Speaker 1: Okay. You know I like to talk, and I talk,
Speaker 1: and you know, I'll talk about the women, and I'll
Speaker 1: come in and I'll rant, I'd like to give a
Speaker 1: couple of shout outs to some women doing it right.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about the women. Let's talk about the women
Speaker 1: who do it right, and the women who do it
Speaker 1: Thirsty Beyonce, Queen the Queen be used to live in
Speaker 1: my building. I'll dine out on that. And I keep
Speaker 1: forgetting that that was the case, and I never talked
Speaker 1: about it, and I have to talk about it more.
Speaker 1: We live in the same building. One one elegant security
Speaker 1: guy with her at all times, so nice. I think
Speaker 1: his name is like Julius. She just they sent me
Speaker 1: a truffle for Thanksgiving from the Carters. It came it
Speaker 1: was a responsibility. I'd like a store credit. I'd like
Speaker 1: another truffle because what happened was I was going on
Speaker 1: a vacation. Turns out you gotta eat this fucking truffle soon.
Speaker 1: It was like a four truffle in a little plastic
Speaker 1: tupperword just like a little like a max of Ball
Speaker 1: soup container, like the small one, and it was just
Speaker 1: like the truffle came and it had such a gorgeous roma.
Speaker 1: One out of occasion. Truffles don't last. What was I
Speaker 1: gonna do? Bring it in my purse too, on a
Speaker 1: plane through airport security, take it to a I don't
Speaker 1: know it was a job, but I appreciate the carter's
Speaker 1: sending me a note. Just gorgeousness. But anyway, I digress.
Speaker 1: Beyonce does it like a queen. You know why. She
Speaker 1: comes out. Whatever she's doing, she comes out, She launches
Speaker 1: it on her own platform. She does it how she wants.
Speaker 1: She's dressed to the fucking nine. She's fierce, the hair,
Speaker 1: the outfit, the music, the glamazon, the diva, the talent,
Speaker 1: the whole thing. And then she goes back into the hole.
Speaker 1: So we appreciate it. If you ate truffle pasta from
Speaker 1: Italy every fucking day, you'd be sick of it. Beyonce
Speaker 1: gives us truffle linguini made in that big parmesan wheel
Speaker 1: from Milan every so often, and we appreciate it because
Speaker 1: she knows what the fuck she's doing. You know who
Speaker 1: else does it like that? Taylor Swift, Come out of
Speaker 1: your hole with your boyfriend where you hid from you've
Speaker 1: gone into obscurity. Okay, you come out of your hole.
Speaker 1: You walk into the v m as and you wear
Speaker 1: a gorgeous chandelier on your body, the tightest makeup, you
Speaker 1: look beautiful, you sing perfectly. You give them the sass,
Speaker 1: you give them the tea, you give them the gossip.
Speaker 1: Then you go back into your own fucking hole. That's
Speaker 1: the way marketing was intended to be for the real queens. Okay,
Speaker 1: Blake Lively come in, stunning, gorgeous husband, maintains a relatability
Speaker 1: while being an icon. Okay, who came out rose from
Speaker 1: the ashes of Gossip Girl, like where everybody else is
Speaker 1: just sort of like at a level of medioquity in
Speaker 1: their career, and she's the elevated queen that's stunning and
Speaker 1: the most fashionable, amazing icon living in the suburbs with
Speaker 1: her husband, relatable, funny family, kids, perfect life. We don't
Speaker 1: know if that's true, but I'm just saying, like they
Speaker 1: let us believe it is, which I want to believe.
Speaker 1: And then she's away, you know, just living in the suburbs.
Speaker 1: And then Christopher Buckle comes to her house, and then
Speaker 1: she gets whatever fashion team she has descends upon her
Speaker 1: like a pit crew, and she gets on that fucking
Speaker 1: met ball carpet and she takes it down, and then
Speaker 1: she goes right back into the suburbs and drinks her
Speaker 1: malts with her babies. That's a fucking queen. So that's
Speaker 1: a queen. It's not. It's not like this day to
Speaker 1: day badgering, belaboring like the j Lo with the every
Speaker 1: day the assault with the cleavage and the outfits and
Speaker 1: the marriage in the Milan and the Paris, and the
Speaker 1: blogs and the newsletters and the beauty products and the
Speaker 1: but it's a fucking assault, Like, go to sleep for
Speaker 1: a minute, then come out. We know you're hot, we
Speaker 1: know you're sexy, we know your desire, we know you're
Speaker 1: in love. We know you have good skin. You know
Speaker 1: you don't drink and you sleep eight hours a day.
Speaker 1: We know it all because you tell us every day.
Speaker 1: Do it the way the Queen's doing. Don't. There's a
Speaker 1: level of thirst that exists with certain people that just
Speaker 1: need to badger you with their sexuality and fabulosity and
Speaker 1: everything every day. We need to see it. We don't
Speaker 1: need to see every day. It's so much more tasty
Speaker 1: when we get it every so often when we get
Speaker 1: it and then it's like it explodes. So less is
Speaker 1: more when you're a diva queen. I even like the
Speaker 1: messiness of Mariah. She's half messy whatever, live in her
Speaker 1: own life. And then she comes out and she just
Speaker 1: says something fabulous. She calls Megan Markle a diva where
Speaker 1: she has some sort of wardrobe malfunction, you know on
Speaker 1: the Today Show where something crazy happens. But like it's
Speaker 1: the messiness of Mariah, and we celebrate it. We don't
Speaker 1: get it all the time, and we want it. Once
Speaker 1: in a a while. She just comes out. I think it
Speaker 1: was New Year's even something gets fucked up and we
Speaker 1: laugh and we talked about Then she goes back until
Speaker 1: the Christmas special and Christopher Bucco goes to her house
Speaker 1: and Glama on to her up and we get our
Speaker 1: next taste, leave us wanting for more. Don't shove it
Speaker 1: all down our throats all day. Air day, you'll lose
Speaker 1: you lose the luster of being a true queen. When
Speaker 1: you're on an airplane sometimes you have to know some
Speaker 1: some flights, you're trying to watch the movie and they
Speaker 1: make an announcement it's ninety two degrees, and Sonny, it's
Speaker 1: forty two degrees celsius and and and Sonny, it's good.
Speaker 1: We're having a nice day. Thank you for flying, thank
Speaker 1: you for the rewards program, thank you for joining United
Speaker 1: dot Com. Thank you for this. Here's the wire. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're having you know, like, don't don't go to the
Speaker 1: west rooms in a class that's not of your service whatever.
Speaker 1: So recently I'm on a plane and they're now like
Speaker 1: and it's always like the minute you get back into
Speaker 1: your plat, there's like another announcement and always there's multiple languages.
Speaker 1: That's fair, Like, okay, people speak to the languages on
Speaker 1: a plane depending upon where you're going. Then they're like
Speaker 1: giving you the core coordinates. I am, I gonna have
Speaker 1: to fly this fucking plane or get into a boat
Speaker 1: and like find my way with a compass, Like why
Speaker 1: do I need to coordinate? I've gotten off, Like winds
Speaker 1: are at this many miles per hour? What what am
Speaker 1: I a weatherman? Now? Like what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Who gives an stop talking stop Like I'll do the
Speaker 1: weather great, you don't know if you need to put
Speaker 1: your goddamn cardigan on. But in fairness, who gives a
Speaker 1: funk with the weather is. You don't have a stylus
Speaker 1: coming to meet you at the airport. You're in it already.
Speaker 1: You're on the plane, you have your clothes, were landing
Speaker 1: the weather zero degrees? What are you doing moving on
Speaker 1: the plane and not getting off? You're gonna be a
Speaker 1: fucking polar bear now it's it's negative forty six degrees
Speaker 1: even though we're landing in Florida. What are you doing
Speaker 1: telling the piote to make a U turn and sewing
Speaker 1: together a PARKA who fucking cares? Tell me at home
Speaker 1: before I get on the plane what I'm flying into.
Speaker 1: That would be helpful. We know you plan to fly
Speaker 1: to Florida tomorrow, but it's gonna snow. Then I won't
Speaker 1: even get on the plane and don't have to do
Speaker 1: any of the ship. But when we're landing, I don't
Speaker 1: need to know wind fucking speed. What am I a sailor?
Speaker 1: I'm getting off and sailing off the tarmac. It's so
Speaker 1: fucking annoying, talk less. We're not interested in hearing the
Speaker 1: thoughts of the captain. One time they said to me
Speaker 1: on the right, this is an a I swear to
Speaker 1: God in my life, it was recently. We're flying into
Speaker 1: like Italy. Well, this is where very wealthy people like
Speaker 1: the houses are like thirty million dollars and celebrity. Now
Speaker 1: we all feel poor. I don't need to know the
Speaker 1: topography and the net worth income of the people living
Speaker 1: in this island on the left of this plane. Let
Speaker 1: me not know that. Let me not know that. I
Speaker 1: don't care. Now I want to go home. I don't
Speaker 1: even want to go so annoying, shucked the funk up
Speaker 1: or not interested in your thoughts. We want to get
Speaker 1: to the thing, and we want to watch the movie
Speaker 1: and make the plane go quickly. If we're delayed, we're
Speaker 1: gonna be on the tarmac. Let us know that I
Speaker 1: do not need to know the wind speed.