Speaker 1: This podcast is brought to you by zipcar dot com
Speaker 1: or twenty five dollars and free driving credit at join
Speaker 1: zip card dot com. Slash Unofficial Experts AI.
Speaker 2: Hey, welcome to the Unofficial Expert.
Speaker 1: Unofficial Expert, where we think that we can figure out
Speaker 1: who's who thinks they're smart and who thinks they're dumb.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm Sydney Washington and I'm Marie no last name,
Speaker 2: no like Beyonce or share. And people are like Marie
Speaker 2: who works at CBS.
Speaker 1: That's a different that's Mary, Mary that's married. That's somebody
Speaker 1: else that ain't different.
Speaker 2: Different hairstyle, different woman.
Speaker 1: Different face, different cheek, bones, every different, like big toenail.
Speaker 1: It's just everything is different.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so what's what is this podcast about? Marie?
Speaker 1: Okay, So Sidney, we're friends, right, like, I mean, she
Speaker 1: she died so sometimes. But we like live in New
Speaker 1: York City where we meet interesting literally every day every day.
Speaker 1: And a lot of our friends are comedians, so you
Speaker 1: know what that means. They don't have jobs, but they
Speaker 1: all think they're really good at something specific or we have.
Speaker 1: Sydney has a lot of friends, right, you know a
Speaker 1: lot of people I.
Speaker 2: Think they're experts in just things that no one cares about.
Speaker 1: So what we're gonna do is every week we're gonna
Speaker 1: talk to a different person who thinks they're an expert
Speaker 1: at something really insignificant, something really like, really, you're an
Speaker 1: expert at getting.
Speaker 2: Fired, like being a wingman, or like being a single mom,
Speaker 2: or getting stuff for free, or an expert drag queen. Yeah,
Speaker 2: all since those things are just like, Okay, you're an
Speaker 2: expert at are you getting any money for it? Now?
Speaker 1: You know you know you're not. We have a white
Speaker 1: woman whisperer that we.
Speaker 2: Going to talk to you. Sure do. We have a
Speaker 2: hood expert.
Speaker 1: We have a drug expert.
Speaker 2: Brooklyn expert. We have so many experts. It goes on
Speaker 2: and on, and we just keep making up experts as
Speaker 2: we go.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we're like, well this dude must be good
Speaker 1: at something. You're an expert at staying at your mom's
Speaker 1: house well into your thirty yes.
Speaker 2: Or you're like, how to live with your mom properly,
Speaker 2: Like I'm an expert at living with mothers. That's it? No,
Speaker 2: I like that. That's fine. Everyone's gotta live with her
Speaker 2: mom at least once.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you're born and then until college. Like, how
Speaker 1: old were you when you left your mom's house?
Speaker 2: College?
Speaker 1: So so when you got out of college, you didn't
Speaker 1: go back to your mom's house.
Speaker 2: Oh, Ramona wasn't letting me back in for real. Yes,
Speaker 2: she wouldn't let you back in the house. Now she's like,
Speaker 2: don't you dare come back here. You gotta get your
Speaker 2: own place, so I stay with my friend.
Speaker 1: What wait, Ramona is seven?
Speaker 2: Listen that wig stay tilted. She don't give no damns.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, even if you stood out there like
Speaker 1: and with a boombox facing her window playing gospel hymns,
Speaker 1: she still wouldn't let you in the house.
Speaker 2: Listen. Ramona would have let me in when I was
Speaker 2: in high school and I would come in I don't know,
Speaker 2: twenty minutes late. She would lock the door and I
Speaker 2: would call her phone over and over and over again,
Speaker 2: and she would let me wait outside for like forty
Speaker 2: five minutes.
Speaker 1: Wait, why would she do that? I don't know why
Speaker 1: parents do that? So she's like, bring ass here all
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, but like you're what. You want me
Speaker 1: to get home early because you feel like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get into some trouble, so you let me stay outside
Speaker 1: for forty five minutes because you think no one's gonna
Speaker 1: kidnap my six years.
Speaker 2: I wasn't outside. I was just in the hallway, just
Speaker 2: embarrassing in front of the Joe, just on the banjo
Speaker 2: playing the harmonica. Yeah, hope, and somebody will give us
Speaker 2: some change and whatnot.
Speaker 1: Excuse me letters gentlemen, like you're trying to raise some
Speaker 1: money for my basketball team.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to stay off these streets because my mom
Speaker 2: locked me out right. So you know, people want to
Speaker 2: know about us, what are we experts in? So we did?
Speaker 2: We did? We thoroughly explain what the show was. You
Speaker 2: think that they got it. You think they're experts on
Speaker 2: the unofficial expert Yeah, like the person that always has
Speaker 2: the statistics like eighty percent of like white men stay
Speaker 2: doing blah blah blah. It's like, where did you come
Speaker 2: up with this statistic?
Speaker 1: Eighty percent of white man will kill you and cut
Speaker 1: you up, you in the trunk, which dread that somewhere
Speaker 1: that is true. But also wet men will wear sandals
Speaker 1: in the rain.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or they're like forty eight point seven percent of
Speaker 2: women have orgasms from reverse cowgirl, Like wait, cool, listen,
Speaker 2: let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: Okay, I feel like the stat is like something like
Speaker 1: sixty percent of all women have never orgasmed during sex.
Speaker 2: Oh, I think it's more than that, like probably eighty. Okay,
Speaker 2: you hear that. Eight.
Speaker 1: So I feel like a lot of women fake it too.
Speaker 1: I'm not an actress summer comedian, so I will uh,
Speaker 1: you're on your pean and then be like, you gotta
Speaker 1: go because I'm not here to make you feel better.
Speaker 1: I'm not here to tell you that it was amazing.
Speaker 1: How about you get up and make me a sandwich. Damn,
Speaker 1: I'm an expert at eating sand.
Speaker 2: You're definitely gonna get killed by white man. By white man. No,
Speaker 2: I'm back to black man. Oh that's good for you.
Speaker 1: I've come back to the dark side.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're helping the community.
Speaker 1: I'm good at making the community. Just feel uplifted.
Speaker 2: Just glow up, that glow up, right, that glow up.
Speaker 2: So this is what we're doing and this is who
Speaker 2: we are. But I think that you guys should know
Speaker 2: that we're also really good at stuff too, Like we're smart.
Speaker 2: Oh we have We're an expert at something at least
Speaker 2: once or twice a day. Oh, every day.
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, we use that.
Speaker 2: Word expert very loosely white, so it's just the whole
Speaker 2: thing is just open. What is I don't know what
Speaker 2: a synonym for expert, but we're the antonym of experts exactly.
Speaker 2: So Marie, what are you an expert in? Overall? Right now?
Speaker 1: I'm an expert at being like just the solid Christian woman,
Speaker 1: you know, just not a queen, just please, But I
Speaker 1: know that I'm being serious expert queen, expert, queen queen.
Speaker 1: Just when I walk down the street, people are like, oh,
Speaker 1: so Regal.
Speaker 2: It's because you're always wearing your hair bag.
Speaker 1: And I got this high just regal queen. For he
Speaker 1: your collar bone is always alone hill like money looks
Speaker 1: like money.
Speaker 2: I think if you have a long neck, clavicles and
Speaker 2: your hair up, it's very queen.
Speaker 1: I'm also rocking a neck tattoo right now, Yes you are,
Speaker 1: this dude. This dude downstairs was like, that's that's a
Speaker 1: real tattoo or not. So I'm also an expert now
Speaker 1: with trapping dudes who fresh out of prisons.
Speaker 2: Oh nice. The security guards love you, they love you.
Speaker 2: So that's what I'm an expert at. Every day but
Speaker 2: I used to be an expert at all things setting
Speaker 2: it off. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1: No, I was an expert at just stealing. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say robbing because that sounds like a crime. Stealing
Speaker 1: is innocent. No, stealing sounds bad as well. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: because people still most people steal from work every day.
Speaker 1: Like when you go to work and you print out
Speaker 1: your own like stuff, that's technically stealing.
Speaker 2: Listen, don't you give me these bullshit ass explanations because
Speaker 2: you a thief?
Speaker 1: Well I am, okay's stealing, but I don't listen. I'm retired. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm out the game. I'm not stealing no more.
Speaker 2: Also, don't have a day job, So that's why it was.
Speaker 1: But I wasn't only just stealing from work. I used
Speaker 1: to steal from like stores and stuff as a kid.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll get down to it. They get get weird.
Speaker 2: Did you let me start stealing? Okay?
Speaker 1: Well, okay, So I was drafted into the stealing set
Speaker 1: it to all Cleo game the finals. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I was. I made it. I was a plu pop
Speaker 1: warner stealing when I was in first grade.
Speaker 2: I told you in you first grade six five five.
Speaker 2: I was. I was a young scholar. So I was
Speaker 2: stealing like school supplies from like the school store and stuff.
Speaker 1: And I was stealing you know, stuff like that, books
Speaker 1: and people snacks that.
Speaker 2: Oh don't you dare? Oh, I was stealing books. So
Speaker 2: just you know, I just want to read. I was.
Speaker 1: I used to read a lot. Sidney. Listen, Sidney, you
Speaker 1: sound like somebody who don't read good.
Speaker 2: Okay, listen, I just lost a bet because I don't
Speaker 2: read enough.
Speaker 1: No, you don't read at all.
Speaker 2: I do. The last book you read, Catcher in the Rye,
Speaker 2: and that was that was like before your fourth grade.
Speaker 2: The Summer Reading Program, nineteen ninety three, Summer Reading Program,
Speaker 2: the coldest winter ever. That's my sister. So so is
Speaker 2: that the one where the girl's name was Mercedes. No,
Speaker 2: it was Winter fool. Wasn't there a y?
Speaker 1: Okay? But didn't Winter have like a friend that had
Speaker 1: like the name her name was like Mercedes or something.
Speaker 2: I digress Annie who thief? Continue? So I was stealing
Speaker 2: a bunch of stuff as a kid. I would steal
Speaker 2: snacks out of people's backpacks. Okay, get into this because okay,
Speaker 2: so you know my mom is a good Haitian woman
Speaker 2: and she's a nurse.
Speaker 1: So we didn't eat junk food as kids. Like that's
Speaker 1: why I don't eat a lot of candy now, so
Speaker 1: I don't need it, like it's too much.
Speaker 2: And your teeth are wonderful. Oh thank you.
Speaker 1: I need to get a crown anyway, that's me here
Speaker 1: north crumb for my head over my mouth. And so
Speaker 1: my mom would give us like the most basic snacks,
Speaker 1: like carrot sticks and like banana that is vanilla yogurt terrible.
Speaker 1: So that's what I was coming to school with every day,
Speaker 1: and all you know, all the white kids was coming
Speaker 1: with like dunk rus and like gushers and like potato sticks.
Speaker 1: And you had no friends and lunchibles. Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: am No. I was a cute kid. Anyway, I didn't
Speaker 1: have no kids, no friends because I was fighting kids
Speaker 1: taking toys that I wasn't playing with. But I would steal.
Speaker 2: Their snacks out of their backpacks and then I would
Speaker 2: bring my snack back home and my mom would be like,
Speaker 2: you didn't eat and I know what the banana was black.
Speaker 2: Did you ever get caught stealings? Oh yes, I got
Speaker 2: caught playoff.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I was in fourth grade, So I've been
Speaker 1: doing it for like, legit five years.
Speaker 2: Damn the fact that you know when you got caught.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I remember what teacher it was. You were
Speaker 1: a pretty serious, mister. It was mister Nicolino, fourth grade. Hey,
Speaker 1: you called it, mister nick. He was my first gig.
Speaker 1: He was my first dude teacher. I didn't even know
Speaker 1: guys could be teachers.
Speaker 2: Did he wear kaggies?
Speaker 1: He wore kakies all the time. They were always like
Speaker 1: pressed and starched. He was young too, so he was cool, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: white dude button up. He always listened to like the
Speaker 1: Beast Boys. Did he have the like short sleeve button up?
Speaker 1: Because I know teachers love those. I feel like it
Speaker 1: was a long sleeve. Maybe like his spring button up
Speaker 1: was short. I don't know anyway, So this girl snack
Speaker 1: went missing, probably for like the third time that week,
Speaker 1: because I was like, yo, mother be hooking her up.
Speaker 1: She got fruit by the foot and fruit, my joe.
Speaker 2: I would eat these people snack in front of them
Speaker 2: at snack like, damn, your mother didn't pack your lunch?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I would just eat. So anyway, he had
Speaker 1: everybody lighted up against the wall, right, and I was like,
Speaker 1: what's happening?
Speaker 2: And then he went through all the backpacks while we watched,
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh my god, he's about to get.
Speaker 1: To my tweety bird backbone. And you know, I'm young
Speaker 1: and dumb. I didn't try to hide it. I didn't
Speaker 1: wrap but nothing. I just put it like I stole
Speaker 1: it and then stuck it at the top. It was
Speaker 1: like right at the top of my trapic keeper.
Speaker 2: So this girl hopped off the line and she was
Speaker 2: like she said something to him, and he was like, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: So he didn't check her backpack, and I was.
Speaker 2: Like, what did she say?
Speaker 1: Whatever she said, I have to say too, right, but
Speaker 1: I didn't know what it was, so I just I
Speaker 1: don't remember what I said, but I said, some there's
Speaker 1: embarrassing stuff in my backpack, please don't jacket.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, you were in the fourth grade. There was no period,
Speaker 2: There was no insolin for your diabetes, no nothing, nothing. No.
Speaker 1: I should have been like, I wet myself and I put.
Speaker 2: You should have just broke out in the see Jert,
Speaker 2: somebody get some orange juice. Oh my god, a snipers bar.
Speaker 1: You know, I wasn't as a gifted and lying as
Speaker 1: I am now, so I couldn't think of something.
Speaker 2: I just was like broke out in hives. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: see I'm not literally nothing. I just was like, well,
Speaker 2: let me just see, let me just see how this out.
Speaker 1: So it guess the my purple tweety backpack and there
Speaker 1: they are right at the top of my backpack, just perched.
Speaker 1: It was like, I think it was like the cheese
Speaker 1: and crackers with the little red applicator oooh, the ritch
Speaker 1: one something like that. But it was like hers like
Speaker 1: had her name on them, and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: you didn't know my middle name is an Elise, so
Speaker 1: with their name on their snacks, her snack kept getting
Speaker 1: stolen by my blackett.
Speaker 2: And did you feel some type of way by being
Speaker 2: black and stealing snow?
Speaker 1: Because I didn't know what black was when I was
Speaker 1: in fourth grade.
Speaker 2: I was you know, I thought I was just you know,
Speaker 2: but somebody somebody saw it was like niggas.
Speaker 1: So that's probably got that, probably Italian, so they don't
Speaker 1: really ride with us like that.
Speaker 2: He was like a freaking black women black women. So
Speaker 2: that was basically you graduated. There was your initiation to thievery.
Speaker 2: So when did you upgrade. Well, when I went to college. No, no, no.
Speaker 1: When I got to high school, my friend had a car,
Speaker 1: so we would steal from like the mall. We would
Speaker 1: steal clothes and brons.
Speaker 2: And you were all black.
Speaker 1: We had one light skin friend, so you all were black.
Speaker 2: Yeah, brown people stealing.
Speaker 1: When I was in high school, all my friends looked
Speaker 1: like me except for the light skinned person, beautiful.
Speaker 2: I used to hang out with white chicks that stole
Speaker 2: from Bloomingdale's. And see that is something like pretty serious
Speaker 2: about their stealing.
Speaker 1: What were they taking like pocket book Dooney and Burkman.
Speaker 2: No, like Ralph Lauren Cardigan sweaters and like lacrosse shirts
Speaker 2: and just like anything that was very popular at the
Speaker 2: time that everybody had. They were stealing. So were you
Speaker 2: stealing with them? Girl? No, I was shivering in my boots.
Speaker 2: I was just there for the ride. I was like
Speaker 2: I probably realized. I was like, oh, so I'm like
Speaker 2: the dummy that they're probably like, oh, she's the one
Speaker 2: who's stealing. And then they run out. Oh, because you
Speaker 2: know they were watching you.
Speaker 1: Probably they weren't watching Robin and London and broke whatever the.
Speaker 2: Hill, the scapegoat. They were like that that woman right there.
Speaker 2: They probably whispered as scared. Did they ever get caught?
Speaker 2: You know what? I stopped hanging out with them because
Speaker 2: I would get too nervous. I was like, I can't
Speaker 2: believe that they were still makeup from the cosmetic department,
Speaker 2: and it's always mad people at the g. They were
Speaker 2: stealing Bobby Brown, Bobby Brown. I was like, I was like,
Speaker 2: you know what, y'all stealing Bobby Brown. I can't because
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, like Bobby Brown, like, it's somebody black with him.
Speaker 2: You miss my love and my bug and the love.
Speaker 2: I was like, yo, you're stealing from a black person.
Speaker 2: I can't. And then I realized she's white, so well
Speaker 2: then yes, I think she's Jewish. Listen. I was like,
Speaker 2: you're stealing from Bobby Brown. I'm in high school, dumb,
Speaker 2: but yeah, I used to hang out with white people still,
Speaker 2: So your black ass was stealing in the mall? Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: we would. My friend would have to get away car.
Speaker 2: We my friend would stay the car.
Speaker 1: She never stole nothing. She would be like, whatever you
Speaker 1: guys get, make sure you get me something too.
Speaker 2: She was smart. What would y'all steal? Oh?
Speaker 1: We were stealing clothes?
Speaker 2: And stuff.
Speaker 1: We were like, I stole like a dkn y tube
Speaker 1: top that I probably still have.
Speaker 2: I sold. I hope that you haven't Union Union Bay
Speaker 2: jeans or something stupid like that, like baby fat stuff.
Speaker 2: Pac Sun No, I wasn't. I've never owned anything from
Speaker 2: Pacsun on the hock surfer. I'm not a surfer dude.
Speaker 2: But that's like a very mall brand. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But then when I got to college, I then happened
Speaker 1: to find some friends who were also criminals. So we
Speaker 1: would see we would go to the mall. We had
Speaker 1: a friend who worked at this store and he was like,
Speaker 1: they ain't got no cameras. He was like, they they
Speaker 1: can't see if you're taking stuff. And I was like,
Speaker 1: oh we got an inside man. He was like, and
Speaker 1: then the censors at the door don't work.
Speaker 2: And we were like, you guys were like bootleg Oceans eleven.
Speaker 1: It was legit, Yes, Ocean's eleven. It was like Oceans
Speaker 1: like eight.
Speaker 2: It was like Oceans five because it was like five
Speaker 2: of us. We would see stuff like I got some
Speaker 2: uh some baby fat sling back key. Oh. I used
Speaker 2: to love baby fat pressed. I would love the underwear
Speaker 2: for baby fat panties. Yes, they did see through. Oh
Speaker 2: that's because he was nasty, because he was fat. I
Speaker 2: was like, oh the little cat on my cat already.
Speaker 2: The dudes in the staircase ain't.
Speaker 1: Such a classy ass, late Dick Kimora, Wait, how much
Speaker 1: did the panties used to call to you?
Speaker 2: Remember? Yo? Like twelve fifteen dollars for.
Speaker 1: A pair of sheer Kimora leads, yes.
Speaker 2: And then we have like the little the emblem that
Speaker 2: like came out the like metal one. I have like
Speaker 2: a metal pan yea yea yeah, yeah that would rip
Speaker 2: your panties up in the dryer. And you were like,
Speaker 2: why is this like in the crack of my ass?
Speaker 2: This hurts? And then you're like, oh, I kind of
Speaker 2: like this. I'm sitting you watching it, and I'm the.
Speaker 1: But I never got arrested for stealing.
Speaker 2: You're here today.
Speaker 1: I stole a love the jacket ones super cute.
Speaker 2: So, Marie, since you've been stealing for a long no, no, no.
Speaker 1: No, since I had been stealing for a long time,
Speaker 1: I'm out here just stealing people bands, now stealing people's
Speaker 1: fathers from their homes.
Speaker 2: Is do you have like tips? What was the dudes
Speaker 2: or don'ts Oh, you want me to help the community.
Speaker 2: We want to know how you survive stealing out in
Speaker 2: these streets.
Speaker 1: Well, I think the most important thing is to go
Speaker 1: with your gut. If you feel like somebody watching you,
Speaker 1: somebody's probably watching your black ass. Also, don't you try
Speaker 1: to steal from like these Chinese owned businesses because they
Speaker 1: watch black people.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, they watch us. I think was it Minister Society.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, when they came in and it was like
Speaker 1: nigg Yeah, hurry up and buy like that one that movie.
Speaker 2: Let everybody know, like, oh you know it. Don't fuck
Speaker 2: with them? Yeah at all.
Speaker 1: Well, Also I have I have some statistics for you
Speaker 1: because I am an expert and I prepared my materials.
Speaker 2: Look at you on the train.
Speaker 1: I think that in actuality, the people who are the
Speaker 1: biggest thieves are old white women and then they fake
Speaker 1: like they got I don't know, dementia and they're only
Speaker 1: way to dialysis and they didn't realize they didn't pay
Speaker 1: for no other stuff.
Speaker 2: But they're very aware and they steal. So ninety six
Speaker 2: percent of thieves are white women, and sinn you hung
Speaker 2: out with some of them. They were stealing from blow
Speaker 2: me down. So where did you find this?
Speaker 1: I found it on my phone as I was typing
Speaker 1: it for this meeting.
Speaker 2: Can we just get a reference? Do you have an Oh?
Speaker 1: You want me to cite my source?
Speaker 2: Yes? Can you source?
Speaker 1: My source is lomans By my mom's house. There was
Speaker 1: a lomans By there and it was always some white lady.
Speaker 2: And they're just stealing like I don't know, uh and
Speaker 2: tail aloft or white House, black market, terrible fult If
Speaker 2: you're stealing Banana Republic, kill yourself like that is just awful.
Speaker 1: Legit in they're stealing like Anne Klein patent level and Mary.
Speaker 2: Jane's regular slingbacks? Is that a sling back? Or you
Speaker 2: weren't a sling back, Barbara, No.
Speaker 1: A sling back kitten wedge with the corkscrew, or like
Speaker 1: the hard wooden clogs that they are.
Speaker 2: Do you know what clouds I'm talking about? What you're
Speaker 2: talking about, the ones that they were socks with two?
Speaker 2: I hate it? So okay, I like I like the
Speaker 2: way you cite. I like the way you say Marie.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm super serious about what I'm doing. So Lemona, I'm.
Speaker 2: Gonna POI you okay, go ahead. Uh. Number one white
Speaker 2: woman that was caught stealing a ride.
Speaker 1: Johnny Depp was beating that ass because he was like,
Speaker 1: you got me out here looking messed up?
Speaker 2: Uh, how do you unhook one of those security things?
Speaker 2: Oh see, I wasn't doing those. I thought they were
Speaker 2: supposed to like wrap your bag in like a luminofoil
Speaker 2: or something. I heard that you're supposed to put. You
Speaker 2: can use a paper clip and shove it in and
Speaker 2: like try to unhook the lock that's in it.
Speaker 1: Is that what you heard? Is that what you're white?
Speaker 1: Bloomingdale's friends telled you, Becky have Bloomy's.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna say because I'm not an expert at this,
Speaker 2: but I didn't. We go on a blog where there
Speaker 2: was people who were boosting.
Speaker 1: There's a tumblr page.
Speaker 2: Do you have the name of the tumbler.
Speaker 1: It's called White Women who Will Not Get Stopped and
Speaker 1: Will Not Shut it down?
Speaker 2: Open Up Shop.
Speaker 1: And it's this blog and it's all white girls giving
Speaker 1: each other's tips and tricks and pointers on how to
Speaker 1: steal stuff. And it's all about just them showing off
Speaker 1: all the crap that they've stolen.
Speaker 2: And it was like like thousands of dollars with the
Speaker 2: stuff that they stole mad makeup, And I was like, Yo,
Speaker 2: how can I hit up one of these people? Can
Speaker 2: they stealing like Mac and stealing like Bobby Brown and
Speaker 2: seeing no Michael Cores. Well, Michael Cors.
Speaker 1: Is basically the new baby fat mail.
Speaker 2: Like, if I see another old black lady on the
Speaker 2: train with a Michael corspocketbook, I'm a steal hor herse
Speaker 2: or the watch well, I.
Speaker 1: Mean I have to watch.
Speaker 2: And this blog is very informative. It tells you the places,
Speaker 2: like what time security comes in, what times they take,
Speaker 2: They know.
Speaker 1: Where the shift changes are, they know what stores have cameras.
Speaker 1: So it's like my homeboy in college, except it's a
Speaker 1: community of just young white women online who are helping
Speaker 1: you be the best criminal that you can be.
Speaker 2: So why did you give up your life a crime?
Speaker 2: I started to feel bad about it. Wow, isn't that crazy?
Speaker 2: That's knowing you feeling bad about you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I am a grown ass,
Speaker 1: broke ass woman. If I get caught stealing, they're gonna
Speaker 1: throw my black ass and.
Speaker 2: Or shoot me. You should like, I have a mother
Speaker 2: and a father. I shouldn't be stealing. Listen, my mom
Speaker 2: and dad don't even know that I was stealing for
Speaker 2: so long, mister and missus Foston.
Speaker 1: Hey, I mean, hey, Bobby, but Sidney, that's what you know.
Speaker 1: I was good at stealings. So I did that for years,
Speaker 1: and uh, I'm retired now, even though every once in
Speaker 1: a while I want to come back like MJ. But
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like right now I'm out here
Speaker 1: just stealing hearts.
Speaker 2: Ooh, I and our uneficial expert for the evenings Free Foston.
Speaker 1: And I keep saying my last name after I told
Speaker 1: you I'm just like share or Shaggy, Okay, like people don't.
Speaker 2: Need to know it wasn't me. Sidney, What the hell are.
Speaker 1: You good at? Because you are good at asking questions
Speaker 1: to criminals like me, But like, you gotta have another.
Speaker 2: Ski I watched Colombo a lot, and I just feel
Speaker 2: like we need an interrogation light over to that.
Speaker 1: I don't know what Colombo is. I thought that was
Speaker 1: a yogurt.
Speaker 2: No, so it's an old movie that I mean, an
Speaker 2: old series that's like before my time, Like my mother
Speaker 2: used to watch it and I was a baby. When
Speaker 2: you watch it and then.
Speaker 1: She and then she would lock you outside so she
Speaker 1: could watch Colombo.
Speaker 2: And then she would let me know that, like, oh,
Speaker 2: she would go to work and she would put Colombo
Speaker 2: on a night so that that was the only way
Speaker 2: I could go to sleep. And I ended up knowing
Speaker 2: about Colombo as a I don't know a teenager. AnyWho.
Speaker 2: What am I good at? I'm good at collecting friends.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, collecting men's friends. Oh, friends, I know how
Speaker 2: to be a good friend. I'm like, uh, you know,
Speaker 2: like Pokemon gotta gooda mall.
Speaker 1: Type bosh Pokemon.
Speaker 2: I you know, as you being my friend? I what did?
Speaker 2: I trapped your ass real quick?
Speaker 1: I was like, you want to take an Uber? You're
Speaker 1: like up soul. I was like, you don't need me
Speaker 1: to put in for this uber? Okay, yes, I'm in
Speaker 1: the car.
Speaker 2: I mean technically I was like no, But then like
Speaker 2: after the fiftieth uber, I was like, so she's not
Speaker 2: gonna give me nothing, She's not gonna put five on.
Speaker 1: It or I mean, I guess technically I'm still stealing
Speaker 1: Uber rides from friends.
Speaker 2: But pretty I got five on. You don't have not
Speaker 2: a song that I sing ever ever you have, You're
Speaker 2: not doing anything you like. But I'm here, that's my guest.
Speaker 2: I am breathing in your presence. Uh yeah, I know
Speaker 2: how to I know how to be a good friend.
Speaker 2: I have so many. I probably have about fifteen best friends,
Speaker 2: not best friends, but friends that I could count on
Speaker 2: call if I had a problem.
Speaker 1: Fifteen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if I needed a couch to sleep on, we
Speaker 2: at my friend's place right now. I mean yeah, but
Speaker 2: like on this couch. I've slept on this couch. Oh god,
Speaker 2: you're so gross.
Speaker 1: Shut up, Hey, booth things for the NAXT. Use your
Speaker 1: apartment to shoot this.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Fifteen that's a lot of friends.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how do you? How do you have that many
Speaker 2: good friends that you got that.
Speaker 1: That have couches? They all got a couch.
Speaker 2: Well, I learn how to be a good friend. I
Speaker 2: believe in high school I was because you were popular
Speaker 2: or you were I was not popular. I was not popular.
Speaker 2: So it's very attentive. I was like that person who
Speaker 2: would always picked up on the first ring. I would
Speaker 2: be down to do like whatever, like oh you want
Speaker 2: to you want to go? Like riding out, just ride
Speaker 2: it out all night, Just just stay out, ride each
Speaker 2: out all night. Day break, day break, night or whatever,
Speaker 2: break day, Yeah, break of doing. I mean, my mom,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna let me in anyway, so I might
Speaker 2: as well just stay out all night. What the hell
Speaker 2: were you hanging out with till like the sun came up?
Speaker 2: Just friends just going out, you know how the clubs
Speaker 2: used to be.
Speaker 1: Now my question to you, my Oprah Winfremo. Now, now,
Speaker 1: missus Washington, you say that you were out till the
Speaker 1: break of dawn? What the hell was y'all doing?
Speaker 2: You are the clubs? Yes?
Speaker 1: And did you ever feel like people were taking advantage
Speaker 1: of you because you wanted a friend so bad?
Speaker 2: Or you ared that question that was so good, That
Speaker 2: was such a good question. You were such a shady boots.
Speaker 1: No, I'm asking because sometimes when someone's really eager to
Speaker 1: be my friend, I'd be like, if this nat, don't
Speaker 1: get out on my face because it's annoying. If people
Speaker 1: are too eager to be your friend, you like, get
Speaker 1: something wrong with this this fool.
Speaker 2: Well, people realized that I was just like a nice person,
Speaker 2: and then I was just like happy to be outside
Speaker 2: outside and just like I was free, give us free.
Speaker 2: I was so happy to just not be in my
Speaker 2: apartment with my mother watching Colombo. Yeah, so I mean,
Speaker 2: I guess I get that you are somebody that people
Speaker 2: genuinely like. And it's crazy to me because I hate everybody.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, it's crazy because I don't like anybody. But
Speaker 1: people can't tell I guess that I don't like them
Speaker 1: because they be in my face. When do I go out, Henry,
Speaker 1: I be like, I'm sorry, who nice to meet?
Speaker 2: Who is this?
Speaker 1: I'm not familiar with your face?
Speaker 2: I feel like you liked me right away. No, I
Speaker 2: did like you.
Speaker 1: But the people that I like I like. The people
Speaker 1: that I don't like, I don't like.
Speaker 2: You don't like.
Speaker 1: And that's probably why I don't have fifteen couches to sleep.
Speaker 1: I just got the one couch at my house and
Speaker 1: then the one at my mom's house.
Speaker 2: I'm very open to meeting people, and I think the
Speaker 2: biggest thing about meeting people is energy, and people can
Speaker 2: pick up if you're like one of those people who
Speaker 2: are is understanding and just open, no judgment and just
Speaker 2: just chill. I have like chill, high energy vibes.
Speaker 1: You do have those things, but I don't think people
Speaker 1: can pick up on that stuff because my energy not
Speaker 1: positive and I'm not a good listener, and I'm not
Speaker 1: a good friend. But people keep trying to be friends with.
Speaker 2: My black ads. But look at you, you're a queen.
Speaker 1: Yes, So I think maybe people want to be friends
Speaker 1: with people who scare them a little bit, just a
Speaker 1: little or maybe I'm not at.
Speaker 2: All are they? Maybe they think you're playing hard to
Speaker 2: get or you're playing You're like, she's not she's not acting.
Speaker 2: I just don't like she's not a good actress. This
Speaker 2: is just all Marie. So you you're good at being
Speaker 2: a friend, and you have a lot of friends. So
Speaker 2: how often do you see these people? Like, because I
Speaker 2: got friends that I don't talk to for years, well
Speaker 2: about six seven years ago. I used to drink a lot,
Speaker 2: and I used to go out a lot, and I
Speaker 2: had a lot of free time. I would just work
Speaker 2: at my bar. Have mad money. I mean, if you
Speaker 2: work in a nightclub and you have mad money and
Speaker 2: you pretty, that is like a magnet to meet mad friends.
Speaker 2: Like why would a girl not you got your own money,
Speaker 2: your own house, she.
Speaker 1: Got own house, she got.
Speaker 2: I don't know what you know what that means?
Speaker 1: Yes, it means he ain't got to come out of
Speaker 1: his pockets.
Speaker 2: Right. I mean I'm one of those friends that were like, oh,
Speaker 2: Sidney's cute enough to get in the club. You know
Speaker 2: she's she's cute in pictures, like why wouldn't you want
Speaker 2: her around? And you know people were stay scooping. I
Speaker 2: would be like, I need a skinny black friend. I
Speaker 2: was the very skinny black friend.
Speaker 1: You were what I feel like, I needs a fat
Speaker 1: black friend. No, I didn't know that they needed a
Speaker 1: skinny black friend.
Speaker 2: Skinny black friend.
Speaker 1: The fat black friend is the fun black friend. No,
Speaker 1: but black friend is the mean black friend.
Speaker 2: But when you like, see what is it? Bring it on?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Gabrielle Union is the skinny black friend and she's
Speaker 1: terrible and everything that she does exactly.
Speaker 2: But I was the opposite. So everyone's like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: she does have an attitude. She's not shady, not rolling,
Speaker 2: honestly just like cool. Damn, So I gotta get I
Speaker 2: used to shut up. I used to hang out every
Speaker 2: like I would be everywhere. I mean everybody picture is
Speaker 2: just ready, like anytime a camera come off, like I'm here,
Speaker 2: post I'm here.
Speaker 1: That's true too, because you are crazy photogenics, so you
Speaker 1: just make like you make people's legs go up. You
Speaker 1: do it. That the nicest thing Marie has ever said.
Speaker 1: And we haven't won the record. It's not gonna be
Speaker 1: said again. You gotta get when you're said, because I
Speaker 1: ain't never gonna say.
Speaker 2: I know it's true, but true though, Like when we
Speaker 2: take pictures together, I likes be in the three digits.
Speaker 1: We making, we be breaking the internet and my butt
Speaker 1: don't be out.
Speaker 2: Okay yo covered, okay, you will have a turtle neck on.
Speaker 2: You'd be like find it likes on just a face
Speaker 2: that's it. Must spend a little much time you uh so,
Speaker 2: I would go out a lot. You have to be
Speaker 2: a good friend. You have to be available a lot.
Speaker 2: Like to pick up your phone and somebody it constantly
Speaker 2: picks up for you. That opens up your heart. Your
Speaker 2: heart is open. You're like that sounds that sound gay? Listen.
Speaker 2: That's why you fucked up. Because I will call you. You
Speaker 2: will post something. You will, you will make a post.
Speaker 2: I know you just post something two minutes ago. You've
Speaker 2: been in a group chat. You chat it up. I
Speaker 2: call you. You will not pick up. Wait, but because
Speaker 2: I'm trying to post, no, everything will already be posted.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm going, but I gotta I gotta, you know,
Speaker 2: track the less up I listen, I'll have text you.
Speaker 2: We we're gonna have been texting and then I'll call
Speaker 2: you and just won't pick up.
Speaker 1: You'll just let it ring. Well, maybe I'm trying to
Speaker 1: loation my ass. I can't pick up my phone if
Speaker 1: I got lotion on my fingers.
Speaker 2: You know, I gotta I phone six. This is sound
Speaker 2: Marie like separates. She puts a barrier up. She's like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm not picking up. I'm busy. But it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: we was just texting. I know you're not busy. Or
Speaker 2: when I call you were like what I'd be like,
Speaker 2: you're not, Like you're not excited to hear met bus Sidney.
Speaker 1: If I have your voice every damn day, several times
Speaker 1: a day, why would I be excited to hear it
Speaker 1: like the ninth time? Like we don't have to speak
Speaker 1: on the phone, like seven times a day. Like how
Speaker 1: often do okay, y'all will listen to this right now,
Speaker 1: how often do you talk to your friend, your one
Speaker 1: friend if it's a.
Speaker 2: Good friend, yes, on the phone in a day? Oh
Speaker 2: at least twice? Yeah, but you're picking up the phone
Speaker 2: and calling this person you're not you're not, you're gonna
Speaker 2: disrespect the text message. Seven years ago, people used to
Speaker 2: actually pick up the phone and talk.
Speaker 1: Girl.
Speaker 2: That sounds so because there was daytime minutes and then
Speaker 2: there was three minutes.
Speaker 1: Like no, people didn't talk before nine pm because daytime
Speaker 1: minutes would run out.
Speaker 2: So people be like, you'll call me at nine oh two, Okay,
Speaker 2: So people would talk at night and it would be
Speaker 2: a real conversation. And that's the time that I made
Speaker 2: my friends on weekday nights, AH nights and weekend nights
Speaker 2: and weekend Monday through Friday. So a lot of friendships
Speaker 2: is based on talking. So when you're drunk and you're partying,
Speaker 2: you have real, in depth conversations where somebody's just baring
Speaker 2: their soul. They're like, you know, I never really got
Speaker 2: to say goodbye to my grandmother. You're like wow. And
Speaker 2: then all you gotta do is just like cradle them
Speaker 2: a little bit, and they're like, you're my best friend.
Speaker 1: See that's the other thing that I'm I'm not good
Speaker 1: at that cradling move that you just did right there.
Speaker 2: I think I just cried like two hours ago, and
Speaker 2: you were like, Sydney, just.
Speaker 1: When I tell you, I moved over on the couch
Speaker 1: and almost fell down. I was like, nah, you.
Speaker 2: Were like Sydney, I just don't like, don't please, don't cry.
Speaker 2: I said, please, don't get none of those tears on
Speaker 2: this ropper. It's going back tomorrow. You're like, I'm not
Speaker 2: dry cleaning this, please.
Speaker 1: This is rayon I have.
Speaker 2: And you have to be there for good moments and
Speaker 2: bad moments as a friend. But thood ones are not
Speaker 2: the good ones though, but the bad ones knows that
Speaker 2: I can depend on you, Like when everything's going great,
Speaker 2: of course you're gonna hang out. Of course You're like,
Speaker 2: why would you not but lose your job, Marie have
Speaker 2: no money. I mean, I'm still your friend, so like,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Waite, I'm sorry. Is that a hypothetical, yes, hypothetically.
Speaker 1: I mean I've lost mentye a job, but I've never
Speaker 1: cried to you about.
Speaker 2: It because I'm a thunk.
Speaker 1: And also, yeah, I probably lost my job because.
Speaker 2: I stole Okay, are you relate like two hours late? Yeah?
Speaker 2: You like she and shangha why I gotta be all
Speaker 2: the time?
Speaker 1: Yeah that was true. And I got fired because she
Speaker 1: called me and I was on the bridge coming into
Speaker 1: work and I was like, I'm in the.
Speaker 2: Office and she was like, why do I hear water?
Speaker 2: And I was like ah, and she called the office again.
Speaker 2: They were like, she said, you were at the pharmacy.
Speaker 2: She's like, I am at the pharmacy. Yeah, I was.
Speaker 1: I was lying at work and I didn't wasn't gonna
Speaker 1: show up and then I got fired anyway, So thank
Speaker 1: you for putting my business.
Speaker 2: On this sitting. You're obviously an expert at running your
Speaker 2: mouth show, am so, so what's the craziest? Like your
Speaker 2: friend calls you at three o'clock in the morning and
Speaker 2: it's like, Sydney, please come sit with me. My boyfriend
Speaker 2: broke up with me and he left me on Staten Island.
Speaker 2: I would go immediately to the bodega, get a pepper
Speaker 2: turkey sandwich with monster cheese and salt, pepper and vinegar,
Speaker 2: and I would make sure it's on a roll and
Speaker 2: not a hero. Would you bring a side of chips?
Speaker 2: I would not bring a side of chips on time
Speaker 2: because I would be like, I'm bringing the sandwiches. At
Speaker 2: least you could do is have chips and dip. Bitch
Speaker 2: like come on and you would go to Staten Island.
Speaker 2: I would, yeah, I would.
Speaker 1: Would you ask her to Venmo? You fort the Uber?
Speaker 2: No? You jumping on a train like a regular poor
Speaker 2: person train to Staten Island. I mean, I don't even
Speaker 2: know if I don't have any friends in Staten Island.
Speaker 2: So this is like not real situation. But say, for instance,
Speaker 2: you're in the Bronx, Marie.
Speaker 1: I would never do that. But okay, hypothetically I'm in
Speaker 1: the door.
Speaker 2: If you were in the Bronx, I would come. I
Speaker 2: would drop everything. I'd be like, yo, Marie, is I think?
Speaker 2: I think? I felt like a tear was gonna come. Well,
Speaker 2: you know, I gotta get different though, But that's different.
Speaker 1: If I called you and I was crying, you would
Speaker 1: know that the world was about to end.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I would never my sister gonna die. My
Speaker 2: sister isn't trouble.
Speaker 1: Sidney, Please come quick, remy.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's exactly what I would be like, Yo, I
Speaker 2: gotta get there, like I gotta get to my friend.
Speaker 2: Like that's it.
Speaker 1: You would really have have you done that before?
Speaker 2: Absolutely? I was there for my friends so much that
Speaker 2: that's why when you see them, they're like Yo, Sidney
Speaker 2: was there when such and such went down, and you
Speaker 2: know Sidney can't fight, but she was there. It was
Speaker 2: just there like, hey, I'm here to document it.
Speaker 1: That is wild to me because I was there for
Speaker 1: my friends when fights were about to go down, because
Speaker 1: I was always the youngest of all my friends. So
Speaker 1: I would go and I was always the loudest one,
Speaker 1: and I was always the one waving my little arms
Speaker 1: the highest because we would try to get the girl
Speaker 1: to hit me because I was under eighteen, so that
Speaker 1: she could get arrested.
Speaker 2: Ah, was such a good friend, Like such a good friend.
Speaker 2: Nobody ever got arrested because nobody ever hit me because like,
Speaker 2: look at my face, why would they hit me anyway?
Speaker 2: So hashtag I'm a good friend, You're dumb, no one whatever? Anyway,
Speaker 2: So what's the what's how is somebody a crappy friend?
Speaker 2: Like what's a bad friend? Ah, somebody who's stay having
Speaker 2: drama and getting you involved. Like if you're calling someone
Speaker 2: all the time and just dumping the bullshit on them,
Speaker 2: it's draining. I had a friend that, I mean, we
Speaker 2: used to party a lot. We used to be coming
Speaker 2: down from drugs, so I would come hang out at
Speaker 2: her house, but she was hanging out with like a
Speaker 2: tired ass guy and he just wasn't good for her,
Speaker 2: and she would go back to him. And then I'm
Speaker 2: like they're trying to pick up the pieces, and I'm
Speaker 2: just like, boo boo, I'm not what's that lady's name,
Speaker 2: Ezandla fix. I'm not whatever that woman's name who fixed
Speaker 2: Evelyn Lozado's life. I am not after Sinko hit her.
Speaker 2: I'm not that woman. Like I'm just can't I barely
Speaker 2: have my life together, Like how I'm gonna pick your
Speaker 2: face up, make sure my face is together, put your
Speaker 2: edges intact.
Speaker 1: Like I can't you know, yeah, yeah, no, I get that.
Speaker 2: I went to the hospital like manship popped off. And
Speaker 2: then after that you're like, well, you know we can't
Speaker 2: be friends now, Well, you can't be friends with somebody
Speaker 2: who doesn't want to fix their raggedy ass life. Some
Speaker 2: people like that drama well and what they notice what
Speaker 2: they want. Some people have to go through it and
Speaker 2: just and you have to be there when it happens
Speaker 2: and let them know, like like.
Speaker 1: What if you got like church in the morning, just
Speaker 1: invite them the jury, Sidney, these listen I'm not the
Speaker 1: only one listening right now who thinks this, Because you
Speaker 1: can't be enabling these raggedy ass friends who might not
Speaker 1: turn around and do the same.
Speaker 2: Thing for you. Well, that's what you toxic friendship. This
Speaker 2: is what you learn. You learn that everything that you
Speaker 2: do is should be because it's inside of you and
Speaker 2: you want to do it. You're most likely nine times
Speaker 2: out of ten, you're not gonna get any of that.
Speaker 2: It's not gonna be reciprocated because if you're giving, given, giving, giving, giving.
Speaker 1: They just gonna keep taking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're gonna take. So now I'm going a point
Speaker 2: in my life where I'm very focused on me and
Speaker 2: I'm missing a lot of shit like weddings, baby showers.
Speaker 2: If the funeral happens, I will be there. Well, I'll
Speaker 2: get to that, but for the most part, shut up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I gotta put the Snapchat filter on it. I gotta
Speaker 2: put the doggy filter in the casket this way filter.
Speaker 2: I gotta put the Coachella flowers on Uncle Raymond, put
Speaker 2: the Grandpa face on Uncle Raymond. I'm I'm missing out
Speaker 2: on a lot of stuff, and I feel bad because
Speaker 2: I feel like I can't be the friend that I
Speaker 2: used to be. But shit happens. Ye, Like I'm following
Speaker 2: my dreams. I don't have a day job or health insurance.
Speaker 2: So this is everything is writing on this. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I gotta make it, you know, because I can't do
Speaker 2: showtime at you know, on the stick turn, I just
Speaker 2: can't happen show top.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, lazy gentlemen, you know what time it is
Speaker 1: show time.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna sell girl Scout cookies or fruit fruit snacks.
Speaker 2: Like this is comedy is my life. It's my last.
Speaker 2: So you're putting your raggedy as friendships on that raggedy
Speaker 2: because you've got good friends. I have really good youth too,
Speaker 2: But I mean the friends that.
Speaker 1: I have are good too. I mean you don't know
Speaker 1: any of them because they all like pin pals that
Speaker 1: are locked up whatever, right, But like I have a
Speaker 1: lot of really good friends too. But like I got
Speaker 1: friends that like I won't speak to for like weeks
Speaker 1: and months at a time, and then when I see them,
Speaker 1: we pick right up where we left off.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's me.
Speaker 1: Or like awesome friends.
Speaker 2: Those are very important and you have to understand. I
Speaker 2: remember when I was younger, I would think like somebody
Speaker 2: couldn't come to somebody, not a friend. But that's as
Speaker 2: an adult, you're like, yo, people can't come. They got lives,
Speaker 2: they got things. They will make their priority for things
Speaker 2: that are super important. So it's different now, like we're older.
Speaker 1: A lot of my friends are like they got kids
Speaker 1: now because they stupid, or they have like husbands, or.
Speaker 2: They got like gluten allergies, Like they just can't make
Speaker 2: terrible people.
Speaker 1: They have things happening. So that's naturally. What happens as
Speaker 1: you get older is your life. It's no longer about
Speaker 1: your friends, but it's about your family.
Speaker 2: And that's the guest thing I've ever said. I mean,
Speaker 2: you're just putting down the bricks right now. You're building
Speaker 2: a home, like you're building the projects. All the words
Speaker 2: of wisdoms that you're dropping right now. People they're not
Speaker 2: ready for this, they really are not. So do you have.
Speaker 1: Any statistics for us, any facts, any hard concrete friendship words.
Speaker 2: Eighty percent of the population only has like two or
Speaker 2: three friends, and yet here you are with ninety two friends.
Speaker 2: There it is, how do you do you talk to
Speaker 2: these people? Every day? Oh? God, but y'all, what a
Speaker 2: lot of group chats a lot of group chats, you
Speaker 2: know how many? I mean like two and I muted
Speaker 2: both of them. I know I'm in probably both of them.
Speaker 2: And then you'll message me like, yo, the group they
Speaker 2: are still talking. You're like, yes, it's a group chat.
Speaker 2: They're still talking. I'm like yelling, don't work, I mean
Speaker 2: I don't have working. Okay, you're not this open. Marie
Speaker 2: were like, oh, I didn't get a chance to look
Speaker 2: at It's like, oh I have to tay like an
Speaker 2: afternoon and like scroll all the way back through and
Speaker 2: then you'll text like from like three weeks ago. You're like, real,
Speaker 2: did that happened? Like they'd be like what did Marie
Speaker 2: just say? Yeah, exactly, So eighty percent of the population
Speaker 2: only has two friends? Yeah too that they can actually
Speaker 2: call on that if something happened like who's your whore?
Speaker 2: Who are your two friends that you're gonna call? Who
Speaker 2: are you gonna call my girlfriend? Well, because Adrian will
Speaker 2: have to pick up yes because her phone is always charged. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: and who's number? Jo? Honestly, the person that we're staying
Speaker 2: there was like recording right hair. Yeah, yeah, Anthony, he's
Speaker 2: like a grown man that like has this shit together.
Speaker 2: He stay up late because he probably at the club,
Speaker 2: and if he's not at the club, he's working really
Speaker 2: hard or having a good time. And I could just
Speaker 2: depend on him. I know that if I call him
Speaker 2: and say I got to talk about something, he'll talk
Speaker 2: and uh, I know if I was in a jam,
Speaker 2: like I was in jail, a jail, yeah, if I
Speaker 2: was in a jail, yeah, peanut, but a jail at
Speaker 2: time jam. He if he couldn't get the money, he
Speaker 2: would call somebody for me to get the money. Damn,
Speaker 2: we gotta connect that and he would like make sure
Speaker 2: shit gets done. You know, sometimes you can't be deflicit.
Speaker 2: Like I'll call you. I'll call you and you'll be like,
Speaker 2: a run, I'm that Gladdys right now, and you know
Speaker 2: I need my gym.
Speaker 1: Girl, and I me need my coin.
Speaker 2: Or like I went to jail and you were like, oh, well,
Speaker 2: I'm shooting for oxygen. But you know they if they
Speaker 2: already cut the check, I got to do the job.
Speaker 2: You're like, you know this is digital content, digital content.
Speaker 2: I can't it's very topical encouragents and then you're like,
Speaker 2: so I get out at six, what time is visitations
Speaker 2: at jail visitations, the visitations, how does that work?
Speaker 1: And you'll be in jail like locked?
Speaker 2: Will let me? I got corn rolls and everything. Everything
Speaker 2: I got the cleo set it off, jump off.
Speaker 1: But I feel like I'm glad you know that I
Speaker 1: would not come until after I was still with work.
Speaker 2: Oh, I know that's why you are in my top five. Okay,
Speaker 2: but you're okay.
Speaker 1: But you know what, you shouldn't call me no fresh
Speaker 1: like from jail, because I'm probably not gonna have like
Speaker 1: good reception. I'm not gonna be able to call you
Speaker 1: back if the call get dropped.
Speaker 2: Also, if I hear collect call from such and such
Speaker 2: a facility, would you like to accept the charges? I'd
Speaker 2: be like hell not be like, is it Charles again,
Speaker 2: It's like, no, it's Sydney.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, is it du Wayne? Is that du
Speaker 1: Wayanne on the phone?
Speaker 2: I feel like you're being a better friend since you're
Speaker 2: doing better.
Speaker 1: What it is is because I'm just trying to be
Speaker 1: a better person. Because I'm somebody who will take take, take, take,
Speaker 1: tic take, because you're gonna give it to me. I'll
Speaker 1: be like, well, you know, I'm just gonna take this.
Speaker 1: But I'm trying to be more considerate. I feel like
Speaker 1: we've had some talks where you've been like, yo, you
Speaker 1: greedy as hell and you selfish, and I be like,
Speaker 1: did you say selfless?
Speaker 2: And like true, I'm like, so I need to FaceTime
Speaker 2: to see your face. So I'm trying to be a
Speaker 2: better queen, friend, friend, queen right, companion. No, that sounds
Speaker 2: like day day. That sounds like Gail and Oprah. Yeah,
Speaker 2: or Stedman in Oprah. You don't want to be Gail
Speaker 2: and Oprah?
Speaker 1: Well, who would be Gail? Because I don't want to
Speaker 1: be Gaale?
Speaker 2: And neither do you?
Speaker 1: Can we both be old b We're Will and Grace.
Speaker 1: We're Carlton and Will were Hillary and Jeffrey. We're Carl
Speaker 1: Winslow and Edward.
Speaker 2: What about bad boys?
Speaker 1: We're We're Diddy and Lune.
Speaker 2: We are not Diddy and Luon. I said bad boys,
Speaker 2: Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. Oh okay, Mike, we are.
Speaker 1: I think what's another duo? We're the people from the
Speaker 1: X Files. Wherever the hell of those white people are?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Cool, we're Tony Brixton and baby Face. Come on to
Speaker 1: give me something. Mariah and Jamaine Duprie that is terrible.
Speaker 2: I feel like we're de Bratt and uh Jamaine Duprie.
Speaker 1: Oh, who's wait?
Speaker 2: Aliyah and Missy Elliotts and Tim miss and Tim Missy
Speaker 2: and Tim Missy and Tim. I don't know if there's
Speaker 2: still friends like that now, Oh come on, I can't
Speaker 2: stand the ring. But when they were in there, like
Speaker 2: high times, they were like super friends.
Speaker 1: Oh and then Adrian can be Magoo. Remember, yeah, but
Speaker 1: where is Magoo? I mean he's obviously working at like
Speaker 1: a wall. Adrians is not Magoo Adrian? You magoo Haboo
Speaker 1: or we.
Speaker 2: Sw V with Adrian because they're still together, you know
Speaker 2: that to make appearances and everything.
Speaker 1: I mean to go see you get so I get
Speaker 1: my phone bill because they can't pay the bills on time.
Speaker 2: No, listen. I would go to their concert if it
Speaker 2: was four. If it was and ma listen, they might
Speaker 2: be listening to the podcast, so I love Okay, Well, Suv,
Speaker 2: if you listen to the podcast, can you come down
Speaker 2: and tell us what you're experts at so that we
Speaker 2: can talk to you about Yeah, where your life went left?
Speaker 2: So I have five things to be a good friend.
Speaker 2: I spit them facts out know that it ain't about you,
Speaker 2: and no, it ain't all about you. That's why you're
Speaker 2: off the friendless Number one is it ain't all about you?
Speaker 2: Number two, know when it is about you, But.
Speaker 1: I thought that it was always about me. What do
Speaker 1: you mean know when it is about you?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Know, when maybe time to like insert yourself.
Speaker 1: That's hard. I think it should be. No, when it's
Speaker 1: not about you.
Speaker 2: That's what's the first one. No, the first one, it
Speaker 2: ain't all about you. And then to know when it
Speaker 2: is about you.
Speaker 1: But if it's if I have a problem that I'm
Speaker 1: dealing with my friends with, then I know it's about me.
Speaker 2: I feel like that one is wrong. Now some point,
Speaker 2: can you cite your source on that one with the
Speaker 2: bibliography looking the Black Planet meets dot com dot com? Okay?
Speaker 2: Number three, Know that when you give, you might not
Speaker 2: get what verses that Colossians six two is that Ephesians
Speaker 2: that is in the new text, When you give, you
Speaker 2: might not get. I know niggas in the back like
Speaker 2: take your time, now, take your time?
Speaker 1: Can you one more time for the listeners?
Speaker 2: Repeat number three? Because I didn't quite get that. T. D.
Speaker 2: Jake said, No, when you give, you might not get.
Speaker 2: So everything should be from the hot somebody get the
Speaker 2: praying shawl from the hot.
Speaker 1: When you give, you might not get you might not.
Speaker 2: And then you have to be present. You can't just
Speaker 2: do the social media thing. You can't just the text.
Speaker 2: It's not enough. You gotta go make an effort and
Speaker 2: see someone in person and be like, I want to
Speaker 2: make sure all your parts are together. I had a
Speaker 2: friend that I would talk to you all the time,
Speaker 2: but I didn't see her for years, and then I
Speaker 2: saw her and I was like, You're like, girl, you
Speaker 2: ain't got no legs, you are missing half your face.
Speaker 2: What's going on? And she was like dealing with mad stuff?
Speaker 2: But through texts, wait, look like she looked very sick,
Speaker 2: like she was going through something, and she was. She
Speaker 2: was like really depressed. She had like lost somebody in
Speaker 2: her family, just going through a lot of things, and
Speaker 2: she just wasn't showing that through social media because the
Speaker 2: filters be one two thousands one point. Well, you know
Speaker 2: what people take pictures of, like the side of their face.
Speaker 2: You're like, so you're just gonna put up the same
Speaker 2: picture of your face with a different shirt on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, those are the people who ain't got no friends
Speaker 1: or selfie sticks.
Speaker 2: Or they could have had a stroke in the other
Speaker 2: side of their face. She looked like she had a stroke, like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, did she have a how she was
Speaker 2: his friend? She was old? No, she was mige. Oh
Speaker 2: my gosh, she was old. Shut up, you're idio.
Speaker 1: So she Yeah. I mean, I think that's something that
Speaker 1: with social media, we it's easy to kind of forget
Speaker 1: that because we are online all the time. And then
Speaker 1: sometimes you get with your friend y'all not even talking
Speaker 1: to each other because you're both in your phone.
Speaker 2: Or just taking pictures. Well, I mean, leave you and
Speaker 2: you can step my followers up. N t way, what's
Speaker 2: number five? And number five is when you get older,
Speaker 2: you realize, you know, priorities are different and you might
Speaker 2: move in terms of like levels, but that's the journey.
Speaker 2: You gotta stay for the journey. You can't just I'm
Speaker 2: sorry that one got a little too Nicholas sparks for
Speaker 2: me a little to the notebook. So as we get older,
Speaker 2: there's different levels, like so, I mean like friends will
Speaker 2: move up and friends will Yeah, things are gonna change,
Speaker 2: They're gonna shift. You're not gonna be at the same
Speaker 2: level like somebody's gonna get married, and then you're gonna
Speaker 2: still be single, like going on tender days and you
Speaker 2: still have to with a ride. You can't like push
Speaker 2: those people out because they're not doing what you're doing. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you can.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you what. I'm gonna tell you why.
Speaker 2: If they're not doing shit, that's one thing.
Speaker 1: But you like trying to go to work and you're
Speaker 1: trying to get married and you're trying to like remodel
Speaker 1: your kitchen and they still like you always go to
Speaker 1: the club, get this bottle, and you're like, no, I
Speaker 1: have bills, and they're like, come on, minute, about only.
Speaker 2: Three fifty, let's go to the club. Michael.
Speaker 1: Those friends, you gotta let those friends.
Speaker 2: Go, right. Yeah. But if you're a friend, that's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm not doing what you're doing in terms of like
Speaker 2: starting a family, but I am doing something that's for
Speaker 2: myself that means important to me. You still stay in
Speaker 2: the same circle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think naturally as we get old,
Speaker 1: like you, I think, just naturally people just fall It's
Speaker 1: you start to fall out of friendships with people and
Speaker 1: you make other friends who maybe have like similar paths
Speaker 1: that you.
Speaker 2: Na Man, I like to have different types of people around,
Speaker 2: because I need to see different levels. I can't be
Speaker 2: around the same struggling people be around the same people
Speaker 2: were just doing well. I just didn't have two different
Speaker 2: circles to like make me stable and know what's really
Speaker 2: out there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but also to motivate you mm hmm yeah.
Speaker 2: And so when you just cancel all those people out,
Speaker 2: you never get to see like what the inside is
Speaker 2: and like what's going on. And you want to be
Speaker 2: a party girl. We've been doing this for this many years,
Speaker 2: and now I'm gonna stop talking to you because you're married.
Speaker 2: That's not cool.
Speaker 1: I mean, unless she married somebody ugly, I mean, I
Speaker 1: get it. So I feel like we learned a lot
Speaker 1: to do. We really freaking did, Marie. I feel like
Speaker 1: we are great experts. We are so freaking smart. I
Speaker 1: mean the statistics I had. I had a pie chart.
Speaker 2: I left it at home, but I was gonna I
Speaker 2: used the red marker in everything. I really wanted some pie.
Speaker 2: I made a Venn diagram.
Speaker 1: Okay here and they look like titties, but it was
Speaker 1: like a legit Vann diagram.
Speaker 2: I wish I could have brought it. It would have
Speaker 2: been it would have been so spectacular, it would have
Speaker 2: been so good. Next next week, Yeah, we'll pop that in.
Speaker 2: So I think this was a great first episode.
Speaker 1: I think that they're only going to get better because
Speaker 1: we're gonna get better at this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because we're gonna have more people. You know, it's
Speaker 2: not going to just be us.
Speaker 1: Know that you guys want that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And we're just gonna be exploring different topics about
Speaker 2: some really important and some just like foolish. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, we have like a really awesome lineup of guests.
Speaker 1: We have a lot of really really funny comedians. We
Speaker 1: have a lot of friends people, We have a lot
Speaker 1: of city, got a lot of friends. I'm gonna invite family,
Speaker 1: Thank you. My dad might come and do an episode.
Speaker 1: He's how to be a Haitian Ashy Man, Oh.
Speaker 2: My god, bring him. No bye, Bobby, He's not gonna go.
Speaker 2: But we have like a really awesome kind of concept
Speaker 2: and we think that y'all are going to really enjoy
Speaker 2: what we're doing.
Speaker 1: So stick with us.
Speaker 2: Yes, you might learn something. We have to plug different
Speaker 2: things that we're doing. We have a monthly show together
Speaker 2: that's a Karme Lounge. It's every second Saturday and it's
Speaker 2: free ninety nine.
Speaker 1: It's so free. It's the second Saturday of every month,
Speaker 1: and it's an amazing show. It happens every satur every
Speaker 1: month at seven thirty.
Speaker 2: Cool seven thirty at Karmel Lounge.
Speaker 1: And then if you want to find.
Speaker 2: Us on social media, we out in the streets. Baby,
Speaker 2: what's your uh? What's your Instagram? Your? My Instagram is
Speaker 2: really R three e's z y r e e e
Speaker 2: Z so simple, it's so easy.
Speaker 1: I mean, just follow me on that.
Speaker 2: My YouTube is on that. Oh yeah, we had and
Speaker 2: m videos on there. Your videos just like just mad
Speaker 2: stuff you can pull from. And then my Instagram is
Speaker 2: just sid j u s t s y d s
Speaker 2: y d. Yeah. I was like, what's my name? So
Speaker 2: it's j u s t s y d b W.
Speaker 2: And then on Twitter it's just sid n YC. Just
Speaker 2: sid n y c. Yeah. Perfect, Yeah, that's I mean, really,
Speaker 2: if you find one of us, you gonna find the other.
Speaker 2: Pretty much. We're all up in through each other's social
Speaker 2: media because we begin tox.
Speaker 1: We betweeting each other, while we're texting each other, while
Speaker 1: we're facime each other, while we're sitting next to each other.
Speaker 2: The les all of the I.
Speaker 1: Like that song, but I like you, Sydney, like you.
Speaker 1: Who's listening to this?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we like you as well. Get to
Speaker 1: work or home or to bed in one piece and
Speaker 1: we will see you gosh dart it next week.
Speaker 2: But god but no. Okay bye. This has been an
Speaker 2: unofficial expert and you're so much smarter now because you
Speaker 2: listen to this. Hello, okay, goodbye bye