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Speaker 1: My widowed mom wants her boyfriend to join the family.

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Speaker 1: Vacation fine, vacation canceled. I mean, think about it, like,

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Speaker 1: is he paying for drinks?

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Speaker 2: Is he He's.

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Speaker 1: Gotta pull his weight.

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Speaker 2: He's got to pull his weight over here. Just be

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Speaker 2: dicking down, my mom.

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Speaker 1: Bro, there's a cost. There's a cost. Come on now,

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Speaker 1: every pump I want payment, pump payment, baby.

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Speaker 2: Oh goodness.

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Speaker 1: My dad lost his one and a half year battle

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Speaker 1: with cancer one year ago April twenty second, and only

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Speaker 1: sixty two years old. He and my mom were married

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Speaker 1: for thirty one years. The few months before my dad

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Speaker 1: got sick, he and my mom were not on great

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Speaker 1: terms and we're contemplating divorce. Yikes. Guy got enough to

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Speaker 1: deal with, and that is divorce.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely.

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Speaker 1: However, through my dad's diagnosis and extreme ups and downs

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Speaker 1: of treatment, they came together, squashed some of their issues,

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Speaker 1: and my mom was there to care for my dad

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Speaker 1: every step of the way. I miss him every day.

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Speaker 1: Me and my mom had always been pretty close, but

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Speaker 1: since my dad died, I feel like I'm seeing and

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Speaker 1: talking to her less and less these days, and it

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Speaker 1: makes me sad. In August of twenty twenty two, four

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Speaker 1: months after my dad passed, my mom started seeing someone.

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Speaker 1: She'd call him her friend, slip in mentions of him

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Speaker 1: in conversation, but I personally wanted.

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Speaker 2: Nothing to do with him. Ooh, still don't.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was too soon and told her so,

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Speaker 1: four months is pretty soon, pretty soon for especially to

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Speaker 1: like introduce it. Yeah you know, yeah, four months is

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Speaker 1: pretty soon to introduce it to your kid.

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Speaker 2: Oh true?

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, like the wink wink nod, non am dating somewhere.

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Speaker 1: You know, everyone grieves differently, and dating after losing his

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Speaker 1: spouse is hard. But conversations I've attempted with this guy

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Speaker 1: and the chemistry between them has been super awkward. In

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Speaker 1: my opinion, I feel like she's disregarding any feeling are

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Speaker 1: pushed back that me and my sister an extended family

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Speaker 1: have said about this relationship. She has now started bringing

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Speaker 1: him to events and parties, and there is an awkward

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Speaker 1: vibe around when he's around. Nobody wants to say it

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Speaker 1: out loud, But this past week, he showed up unexpectedly

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Speaker 1: at our family Easter party at my parents' house. My

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Speaker 1: mom knew he was coming and did not mention it

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Speaker 1: to anyone. Following tradition. We stood in prayer before we

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Speaker 1: ate dinner, and my uncle prayed out loud for those

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Speaker 1: we have lost, and I felt so awkward that my

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Speaker 1: mom's boyfriend was there holding hands with my family as

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Speaker 1: we talked about my dad in my dad's house. Almost

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Speaker 1: only a year to the day that he died. We're

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Speaker 1: now booking fights for a large family vacation in June.

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Speaker 1: Condo has already been booked four months, and my mom

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Speaker 1: casually mentioned at Easter that she's bringing her boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Hmmmm.

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Speaker 1: I didn't hear this at the time and found out

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Speaker 1: later from a cousin. I immediately called and told her

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Speaker 1: my feelings about him going.

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Speaker 2: I don't want him, to get him out of here.

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Speaker 1: And she completely changed the subject and to not acknowledge

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Speaker 1: what I told her at all. Okay, like really quick break,

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Speaker 1: there's more to the story. Yeah, but what do you think, Like,

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Speaker 1: what do you think of the mom's reaction?

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Speaker 3: The one thing I'll give her is that like ultimately

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Speaker 3: up to her to decide, you know, how how she

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Speaker 3: wants to date and stuff.

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Speaker 2: And maybe Op is taking it.

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Speaker 1: Like he's taking it, you know, personally pretty.

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Speaker 3: Personally, but also like to like bring him on an

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Speaker 3: announced and like all these things, like.

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Speaker 1: It is a year after Yeah, I think maybe, but

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Speaker 1: I think to not acknowledge it is the issue. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like the mom needs to say, like, hey, here's the situation,

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Speaker 1: Like let's talk about it totally. To ignore is like

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Speaker 1: disrespecting op.

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Speaker 2: Yeah for sure.

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Speaker 1: Like also like Ope's emotions. Yes, agreed, what do you think?

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Speaker 1: But we're going to die back into it. But but

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Speaker 1: your thoughts in the comments below. Not to mention, We've

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Speaker 1: decided to leave a day early to save money in flights,

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Speaker 1: but now that her boyfriend is going, it will actually

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Speaker 1: cost me more because we will no longer be splitting

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Speaker 1: the costs that we originally planned since they will be

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Speaker 1: doing things separately. Money's not the problem, though, it's now

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Speaker 1: the principle to me. Of the twenty family members that

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Speaker 1: will be there on this trip, not one person really

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Speaker 1: wants him to be there except her. He will be

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Speaker 1: staying in the same condo, and we're going to have

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Speaker 1: to tiptoe around this awkward situation for the entire week

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Speaker 1: while we should be relaxing and enjoying the family time together. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's going to be subjected to some cheek clapping in

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Speaker 1: the middle of the night. Uh oh, dad, is that

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Speaker 1: you the boyfriend? And spooky noises and moaning.

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Speaker 3: I think that they should, like, if they want to go,

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Speaker 3: then they should probably get their own situation, which it

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Speaker 3: sounded like there was some sort of setup that they

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Speaker 3: were doing well.

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Speaker 1: I think they were going to split everything, but boyfriends

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Speaker 1: going like they're gonna do different things, right, and now

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Speaker 1: they're sharing like that. I guess like the boyfriend should

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Speaker 1: definitely pay for the condo for sure. Yeah, oh you

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Speaker 1: wanted to get another place? I don't know, but to

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Speaker 1: finish it off, Am I the a hole for wanting

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Speaker 1: to cancel on the family vacation and or stick to

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Speaker 1: my guns about not wanting her boyfriend to go even

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Speaker 1: though she already booked his flight.

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Speaker 3: Oh, it's kind of tough because like I I do

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Speaker 3: kind of no, no, no, it's I mean, it's not

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Speaker 3: that tough, like I think. I think the issue that

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Speaker 3: I'm running up against is that I think OPI is

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Speaker 3: again taking it like a little too personally with everything

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Speaker 3: else other than the situation. Yeah, so it's kind of

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Speaker 3: going maybe like a little bit too hard, but like

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Speaker 3: everyone doesn't want him there, and it was like last minute,

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Speaker 3: it wasn't discussed. So it's like I would be like, hey,

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Speaker 3: could would you mind just like maybe just coming but

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Speaker 3: getting your own arrangements just so we can have our

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Speaker 3: own space.

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Speaker 1: Like everyone is. If everyone's on board, yeah yeah, And

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Speaker 1: it could just be like close family, like there are

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Speaker 1: things that you don't take new boyfriends or girlfriends to,

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Speaker 1: and like it could just be close family only there.

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Speaker 2: And if everyone feels uncomfortable.

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Speaker 3: I mean, because then then it ruins it for everybody

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Speaker 3: and it's like, well, then why are we even doing this?

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Speaker 1: Like you know, I do think I think OP is

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Speaker 1: maybe you know, overreacting a little bit because like you know,

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Speaker 1: the mom, the mom is going to date at some point.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, you know, she's human. I do think her.

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Speaker 1: Uh completely ignoring OP, that is when OP brought it up,

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Speaker 1: is like exacerbating the issue. Like if you don't want

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Speaker 1: this to happen, talk about what's happening, whether like what's

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Speaker 1: your emotional state? Like one hundred do you feel for

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Speaker 1: this guy? Who is this guy?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 1: But that's what I think. I don't know what what

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Speaker 1: do y'all think? Like what would you do in this situation?

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Speaker 2: As OP? What would you do as the.

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Speaker 1: Mom too, you know, like if that happened to you. Like, also,

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Speaker 1: how long is like an appropriate grieving period before dating?

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Speaker 3: Also, how long is it before it's appropriate to bring

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Speaker 3: It's like to after grieving dating and then bringing that

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Speaker 3: person in on like family events and vacations and stuff

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Speaker 3: like that is kind of like a interesting scenario because

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Speaker 3: then it's which you shouldn't really have to consider everyone else,

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Speaker 3: but then like everyone else is also still maybe grieving.

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm thinking of, uh, like I had an uncle

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Speaker 1: that passed away a couple of years ago, and I'm

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Speaker 1: thinking if my aunt showed up to a family gathering

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Speaker 1: with someone new after a year it's been like I

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Speaker 1: think it's been like two years now, but after a

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Speaker 1: year that would have been I think everyone had been

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Speaker 1: like what.

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Speaker 3: And it's I think I feel like it's a lot

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Speaker 3: less weird, just like dating, but like yeah, bringing to

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Speaker 3: the family event.

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Speaker 1: Is like yeah, yeah, because that's like put like like

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Speaker 1: kind of it feels like you're like like you're not

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Speaker 1: doing this, but it almost feels like you're dancing on

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Speaker 1: the grave a little bit.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just just encroaching on the family space too. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's just like.

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Speaker 1: Hey, memory, it's like because it's like now it's like

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Speaker 1: like that like that memories almost, it's not being.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, like I get what you mean.

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Speaker 3: It's like, oh now it's yeah this guy, yeah, totally,

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Speaker 3: this guy whatever.

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Speaker 1: This I don't know, let us know what you think.

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Speaker 1: Put in the comments below.

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Speaker 3: Mormon parents made fifteen year old daughter sign a contract

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Speaker 3: in order to get a phone number because she got

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Speaker 3: a job.

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Speaker 1: Seems like a little bit of helicopter parenting. Yeah, whereas

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Speaker 1: they say in Mormon parenting book Parenting.

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Speaker 3: I thought it was going to be some like weird

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Speaker 3: like some analogy of like whatever the guy.

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Speaker 1: Joseph, Joseph what I forgot his name? Joseph something for

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Speaker 1: God as well? That's a smith Smith, very most white

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Speaker 1: sounding name.

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Speaker 2: Go to Joe's like the fanos of white names. All

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Speaker 2: all of.

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Speaker 3: The gems are the gems we have. Alrighty, So, super

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Speaker 3: long story short. My parents are on more of the extreme.

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Speaker 2: Side of Mormonism.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so much so that I nineteen female moved out.

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Speaker 3: The day I turned eighteen. I had members from my ward,

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Speaker 3: which is like their church, asking if siblings and I

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Speaker 3: were Okay, a few weeks ago, my sister got a

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Speaker 3: job from a company owned by Mormons and is heavily

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Speaker 3: in all caps supported by Mormons.

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Speaker 1: Okay on what the company is.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, me too.

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Speaker 3: I'm very curious my sisters then had enough reason to

196
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Speaker 3: demand a phone from my parents so she could get

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Speaker 3: the job. Fast forward today and this bullshit is happening.

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Speaker 1: I mean, also, just like it makes total sense to

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Speaker 1: get a phone one maybe earlier than fourteen. Fourteen is

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Speaker 1: fine too, but fourteen's probably good. Yeah, I think I

201
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Speaker 1: think that's when I really got my phone, maybe a

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Speaker 1: year or two younger. But you need a phone if

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Speaker 1: you're going to be working.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's that's a fair Yeah, that's a fair

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Speaker 3: thing to want.

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Speaker 1: Fine.

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Speaker 3: As a parent, I don't know exactly how it went

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Speaker 3: down Because of me being an ex Mormon, I'm not

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Speaker 3: allowed to talk to my siblings that much.

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Speaker 2: Geez. So yeah, that's a lot.

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Speaker 3: But I do know that she wasn't allowed to disagree

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Speaker 3: at all with anything or the deal was off. This

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Speaker 3: is actually pretty tame compared to what it was like

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Speaker 3: growing up. Mom threatened to have the pantry.

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Speaker 2: Padlocked the pantry, so.

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Speaker 3: I guess like, basically, you don't get any food that's

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Speaker 3: pretty insane. Wow, my sister got an infection for not

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Speaker 3: getting any medication.

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Speaker 1: Because they're like anti medication, anti as.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, at some rate, whether it's a punishment or otherwise,

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Speaker 3: it seems like they did not deliver the meds and

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Speaker 3: I was told I'd be pulled out of school and

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Speaker 3: college if I didn't conform to the religion and to

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Speaker 3: their practices. We've dealt with racism, sexism, anti VAXX, anti gay,

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Speaker 3: and so.

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Speaker 2: Much more. Dang, that's like the laundry list of oppression.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, not a fun laundry list.

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Speaker 3: Not a fun laundry list. I have a ton of

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Speaker 3: stories I can share. I just thought this one was

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Speaker 3: a good eye roll and laugh. Back to the contract.

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Speaker 3: I agree with some of the rules. I just think

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Speaker 3: it's really weird to make a whole ass contract. Side note,

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Speaker 3: not nearly as severe, but my dad used to make

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Speaker 3: like contracts for us, like I will sweep my room

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Speaker 3: on Wednesdays and Fridays and like make us sign.

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Speaker 1: My dad did the same thing. We had like contracts

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Speaker 1: that he would write up and I would have to sign,

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Speaker 1: or like I used to have to like if I

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Speaker 1: ever got in trouble I'd actually write like an essay

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Speaker 1: on why I shouldn't do it again. I remember I

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Speaker 1: accidentally like made a bomb and my sister it blew

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Speaker 1: up in my sister's hand.

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Speaker 3: And you accidentally made a bomb. Yeah, please explain.

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Speaker 1: So you know, like if you put dry ice in

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Speaker 1: a water bottle and mix it with water, it will

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Speaker 1: make the bottle explode.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, And so Christian I.

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Speaker 1: When we were like I don't know, like thirteen or

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Speaker 1: twelve or something, we put dry ice in the water

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Speaker 1: bottle and tossed it into the middle of the street

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Speaker 1: to you know, make it explode. Right. My sister comes

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Speaker 1: out at that time and she goes over and she's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, seven or something, and she goes and

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Speaker 1: she's like like we're waiting for to explode, but it's

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Speaker 1: not exploding. And Sophia's like, oh, like I'm gonna go

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Speaker 1: up and like shake it. And I'm like, Sophia, do

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Speaker 1: not go up and shake it. And she keeps walking

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Speaker 1: towards and I'm like, Sofia, stop right now. And she

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Speaker 1: gets over that picks it up, and right when she

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Speaker 1: picks it up, it explodes in her hand. Luckily, it

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Speaker 1: wasn't a glass water bottle because that shrapnel would have

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Speaker 1: not been good. Oh geez. The anyway, I had to

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Speaker 1: write a paper about why I should not make bombs

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Speaker 1: and throw it into the street.

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Speaker 3: That one's not your fault, that one's not your fault.

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Speaker 3: Did it actually like hurt her and anywhere?

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Speaker 1: It was just kind of like no, I mean, she

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Speaker 1: heard her air drama bit, but how she tells it,

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Speaker 1: which is such bs AND's she adheres to the story

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Speaker 1: to this day. Christian and I were making a bomb

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Speaker 1: in the backyard or in the front yard and we

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Speaker 1: toss it into the street, and that there was a

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Speaker 1: car coming and she needed to move the water bottle

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Speaker 1: away from the car so it wouldn't hurt the car.

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Speaker 1: And that doesn't make any sense because one it was

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Speaker 1: in the gutter like right, so like we threw it

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Speaker 1: in the street and it rolled to the gutter, not

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Speaker 1: like inside, but it was like right next to it,

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Speaker 1: right yeah, right next to the curb. And so that

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Speaker 1: doesn't make any sense. And like what you're just gonna

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Speaker 1: like where are you gonna where are you gonna put it?

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Speaker 1: Where you're gonna put this? It was it was it

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Speaker 1: was no reason for you to pick that up, even

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Speaker 1: if it was like, what, it's gonna blow up on

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Speaker 1: a car and the driver is gonna get like a

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Speaker 1: little spooked or something. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm team Sam on this one.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So anyway, I have to write an essay about that. Well,

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Speaker 1: actually Christian and I both had to write about one

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Speaker 1: of my friends. Christian, Yeah, there's my roommate. Now, we

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Speaker 1: both had to write the essay together, but Christian did

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Speaker 1: not contribute because group projects.

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Speaker 2: Saw that's right, we know about those.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I had to write the whole paper myself.

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Speaker 2: Wow, well that sucks.

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Speaker 1: Actually, I don't even know if I wrote that paper,

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Speaker 1: but I know it was a sign.

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Speaker 2: It was a sign.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if there's a due date.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe maybe you could turn it in like next

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Speaker 2: time you say.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Dad, I have something for you. I know

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Speaker 1: it's a little late by ten years.

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Speaker 3: Back to peace contract, so Opie says, I just thought

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Speaker 3: it was really weird to make a whole ass contract.

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Speaker 2: Not as weird as you think.

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Speaker 1: Now you know it happens to other people. Maybe it's

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Speaker 1: like a white people thing.

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Speaker 2: Then maybe that definitely could be, But.

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Speaker 1: Sounds that sounds like something like we would be made

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Speaker 1: fun of on like twitters, like white people have you know,

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Speaker 1: their kids signing contract getting them, getting them ready for

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Speaker 1: the work.

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Speaker 3: Did you ever drink slight side slight short side note?

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Speaker 3: Did you ever eat spaghetti with milk?

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Speaker 1: No? What?

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Speaker 3: That was another thing on a podcast that they discovered

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Speaker 3: that that white people did, which I also definitely ate

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Speaker 3: spaghetti and milk at one point, for sure?

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Speaker 1: For sure?

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Speaker 3: What did you not just eat, like drink milk at

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Speaker 3: dinner and then just one day you happen to be

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Speaker 3: served spaghetti and you had spaghetti and milk?

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Speaker 1: No? I drank milk and I have eaten spaghetti. I

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Speaker 1: was a big milk drinker. I drink and you didn't

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Speaker 1: drink milk andy spaghetti. No. Wow, I even felt weird

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Speaker 1: about putting milk and oatmeal. Really, milk is for cereal

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Speaker 1: and for drinking, all right, those are those are?

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Speaker 2: I agree? I agree it's weird, but I did it, so.

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Speaker 1: That's it good.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I guess I don't even drink, don't. I

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Speaker 3: don't know the last time I've had like straight milk,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: I only have that gay milk now.

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Speaker 2: Exactly.

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Speaker 3: So once again back to this contract, Uh, there are

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Speaker 3: things on it like I will not look up porn,

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Speaker 3: I will not receive naked photographs when I am fourteen

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Speaker 3: years old. I mean, yeah, that's I mean, you don't

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Speaker 3: want your kid doing that. But it's almost like that's

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Speaker 3: almost an age where it's like weird to like you

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Speaker 3: bringing it up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I would tell my kids not to

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Speaker 1: send or receive nudes.

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Speaker 3: Not to send. Yeah, that's fair, that's fair. The contract

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Speaker 3: maybe is the toe over there?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the toe the contract is weird. I think I

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Speaker 1: would also say, like generally, like any I think something

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Speaker 1: that I believe I hold in general is that like

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Speaker 1: you should always try to avoid cheap dopamine and so,

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Speaker 1: like cheap dopamine and in the form of like drugs

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Speaker 1: is like you know, if you're doing coke, right, getting

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Speaker 1: a dopamine high, but it's cheap, it's not like it's

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Speaker 1: not built on anything, it's not substantial there, And I

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Speaker 1: think same with porn, right, there's no there's no substance

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Speaker 1: behind the dopamine, and so you're you're you're rewarding your

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Speaker 1: brain for an action that actually doesn't like lead to

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Speaker 1: your happiness. And so I think that generally cheap dopamine

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Speaker 1: should be avoided, and so I would think I would

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Speaker 1: tell my kids, like.

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Speaker 3: From that perspective, that is a fantastic lesson. I pray

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Speaker 3: your teenager will receive that I am like cheap dope

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00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:44,440
Speaker 3: with me Like fuck you damn I'm saying, Oh, and

364
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Speaker 3: I can add friends to the phone, but they may

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Speaker 3: not be of the opposite sexual orientation, but they meant gender.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's that's dumb. Yeah, what if you're you're

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Speaker 1: working with someone who's male.

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Speaker 3: Exactly, like like, oh, like you just said, oh no,

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Speaker 3: I can't add you.

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Speaker 1: I was like, bro, but we work together. It's like

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Speaker 1: it's like those uh I don't know if you've ever

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Speaker 1: seen those text conversations where it's like, hey, how's it going,

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Speaker 1: and then the person says, I have a boyfriend, and

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Speaker 1: then they're like cool, So this is what you're gonna

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Speaker 1: be doing for the group projects.

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Speaker 3: Although I will say as someone being in a committed relationship,

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Speaker 3: sometimes when you're covering your bases, you do overstep a

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Speaker 3: little bit by.

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Speaker 1: Accident, just imagining when like John goes out of anywhere,

380
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,480
Speaker 1: as to like any girl touched I.

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Speaker 2: Have a girlfriend, yeah. Literally, they'll like that'll that'll be

382
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Speaker 2: like nine.

383
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Speaker 3: Nine, friend, I don't have to pay all right, guys,

384
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,879
Speaker 3: we will finish this story, I promise you, and they

385
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:49,240
Speaker 3: would go through the phones whenever they want, even when

386
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Speaker 3: I was almost eighteen. If she violates any of the

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Speaker 3: twenty two rules, she loses the phone.

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Speaker 1: Twenty two rules.

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Speaker 3: Twenty two rules, sir, this is a contract, my god,

390
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:03,000
Speaker 3: twenty twos, Oh my god. If you have any red lines,

391
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,280
Speaker 3: talk to my lawyer. And anytime she like messes up

392
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,159
Speaker 3: any of these twenty two rules, she loses more and

393
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Speaker 3: more phone time. If it happens a fourth time, she

394
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,119
Speaker 3: loses it permanently, and they will send her to a

395
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Speaker 3: very bad therapist. I can't imagine like a therapist that's

396
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:21,879
Speaker 3: like doing all of these like toxic things, just like you.

397
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Speaker 3: You texted a male coworker, dare you. I don't want

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Speaker 3: anyone thinking she's a bad kid. She's absolutely not. She's

399
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Speaker 3: actually very very good. She's on the straight and arrow,

400
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,920
Speaker 3: nice to everyone, and is just trying to get through

401
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,560
Speaker 3: life with our parents. Now that I've escaped my parents,

402
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,399
Speaker 3: I know they will never change, since everything has gotten

403
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 3: worse in different ways. I just want my siblings to

404
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,560
Speaker 3: be able to get through everything with as little damage

405
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Speaker 3: as possible.

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Speaker 1: I mean, Op seems like a great big sister. Definitely,

407
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 1: the contract is a bit much, yes, definitely a bit much.

408
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,120
Speaker 1: I mean some of them, you know, I think are

409
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,280
Speaker 1: good rules in general. You know, don't send her received for.

410
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Speaker 2: Sure, definitely advice that that parents should get.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, unless you unless you're starting your only fans and

412
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:08,639
Speaker 1: it's a basic Oh that's that's like the gonna be

413
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,040
Speaker 1: the new new parent there. It's like, don't send or

414
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:15,600
Speaker 1: received news unless you know you're an entrepreneur and you're

415
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,840
Speaker 1: trying to sell your body for money up above eighteen

416
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,600
Speaker 1: above eighteen yeah, right right right, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: It was so weird.

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00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:28,600
Speaker 1: Sorry, not not to clarify talking about the.

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00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:31,159
Speaker 3: Samuel daughter does not endorse your fourteen year old daughters

420
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Speaker 3: starting at only Fans No.

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Speaker 1: Eighteen