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Speaker 1: Take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold it now,

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Speaker 1: release slowly again, deep in helle hold release, repeating internally

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Speaker 1: to yourself as you connect to my voice. I am deeply,

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Speaker 1: deeply well. I am deeply well. I am deeply well.

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Speaker 1: I'm Debbie Brown and this is the Deeply Well Podcast.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place to land in

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Speaker 1: your journey. A podcast for those that are curious, creative,

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Speaker 1: and ready to expand in higher consciousness and self care.

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Speaker 1: I'm Debbie Brown. This is where we heal, this is

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Speaker 1: where we become. Welcome back to the show. Something that

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Speaker 1: I talk about quite a bit, and if you follow

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Speaker 1: me on Twitter or threads, I'm known for a rant

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Speaker 1: on this subject. But it's something that I find to

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Speaker 1: be so core and in valuable to the journey of

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Speaker 1: healing that I really want to share this in so

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Speaker 1: many ways that it can get to the core of

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Speaker 1: your being practice process and taking time to study your

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Speaker 1: unique body responses and feelings to the experiences you've had,

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Speaker 1: are having, and desire to have. It is so so important.

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Speaker 1: At this moment in time, we are really blessed to

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Speaker 1: be alive in a period that has never been to

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Speaker 1: this degree at least in this iteration of humanity, which

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Speaker 1: is we are understanding unwrapping, diving into consciousness really for

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Speaker 1: the first time collectively, and that showing up in mental

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Speaker 1: health conversations and conversations around trauma, self care, and spirituality.

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Speaker 1: Now as things become more and more popular, we start

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Speaker 1: to see them everywhere, right, which means we are having

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Speaker 1: an onslaught of really beautiful language, a whole lot of

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Speaker 1: tools and truly masterful bookworks that are moving through the world.

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Speaker 1: But we're also moving through a space where it is

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Speaker 1: becoming so mainstream that we're losing the nuance, and we're

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Speaker 1: losing the process of healing itself, and we're bypassing that

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Speaker 1: sometimes really muddy experience that is so necessary for being

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Speaker 1: on the shinier side of it and tweeting quotes that

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Speaker 1: feel good that we desire to live and that people

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Speaker 1: can perceive us as. But if we miss the process,

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Speaker 1: if we miss the understanding of how our unique bodies

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Speaker 1: are connected to this earth, to our experiences, and to

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Speaker 1: our transformation, then we miss all of it. We miss

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Speaker 1: the whole point. So I'm really, really really excited today

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Speaker 1: to bring a special guest on the show who I

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Speaker 1: know is going to just expertly dive into the fibers

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Speaker 1: of this so that you can weave all the prayers

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Speaker 1: that you have for yourself in your life into the

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Speaker 1: world and live them. Today's guest is kimber Malden, a

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Speaker 1: nutrition consultant and a woman's health coach. She takes a

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Speaker 1: somatic and trauma informed approach to women's health. She integrates

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Speaker 1: somatic parts work, attachment coaching, NOARM principles, and addressing complex

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Speaker 1: developmental trauma and applied neurology into her private nutrition work

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Speaker 1: so as to offer women a well rounded and deep

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Speaker 1: set of tools for addressing their long term self healing needs.

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Speaker 1: Through both her own personal healing work and the professional

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Speaker 1: work she's done with hundreds of women over the past

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Speaker 1: few years, She's come to view everything and health and

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Speaker 1: behavior through the lens of nervous system functions. Nutritionally, she

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Speaker 1: works within the growing niche often referred to as pro

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Speaker 1: metabolic or bioengineeric, which places great emphasis on the impact

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Speaker 1: of stress in all forms, on the function of our

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Speaker 1: cells ability to produce energy disruptions, and the ability of

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Speaker 1: our cells to produce adequate energy to meet the energy

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Speaker 1: demands of our modern lives is that the root of

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Speaker 1: all chronic symptoms and illnesses, making metabolism a central focus

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Speaker 1: within this niche tying in the effect of nervous system

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Speaker 1: dysregulation and trauma within this approach to nutrition has provided

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Speaker 1: Kimber with an insatiable desire to explore the intersection of

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Speaker 1: nutritional and somatic healing as she continues to work on

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Speaker 1: her own self healing and self regulation with transparency and humility.

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Speaker 1: She dedicates her professional work to supporting as many women

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Speaker 1: as possible and developing these crucial tools for better long

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Speaker 1: term self regulation and self healing. Kimber, thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for your work in the world, and thank you

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Speaker 1: for joining us today.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 3: I'm really excited to be here.

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Speaker 1: The work you're doing, it's monumental. I mean, I don't

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Speaker 1: even think important is a word that can fully convey

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Speaker 1: what it is that you do and what it is

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Speaker 1: that you share. And something that has never lost on

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Speaker 1: me is how grateful I am, even though the world

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Speaker 1: is chaotic, to be alive right now, because when have

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Speaker 1: we ever had the opportunity to really heal ourselves at

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Speaker 1: a cellular level and to change the trajectory of humanity,

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Speaker 1: to change the trajectory of our families. So I'd love

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Speaker 1: to start by first asking about your journey into this work,

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Speaker 1: because this is not simple work. This is very layered

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Speaker 1: and it takes not just so much time and patience,

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Speaker 1: but so much experimentation, so much self experimentation. So it

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Speaker 1: led you to the work?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the simple answer is health crisis. Like

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Speaker 3: struggling with my own health and realizing that I wasn't

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Speaker 3: I needed to turn inward for support and really get

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Speaker 3: to know myself in order to know how to heal myself.

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Speaker 3: And so when the western medical model didn't work, I

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Speaker 3: turned to diet and like veganism and you know, like

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Speaker 3: a lot of really kind of strict dieting. And that

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Speaker 3: also got me a little bit closer to myself, I think,

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Speaker 3: because it like put the emphasis back in my hands.

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Speaker 3: But I also started to realize that I was trying

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Speaker 3: to spiritually bypass or like cleanse my way out of

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Speaker 3: having a lot of trauma. And I think it wasn't

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Speaker 3: until I started to work with the metabolism and specifically

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Speaker 3: with women, that I started to notice like the nervous

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Speaker 3: system component over and over and over again in myself,

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Speaker 3: but also with the women that I was working with,

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Speaker 3: So like I was getting I was getting my clients

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Speaker 3: mirroring my issues. And that's when I started to, I think,

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Speaker 3: take the trauma component more seriously. Wow, So that's like

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Speaker 3: kind of a you know, overly simplify because there's just

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Speaker 3: like so much detail there. But I think that like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I think that I've come to where I am now

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Speaker 3: through struggling and realizing like I actually have to address

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Speaker 3: this stuff, and as as a result of that, realizing

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Speaker 3: that like it's needed.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, like you're saying it's so needed.

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Speaker 3: But I didn't go into it like I can do this,

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Speaker 3: like I'm the champion of the people or whatever. It's

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Speaker 3: more just like I'm struggling, I need answers.

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Speaker 2: As I you know.

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Speaker 3: Got more answers and more tools and more wisdom and knowledge,

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Speaker 3: I realized that this is like this is a shared

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Speaker 3: collective issue.

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Speaker 1: Yes, And you know, when you're on the path of

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Speaker 1: really authentically living your life and purpose and not performative

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Speaker 1: kind of cultural purpose, it's how we all find our work, right.

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Speaker 1: It's like we in some ways we are these wounded

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Speaker 1: healers or we are suffering inside no matter what externally

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Speaker 1: it looks like. And there reaches a moment where I

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Speaker 1: think we break, you know, we just really break completely

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Speaker 1: and say, Okay, I can't be on the surface with whatever.

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Speaker 1: This is a moment longer I have to go in.

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Speaker 1: I think something that I've shared is, you know, in

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Speaker 1: my journey, I was meditating for probably ten years, which

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Speaker 1: changed my life. I mean just dramatically changed my inner world, dramatically,

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Speaker 1: I should say. But I still lived with chronic pain

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Speaker 1: that I'd had since I was sixteen years old. And

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Speaker 1: some days I wouldn't be able to walk like there would.

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Speaker 1: I was guaranteed three to four days out of every

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Speaker 1: single month I could not get out of bed. I

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Speaker 1: couldn't walk, and I was having all these other issues.

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Speaker 1: And you know, the transformation, the consciousness I was beginning

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Speaker 1: to glimpse inside of my spirit was not manifesting in

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Speaker 1: the transformation in my life. Like I was still suffering

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Speaker 1: and so in my body, in so many of my

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Speaker 1: choices and my connections. And it wasn't until I decided

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Speaker 1: to I didn't even think. I don't think I had

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Speaker 1: a choice, But until I found somatic experiencing that I

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Speaker 1: began to go inside and things changed, and I developed

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Speaker 1: the process, the practices, the self compassion to actually really

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Speaker 1: be with myself and the pain so that I could

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Speaker 1: clear it, so that I could accept it, so that

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Speaker 1: I could live. And I think, for you know, I

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Speaker 1: want to I'm not a man, so I would like

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Speaker 1: to speak to this from the lens of a woman.

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Speaker 1: But I'm sure many men listening can connect to this.

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Speaker 1: That is the part that is so hard to do.

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Speaker 1: So many of us live in the intellectualization part, and

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Speaker 1: we think going to cognitive therapy or getting all the books, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing the work because I'm filling myself with knowledge.

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Speaker 1: Knowledge is not enough unless it's integrated, metabolized, and embodied,

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Speaker 1: which means it shows up in your behavior and your choices.

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Speaker 1: And that can't change until we change the function of

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Speaker 1: how we feel inside and how we experience this vessel

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Speaker 1: that our soul is residing in. So I just really

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Speaker 1: I deeply connect to that. And you know something, I

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Speaker 1: think an area i think i'd like to start is

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Speaker 1: can you This is a very very new topic that

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Speaker 1: studies are still being developed around. So depending on who

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Speaker 1: your doctor is they may or may not hold space

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Speaker 1: for having this conversation if any move forward in this.

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Speaker 1: CPTSD in women, what is it and how common is it?

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Speaker 3: Yes, CPTSD stands for a complex post traumatic stress disorder,

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Speaker 3: and I think a lot of people know trauma as PTSD,

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Speaker 3: so traumatic stress disorder, yeah, post traumatic stress disorder. And

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Speaker 3: the difference is PTSD tends to be situational, so it's

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Speaker 3: usually something happens to us. Again, you can have both,

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Speaker 3: but there is there is a distinction, and I think

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Speaker 3: it's important to understand the distinction because I actually think

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Speaker 3: that CPTSD is more common and I think women are

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Speaker 3: more sensitive to it more potentially like the potential of

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Speaker 3: having it is potentially higher for women and I so

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Speaker 3: it's developmental. It happens over a longer period of time,

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Speaker 3: whereas PTSD is something happens to you that threatens your survival.

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Speaker 3: So you have this stored memory of something like say

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Speaker 3: you get like a personal example would be I got

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Speaker 3: hit get hit. I get hit by a car as

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Speaker 3: a pedestrian years ago, and I was okay, I had

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Speaker 3: some like bruises and stuff, but like for I would

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Speaker 3: say a few years after that, I would have racing heart.

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Speaker 3: All of the things that would you know, sympathetic dominant

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Speaker 3: state would come up every time I would cross the

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Speaker 3: street as a pedestrian, and it took me that actually

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Speaker 3: took me into somatic experiencing. And that was my first

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Speaker 3: experience of doing somatic experiencing for that particular issue that

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Speaker 3: I then took on and did for a lot of

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Speaker 3: other stuff as well. Like it was my as a

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Speaker 3: really really heady, you know, disembodied young girl. That was

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Speaker 3: like my first taste of getting deep into the body

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Speaker 3: in the somatic world and the nervous system. But there

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Speaker 3: was a lot there that I didn't touch because I

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Speaker 3: have a really high ACE score. I have a lot

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Speaker 3: of complex trauma. So I did sematic experiencing for years,

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Speaker 3: and I didn't resolve all of the things that I

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Speaker 3: was struggling with, Like there was a lot that stayed

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Speaker 3: in my relationship patterns and including like how I relate

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Speaker 3: to myself, and I didn't understand why, Like I was like,

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Speaker 3: I'm doing all this work, like feeling all the time.

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Speaker 3: You know, I have all these skills to deal with

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Speaker 3: my system when.

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Speaker 2: It gets.

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Speaker 3: You know, when I get triggered or get up regulated,

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Speaker 3: into the state where I don't feel like I can

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Speaker 3: really ground or center. And what I have learned since

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Speaker 3: working with complex trauma is that complex trauma is relational,

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Speaker 3: it's developmental, and so you and it usually develops over

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Speaker 3: a longer period of time when you're younger and you're

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Speaker 3: developing your sense of self, so it can often be

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Speaker 3: like deeply woven into who you think you are. And

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Speaker 3: whereas PTSD is survival based and it's kind of like

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Speaker 3: you're afraid for your life. That's the kind of underlying

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Speaker 3: vibe of having PTSD complex trauma is you're ashamed, like

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Speaker 3: there's something wrong with me, Like there's something wrong with me,

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Speaker 3: Like I need to you know, I'm responsible for the

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Speaker 3: bad things in my life or the bad things in

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Speaker 3: the world. So it's very much like when you're younger.

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Speaker 3: It's based on the fact that when we're developing, we

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Speaker 3: have to rely on it our external world for everything. Right,

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Speaker 3: so if there's any kind of environmental failure with the

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Speaker 3: care providers, with the environment itself culturally, we will naturally

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Speaker 3: turn inward and assume that it has to do with us. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: we can't, like we were so reliant on the external

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Speaker 3: world for survival. That if we were to say, oh,

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Speaker 3: you know, my mother actually has issues like that would

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Speaker 3: be you know, that would be like a death threat

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Speaker 3: for us or whatever. It's not comprehensible for the development

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Speaker 3: the developmental stage that we're in, so we immediately say, oh,

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Speaker 3: there's something wrong with me. And this is of course

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Speaker 3: like deeply unconscious. So you develop a different stages with

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Speaker 3: that narrative, and that affects how your nervous system responses

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Speaker 3: to relationships, to changes in your life, to different stages

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Speaker 3: where you would normally I think more seamlessly move into them.

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Speaker 3: And I think for women because first of all, women

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Speaker 3: are just more sensitive to stress. Like we have a

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Speaker 3: nervous system and metabolism that is designed to carry life,

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Speaker 3: and for that reason, because of our unique reproductive needs,

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Speaker 3: we are more likely to be stressed out over certain

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Speaker 3: things we have. We're more likely to have a nervous

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Speaker 3: system that can get dysregulated. That ties in with our

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Speaker 3: immune system, with our fertility, with all these things. So

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Speaker 3: and then you take into the fact that like in

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Speaker 3: this culture, women are pushing ourselves more than ever to perform,

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Speaker 3: to outperform men, or to compete with men, or to

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Speaker 3: at least be on like an equal playing field with men,

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Speaker 3: and so I think there's just a lot of opportunities.

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Speaker 3: And again I'm not saying that like men don't have

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Speaker 3: complex trauma and that that's not a real issue, but like,

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Speaker 3: as someone who is both a biological woman and also

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Speaker 3: works with them, this is kind of like the focus

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Speaker 3: of my work. And I feel like complex trauma is

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Speaker 3: more common than we realize, because again, it's like more nuanced,

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Speaker 3: and I think that a lot of women don't realize

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Speaker 3: they have it until they start to work with their

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Speaker 3: nervous system or start to work with their chronic illness.

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Speaker 3: And then you start to you know, when you're not

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Speaker 3: making the progress that you want to make, and you

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Speaker 3: start to learn about your patterns, like really get to

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Speaker 3: know your patterns, that when you can start to realize like,

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Speaker 3: oh this is that's what this is. Yeah, but there's

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Speaker 3: not like a there's not like a language for it

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Speaker 3: in this culture, Like we don't talk about it, I

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Speaker 3: think in the way that we need to.

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Speaker 1: And it's so so deeply layered. There are just so

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Speaker 1: many things I want to dive into, and what you

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Speaker 1: just said a couple of things that I might pop

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Speaker 1: in from time to time to clarify some things. If

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Speaker 1: you're listening, I want to just make sure this can

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Speaker 1: land where it needs to go, because sometimes when we

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Speaker 1: have complex trauma, we can we're also still gifted and

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Speaker 1: maybe have all these other wonderful things happening for us

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Speaker 1: right like you may be brilliant, you may be creative,

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Speaker 1: like we may play all these roles for people, but

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Speaker 1: you still have that going on inside. So certain things

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Speaker 1: that we call out, it's easy to reject them right away.

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Speaker 1: Like when we say words like you feel ashamed, very

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Speaker 1: often we connect the word as shamed with our own

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Speaker 1: behavior of having done something wrong. And so when it's like, well, no,

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Speaker 1: I don't feel ashamed of myself, I don't feel shameful.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes shame presents as the tiniest seed of unworthiness at

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Speaker 1: the core of your belief about yourself. So even when

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Speaker 1: stressful things continue to happen, there's some part of you

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Speaker 1: that accepts it because you think you are inherently broken

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Speaker 1: or deficient, or there is something that isn't as good

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Speaker 1: about you as somebody else. And so you may have

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Speaker 1: developed these different systems like achieving or you know, productivity

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Speaker 1: or save it again fawning, like finding the bad girl,

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Speaker 1: but yes, a pretty girl, the one that smiles a lot,

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Speaker 1: the nice one, or being righteous, or being overly strong

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Speaker 1: and hyper independent, you know. And so those kind of

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Speaker 1: the layering of those coping mechanisms for your experience become

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Speaker 1: very often our personality, and when we sit inside of them,

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Speaker 1: we can't see those deeper layers of where we're hurting.

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Speaker 1: And if we can't see them, we can't feel them.

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Speaker 1: We can't get to them, they can't be resolved. So

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Speaker 1: I want everyone, as you're listening to this show, even

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Speaker 1: if there's some way where you're like, no, I'm super strong,

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Speaker 1: No I'm not sensitive at all, or I handle stress

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Speaker 1: really well. All of that I'm certain is true in

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Speaker 1: all the ways that it's true. But I want you

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Speaker 1: to notice the ways it isn't. I want you to

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Speaker 1: notice the places in your body that that is not true.

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Speaker 1: We're actually after the third breakup, or after the fourth

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Speaker 1: betrayal by a friend, or after the second time you

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Speaker 1: were overlooked for a promotion, Somewhere deep inside, though you

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Speaker 1: never said it out loud, you thought it was you,

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Speaker 1: or you thought there was something inherently deficient about you

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Speaker 1: that made your life this way. Notice the nuance of

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Speaker 1: those tiny moments in the c us it's really important.

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Speaker 1: Notice them. Don't get stuck there. You don't have to

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Speaker 1: stay there, but perhaps write about it, set aside some

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Speaker 1: time to think about it, because that's where the work

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Speaker 1: is like truly, that's where the most important and very

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Speaker 1: often the most beautiful parts of the work is deeply

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Speaker 1: well when it comes to you know, the understanding of

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Speaker 1: women's bodies, because I want to call up some things

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Speaker 1: for men and women. You know, all of us can

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Speaker 1: have CPTSD, PTSD, a whole host of mental and emotional

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Speaker 1: you know, disorders and hardships and challenges sometimes the hardship

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Speaker 1: for women and being able to be with that. And again,

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Speaker 1: since I am not a man, I can just kind

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Speaker 1: of speak to this experience when for thousands of years societightily,

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Speaker 1: you are looked at and crafted to be and forced

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Speaker 1: to be a caretaker for everyone else and thinking about

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Speaker 1: everyone else all the time. That is the baseline I

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Speaker 1: think expectation of women always, even as children when we're

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Speaker 1: two years old, but we're getting babies as presents, and

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Speaker 1: we're putting a bottle in a baby and caretaking for

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Speaker 1: a baby as a child, like, it's ingrained in us

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Speaker 1: to a degree. We often don't realize this programming of

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Speaker 1: martyrdom or this programming of self sacrifice, and so that

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Speaker 1: can often get in the way, which means you're taking

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Speaker 1: on more work, you're being strong for everyone. And so

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Speaker 1: when we use words like sensitivity, like you might be

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Speaker 1: highly sensitive, or you might be sensitive to those feelings

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Speaker 1: you want to reject it. I'm really speaking for myself

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Speaker 1: now because for years I was like, I'm not highly sensitive.

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Speaker 1: You know what I've been through. I'm so strong, No,

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Speaker 1: I am. I feel everything. I feel everything. Being sensitive

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Speaker 1: means that wiring inside of yourself that you are more

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Speaker 1: prone to notice, to feel, to observe, to sense things

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Speaker 1: that maybe other people aren't picking up on. And thank

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Speaker 1: you for the biology of that, because I never knew that.

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Speaker 1: Part of that is the divine orchestration so that we

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Speaker 1: can carry children and be sensitive to those needs as well.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's interesting to think about that. You know, even

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Speaker 3: if we decide we don't want to have children or

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Speaker 3: it doesn't work, it's not in our path, we do

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Speaker 3: have organ systems that are designed to work for two.

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Speaker 3: So our entire body is designed to work for two

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Speaker 3: and for that reason, our stress response is like the

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Speaker 3: brain is more sensitive to stress. So when we have

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Speaker 3: a stressor and again i'm speaking averages, So there's like

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Speaker 3: plenty of people out there that don't you know, that

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Speaker 3: are outliers or whatever, but like on a whole, women's

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Speaker 3: biologies sets them up to be more sensitive to low

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Speaker 3: blood sugar, to low thyroid, to adrenal stress. And that's

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Speaker 3: why you see so much of the statistics around women's

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Speaker 3: illness or chronic illnesses are affecting women in a predominantly

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Speaker 3: higher rate.

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Speaker 2: I think part of that.

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Speaker 3: Is the fact that we are pushing ourselves to, you know,

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Speaker 3: meet some idea of success based on a male centric,

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Speaker 3: a male centric system to an extent, like we want

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Speaker 3: to be able to succeed in things that men are

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Speaker 3: succeeding in, and that's not all that we want. We

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Speaker 3: also want to you know, have children and all this,

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Speaker 3: but we're pushing it back later. So there's like all

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Speaker 3: of these reasons why I think our bodies are taking

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Speaker 3: the hit.

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Speaker 2: And so being highly sensitive doesn't just mean.

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Speaker 3: That you know, that you're weaker or something. It means

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Speaker 3: that you're taking in more signals potentially that your brain

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Speaker 3: is flooded, because that's how humans work, right, Like we

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Speaker 3: take in signals, we interpret them, and then we get outputs. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and so as if you're dealing with a lot, like

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Speaker 3: if you're putting your body through a lot, then you're

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Speaker 3: taking in a lot of signals and you're overwhelmed. You're

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Speaker 3: overwhelming your brain, and so you're going to be highly

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Speaker 3: sensitive because you're going to have more responses from the

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Speaker 3: brain to the things that you're taking in.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. Wow.

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Speaker 3: And I wanted to say one thing too, regarding the

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Speaker 3: you know, the concept of like pushing away complex trauma

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Speaker 3: or like any of these kind of like heavier potentially

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Speaker 3: like darker aspects of ourselves paint more painful aspects of ourselves.

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Speaker 3: A really liberating practice that I have used myself and

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Speaker 3: with my clients as parts work. And so that's like

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Speaker 3: looking at yourself as this multitudinous being instead of just

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Speaker 3: being like one person like I am strong, You're actually

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Speaker 3: like so many different things, right, So, like you can

399
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Speaker 3: have this trauma, you can have these wounds, you can

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Speaker 3: have these patterns, and you can also have all of

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Speaker 3: these other things as well, So you're also beautiful and

402
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Speaker 3: sensitive and creative and resilient, and you can also be

403
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Speaker 3: like young and in pain, constricted, contracted, scared. And I

404
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Speaker 3: think that's like that's one part of the journey of

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Speaker 3: working with complex trauma and actually just acknowledging that you

406
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Speaker 3: have it is knowing like I have these parts, yeah,

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Speaker 3: and these parts need they need care, they need attention,

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Speaker 3: they need healing, and I can still live my life.

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Speaker 3: And you know, we just need to have a more

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Speaker 3: language for it in this culture and like more acceptance

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Speaker 3: that that's what a lot of people's journey is is

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Speaker 3: it's actually like coming back to their true self through

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Speaker 3: working and healing, with healing these you know these parts.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Oh my gosh, thank you. I saw a stat recently.

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Speaker 1: I was doing this amazing event with the Women's Alzheimer's

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Speaker 1: Music Music, the Women's Alzheimer's Movement, Who's just doing Maria

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Speaker 1: Schreiver goddess doing phenomenal work, getting studies done and pushing

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Speaker 1: women's health forward in all kinds of ways. The stat

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Speaker 1: said that out of all the cases of autoimmune disease,

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Speaker 1: seventy percent of the cases are women. Can we first,

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Speaker 1: can you share what autoimmune disease is and what are

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Speaker 1: some of the ways that it's being connected to having CPTSD,

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Speaker 1: and why potentially it might affect women more and so

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Speaker 1: this also speaks to chronic pain and.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So autoimmunity is when the immune system

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Speaker 3: is not working properly, so it basically attacks cells within

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Speaker 3: the body. It doesn't it's not able to distinguish between

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Speaker 3: self and other and so, and it can happen to

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Speaker 3: different systems. So you can have autoimmunity of the thyroid,

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Speaker 3: you can have autoimmunity of the digestive tract, you can

431
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Speaker 3: have autoimmunity of pretty much every system in the body.

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Speaker 3: Can be affected because the immune system plays a role

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Speaker 3: in pretty much every function in the body. There's a

434
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:45,679
Speaker 3: there's a tie there. And so although I can't necessarily

435
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 3: say like I don't, I don't fully understand the mechanisms

436
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 3: of the connection to complex trauma and autoimmunity. There's a

437
00:26:55,040 --> 00:27:00,120
Speaker 3: few things. One thing is have you heard of a SCORES? Yeah, So,

438
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 3: so a SCORES it stands for adverse child experience. So

439
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 3: if you have an ACE, especially like a four or

440
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 3: more than your chances of having any you know, chronic illness,

441
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 3: any addiction. There's like a whole list of things that

442
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 3: you will potentially have in your life as a result

443
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 3: of having an adverse child experience.

444
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 2: So that is one of the one of the things.

445
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 3: The study, the ACE, the like large a study is

446
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 3: one of the things that put complex trauma on the map.

447
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 3: So there is a really strong tie there. Again, if

448
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 3: you have these like early life environmental failures that affect

449
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 3: a small child's nervous system, so puts you into a

450
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 3: sympathetic state, pushes you to disassociate, pushes you to freeze

451
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,400
Speaker 3: and collapse, fond, all these things at a really early

452
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 3: age when you're still developing who you are and your

453
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 3: brain still developing. So as a result of that, the

454
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 3: immune system is consistently being triggered when you're having this

455
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 3: sympathetic state, You're when you're getting pushed into the sympathetic

456
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 3: state all the time. So when you have, you know,

457
00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 3: a upregulated nervous system all the time, your immunesystem is

458
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,120
Speaker 3: going to be disrupted by that. So that I think

459
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 3: is the link. There is a link there between autoimmunity

460
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 3: and complex complex trauma as far as like why it's

461
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 3: affecting women. Again, Like I think that partially that ties

462
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 3: back into the fact that women have more sensitive systems.

463
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 3: But one thing I will say, and I know this

464
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:23,360
Speaker 3: is like not a popular, you know, stance, I think

465
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 3: hormonal birth control creates a lot of problems for women

466
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,160
Speaker 3: because you're creating you're basically severing ties between the brain

467
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 3: and the ovaries. So you're creating a disruption between the

468
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 3: brain's capacity to communicate with your reproductive organs. And as

469
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 3: women like as you know, as reproductive beings, we our

470
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,959
Speaker 3: immune system is like directly linked to a reproductive organs

471
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 3: to our cycle every month, and so when you sever

472
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,959
Speaker 3: that communication, you are disrupting the body's ability to regulate

473
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 3: its immune response. You're also disrupting the visibility to regulate

474
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 3: its cortisolt response. And there's like there's there is data

475
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 3: to you know, to link this stuff. And so I

476
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 3: don't think that there's like I don't think there's like

477
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 3: any kind of solid studies that can say directly like

478
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 3: autoimmunity as a result of birth control, but like there's

479
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 3: enough data there to like make that connection.

480
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, And we have like.

481
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:22,479
Speaker 3: Sixty five percent or something of reproductive women in their

482
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 3: reproductive years in this country that are on hormonal earth control,

483
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 3: my god, or birth control in general. But I think

484
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 3: a large percentage of that is hormonal earth control.

485
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 1: And you know something I want to call out in

486
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 1: regards to like the study aspect of things or having

487
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 1: you know, quote unquote scientific quantifiable proof. This is all new, right,

488
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 1: It's not new in our bodies, but us making these

489
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 1: connections and even studying women's health at allah is incredibly new,

490
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 1: incredibly new. You know, previously, whenever any kind of medical

491
00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 1: condition would be explored, they'd only study men, and and

492
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:03,880
Speaker 1: then they choose to often just half whatever the prescription

493
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 1: is because they thought of women as kind of being

494
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 1: smaller half of men. So there is so much we

495
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 1: are just beginning to learn about our unique bodies that

496
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 1: has never existed before. That's one. Two is studies require funding.

497
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 1: Most things are studied and in front of you because

498
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 1: it was funded by someone or something or a company

499
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 1: of some sorts. So a lot of times medications, treatments,

500
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 1: different things that we see a lot that we trust.

501
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 1: The reason they're in front of us is because there

502
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 1: is a budget to market them and there is a

503
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 1: budget to get them looked at and very often. Yeah, anyway,

504
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 1: I'll stay there with that's a lot you can say

505
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 1: that I don't want to get shadow band, but it's

506
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 1: just really important to look at a multitude of information

507
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 1: and really see where the connections are. This is how

508
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: studies are funded, this is how science advanced, is medicine advances,

509
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 1: and humanity evolves. In advances. We see these bridges, we

510
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: make these connections, we begin to kind of begin whatever

511
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: the healing journey is, and from there we come up

512
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 1: with our theories and we come up with you know,

513
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 1: our solutions and our quantifiable proof. So I just want

514
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 1: to put that there.

515
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's I mean, that's really important. Actually, that's like

516
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 3: a soap box that I stand on a lot.

517
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: Is that.

518
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, with western medicine, exercise physiology, nutritional epidemiology,

519
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 3: a lot of it is still male studies or you know,

520
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 3: male cultures and Petri dishes and so it's there's I

521
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 3: see a lot of stuff that's being applied to women's bodies,

522
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:43,480
Speaker 3: like fasting and like extreme workouts and like very extreme diets,

523
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 3: and I'm like, that's not going to serve the female physiology.

524
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 3: Like there we have no research to back that up

525
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 3: and and I think, so, yeah, So I think that's

526
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 3: really important. Like that's one of my kind of like

527
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 3: bullet points for how I choose to work with women

528
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 3: is like, is it catering to actual to women's body?

529
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 3: Is there a way that we can figure that out?

530
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 3: Or is that is there proof there? Or does it

531
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 3: intuitively feel right? Based on my knowledge of how female

532
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 3: physiology works.

533
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 1: Based on your knowledge and your experience working with women,

534
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 1: what do you notice that a lot of women do

535
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 1: that is not actually beneficial for women? Like things that

536
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: may exist in the.

537
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 3: Mainstream under eating so likely. Yeah, so like restrictive diets,

538
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 3: so low carb, like keto diets. Really yeah, I have

539
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 3: a lot to say about these diets.

540
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 1: Tell me about this, because that after I had my son,

541
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 1: I did keto for about a year. I would tell

542
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: me the thanks.

543
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, and how did you respond to it? You felt good?

544
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 1: I did? Yeah? I Actually what I something that I've

545
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 1: been learning about myself. I've been in my own kind

546
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 1: of you know, experimentation phase with what actually works for

547
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 1: my body. There. I spent seven years as a vegetarian,

548
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: and then I've tried raw veganism and I was so

549
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 1: sick the whole time. And I've actually found that I

550
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 1: thrive by eating organic meat. I love meat. I eat

551
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: meat it for my body. And I know a lot

552
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 1: of people will have different thoughts on this, and I'm

553
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 1: sure people listening and you know, this may be disappointing.

554
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: You know, I'll hold space for that. But meat, like

555
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 1: having meat in my diet is really important for my

556
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 1: vitality and my health. Yeah.

557
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wrote an ebook called Nourishing Our Sanity and

558
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 3: it's about like it's a full length ebook, like twenty twenty,

559
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 3: and it's about the importance of eating animals for women's physiological, behavioral,

560
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 3: and mental health. And again, like, there's plenty of people

561
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 3: out there that disagree, and I'm not like peddling a diet. Yeah,

562
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 3: and so I'm not convincing. Yeah, I understand that anyone

563
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 3: wants to eat a certain way is going to eat

564
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:49,960
Speaker 3: that way, and we have the luxury in the modern

565
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 3: world to do that, but that doesn't necessarily always mean

566
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 3: that it's the healthiest. And I think also we don't

567
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 3: have a lot of longitudinal data for diets, and I

568
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 3: think that's a big thing that we as a species

569
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 3: are not super great at, like looking ahead like understanding

570
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 3: how we're eating right now is going to affect us

571
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 3: in five years, ten years, And that's like to you know,

572
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 3: to kind of like go into the pro metabolic bio

573
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 3: energetic component, like you know, approach to nutrition. We're looking

574
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,879
Speaker 3: at stress, like that's a big component of what we're doing.

575
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,360
Speaker 3: Is our diet contributing to stress at the level of

576
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 3: the cell, the physiology, the main metabolic organ systems, are

577
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,319
Speaker 3: they actually getting what they need so that you're not

578
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,799
Speaker 3: running off of stress hormones. And I think a lot

579
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 3: of diets and like approaches to health, you know, they

580
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 3: have like a short term benefit. They like the short

581
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 3: term you can feel really good, and I think a

582
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 3: lot of people don't understand like what they're doing to

583
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,800
Speaker 3: their body like five years down the line, especially again women,

584
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 3: because we are so sensitive to stress and deficiencies, Like

585
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:53,840
Speaker 3: we're set up to almost like have like a brain

586
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 3: that monitors where we're at nutritionally, and.

587
00:34:56,719 --> 00:35:00,759
Speaker 1: So can you speak to that delay. Something I talked

588
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 1: about in a recent episode was a doctor that I

589
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 1: worked with, shout out doctor will Cole. The amazing something

590
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 1: that he kind of put on my radar is how

591
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: much of our gut health is completely impacted by childhood

592
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 1: food choices. And so, you know, I had a working,

593
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 1: single mom growing up, and so she was busy. You know,

594
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: she was busy, we were surviving. There wasn't a lot

595
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: of time. And so that's when McDonald's was on the scene.

596
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 1: That's when a lot of these places. So I eat

597
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: McDonald's almost every day, you know, And the effects of

598
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 1: that didn't start happening in my body till my thirties,

599
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: and my health started suffering, and I was like, how

600
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,200
Speaker 1: do I almost have leaky gut? Like I eat great,

601
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:46,360
Speaker 1: But it was from some of that kind of you know,

602
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 1: that childhood foundation.

603
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I think that's definitely true. I think a

604
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 3: lot of us have a lot of repair work to

605
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 3: do as adults, because you know, we live in a

606
00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 3: culture that even if you have money and you have

607
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 3: two parents, they don't necessarily know about nutrition.

608
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 2: It's not like baked into the culture.

609
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 3: And then if you don't, if you have like a

610
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 3: broken home or you're you know, living in poverty, which

611
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 3: was definitely like my childhood, then you're just kind of

612
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 3: eating whatever is available. Yeah, And so I think this

613
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 3: is like a big problem for a lot of us.

614
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:19,720
Speaker 3: That we do have these childhood foundations of like you know, malnourishment,

615
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 3: and then we go into men arc like we go

616
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 3: into this like period that's really energy intensive for our bodies.

617
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 3: We were going from being a woman to you know,

618
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 3: you could obviously men have similar things too, but for women,

619
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,320
Speaker 3: it's like you're going into womanhood starting your period. You

620
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 3: could actually become a mother, and we don't have the

621
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 3: resources there to deal with that transition. So you'll see

622
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 3: like a lot of women that start there, they start

623
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 3: to struggle with their health and their teen years because

624
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 3: if that energy intensive transition into womanhood is not backed

625
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 3: by anything, like, they have no foundation from which to

626
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 3: actually do that well, So they end up with like

627
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 3: you know, acne, they end up with mental illness, they

628
00:36:57,719 --> 00:36:59,839
Speaker 3: end up with eating disorders, and that's when they're put

629
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:05,399
Speaker 3: on usually like birth control and antidepressants or something. Can Okay, WHOA, sorry,

630
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,359
Speaker 3: I don't know if that was like that wasn't really

631
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:11,719
Speaker 3: a direct answer to question. No, I'm well, I'm just

632
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:12,760
Speaker 3: like a whole other tangent.

633
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: I want to sit in this so bad. Oh my god,

634
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 1: the nuance of this. Okay, hold on a second, because

635
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,840
Speaker 1: there's you really said a lot, And there are so

636
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 1: many connections to be made and bridges to be kind

637
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 1: of created from what you just said. So, h can

638
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 1: you go back to how is nutrition lack thereof in

639
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:49,879
Speaker 1: those teen years, those transitional years for women's bodies, How

640
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 1: is that impacting mental illness? Mental health? Some of those

641
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 1: conversations I know a lot of for those that are

642
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 1: familiar with like BPD borderline personality disorder or different kind

643
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 1: of disorders that affect your emotional responses, those are typically

644
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,840
Speaker 1: they typically go undiagnosed, but are the signs are first

645
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 1: seen in adolescence. So yeah, please, however, however best to

646
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:20,840
Speaker 1: share this is fascinating?

647
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So I think it's like important for that,

648
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 3: just like the foundations of understanding nutrition, to understand that

649
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,279
Speaker 3: like nothing in our body is produced for free. So

650
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:33,919
Speaker 3: like everything that we rely on to have, you know, consciousness,

651
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 3: to have a personality, to have a physiology, is produced

652
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 3: out of a chemical something, right, So like that's what

653
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,359
Speaker 3: nutrition is. It's not just like, oh, I'm eating because

654
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 3: it's good for me, and you know, it's like no,

655
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 3: you're actually eating to survive, to exist at all. And

656
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,439
Speaker 3: so that's what essentral nutrients are it's like we can't

657
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,720
Speaker 3: produce them, so we take them from our external environment

658
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 3: and they become our internal environment and then our biochemistry works.

659
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 1: It just works.

660
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,280
Speaker 3: And since we don't have like a culture of health

661
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 3: like health norms, a lot of people don't get their

662
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 3: nourishment needs met early in life. So I think because

663
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 3: when we're younger, we're in a growth stage to the

664
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 3: from and evolutionary perspective, like we're really important when we're young, right,

665
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 3: like where we grow into a certain age and then

666
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:20,359
Speaker 3: I like to joke that like, oh, you could eat

667
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,319
Speaker 3: cardboard and you'd probably be okay, and you wouldn't get

668
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 3: an autoimmun condition till you're like twenty, you know, twenty

669
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:29,439
Speaker 3: or something. But like, so there's a lot of malnourished,

670
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 3: dysregulated children in this culture, and that you know, moving

671
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 3: again to addo lescence when hormones are changing, like your

672
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 3: nature is moving you into an adult where you could

673
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:45,240
Speaker 3: produce life. You're becoming like a leader in the culture.

674
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,239
Speaker 3: You're becoming like a participant in the culture and a

675
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 3: co creator in the culture. And so you need all

676
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 3: of that energy and you haven't gotten it, or you

677
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 3: haven't gotten it efficiently and potentially, if you have again

678
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 3: complex trauma, you haven't gotten enough of it to match

679
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 3: the demands of your nervous system response. And so so yeah,

680
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 3: so like again, the nutrients that we take in, you know,

681
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:10,280
Speaker 3: they all play roles in like you know, the enzymes,

682
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,799
Speaker 3: like the spark plugs that make everything work, like those

683
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 3: are built out of like minerals and proteins. So if

684
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,359
Speaker 3: you're not getting enough, you're just your oxidation rate, which

685
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 3: is usually pretty fast. So oxidation rate is like metabolism

686
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 3: and oxidate. Metabolic rate and oxidation rate.

687
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:26,760
Speaker 2: Could be used interchangeably.

688
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 3: It basically just means like how quickly is your body

689
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 3: burning through its resources, like your cell burning through its resources.

690
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:37,360
Speaker 3: So children, most children have fast oxidation rate, like just naturally,

691
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 3: so they're burning through their resources. But if they're not

692
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 3: getting replaced, then you get to these like stages of

693
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 3: important you know, developmental shifts, and you don't have the

694
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 3: resources to like meet the demand. So this is in

695
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,440
Speaker 3: my opinion, like what a lot of mental illness. And

696
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 3: again I can't I'm not an expert in like specific

697
00:40:56,600 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 3: mental illnesses, but I was diagnosed with OCD anxiety disorder

698
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 3: depression blame me a body dysmorphia. Like I was medicated

699
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 3: for all kinds of stuff and diagnosed with that with

700
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 3: like all of those things when I was a teenager,

701
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,919
Speaker 3: and like looking back, I had complex trauma and malnourishment

702
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 3: Like that's that was like, and no one asked me

703
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 3: about that, right because that's we just don't have a

704
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:23,160
Speaker 3: language for that in this culture. And so yeah, so

705
00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 3: it's I think for a lot of women's is you know,

706
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 3: this is a similar path for a lot of my

707
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 3: female clients that they go through where they have this

708
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 3: like really difficult teenage experience and they'll often use you know,

709
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 3: substances or something to like try to get through it.

710
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 3: And then they you know, they're in their twenties trying

711
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,360
Speaker 3: to figure out what the hell happened. And then in

712
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 3: their thirties is when oftentimes they're like late twenties, second

713
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 3: half of their twenties, thirties, so when the like deep

714
00:41:49,560 --> 00:42:00,120
Speaker 3: peeling is possible because they have a little bit more stability.

715
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 1: So much of what you said makes me so emotional

716
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:10,280
Speaker 1: for so many reasons. I just want to call out

717
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 1: for people there is a real truth and like being

718
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 1: disadvantaged in every way at such a young age. You know,

719
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:30,280
Speaker 1: it's like there so many people who have had challenging

720
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 1: experiences when we you know, to bring back forward this

721
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 1: idea of shame or something being deficient, or just not

722
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,279
Speaker 1: write about you, like not a life just can't go

723
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:44,879
Speaker 1: well for you, you know, and you're trying and you're striving,

724
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:48,840
Speaker 1: and you still can't understand why things seem easier for

725
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 1: other people. You know, I remember personally having that feeling

726
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 1: in college. I had to work so many jobs. Someone

727
00:42:57,040 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 1: that meant the world to me was murdered, got hit

728
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 1: by a car, all this stuff, and just my life

729
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:06,439
Speaker 1: was hard. It was so layered and complex, and it's

730
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 1: like I was like, why can't I just get ahead?

731
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 1: Like why can't I have these ideas, I have, work ethic,

732
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:17,240
Speaker 1: I have, you know, a big beautiful heart, Like why

733
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 1: don't things go well for me in the way I

734
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 1: see them going well for other people? And I know,

735
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,799
Speaker 1: I mean, I just hear from thousands of people. There

736
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 1: are hundreds of millions of people truly that have these experiences. One,

737
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 1: you are not alone. If you're listening to this, you

738
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:38,120
Speaker 1: are not alone, You are not deficient, nothing is wrong

739
00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:44,279
Speaker 1: with you. And also that thing that feels like projection, right,

740
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 1: like that, looking that, noticing that comparing you are right,

741
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 1: you did have less in every way. Your emotional needs

742
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:56,239
Speaker 1: most likely weren't met. You had childhood emotional neglect potentially,

743
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 1: and then you also have all these other things where

744
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 1: if you're not nerves in all the ways a soul,

745
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: a being, a body needs to be nourished to live,

746
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 1: there will be this sense that isn't just a sense,

747
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:14,919
Speaker 1: it's real that you were slightly behind other people in life,

748
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 1: and then you feel like you can't catch up. So

749
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 1: I want to call that out that you're not crazy,

750
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 1: You're not crazy, You're not crazy. Things were harder for you,

751
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 1: things were different for you. Healing is more challenging for

752
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,480
Speaker 1: you than it is maybe for the person you know

753
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 1: who seemed to have gotten through that experience and they're

754
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:40,240
Speaker 1: doing just fine, and you can't understand why it's taking

755
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 1: you longer. It's not happening. You're right, you're right, it's valid,

756
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 1: it's true. You're right. I think from this baseline of

757
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:55,600
Speaker 1: where we arrived, and thank you so much for just

758
00:44:55,760 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 1: the excellent teaching of all of those dynamics so important

759
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:11,799
Speaker 1: that we understand that that deeply. Well, now that we

760
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:15,840
Speaker 1: have arrived here, I want to bring us back to

761
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,799
Speaker 1: the deepest intention of my heart for this episode, which

762
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 1: is building practice and process in your life. Because all

763
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:27,879
Speaker 1: those things are true, they are real. And when we

764
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:33,400
Speaker 1: understand the complexity and how dynamic our healing has to be,

765
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 1: that's when the transformation is able to happen. That's when

766
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:39,640
Speaker 1: the health in your body, that's when the health in

767
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 1: your soul, in your brain, and your behavior is able

768
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 1: to transform, and it can happen. It can happen, it

769
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 1: will happen. But process, process and practice. So for all

770
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 1: the things that have just been said, all of the

771
00:45:56,760 --> 00:46:01,759
Speaker 1: layers of how we are very often starting not at

772
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:10,240
Speaker 1: ground zero, we're starting at ground negative a million from there.

773
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 1: How do we build ourselves? How do we transcend those

774
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:22,239
Speaker 1: experiences and that lack of adequate attention and nourishment?

775
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, I mean there's a lot, you know,

776
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 3: there's a lot of things I could say. I think,

777
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 3: for one, understanding that if you want to heal, like

778
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 3: if you want to build your life up from a

779
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 3: place of I want to be healthy, I want to

780
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 3: expand I want to be you don't want to grow

781
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 3: into the person I meant to be connect and live

782
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 3: from my true self. Then that has to be a

783
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:47,320
Speaker 3: priority that you make, and that may not be something

784
00:46:47,320 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 3: that the culture tells you you should do or should prioritize,

785
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 3: because you you know, you really hit on something when

786
00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:57,320
Speaker 3: you said if you have complex trauma, you may feel behind,

787
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,600
Speaker 3: like things have been harder, you've had to take longer,

788
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 3: you may have had chronic illness, like so understanding that

789
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 3: like healing means you're going to have to create your

790
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 3: own trajectory and value system and ideas of success.

791
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 2: And I do think in this.

792
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 3: Culture women have a lot of us are told that

793
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:17,120
Speaker 3: success looks a very specific way and you should have

794
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:20,320
Speaker 3: you know, very specific milestones hit at a certain time

795
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:22,359
Speaker 3: and you should look a certain way while you do them.

796
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:23,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think.

797
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 3: It's natural for our species to an extent to be

798
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 3: like looking over our shoulder to see what the other

799
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 3: person's doing and like trying to do the normal or

800
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 3: acceptable thing so you can fit in. And you know,

801
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:37,719
Speaker 3: like we want to be accepted, We want to be

802
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:41,800
Speaker 3: you know, like loved by others. But like to an extent,

803
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 3: you really have to like take on take your life

804
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:49,160
Speaker 3: as your unique life. And understand that it has to

805
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:51,600
Speaker 3: look different, right, so like it does not have to

806
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 3: look like anybody else's and it doesn't have to move

807
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 3: at the pace that you know, mother culture or like

808
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:01,920
Speaker 3: some subculture tells you. So that's the first thing I

809
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:05,360
Speaker 3: think is just understanding that like healing can be success

810
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 3: in and of itself.

811
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, my god, it's what we're here for. Ultimately,

812
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:14,919
Speaker 1: it's to be ourself, our most vibrant self. It's none

813
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 1: of these societal constructs, even though that's the time that

814
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 1: we live in. What I'm hearing in everything that we're

815
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 1: saying and I want to really drive home is when

816
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:28,839
Speaker 1: we talk about self care. This is what we mean

817
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 1: when we talk about the importance of self care. This

818
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 1: desiring of a life that feels softer, more nourishing, more beautiful.

819
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,680
Speaker 1: This is the step to get there. Self care is

820
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: not simply taking yourself shopping or doing something that's to

821
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 1: pick me up for the mood that you're currently in.

822
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:52,840
Speaker 1: Self care isn't something you do to distract or to

823
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:58,480
Speaker 1: be in performance with. It's what the words say, yourself

824
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 1: and care. You need to take care of yourself, You

825
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:06,040
Speaker 1: need to meet your needs, You need to find out

826
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:10,879
Speaker 1: what you need. If someone listening is really ready to

827
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 1: dive into more of like that process, what could be

828
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 1: a couple first steps to say, how do I recognize

829
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:20,719
Speaker 1: what it is that I need and how do I

830
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:26,240
Speaker 1: begin to create my system to meet those needs?

831
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:27,879
Speaker 2: Yeah?

832
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 3: I think number one is you have a body and

833
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:33,279
Speaker 3: that body needs stuff. It needs nutrients, it needs light,

834
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,200
Speaker 3: it needs air, it needs movement, it needs touch, So

835
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 3: like are you getting those things? Like that's really important

836
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 3: because I think a lot of us can try to

837
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 3: bypass basic stuff by getting supplements or like eating a

838
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 3: certain diet, and it's like, are you getting enough sleep?

839
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 3: Are you getting touched every day? Are you getting sunshine

840
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:51,879
Speaker 3: like fresh air?

841
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 2: Are you moving?

842
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:56,320
Speaker 3: So like baseline stuff like your body needs these things.

843
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:58,520
Speaker 3: I used to work with children, so, like you know,

844
00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:00,480
Speaker 3: my background is in child development. I feel like the

845
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 3: kind of like simple principles of what we teach children

846
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,879
Speaker 3: how to perceive themselves and care for themselves and talk

847
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:09,400
Speaker 3: to themselves. Like all of that stuff still applies to

848
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,839
Speaker 3: you as an adult and you have all these little

849
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 3: children inside, Like that's what part's work is, right, You're

850
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:16,719
Speaker 3: taking care of all of your little children, So are

851
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 3: all of your children taking care of Like are all

852
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 3: of your parts taken care of? And so I look

853
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 3: at how that shows up in the body, like somatic parts,

854
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 3: but that I think that can show up in your emotions,

855
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:29,879
Speaker 3: that can show up in the thought patterns that you have.

856
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:32,760
Speaker 3: Are you caring for all of these parts?

857
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 1: Yeah?

858
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 3: And then I think, so that's one thing, is just

859
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:38,799
Speaker 3: like caring for the body. You have a body, you

860
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 3: can't bypass it. You have to take care of it.

861
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,280
Speaker 3: And then secondly like looking at ways that you can

862
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:49,440
Speaker 3: integrate into your life or integrate your days into your body.

863
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's the best way to describe

864
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:56,319
Speaker 3: that or you know, to frame that, but like a

865
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 3: lot of us are living in our heads and so

866
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 3: so I think in this culture we cater to that.

867
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 3: We cater to like what we call top down, which

868
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:07,520
Speaker 3: is like upper brain functions we go through. That's what

869
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 3: talk therapy is, even mindfulness meditation, a lot of that

870
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 3: is just going through those like upper cord quid functions

871
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 3: of the brain to kind of like narrate our lives,

872
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 3: kill ourselves, what's happening in our lives. So we have that,

873
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 3: we have that that where we're living and then we

874
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 3: have the felt sense, which is like everything underneath that

875
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:28,840
Speaker 3: that's like the temperature, the like climate of our lives.

876
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 2: How do we feel?

877
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 3: And so like a lot of us, we have checked

878
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 3: out of various parts of our felt sense in our

879
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 3: bodies for a reason. It's not just like it doesn't happen.

880
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:41,759
Speaker 3: So telling someone to just like go drop into their

881
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:44,720
Speaker 3: body could actually be very scary and threatening and confusing

882
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:48,240
Speaker 3: for them. Yeah, So I would say, like understanding, again,

883
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 3: you have a body. You have to inhabit it and

884
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:53,240
Speaker 3: care for it, and you need to figure out ways

885
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 3: that you can do that in like a minimal effective dose,

886
00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:58,800
Speaker 3: so you're not overwhelming your system by just like opening

887
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:02,360
Speaker 3: Pandora's box. But also understand, we live in a culture

888
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 3: that is very top down, and so we have like

889
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 3: institutions and norms and environments that are catering to us

890
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:11,279
Speaker 3: being up here. Yeah, and so there's things you can do, right,

891
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 3: like go to a yoga class, or like go to

892
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:16,560
Speaker 3: some somatic class or you know, like there's certain places

893
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:19,960
Speaker 3: where you can go where it's more socially acceptable to

894
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:22,680
Speaker 3: slow the brain down and drop down into the body

895
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 3: breath work or something. Yeah, but doing that yourself every

896
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:31,440
Speaker 3: day and finding little ways to cater to that small amounts,

897
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:33,839
Speaker 3: Like you don't have to just dive in and then

898
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:36,760
Speaker 3: just expect yourself to feel everything all the time. Yeah,

899
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:41,560
Speaker 3: that's not usually, that's not safe or realistic. So you

900
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:43,279
Speaker 3: have a body, you need to inhabit it, you need

901
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:45,479
Speaker 3: to take care of it. And then also, I think

902
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:49,799
Speaker 3: another one is grieving. I think that's actually from Oh

903
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 3: I just got like goosebumps from my experience of working

904
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 3: with my own complex trauma. There's so much grief to

905
00:52:56,640 --> 00:53:00,160
Speaker 3: be felt once you start inhabiting your body. Yeah, and

906
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:02,320
Speaker 3: I think this is true for people who have complex

907
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:06,240
Speaker 3: trauma and people who don't. Also, like, I think complex

908
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 3: trauma is a spectrum. It's not like a disease you

909
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 3: have or don't have. So that's important to understand too.

910
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:16,080
Speaker 3: Like it's a developmental it's a set of embodied experiences,

911
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:21,880
Speaker 3: developmental delays, disruptions, stoppages in your body and your brain

912
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 3: as a result of things happening or you know, environmental

913
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,719
Speaker 3: stuff happening. But like that can look so different for

914
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:31,120
Speaker 3: different people. Yeah, but even if you don't have any

915
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:35,799
Speaker 3: of that, there's a lot of room for grief when

916
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:40,560
Speaker 3: you're doing healing work, when you're doing embodiment work, and

917
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:43,320
Speaker 3: when we start to tap into stuff like stored memory

918
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:45,880
Speaker 3: in the body, oftentimes a lot of the things that

919
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 3: we weren't in a place to feel in different phases

920
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:52,280
Speaker 3: of our lives starts to come up. And so again,

921
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:55,279
Speaker 3: this is where you have to, like, it's important to

922
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,680
Speaker 3: create space for that, to create safety for that, to

923
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 3: create language and relationship around that, so you don't just

924
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:05,799
Speaker 3: push it back down or feel completely flooded and dysfunctional.

925
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 1: That's so important. Thank you for saying that. I've shared

926
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 1: this on the show previously, but I want to bring

927
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:18,239
Speaker 1: it forward again for those especially as you're looking to

928
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 1: grow your practice and grieving. It's so necessary to make

929
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:28,040
Speaker 1: time to grieve. I found that in some moments that

930
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:30,520
Speaker 1: have been maybe some of my most busy moments, but

931
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:34,800
Speaker 1: most charge moments. I'll literally set an appointment to cry,

932
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:37,760
Speaker 1: you know, like I'll look at my calendar and say, Okay,

933
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,959
Speaker 1: you are going through a lot. You cannot open any

934
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:44,640
Speaker 1: of it up for the next three days. You just can't,

935
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:47,360
Speaker 1: but it's got to come out. So then you know,

936
00:54:47,360 --> 00:54:50,520
Speaker 1: I'll look ahead and I'll say Friday, I'm going to

937
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 1: drop my son off at school. I actually have the

938
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:56,719
Speaker 1: whole afternoon and I'll settle into a practice. I have

939
00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 1: a grief playlist that has songs that I know really

940
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 1: invoke me emotionally to feel whatever needs to be felt,

941
00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:07,920
Speaker 1: and you just sit with yourself, and that'll look differently

942
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,680
Speaker 1: for each of us. I'm kind of a stoic crier,

943
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:13,400
Speaker 1: so I just have like I sit there and then

944
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,720
Speaker 1: I just have like these waterfalls coming down my eyes.

945
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 1: But I'm kind of still about it. Yeah, but you might,

946
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:20,800
Speaker 1: you know, there are moments where you might want to

947
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:23,719
Speaker 1: hold yourself to support yourself, put a little pressure on

948
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:29,239
Speaker 1: your body, maybe bring some sent in, maybe have textures

949
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:33,120
Speaker 1: nearby that feel good to you, have a temperature that

950
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:37,319
Speaker 1: feels good. But there are so many ways to make

951
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:39,879
Speaker 1: it uniquely your own, and I hope everybody will because

952
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 1: that part of the process is just invaluable. It's huge.

953
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:49,080
Speaker 1: It's huge for everyone listening to this show and really

954
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:53,040
Speaker 1: thinking about ways that you want to expand on this new,

955
00:55:53,160 --> 00:56:00,479
Speaker 1: deep into journey. I want to always remind you that

956
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:04,839
Speaker 1: this is a slow, beautiful work. You do not have

957
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:07,920
Speaker 1: to get to the bottom of how your body works,

958
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:12,960
Speaker 1: how your body heals today this weekend. In fact, I

959
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:17,280
Speaker 1: would like to encourage everyone listening to take the next

960
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 1: two years to research, explore, and be with yourself without

961
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:27,560
Speaker 1: any judgment. You don't even have to quantify it for

962
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:31,320
Speaker 1: the next two years, just observe yourself, Just study yourself,

963
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 1: and keep experimenting, keep trying new practices. Anytime you want

964
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:39,680
Speaker 1: to run from a practice, stop doing it, ask yourself why.

965
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:41,759
Speaker 1: On the other side of that question, there may be

966
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 1: a very valid reason that leads you to the next

967
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:47,040
Speaker 1: thing you should try, or it leads you to one

968
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 1: of the walls you have up inside for yourself, and

969
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:53,400
Speaker 1: then you have the opportunity to disarm it, greet it,

970
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 1: release it. So take time with this. None of this

971
00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 1: has to be done immediately. All of it is meant

972
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:05,760
Speaker 1: to be in slow process. And in that slow process,

973
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 1: as you're spending all this time hopefully with your body,

974
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:17,080
Speaker 1: with your lifestyle, with your diet, with the different practices

975
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:20,280
Speaker 1: you take on, you also get to find a little

976
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 1: bit more of your true self. You get to uncover

977
00:57:22,920 --> 00:57:26,680
Speaker 1: the truth of your personality, the truth of your emotional responses,

978
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 1: the truth of your desires, and the empowering feeling of

979
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 1: knowing you have the ability to meet needs that may

980
00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 1: have never been met before inside of yourself. As we

981
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 1: close out this show, Kimber, thank you so much for

982
00:57:42,080 --> 00:57:45,080
Speaker 1: joining me. Thank you, thank you for your work beautiful.

983
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:47,960
Speaker 1: I like to ask, how can everyone connect with you?

984
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can find me on Instagram at Kimber Malden

985
00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:54,720
Speaker 3: and you can also find me at my website Kimbermalden

986
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:58,920
Speaker 3: dot com. And yeah, that's mostly the social media I'm

987
00:57:58,960 --> 00:57:59,960
Speaker 3: open to doing right now.

988
00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:04,040
Speaker 1: And all the information will be underneath this episode, especially

989
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:07,240
Speaker 1: if you're listening on Apple Podcasts. Scroll down and everything

990
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:09,480
Speaker 1: is linkable so you can check it out directly from

991
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:16,720
Speaker 1: your podcast listening streaming service. When I close out the shows,

992
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 1: I like to offer every guest and opportunity to share

993
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:23,560
Speaker 1: what we call here soul work. So after we've listened

994
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 1: to this episode and everyone is kind of being with

995
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:28,680
Speaker 1: the essence of it, a way to be in process

996
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 1: with it and integrate it over the course of this

997
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 1: next week. That can look like a specific activity. It

998
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:37,440
Speaker 1: could look like an inquiry, a journal prompt of some sort.

999
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:42,600
Speaker 1: Whatever you think might be best to explore after this

1000
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:43,479
Speaker 1: episode is heard.

1001
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:49,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say explore slowing down so like look

1002
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:51,760
Speaker 3: at what slowing down means for you and find a

1003
00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:54,400
Speaker 3: few things that you can do to anchor yourself into

1004
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:57,680
Speaker 3: the moment to slow down, to kind of observe what

1005
00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 3: happens to you. And this I would say, do this

1006
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:05,520
Speaker 3: without your phone, Like, do this without a screen, because

1007
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:07,919
Speaker 3: when we're looking at a screen, and we're looking at

1008
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:10,720
Speaker 3: a phone, that's usually what people are looking at. You're

1009
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 3: you're sympathetic, dominant, like you're actually triggering the convergent ocular

1010
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:17,520
Speaker 3: functions that directly send the message to your brain that

1011
00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:21,200
Speaker 3: you need to be like really focused and kind of upregulated.

1012
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:24,560
Speaker 3: And so I tell like I have clients take you know,

1013
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:27,120
Speaker 3: ten fifteen minute breaks throughout the day to go and

1014
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 3: look at the sky because that actually triggers like a

1015
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 3: down regulated state in the brain. And so it's slowing

1016
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 3: down and inducing a sense of awe. Like intentionally, I

1017
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:40,439
Speaker 3: think we might like stumble into those experiences in life

1018
00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:42,000
Speaker 3: and we go, why does that feel so good? And

1019
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:43,720
Speaker 3: then we like want to go back there, but we

1020
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:46,640
Speaker 3: our lives are not catering to it. But I would say, like,

1021
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:49,480
Speaker 3: just for you know, for an amount of time, do

1022
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:52,560
Speaker 3: like a you know, an experiment. How do I feel

1023
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:58,280
Speaker 3: when I integrate slowness and awe into my days because

1024
00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 3: it's actually, I mean, there's science to back this up.

1025
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:00,440
Speaker 1: You can.

1026
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 3: It actually improves the function of your brain and can

1027
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:04,560
Speaker 3: combat stress.

1028
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:06,600
Speaker 1: It will change your life.

1029
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:08,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, it will make you want to be here more.

1030
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:12,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it will make you want to be here.

1031
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:19,720
Speaker 1: It'll make you find so much beauty in the ordinary. Yeah,

1032
01:00:19,840 --> 01:00:23,160
Speaker 1: tiny joys. That is so beautiful. Thank you so much

1033
01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:27,120
Speaker 1: for joining. Yeah, you're welcome, Thank you, thank you for listening.

1034
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 1: Take a moment to rate and review this podcast five

1035
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:33,960
Speaker 1: stars please if you feel so called, and anything you'd

1036
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,080
Speaker 1: like to write and share. As always, you can find

1037
01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 1: me on Instagram at Debbie Brown and until next week

1038
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:44,800
Speaker 1: and I must stay today. The content presented on Deeply

1039
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 1: Well serves solely for educational and informational purposes. It should

1040
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:52,840
Speaker 1: not be considered a replacement for personalized medical or mental

1041
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:57,240
Speaker 1: health guidance and does not constitute a provider patient relationship.

1042
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:01,000
Speaker 1: As always, it is advisable to consult your healthcare provider

1043
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:06,200
Speaker 1: or health team for any specific concerns or questions. Connect

1044
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:10,160
Speaker 1: with me on social at Debbie Brown that's Twitter and Instagram,

1045
01:01:10,400 --> 01:01:12,760
Speaker 1: or you can go to my website Debbie Brown dot

1046
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:16,000
Speaker 1: com and if you're listening to the show on Apple Podcasts,

1047
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:20,360
Speaker 1: don't forget, Please rate, review, and subscribe and send this

1048
01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:23,400
Speaker 1: episode to a friend. Deeply Well is a production of

1049
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:27,680
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network. It's produced by Jacqueis Thomas,

1050
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:32,520
Speaker 1: Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown. The Beautiful Soundbath You

1051
01:01:32,600 --> 01:01:37,640
Speaker 1: heard That's by Jarrelyn Glass from Crystal Cadence. For more

1052
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:41,960
Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app or wherever you

1053
01:01:42,120 --> 01:02:00,800
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.