WEBVTT - Low Vibrational Loving - 7.24.26

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<v Speaker 1>It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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<v Speaker 2>It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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<v Speaker 2>We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>Nephew's subject low vibrational loving. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am

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<v Speaker 1>divorced and I'm dating again. I've gone to counseling to

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<v Speaker 1>deal with the baggage that was part of the destruction

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<v Speaker 1>of my marriage. So I consider myself healed and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>ready to get into a healthy new relationship. But God

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<v Speaker 1>really does have a sense of humor. I went on

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<v Speaker 1>three horrible dates when I first got back on the

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<v Speaker 1>dating scene. I decided to try online dating and I

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<v Speaker 1>matched up with a guy that looks great on paper,

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<v Speaker 1>but he has some issues with his finances. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>mind meeting a man halfway with the bills, but if

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<v Speaker 1>I got serious with this guy, I'd have to pay

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<v Speaker 1>our bills and his child support. I can't fold a

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<v Speaker 1>man for having baggage, but I also don't have to

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<v Speaker 1>take on a fixer upper. I just don't think that

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<v Speaker 1>God would put me through that again. Been there, done

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<v Speaker 1>that with my ex husband. So what's with all the

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<v Speaker 1>low vibrational loving with this new generation of men. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>thirty four years old, and it's hard to meet a

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<v Speaker 1>man in my age range that's successful, that's successful and

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<v Speaker 1>ready to settle down. I've been on first dates and

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<v Speaker 1>have had to pay for my meal, and the guys

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<v Speaker 1>expect me to pursue them. I prefer a strong minded man.

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<v Speaker 1>He doesn't have to be rich, but he needs to

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<v Speaker 1>have a plan. I work with a few married men

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<v Speaker 1>my age and they seem to be on the right path,

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<v Speaker 1>so I know good black men are out there. Some

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<v Speaker 1>women are accepting low vibrational loving and the bare minimum

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<v Speaker 1>from a man, and that makes it hard for women

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<v Speaker 1>with higher standards. I want to meet a man that

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<v Speaker 1>is on my level, but if I can't, how do

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<v Speaker 1>I help guide a man to greatness without belittling him

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<v Speaker 1>or making him feel inadequate? Okay, that's a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>work right there, I mean a lot. And it's not

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<v Speaker 1>your responsibility to like fix a man, that's not your job.

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<v Speaker 1>But you can encourage him, you can build him up,

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<v Speaker 1>you can stroke his ego, that sort of thing.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's perfectly fine.

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<v Speaker 1>In having said all of that, for you to want

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<v Speaker 1>what you want out of a man, that's okay too.

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<v Speaker 1>It's great that you have higher standards. I mean, and

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<v Speaker 1>I could tell you're a good woman because you care,

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<v Speaker 1>You've gone to therapy, you've worked on yourself. You're willing

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<v Speaker 1>to help your man and elevate him to greatness. All

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<v Speaker 1>that is wonderful to you. And there are a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of good men out there. But there also are a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of use your term, low vibrational loving men and

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<v Speaker 1>women in the world today. You know that low energy,

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<v Speaker 1>that sad energy, self esteem energy going.

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<v Speaker 3>Nowhere, just bad energy.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, But again, there are a lot of good men

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<v Speaker 1>out there. If that's all you're running into, these kind

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<v Speaker 1>of low vibrational kind of guys, then you're gonna have

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<v Speaker 1>to do something different than what you've been doing. You

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<v Speaker 1>got to change your circle, you know, go different places,

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<v Speaker 1>try a new type of dating, app et cetera. The

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<v Speaker 1>kind of man you want would not allow you to

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<v Speaker 1>pay his child support, let alone dinner and his bills

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<v Speaker 1>and all of that.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, I just say, don't give up. You said

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<v Speaker 3>it in your letter.

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<v Speaker 1>There are some good black men out there, so just

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<v Speaker 1>be patient, Steve.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me just go and get into it.

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<v Speaker 4>You divorce and you're dating again, so you have some baggage,

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<v Speaker 4>but you consider yourself healed after counseling. But then you say,

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<v Speaker 4>but God does have a sense of humor. God ain't

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<v Speaker 4>do this though. See God gives us all the power

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<v Speaker 4>of choice. It is the choices that we make that

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<v Speaker 4>put us in the predicaments or situations that we find

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<v Speaker 4>ourself in. God didn't tell you to call either one

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<v Speaker 4>of these men. God didn't tell you to pick one

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<v Speaker 4>of them. You didn't even ask God. You went on

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<v Speaker 4>the date app and you did what you wanted to do.

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<v Speaker 2>This is you.

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<v Speaker 4>God don't have a sense of humor, but he does

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<v Speaker 4>want to have a relationship with you where.

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<v Speaker 2>You confide in him about things.

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<v Speaker 4>Now, you got over this divorce, which congratulations, and you

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<v Speaker 4>went to therapy, so you didn't bring the baggage.

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<v Speaker 2>Congratulations.

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<v Speaker 4>Then after you got yourself here, you quit talking to

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<v Speaker 4>God because you fixed now. So you ain't ask him

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<v Speaker 4>to help you find the man. You went out there

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<v Speaker 4>to find one yourself. The Bible says when a man

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<v Speaker 4>find that the wife, he finded the good thing. So

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<v Speaker 4>now while you out there husband hunting, good luck, that

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<v Speaker 4>ain't what you do.

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<v Speaker 2>That ain't your job finding a husband, Lord have mercy,

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<v Speaker 2>good luckily.

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<v Speaker 4>Anyway, So you decided to dating app and you matched

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<v Speaker 4>up with a guy that listened to this, that looks

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<v Speaker 4>great on paper, but has some issue with his finances.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so what paper we talking about?

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<v Speaker 4>He looked good on the dating app paper, but on

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<v Speaker 4>the credit app.

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<v Speaker 2>We ain't gonna be able to rent this apartment.

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<v Speaker 4>He ain't gonna ever get that car, We ain't gonna

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<v Speaker 4>have nowhere to live, and we can't drive off nowhere.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, let's see it.

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<v Speaker 4>Why am I sitting here talking to him?

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<v Speaker 2>Now?

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<v Speaker 4>You say I don't mind meeting the man halfway with

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<v Speaker 4>the bills? See right there, stop all that. If you're

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<v Speaker 4>gonna have high expectations, have them.

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<v Speaker 2>Now.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not saying you ain't supposed to chip in, because

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<v Speaker 4>that's what the marriage is. It's chipping in. So I

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<v Speaker 4>applaud you with your willingness to do that. But you

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<v Speaker 4>want to meet hum halfway with the bills, But I'd

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<v Speaker 4>have to pay our bills and his child support. Really

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<v Speaker 4>that don't sound like fun to me anyway, But if

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<v Speaker 4>I got serious with this guy, you'd have to pay

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<v Speaker 4>the bills. I can't fought a man for having baggage.

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<v Speaker 4>But I also don't have to take a fixer upper.

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<v Speaker 2>No, you don't.

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<v Speaker 4>But when I come back, I will get into this

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<v Speaker 4>letter with you. And you said, I just don't think

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<v Speaker 4>God will put me through that again. But see, you

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<v Speaker 4>didn't ask God about this man, though, digit you picked

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<v Speaker 4>him on your own.

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<v Speaker 1>Hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of your response

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<v Speaker 1>coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. The

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<v Speaker 1>today's Strawberry letter subject is low vibrational Loving.

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<v Speaker 3>We'll get back into it right after this.

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, Come on, Steve, Let's recap today's Strawberry letter.

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<v Speaker 3>The subject low vibrational loving.

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<v Speaker 4>This woman's divorce got on the Dayton scene, went to counseling,

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<v Speaker 4>got herself fixed up. She says, she's healed no baggage

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<v Speaker 4>from an ex husband, and so she started Dayton. Met

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<v Speaker 4>a great guy that looked good on paper, but his

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<v Speaker 4>finances was raggedy. So the paper she was looking at

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<v Speaker 4>was the online Dayton app. Who gonna put some incriminating

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<v Speaker 4>information on a Dayton app? Nobody? Everybody look good on

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<v Speaker 4>date app? Good little guy, sharp, young, in shape, just

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<v Speaker 4>like you like it. Yeah, but y'all got some issues

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<v Speaker 4>with the finances. Now, you don't mind meeting the man halfway?

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<v Speaker 4>I could applaud you for that, But if I got

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<v Speaker 4>serious about this guy to have to pay our bills

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<v Speaker 4>and his child support.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, so you got to take care of man. So

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<v Speaker 2>you got to pay our bills.

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<v Speaker 4>You went out husband hunting, and this is what happened

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<v Speaker 4>when you go husband hunting once again. Like I said before,

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<v Speaker 4>I know y'all think scriptures is an old fashioned and stuff,

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<v Speaker 4>but this stuff being around for a long time and it's.

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<v Speaker 2>Still hold true.

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<v Speaker 4>The Bible says when a man finds that the wife,

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<v Speaker 4>he finds it the good thing. It don't say when

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<v Speaker 4>a woman go out to find a husband, she can

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<v Speaker 4>find a good thing. You are not hunters. It is

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<v Speaker 4>not what you do.

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<v Speaker 5>Now.

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<v Speaker 2>It's okay to put yourself on these apps.

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<v Speaker 4>It's okay to date, and it's okay to show them

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<v Speaker 4>that you're available. But if you're out there hunting for one,

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<v Speaker 4>that ain't what you do. You're uncomfortable hunting. You don't

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<v Speaker 4>know how to hunt. Most hunters if you go to

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<v Speaker 4>bass Pro Shop my favorite store in the world, when

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<v Speaker 4>you go to bass Pro shops, they have a women's section.

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<v Speaker 2>It ain't a big against the men's section, don't.

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<v Speaker 4>Most hunters are men. Some went to women hunt, but

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<v Speaker 4>most hunters are men. That's some women who are really

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<v Speaker 4>really great hunters, but the vast majority of men sitting

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<v Speaker 4>up in them trees, shooting deers and ducks, going bad

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<v Speaker 4>hunting and wild bowl hunting.

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<v Speaker 2>Mostly men.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, So here we go now, I don't think God

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<v Speaker 4>would put me through that again because you don't want

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<v Speaker 4>to have a fixer up.

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<v Speaker 2>But you picked this guy, not God.

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<v Speaker 4>Remember, you didn't go to God for this. You was

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<v Speaker 4>going to God to get over your husband. Then after

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<v Speaker 4>that you got healed, you went out there and start

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<v Speaker 4>making decisions on your own. So now you want to

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<v Speaker 4>know why God would send you through this and what's

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<v Speaker 4>up with all this low vibrational love in this new general.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm thirty four years older, and it's hard to meet

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<v Speaker 4>a man in my age range that's successful and ready

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<v Speaker 4>to settle.

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<v Speaker 2>Down right here. It is hard to find a thirty

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<v Speaker 2>four year old man that's successful. That's a true statement.

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<v Speaker 4>They are out there, but all the way successful at

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<v Speaker 4>thirty four. I was nowhere near very successful at thirty four,

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<v Speaker 4>but I was on my way. I had a plan.

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<v Speaker 4>You may not want to fix her upper, but most

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<v Speaker 4>men at this level are just a few decisions away

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<v Speaker 4>from becoming successful.

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<v Speaker 2>They need a woman. Most men do.

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<v Speaker 5>Now.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not saying you can't be successful without a woman,

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<v Speaker 4>because there's a lot of men in the music business

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<v Speaker 4>and the pro athletes and sign the contract and you

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<v Speaker 4>can be successful. Hard to be great without a woman,

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<v Speaker 4>though most great men in history have had women by

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<v Speaker 4>their side, it's just hard to be great without a man.

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<v Speaker 4>I ain't got time to explain it to you.

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<v Speaker 2>Just take my word for it.

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<v Speaker 4>But now anyway, thirty four years old, it is hard

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<v Speaker 4>to find a man and it's successful and ready to

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<v Speaker 4>settle down because just like you all have a biological

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<v Speaker 4>clock that's ticking it around thirty, you want to start

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<v Speaker 4>having kids and make it all that. We got a

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<v Speaker 4>financial clock and we don't really get it to ticket

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<v Speaker 4>until our late twenties and thirties, after we'd have messed

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<v Speaker 4>up all of our twenties partying, hanging out, running around,

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<v Speaker 4>trying to figure it out. So, yes, it's hard, but

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<v Speaker 4>they are out there. What you need to find is

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<v Speaker 4>a thirty four year old man that's headed somewhere. He

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<v Speaker 4>might not be there, but he's headed somewhere. Then you

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<v Speaker 4>want to attach yourself to that wagon. He may not

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<v Speaker 4>be a fixer upper, but he needs some fixing just

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<v Speaker 4>like you do.

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<v Speaker 3>I like that.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, everybody needs fixing. Like Marjorie is everything that I'm not.

0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:54.680
<v Speaker 4>She's that so she helps me be a better version

0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:55.840
<v Speaker 4>of me because.

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<v Speaker 2>She's for I'm not, and I needed that.

0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:03.640
<v Speaker 4>We're seventeen years in now, see, and that's comes from

0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:08.000
<v Speaker 4>getting somebody. And when she met me, I was successful.

0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:12.920
<v Speaker 4>I was broken up pretty bad. They had done a

0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:15.160
<v Speaker 4>number on me, but she came along and came in

0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:16.200
<v Speaker 4>there and got in the trenches.

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<v Speaker 2>Whoremen made the work.

0:12:18.520 --> 0:12:21.040
<v Speaker 4>I've been on first dates and had to pay for

0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:23.880
<v Speaker 4>my meal, and the guys expect me to pursue him.

0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:27.560
<v Speaker 4>I prefer strong minded man that he don't have to

0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:29.760
<v Speaker 4>be rich. That's good, but he needs to have a plan.

0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:32.480
<v Speaker 4>That's exactly what I said to you. Well, now you

0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:34.960
<v Speaker 4>know that. What is you picking these other men? You

0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:37.400
<v Speaker 4>see what I'm saying. You can't know this? And then

0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:40.680
<v Speaker 4>overlook this. Now the dude that needs you to pay

0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:42.439
<v Speaker 4>his bills and his child support?

0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:44.040
<v Speaker 2>What plan he got?

0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:46.400
<v Speaker 4>He just told it to you. I need you to

0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:49.280
<v Speaker 4>pay these bills and his child's support. You can't hit

0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:52.400
<v Speaker 4>yourself to that wagon. I worked with a few married

0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:53.960
<v Speaker 4>men and my age, and they seem to be on

0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:56.439
<v Speaker 4>the right path. So I knew good blinking black men

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<v Speaker 4>out that day are Some women are accepting of low income,

0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:04.000
<v Speaker 4>vibrational bare minimum from a man, and that makes it

0:13:04.040 --> 0:13:06.000
<v Speaker 4>hard for women with the higher standards.

0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:08.600
<v Speaker 2>Know it, don't know it?

0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:12.000
<v Speaker 4>Don't You just got to stay away from those types

0:13:12.040 --> 0:13:15.160
<v Speaker 4>of men. It's easy to find out. I ask some

0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:18.440
<v Speaker 4>questions anyway. I want to meet a man that's on

0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:21.600
<v Speaker 4>my level. But if I can't, how do I help

0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:25.400
<v Speaker 4>guide a man to greatness without belittling him or making

0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:26.640
<v Speaker 4>him feel inadequate?

0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:29.840
<v Speaker 2>That's an easy question for me to ask. You know

0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:30.640
<v Speaker 2>how you do that?

0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:35.200
<v Speaker 4>You don't belittle him and you don't make him feel inadequate.

0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:38.000
<v Speaker 2>Tadah, all right.

0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:40.880
<v Speaker 1>Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter.

0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:41.559
<v Speaker 3>Thank you, Steve.

0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:44.880
<v Speaker 1>That's Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check

0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:48.079
<v Speaker 1>out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.

0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:51.600
<v Speaker 1>Download it today free. Never sounded so good. You're listening

0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:53.440
<v Speaker 1>to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.