Speaker 1: Oh you're listening the mess.
Speaker 2: We have such a star on the building. We just
Speaker 2: got to start up top with him up top.
Speaker 3: Everybody your hand, clap your hands for her. Amazing.
Speaker 2: Caleb Parny, one of the stars of the movie Sweethearts
Speaker 2: on Netflix. Yes, welcome to mess man. This is it's
Speaker 2: gonna be a wild ride.
Speaker 3: I hope you're in for Marie.
Speaker 2: I'll probably go first with my mess because it's always
Speaker 2: something Apple Apple.
Speaker 3: I have a real beef. Apple is mess.
Speaker 2: I keep losing my air pods, so it's something wrong
Speaker 2: with the pods.
Speaker 3: It's not me.
Speaker 2: Last year around this time lost my whole podhouse. I
Speaker 2: had the pods, but the house was stolen the case,
Speaker 2: but I'm calling the house the pot home. And then
Speaker 2: this this year I was in an Uber the whole
Speaker 2: house falls out with the pods. The call the Uber
Speaker 2: driver he has the pods. He says, oh, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna come back. I go downstairs. I wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 2: wait wait. He never comes. Then an hour later, I
Speaker 2: see my pods are a Newer new Jersey.
Speaker 3: I said, oh he had a drop off yeah airport. Yeah,
Speaker 3: now who is going to Newer At At two pm
Speaker 3: during the.
Speaker 2: Day, somebody would have flight. That's trying to save sixteen dollars.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not from Brooklyn. Yeah, people fly out of Newark
Speaker 3: every day. I don't know why I pay.
Speaker 1: Three million dollars to fly not out of Newark? Right,
Speaker 1: I would do anything to avoid it. Right the plane,
Speaker 1: I'll fly the plane. Give me in there, I'll hand
Speaker 1: out drinks to people. Girl, that's don't get me started
Speaker 1: on what's happened with the airlines.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it's not good.
Speaker 1: What's happening to mess no one? No one wants to
Speaker 1: do customer service anymore. No one wants to do their job.
Speaker 1: It's crazy.
Speaker 3: Well have you met customers? They trash?
Speaker 4: Not me.
Speaker 1: I'm a delight and i I'm I'm not getting a
Speaker 1: lot of help from the people at the places.
Speaker 3: Now, how tall are you?
Speaker 5: Six to two?
Speaker 3: Okay, but you gotta you come up. You come in
Speaker 3: with two energy okay?
Speaker 1: Six singles? Mills are and yours could be too, if
Speaker 1: you just want to ask.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I just got an apartment.
Speaker 5: I'm in six three and a chunky as a shock
Speaker 5: the eggs.
Speaker 3: Give me a call. How tall in a dock in.
Speaker 1: A doc so depends on the dock. I got some
Speaker 1: new Doc Martins. Actually, and the other day Doc Martin
Speaker 1: sent me some shoes. Thank you, Doc Martin. I knew
Speaker 1: I was like Martin.
Speaker 5: Doc Martin keep sitting those shoes.
Speaker 1: Baby. They know because all my fans are lesbians, so
Speaker 1: they know to give me the shoes.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm a lesbian, so I deserve Doc do send Doc.
Speaker 1: I've been saying, send you some shoes, but I was
Speaker 1: trying to put them on and then the moots with
Speaker 1: no zipp or anything. I'm pulled a muscle in my
Speaker 1: arm because it was so hard. Well, they're not as cute,
Speaker 1: but they're easier, I know, but I rather than be cute.
Speaker 1: Yeah either, they're the straight on pull up and they're big.
Speaker 3: Look at this. I got these because the ribbons, the
Speaker 3: laces are ribbons. They don't stay tied. You see it
Speaker 3: above the orchid. Yeah, after the interior design, it's in there. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and there's no zipper. Shout out Doc Martin's Yeah for real,
Speaker 3: thank you for sending me these depths.
Speaker 5: Shout out.
Speaker 3: I need.
Speaker 1: You free.
Speaker 3: Yes, now that's beautiful. We gotta get to watch it
Speaker 3: because I also want some platform Tims. What's my camera?
Speaker 3: Timberland this will be you. Tim hit him up, Hey Timberland, Yes,
Speaker 3: if you're looking for a mean girl on the go.
Speaker 1: Now, that's the real secret about both of you is
Speaker 1: you guys are actually sweethearts.
Speaker 2: I don't right most of the time we were hard,
Speaker 2: but people push you to the limits. I think that's
Speaker 2: what it is. I think behind every person who used
Speaker 2: to be nice is a whole bunch of people who
Speaker 2: made them a terrible person. What's that quote like this
Speaker 2: is it good girl gone bad? Once a good girl
Speaker 2: gone bad, She's gone. I believe a poet named jay
Speaker 2: Z said that.
Speaker 1: No, it's like behind every syne because of disappointed ideals.
Speaker 1: And I have seen I see when your sweetness gets
Speaker 1: turned on its head. I said. We went to meet
Speaker 1: you and Lisa, Me and Lisa the other night over
Speaker 1: the cake. Yes, y'all were arguing over the cave.
Speaker 3: Well because of Lisa. You know what a Lisa tragger.
Speaker 2: We love her down, but when she just wants to
Speaker 2: say something, she'll say to you no matter how what
Speaker 2: it sounds like.
Speaker 3: And then I'll be like, did you just hear what
Speaker 3: you just said to me? I forgot, but I was like,
Speaker 3: we was about to fight it was about across the table.
Speaker 1: I'm sitting with these two. They're having a full on
Speaker 1: argument over the cake, and.
Speaker 5: I'm just watching.
Speaker 3: What was the cake fight?
Speaker 2: H can't I can't remember. But that's the thing is
Speaker 2: is that I don't hold a grudge. Yeah, I'm fully like,
Speaker 2: once it happens, I let it go.
Speaker 3: We did we go for? And then I moved on? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: And it really does. It cracks me up to watch.
Speaker 3: I like Lisa asking people questions, uh, inappropriately? Yeah. I
Speaker 3: saw her do it last night and I clept Lisa
Speaker 3: what she last night?
Speaker 1: What she did?
Speaker 3: I was with her. We were at New York Comedy
Speaker 3: Club and Marcelo was there. He walks in. She goes,
Speaker 3: can I ask you an inappropriate question? And I was like, my.
Speaker 2: Starphone down, scarf off? Yeah, I threw my AirPod across
Speaker 2: the bar. Can I ask you an inappropriate question? She
Speaker 2: was like, did you hook up with Sabrina? What's your face?
Speaker 1: It's the story is that he hoky.
Speaker 5: I was like, tell her that, and by the way,
Speaker 5: you can cut this if you need to.
Speaker 1: What did he say?
Speaker 3: He said no, and I said you said no too fast? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Why would he tell her? Runs?
Speaker 2: Her mouth for a living that the person you want
Speaker 2: to tell. Oh my god, wait, but I wanted to
Speaker 2: tell my next part of my mouth. My air pods
Speaker 2: are gone, right then my friend lets me borrow hers.
Speaker 3: Then these break? No, yes, now I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't tell you if these are the like, if
Speaker 2: she really got them from Apple, or if they you know,
Speaker 2: from the bodega.
Speaker 3: But broken. Look at that you sat on them.
Speaker 5: You did that? No, literally, in my show me show
Speaker 5: me those Yeah, these are not from Apple.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is this is something else.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna tell you right now. These are not from Apple.
Speaker 1: Can we can we zoom in on? How not from Apple?
Speaker 5: These are?
Speaker 3: Wait, so they don't look like they're from Apple.
Speaker 5: Baby this this that's like skull candy.
Speaker 3: That's a discount from She got those from Dollar Tree.
Speaker 3: I think you think okay, were Amazon. At least it's not.
Speaker 2: You know what, when it connects, it says beats X.
Speaker 2: So maybe you're right, Maybe you.
Speaker 1: If those are beats on a unicorn, I'm telling you
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 3: So that's my man. Well, now I don't have anything.
Speaker 2: Now I have to listen to the sounds of tragedy
Speaker 2: in New York City and I'm going off the rails
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 3: What tragedy you said?
Speaker 2: New York is a mecca for all those and the
Speaker 2: truth comes out back. My memory is bad when something
Speaker 2: like and the truth coming Give me my broken beats
Speaker 2: beats X gift for you?
Speaker 5: Do you want me to get you a nice pir headphones.
Speaker 3: Is not the stuff for the house. It ain't the
Speaker 3: speaker for the house.
Speaker 1: Okay, but I'm not mad at it.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be mad.
Speaker 2: I actually need headphones in the house because I don't
Speaker 2: want to listen to anything that's going on outside of
Speaker 2: the bill.
Speaker 3: Sydney, that's so crazy because you never use headphones in
Speaker 3: the streets. You know. You know what that's mess?
Speaker 2: Marie, Yo, you really you're supposed to be by my side,
Speaker 2: you know what it is? I think I took a
Speaker 2: little picture, a little tincture right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's coming off. It's coming off. What is
Speaker 3: your mess for the week? Can we get into that?
Speaker 2: What is my mess for the Week't think about thinking
Speaker 2: about everybody else's mess?
Speaker 3: Well, I think I have a lot of mess. I
Speaker 3: don't know what I can and comfortably share. I don't know, girl,
Speaker 3: it's hot share now, So let me do my d
Speaker 3: MS later so I can tell you what it is
Speaker 3: it's going on. Oh, I'm salivating, boy, oh man, the
Speaker 3: boys is mine. I was talking a few weeks ago.
Speaker 3: I unblocked two of my exes recently, right, and the
Speaker 3: results are they are not there. What's in? What's what's
Speaker 3: in with the results? Okay boom, So this is what's
Speaker 3: going on. So I'm talking to both right, because separately
Speaker 3: they don't give what I need them to give, but
Speaker 3: together they give one happy, healthy man. Yes, both six ' three. Yes.
Speaker 3: If he was wondering for the height.
Speaker 1: And I was, and I love it. And be careful,
Speaker 1: by the way, because you're inching towards accidentally making a
Speaker 1: case for Polly, and that's.
Speaker 3: Not she's leaning into that. I'm tired, tired, tired, I'm
Speaker 3: so tired.
Speaker 2: All I know is that we came to the conclusion
Speaker 2: that Marie is Polly now, and this is a this
Speaker 2: is maybe I'm answering my Polly era.
Speaker 1: Well, I ended my feud with the buy community. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm done. I'm done feuding with the buy community.
Speaker 3: Why were with them?
Speaker 1: I've grown I love I wasn't I frankly never was
Speaker 1: I love the by community. I love y'all keep it
Speaker 1: up and so now, but now I've.
Speaker 3: Tuned my sights on the Polly he's throwing into me.
Speaker 3: I'm not the parties. I'm trying to be a polypopy.
Speaker 3: Oh ye, Polly is just like aren't you?
Speaker 5: Are you greedy? You're greedy?
Speaker 3: It's not greedy, it's greedy.
Speaker 2: I think if you date men, you have to be
Speaker 2: Polly because one can't do all the things you need
Speaker 2: them to do.
Speaker 5: One I'm gonna make one of them do it. I
Speaker 5: can't do, Paul, I want to.
Speaker 3: Build a bear. I'm like a little bit of it
Speaker 3: is a little bit of that. I guess I'm Frankenstein
Speaker 3: and a man? What is Okay?
Speaker 1: Tell me this.
Speaker 5: You've got Guy one and guy too? What does Guy
Speaker 5: one do?
Speaker 1: What can he not do?
Speaker 5: And same for the other one, like what is it?
Speaker 3: Is?
Speaker 1: One of them just bock you really good? And the
Speaker 1: other one's like nice multiple okay.
Speaker 3: Now, Caleb, how you just taken over? Now? You the
Speaker 3: host question? I mean I want to know is that
Speaker 3: the truth? Basically? Okay, this is my problem essentially.
Speaker 1: This is my brother Paul, though, I'm like, why not
Speaker 1: just be open? Because Open and Paul are different.
Speaker 3: Okay, so what's the different?
Speaker 2: Wait, let's explain, because what Holly is when you have
Speaker 2: multiple relationships?
Speaker 3: Yes, Open is just like we're not we're not together.
Speaker 5: We have a relationship and I'm seeing other people.
Speaker 3: We're seeing other people.
Speaker 5: That beautiful. Open is beautiful.
Speaker 3: So what's Polly? Polly is a mental illness and sitting down.
Speaker 1: The corporations and the cigarette companies are frankly involve than implicated.
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 1: So I believe Polly to carry on multiple relationships is like,
Speaker 1: why don't you get a job?
Speaker 3: Lot of job?
Speaker 5: Don't sponsors?
Speaker 3: Holly? You have a lot of time and you've got
Speaker 3: to have a lot of money. Because how is you?
Speaker 2: How are you keeping up with all these people emotionally,
Speaker 2: atually anything?
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something.
Speaker 3: Well, you're not probably yet.
Speaker 1: We're just you're dipping the toes.
Speaker 3: We're on the table, the table. I know a lot
Speaker 3: of poll people, Okay, okay, what they look like.
Speaker 5: As a career. I don't want to.
Speaker 3: Talk to talk about what they want. They live in Bushwick.
Speaker 3: I will say that.
Speaker 1: I will say that people live in I will say
Speaker 1: they live in Bushwick, and they live in Portland, Oregon.
Speaker 1: And the haircuts are whatever they're going to be. But
Speaker 1: the point is, I know a lot of people and
Speaker 1: you're saying they must have money. No they don't. No,
Speaker 1: they don't.
Speaker 5: They're broke and they're.
Speaker 3: Still multiple we're doing. That might be the title. Well listen,
Speaker 3: that's not episode. That's not what's happening here, you know what.
Speaker 3: I know that.
Speaker 5: But I had a lesbian friend who went probably just
Speaker 5: to split the rent.
Speaker 1: That was genius.
Speaker 3: But that's everybody in New York that doesn't have anything
Speaker 3: to do with anybody's sexuality. That's just living in New York. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's people in New York that won't get divorced or
Speaker 3: break up with somebody because they don't want they can't afford.
Speaker 1: To do that. Maybe, yeah, I'll be homeless before I
Speaker 1: hang out with someone I don't want to be around.
Speaker 3: No, I feel like I need a home. You say
Speaker 3: that on camera.
Speaker 5: I'll not to be mad well as a lessive No, No.
Speaker 2: As a lesbian that has been housed many times through relationships. Hey,
Speaker 2: if the person you want to be with also has
Speaker 2: an extra bedroom, I say go for it.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, Well, here's what I'll tell you
Speaker 1: the Caleb here and guarantee is if I'm around you,
Speaker 1: trust that I want to be around you, because I'll
Speaker 1: do anything to not be around people I don't want
Speaker 1: to be.
Speaker 3: Around now that I would go to the ends of
Speaker 3: the earth.
Speaker 2: And I think that's an issue with like people in
Speaker 2: these open relationships. And also sometimes they just don't like
Speaker 2: the people, but they only need a little bit of them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, that's it's on the table. Like them both
Speaker 3: a little bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know both of them right now? Is that
Speaker 1: what's going on?
Speaker 3: Oh? Well, this is the mess. This is why I
Speaker 3: put this up right. So I have a dresser that
Speaker 3: I'm trying to get rid of. Marie is insane.
Speaker 2: Person person number person number A wanted to pick it up,
Speaker 2: but person number B or letter two whatever, same difference.
Speaker 3: He was like, Okay, I come get it today, but
Speaker 3: B is gonna be at my house today. And I
Speaker 3: almost said yes, so B could help A carry it
Speaker 3: down the stage. She's insane.
Speaker 2: And I was like, sister, I don't want you to
Speaker 2: get murdered for the way, because I am so inspired.
Speaker 3: You're inspired.
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. You know what I'll tell you something, do
Speaker 1: not enable Announcedent was visiting from l A. I waited
Speaker 1: a week to get furniture delivered until he was in
Speaker 1: town so he could carry it in. He came over
Speaker 1: to watch a football game. I said, this furniture is
Speaker 1: arriving right when you're here for me. I actually I said,
Speaker 1: do you mind? He was making fun of me. He said,
Speaker 1: I said, do you mind helping me with it? And
Speaker 1: then he just did it and he was like, where
Speaker 1: was the help in that? And I was like, brother,
Speaker 1: you said I held the door up. You're getting paid,
Speaker 1: are you not?
Speaker 3: You said, where was the help? He said, you are
Speaker 3: the help?
Speaker 5: Having two men? Yeah, I'm turned into an evil like cartoon.
Speaker 1: You having two men that you're sleeping with move your
Speaker 1: furniture out for you is so beautiful. I'm inspired and moved.
Speaker 3: Well. I didn't say yes, I should have. You can
Speaker 3: come a different day, but honestly, the day today would
Speaker 3: be ideal. It would have been ideal. But Marie, you
Speaker 3: the thing is, this is the thing about straight man.
Speaker 3: They are unpredictable and one minute you think it until
Speaker 3: one of them pull up, pop pop pa. I don't
Speaker 3: I don't need that. I'm not absolutely not. So we
Speaker 3: need to take to the script and make sure Tiddy,
Speaker 3: which one of them would pop pap pop? Oh, you
Speaker 3: already know which one it is. You already know. I'm
Speaker 3: I'm not saying the nationality of that person, but they
Speaker 3: are known.
Speaker 1: You've said a lot of lesbian things around me, but
Speaker 1: this was one of the mers thing you've ever seen.
Speaker 5: Beful with men, they'll shoot you.
Speaker 3: It's like, okay, yeah, that's gonna say killed, but you
Speaker 3: shoot me. Yeah, maybe it'll be a Donald Trump.
Speaker 5: No, like yeah, staged.
Speaker 3: Or stunt and that's you know that. I'm not a CEO.
Speaker 3: Why first of all, why would they shoot me and
Speaker 3: not shoot each other?
Speaker 2: CEO a mess? Because that's how straight men work. No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: they love me, they hate each other.
Speaker 3: One would die. Whoever lives wins. Girl, this rom com
Speaker 3: that you got going on for two b I guess
Speaker 3: I'll tune in. I guess this ty, I'll take it
Speaker 3: the name of the movie. Facebook market place.
Speaker 5: Facebook Marketplace.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm so glad I'm not attracted to women, because
Speaker 1: in any gender situation, both either of you would ruin
Speaker 1: my life. And I can feel that what I can
Speaker 1: feel I would be so I can see you why
Speaker 1: these men are coming around. I would be so into you.
Speaker 1: I could just feel you would have that power over me,
Speaker 1: either one of you Marie.
Speaker 2: Because Marie is not available, like she's she's putting up
Speaker 2: a little bit of a guard.
Speaker 3: I'm too too available, say d.
Speaker 2: Thirsty, like tranparent, like I'm telling everything, I'm doing whatever
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 3: You're like, yeah, I know too much. That's not hot.
Speaker 3: But Marie, she's gonna keep it mysterious. You don't. You
Speaker 3: don't know if she she want to be with you
Speaker 3: or she hates you. You don't know. Yeah, so is
Speaker 3: it serving you?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 3: Serving me? Is that serving you? Work? To watch your
Speaker 3: mouth because you're you're giving hopes.
Speaker 5: No worries.
Speaker 1: I was just checking in, but I can absolutely the
Speaker 1: answer is yes, Okay, you're you're happy with the situation.
Speaker 3: You like that. You guys, when it doesn't work, it's
Speaker 3: not stopping me from doing anything else. I'm talking about
Speaker 3: therapist about it, Lydia said, as long as you're still
Speaker 3: out here living your best life and meeting people and great,
Speaker 3: because these are two people that I could not make
Speaker 3: it work with in the past, but I was dating
Speaker 3: each of them separately together I'm like, I could do
Speaker 3: this because what you're not doing this one will yes,
Speaker 3: and what you're not saying this one will like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd like to get in the room with Lydia.
Speaker 1: I'd like to get you know me too.
Speaker 3: I want to be on the zoom. Dude.
Speaker 1: If you therapize my friends every once a month, everybody
Speaker 1: who's a therapist to someone I love should they should
Speaker 1: be required by law to have a session called Caleb's
Speaker 1: coming in and I'm telling my side of stuff because
Speaker 1: I'm tired of the miscommunication and the oh well, Rebecca said,
Speaker 1: I want to talk to.
Speaker 3: Her now, who is your person? Who is your Lydia?
Speaker 3: I don't have a therapist, Okay, and that's the prop strength.
Speaker 3: You see that, this is strength, inner strength.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't need a therapist. What's Lydia going to
Speaker 1: tell me about me?
Speaker 3: Yeah? You know what, you don't know until you talk
Speaker 3: to Lydia. Lyda. If Lydia is like, yeah, tell both
Speaker 3: your men up to pull up at the same time,
Speaker 3: she didn't say that. I don't even know that, right,
Speaker 3: You're going to hurt and you're thinking that. So it's like,
Speaker 3: you know, I see Lydia every other week. You don't know.
Speaker 3: That's what she'll know about this girl to new back
Speaker 3: to back to back weeks. No, no, yeah, I'm delivered.
Speaker 2: You're just coming here because you want to. You don't
Speaker 2: need to be right. Yeah, went on vacation for two weeks.
Speaker 3: I haven't even seen her.
Speaker 1: There's nothing scarier than a friend who was in therapy
Speaker 1: long enough to learn the language, but not long enough
Speaker 1: to do the work, because then they have the words
Speaker 1: and they can justify what they're doing, and then I'm
Speaker 1: in the mess. I don't want anything to.
Speaker 2: Do with it.
Speaker 3: That's when you're talking about that week that all straight
Speaker 3: men learned the phrase gaslighting.
Speaker 1: Gaslighting was one of the worst things that happened to
Speaker 1: the straight male community. They learned that word and they
Speaker 1: went haywire.
Speaker 3: They lost their minds. Shes like, so what you're saying
Speaker 3: is I'm a liar. It's like, man, get out of here.
Speaker 3: We already knew you were a liar. They like textbook
Speaker 3: gaslight and they'd be like, so you're saying that I'm
Speaker 3: gaslighting you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm glad I'm out of my straight
Speaker 1: guy's era.
Speaker 3: That was interesting thing in my early twenties, but I'm
Speaker 3: done with that.
Speaker 1: I've moved on from them we deserve.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm out of there.
Speaker 3: It was fun, but you're better than that mess. No good, Well,
Speaker 3: I'm not better than that good.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're in it.
Speaker 3: I am collecting them like sandos. You hear me. I
Speaker 3: next year you're gonna se me. You gonna be like,
Speaker 3: who is this entourage that Marie is always with? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that.
Speaker 3: Listen longest nobody gets crazy or violent? I'm here what Yeah,
Speaker 3: the man you're insane?
Speaker 1: One man who's done something bad. One man name, one
Speaker 1: man who's done something bad.
Speaker 3: You can't, are you right? Absolutely? I'm driving back. I'm drying.
Speaker 3: I'm like, did he like that? Crazy? He's a name? Okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: name to men.
Speaker 2: On the shopping block right now is jay Z. But
Speaker 2: j they Sidney top three worst men of all.
Speaker 1: You know what made me off though? What they put
Speaker 1: out one allegation about jay Z. He put on that
Speaker 1: suit and went to that premiere with his daughter.
Speaker 3: He said, not talking about me, he said, he said.
Speaker 5: He said, I'm with my family.
Speaker 2: That was quick, Please respect my privacy and difficult love, he.
Speaker 3: Said, Thoughts and prayers to your allegations. Baby.
Speaker 1: Him and Blake Lively's pr teams both are working over time.
Speaker 1: They're working overtime right now.
Speaker 2: Every time I see that, I'm like this, Well, I
Speaker 2: don't want to be a celebrity because this is just
Speaker 2: it's too much.
Speaker 1: Should we catch a camera?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, get her out of there? This one is
Speaker 3: gonna below.
Speaker 5: I'd be careful.
Speaker 2: Now, Caleb, we brought you in here today to talk about,
Speaker 2: you know, your topic of mess now, which what are you?
Speaker 3: What are we answering today?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 3: What is messy?
Speaker 1: It's hard to because there's a lot of things that
Speaker 1: are messy, and you guys know me, I'm observant.
Speaker 5: I'm a fair guy.
Speaker 1: I call it like it is.
Speaker 2: You say fair, I'm a fair, lowercase fair, down the middle, lower.
Speaker 1: Capital, Okay, okay, worries, no worries, no worries. But I'm
Speaker 1: looking at everything. I'm giving an honest evaluation of things.
Speaker 1: And what I really decided to land on that's messy
Speaker 1: is drumroll please. Mom's on social specifically Mom's on Facebook,
Speaker 1: the one of the messiest. If you talk about a
Speaker 1: site for messiness. Moms on social are doing some of
Speaker 1: the most unhinged in every direction, unhinged in every single way,
Speaker 1: starting drama sharing, political conspiracy theories that are based in
Speaker 1: absolutely nothing, like truly, they'll get tricked by anything they
Speaker 1: shouldn't be on social or there's another type of unhinged
Speaker 1: that my mom has been doing lately on social.
Speaker 2: You said, moms on social you mean specifically your mom.
Speaker 2: That's what you're puking there.
Speaker 3: Dreaming, babe.
Speaker 1: I'm keeping up with other moms on social as well,
Speaker 1: because you know my mom loves me. Yes, my mom
Speaker 1: loves my mom Magnet moms love this guy.
Speaker 3: Moms are like, make sure Caleb is going. Yeah, definitely, it's.
Speaker 1: Been a long time in the works. Moms love me.
Speaker 3: I can't. I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't find a mom that doesn't want to be
Speaker 1: around me. They love me, so I know a lot
Speaker 1: of them on social.
Speaker 3: She sounds like a challenge.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's not a I'm telling all the listeners right now.
Speaker 5: Your mom would love me.
Speaker 3: Try me.
Speaker 1: Every mom loves me, There's no way around it. Conservative mom, mom.
Speaker 3: I'm got a little judging mom. I feel like my
Speaker 3: mom's mom.
Speaker 1: She would invite me out with her after the first meeting.
Speaker 1: I guarantee it.
Speaker 3: You might have to put this to the test. Friend Marie,
Speaker 3: she pops off from the curtain.
Speaker 1: She would love me, but I'm so I'm keeping up
Speaker 1: with them on social My mom is doing this thing
Speaker 1: lately where she'll send me something like really like manipulatively sentimental.
Speaker 1: Like she'll send me something and she's trying to be sweet,
Speaker 1: but it'll be like a TikTok that's just text and
Speaker 1: like a moving ocean in the background with music, has
Speaker 1: twelve likes.
Speaker 5: I don't know how she found twelve likes.
Speaker 3: I don't know how she found it. She's mom on
Speaker 3: Terney that's a mom ass posts Another mom posted that
Speaker 3: got twelve likes your mom's.
Speaker 1: And then my mom saw and the text will be
Speaker 1: like your children will never know how much your heart
Speaker 1: breaks every moment that you're away from them. All you
Speaker 1: can do is hope that they somehow understand.
Speaker 5: Nine am on a Tuesday.
Speaker 3: Now, I think that's the white mom equivalent to what
Speaker 3: the black moms do on WhatsApp, which is send us
Speaker 3: a Bible verse with like a glittery and you feel
Speaker 3: like God doesn't need to be this good At at seven.
Speaker 1: A Yeah, who's doing the marketing for godsp Okay, well
Speaker 1: I will.
Speaker 3: I will say the moms.
Speaker 2: You know, not too much on moms because it's they're
Speaker 2: selfless and they gave us their whole bodies for these kids.
Speaker 2: A lot of them don't like kids. People don't like them,
Speaker 2: like their kids don't like them, people don't like them.
Speaker 2: On planes with babies so like they.
Speaker 3: Go through a lot. So you're saying the moms, people
Speaker 3: are like, they don't like moms.
Speaker 5: I don't on the plane.
Speaker 1: What I do not think moms are selfless?
Speaker 3: Well, I just I think that people forget that our
Speaker 3: parents are just people who have kids. Like being a
Speaker 3: mom or being a dad doesn't make you better or smarter.
Speaker 3: Some of us have friends who have children and they're
Speaker 3: pretty dumb.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Them.
Speaker 3: We have so many friends that Marie is a wild
Speaker 3: for that. That's all whoa hold on them. I didn't
Speaker 3: say we have friends with kids individually. We all know
Speaker 3: people with children. Yeah, they're literally every.
Speaker 5: My mom is selfless.
Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, hold on, go ahead, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: Put it in it. You were thinking of somebody specific
Speaker 3: when I said it, and you try to I was
Speaker 3: not thinking about anything. I know that moms do so much.
Speaker 2: Yes, sometimes, when you think about it, people have kids
Speaker 2: for the wrong reasons. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: what was the right reasons? The right reason is because
Speaker 2: you're like, I want to extend human life. That's gonna
Speaker 2: surpass me. And I want them to have their own
Speaker 2: autonomy and live their own lives and my dreams have
Speaker 2: nothing to do with them.
Speaker 3: Who says that when they have a baby. I think
Speaker 3: people should be saying more. People said that. I hate that.
Speaker 3: People were like, I didn't live my life. No, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna live it through. Don't do it. Stop it. It hurts.
Speaker 3: It hurts.
Speaker 2: We don't want to see it. You would see that
Speaker 2: like this little kid playing the viola. That kid don't
Speaker 2: give a fuck about the viola. But the mom is like, well,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 3: I broke my hand when I was twelve, and so
Speaker 3: I was apo.
Speaker 2: I was supposed to be a championship and now right,
Speaker 2: a couple of viola's in here tonight.
Speaker 1: There's one mom the city's like, she's not dumb, she
Speaker 1: just couldn't play.
Speaker 3: All these moms just want their kids to play the vio.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's just but that's what it is and
Speaker 2: it's it's like, it's frustrating to see. And luckily, you know,
Speaker 2: my mom had me and by accident, she wasn't really
Speaker 2: thinking nothing else of like she was like, so she
Speaker 2: wasn't pushing things on me so much besides Christianity, school
Speaker 2: and working.
Speaker 3: And being you know, that's just the basics.
Speaker 1: How much of that took, by the way, because I
Speaker 1: know I'm looking at a lesbian, but what about Christian?
Speaker 1: Did you?
Speaker 5: Is Christian for you?
Speaker 3: Well? Yes, but.
Speaker 5: Because I'm just wondering how much of that.
Speaker 3: There she.
Speaker 1: Lost because I'm looking at a lesbian and I'm wondering
Speaker 1: if I'm looking at a Christian.
Speaker 3: I am a Christian?
Speaker 1: Nice, Okay, she won one.
Speaker 3: I'm Christian by faith. It's crazy a good title. Christian
Speaker 3: by yeah anything, Hey, hey, take it whatever you wanted
Speaker 3: to make. That means you. I'm not I don't know
Speaker 3: if I'm a practicing Christian. But my favorite you know
Speaker 3: you're not a practice I don't know. You don't know.
Speaker 3: You are Christian by life?
Speaker 2: No, Christian life also another great Christians. I know I
Speaker 2: look on Christian No, I had an edible.
Speaker 1: We were doing eddies before this.
Speaker 3: I'm sober. You a little little dropper, not now, no,
Speaker 3: not on camp.
Speaker 5: But I wish I knew before I came over here.
Speaker 3: I mean, the fact that you didn't be I a
Speaker 3: weed is crazy.
Speaker 5: Christian in theory, some Christian theory.
Speaker 1: It's Christian for you Christian? Are you Christian?
Speaker 3: I was a rixed Christian.
Speaker 1: I'd love to see you both in heaven.
Speaker 3: You know what we love to see here? Ye also
Speaker 3: a great Caleb you are over time?
Speaker 1: Do you know what's sick about me? This is really
Speaker 1: sick about me. I'm not Christian necessarily. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm vibing. I'm like there's some price something, but I'm
Speaker 1: not really worried about it.
Speaker 3: I'm cool.
Speaker 2: I went to Sunday school and vacation. I had all
Speaker 2: the fish sandwiches.
Speaker 4: Every Yeah, five hundred people with tourist.
Speaker 3: But what about.
Speaker 5: What's sick about me?
Speaker 1: This is it? Okay, I'm not a practicing Christian. The
Speaker 1: metric is, but I really believe this. If I go
Speaker 1: my okay, so well, okay, Christianity turns out to be
Speaker 1: real right sure looking bad for me if that's the case. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And then I get to the Pearly Gates and God's like,
Speaker 1: you weren't Christian while you were down there, and I
Speaker 1: really really wanted you to be my What's so fucked
Speaker 1: up about me is I genuinely think if I get
Speaker 1: that conversation, if I get that meeting with God, I
Speaker 1: think I can ca mince him.
Speaker 3: I think you can too.
Speaker 1: I think you're very I know I wasn't Christian, but
Speaker 1: I was doing good ship down there. I was having
Speaker 1: a good time. I did not hurt anybody. I was
Speaker 1: fucking around. I was doing my thing.
Speaker 3: You're gonna say, fucking around at the pearly gates.
Speaker 1: I think he's gonna respect it, Like he doesn't want
Speaker 1: me to come in like sanitize and kissing ass like
Speaker 1: I think he wants me to be real.
Speaker 3: Kiss as he wants me to be real gay for you.
Speaker 3: So he probably, yeah, he doesn't.
Speaker 5: Want me to doing that kind of stuff. He wants
Speaker 5: me to clean it up.
Speaker 2: But what people don't understand is that by the time
Speaker 2: like when we you know, knock go on, would you know,
Speaker 2: we you know, we don't have really want to, but
Speaker 2: by the time we do pass I think there's been
Speaker 2: different iterations of God and so God by the time
Speaker 2: when we when we passed, he will have elevated and
Speaker 2: when we die, we'll be up there and he'll do
Speaker 2: like a little game show.
Speaker 3: So like we'll have to even though he's like on paper,
Speaker 3: you're supposed to be in hell. But I'm gonna give you,
Speaker 3: you know, one more Lordy, Lordy, give me one more chance. Lordy, lordy,
Speaker 3: give me one more chance. Come along your chance. This
Speaker 3: iteration of God is wearing our Jesus peace his dead son,
Speaker 3: and he will be wearing Doc Martin with no zim
Speaker 3: yours is.
Speaker 1: Not sounding Christian to me, Like we get there, it's
Speaker 1: a game show.
Speaker 5: I'm like, well, when I was.
Speaker 3: When I was younger, my brother told me, and I
Speaker 3: believed him, when you die, and you know, I don't
Speaker 3: know how he would notice, but when you die, God
Speaker 3: sits next to you and you watch like the movie
Speaker 3: of your life, and every time you do something, he says,
Speaker 3: well why did you do that?
Speaker 1: Classic Christian plastic Christian classic movie club with God? Idea?
Speaker 3: But imagine that's what happens when you die, because your
Speaker 3: time is nothing for him.
Speaker 1: I could justify everything I've done.
Speaker 3: But from from when you were a little practice, every
Speaker 3: one of them from when you were born to when
Speaker 3: you die. He's like, okay, so have you ever stolen anything?
Speaker 1: I turn it back? Yes, and I would turn it
Speaker 1: back on him. I would.
Speaker 5: I'm sitting with God, Okay.
Speaker 3: I have a reflection of you, Lord, you malee, and
Speaker 3: you put me in Yes, and maybe the lamp. They
Speaker 3: made me poor.
Speaker 5: You made me poor. First of all. I grew up
Speaker 5: so poor.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I could just favything. I would say
Speaker 1: with him, and you.
Speaker 5: Go, you go, why do you do that?
Speaker 1: And I'd be like, what would you have done?
Speaker 3: What would Jesus do?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: What would you Jesus? Because you were mad at people
Speaker 3: all through elementary school? Yeah, what would Jesus do?
Speaker 1: Happen that contentious with him?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: If God asked me, why would you do that? Why
Speaker 2: did you do that? In certain time? I was like, well,
Speaker 2: from twenty three to thirty I was on cocaine.
Speaker 3: That's why I did it. Yeah. And you know what
Speaker 3: they say, the higher you are, the closer to God,
Speaker 3: right man. I was just trying to you, my Lord.
Speaker 3: All God's people say, Amen, I think I could convince.
Speaker 3: I don't really do. I think it's crazy. But I
Speaker 3: also don't see myself dying. You don't see yourself dying. No,
Speaker 3: Like I think about that as a contract is from
Speaker 3: you are white. Now, now this is at first I
Speaker 3: was white to think you might not die? Yes, why
Speaker 3: did I be like wrong in my world going to jail.
Speaker 3: I'm never gonna do that's wrong.
Speaker 1: You can come as this. Actually, since y'all brought up
Speaker 1: my whiteness, where would y'all put me on the on
Speaker 1: the So you got like the worst white person ever
Speaker 1: got Hitler? Right?
Speaker 3: Oh, I was gonna say Christopher Columbus. Okay, Idea Columbus
Speaker 3: is worse than I mean, he did dia. It was.
Speaker 1: It was, yeah, it was.
Speaker 2: It was neck and neck if anything. Okay, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: Well who is your white person? Yeah that's the worst,
Speaker 2: the worst, the worst.
Speaker 3: Yeah, damn, that's the you know what, you gotta have
Speaker 3: this at the tip of your I don't be thinking
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 1: You have to think about it because a white person.
Speaker 3: It was my manager when I worked at.
Speaker 1: Hitler and meant like the best possible whites, right, gotta
Speaker 1: be like Dolly Parton, who are some other good whites
Speaker 1: like class like best into that scale white like really good.
Speaker 3: Jane Elliott I don't know who that is.
Speaker 1: Jane Elliott, the Blue Eyes Brown Eyes Experiment, you know
Speaker 1: her that was white lady that was really really down.
Speaker 3: Is she gay? I mean, oh good, that's something like
Speaker 3: that without having some type of game.
Speaker 1: Oh Jane, I had no idea she was family good white.
Speaker 3: Wasn't she at the stone work? Was she picked? I
Speaker 3: don't think Jane Elliott's old ass.
Speaker 1: Was it Stonewall picked up the big she was doing
Speaker 1: the blue I feel like I don't think she was
Speaker 1: in the neighborhood.
Speaker 2: But my question is this, Okay, wait, hold on, I
Speaker 2: think my good white is maybe Angelina Jolie.
Speaker 5: Really no, that's.
Speaker 3: Care about all the.
Speaker 2: She's a Philly and anthrorisk girl. Philip Yaharm, How do
Speaker 2: you say it?
Speaker 3: Philanthropy, hilanthromist.
Speaker 1: You don't count philanthropists.
Speaker 2: I mean I feel like people do that because they
Speaker 2: are like, hey, I've done a lot of bullshit and this.
Speaker 3: Is how I yeah, this is how I clear it right. Well,
Speaker 3: I'm trying to, you know, I want to look good
Speaker 3: on my movie with God. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So she's like, yes, I took Jennifer Anderson's man, there
Speaker 2: you go. Now I gotta work for all of the
Speaker 2: continent of Africa and Asia and Asia too.
Speaker 3: So yeah, but also I don't care about Jennifer. I
Speaker 3: understand like that's not she did missus mister and missus Smith.
Speaker 3: The chemistry was real probable. So I would also bang
Speaker 3: Brad Pitt if I wasn't if I was inje.
Speaker 5: If you get the opportunity, many woes.
Speaker 2: Well not now I heard he don't really bathe every
Speaker 2: day he wanted them. Really, that's another white thing, y'all. Me,
Speaker 2: I'll hate water.
Speaker 1: Leave me out of it because I'm not one of them.
Speaker 3: Leave me out of it.
Speaker 5: Don't put me in it because I'm showering.
Speaker 3: Listen a scale from Ashton, Kutcher and Milacunis to Brad Pitt.
Speaker 3: Where do you you know?
Speaker 1: I met Ashton, Kutcher and Melacunas this past summer. What
Speaker 1: did they smell like a play in London? And I
Speaker 1: don't remember the way they smelled, but we met after
Speaker 1: the play and they I'm I'm gonna air y'all out
Speaker 1: a little bit and just say that you have.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: I haven't talked about this anywhere.
Speaker 3: To be a little segment airing it out exclusive.
Speaker 1: I'm airing it out a little bit. They smelled lovely.
Speaker 1: They were perfectly nice, Mila and Ashton. But they they
Speaker 1: were both sobbing at the play. And the play was
Speaker 1: about it was a little bit about men's rights and.
Speaker 3: The camera leave them on, leave them on, leave them on,
Speaker 3: and you can hear me what is men's rights?
Speaker 5: Well, men are being deeply mistreated.
Speaker 1: In this country.
Speaker 5: I don't feel that way.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 5: I don't care about men, but.
Speaker 1: In a loose way. I'm strong on him, but I'm
Speaker 1: loose on I'll the rest of that. But I think
Speaker 1: I'm not entering a d into the conversation. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean, It'll him, It'll be no the play.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about me now, okay?
Speaker 5: But hee him? What's going on with boys?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: What is going on with our boys?
Speaker 3: What is going on?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 5: James Corden was in a play in London.
Speaker 1: Then that's what made He played a veteran who had
Speaker 1: his kids taken away because he went off on a
Speaker 1: woman at a courthouse. Look, James James Cordon hell of
Speaker 1: a theater actor. He did an incredible performance. Was the
Speaker 1: writing of was the material and the men's rights angle
Speaker 1: for me? No? But James is amazing in it and
Speaker 1: Mela and Ashton were crying backstage.
Speaker 5: Is that beautiful?
Speaker 3: That makes me like them? Listen? Yeah, that was at
Speaker 3: the point of that story.
Speaker 1: Well, I just wanted to say something.
Speaker 3: Out.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think it was one that you were in London
Speaker 3: and you was at you was walked in a play.
Speaker 5: It's not to be in London.
Speaker 3: It's not.
Speaker 1: My fans there are beautiful.
Speaker 3: We love London.
Speaker 5: I love my fans.
Speaker 2: They do.
Speaker 1: We've all done well in London.
Speaker 3: Shout out to London.
Speaker 5: Yeah, shout out to London.
Speaker 3: Stop you tell them exactly? Yeah, yes, right. And when
Speaker 3: we were in Marrakesh, we we went to Noble and
Speaker 3: we finally hold on.
Speaker 1: I accused of flexing because I said, I went to
Speaker 1: play in London America.
Speaker 2: America, when when you're a black woman, that is self care.
Speaker 3: That's not flexing. Part of the journey, thank you.
Speaker 1: I was coming from a bad place.
Speaker 3: All check yourself yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But Americas finally ran into uh, some you know, young
Speaker 2: black men, and we sat down, we were kiki and
Speaker 2: having a good time and I mentioned that I date
Speaker 2: women and the guy who was from Manchester, he was like,
Speaker 2: so you're by Paula and we were like, you mean
Speaker 2: need him and me and and Mina were like, wells.
Speaker 1: You were like, yeah, the way you got to the
Speaker 1: answer wasn't correct, but the answer was there was something
Speaker 1: that we got your work.
Speaker 5: You guys are trying to avoid my question.
Speaker 3: What was the question?
Speaker 5: Well? And and isn't that telling? Okay, let's hold on,
Speaker 5: y'all have a question and.
Speaker 3: We've named our worst y'all.
Speaker 1: But the point of that question, thank you so much,
Speaker 1: my love, was where would y'all put me on a
Speaker 1: scale of worst whites ever to best whites ever?
Speaker 3: Well, let me check my outven moos, if you ever
Speaker 3: sent me all money? What do you need? No?
Speaker 2: Not that I need more time than you, Caleb, I
Speaker 2: needed I need more time. I need you know me
Speaker 2: for a while, I know I have, But ten years.
Speaker 3: That's how you really know somebody. Ten years, I think.
Speaker 2: I think between two and five people are showing you
Speaker 2: what they want you to see them, But ten you're
Speaker 2: going to see all through.
Speaker 3: You're going to see right through them.
Speaker 2: By the tenth year, they're exhausted from pretending to be,
Speaker 2: you know, what you want them to be.
Speaker 3: By the tenth year, they are revealing the mask. So
Speaker 3: this is the real you now? Yes, absolutely, Marie. We've
Speaker 3: been we've been together for a lot, more like, we've
Speaker 3: been very honest the entire Yes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just want to be clear about what's being
Speaker 1: said to me right now by a very good friend
Speaker 1: of mine.
Speaker 3: I just want to make sure I'm understanding you. What you.
Speaker 1: You think that there's at least a somewhat of a possibility, yes,
Speaker 1: that in all the time that we've been dear friends,
Speaker 1: now I am maybe putting on and lying and I
Speaker 1: could come out that I'm actually bad.
Speaker 3: Here's a mess exclusive a person that I near it out.
Speaker 3: I knew, you know.
Speaker 2: I thought like, oh I know this, and this is
Speaker 2: what happens every time I'm cool with a straight man.
Speaker 2: Every time I like, I'll be like, yeah, not them,
Speaker 2: and then eight years, ten years, something comes up.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, now they got an allegation or instance this.
Speaker 5: Can I tell you something about me?
Speaker 3: I can't stand by y'all every straight man you're cool
Speaker 3: with not an allegation. No, no, no, no, I never
Speaker 3: said that you need to change the certain.
Speaker 5: Yeah, can I tell you something about me?
Speaker 3: And I didn't say that.
Speaker 1: Now we're talking about me though, So I'm I have
Speaker 1: what's okay, mess exclusive, I'm gonna air it out.
Speaker 3: It out.
Speaker 5: I am a homosexual man.
Speaker 3: Oh so you're we not even thinking about it? A
Speaker 3: great men again?
Speaker 1: Oh but I thought you're about me because you said
Speaker 1: you couldn't get me, you couldn't put me on the
Speaker 1: spectrum because you haven't known me for long enough.
Speaker 3: Well, I just need some more time. I think I
Speaker 3: got to come down to the Kansas City House.
Speaker 1: Okay, you need to.
Speaker 3: Get it, okay, okay, And what do you need to
Speaker 3: see there? You know when you watch like any reality
Speaker 3: show and they do the backstory of the person's like I.
Speaker 2: Just I've always wanted to be a singer. So you
Speaker 2: know this is my teacher, from my music teacher from
Speaker 2: I want to I need to meet you.
Speaker 1: Need to meet some of my teachers.
Speaker 3: So we need to do it like a star is born.
Speaker 3: Okay I didn't I don't know you didn't watch them now, so.
Speaker 1: Y'all aren't gonna okay, we'll place me on the scale
Speaker 1: once you so okay. So so I'm make sure I
Speaker 1: want to know where how I can get there. I
Speaker 1: need to take you to Kansas City.
Speaker 3: You got to be flut out, blown out.
Speaker 1: Yeah that listen, I'll get there, okay, Okay, I'll get there,
Speaker 1: and then I'm happy to fly you out.
Speaker 3: Okay and stop going. You know, he got tons of points.
Speaker 1: I've done it. I've done it for less. I've done
Speaker 1: it for people that meant less to me, and I
Speaker 1: want to you mean to me, and then for you.
Speaker 1: It's gonna have to be a decade. How long have
Speaker 1: I known you now? Five or five years?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay, so I got to put in about double of
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you're I.
Speaker 2: Think you're doing great. You've almost reached your Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: you're there, buddy, for you cooled in five year?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Okay, best best best? Would you say your best white?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: My best white? Who did my best white? I'm gonna
Speaker 2: say Kelly Ripper? Why Kelly, Well, I know why you're
Speaker 2: about the best story or or you know Jim Carrey.
Speaker 2: Jim Carrey might be my really it is controversial, but
Speaker 2: for me, for me, my best white, I'm gonna say that,
Speaker 2: and everyone gets thrown.
Speaker 3: And everybody gets it, can it did? They don't have
Speaker 3: to be the best for everyone, just for your individual
Speaker 3: best white? Yea yeah, you're a ranking worst white. That's
Speaker 3: the title of y Yeah.
Speaker 5: Different.
Speaker 2: Kelly Ripper came in from a gala. She had like
Speaker 2: about seven friends with her. She's in a gown with
Speaker 2: her husband. They're hanging getting drinks, taking care whatever. She
Speaker 2: the bill wasn't even that high. She overtipped me, like
Speaker 2: five six hundred dollars best.
Speaker 1: White for me, good white.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's a good dollars. That's all you need. You
Speaker 3: too can be the best.
Speaker 1: Yeah, felt comfort plus for you, and then five hundred
Speaker 1: dollars for you on morning.
Speaker 2: Another another best wife for me, Lizzie Grubman. She did
Speaker 2: who hit all those people? And she said, y'all white trash?
Speaker 2: And I said, say that.
Speaker 5: That you made this person off?
Speaker 3: No, I did not. She she's like a publicist that
Speaker 3: like icon years ago. She hit a bunch of yes, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: she hit a work Let me tell the rest of
Speaker 3: the story. She hit your manager from refram. I imagine, yo.
Speaker 2: If she did, I would have married her. I would
Speaker 2: be like, hey, girl, I know you know I gave,
Speaker 2: but let's link up. I had a scholarship in college.
Speaker 2: One semester I failed, so I lost my scholarship and
Speaker 2: wonder Lizzy Grubman paid for me to go back to school.
Speaker 3: How did you know, Lizzie g I was interning for
Speaker 3: her at at her PR company. Okay, yeah, this is
Speaker 3: before after the accident. This is after the accident. Well,
Speaker 3: she was like, let me just and you know what
Speaker 3: that sounds like? That sounds like something Angelina. She paid
Speaker 3: for all them kids, something Angelina Joee would do. Is
Speaker 3: also a good title. I kind of like that. I
Speaker 3: kind of what Angelina Joe. Yeah, and she let her
Speaker 3: little black daughter go to Spelman where the black girls
Speaker 3: should go. She's doing great.
Speaker 2: You know, she's not my best wife, Lizzy girl. She
Speaker 2: didn't give you five hundred dollars. Okay, but Lizzie Grubman
Speaker 2: paid for a whole semester. So that was, you know,
Speaker 2: sixteen thoush sixteen.
Speaker 3: Well, what's going on with Lizzy now? Where she at?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 5: You're not saying the wheel.
Speaker 2: I think everybody should be allowed to hit a few
Speaker 2: people in the Hamptons and still walk right because a
Speaker 2: lot of.
Speaker 3: A lot of bad have a funny sentence because the
Speaker 3: people they hit can't walk. You saw that, and you
Speaker 3: see how we worked so hard here yeah, let's talk
Speaker 3: about Facebook. But we forgot about that. But we're here.
Speaker 3: We was really going in. Yeah, you took us there,
Speaker 3: and we have to know.
Speaker 5: I just like to know that you guys brought up whiteness.
Speaker 5: I'm interested in it, and I wanted to know where
Speaker 5: I fall.
Speaker 3: I always that's funny.
Speaker 1: I'm interested in whiteness.
Speaker 3: And you see that you bought it right back, just
Speaker 3: like a white man.
Speaker 1: Just like a white man.
Speaker 3: So you can't be the best. Somewhere, somewhere to the bottom.
Speaker 1: I'm in the Christopher Columbus here more than John Booth
Speaker 1: somewhere did something cool but probably had some bad ideas
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, somewhere between John Booth and like Louis k Okay,
Speaker 2: Louis just pulled his p out.
Speaker 3: He wasn't that bad, but then somebody pulled their dick out.
Speaker 3: You won't look.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's counting on it.
Speaker 3: No, No, like.
Speaker 2: Like somebody out on the train ones. Yeah, I'm looking
Speaker 2: everywhere else. I'm acting like it's there. You know what
Speaker 2: we've established, Sidney, You somebody pulled that.
Speaker 3: They got No, I'm finding everywhere else. I'm like Sydney,
Speaker 3: that you are going live on that train you know
Speaker 3: I don't have no service back.
Speaker 5: That's so he's not going to see the dick she's
Speaker 5: trying to put the headphones back.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know what Sydney needs for the house work,
Speaker 2: and she needs that like glasses, kids with the room
Speaker 2: for air.
Speaker 3: With literally just and it would just be the string
Speaker 3: hot yeah. Tailor. Back to the moms on the internet,
Speaker 3: I feel like you have more examples mess of them. Well,
Speaker 3: like we're how long have you and your mother been
Speaker 3: friends on socials?
Speaker 1: Long time? Me and my mom are very close. I
Speaker 1: do have a selfless mom. My mom is great. My
Speaker 1: mom can get away with anything.
Speaker 5: She can send me any memes she on she can do.
Speaker 1: My mom is the best. She raised my brother and
Speaker 1: I by herself, single mom, while working three jobs and
Speaker 1: putting herself through college.
Speaker 3: You know who works too, kids and steps.
Speaker 1: My mom and I love her and so she can
Speaker 1: do whatever she wants on Facebook. But I will say
Speaker 1: I've been on Facebook in years and years, but when
Speaker 1: I was on back in the day, these moms are
Speaker 1: on there speaking of mess exclusive, airing each other out.
Speaker 3: They're airing each other out.
Speaker 1: They're literally geting on Facebook's adest and be like to
Speaker 1: whoever told my daughter down to the school today that
Speaker 1: she couldn't wear a tube top. I told her she
Speaker 1: could wear it next time, call me. And then they're
Speaker 1: in the comments being like she's too young for a
Speaker 1: tube you know, like they're really like going in over there,
Speaker 1: and I love and respect it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that generation uses social media differently
Speaker 2: than everybody else. Yeah, because there is full sentences they
Speaker 2: use this Senmi Collin's.
Speaker 3: It's like girl, we use the word us.
Speaker 2: It's a it's seymour that you're gonna have to and
Speaker 2: then you're gonna see the rest of the paracraft aarographs
Speaker 2: roll out and they're giving they're giving full on college dissertation.
Speaker 3: They're they're indenting, they're tabbing in.
Speaker 1: I'm worried that my mom is addicted to the attention
Speaker 1: because she after I did a podcast episode with her
Speaker 1: and people really liked that. Oh she's getting stopped on
Speaker 1: the street for pictures, people love it.
Speaker 3: Shut up.
Speaker 1: But now she's created a profile on every platform that
Speaker 1: she didn't have one to go and comment on stuff,
Speaker 1: Like she created a YouTube account just to comment on
Speaker 1: the video and be like, thank y'all for the love
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of my son, and she's loving the likes.
Speaker 1: I can feel it, I can feel it changing it.
Speaker 3: She worked hard for she made you.
Speaker 1: She didn't.
Speaker 3: She worked hard for that.
Speaker 1: She did. She worked hard for me, and then I
Speaker 1: worked hard for the likes. She kind of into the
Speaker 1: yes mom, the and the likes.
Speaker 3: She wants to do at the shows, which you on
Speaker 3: stage doing.
Speaker 1: At the show. She's at the sh show. She's getting
Speaker 1: real drunk at the shows. That's my girl.
Speaker 3: I think mom's on the internet, like my mom. My
Speaker 3: mom was on the.
Speaker 2: Internet, and she was the type to like give bad
Speaker 2: news in the comments, like you're posting of you in
Speaker 2: your Halloween costume and she's like, oh my god, Uncle
Speaker 2: sugar Doo died.
Speaker 3: Stop like that Sugardo died. Was he diabetic? I don't
Speaker 3: know his name, but that was just that was his nickname.
Speaker 3: I don't know. That's not like he lost the foot, No,
Speaker 3: it's not.
Speaker 2: He had all his limbs, but they called him uncle Sugardo.
Speaker 2: He lived in Little Rock, Arkansas. That feels like a
Speaker 2: name that pairs well with a place, and Little Rock,
Speaker 2: Arkansas has multiple sugar Do.
Speaker 3: Sugar Doo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he had his refrigerator locked up, chain, chain and lock.
Speaker 2: We could not just go in there and just get
Speaker 2: a nice cold pop. He was like, you're gonna have
Speaker 2: to get that key because I'm tired.
Speaker 3: Of you kids running in and out.
Speaker 5: And he's real, because kids do running in and out.
Speaker 3: He said, you're not drinking on my Oh, they grabbed
Speaker 3: too much.
Speaker 1: From the fridge. My little cousins come over to my
Speaker 1: house in King City and they try to do all
Speaker 1: kinds of crazy shit. They try to eat a popsicle
Speaker 1: on my couch. I said, the couch is more important
Speaker 1: to me than you are. Get off the couch with
Speaker 1: the popsicle.
Speaker 3: What color is the couch.
Speaker 5: The couch is a.
Speaker 1: Light gray and the popsicle is a dark purple. These
Speaker 1: boys are not responsible. They're eating popcorn in the bed.
Speaker 1: I can't believe it. Who raised them? Well, they're being
Speaker 1: raised very progressive. Sounds like my uncle are very progressive. Okay,
Speaker 1: I rethought hitting kids. I've been so anti hitting kids,
Speaker 1: and then sometimes they're at my house and I go,
Speaker 1: I understand it.
Speaker 3: You're anti hitting kids. Maybe don't hit them, but shake
Speaker 3: them a little, never hit them.
Speaker 1: Well, you can't shake them either, because their brains are fragile.
Speaker 1: Maybe shake a kid.
Speaker 3: The kids are not what they used to be. They're indestructible.
Speaker 1: No, I want to talk to you off mic. I
Speaker 1: want to talk to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, you need to talk to on Mike. I
Speaker 3: mean we've been, haven't.
Speaker 2: We've had some some controversial takes here, and they let
Speaker 2: us know in the reviews that they weren't.
Speaker 3: They weren't happy about something said.
Speaker 1: It's so annoyed, you know, I know. And it's also like,
Speaker 1: you know what I don't like Now everyone keeps a
Speaker 1: record the same thing with me. I'll say things and
Speaker 1: people will be like actually, and I'm like, shut up,
Speaker 1: you can there's this whole record now, and everyone expects
Speaker 1: you to be flawless.
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I just want to say sometimes I'm feeling something and
Speaker 1: the vibe is more important than the veracity.
Speaker 2: You know. I just want to let everybody know I'm
Speaker 2: a comedian first. Yeah, I'm saying no, no, no.
Speaker 3: No no, you're a Christian first, Christian faith Christian.
Speaker 1: I'm a comedian in faith first and foremost. Find me
Speaker 1: down at the being a comedian in faith. I have
Speaker 1: a question for you too. Yes, it's been on my mind.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about it on my way over here. Okay,
Speaker 1: the show is called Messy.
Speaker 3: Your two that's mess that you came here. Didn't know
Speaker 3: the title.
Speaker 1: Mess and messy. It's one letter.
Speaker 3: Give me that.
Speaker 2: Messy means that it is, you know in the guise
Speaker 2: of mess. Yeah, mess is mess Like, yeah, mess is marriad.
Speaker 3: This is what I'm not sure where she's arguing, but.
Speaker 1: No, this is a mariment. I need to Yeah, I
Speaker 1: need to check.
Speaker 3: Out your good sister's side. Whatever I say, you'd be like, yep, yeah,
Speaker 3: because you've said multiple things today that I was like, well,
Speaker 3: you're you're edible is defensive, That's what it is. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and you know what, I would do it again. But
Speaker 3: bag glad, she's a woman. I want to do what
Speaker 3: I wanted to be today, you know, and I want
Speaker 3: to be hum that. I want to be my love Doug.
Speaker 3: But science whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm looking for lip bomb.
Speaker 1: What's the question that you're well, your guys dynamic just
Speaker 1: now really leads into the question, which is I want
Speaker 1: to know genuinely and don't please don't lie to.
Speaker 5: Me because I have a barometer for it and I'm
Speaker 5: not feeling it.
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear the truth the liars, first
Speaker 3: liars in second christ by faith.
Speaker 1: I'm a Christian by faith. I want to know in
Speaker 1: y'all's long story, beautiful friendship, Yeah, what is the biggest
Speaker 1: mess that you two have had between the two of you?
Speaker 1: Got your ass?
Speaker 3: I'm thinking, got your ass? So me and City don't
Speaker 3: really have mess.
Speaker 1: Don't lie to me. See this is what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: You're gonna tell me in your whole friendship, we don't.
Speaker 3: Have a mess.
Speaker 5: That's not what Sydney's eyes are telling me. Sydney, Okay, Well, the.
Speaker 2: Only mess that we had was when we when we
Speaker 2: wanted your birthday trip for Americash.
Speaker 3: That was the only mess. Uh, what happened? Our friend,
Speaker 3: our friend of ours had planned a lot of the stuff,
Speaker 3: and there was because I'm not a planner. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: it's not birthday trip, but I don't want to plan.
Speaker 3: And it was no breaks. It was no breaks, and
Speaker 3: you know, I'm a nap. I need a nap. I'm
Speaker 3: a sleepy ass whole.
Speaker 2: And so you know I didn't travel, you know, eighteen
Speaker 2: hours to go somewhere and then be like fee five
Speaker 2: four FuMB and we're running rip zips up. But it
Speaker 2: was also her birthday, so I was like me, wants
Speaker 2: to run around as well.
Speaker 5: Yeh, what was.
Speaker 3: The itinerary was stacked? It was stacked. Scale send you
Speaker 3: a Google doc trip. Actually I should say I gotta
Speaker 3: I gotta cancel, like yeah, but you know what the
Speaker 3: real mess is here. Sid had the itinerary weeks before
Speaker 3: the trip, never checked it, and then we get on
Speaker 3: the trip. That being said, I also didn't really check it.
Speaker 3: We get there and it was like, oh, this is
Speaker 3: a park, this is a this is a where were
Speaker 3: we garden the gardens and it was like tour guys,
Speaker 3: biographic ass tour. No, it be fine, but it was
Speaker 3: like we've been friends for you. We've never had a
Speaker 3: nine terran. We go with the flow. We vibes only
Speaker 3: go somewhere. I'm not touching. We touched down. We know somebody,
Speaker 3: We post hey, we hear, We get twenty texts, hey
Speaker 3: come here it. We get in free. We ain't worried
Speaker 3: about I'm not hearing any mess.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So what I'm trying to say to you is we
Speaker 3: haven't really you know, there was a mess. We was
Speaker 3: in a desert. Baby, we drove ten eleven hours to
Speaker 3: the desert, and I said, oh this my well go
Speaker 3: to Morocco and doesn't go to the Sahara Desert. I
Speaker 3: didn't know that.
Speaker 4: So what I didn't know that we was driving in
Speaker 4: a little It was in the itinerary in a little
Speaker 4: ass was seven of the Google doc you need to
Speaker 4: tap in.
Speaker 1: So where's the mess? Y'all?
Speaker 5: Gotten to fight?
Speaker 3: The two of you?
Speaker 1: I cried, sorry because because of something between the two.
Speaker 5: But she didn't make the itinerary.
Speaker 2: So also I didn't know that. I was like, you
Speaker 2: would plan something like this. Was like, girl, you know
Speaker 2: I didn't plan nothing.
Speaker 3: I was like, all right, cool, cool, Well we was.
Speaker 2: We was in tents and it was the tense where
Speaker 2: like it was all three of us and there's a
Speaker 2: little veil. You could hear, you could smell somebody pooping, ping,
Speaker 2: showering that I could see.
Speaker 3: I could see your uterus. Like it was a lot.
Speaker 3: But that's how it made us closer, actually made it.
Speaker 3: To answer your question, there hasn't really been no mess
Speaker 3: between us, y'all just put on a master cross in lying.
Speaker 3: Telling lying, Sydney is telling you a story about a
Speaker 3: girl's trip where uh, somebody cried, that's what girls trips are. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't go on if you don't. If you First
Speaker 3: of all, we went on a ten day with Max.
Speaker 3: Too many Dan days. That's there. No like girls that much,
Speaker 3: including Listbi.
Speaker 1: I don't do trips with girls anymore.
Speaker 5: Oh, I'm off it.
Speaker 1: I love women, all loved women, yes, but trips with
Speaker 1: women you have to be built. Even as a game man,
Speaker 1: you have to be built.
Speaker 3: Murray, I can't ride my Marie. You giving up element.
Speaker 1: The last ten minutes of Marie first of all, baked
Speaker 1: out of her mind.
Speaker 3: Just let me just take everything out of the clawing
Speaker 3: through the purse, apple headphone.
Speaker 5: Just going, just going.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Marks was crazy face masks, this is.
Speaker 5: Nuts, this is nuts.
Speaker 3: And he just gave it to eye under eye.
Speaker 1: Think for anyone that's just listening and not watching. I'm
Speaker 1: coming to you live from the recording mill. They brought
Speaker 1: me to Times Square, These girls brought me to Times
Speaker 1: Square to go through their purse and ignore me.
Speaker 3: No, I would, I would never, Caleb, I've been locked
Speaker 3: in with They put me.
Speaker 1: In the Christopher Columbus Tier of Whites, and then they
Speaker 1: started going through their bags and now they're sharing products
Speaker 1: and tips.
Speaker 3: I'm been mistreated, but I love.
Speaker 2: That you asked this question because when people ask about
Speaker 2: me and I'm like, yo, the reason why we have
Speaker 2: not made it.
Speaker 3: To the top is because we put our friendship first. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you can give you a stuff on each other a
Speaker 3: little bit.
Speaker 2: I'd rather have no money, you know, podcasts just doing okay,
Speaker 2: then like us, you know, have a million dollar deal
Speaker 2: and then.
Speaker 3: Hate each other million dollars and this will be our
Speaker 3: last episode. Yeah yeah, all right, let me head out.
Speaker 3: Here we go, here we go. Everything. I took out
Speaker 3: the person.
Speaker 2: But you know, you know some people who link up
Speaker 2: and start doing you know, work together and like collaborating
Speaker 2: and then be duos whatever, and they literally hate each
Speaker 2: other just together because they're making money.
Speaker 3: And I said, I rather not make money and be
Speaker 3: with my No, I'm saying that is listening.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you ever have true friendship, then the bag
Speaker 2: I wasn't a friend.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't by the way, by the way, yeah not me.
Speaker 1: I'm different, but God bless I love that.
Speaker 5: God bless. I would sell either one of you out
Speaker 5: for for a two hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: And that's why you in the Columbus cheer of what.
Speaker 1: No, I'm kidding, y'all know I'm kidding.
Speaker 3: Oh, here's my good wife.
Speaker 1: I would do anything to hear my name right now.
Speaker 1: I would do anything name right now. God, if you
Speaker 1: can hear me, put my name on Marie's heart, God,
Speaker 1: if you can hear me.
Speaker 3: Okay, I just want you to know, this has been
Speaker 3: the messiest episode we've had. That's my goal.
Speaker 5: That's my goal.
Speaker 3: The purse.
Speaker 5: The purse was unacceptable.
Speaker 3: That's in the running tour was unacceptable.
Speaker 1: The purse was a stone too fall. The purse was
Speaker 1: in front to me, in front of God. The purse
Speaker 1: was not right.
Speaker 2: When I watched a movie of my life with the
Speaker 2: Lord and he says, why you pull your purse out?
Speaker 3: And yeah, goode stuff buying lips were dry and he said, okay,
Speaker 3: well now you now, now you get one more.
Speaker 5: That's gonna go.
Speaker 1: I say, you the best white to do your podcast?
Speaker 1: And you started going through your purse. He's gonna cry.
Speaker 3: I need. I need everybody in this room right now,
Speaker 3: that's that's watching us before this, to think of their
Speaker 3: best white. And I'm gonna ask y'all at the end
Speaker 3: of the episode.
Speaker 1: I think mine is Dolly Parton, but I don't want
Speaker 1: to make it all about that. It just kind of
Speaker 1: came back to that organically.
Speaker 3: Never showed her man. Yeah, okay, she keeps him put away, hiding.
Speaker 2: He's in hiding. She's always had very large breast. But
Speaker 2: she doesn't ask like. She doesn't act like a like
Speaker 2: a triple titty, you know, I mean not triple titty.
Speaker 2: She doesn't act like a triple dye lady. You know
Speaker 2: she Actually it seems very demure.
Speaker 5: She's a double age.
Speaker 3: Actually, yes, she's a double if I knew that as
Speaker 3: somebody who doesn't care about women so much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, ladies, When did I say I don't care
Speaker 1: about women?
Speaker 3: You said women and girls, strips and y'all and with girls.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's crazy the things y'all can get bent
Speaker 1: out of shape about. Excuse me, wow, Garden, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: You agree?
Speaker 3: I agree? Because that was the tears in the desert.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all of a sudden, someone's crying in the living room.
Speaker 1: Like I just feel like if we're going to sit
Speaker 1: at the pool, like everyone should be notified. It's like,
Speaker 1: come out to the pool, bitch, Like, what is going on?
Speaker 3: First? Of all. Marie was no, no, no, Marie will
Speaker 3: not even notify it because she's on edibals, just on mushrooms,
Speaker 3: chilling like most of.
Speaker 2: The desert and doesn't do shrooms. So your sober best
Speaker 2: friend ten days off you celebrate. Yeah, you know what
Speaker 2: saying it like that. It doesn't sound like see where
Speaker 2: I messed up. It's not like ten days on because
Speaker 2: you invited me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you invited me that. No, no, no no, because
Speaker 3: that's what I was crying about, and that. I was like,
Speaker 3: you don't even need me here? Well am I here?
Speaker 5: Yeah? And she was like, no, what you were crying to?
Speaker 3: I hate tell me if you were crying, hold on
Speaker 3: because because Sydney is the only person who can make
Speaker 3: me cry my own tears. Yeah, and you know, I'm
Speaker 3: good for a good cry, like at least once a year.
Speaker 3: And it happened in America, And it happened in America.
Speaker 3: This is twice.
Speaker 2: The other time you cried was into but you cried
Speaker 2: because you were on mushrooms and you were having a
Speaker 2: good time.
Speaker 3: The mushrooms is a is throughout. Yeah, it's the theme
Speaker 3: of everything. You know. I like to feel good on
Speaker 3: my birthday, but the whole day to feel like I
Speaker 3: just floated through it and maybe I fell off a camel.
Speaker 3: And yeah, my friend cried in a tent while our
Speaker 3: friend was pooping next.
Speaker 1: To me, crying my own tears in Marrakesh. Yeah, another memoir,
Speaker 1: beautiful Tears in Marrakesh.
Speaker 3: I also was having a like a schmid life crisis
Speaker 3: while we were in mary A, Marrakesh. I was having
Speaker 3: a schmid life crisis. And I was just like, I'm old,
Speaker 3: I can't hang. I need a nap, Like I'm not fun,
Speaker 3: I'm sober. She was cranky.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Also, we was in a car for eleven hours Marine
Speaker 3: and then Marie and she's like, girl, you on me.
Speaker 3: It's like girl, this off. I'm like, okay, okay, are you.
Speaker 1: Hold on you?
Speaker 3: I am a person of good posture, right, and I
Speaker 3: like my personal space. We all have at least one friend.
Speaker 3: They like to lean on you. They lean on me,
Speaker 3: like Sidney is very much a leaner. Sidney's a put
Speaker 3: my feet under your but like you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 3: Like Sydney is a she's lying. Also, she's lying. I'm
Speaker 3: killing the truth. The seats in the car were like this,
Speaker 3: and it's four of us on in the aisle. Girl
Speaker 3: was like, I'm not sitting in the middle. I'm not.
Speaker 3: She refused birth. So I'm in the middle seat and
Speaker 3: we're doing this and my knee touch you. That's not
Speaker 3: what happened. That's not hold on, that's not what happened.
Speaker 5: Can I also just.
Speaker 1: Call out before you go off to you being like,
Speaker 1: we've never really had mesks cuts.
Speaker 3: Both in the sah get it right. There's two types
Speaker 3: of people in the world. You're sitting in a car,
Speaker 3: we turn a corner, you lean obviously, that's how gravity works.
Speaker 2: You lean in and then you pick up, or you
Speaker 2: lean in after the turn and you just stay there.
Speaker 2: Sidney is a staate there. I cannot sit a state.
Speaker 2: Marie isn't very much. My space is my space and
Speaker 2: I need everybody. Marie would be like, this is my
Speaker 2: space and it's a lot of space.
Speaker 3: She got all the space. It's how is it a
Speaker 3: lot of space? She's a tiny girl, but the space
Speaker 3: is wide, tiny girl, big spaceople big world.
Speaker 5: People in this world. Dolly Parton and Sydney's manager.
Speaker 3: Three types of people in the world. Dolly Parton, Sydney's
Speaker 3: manager Lizzy Grubman shout out to you where you at?
Speaker 3: I don't even know where we are at with time.
Speaker 2: Fabulous, Wait we have we need to read a message
Speaker 2: message you know, we'll roll you out because I feel
Speaker 2: like we got so much.
Speaker 3: We really you really gave, girl, we are giving. I
Speaker 3: hope these microphones are on, because if not, y'all missed
Speaker 3: a hell of an episode.
Speaker 1: I would well, by the way I've done that, I've
Speaker 1: done a two hour, two or four so on someone's
Speaker 1: podcast and at the end looked over to the producer
Speaker 1: and be like, it's well, normally the lights like episode,
Speaker 1: my Joe Rogan episode is gonna come out.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3: I would never that is crazy.
Speaker 1: He wouldn't have me on. He's scared.
Speaker 3: Wait, you would do Joe Rogan, Joe Rogan.
Speaker 1: I would go on Joe Rogan and change that young
Speaker 1: man's life.
Speaker 3: You young I would like to see that. Actually, it's
Speaker 3: kind of old old.
Speaker 1: It was kind of funny to call me on. I thought, yeah,
Speaker 1: I would have he would be a he would be
Speaker 1: a Burnie supporter by the end.
Speaker 3: You know what's mess agism? I'm about tie to everybody's
Speaker 3: old really, and the thing is. It's like if I
Speaker 3: was in your situation, Wait what your wife? Okay, Luigi, you're.
Speaker 2: Getting up assassinating me right now, and.
Speaker 3: You know you're Americans three hearts, so you're not going
Speaker 3: to jail for that.
Speaker 5: You're saying that you're against ageism.
Speaker 1: Is like when Chick fil A has those cows holding
Speaker 1: the sign that say eat more chickens.
Speaker 3: Can we add Luigi to the list of whites? Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: you're gonna put him go to bed? Where are you putting?
Speaker 1: Good?
Speaker 3: Until I learned that he got captured out of McDonald's,
Speaker 3: and then it's like, baby, my number one thing we
Speaker 3: should have gone, here's Olive Garden. That's why I think
Speaker 3: it's not really him was not the move.
Speaker 1: If he did kill that man, and I don't free him.
Speaker 1: I don't think he did. But if he did kill
Speaker 1: that man, Altuna was not the move. Altuna Pennsylvania was
Speaker 1: not the escape.
Speaker 3: But to have the gun with you, yeah, have like
Speaker 3: a letter that's like I didn't why would you.
Speaker 1: Here's what I'm going to say about the Luigi thing
Speaker 1: to that CEO, that man who had a wife and kids, right,
Speaker 1: and a guy who was a normal guy. They better
Speaker 1: his family. Better hope that I don't it on the
Speaker 1: jury because Luigi is going home.
Speaker 5: I'm sending him home.
Speaker 3: Now, and I just want to say, this is how
Speaker 3: un serious America.
Speaker 1: He'll be having meat balls with Nana by Sunday night.
Speaker 1: I'm sending him home. Well, hold on, he's going home.
Speaker 1: He's going home. Brother, I don't care. I'm a little
Speaker 1: interested in what he did.
Speaker 3: Luigi the white O J. Simpson of this generation. He
Speaker 3: might be no, but I'm just saying, like, in terms
Speaker 3: of like a trial that will capture the nation, it's
Speaker 3: definitely gonna be. Yeah. Yeah, brothers.
Speaker 5: Yeah that was yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah's interesting when they was buying all that stuff.
Speaker 1: Their parents, Yeah, their parents.
Speaker 3: Oh how was that agent? Because I don't identify as
Speaker 3: a Menendez brother trial fan.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what, we got some mess we'll read
Speaker 2: some we do messages here. We were supposed to do
Speaker 2: messy and just living. But I feel like the whole episode, Bro,
Speaker 2: there's no supposed to this is mess.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it felt like mess. Okay, yeah, here we go,
Speaker 3: you already Yeah, tapped in walked in the title. My
Speaker 3: friends like him, but he likes me period period. You know,
Speaker 3: I'm here for it. Hey, y'all. So boom, that's the
Speaker 3: first sentence. Let's go started, So boom. Me and Calli
Speaker 3: are homegirls. She tells me there's this fine ass guy
Speaker 3: that starts at her job and she has a crush.
Speaker 3: His name is Henry.
Speaker 2: She brings him around, and I can tell he's clearly
Speaker 2: not into her. You could tell I don't like the
Speaker 2: way you wrote that friend as a friend. He's clearly
Speaker 2: ni aanswer. You feel good about that, You feel good
Speaker 2: about writing.
Speaker 3: That wishful thinking on her end. So over the last
Speaker 3: seven months we've all hung out as a group, about
Speaker 3: eight of us all together. I realized I like the
Speaker 3: nigga too, okay, so boom. So one day I tell him,
Speaker 3: but only because I thought Calli was hooking up with
Speaker 3: someone else in the group. Henry tells me he's digging
Speaker 3: me too. Turns out she wasn't hooking up, but she
Speaker 3: later tells me she sees herself marry Henry queen mind jew.
Speaker 3: He does not like her at all. She's just not
Speaker 3: his speed.
Speaker 5: Callie is my delusional queen.
Speaker 3: I love her.
Speaker 1: I would do anything for Callie.
Speaker 3: Me and Henry are vibing. Oh d. He doesn't want
Speaker 3: drama because he likes the friend group and he works
Speaker 3: with Callie. He doesn't want to hurt her feelings. I'm like,
Speaker 3: fuck it, just tell her the truth. You don't like
Speaker 3: her life isn't fair? Am I wrong for this? We
Speaker 3: grown just because you like someone, that does not mean
Speaker 3: you called dibbs. Unless he secretly likes her, but I
Speaker 3: don't think so. This is back this back and forth
Speaker 3: that she wrote.
Speaker 2: But that's how I know she's the psychopath, because the
Speaker 2: way she's like talking to us, talking to herself is
Speaker 2: a lot.
Speaker 3: It's well written, though, Yeah, because I'm following the train
Speaker 3: of thought. Unless he secretly likes her, but I don't
Speaker 3: think so, because she's made her interest very known and
Speaker 3: he hasn't acted at all. She thinks he's scared of
Speaker 3: the pussy. Wow, but me and him made out.
Speaker 5: Calli is so fucking real. Way, Kelly is so fucking real?
Speaker 3: Callie? I love you girl. Wait, no, Calli is the
Speaker 3: friend this is you're talking about?
Speaker 1: The friend is the delusional one that thinks he's scared
Speaker 1: of the pussy. Yes, that's Callie.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm riding with Cali.
Speaker 3: Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, I got one
Speaker 3: more Okay, from the top. He thinks she's scared of
Speaker 3: the pussy. But me and him made out and I
Speaker 3: kissed his dick, so if he wanted to, he would.
Speaker 3: What y'all think war misregards.
Speaker 1: So my thoughts is this mess call is an icon,
Speaker 1: Henry is irrelevant, and this person needs to go fuck
Speaker 1: someone else. If your friend likes him, go fuck someone else.
Speaker 1: There's a million people to fuck. Why does it have
Speaker 1: to be the person your friend likes that she works with? Weirdo?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but why are you trying to hook up with
Speaker 3: somebody that you work with?
Speaker 1: Calie is one of the realist person people I've ever
Speaker 1: heard of. I love Calli. She's delusional, she's messy, she's
Speaker 1: out of her mind. I'm obsessed with Callie, So.
Speaker 3: Is the person who wrote this email. Yeah, and out
Speaker 3: of her mind as well.
Speaker 1: She's out of her mind in a way that's mean
Speaker 1: to her friend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's that's that's my main issue is the
Speaker 2: way she How you write a story is basically how
Speaker 2: you're going to be perceived and how you Because I
Speaker 2: would say I don't think he's into her, but I
Speaker 2: was like, he's he's foolish, because why is he not
Speaker 2: in my friend?
Speaker 3: My friend is a catch I have.
Speaker 1: I have never had dick in my life good enough
Speaker 1: to hurt my friend's feelings about.
Speaker 5: It a man forever ever, ever once And that's good Dick.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Sam. Why why why?
Speaker 1: I just don't there's so many people to fuck. Why
Speaker 1: does it have to be to me? What Liz is
Speaker 1: there's something unprocessed in you. You're getting off on the
Speaker 1: fact that he likes you and not your.
Speaker 3: Friends, and that is the mess and that's why the man.
Speaker 3: Thank you for writing this girl. But you know we
Speaker 3: we are listening and judging, and I'm gonna stay.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'm judging you based off like your friendship, like,
Speaker 2: because it doesn't matter if this guy like you or
Speaker 2: her whatever, The most important thing is the friendship.
Speaker 3: Also, she says, life's not fair.
Speaker 5: Is not more of a reason for you to be
Speaker 5: fair to your friends?
Speaker 3: Yes, but you can be fair to your friends, be fair?
Speaker 3: Come on, but how is this your friend?
Speaker 2: If?
Speaker 4: And like?
Speaker 3: For me, it's a it's a couple of different things.
Speaker 3: One if Henry doesn't like her, he needed to say
Speaker 3: something that you're just like I like we work together,
Speaker 3: and I like the friend group but you don't like
Speaker 3: my friend, so tell her or make that clear. Don't
Speaker 3: be in my face and then for her to be
Speaker 3: like I thought she was hooking up with someone else?
Speaker 3: Is this your friend or not? Is your friend? You
Speaker 3: would know? You would find my friend app you know
Speaker 3: where she at, know who she hooking up with? Yeats
Speaker 3: nothing about it here about him? Also, you you can
Speaker 3: tell this is this is young gals. This is a
Speaker 3: young gal thing, because when you're a little bit older,
Speaker 3: you're like, I'm tired, I don't I don't care. Everybody
Speaker 3: can go. I don't have time for I'm Also that's
Speaker 3: still young. But also, girl, you know you're not gonna
Speaker 3: be with Henry Fevor. So you get it in what
Speaker 3: you fit it in. You know, it's be nice to
Speaker 3: your friend, be nice to your her and bang him
Speaker 3: behind her back? Marie Mary, I wouldn't, But like, why
Speaker 3: would you not tell her that? Y'all? Are I up?
Speaker 3: I messed up? And this is you know now I'm
Speaker 3: looking at the friend that wrote the thing. Yeah, oh
Speaker 3: hey girl, you know man Henry was hanging out this
Speaker 3: weekend And now she's like, what happened? Well, what did
Speaker 3: she say? I kissed his dick, I kiss his dick.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, I think I famously told this story
Speaker 2: on unofficial expert but like I hooked up with her
Speaker 2: friend's ex boyfriend or fiance.
Speaker 3: Wait, hold on, maybe child's father. Yeah, no, that it
Speaker 3: was her at the time.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, they had it was already done.
Speaker 2: They were no longer you know, none of that. But
Speaker 2: I had came in to the group later on and
Speaker 2: so I missed all that part. But you know, I
Speaker 2: will say that's top five things I regret. I wish
Speaker 2: I never did it. It was not worth it, and
Speaker 2: she ended up like trying to snatch my bangs out
Speaker 2: of my hair in a dressing room and it wasn't
Speaker 2: worth it because I was a dressing room.
Speaker 3: Pasha.
Speaker 2: We was in Pasha Pasha downstairs and we were in
Speaker 2: a dressing room and she was like working that night
Speaker 2: and I and I was like kind of a go
Speaker 2: go dancer, but not really, I was just it.
Speaker 3: They just they was like Sidney, we like you you
Speaker 3: get up there, you know, you look a mess, but
Speaker 3: it's fine.
Speaker 2: But she was like, you don't work here, And I said,
Speaker 2: that's crazy because I just got a tax return from
Speaker 2: this place. So I do. I do work here, but
Speaker 2: I was saying this to an OG person who actually
Speaker 2: works there for real, and all I know is she
Speaker 2: lunged after me, tried to snatch my bangs right off,
Speaker 2: and I think, shout out to the girl, Shout out
Speaker 2: to the girl who did my sew in, because it
Speaker 2: was it was attacked.
Speaker 3: I think I saw this episode of Really the Bang
Speaker 3: Snatch episode.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can remember, but I'm illusional because I was like,
Speaker 2: you know, she should have been more understanding.
Speaker 3: It's like, girl, you cooked up with her ex fiance
Speaker 3: behind her back and you were in her face and
Speaker 3: it was just like it was not good. It was
Speaker 3: not good girl, good friends, girl, it was bad. Well
Speaker 3: you know what it is too. I think at the
Speaker 3: end of the day, the biggest problem here is y'all
Speaker 3: gassing Henry up exactly. And if you're gonna send us
Speaker 3: a letter like this, you have to include a photo. Yeah, Cragg,
Speaker 3: is he hot enough for y'all to be He's noting this,
Speaker 3: I need to see. Henry said he's fine as hell,
Speaker 3: he's yeah, and then she met him and she said
Speaker 3: he was cute, So send we need a part two.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Also, if you were good enough friends. By the way,
Speaker 1: you should be able to go to your friend and
Speaker 1: be like, I don't think he's vibing with you, but
Speaker 1: I'm kind of into him. Ho would feel about that?
Speaker 3: You hate it?
Speaker 1: No worries, you know.
Speaker 3: Maybe that's why I feel like this is like twenty two.
Speaker 3: This is young girls. Yeah, this is silly, and they
Speaker 3: have their whole lives to like, find new friends, do
Speaker 3: new have another job and all. So I'm not too
Speaker 3: worried about it.
Speaker 1: A good friend is worth A good friend is worth
Speaker 1: more than gold.
Speaker 3: A good friend was worth more than a million dollars.
Speaker 2: Sidney sent you know what, don't get rid of a
Speaker 2: good friend, and I love and this is what we
Speaker 2: should end the podcast one.
Speaker 3: A good friend is worth more than some day is
Speaker 3: worth more than gold.
Speaker 1: Right, Marie did not want to give.
Speaker 3: That hand over.
Speaker 5: Marie did not want to give that handover.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that.
Speaker 3: Wow, I know you like your personal space friend.
Speaker 1: You know me when you're not strong in me?
Speaker 3: Come on, Caleb, I love you so much. You are
Speaker 3: you know, if I had to be top Whites, you are.
Speaker 3: You're there. You're in the top ten top.
Speaker 1: It doesn't I want to be I mean, I love
Speaker 1: to be number one. There's no reasoning on it didn't
Speaker 1: feel some day you're going to tell me that and
Speaker 1: I'm going to believe it. But I don't think I've
Speaker 1: earned it yet, and I'm gonna keep working on it.
Speaker 1: You're going, I'm gonna work.
Speaker 3: I know you're you're good at your job gives.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get you one flight to Kansas City and
Speaker 1: then and then I'll feel that I'm there.
Speaker 3: You don't even need to. I mean, if you're gonna
Speaker 3: get the flight at the flight. But I'm just saying, like,
Speaker 3: you know, show me what's going on and I'll.
Speaker 1: Think you some barbecue and can see they'll change your life.
Speaker 5: That's what I'll do.
Speaker 2: And he's the ambassador he puts on for his city,
Speaker 2: so I know he gonna show you around and do it.
Speaker 1: You're all you're both in the come and you're gonna
Speaker 1: come out of it thinking. Man, as far as.
Speaker 3: White people go, Caleb, tell everybody.
Speaker 2: I mean, everyone knows everyone is following you, but tell
Speaker 2: us you know where they can find you and what
Speaker 2: you got coming up.
Speaker 3: Oh and they should watch my God.
Speaker 1: We'll go so True pod is my podcast. Please go
Speaker 1: watch and listen to it if you like we're having
Speaker 1: We're having great guests on there, have had Sydney, would
Speaker 1: love to have you. Marie, you need to come on
Speaker 1: sometime and kill says things. If you want to follow me, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, you can follow me on TikTok. I'm not
Speaker 1: posting on there, but I post on my Instagram story
Speaker 1: that's really me, so come check into those.
Speaker 3: It gives very Facebook on moms.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm giving Facebook mom on inso the story
Speaker 1: for sure. I'm sharing like I'm genuinely I'm sharing like
Speaker 1: memes that are like good morning, Happy Tuesday.
Speaker 3: Yes, you're a blessing.
Speaker 1: It is to be alive. I'm sharing stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Please please share a home with waves crashing in the
Speaker 3: background so I can repost easily.
Speaker 1: That's literally what I'm doing on there. So yeah, you
Speaker 1: guys love it, come over there.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. That's it anyway. I guess we'll see you
Speaker 3: next week. This was amazing, Thank you. Friend.
Speaker 2: Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Foston is a production
Speaker 2: by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts, created
Speaker 2: and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston, Executive produced
Speaker 2: by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca Ramos,
Speaker 2: edited a mixed by Brian Jeffries.
Speaker 3: If you would like your messages read on air, please
Speaker 3: email us at mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com or
Speaker 3: call for your messages to be played at seven six
Speaker 3: three two eight zero six five eight eight