1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: It is time now forward today's Strawberry Letter, and if 2 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 1: please leave your Strawberry letter and submitted to Steve HARVEYSM 4 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be 5 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:19,920 Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air. See that, just 6 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,079 Speaker 1: like we're gonna read this one right here, right now. 7 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:27,159 Speaker 1: You never know it could be yours. Oh you never know. 8 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for you. 9 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 1: Here it is Strawberry Letter. Thank enough you subject how 10 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 1: honest is too honest? Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm thirty six 11 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 1: years old and I'm marrying a man that used to 12 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: be in the streets real bad. He was always in 13 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 1: the club and women flocked to him because they thought 14 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,360 Speaker 1: he had money. I met him at work, so I 15 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,519 Speaker 1: knew his real income level, and I witnessed him. I 16 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,480 Speaker 1: witnessed his come up. We were good friends at work, 17 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: and we had sex one time, but I quickly gathered 18 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 1: myself and told him that would never happen again. He 19 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: got a new job and asked me to be his girlfriend, 20 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: and he promised to do right by me. He became 21 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: a homebody and We never went out clubbing together because 22 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,919 Speaker 1: we'd known each other for six years prior to dating. 23 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 1: We got engaged quickly, and then I started spending a 24 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 1: lot of time at his house. He was honest about 25 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: his past and how many bodies he had. He said 26 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,960 Speaker 1: he slept around a lot because his soul wasn't right 27 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: with Jesus. Stephen Shirley. I believed this man, and I 28 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 1: felt like I really knew him. About a month ago, 29 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 1: we were watching a movie and his phone started going 30 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:39,400 Speaker 1: off with a lot of text messages. He told me 31 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 1: that it was an old buddy of his from his 32 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: club where he used to work the door. I didn't 33 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 1: know it was a woman. Around one am, I was 34 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 1: sleep on the couch and I kept hearing my fiance's 35 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: phone dinging and he was sweating bullets. I heard him. 36 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,200 Speaker 1: I heard some jiggling at the patio door, and he 37 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 1: looked at me and didn't move. I was terrified. He 38 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 1: told me it was one of his girls from the club, 39 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 1: and she's in town visiting. He said it's a game 40 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: they used to play late at night. She'd act like 41 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,079 Speaker 1: she was breaking in and he'd grab her, pull her 42 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 1: in and have wild sex. I was like wth Neither 43 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 1: of us moved from the couch and the girl left eventually. 44 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: And do I trust him after a story like that? 45 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: How do I deal with his horrsh past? It is 46 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,519 Speaker 1: hard to trust someone after a story like that. Right, 47 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:38,639 Speaker 1: it's unbelievable that story. I'll just start the letter off 48 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: this way. People can change. There are a lot of 49 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: reasons people change. If it's for the better, we don't 50 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,079 Speaker 1: even question it, and we don't hold them to their 51 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,360 Speaker 1: past mistakes. You asked, how do you deal with his 52 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 1: horrsh past? If he's changed for real? But how do 53 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,799 Speaker 1: you know that? I mean, let's see if he's changed 54 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 1: after you told him no more sex. When you guys 55 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:01,360 Speaker 1: were working together and going out earlier, he got a 56 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 1: new job, asked you to be a girl. Then he 57 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,239 Speaker 1: became a homebody with you. All this stuff is good. 58 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:11,080 Speaker 1: He went on to honestly tell you about his past, 59 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: his body count, all of that, and then he said 60 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 1: he was that way because his soul wasn't right with Jesus. 61 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,360 Speaker 1: That was really good, right, You believed him after that 62 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: because that was really good. See, Steve, honesty is good. 63 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 1: It's good. But then he messed up didn't he when 64 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,960 Speaker 1: he didn't tell you about the text messages that they 65 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: were coming from his old female buddy. He left that 66 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: information out. That made all the difference. I mean, why 67 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: didn't he just keep the honesty going and tell you 68 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: it was a woman that made you suspicious of everything 69 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: all over again? I get it. Then the wild stuff 70 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: happened with the woman banging on the door and all that. 71 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 1: That story he told you for that was crazy, but 72 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: the woman did leave eventually. He's been good and very 73 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,960 Speaker 1: honest up to that point. You think, I don't know, 74 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 1: you gotta watch this guy. I don't believe this story. 75 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: It's too crazy. Sometimes some things are so crazy they 76 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: are the truth. But in his case, I don't know. 77 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 1: I just don't know. It's too much. It was just 78 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 1: too much. It made you suspicious, and you have every 79 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: right to be suspicious. Continue to watch him. Put him 80 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:25,280 Speaker 1: on probation because you gotta see if he's how honest 81 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 1: he's going to be in the future. All Right, Steve, 82 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,840 Speaker 1: that's all I got for this guy. I wasn't surprised 83 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: by your all. You have a requirement for people to 84 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: tell you the truth at all, and when in actuality, 85 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: you really don't want the truth I do. You can't 86 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:55,919 Speaker 1: handle the truth I can. Oh no, no you can't, No, 87 00:04:56,080 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: you can't. And Jack Nichols said it, and Jack Nicholson whatever, 88 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 1: How honest is too honest? Well, let me answer that question. 89 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: That's too damn honest. It's too much honesty. It's not 90 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: the best policy. See, let me tell you something about 91 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:27,520 Speaker 1: being honest. When you tell the truth all the time, 92 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: they're not gonna believe you, no damn. So why would 93 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 1: you waste an honest statement on a person that ain't 94 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:43,119 Speaker 1: gonna believe it? No damn weight. Let's read this letter 95 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: thirty six years old man, a man that used to 96 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,840 Speaker 1: be in the streets real bad. He was always at 97 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 1: the club. Women flock because they thought he had money. 98 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: I met him at work, so I knew his real 99 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:57,159 Speaker 1: income level, and I witnessed his come up. Well you 100 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: saw his come up. That means he must have came 101 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:02,159 Speaker 1: up with money. We were good friends at work, and 102 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 1: we asked sex one time, but I quickly gathered myself 103 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,919 Speaker 1: and told him that would never happen again. That was 104 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 1: a lie, wasn't you See? We're talking about being honest. 105 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 1: You told this man that will never happen again. That 106 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: was a lie. See where was your honesty at then? 107 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: Since we won't honesty in this letter and from him, 108 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: but you're not being honest. Huh really, let's start right here. 109 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: See once I once you start lying, minutes on, the 110 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 1: door's open, door open for me. You hang on, We'll 111 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,000 Speaker 1: have part two of Steve's twenty three minutes after the hour, 112 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: Today's struggle star How Honest? Part two coming up right 113 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 1: after this. You're listening to show? All right, Come on, Steve, 114 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:02,480 Speaker 1: Let's recap today strawberry letter. The subject is how honest? 115 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:06,679 Speaker 1: Is too honest? Usually it's too honest, it's too much. 116 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 1: Honesty is not the best policy, and I'll prove it too. 117 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: Thirty six year old girl dating this dude that used 118 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: to be in the streets, real bad women flocked to 119 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 1: him because they thought he had a lot of money. 120 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,040 Speaker 1: She knew better because she worked with him. But then 121 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 1: she witnessed his come up, which means she worked witness 122 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: him make more money. He got a house of his own. 123 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 1: You and that staying that now, we was good friends 124 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 1: that work, and we had sex one time. But I 125 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 1: quickly gathered myself and told him that would never happen again. Well, 126 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,360 Speaker 1: if it didn't happen again, this letter would be old. 127 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: But you lie, you lie, You started lie once, you lie. 128 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 1: You have now given me me to lie. Thank you. 129 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 1: Though he got a new job and asked me to 130 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: be his girlfriend, and he promised to do right by me. 131 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 1: That's all it too. He got a new job and 132 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,520 Speaker 1: promised to do you right by you of y'all back 133 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 1: half as he became a homebody. And we never went 134 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,160 Speaker 1: our club together because we've known each other for six 135 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 1: years prior to day. We got engaged quickly, and I 136 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 1: thought spending a lot of time in his house. He 137 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 1: was honest about his past and how many bodies he had, Lady, 138 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 1: that is no win. This man kill the total body. 139 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: That is no way this man can kill his total body. 140 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:49,440 Speaker 1: It would be mine. You girl, wouldn't even understand, Like, 141 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:53,679 Speaker 1: ask me how many women out there? Hey, Steve, um, 142 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: that's how many women have you been with? Not that many? 143 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,440 Speaker 1: And that's how it goes. And so that's the answer, 144 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: not that minute. And so he said he slept around 145 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:15,200 Speaker 1: a lot because his soul wasn't right with Jesus. That's 146 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: a good answer. So why is the body counts so 147 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 1: high because his soul wasn't right with Jesus. That's a 148 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 1: true statement, Stephen Sherley. I believe this man, and I 149 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 1: felt like I really knew him. About a month ago, 150 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,200 Speaker 1: we watching the movie and his phone started going off 151 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: in a lot of tech mans. He told me it 152 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 1: was a old buddy from the club where he used 153 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,960 Speaker 1: to work the dough. I didn't know it was a woman. 154 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: Around one am, I was sleeping on the couch and 155 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 1: I kept hearing my fiance phone dinging and he was 156 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 1: sweating bullets. So now, why his phone ain't sigh to 157 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:58,200 Speaker 1: see all this? Honest? Why your phone ain't on Saturday? 158 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,680 Speaker 1: It's just dinging? You ain't gotta be wasn't bullet to 159 00:10:00,679 --> 00:10:05,200 Speaker 1: cut that damn phone off? I heard some jiggling at 160 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,560 Speaker 1: the patio dough. He looked at me and didn't move. 161 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: I was terrified. He told me that was one of 162 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 1: his girls from the club, and she's in town visit. 163 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,120 Speaker 1: He says the game they used to play late at night. 164 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 1: She act like she was breaking in and he grabbled 165 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 1: pull in and had a wild set. I was like, 166 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: what the hell. Neither us moved from the couch and 167 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,079 Speaker 1: the girl left defensively. Do I trust him after a 168 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: story like that? Do I deal with his How do 169 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 1: I deal with his horse pans? See that story right? Then? 170 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:44,079 Speaker 1: It's hot. No, it's true. That's a true story. Because 171 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 1: the text messages was I'm coming over, I'm coming over, 172 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: I'm coming over. Then he might have said I ain't 173 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: a good time. She thought that was part of the game, 174 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,680 Speaker 1: I do. It ain't a good time to break in 175 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 1: because I'm tenda coming act like I'm breaking it and 176 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: you're gonna snatch me, We're gonna have a wild sex. 177 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: Well they sat there all that jiggling at the door, 178 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 1: and he kept looking at the TV like he wasn't listening. 179 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,679 Speaker 1: Then he told her that he normally snatch her had 180 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,959 Speaker 1: wild sex with up. Why would he tell you that 181 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 1: that ain't nobody going to tell you that If that 182 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: ain't that's an honest statement. When you agree, Thomas Junior, yes, sir, yeah, 183 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:26,760 Speaker 1: that's a no. No, that's an honest statement. The stupid 184 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,959 Speaker 1: part woe you didn't go back there and see who 185 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:34,960 Speaker 1: was at that damn. And then how he knew it 186 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,959 Speaker 1: was a girl from the club was because of the 187 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 1: text message. Now what the girl don't know is the 188 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,720 Speaker 1: girl that's at the back though, don't know about you 189 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 1: because he didn't tell her about you. All the rest 190 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:56,040 Speaker 1: of this is true. Honesty is not the best problem. 191 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 1: That Shirley Watter lie. That woman lied to him and 192 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:10,360 Speaker 1: said we set together one time. It'll never happened again. Oh, 193 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 1: now she's a big old liar. She's a big old liar. 194 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 1: She cold lie. You lie. You give a man permission now? 195 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 1: Oh oh we lie now, so we're dealing. Oh I 196 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 1: got one for you. Yeah, see that. It's really kind 197 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 1: of it's really nothing to this letter. I don't know 198 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,199 Speaker 1: how do you deal with this horse pass? I mean 199 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: it's in his pass now. If he was still doing it, 200 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 1: then you'd have a problem. But y'all saying your whole body, 201 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 1: y'all don't go to the club. Everybody got a pass. 202 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,760 Speaker 1: This dude was really wilder. So you're gonna get bit 203 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 1: buys passed that beyond them. But as long as he 204 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,800 Speaker 1: continues to conduct himself the way he is now, you 205 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 1: might be a good catch. We're just gonna take a 206 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: while for the past resolve all the way out. I 207 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 1: know that more fans post your comments up today Strawberry 208 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:12,439 Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey FM, on Instagram and Facebook, and 209 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 1: please check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now 210 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 1: coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, it's 211 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 1: junior and sports talk. We'll get into that right after this. 212 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,439 Speaker 1: You're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.