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Speaker 1: Remember lying as a kid to try to get out

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Speaker 1: of going to school. Oh yeah, such a good time.

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Speaker 1: It's broken, Jeffrey in the morning. You'd fake an illness

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Speaker 1: or invent an injury. Oh maybe slash the tires on

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Speaker 1: your mom's car.

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Speaker 2: So criminals did its apparently?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, not again. What are the thugs in this

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Speaker 1: cul de sac? Always hit our house? But when you

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Speaker 1: grow up, you got to get a little bit more

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Speaker 1: creative with your lies if you're trying to get out

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Speaker 1: of work. And it turns out some people just aren't

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Speaker 1: very good at that. Oh my god. Because a new

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Speaker 1: survey asked people to share the funniest excuses they've ever

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Speaker 1: heard somebody else use in order to leave work early. Oh,

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Speaker 1: here we go. You know, people try to get creative

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Speaker 1: with it, But is it believable? Let's find out. One

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Speaker 1: person said they needed to leave work because their dog

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Speaker 1: had locked their son out of their house. But what

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Speaker 1: if that's true somehow?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, why would you say that if it wasn't actually accurate?

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Speaker 2: That makeup?

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Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, it is interesting to think that a dog

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Speaker 1: could like turn the knob on a door to lock it,

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Speaker 1: But maybe the.

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Speaker 2: Door was already locked, like the handle you know, like

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Speaker 2: where you can set the handle to just close and

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Speaker 2: then the dog shut the door on accident.

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Speaker 1: Maybe their dog was Scooby Doo and he's just very desterious,

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Speaker 1: like mom.

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Speaker 3: To depress all the key cones.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, number all right, we'll give them a pass on

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Speaker 1: that one. Another excuse that somebody tried they couldn't come

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Speaker 1: to work because their reflection looked judgy. That happening, and

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Speaker 1: they needed a mental health day to self evaluate and

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Speaker 1: repair their relationship with the mirror brook You buying that one?

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Speaker 2: Well, I have gotten into a fight with my shadow before, so.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you don't have alpha crisis before you go

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Speaker 3: out and you're like.

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Speaker 2: That's it.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going like that's what this feels like. Not

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Speaker 1: mental health ball. Yeah, tired eyes, that's the same thing.

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Speaker 1: It is, don't deserve to work that day. Another gem

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Speaker 1: someone tossed out to get out of work. Their parent

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Speaker 1: got out of its cage and was chasing their wife

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Speaker 1: around the house.

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Speaker 2: It's a Randy parrot.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, you know that one's a lot because any

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Speaker 1: real husband would think that was hilarious and they would

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Speaker 1: not go rushing home to help.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. All I can think about is remember

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Speaker 2: our intern who lost his keys in a lake two

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Speaker 2: states away. Yeah, how did they even get here? I

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Speaker 2: can't remember.

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Speaker 1: Idea.

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Speaker 2: He somehow got to work, but then had to go

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Speaker 2: back to the other state to retrieve his vehicle.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't even know how he got it.

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Speaker 2: This was the same intern that locked himself out on

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Speaker 2: a balcony for hours.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he got into so many shenanigans. We just started

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Speaker 1: believing everything that can. I say, he owns like four houses.

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Speaker 1: He's doing better than all of us. Yes, this is

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Speaker 1: a good one. Someone told their boss they needed to

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Speaker 1: leave early because they're was low on gas. It makes

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Speaker 1: total sense. Gas disappears from the tank if you leave

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Speaker 1: it in there for too long, so you got to

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Speaker 1: get some more before it runs out. I remember one

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Speaker 1: time when I worked at the Olive Garden. I was

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Speaker 1: a busser, but it was a.

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Speaker 3: Religious holiday like our lady of Guadaloupe, something about the

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Speaker 3: Latino community.

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Speaker 1: So I tried to say, I can't.

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Speaker 3: Come in today because my family's going to my manager,

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Speaker 3: whose name was Vicente Goes Jose. The entire kitchen is

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Speaker 3: filled with Mexicans holiday.

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Speaker 1: No, they would be here. Get to work and I

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Speaker 1: had to come into work. That's right, I forgot damn it.

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Speaker 3: Why were they working with a.

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Speaker 1: Bunch of white people, you're just joining us. We're looking

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Speaker 1: at a survey where people shared the dumbest excuses that

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Speaker 1: they've ever heard somebody else try to use in order

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Speaker 1: to get out of going to work. This one I

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Speaker 1: believe because it says they worked from home. But they

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Speaker 1: said they had to leave an online meeting because a

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Speaker 1: squirrel fell down their chimney and was running around inside

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Speaker 1: their house. I believe that one. I can see that

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Speaker 1: that's too crazy to make up. That has to have

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Speaker 1: actually happened. This.

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Speaker 2: Why are animals so wild when they're in your own home?

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Speaker 2: Like if a bird in your house, it is honestly

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Speaker 2: the scariest thing.

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Speaker 1: To be fair, Whenever I go into like a new

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Speaker 1: hotel room, I kind of act like an animal, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like running around, I'm jumping on the bed, I'm

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Speaker 1: going crazy in there. In the bathroom, yeah, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: where's the exits. I don't know I can relate. Let's

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Speaker 1: keep going with it. Back to the gold Someone told

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Speaker 1: their boss they had to go because their goldfish was drowning,

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Speaker 1: and then they walked out of the office before the

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Speaker 1: manager could process the physics of that statement.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they breathe water.

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Speaker 1: Another one says a guy called out of work saying

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Speaker 1: he got lost in the woods all weekend and didn't

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Speaker 1: find his way back home until like four am Monday morning,

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Speaker 1: so he needed rest.

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Speaker 2: He could have just been camping.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not lying. I mean I planned to get

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Speaker 1: lost for the entire weekend, but still I am in

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Speaker 1: a cabin. Yeah. One person actually left a hot tip

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Speaker 1: for the excuse that they liked to use quote. I

111
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Speaker 1: frequently say I have a cast role in the oven

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Speaker 1: and then just leave. I use it for parties, weddings,

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Speaker 1: social events, and work doesn't matter. I'll just check my

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Speaker 1: watch and say, oh, I have a cast role in

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Speaker 1: the oven, and I go And it works every time.

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Speaker 2: Who leaves then leaves their house, goes to a wedd

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Speaker 2: What like a croc pot?

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Speaker 1: Would that work? No? No, never mind. And finally one

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Speaker 1: worker witnessed this. It says their wife called the office

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Speaker 1: and said her husband had to come home immediately. She

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Speaker 1: sounded flustered and couldn't explain why everybody in the office

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Speaker 1: was concerned. And then later the guy walked back into

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Speaker 1: work and confessed his wife had called into a radio

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Speaker 1: show and won five hundred dollars because she was able

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Speaker 1: to convince him to leave work immediately without telling him

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Speaker 1: it was a radio contest. That was the contest. Oh,

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Speaker 1: you gotta do something like that.

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Speaker 3: Take if you get him to quit your job yet

129
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Speaker 3: fifty bucks.

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Speaker 1: So those were the strangest excuses people have ever tried

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Speaker 1: to use to get out of work. And if you want,

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Speaker 1: you can tell your boss. I have to come in

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Speaker 1: late today because Brooke and Jeffery were doing a prank

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Speaker 1: call and I couldn't miss it. Blame it on us.

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Speaker 1: Phone tap right after this