you for spending time 17 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 1: with me. Every time I get to do this show 18 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,760 Speaker 1: and spend time with you, I feel so grateful to 19 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: have a space to have conversations like this. You know, 20 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: Dropping Gems is all about self discovery, self investigation, observing 21 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: yourself without judgment, falling in love and indeed acceptance with yourself, 22 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: and getting some rituals and tools for the journey. So 23 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 1: it's my favor. Thanks for joining you know when we 24 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: were younger, especially if you are somewhere around my age. 25 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: I'm a millennial, probably older into the millennial spectrum, um, 26 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 1: but I'm somebody that remembers the past and the future, right, 27 00:01:55,520 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: So like print media really really really important to my childhood. 28 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: Music so important to my childhood. Technology not so much. 29 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: But now we can do both, um, But I used 30 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 1: to really when I was younger, falls so deeply in 31 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:15,279 Speaker 1: love with going to the bookstore, grabbing a stack of magazines, 32 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: sitting down and daydreaming and getting schooled on so many things, 33 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 1: you know, really being able to see a bigger picture 34 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 1: of what the world looked like. And my magazine stack 35 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 1: was always very predictable. There was always a copy of 36 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 1: a lore in it because at that time, especially I 37 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 1: was a product budding product order couldn't really get products, 38 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: but I daydreamed about them and what they could do 39 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: and vibe in the source were big parts of my childhood. Uh. 40 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:49,359 Speaker 1: Usually because of Tupac, I was searching for him in 41 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 1: all the pages. Uh. And then a magazine that was 42 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 1: always at the top of my stack was Essence Magazine. 43 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: I remember opening that magazine. Originally my Auntie would always 44 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 1: have copies and then I would speak it out for myself. 45 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: And I remember opening an Essence magazine and it really 46 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 1: giving me a deeper understanding of the kind of womanhood 47 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: I wanted to connect to, you know, being able to 48 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,120 Speaker 1: see not just the women in the pages that were 49 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 1: sometimes the beautiful models, but the cover stories and the 50 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: writers of Essence, you know, the incredible women that were 51 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:32,079 Speaker 1: behind the magazine. I was always so deeply inspired by 52 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: the way that they took up space and spoke the truth, 53 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: and then also by all the gorgeous photos in the magazine. 54 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: You know, it really spoke to an elegance that I 55 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 1: didn't always get to see up close, the poise that 56 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: I didn't always have access to, and also amazing products 57 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: and recommendations and interviews. And it was a magazine that 58 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: really lit a spark inside of me. And so when 59 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: I think about our guest today, I'm really excited to 60 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 1: share with you. Her name is Charlie Pin, and I'm 61 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 1: sure so many of You guys are already connected to 62 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: her beautiful work that she does not only within Essence 63 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,640 Speaker 1: Magazine but also as the host of the two time 64 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 1: Webbing nominated Yes Girl podcast, a staple on Instagram. Love 65 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:21,839 Speaker 1: her page, but I love Charlie's spirit of exploration. You know. 66 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: One of the things that she does so beautifully is 67 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:29,040 Speaker 1: really share so many wellness and mindfulness tools and products 68 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:32,279 Speaker 1: through Essence, not just digitally but also in print and 69 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: at all the events that they do. And it gives 70 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: women an opportunity to connect with what I connected with 71 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 1: when I was younger, this expansion, this ability to daydream 72 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: about a higher version of yourself what that would look 73 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 1: or feel like. So today's show, we are going to 74 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: be diving into how does one even connect with all 75 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 1: these things and predict trends in this way and know 76 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,839 Speaker 1: how to show up powerfully for the community of women 77 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,360 Speaker 1: that follow. So on today's show, we're gonna be talking 78 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: with journalist, editor, and writer Charlie Penn. She's the Lifestyle 79 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: Director at Essence Magazine. She oversees the brand's vision for 80 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: the vertical across all platforms. She's also the publication's resident 81 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 1: love and wellness guru. And she has never one to 82 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:21,160 Speaker 1: wear just one cute hat. Pen also co host the 83 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:25,039 Speaker 1: Essence two time Webbing nominated Yes Girl podcast, and she 84 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,359 Speaker 1: has covered women's lifestyle content for over sixteen years and 85 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 1: devoted her public speaking appearances to promoting healthy relationships and 86 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: balance living. Pen is also a proud wife and dog 87 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,479 Speaker 1: mom who resides in her home in New Jersey. And 88 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 1: we're going to dive into this a little bit more, 89 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: but she is also the amazing lifestyle editor that had 90 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:51,360 Speaker 1: me featured this month in Essences gorgeous magazine with the 91 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 1: cover of Zindaia. It's so beautiful and I get to 92 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,720 Speaker 1: speak to Black Joy in that issue. So we'll unwrap 93 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,320 Speaker 1: that a little bit more a little bit later without 94 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 1: further ado. Welcome to the show, Charlie, Hey bru, thank 95 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:09,320 Speaker 1: you so much for having me moment. I know, I mean, 96 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:13,680 Speaker 1: first of all, let's just say I am gracing the 97 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 1: issue of Essence magazine this month. Oh my gosh, thank 98 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,480 Speaker 1: you for that. That was such a gorgeous article on joy. 99 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,120 Speaker 1: You're so welcome, and thank you for blessing the audience 100 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 1: and our reader with your inner joy. Right because, like 101 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 1: we talked about, that's why I had to have you 102 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,040 Speaker 1: in that piece because you you know, you radiate all 103 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: those things. And we had the club that the year right, 104 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,600 Speaker 1: thank you. We had such a fun conversation that day two. 105 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that's how I knew. I was like, 106 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 1: I gotta get her on the podcast because we were 107 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:48,839 Speaker 1: just everything that we said. It was like, yes, oh right, sister, 108 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: I feel that my soul I received it. We were 109 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 1: having it was Kendred spirit moment. Yeah, yeah really, And 110 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: I was thinking about, you know, the very first time 111 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 1: that we met. I think at this point it maybe 112 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 1: it was five years ago, which is insane. We were 113 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,560 Speaker 1: in the DC area, I think we were actually closer 114 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 1: to Baltimore, and we're staying at this gorgeous hotel. Leslie 115 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 1: Cruz had put together this wonderful like like influencer campaign 116 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: around wellness with Radia Rhodes from Evoke Life, and we 117 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: all got to like drive cars to d C and 118 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 1: then we went to this huge hotel and we had 119 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 1: I mean, it was just really looking back, it's like, 120 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: you know, stuff like that wasn't happening then, and so 121 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: it was really this weekend of just black girl magic 122 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: of self care of Jess really like we did our 123 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: spa treatments, we talked, we had vision boarding sessions. It 124 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 1: was so exquisite. It was amazing, and I felt like 125 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 1: we were all sisters for a weekend at this little 126 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,360 Speaker 1: amazing getaway corner of the world. And it was it 127 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 1: was like you said, it was like the first of 128 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 1: its kind in a way, because now a self care 129 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: weekend is like, hey girl, we need to got here. 130 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: We can't. But then we were like, wait, Leslie, you 131 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 1: want us to come here and just vibe out and 132 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 1: meet together and make vision boards and get pampered. What remember? 133 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 1: It was like, sure, yes, please. It was a beautiful 134 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: I remember I met you at breakfast and you walked 135 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: in and you just had the most beautiful spirit, Like 136 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 1: it's just like you emanated delight when you walked in 137 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 1: the room and we were at the same table when 138 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: we started talking, and we've just stayed connected sense. But 139 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 1: it was, Yeah, that was so special. That was a moment. 140 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:36,720 Speaker 1: And thank you for feeling my energy through the way 141 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 1: I always feel yours. See what I'm saying, guys, Look 142 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:43,319 Speaker 1: I felt that way at you, Yes, and look at 143 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: this platform and look at what you're sharing. I'm so 144 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: excited to be here and talk about all these things. Yeah, 145 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 1: so you know, I mean your life is really steeped 146 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: in all the things wellness, all the things how we're 147 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 1: not just connecting with our inner selves but connecting with 148 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:01,920 Speaker 1: our partners, connecting our homes. I mean, you have just 149 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 1: had such a depth of expertise and really seeing the 150 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 1: trends of how women are showing up for themselves and 151 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: what they're craving. What have you noticed in the last 152 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 1: few years. Have there been any shifts or changes, especially 153 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 1: now with the pandemic, Like how are how are women 154 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:23,760 Speaker 1: of color exploring themselves and exploring the gifts of wellness. 155 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: I love that you say exploration because it really has 156 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 1: been these personalized, many missions of deep self exploration, and 157 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 1: we're seeing that with the Essence Reader, which has been 158 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,199 Speaker 1: really incredible to see. It's like, first it was like 159 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: that revelation that I don't really know myself, right. We 160 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: kind of saw that that first shift with everyone. It's 161 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,839 Speaker 1: like I'm busy, I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm 162 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:50,199 Speaker 1: a friend, i'm a daughter, I'm doing everything for everyone, 163 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,480 Speaker 1: So I feel like dev The first thing I saw 164 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 1: was that awakening, you know, in black women like acknowledging 165 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 1: and saying out loud, I don't put myself first. And 166 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: I feel like that was happening right around the time 167 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:06,200 Speaker 1: we were on that retreat, Like we were kind of 168 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 1: all saying, oh, I don't I don't do this, oh 169 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:11,920 Speaker 1: vision board, pampering what like, we didn't do it, and 170 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 1: then you had to realize, Okay, step one, I don't 171 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,600 Speaker 1: take care of myself, you know that was first. Step 172 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:21,199 Speaker 1: two was really okay, I'm going to get a PhD. 173 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 1: And how to do this right? Because we don't do 174 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 1: anything happens. So then it was kind of like who 175 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 1: do I follow? Who do I you know? Like what 176 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 1: crystals do I need to buy? What book? You know? Who? 177 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: What podcast? And then it was kind of like this 178 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:38,959 Speaker 1: advanced education. We got, like an advanced PhD in self 179 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 1: care and I love seeing black women died in consuming 180 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,439 Speaker 1: all the books, all the brands, all the influences, all 181 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: the conversations, all the retreats, we were just all in. 182 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,640 Speaker 1: And then we started figuring out, Okay, this is my playbook, 183 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 1: what page is for me? And that's where I feel 184 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,319 Speaker 1: like we are now in kind of expedited that right 185 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 1: is figuring out Okay, I tried everything. Now I know 186 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: what I love and what speaks to my soul, mind, body, 187 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 1: which you always talk about, and now I'm gonna fit 188 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:10,199 Speaker 1: this into my world. So I feel like right now 189 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,720 Speaker 1: everybody's trying to say, Okay, I get it, I've done it, 190 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 1: I know how to do it. Now I gotta make 191 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: it stick. Yeah, it's And I love that you that 192 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 1: you really pointed out that the first step was noticing 193 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:25,880 Speaker 1: that the way we've been doing life was wrong. It 194 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 1: was not the way that really the divine intended us 195 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,959 Speaker 1: to live or feel about ourselves. And that has been 196 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 1: one of the greatest Like I I celebrate the fact 197 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 1: that I'm alive in this exact moment in time, and 198 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,199 Speaker 1: that I'm a woman in this exact moment in time. 199 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:43,679 Speaker 1: We are we are beings that have never been this 200 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:47,040 Speaker 1: free in this way until now, you know, And and 201 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 1: that self investigation as the first step is so important, 202 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 1: just having that divine curiosity, being open to can I 203 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:59,079 Speaker 1: have more? Can I feel better about myself than I 204 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 1: feel right out? Yes? And speaking of feelings, that mean 205 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: for me, it was the moment when I realized how 206 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:10,120 Speaker 1: good it felt to tell someone that I'm unavailable for 207 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:14,200 Speaker 1: them because I'm now available for me, you know, like 208 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,880 Speaker 1: that moment for me which took me a while. It 209 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 1: took me a while, but to feel the joy and 210 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,320 Speaker 1: saying I'm not able to come to your birthday dinner. 211 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 1: I love you, but I actually have made space for 212 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 1: myself and to not feel the guilt or the burden. 213 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:34,120 Speaker 1: I used to always feel like I can't let anyone 214 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,240 Speaker 1: else down, but I was letting myself down constantly. And 215 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 1: then when I started fighting for myself, the guilt didn't, 216 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 1: you know, like the guilt didn't leave. But I think 217 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,240 Speaker 1: part of this movement at least for me, and I 218 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:46,120 Speaker 1: can only speak for myself here, but I hope you're 219 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 1: with me, sisters. For me, it was releasing that guilt 220 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:53,720 Speaker 1: and letting all that joy Russian. Yeah, God, that's so good. 221 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,720 Speaker 1: That's so good, you know, because when we explore the 222 00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 1: conversation of self care, we explore the conversation of wellness 223 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 1: for us as women, it's it's now all the ritual 224 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:05,920 Speaker 1: we gotta have it. I live my life and ritual 225 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,679 Speaker 1: my life is an offering, you know. But it's really 226 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:13,479 Speaker 1: it's the moment where we learned to stop betraying ourselves 227 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 1: that our epic journey and our spiritual transformation begins. How 228 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 1: did you begin to start saying no? It took baby steps, 229 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,840 Speaker 1: and you guys are gonna laugh, okay, But first I 230 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,199 Speaker 1: my first step and my journey was getting other people 231 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,840 Speaker 1: to say no for me. So like my first step 232 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:37,960 Speaker 1: was like wanting to cancel, right, wanting to not participate, 233 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,199 Speaker 1: or wanting to make time for me, but feeling too 234 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,480 Speaker 1: guilty to own it. So like telling my husband or 235 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,800 Speaker 1: my friend or you know, someone else to kind of 236 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: be the bearer of the bad news, being you know, 237 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,360 Speaker 1: hiding behind my truth. That was weird for me. But 238 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: then you know, over time I got a little bit 239 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:56,320 Speaker 1: better and you know, landing the news myself. And then 240 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,160 Speaker 1: also it started to just really be, like I said, 241 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: fun and excite to make the time. So it was 242 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 1: like I never over committed anymore because I was too 243 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 1: busy doing me. That's the other thing. You can't really 244 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:12,080 Speaker 1: be overcommitted to anyone else if you're over committed to yourself. Oh, 245 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 1: write that down, y'all, Please write that down. Please write 246 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 1: that down. That's like fill your calendar with baths and yeah, 247 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 1: moments and class and meditations and mindfulness and then you 248 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:27,000 Speaker 1: won't even have time to be too busy with other 249 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 1: things because you're busy with yourself, right, I mean, we 250 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 1: gotta be. That's something that has been such a tremendous 251 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: gift for me in the era of the pandemic. I 252 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:41,160 Speaker 1: feel like it's re taught me what my personal time was. 253 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: You know, I think, um, prior to this pandemic, obviously 254 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 1: because we all weren't at home all day, Um, it 255 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: was really like I was feeling myself constantly. So I'd 256 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,080 Speaker 1: usually have like a morning self care practice, but then 257 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 1: my nights would be full and really every every free 258 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,840 Speaker 1: second would be full. And this moment in time a 259 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,200 Speaker 1: allowed me to learn how to savor myself, you know, 260 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 1: like my evenings seven to ten, I put my kid 261 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 1: down at seven, my little baby, and from seven pm 262 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,320 Speaker 1: to ten pm, I am just in ritual in service 263 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 1: to myself. So some nights that looks like a long, 264 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:20,360 Speaker 1: really hot bath with two full sized bags of epsom salt, 265 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:25,160 Speaker 1: not a cup full size bags, you know, turning on 266 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 1: some music, dancing, lighting candles, praying, you know, writing, um, 267 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,480 Speaker 1: running in my journal. And it's like from developing that 268 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,240 Speaker 1: and cultivating that, it has completely changed the way I 269 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: experienced time, completely changed the way I experienced myself. And 270 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,840 Speaker 1: to your point, it's like even when life starts to 271 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 1: get some levels of familiar normalcy, um, you know, in 272 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,960 Speaker 1: the coming months and years, it's like now for me, 273 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 1: I know what my non negotiable is, like, my nights 274 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,560 Speaker 1: are always for me there. I might maybe two days 275 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 1: a week i'll go out, but everything else I'm not available. 276 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,640 Speaker 1: That's a complete answer. I love that. And you know, 277 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:07,080 Speaker 1: I aspire levels, y'all. Devie's got the levels here. I'm 278 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 1: trying to get to where you are. But what I 279 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 1: will say is I'm thinking of self care lately and 280 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 1: snack able bites, which is working for me because you know, 281 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 1: for some of us, I think working from home we 282 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,440 Speaker 1: work more right, more emails, longer nights and days and 283 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,600 Speaker 1: mornings at the desk, and I hate that because that 284 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 1: block of time, like what you're talking about, it does 285 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:30,160 Speaker 1: feel impossible. But Debbie, what I realized I was doing 286 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 1: is because I couldn't get my two hour window or 287 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 1: my one hour window. I thought I couldn't have a window. 288 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 1: But I threw that out, you know, and I kind 289 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 1: of said, well, what can I do in these ten minutes? 290 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 1: For me, what can I do in these four minutes 291 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:47,040 Speaker 1: or thirty minutes or forty five And it's turned into 292 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 1: dance breaks in the kitchen, extra long walk with my dog, 293 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 1: a twenty minute catchup call with an old friend, right, 294 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 1: a disco nap, remember those, A power nap, you know, 295 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,120 Speaker 1: like in the middle of the day. And they're not 296 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 1: long moments, but they sustained me and they fulfill me. 297 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: And I want to say, it's all my busy sisters 298 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 1: out there and brothers. If you don't have a lot 299 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 1: of time, you still have a little and it's still 300 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,440 Speaker 1: for you. It's still for you. Yeah, and it's enough 301 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 1: whatever that time is. If it is thirty seconds that 302 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:21,359 Speaker 1: you tell yourself, I have loved that is enough. Hold 303 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 1: that thought. We are coming right back. So you have 304 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: you have a really high pressure career like you are 305 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,880 Speaker 1: very much in a in a career of deadlines and 306 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:46,679 Speaker 1: constant like access to your visionary power, which mentally and 307 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,560 Speaker 1: emotionally can be quite taxing. You know, when you're creative, 308 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 1: when you are really envisioning what an entire vast demographic 309 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 1: of people, you're predicting the trends, you're coming up with 310 00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 1: the content you're really servicing and being of service to 311 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:06,359 Speaker 1: so many women. How do you really remember um to 312 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,280 Speaker 1: savor that time with yourself? How do you not allow 313 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,040 Speaker 1: the stress of what you do to become the stress 314 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,320 Speaker 1: of how you feel about yourself? Betty? That's a word, 315 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 1: and you know, says I think that's why I've always 316 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,920 Speaker 1: been drawn to you and your story, because you very 317 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,960 Speaker 1: much know the world that I am in and what 318 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,679 Speaker 1: it means to be a journalist and a personality and 319 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,680 Speaker 1: a host. And you know, you really, you know, broke 320 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: free from that and that burnout, and you talk about 321 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,679 Speaker 1: that a lot, but it speaks to my heart right 322 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 1: because it is very real. I know for me, I 323 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:43,199 Speaker 1: had to first realize that that wasn't okay, because you know, 324 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,920 Speaker 1: you do. I feel of service every day to black 325 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,919 Speaker 1: women because I'm getting to tell them about how to 326 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,040 Speaker 1: take care of themselves, how to live better, how to 327 00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 1: be well, and you know, and encouraging them to think 328 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 1: about things differently. And so you feel so good about 329 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,400 Speaker 1: helping other people live their best life that it's easy 330 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,160 Speaker 1: to forget that maybe in doing at work, you're not 331 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,439 Speaker 1: doing it. And for me it was it was this 332 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,480 Speaker 1: moment where I hosted an essence event and a local market. 333 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 1: It was themed around wellness. You know, the day was 334 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 1: incredible and we were talking about all the exciting things 335 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,399 Speaker 1: and you know, journaling and doing all these things, and 336 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,040 Speaker 1: I felt I was ill, like I was sick all day. 337 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 1: I was tired, I was beat. And then I got 338 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,399 Speaker 1: home and I said, how could I have just filled 339 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 1: all these women up? And I'm so depleted? You know, 340 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,200 Speaker 1: So for me, I had to go back, going back 341 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,000 Speaker 1: to the snack a thing. I was telling you about 342 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,320 Speaker 1: little reminders, little moments. So I have alarm set in 343 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:35,199 Speaker 1: my phone throughout the day to remember to breathe, to 344 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: remember to compliment myself, to remember to drink water, to 345 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: remember to pray, and to remember to call my husband 346 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,880 Speaker 1: or someone that I love, and to remember to get 347 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:47,399 Speaker 1: up and move. And those little alerts are I have 348 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,679 Speaker 1: them set Monday through Friday or Saturday Sunday, whatever, you know, 349 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,160 Speaker 1: my schedule allows. So when it comes up and I'm 350 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,879 Speaker 1: in a meeting and I've just dropped my head, it 351 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,639 Speaker 1: was a great drount, like it's my prayer break. But 352 00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,880 Speaker 1: it's helped me to find those little nuggets of moments. 353 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:04,000 Speaker 1: To remind myself to just be in the moment with myself. 354 00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,760 Speaker 1: So how did you fall into this path that you're 355 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 1: in because I feel like, you know, obviously you are 356 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 1: a journalist and you're very esteemed and celebrated, but to 357 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:18,399 Speaker 1: come into this space like with wellness and relationships, it 358 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:23,120 Speaker 1: takes a different kind of inquiry, like a different kind 359 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:27,639 Speaker 1: of curiosity and investigation to show up in those spaces 360 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,919 Speaker 1: and really share this work with women. How did you 361 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,440 Speaker 1: find yourself on that path and in this role. It's 362 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,480 Speaker 1: so great that you asked that, because the truth is, 363 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 1: it really found me. Like I knew I wanted to 364 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,880 Speaker 1: be a journalist. I trained to be, and I wanted 365 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 1: to be a writer and an editor, but focusing on 366 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 1: love and relationships and healthy relationships and wellness it was 367 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,480 Speaker 1: just what my heart was drawn to. You know. I 368 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 1: started my career and entertainment magazines and websites and things 369 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 1: like that, and then I took a break from that 370 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:56,920 Speaker 1: and ended up But then not, you guys know, the 371 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,919 Speaker 1: not the wedding site and everybody we were like twenty 372 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,199 Speaker 1: five and everybody was like, you're at a wedding site. What? 373 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,359 Speaker 1: And I'm like, but I love telling these love stories, 374 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 1: and so at my time at the NOTT was very 375 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,399 Speaker 1: much about telling love stories and newly web stories and 376 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 1: deep diving into relationships. But wait for it. The evolution 377 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,160 Speaker 1: right when you cover love and your passion, which mine is, 378 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:21,399 Speaker 1: is to focus on healthy, happy relationships. You realize you 379 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:25,320 Speaker 1: need to whole people to come together to be in 380 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: a healthy relationship. So if I don't work on if 381 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,160 Speaker 1: I don't help you work on you, then how can 382 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,159 Speaker 1: I tell you how to be a great partner if 383 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,919 Speaker 1: you're not being great to yourself. So it was really 384 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,200 Speaker 1: such a natural evolution to be covering love and relationships 385 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 1: and essence for all these years and then to transition 386 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,720 Speaker 1: into wellness because everything was related. If you want to 387 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,159 Speaker 1: be mindful, how are you mindful with your partner? You know? 388 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 1: If you want to be confident when you're going on 389 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,080 Speaker 1: a date, you've got to love yourself more than the 390 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,879 Speaker 1: person you think you're about to fall in love with 391 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 1: at that restaurant. Right, Like, there's it's all connected, y'all. 392 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,359 Speaker 1: And it hit me right like a truck. I was like, Okay, 393 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,360 Speaker 1: I can't preach and help and engage people and help 394 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:08,560 Speaker 1: be happy. Friendships, parenting, romantic relationships if they're not right 395 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 1: with themselves. So it's all connected. So it really just 396 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,480 Speaker 1: all sort of came together in my mission to deeply 397 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,639 Speaker 1: serve black women in essence, like it was like, I 398 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 1: gotta do it all. It's got to be holistic. And 399 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,439 Speaker 1: what does that look like in your home? You know, 400 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 1: when you think of your wholeness and you're all of 401 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 1: the snack able joy that you gift yourself with. What 402 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,680 Speaker 1: does that look like for the man of your life? 403 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,600 Speaker 1: And then what does that look like for a couple. 404 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:36,080 Speaker 1: How do you guys practice your wellness together? Well, for me, 405 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,520 Speaker 1: I realized, well, for us, I should say first and foremost, 406 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,880 Speaker 1: you have to make it a priority. Like I think 407 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: with a lot of couples, they're like, okay, well we're 408 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 1: not fighting, then we're vibing. But I realized that that's 409 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 1: not mindfulness, that's not being in the moment and in 410 00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:54,800 Speaker 1: that relationship with your partner. You're just not fighting. It 411 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you're really jelling. So for us, we're 412 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 1: very intentional about times it together. That's device free, about 413 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,520 Speaker 1: times been together that allows us to talk and feel 414 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 1: open and feel good. We do a lot of drives 415 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 1: romantic car rides. And it's funny because it was quarantin before. 416 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:15,120 Speaker 1: But y'all are really into these car days now. Right now, 417 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:18,840 Speaker 1: everybody's at a road trip. That's great, come on along, no, 418 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 1: but also in all seriousness, the little things, you know, 419 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,480 Speaker 1: like just we have date nights in our living room. 420 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 1: It's always been really important to us since the beginning, 421 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 1: when we first started dating sixteen years ago, to just 422 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:34,119 Speaker 1: make time to be together. That was that didn't involve technology. 423 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,560 Speaker 1: But I think that's important because those are the moments 424 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,639 Speaker 1: of when we take the trip and we go to 425 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,639 Speaker 1: the resort where we have to unplugly brod phones in 426 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,320 Speaker 1: the car, that's when I hear him, That's when he 427 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,639 Speaker 1: hears me. And that's when you get to the bottom 428 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,919 Speaker 1: of maybe what you're not getting right, or maybe what 429 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:49,959 Speaker 1: you need to do better, or maybe a way you 430 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 1: haven't been serving each other or yourselves. But you kind 431 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:54,960 Speaker 1: of gotta. You have to get all the noise out. 432 00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,919 Speaker 1: And I think, you know, I kudos to any couple 433 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,919 Speaker 1: who hasn't. You know, I bought through the pandemic. I 434 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,840 Speaker 1: get it. It's how it's been hard. But even if 435 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,280 Speaker 1: you haven't, there's probably still more work to be done, 436 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,160 Speaker 1: because this is time you could be connecting and getting 437 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:11,359 Speaker 1: closer and not just your romantic relationships. I've been getting 438 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,880 Speaker 1: closer to my friends, which has been really beautiful. Like 439 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 1: I realized at the beginning of the pandemic deav that 440 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,919 Speaker 1: I had text in my phone where I left someone 441 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,119 Speaker 1: unread for weeks and I thought it was days or 442 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,600 Speaker 1: even months, you know, like an old friends like hey, 443 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,600 Speaker 1: how have you been thinking of you? And I was like, oh, 444 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get right back to them, and then life happened, 445 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:33,600 Speaker 1: and then like three months later, I was like, oh 446 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 1: my god. So for me, it was about rebuilding those 447 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:41,200 Speaker 1: bonds and picking up the phone, calling face time, let 448 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,720 Speaker 1: me see you, let me see the new shoe, let 449 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,679 Speaker 1: me see your kids right, let me look out the 450 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 1: window with you, let me connect with you, and just 451 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,360 Speaker 1: being more intentional about all connections in my life. And 452 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 1: so it's been beautiful. And honestly, I've learned to say 453 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,719 Speaker 1: to people not how are you doing, but how are 454 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:02,040 Speaker 1: you feeling? Yeah? I really like to ask that because 455 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:04,440 Speaker 1: if you say how you're doing, the quick answer, right 456 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:08,679 Speaker 1: is good good? How are you good? Good? Yeah? It 457 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:12,520 Speaker 1: is just for me, like I hate that question. Well, 458 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,120 Speaker 1: I don't hate anything, but you know what I mean, 459 00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:17,360 Speaker 1: Like I dislike, um, yeah, how are you? I Oh 460 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,760 Speaker 1: my god. When people ask me that question, especially people 461 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,600 Speaker 1: that don't know you, I get that question a lot, 462 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,480 Speaker 1: like randomly in a d M. How are you? Like? 463 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 1: What is what is your point of context? Like? How 464 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,560 Speaker 1: how would I answer that question other than just being 465 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,080 Speaker 1: like good? You know? So it's like, yeah, it's so 466 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,920 Speaker 1: important to deepen the way we're even in shorter moments 467 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 1: conversing with our friends and the people, because the whole 468 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,600 Speaker 1: point what I'm hearing and what you're saying is like, 469 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,320 Speaker 1: especially in relationship to your husband, you know, the whole 470 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 1: point of relationship, the whole point of knowing people is 471 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 1: to be mirrors for one another. Is so that we 472 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:55,040 Speaker 1: can be the sharpeners of each other and the chiselers 473 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,879 Speaker 1: of one another and ourselves, you know. And I love 474 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:02,680 Speaker 1: the grace that you're affording yourself with those friendships, right 475 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,040 Speaker 1: because life happens, you know, And I think it's so 476 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,600 Speaker 1: you're gonna do yourself a disservice if the way you're 477 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,199 Speaker 1: experiencing this pandemic is from the lens of lack of 478 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,800 Speaker 1: who isn't showing up for you or who isn't checking 479 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,240 Speaker 1: on you? I've seen that. I've seen that circulate around 480 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,200 Speaker 1: Instagram quite a bit, right, like, pay attention to who's 481 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 1: not checking on you? This is a global pandemic, Like 482 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:27,919 Speaker 1: we are all doing the best that we can, you know, 483 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 1: and being able to have grace for our friends and 484 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:34,760 Speaker 1: and ask supporting questions without assumption. You know, something I 485 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 1: love to do with my friends, With all of my friends, 486 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,080 Speaker 1: if I have something I know I need to talk 487 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,840 Speaker 1: about and it might have some gravity to it, I'll say, hey, 488 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 1: do you have bandwidth for this? I have something I 489 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 1: want to share? Do you have the emotional or the 490 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 1: mental space right now to take that on? You know? 491 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: And sometimes I'll even say I need about fifteen minutes 492 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 1: to unpack this is that possible for you right now? 493 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,800 Speaker 1: And then I don't have judgment if it's a no. 494 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 1: You know, but it's so important that we just expand 495 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 1: the ways that we can show for people. WHI also 496 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:08,119 Speaker 1: honoring ourselves. So true, and I love the way you 497 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,240 Speaker 1: phrased it. I know with my friends, we like to 498 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:14,800 Speaker 1: say trigger warning, like Hey, I'm in my feelings, I'm 499 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,040 Speaker 1: swimming in them right now, would you like to jump 500 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 1: in with me? If not, okay, love you by trigger warning. 501 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 1: But it's been very helpful because you're right. Part of 502 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 1: being a good friend and partner is knowing when to 503 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:27,359 Speaker 1: not unload on everyone or to not judge, and to 504 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,639 Speaker 1: give each other that grace. I love what you're saying. 505 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,440 Speaker 1: It's so true and grace For me, grace and gratitude 506 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,119 Speaker 1: have been the theme of grace because we got to 507 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,840 Speaker 1: feel what we feel and it's weird and uncomfortable and 508 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:42,520 Speaker 1: we're all in it together. And grace because me judging 509 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,880 Speaker 1: you is just one more thing you or I don't need. 510 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,720 Speaker 1: So let's just we don't need anything else right in 511 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,920 Speaker 1: So let's just skip that part and love on each other. 512 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,760 Speaker 1: Please please leave. I love the card dates too. I 513 00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:57,119 Speaker 1: want to I want to pop in and say one 514 00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,119 Speaker 1: of my favorite things to do is to be in 515 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,159 Speaker 1: the car and play music for each other, like like 516 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,439 Speaker 1: share the share the ox cord, share the Bluetooth, and 517 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,520 Speaker 1: then just trying to outdo each other. Oh my god, 518 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 1: I am one of those people that is like an 519 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:15,479 Speaker 1: eternal fourteen year old that's like, please make me a mixtape, 520 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:21,000 Speaker 1: sit with my headphones and nineties and I will be like, 521 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:22,919 Speaker 1: this one goes out to you, and now thanks to 522 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,359 Speaker 1: Google and Alexa, I'm like dedicating songs from the kitchen 523 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 1: like you have to make it fine, you do. And 524 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,520 Speaker 1: I think that is that we're in the season of 525 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:36,800 Speaker 1: small moments becoming bigger moments. So let's let's fuel those 526 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:41,360 Speaker 1: little moments with love and connect. So as someone who 527 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:45,080 Speaker 1: has they're they're really their hands their fingers on the 528 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 1: pulse of the wellness culture and the way that people 529 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 1: are loving themselves and healing themselves. What are some things 530 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,560 Speaker 1: that have come up for you that maybe you were like, 531 00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,760 Speaker 1: I don't know, people did this, or something that surprised 532 00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 1: you that you tried and felt really good. Oh that's 533 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,480 Speaker 1: a good question. Let me think, because we have to 534 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:06,720 Speaker 1: try so much something that surprised me. Listen, I gotta 535 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,920 Speaker 1: come with it, because when you are interviewing a journalist 536 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,880 Speaker 1: and an editor, you know, I can't just be like, 537 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,880 Speaker 1: how's your heart, queen, how you feeling? Like that's I 538 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,600 Speaker 1: love it? You stop me. I'm like, wait, okay, what's 539 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,080 Speaker 1: something I didn't know? That's a great question. Let me think, 540 00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 1: Let me think. I aspair with me um. Oh. Well. 541 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:31,800 Speaker 1: One thing that I will say is that my personal 542 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 1: approach to wellness at essence has been very much about 543 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:39,440 Speaker 1: wellness for every woman and everybody, not just for the 544 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:44,600 Speaker 1: wellness enthusiasts and the fitness grew So let's talk about okay, 545 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,600 Speaker 1: because I think that for me, I felt like I 546 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,840 Speaker 1: was the perfect person to do this, because for so 547 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,480 Speaker 1: long I felt like it didn't speak to me, like 548 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 1: I'm not the girl with the yoga mat. Anyone who 549 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:57,960 Speaker 1: knows me knows I'm about to give a word. I'm 550 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,600 Speaker 1: not the yoga mat girl. I'm not the workout class girl. 551 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,520 Speaker 1: I'm not that person who wakes up thinking about when 552 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:05,680 Speaker 1: I can make it to the gym or you know, 553 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,840 Speaker 1: jumping on a smoothie. I've never been that girl. But 554 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,360 Speaker 1: I am someone who wants each and every day of 555 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,480 Speaker 1: my life to be just a little healthier and a 556 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,920 Speaker 1: little happier, and to make decisions in the short term 557 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,240 Speaker 1: that affect the long term and that give me more 558 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 1: years on this earth right and a better quality of 559 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,480 Speaker 1: life on this earth. But I need it to be 560 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 1: approachable and real and relatable. And I think that what 561 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 1: I've learned on this journey is that anything that is 562 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,480 Speaker 1: like drastic, like you're gonna change your whole life and 563 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,360 Speaker 1: you're gonna lose a hundred pounds and you're gonna feel 564 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 1: like anything that that is a hard sell to just 565 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,640 Speaker 1: make everything better overnight. I don't think it works for 566 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,719 Speaker 1: most women, Like if that's just not what you're super into, 567 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 1: it's almost like a deterrent. And I also what I 568 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,480 Speaker 1: did learn is it's okay to say what you don't love. 569 00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:54,239 Speaker 1: Like I love yoga, but I don't like bloodies, Like 570 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,680 Speaker 1: it's just not I think it doesn't make me feel good. 571 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,560 Speaker 1: I never get into it. I feel uncomfortable. It's not 572 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:03,000 Speaker 1: my jam. Um, that's okay. I realized I hate cycling, 573 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,600 Speaker 1: but soul Cycle changed my life because it's the music 574 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:09,120 Speaker 1: and the inspiration and the vibe. And I realized I 575 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 1: had to figure out a way to make it make sense. 576 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,960 Speaker 1: And like we were talking about, I'm a music lover. 577 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,320 Speaker 1: So I I've learned that it's okay to be the 578 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:19,240 Speaker 1: person looking around in the class saying this is super 579 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,560 Speaker 1: uncomfortable and super weird and I don't like it because 580 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:24,960 Speaker 1: there's something out there that you may like. I did it. 581 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:29,000 Speaker 1: Infrared Sauna recently, and I was I thought it was 582 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,040 Speaker 1: gonna be like I was like, okay, I'm gonna go. 583 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 1: And the sweat, like you can't possibly give me all 584 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,720 Speaker 1: these endorphins and all these things and all the skin. 585 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:40,400 Speaker 1: It was addictive, you know, like I didn't expect You've 586 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:44,960 Speaker 1: got it, You've done it, that done. You know, Yes, 587 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,880 Speaker 1: I love it. I put your put your playlists in 588 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:53,040 Speaker 1: there and just let me sweat wet it out in 589 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:56,440 Speaker 1: your cushy, comfy robe. But that was unexpected in a 590 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,960 Speaker 1: good way, you know. I did the wellness I V 591 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 1: drifts that really freaked out, that really freak Yeah, yeah 592 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:06,160 Speaker 1: I didn't. I don't. I don't love that personally. Yeah, 593 00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:09,080 Speaker 1: it was great in the moment, but then it was 594 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,440 Speaker 1: kind of like feeling like a really natural high. But 595 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 1: I don't know it was I don't know. It wasn't 596 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 1: for me. It was for me for like a second, 597 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,000 Speaker 1: and then I was like, no, this is really a lot. 598 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,680 Speaker 1: I felt like I was at the hospital. But I 599 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 1: say that to say to answer your question, it's it's 600 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,440 Speaker 1: funny because I think the things I've loved the most 601 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,480 Speaker 1: that have been unexpected are the things that weren't high 602 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,280 Speaker 1: pressure and I think when it comes to wellness, we 603 00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,880 Speaker 1: gotta get in where we fit in, you know, like yeah, 604 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:33,920 Speaker 1: you know and that and that's like the that's the 605 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:38,720 Speaker 1: that's really the meat of it. It's like wellness does 606 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,920 Speaker 1: wellness and healing does not have to look instagrammatable instagrammable, 607 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,280 Speaker 1: and it doesn't have to be comparable. You know. That 608 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,120 Speaker 1: was a big part for me too when I first, 609 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:51,640 Speaker 1: you know, really deep dove into my path of meditation. 610 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:55,240 Speaker 1: After I went to a meditation retreat, I felt like, 611 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,360 Speaker 1: where do you like, what do I do? Where do 612 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:00,600 Speaker 1: I go from here? Because I'm not need to leave 613 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,640 Speaker 1: my life behind and join an ashram right like I 614 00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,360 Speaker 1: don't do yoga every day at this moment in time 615 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,680 Speaker 1: or then, so I was like, where do where does 616 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:12,560 Speaker 1: my wellness and my spirituality fit into within this? And 617 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,280 Speaker 1: now we're in that moment where there's not those harsh 618 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:19,000 Speaker 1: boundaries anymore, those walls, like we're clear, I think, I hope, 619 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,719 Speaker 1: or if you're listening, then you're not know you are 620 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:26,440 Speaker 1: allowed permission to make your own little bespoke recipe, like 621 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:31,000 Speaker 1: your wellness is catered to what you like, what brings 622 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,720 Speaker 1: you joy, what makes you feel good and your body 623 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 1: feel nourished, and you have to be willing to just say, 624 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:41,080 Speaker 1: let's see what happens. So I was at a wellness 625 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,640 Speaker 1: UM event last year. I think it was last year. 626 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:45,520 Speaker 1: I don't even know months or days and years and 627 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:49,760 Speaker 1: where are we? What is um? But they had the 628 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:54,480 Speaker 1: woman came from Thailand with the giant gone like the 629 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 1: giant sound healing, which she just rang it and rang it, 630 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,520 Speaker 1: and we stood and we could it is sound healing, right, 631 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 1: So we sat there, but it was the gong was 632 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:08,000 Speaker 1: like the size of like the room. It was humongous. 633 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,719 Speaker 1: And I said, let me just close my eyes and 634 00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:13,359 Speaker 1: see what happens. I fully relaxed. I closed my eyes 635 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,399 Speaker 1: and one of the things she said is that you're 636 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:19,120 Speaker 1: going to feel the energy leaving, the stress leaving from 637 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:22,400 Speaker 1: where it is in your body. And it blew me 638 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,400 Speaker 1: away because when I opened my eyes, it was like 639 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,680 Speaker 1: I was asleep, that's how relaxing it was. And I 640 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,040 Speaker 1: didn't even realize I had kind of gone into the trance. 641 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:34,400 Speaker 1: And when I came out, my heart was fluttering. But 642 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:38,400 Speaker 1: I was dealing with a lot emotionally, and it was 643 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:42,120 Speaker 1: the coolest experience to feel the stress physically leaving my heart, 644 00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,080 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because things were heavy on 645 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,080 Speaker 1: it and something. The lady next to me was like, 646 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,960 Speaker 1: oh my knees. Someone else was like, oh my shoulder. 647 00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:54,799 Speaker 1: Like we the stress was just leaving and breaking up 648 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:58,280 Speaker 1: the matter. It was just dissolving and leaving our bodies. 649 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,719 Speaker 1: And you have to be open into everything to have 650 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,839 Speaker 1: these experiences and to find that thing that moves you. 651 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:06,319 Speaker 1: I ran over to her and I'm like, do you 652 00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,560 Speaker 1: touch the class? What do you? And she's like, I 653 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 1: do not, but find one because you're happy, you feel good. 654 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,600 Speaker 1: And I felt the results of that and I felt 655 00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:18,239 Speaker 1: that long term effects of that for days. So you 656 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,040 Speaker 1: have to be open, guys. That's what I say. Be 657 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:23,120 Speaker 1: open to whatever cool and amazing thing. Try it all, 658 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:24,560 Speaker 1: some of your love, some of you hate. If you've 659 00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,360 Speaker 1: got to try, yeah, yeah, just try because what do 660 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:30,040 Speaker 1: you really have to lose? And I am grateful that 661 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:33,680 Speaker 1: you brought this point up because you know something I think, 662 00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:40,799 Speaker 1: especially especially women of color, need to really um gift themselves. 663 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 1: It is these kind of experiences that go against maybe 664 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,880 Speaker 1: cultural and societal norms or things that your family structure 665 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:50,040 Speaker 1: was used to. Because what you spoke to with the 666 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,480 Speaker 1: sound of that gong. And when you do like sound 667 00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:57,040 Speaker 1: healing or use um singing bowls or sound therapy, it 668 00:35:57,239 --> 00:36:00,480 Speaker 1: helps to on a cellular level, it helps to break 669 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,600 Speaker 1: up the trauma, it helps to move the energy. So 670 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,480 Speaker 1: in my own home, I have several singing bowls that 671 00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:08,680 Speaker 1: I do every day, usually to start it in my day. 672 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,120 Speaker 1: But I got a simple bell. I have a I 673 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:12,920 Speaker 1: have a bell that's like you know, it's kind of 674 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:14,880 Speaker 1: like the size of those bells that you'd see on 675 00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:16,880 Speaker 1: you know, those shows when you're ringing for a mate 676 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:20,360 Speaker 1: or something, right, And one of those bells that's of 677 00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:24,680 Speaker 1: the frequency for the sacred chakra area. And whenever I'm 678 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,279 Speaker 1: having a bad day, whenever I need to clear some 679 00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:30,200 Speaker 1: energy or after my meditation, I literally just get that bell, 680 00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,560 Speaker 1: as simple as it sounds, and I ring it in 681 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:41,120 Speaker 1: front of all my chuckra points so crown, um, third eye, throat, heart, solar, plexus, 682 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,560 Speaker 1: sacred root, and shake the bell everywhere. Then shake the 683 00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:46,640 Speaker 1: bell on the sides of my ears. I did an 684 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:48,239 Speaker 1: i g TV on this that should be on my 685 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:52,160 Speaker 1: page if anyone's interested somewhere, it's there. But and that 686 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,160 Speaker 1: movement of energy sometimes that's all you need, you know, 687 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,120 Speaker 1: And so we even overthink our wellness sometimes because we 688 00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:02,080 Speaker 1: haven't done enough exploration and haven't been curious enough to 689 00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:05,560 Speaker 1: cultivate more tools. But sometimes it's not as hard as 690 00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:10,840 Speaker 1: it feels. Yeah. Absolutely, And we black women hold onto 691 00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:14,319 Speaker 1: trauma physically. We don't even realize it, but we're carrying it. 692 00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,600 Speaker 1: You guys were carrying it in our backs and our 693 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:20,080 Speaker 1: shoulders and our knees and our feet and our bones. 694 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:24,560 Speaker 1: It just is. And every different people carry stress differently. 695 00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,600 Speaker 1: And of course you know our superhero syndrome, this idea 696 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,759 Speaker 1: that we have so much, so much on us that 697 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,520 Speaker 1: stays with us. So I say, finding ways to release 698 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,040 Speaker 1: trauma should be at the like you said, at the 699 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:41,040 Speaker 1: top of your wellness priority lives. Yes, getting shape, yes, 700 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,920 Speaker 1: get snatched, Yes, drink more water, all the things. I 701 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,440 Speaker 1: love it. But also how are you releasing stress and 702 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,560 Speaker 1: trauma and reading it from your body or not letting 703 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,560 Speaker 1: the effects of its stay there? Yeah? Yeah, and you 704 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:55,799 Speaker 1: gotta you gotta do all of it. It's not just 705 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,080 Speaker 1: one thing. It's not just reading a book, and it's 706 00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,759 Speaker 1: not just working out, or it's not us doing even 707 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:04,680 Speaker 1: singing therapy. It's it's really the cultivation of all of 708 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,279 Speaker 1: those tools for your mind, body, spirit, and so like 709 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:10,080 Speaker 1: for self care practices. Everyone you really want to think of, 710 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:14,759 Speaker 1: like the four pillars to wholeness mental, physical, emotional, spiritual. 711 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:18,520 Speaker 1: Drop something into each of those buckets every day. Doesn't 712 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,239 Speaker 1: have to be grand, doesn't have to be big or expensive. 713 00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,560 Speaker 1: But if you're filling those four buckets every day, you're 714 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:28,560 Speaker 1: gonna see radical transformation. And we're here for all these transformations, 715 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:32,440 Speaker 1: you guys. I want to see everybody transform. I want 716 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,920 Speaker 1: us all to step into our new year, our new life, 717 00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:38,799 Speaker 1: and our new piece together, you know. And going back 718 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,759 Speaker 1: to you know, the most recent project we worked on Devy, 719 00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:44,840 Speaker 1: which is the art of black Joy story. I picked 720 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:49,799 Speaker 1: that topic because it was transforming together that got me 721 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,360 Speaker 1: through and if you guys haven't had chance to read it, 722 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,920 Speaker 1: please go check it out. I talked to each of 723 00:38:54,920 --> 00:39:00,239 Speaker 1: these the day. It's fantastic, but we I talked each 724 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:04,640 Speaker 1: woman about sharing her joy with others and joy as 725 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:07,279 Speaker 1: a form of almost like a bridge to help us 726 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,400 Speaker 1: get through this year. And I interviewed every woman that 727 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:13,480 Speaker 1: did that for me. Debbie was one of them. It's 728 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:18,400 Speaker 1: also Tabatha brand Brown Danielle Brooks and Kelsey Guy the Skater. 729 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:22,200 Speaker 1: But I'm telling you, guys, it's important to share that 730 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,240 Speaker 1: joy and to be open with people who are changing 731 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:29,680 Speaker 1: your life because your you alls transformations helped further mind 732 00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:33,040 Speaker 1: along and I think that's sometimes we forget the power 733 00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:37,160 Speaker 1: of inspiration, Like maybe I just was having the worst 734 00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,319 Speaker 1: day and Debbie you popped up on my feet or 735 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:44,120 Speaker 1: Tabatha and just being along your journey with you helped 736 00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:47,240 Speaker 1: me stick to mind even if that day wasn't perfect. 737 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:49,400 Speaker 1: It was a reminder that I'm not alone and we're 738 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:54,279 Speaker 1: all transforming together. M hm oh so beautiful. Thank you, 739 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,359 Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. How can everybody connect to you? 740 00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:03,200 Speaker 1: Find me on Instagram at Charlie Penn on Twitter at 741 00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,919 Speaker 1: man Wife Dog We have a fur baby at home? 742 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:09,480 Speaker 1: Did I give that away? Um? And you can email 743 00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:13,640 Speaker 1: me Charlie Penn at Gmail or c pen at essence 744 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:17,840 Speaker 1: dot com. Get at me, Let's share love, joy, insite, 745 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:22,400 Speaker 1: pitch me anything. Oh I love that? Okay, that's the 746 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:24,960 Speaker 1: homework for the week, guys, that's the soul work. What 747 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:28,480 Speaker 1: are you pitching? And of course your podcast, the Yes 748 00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:35,160 Speaker 1: Girl Podcast critically claim everywhere you are so kind. Thank 749 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:36,960 Speaker 1: you so much for your time. It's such a joy 750 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,239 Speaker 1: to talk to you. And I'm just so grateful for 751 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:43,000 Speaker 1: your existence and the way that you occupy space and 752 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:46,520 Speaker 1: give the tools to all of us so that we 753 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:50,120 Speaker 1: can feel good from the inside out. Fay, the love 754 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:53,480 Speaker 1: est is so mutual. Thank you so much for having me. Oh, 755 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:57,240 Speaker 1: I feel so refreshed, revived and loved and fulfilled. Stop y'all, 756 00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,840 Speaker 1: this is like the best experience on this show. And 757 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:07,279 Speaker 1: thank you for having me. I love you. G Hey 758 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:11,080 Speaker 1: find me on social Let's connect at Deviie Brown. That's 759 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:14,320 Speaker 1: Twitter and Instagram, or go to my website Debbie Brown 760 00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,200 Speaker 1: dot com. And if you're listening to the show on 761 00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:22,960 Speaker 1: Apple podcasts, please please please don't forget to rate, review, 762 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:28,080 Speaker 1: and subscribe and send this episode to a friend. Dropping 763 00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,360 Speaker 1: Jams is the production of I Heart Radio and The 764 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:34,560 Speaker 1: Black Effect Network. It's produced by Triple and Me Debbie Brown. 765 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,560 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from My Heart Radio, visit the I 766 00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:41,360 Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to 767 00:41:41,400 --> 00:42:14,880 Speaker 1: your favorite shows.