Speaker 1: What's up is Angela? Ye, it's lip service. I'm GG McGuire.
Speaker 1: Stephanie is on a delayed flight so should be here momentarily,
Speaker 1: but we got Creature Turner here with us. By the way,
Speaker 1: you should check because I know there's a lot of
Speaker 1: storms and I'm flying to Toronto, and Toronto had a
Speaker 1: snowstorm last night, so maybe okay, we'll keep our friends
Speaker 1: here a little bit longer with you all right now.
Speaker 1: We always start lip service once with the tip of
Speaker 1: the day, and today's tip is when you're with somebody
Speaker 1: who has kids, how and you break up? How do
Speaker 1: you break up with the kids? Do you still keep
Speaker 1: in touch or do you have to cut off contact?
Speaker 1: What's your tip your advice for that. That's a hard one.
Speaker 1: I've actually experienced that, And just because the kid was
Speaker 1: young enough that I didn't necessarily think that they remember
Speaker 1: me if I kind of detached immediately, low and behold.
Speaker 1: Like two years later, this girl, a little girl was
Speaker 1: that my autograph signing, and she was so excited to
Speaker 1: see me from my from an ex relationship, and she
Speaker 1: came with her grandparents and they came to see me.
Speaker 1: So it doesn't always actually work out the wa that
Speaker 1: you planed. She wasn't mad. She wasn't mad at all.
Speaker 1: She was so excited to see me. I didn't think
Speaker 1: she would remember me because at the time she was four.
Speaker 1: But I cold turkey did. It's hard to break up
Speaker 1: with somebody who has a kid because then you kind
Speaker 1: of missed the kids. It kind of sometimes makes you
Speaker 1: stay longer. It's true, It's very true. It's a hard thing.
Speaker 1: I personally, like I said, I call I cut it cold,
Speaker 1: just because I felt like, how do you even explain
Speaker 1: that now? If the kid was older, if it's older,
Speaker 1: if they're older, I feel like you would have to
Speaker 1: sit down and have a conversation, um, because they're gonna
Speaker 1: you know, they might even have your number by that point,
Speaker 1: and they might text you and I ask you, like, yo,
Speaker 1: where you at? Like we ain't going to the to
Speaker 1: the ball game this weekend or whatever else it is.
Speaker 1: But that's a hard one. I think once at a
Speaker 1: certain age, you kind of have to talk them through
Speaker 1: it right, explained to them like, you know, me and
Speaker 1: your dad aren't cool anymore like that, So I'm going
Speaker 1: to have to be at a more of a distance.
Speaker 1: But if there's something important that you want to let
Speaker 1: me know, you know, let me know if you got
Speaker 1: an amazing graint on your exam or whatever else. It
Speaker 1: is like, what if they're like, what about on their birthday?
Speaker 1: Do you send a message? Do you call say happy birthday?
Speaker 1: Do you get a gift? Do you get it? I
Speaker 1: think that would also have to have a conversation with
Speaker 1: the former significant other, ask them if they'd be cool
Speaker 1: with that, like do you still mind that, yeah, they're
Speaker 1: still the parent. Have that conversation with them, and then
Speaker 1: have it with the kid as well and feel it out,
Speaker 1: like you can't. Every situation is going to be different,
Speaker 1: and every child is going to be different. But that
Speaker 1: is definitely a hard one to do, especially you like,
Speaker 1: I hate my dad? Can I come stay with you?
Speaker 1: I calm down and discuss this through. That not good
Speaker 1: at all. I don't think I would be able to
Speaker 1: break up with the kids, right what if they are
Speaker 1: young like for I mean, I don't know, it's it's
Speaker 1: it's a hard even thought. But older children, I would
Speaker 1: leave the line of communication open, but I would definitely
Speaker 1: let the parents no, Like, you know, I'm not just
Speaker 1: gonna walk away from this person. I've created this bomb
Speaker 1: with this child, you know, even on walking away from you. So, well,
Speaker 1: you have a daughter. Now, what if you had a
Speaker 1: boyfriend and she would say when she was eight or
Speaker 1: when she was younger, and if you guys broke up,
Speaker 1: would you still let him talk to her, take her
Speaker 1: out by her presence? Yes, so that did have if
Speaker 1: she was if she was attached to him, or if
Speaker 1: they had that kind of relationship already and then me
Speaker 1: and him broke up, I would still allow them to
Speaker 1: have that same relationship because I don't I wouldn't want
Speaker 1: to take him out of her life if she really,
Speaker 1: you know, was attached to him or care for him
Speaker 1: like that. Okay, that's fair enough, all right. Now let's
Speaker 1: get into some questions. If someone you didn't like or
Speaker 1: if it to buy you a press, it would you
Speaker 1: accept it? And it's something you want, like something really nice?
Speaker 1: Like all right, I want to get you this ship
Speaker 1: now bag no strings attached, but you really don't like him,
Speaker 1: metal accept the present? Or do you say no, I
Speaker 1: can't take it because I don't want you to get
Speaker 1: the wrong idea. I would ask you, is that is
Speaker 1: there any criteria? Because normally they'll come with something like
Speaker 1: I'll buy you this if you go on a date
Speaker 1: with me. And if you think that, if you got no,
Speaker 1: I just want to get you something nice because you're beautiful.
Speaker 1: You need a beautiful bag to go with that beautiful face. Ship.
Speaker 1: I might take it. I'm definitely taking it. I like you.
Speaker 1: You're like like I would ask I like, hey, listen
Speaker 1: me too. I would definitely ask all kinds of questions,
Speaker 1: like so I don't have to go on a date
Speaker 1: with you. I don't have to this not alright business?
Speaker 1: But I would take it. And even if he tried
Speaker 1: to go on the day, I would spend his ass
Speaker 1: every time one But what if you got to meet
Speaker 1: him family give it to you? Well that to be
Speaker 1: the only time. Thanks, thanks baby. What if you have
Speaker 1: a boyfriend, and that is different if you're single, ingle, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to be single to do that. If you
Speaker 1: have a boyfriend, you can't take it. You can't take
Speaker 1: a gift. You can't take a gift like um like that?
Speaker 1: What did you want to see you in the mail?
Speaker 1: Do you send it back or do you keep it?
Speaker 1: What did he send a return addressed? Though? No, he
Speaker 1: just sends it in the mail. But you have his number.
Speaker 1: You could call him and be like, you know, I
Speaker 1: appreciate it, but I can't take it. Or do you
Speaker 1: just thank you? You know, one time I actually got
Speaker 1: a gift that I couldn't accept and I gave it
Speaker 1: to good Will. Why couldn't you accept it? Because it
Speaker 1: just wasn't appropriate in the situation. Really like it was
Speaker 1: somebody like you know, you could they were offering a
Speaker 1: business relationship, but you could tell it. You know, it'd
Speaker 1: always start. You could just play like you said business.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking this you could, But I gave it a
Speaker 1: good will. It was like this gorgeous like winter jacket.
Speaker 1: You gave it to good You couldn't give it to
Speaker 1: one of your friends at least good Come on, it's
Speaker 1: the same some one of your home girls, my friend.
Speaker 1: Oh this is true, This is true. I could have
Speaker 1: given it to one of friends. I give it a
Speaker 1: good willow. Okay, well, somebody got a nice coat. Somebody
Speaker 1: got a nice gass coat. Now here's another debate that
Speaker 1: I've had. Um, do you make somebody your boyfriend after
Speaker 1: you're in love with them? Or are you making somebody
Speaker 1: your boyfriend and then you fall in love? I have
Speaker 1: made somebody my boyfriend before I fell in love with them.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm starting to think as
Speaker 1: to reference of how old I was when you're young.
Speaker 1: When you're young, you definitely engage in a relationship far
Speaker 1: before you're ever in love. Like it's just a serious
Speaker 1: like like, oh my god, I like that. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: definitely infatuation. I feel like the older you get, you
Speaker 1: definitely most of my relationships have become official after you
Speaker 1: fall in love when you're older. Yeah, because why I'm
Speaker 1: gonna making my boyfriend if I don't see a future
Speaker 1: with you. Absolutely, especially because we have more of an
Speaker 1: understanding of time and the wasting of time, especially as
Speaker 1: the woman. Once you went to like you, I'm in
Speaker 1: my thirties, I'm ashamed to say it, so once you
Speaker 1: enter your thirties, like, I'm not trying to waste my
Speaker 1: time on any dust, frivel frillleness like Sultan. You know.
Speaker 1: So you say, Gi, have you made people your boyfriend
Speaker 1: before you were in love? Not and forget when you
Speaker 1: were younger as an adult? No, mm hmm um. I
Speaker 1: need that security. I need that that bond. I needed
Speaker 1: to be real before I make it into something right,
Speaker 1: So I would have to. Yeah, I would have to
Speaker 1: hold off on the real relationship until it gets to that, like,
Speaker 1: it has to get to that has to grow to
Speaker 1: that point. You just can't be like, oh, that's my boyfriend. Now, Christian,
Speaker 1: you've been married. What made you decide he was the one?
Speaker 1: When he was the one? When he was the one
Speaker 1: he was, Yeah, because he ain't the one no more.
Speaker 1: But at the time, you know, I'm able to look
Speaker 1: back and remember how I felt. I definitely felt like
Speaker 1: he was an individual that regardless of any of the
Speaker 1: problems that we might encounter, that we could overcome them.
Speaker 1: I felt we had a certain kind of connection, a
Speaker 1: certain kind of bond that you know, lifetime was a
Speaker 1: very logical option, you know, between me and him. That's
Speaker 1: how I felt at the time. Um, but yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I was twenty five at the time that
Speaker 1: I got married, and uh, he was twenty nine. Um.
Speaker 1: The evolution of a person is very different, depending from
Speaker 1: person to person. I thought we were definitely at a
Speaker 1: very settled place, but you know, people still kind of
Speaker 1: end up being different than then they started out being.
Speaker 1: That was what it was in my case. So, M well,
Speaker 1: it's okay, all right, and so so you felt like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're in love, we should get married. And then when
Speaker 1: did you realize it wasn't gonna work? Um, and I
Speaker 1: realized it wasn't gonna work when ship hit the fan
Speaker 1: and a whole bunch of how would you say? Situations
Speaker 1: that I did not ever imagine we're going on kind
Speaker 1: of presented themselves to reality cheaters. Yeah, oh that sucks.
Speaker 1: How long do you stay? Because we were talking about
Speaker 1: this now, we have a lot of questions that people
Speaker 1: have been hitting the email helped me at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: But when do you Because I know a lot of
Speaker 1: times we get ourselves situations, a guy cheats on us,
Speaker 1: crazy things happen, and we end up staying. It's true
Speaker 1: for me, I've always said that I can. I don't
Speaker 1: know from TARLT, but I can deal with normal nigga ship.
Speaker 1: Like if you're doing some normal nigga ship, then there's
Speaker 1: a there's a certain allowance like, yes, we're adults, we grow,
Speaker 1: we go through different things. There's periods of time within
Speaker 1: our relationship, especially if you're looking at a lifetime, that
Speaker 1: we might be disconnected, but it is always our goal
Speaker 1: to come back closer. But during those disconnections. I can
Speaker 1: understand how you could possibly confide in somebody else and
Speaker 1: gain an emotional connection and might slip up one or
Speaker 1: two times. But when you just stay parting some extra
Speaker 1: business mineral, I don't it's I have to take it
Speaker 1: a completely different way when you want some extra ship. Uh,
Speaker 1: it just it doesn't. It no longer falls within the
Speaker 1: lines of like I said, yeah, it becomes it becomes
Speaker 1: very disrespectful. And um, so you're saying you could excuse
Speaker 1: a couple of indiscretions when you're all going through your
Speaker 1: ups and downs. Yeah, this is this in modern day
Speaker 1: society with the ax sense that we have, you have
Speaker 1: to allow room for I think on both sides, like
Speaker 1: you never know and like I said, especially with the
Speaker 1: you're now taking in the span of a lifetime, Like yeah,
Speaker 1: talk sixty years, Like I don't know what you're taking.
Speaker 1: My grandparents just celebrated the sixties anniversary. My parents just
Speaker 1: celebrated their thirty first anniversary. Probably here we'll have a
Speaker 1: sixtieth anniversary. That it doesn't exist anymore. It doesn't exist anymore.
Speaker 1: But to me, if you're trying to take in that
Speaker 1: amount of time, there is going to be slip ups.
Speaker 1: It just depends on who you who, who your partner is,
Speaker 1: and how hard you're going to be willing to come
Speaker 1: back around full circle. You think women are weak for
Speaker 1: leaving a man for cheating. We absolutely not, because it
Speaker 1: was a big topic when Tammy said that about Waka,
Speaker 1: she was like, you know that's my husband. We took
Speaker 1: our vows and women who leave are weak, and it
Speaker 1: was a big respect controversy than you, like you said,
Speaker 1: to a certain level, you know, like it goes to
Speaker 1: a certain level. Why don't you cross that line where
Speaker 1: the disrespect is just like lat right and crazy? Then
Speaker 1: it's a rap? What's that line? Like, what are some
Speaker 1: things that's crossing that line? Don't get me to run
Speaker 1: it down the list. Not in my house right, not
Speaker 1: in our house? And then I'm not with the friends,
Speaker 1: not people that you know, like probably like I know,
Speaker 1: like there's there, there's definitely don't be messy. Don't mean
Speaker 1: nobody's kids getting caught. Can you imagine, don't don't be
Speaker 1: meeting the kids, don't be I don't know, don't yet,
Speaker 1: don't get caught, don't but don't don't have me out
Speaker 1: here looking crazy, like if you're gonna do something, do
Speaker 1: it on on the slide like you're intelligent. I like
Speaker 1: very intelligent men like that is what draws me in.
Speaker 1: So because I now you are of a certain intellectual
Speaker 1: capacity and you want some bullshit like right, you're smart.
Speaker 1: You don't have you don't have an excuse? Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? What if it's just a fetish thing,
Speaker 1: like there's something that you won't do and this chick
Speaker 1: will do it, and it's something like that's normally good ship,
Speaker 1: Like if I ain't gonna do it, that I can you.
Speaker 1: You have to equate as a human being. Logically, if
Speaker 1: I am not sufficing your vice, you are inevitable with
Speaker 1: this strap on. And and then you find me like
Speaker 1: baby hired somebody else to do? What if he hires
Speaker 1: someone would that bother? You know, if we had that
Speaker 1: kind of relationship, you didn't know because he's a shame,
Speaker 1: he's embarrassed. He doesn't want to tell you he's paying
Speaker 1: for pussy. He ain't paying for pussy, paying for dick,
Speaker 1: all right, forget the strap on. Okay, I just say
Speaker 1: he hires somebody and you know he just pays for it,
Speaker 1: and that's it is that worse than having an emotional connection.
Speaker 1: I'm going to say it lacks the most emotional connections,
Speaker 1: So it's a little bit different. I would just be
Speaker 1: a little bit more concerned about his mental health and
Speaker 1: be like, maybe do we need to go to maryor counseling,
Speaker 1: Like what's happening, what's really happening? You know, I'll be
Speaker 1: more thinking about the underlying what you call it. Like first, girls,
Speaker 1: some men just want to be tricks. You can't help.
Speaker 1: They can't help you. They can't help Some men just
Speaker 1: want to be tricks. They just want to trill. In
Speaker 1: that case, now you're Jamaican, so tell us the truth
Speaker 1: about these Jamaican men because it was all this controversy
Speaker 1: Jamaican ze pussy, right. It depends on the one. I
Speaker 1: know some that are very they stick to their guns.
Speaker 1: But then at the same time, you know who I've
Speaker 1: been in those relationships and I would not in Jamaica
Speaker 1: we say bow. So for me, I have been in
Speaker 1: a relationship where there was no oral sex. Girl, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I can do that because I'm like, yo,
Speaker 1: if you're not gonna give it to me, then I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna give it to you. He didn't complain, because
Speaker 1: how can you complain if you're not going to give
Speaker 1: it to me? That's amazing when you should do that.
Speaker 1: Oral sex needs to be reciprocated or not done at all,
Speaker 1: not or not done at all. But Jamaican man, you
Speaker 1: have had a Jamaican man. They were Americanized though, but
Speaker 1: straight No, Nope, because sometimes they might do it and
Speaker 1: I tell nobody to if it's between them and troll.
Speaker 1: But I haven't had that straight yad like that talks
Speaker 1: like that. They would kill you if you tell anyone.
Speaker 1: But some that have been Americanized, like they've lived in
Speaker 1: America for a number of years. Why rule that should be? Like,
Speaker 1: come on, what is it? I think it's ridiculous. Why
Speaker 1: is it that they don't like? What is it? Why
Speaker 1: does it make it? Yeah, they call it like manabo bowing,
Speaker 1: Like that's essentially a form of worship in a sense.
Speaker 1: So if you all want to look upon like Rastafarianism,
Speaker 1: you should not bow to anybody other than God. So
Speaker 1: like you can take it back to so many roots,
Speaker 1: like it could be associated with religion of bowing like you,
Speaker 1: It's it's interesting where they get there basically, But yeah,
Speaker 1: they just you know, to me, I could I was
Speaker 1: in a relationship to and I'm like, yo, if we
Speaker 1: get married, like you got to make an exception to
Speaker 1: this ship. You can't go out of each other. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I am now you're you're my king and I'm queen.
Speaker 1: Like a touchy subject, man. I really like it, really,
Speaker 1: especially with Jamaican's Oh my god, we got Sean Paulin
Speaker 1: is so much trouble really breakfast Club because he said
Speaker 1: he did it and then he tried to take it back.
Speaker 1: It was too late. He's he's he's a world traveler.
Speaker 1: He should have had his mind expanded by now. And
Speaker 1: he's married. Yeah, and he's married absolutely, all right. Now.
Speaker 1: We were also talking about Candy Burrows from Real Housebands
Speaker 1: of Atlanta, and recently there was this whole big controversy
Speaker 1: about her daughter Riley, and did you see this and
Speaker 1: the mom, the baby's mom, saying, well the daughters the
Speaker 1: daughter's mother waiting now the wife, the wife of the
Speaker 1: baby daddy, saying that Candy was aside, she was a
Speaker 1: side chick. And why would you expect your daughter to
Speaker 1: be taken care of like that? If you decide chick?
Speaker 1: Now let's just say you had a man, you were married,
Speaker 1: and he got the side chick pregnant. How do you
Speaker 1: treat that child? The child is never at fault as
Speaker 1: a woman. Child is never at fault you are. If
Speaker 1: you are a mother yourself or an auntie or whatever,
Speaker 1: you understand, the child entering the world is of complete innocence.
Speaker 1: They didn't ask to be there. They didn't tell them
Speaker 1: to carry bout their adult business. So at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, UM, I am definitely the type that
Speaker 1: I would say, you know, you need to take care
Speaker 1: of your pickney, right, needs to keep care of your seed.
Speaker 1: And are you right there taking care of the baby too? Um?
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm right there taking care of
Speaker 1: the baby. But does the baby got to come to
Speaker 1: the house. I don't have to. I mean, that's that's sticky,
Speaker 1: that's that's touchy, that's super touchy. But I have heard
Speaker 1: of instances where there are some women in that kind
Speaker 1: of situation that you know, they have gotten along and
Speaker 1: they've created a loving environment for this for the sake
Speaker 1: of for the sake of the child. So on a
Speaker 1: personal level, I am that child. My father was married,
Speaker 1: my mother was one of many side bitches, and he
Speaker 1: had me and my sister Nicki sixteen days apart. Neither
Speaker 1: one of us were by his wife, so and we
Speaker 1: were all raised one big, happy family. Now, our mothers
Speaker 1: didn't always get along when we were younger. They get
Speaker 1: along now, but when we were younger, they were always
Speaker 1: at war. But my father kept his children together. My
Speaker 1: father made sure all his children knew each other. We
Speaker 1: were all at you know, Christmas in my grandma's house
Speaker 1: and at the beach house and Wildwood every summer together,
Speaker 1: you know, like we were all the moms. Were the
Speaker 1: other moms nice to you? Like? Did they treat you well?
Speaker 1: Or were they a little whoa the one the one
Speaker 1: who had the daughter that sixteen days apart from me,
Speaker 1: she was the one who was bitter and she wasn't
Speaker 1: mean to me. But she wasn't the one that was
Speaker 1: like happy, go lucky family time. You know. She kind
Speaker 1: of kept her distance. My mother and his wife over
Speaker 1: the years created an amazing bond to this day, they
Speaker 1: still have that amazing bond. Oh, I'm glad you hear.
Speaker 1: Stephanie was very strong about this topic. We were talking
Speaker 1: about the side check with the baby baby like it's
Speaker 1: your own if you stay with the man. So anyway,
Speaker 1: I became you know, I was that baby. But I
Speaker 1: um have an amazing relationship with my stepmother, who they're
Speaker 1: still married, even that they're not together. Have an amazing
Speaker 1: relationship with her, like I love her as if she's
Speaker 1: my mom. I call her mom. She's really my other other.
Speaker 1: Just a few months ago, my brother's I'm sorry, my
Speaker 1: father's brother, my uncle passed away, I said at his
Speaker 1: general with both of our other inside of me, and
Speaker 1: that was an amazing feeling to have both of them
Speaker 1: with me at that time. It's amazing that women can
Speaker 1: do that. I feel like men can't handle it, and
Speaker 1: men can't handle that. That's a woman thing, like just
Speaker 1: because we understand the importance of nurturing and that the
Speaker 1: child is not it's not that fault. Yeah, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: amazing though, Steph, what's your take on it? Your man
Speaker 1: has a baby by somebody else, you stay with him,
Speaker 1: What happens with that child in your house? I mean,
Speaker 1: it depends. I don't think that it's during our relationship.
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not going to deal with the child.
Speaker 1: I don't have anything to do with that child. I
Speaker 1: think you should take care of the child and join
Speaker 1: and on, you know, the things, the milestones of raising
Speaker 1: a child, you know what I mean. But that's that's
Speaker 1: your business. You you played yourself like take care of it.
Speaker 1: To do that is not a part of my family.
Speaker 1: So what if you can can that kid? Then you
Speaker 1: know your son, your son together, well you have it again? Well,
Speaker 1: I um, I think yeah, I think that I think
Speaker 1: you should let the kids know each other. You know,
Speaker 1: I think if I have a lot of brothers and
Speaker 1: sisters that I didn't get to know until my adult years,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And I think that was
Speaker 1: foul of my parents, you know. So I think that
Speaker 1: the kids should be involved in each other's lives. But
Speaker 1: I don't see why I would have to be involved
Speaker 1: in that. But because your kid is there too, don't
Speaker 1: you want to know this child that's hanging around your
Speaker 1: kids and they can. I have to come over your
Speaker 1: house sometimes if you live with this man and the
Speaker 1: kid went to sleep over, I mean I could take
Speaker 1: the kids before me. I could take the kids before me,
Speaker 1: but the kids during and during because part of you
Speaker 1: decided to stay with her body after that happened, mean
Speaker 1: that you have to accept that this happened. You know,
Speaker 1: he has to accept that this happened. I have the business.
Speaker 1: I don't have nothing to doing that. No, I couldn't,
Speaker 1: I know, and I wouldn't. I mean, as a woman,
Speaker 1: if I was the mother of the side child, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want my my it around the other woman. No, No,
Speaker 1: I don't like my kids around other Me and my
Speaker 1: son's father haven't been together for four years almost, and
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not very comfortable still with him being
Speaker 1: around other women. You know, I haven't brought one man
Speaker 1: around my son. You know, my son's father was in
Speaker 1: a serious relationship, so he did bring a girl around
Speaker 1: my kids. And so what if he says, Stephanie, I
Speaker 1: really want my illegitimate child to come over. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess I would have to be
Speaker 1: and and in the situation, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: it's hope it doesn't happen. Yeah, as a baby, especially
Speaker 1: if I don't have any small children. Hell to the know,
Speaker 1: because I don't blue babies. I'm not changing his baby's papa.
Speaker 1: I'm not burping, no baby, I'm not wiping up, no
Speaker 1: spit up. I'm not riding. I'm making sure he stay
Speaker 1: out the toilet. I'm not doing it. If he liked
Speaker 1: four or five years old, and he can talk and
Speaker 1: potty train and you know, and going about his business
Speaker 1: and all of that, then maybe he can come over
Speaker 1: and take the kid. I'll take the baby too. If
Speaker 1: if I'm married to a man and he has a
Speaker 1: side baby and we take custody of the kid, also
Speaker 1: take custody, take kids away, they kid come over at all.
Speaker 1: I feel like the moment I saw that child, I
Speaker 1: would be like, no matter how I feel like, I
Speaker 1: want to see the babe like the sooner. The moment
Speaker 1: I see that change in mind, I feel like I
Speaker 1: would change my mind because the baby the mother and
Speaker 1: he would be like, oh but the baby it's not
Speaker 1: as fault like I feel like it's not. That's why
Speaker 1: I don't think that you should just bring child, bring
Speaker 1: a little right around where he about five guys, wholehearted.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, all right now, A lot of people
Speaker 1: ask some email questions, so I'm glad we're gonna get
Speaker 1: to some of these today for you guys to get
Speaker 1: some advice. Okay, how are you doing? I want to
Speaker 1: say his name I've been married for two years. I've
Speaker 1: been with my wife for five. I've had a few
Speaker 1: problems with cheating in the past, and I haven't cheated
Speaker 1: since before marriage. My wife recently explained that she has
Speaker 1: always been into women and one to threesome with the random.
Speaker 1: Of course, I'm down, but I'm afraid it start me
Speaker 1: cheating again. I love my family. I don't want to
Speaker 1: put us in this position for us to fail with
Speaker 1: my past. I'm more concerned with why my wife wants
Speaker 1: to open the door for me to sleep with other women.
Speaker 1: I've explained this, but she trust me. I don't want
Speaker 1: to not have less than passion to cause me to relapse.
Speaker 1: Another reason I don't want to it's because she has
Speaker 1: rules for certain things she won't do, so it won't
Speaker 1: be spontaneous and fun. And I've never had a threason
Speaker 1: I don't want rules involved. What do you think, don't
Speaker 1: do it? It's too much, it's too complicated if it's
Speaker 1: that complicated, because three sums are complicated in themselves, even
Speaker 1: when it is fun and random and no crazy rules,
Speaker 1: So it's it's a complicated situation anyway because there's so
Speaker 1: much going on. So if it has to be that complicated.
Speaker 1: Just say no, especially if you never did it before
Speaker 1: and you don't want to cheat on your wife and
Speaker 1: you relapse. He's like he was addicted to the pussy,
Speaker 1: to the outside pussy. He was chating. He's addicted to straight.
Speaker 1: But it's good that he can identify that he has
Speaker 1: an issue and scared that he's wi him good. However,
Speaker 1: my advice to that to that young man is just
Speaker 1: stay with your wife. And it's probably not time. Like
Speaker 1: if he still feel if he's that worried about because
Speaker 1: you know what mine said, I'm always say the only
Speaker 1: thing better than amazing pussy is new pussy. You know
Speaker 1: I say that all the time. It's so true. That's
Speaker 1: what they say, so in that even if it ain't
Speaker 1: good just because it's new, because just because it's new.
Speaker 1: Like if he feels so strongly, if he's reflecting that
Speaker 1: like strongly about the whole situation bus money, you're already
Speaker 1: stay away, Like give it a couple more years, maybe
Speaker 1: you'll be a little bit stronger what you say, step no.
Speaker 1: I think he's overthinking it. Man. You shouldn't do anything
Speaker 1: that you have to overthink like that. If you're thinking
Speaker 1: about something once or twice or three times. It's not
Speaker 1: meant for you to complicated. Has that ever happened? Stuff
Speaker 1: like you've been the third person and the guy I've
Speaker 1: been hitting you up and love what do you mean?
Speaker 1: I mean that step? I keep doing that. I'm talking
Speaker 1: to her. I know you're talking to me right way.
Speaker 1: I keep doing this as we're always together on group chats.
Speaker 1: Have I have you ever been the third person and
Speaker 1: that guy has been like hitting you up trying to
Speaker 1: holler aside from absolutely would you do it? Or you
Speaker 1: did it? I was like twenty two though they were married,
Speaker 1: and in the middle of our three she spassed out no, no,
Speaker 1: and then the initial three something that we had we
Speaker 1: only had one threesome, and in the middle of that
Speaker 1: she spassed out like I guess he was doing too
Speaker 1: much and she just couldn't take this, like he hadn't
Speaker 1: wait too much fun over here. It's like why are
Speaker 1: you fucking her like that? Or why can you imagine
Speaker 1: you have a threesome and the guy seems like he's
Speaker 1: more into it kind of got cut short because she
Speaker 1: likes freaked out like that's not fun, and then um,
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe two days later, he was on
Speaker 1: my phone like, yeah, so what's up. I'm gonna leave
Speaker 1: my wife at home. But I still have lou balls
Speaker 1: from that night. Yeah. I mean, I was really young,
Speaker 1: So I'll continue to see him. He was really nice
Speaker 1: to me financially, he was really really nice to guy.
Speaker 1: So I continue to see him because you know, Christie,
Speaker 1: you ever had a threesome when I was married? Yeah? Okay,
Speaker 1: so did that lead to cheating or do he do
Speaker 1: you know if he hit up the other girl? Like after, Uh,
Speaker 1: he definitely hit up the other girl after I did
Speaker 1: find that out. That's why things really opened the door
Speaker 1: for that. I feel like, was that your idea or
Speaker 1: his idea? Um, it was a mutual kind of idea.
Speaker 1: And who picked the girl? He did? They always say
Speaker 1: the woman is supposed to pick I I actually expressed that,
Speaker 1: but I understood that he had a slight reservation about it,
Speaker 1: and at the time I didn't quite know why. But
Speaker 1: that kind of that's another story. That's an evolution of
Speaker 1: understanding everything else that happened or four from the marriage.
Speaker 1: But it was a control thing, very much a control
Speaker 1: thing because he was it was he was just because
Speaker 1: he was doing other things that makes them, you know,
Speaker 1: uncomfortable about allowing. Yeah, yeah, that's it tapped into so
Speaker 1: many other subconscious things. But yeah, he who do you
Speaker 1: pick as a woman If you're like I want to,
Speaker 1: do you pick a stranger or do you pick a
Speaker 1: friend um or just an acquaintance? Like, what's the top pick?
Speaker 1: Would you say out of those three friends, an acquaintance
Speaker 1: or a stranger? Not a stranger? I would, I would.
Speaker 1: I would go to more of a friend or acquaintance.
Speaker 1: But it's very specific with who it is though. In
Speaker 1: my opinion, my first pick would be an acquaintance, My
Speaker 1: second pick would be a stranger stranger okay, and last
Speaker 1: my last pick would be a friend. My first pick
Speaker 1: would be a strange I knew you were going to
Speaker 1: see from the while my man watches, and the second
Speaker 1: pick would be what second pick? That's it? There is
Speaker 1: no I can't like no, I went and I went
Speaker 1: in with one of my friends, one of my home girls,
Speaker 1: and my man like, no, it's apprentished. What kind of
Speaker 1: strange do you pick? Do you pick a girl that
Speaker 1: looks beautiful or do you not want her to look
Speaker 1: too good? And I would prefer her ask not to
Speaker 1: speak no English. Were go on the Dominican Republic. That's good,
Speaker 1: that's really no. But you don't need to speak no English.
Speaker 1: Open your mouth all right. Now, here's another question. A
Speaker 1: family member lost custody of her four year old daughter,
Speaker 1: and my husband and I assume legal custody of her.
Speaker 1: To make a long story shirt, she's not allowed to
Speaker 1: have contact with her mother. She's been our daughter for
Speaker 1: a year now. When she refers to her mother, she
Speaker 1: calls her by her first name. When she refers to me,
Speaker 1: she calls me mommy. While I'm blessed she sees me
Speaker 1: in this manner. I'm uncomfortable with her calling her mother
Speaker 1: by her first name. Should I be encouraging her to
Speaker 1: refer to her mother there as mom or mommy? No, yrsel,
Speaker 1: of course, she needs to teach the little girl. You
Speaker 1: can't have her court, especially if you feel uncomfortable with it.
Speaker 1: She's in her life right away, I guess. So, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a family member. So yes, she needs to This
Speaker 1: is your mommy. I'm your thief, I'm your I'm your auntie,
Speaker 1: I'm your you know, I'm your sister. Just make something something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you get married, it's your child, call your husband
Speaker 1: dad my child. Yeah, Like if you get married and
Speaker 1: that's the stepfather, is that daddy crazy? No? No, no,
Speaker 1: I think you have a father. You know who your
Speaker 1: father is? You can't don't father will fuck you up myself, period,
Speaker 1: I think yourself. I think if the child is really
Speaker 1: really young and that person raises that child and the
Speaker 1: father isn't in their life, it's perfectly okay, right, it
Speaker 1: depends on how old it is, and it depends on
Speaker 1: if the father is in the life. I don't talk
Speaker 1: about me right right personal if the father, but if
Speaker 1: the father is like in and out, he's around, and
Speaker 1: if the kid, what if your kid is just like daddy,
Speaker 1: And do you say no, no, no, no, no, that's
Speaker 1: not your dad. Yeah, that's exactly you say, no, that's
Speaker 1: not your daddy. But he's he's with us every night.
Speaker 1: But that's why, I, honestly, back to the subject, I
Speaker 1: feel really uncomfortable bringing my kid around other men. Like
Speaker 1: my son is ten though my son, my son is
Speaker 1: already he knows too much. Yeah, he knows what's going on.
Speaker 1: Like I don't ever have to worry about like my
Speaker 1: son will will laugh out of guy. That's asked him
Speaker 1: to call him daddy, like what like his father's his
Speaker 1: best friend. So but even still, like I I wouldn't
Speaker 1: want like if I had a man, even even in
Speaker 1: a situation side baby shit, I wouldn't want that kid
Speaker 1: calling me momm your mother not your mother? Correctly, kids
Speaker 1: yourself like or do you tell me? But you don't
Speaker 1: have to be rude about it. You don't have to
Speaker 1: be mean. You know, say no, no, I'm not your Mamah.
Speaker 1: I love you, you know, I love you so much,
Speaker 1: but I'm not your mom. You said, maybe no, call
Speaker 1: me exactly exactly, like really nicely. All right, Now here's
Speaker 1: a good one. Um. I've been married to my husband
Speaker 1: for many years, but it's really a merite of convenience.
Speaker 1: I stayed with him all these years, kind of like
Speaker 1: a financial safety net. I have someone I'm terribly in
Speaker 1: love with and would like to take steps to try
Speaker 1: and get closer. To the issue is I did a
Speaker 1: prenup with my husband, but it's invalid because I didn't
Speaker 1: have my own lawyer to represent me. I could easily
Speaker 1: divorce him now and get a great deal of money
Speaker 1: from him, but this could drag out for a long time.
Speaker 1: Keeping me away from my lover longer. And you know,
Speaker 1: basically she's wondering should she just give up getting this
Speaker 1: money to be with the person that she loves or
Speaker 1: stay for financial reasons. No, I mean she needs to
Speaker 1: get what's old to her. You know, calm down, everything
Speaker 1: is a process. Don't calm down. It's don't be so quick,
Speaker 1: and you can continue to build your relationship with whoever
Speaker 1: you're with. And what if things don't work out with
Speaker 1: that person and you just sucked yourself over. You have
Speaker 1: to take care of yourself first. Always put yourself first, creation,
Speaker 1: financial security, financially, I mean, you already did it. You
Speaker 1: already been in the marriage, then the marriage for convenience.
Speaker 1: You already put yourself there. So take the time to
Speaker 1: take yourself out and get what's yours. So don't she's
Speaker 1: just trying to dip out and just say bye to
Speaker 1: she's with him because financially she's secure. Their prenup is invalid.
Speaker 1: So she found somebody else she loves, but he don't
Speaker 1: have no money. Well, it sounds like to me this
Speaker 1: is inevitably like soon to be ended marriage, reguardless if
Speaker 1: she's in love with another man, or she finds the
Speaker 1: next one or something like, if she's just there for convenience,
Speaker 1: you to divorce regardless, just by law, she will get
Speaker 1: whatever it is that she's allotted to in theory. Um
Speaker 1: to me, then why you even staying, Like, just start
Speaker 1: the process. Start regardless of exact man, you start the
Speaker 1: process the sooner it will be yeah, yeah, regardless of this,
Speaker 1: do you're in love with? Is stays the one you're
Speaker 1: in love with? Like, this is a process that needs
Speaker 1: the problem is that she doesn't have a job and
Speaker 1: she has no money, and neither do the new guys
Speaker 1: to stay with the hell she had, Yeah, they married
Speaker 1: and learn how to cheat and confidence. I don't get
Speaker 1: that broken dick on the side. She could you know,
Speaker 1: she can get her divorce. I'm saying if she, I
Speaker 1: mean she could, she can get she can start the
Speaker 1: divorce while you know, staying financially secure, and then still
Speaker 1: go ahead and get that broke Niga vacation dick on
Speaker 1: the side. You know, I mean not that long of
Speaker 1: a process. It'll take a we don't know how much
Speaker 1: her husband is worth. If her husband is worth enough,
Speaker 1: it might be a long ass process. If he were
Speaker 1: thirty thousand dollars. How long do you think how long
Speaker 1: do you think that would take? If that motherfucker's worth
Speaker 1: more than like email, it could take up to five years.
Speaker 1: Oh god, that is a long like easy to stay
Speaker 1: in a marriage and so okay, so you're saying stay,
Speaker 1: but she don't appreciate you're saying I think that to me,
Speaker 1: the way that she speaks of them. It's in the
Speaker 1: level process. So started now, right, regardless of this other man? Right,
Speaker 1: because you're yeah, you're gonna be revisiting this question every
Speaker 1: time you find a new money and right, if it's
Speaker 1: gonna take five years, might as well, might as well
Speaker 1: at the process. Now, do y'all want a prenup when
Speaker 1: you get married? I wouldn't mind signing a prenup if
Speaker 1: I'm in love with the person i'm married. It's not
Speaker 1: matter if you love it don't matter. What would you
Speaker 1: playing your pup? What would you want it to be
Speaker 1: like if you had? Because you know you can make
Speaker 1: anything you want, any rules you want. I would be petty. Listen,
Speaker 1: I want Madonna's Mariah Carey's inconvenience feed. That's right, right?
Speaker 1: If they never got married, so it don't matter, right,
Speaker 1: millions yours. You didn't get it right, I didn't get married,
Speaker 1: but she was trying to get it for me, trying
Speaker 1: to get guess for being a girlfriends for being the girl.
Speaker 1: We just added inconveniency with that. Well, we don't know.
Speaker 1: She might get it. That's probably a process because you
Speaker 1: can put anything in the prenup. You can say if
Speaker 1: you cheat on me, I get this. I would be
Speaker 1: just because I can't. Like what kind of things could
Speaker 1: you see yourself putting in it? I don't know that
Speaker 1: would say you think it is there half half? No,
Speaker 1: I mean, what's the point of Like, that's the whole
Speaker 1: point of signing a prenum, So you can't take calf Well, no, no,
Speaker 1: you put whatever you want in the prenup. The prenup
Speaker 1: because they you get half. It's just whatever you want
Speaker 1: to put in it. It's just a contract that you
Speaker 1: make up. But depending on the state, like it might
Speaker 1: it might already be ou to half. I don't think
Speaker 1: I'm ever gonna cath. Onlything I'm gonna have to Arizona
Speaker 1: isn't be single with my whole life. If I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna get married. What if you have more money than him?
Speaker 1: Would you be willing to give up half? No? No, no,
Speaker 1: she said that hurt. I don't want to take half
Speaker 1: of I don't. I'm not one of those women. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't be enough. Marriage of convenience. I like to make
Speaker 1: my own money. I like to have my own ship.
Speaker 1: I like to be able to spend my money how
Speaker 1: I want to spend, and I have to let somebody
Speaker 1: know what I'm doing, you know, so, I don't ever.
Speaker 1: I think if I were to get married, it would
Speaker 1: be a prenum where it would make sense for both
Speaker 1: of us. You know what, if he doesn't want you
Speaker 1: to work anymore, he's like, Okay, we're gonna get me,
Speaker 1: but I don't want you to work anymore. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: handle all of that. Don't do a girl up. I can't.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think I want to work my
Speaker 1: whole life. It just depends on what I have going on.
Speaker 1: If if if work is over, if it's if it's
Speaker 1: like okay, stuff, it's time to hang it up. They
Speaker 1: say he's worth fifty million. He like, I don't want
Speaker 1: you to work. Fifty million is not enough. I don't
Speaker 1: think so. There's got a lot of money that you
Speaker 1: can invest. Yeah, but you know what, there's there's guys
Speaker 1: that make fifty million in a year even Atlanta a lot,
Speaker 1: but but million. He should be able to flip that
Speaker 1: and make it. So let's say he doesn't want you
Speaker 1: to work, where'd you start working? Like I said, it
Speaker 1: depends on what I'm doing for work. If what I'm
Speaker 1: doing for work is something that matters and it's something
Speaker 1: that's making a change in my life and in the
Speaker 1: people's lives around me, I'm not gonna stop working. But
Speaker 1: if I'm not really doing anything, if I'm just doing
Speaker 1: regular ship, and I feel like it's to hang it up. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right, baby, I don't. Let's work on us. If
Speaker 1: you were getting married, he said, Look, you ain't gotta
Speaker 1: work no more. I got us. It depends Listen. I agree.
Speaker 1: It's the same thing like if because for me, music
Speaker 1: is something that I love. Job, right, if you want
Speaker 1: me to give up that, like, no, We're gonna have
Speaker 1: to talk this out. That's what I'm saying. Just working
Speaker 1: at the post office. But now though you are doing
Speaker 1: what you love, let's say he I don't like you
Speaker 1: doing all that, and like we can have discussions because
Speaker 1: if you reason you're saying that you don't want me
Speaker 1: to work is because you want me to have babies.
Speaker 1: We can talk this through, like, Okay, we have a
Speaker 1: certain period of time. Yes, I will make sure that
Speaker 1: I will have the babies, take care of them, all
Speaker 1: this other kind of stuff, But then we're gonna reach
Speaker 1: a certain point where this is something that I want
Speaker 1: to be able to incorporate again at some point. You
Speaker 1: can't just expect me to just go cold turkey on.
Speaker 1: It's so hurt that once you do give it up
Speaker 1: to try to get back to it because they miss
Speaker 1: you're not doing it. So there's a whole bunch of factors.
Speaker 1: But I just feel like if I'm creating, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna stop working. But if I'm not creating anything amazing,
Speaker 1: let's create. I mean, not stop being a stripper for
Speaker 1: my man. Okay, we didn't get married though, and you
Speaker 1: feel like that was a good decision though, Yeah, definitely
Speaker 1: it was a good decision because you didn't want to
Speaker 1: do it anymore or well, you know, I know I
Speaker 1: still help up when I could have still got that
Speaker 1: good Well come on, yeah, you know, However, I'm in
Speaker 1: in hindsight I'm glad that I did stop when I did,
Speaker 1: and um, but if I had some other type of
Speaker 1: job that wasn't you know, not that stripping is bad.
Speaker 1: But I don't want you to do in live service
Speaker 1: no more, you know, because you like, I'm not one day.
Speaker 1: I mean, I understand, I understand why he didn't want
Speaker 1: me to dance anymore. And you know that was you
Speaker 1: know that some people say that's how I met you,
Speaker 1: and and you people here gonna say I don't want
Speaker 1: you in that environment. Like I don't know, like if
Speaker 1: a guy told me we're gonna get married, but you
Speaker 1: have to, you know, give up everything that you started.
Speaker 1: No more, no no, no more. Stephanie Santiago, you're just stuff.
Speaker 1: I don't know what if he's delete your Instagram, I
Speaker 1: need to get married. If I'm in love with somebody,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be like, all right, yeah, I'm gonna delete
Speaker 1: my Instagram for my husband, not for a boyfriend. Though
Speaker 1: that's weird. If he the prenup saying that I ain't
Speaker 1: getting shipped, then no, I'm not deleting my ship. It
Speaker 1: depends on what the prenup says, because if you want
Speaker 1: me to completely erase any of my potential, like structures
Speaker 1: that makes money. You make me sign a prenup to
Speaker 1: not get no money if we break up? Okay, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like to me, I'm looking at it. There.
Speaker 1: I need to ensure like if we if this doesn't
Speaker 1: work out, allow me to have my resources to make
Speaker 1: money once we no longer exist. So unless our prenups
Speaker 1: says that we didn't say, why are you acting like
Speaker 1: it's not gonna work out anything? Did you have a
Speaker 1: prenup when you were married? No? No, I was a
Speaker 1: financial superior. Actually did get you. He lucky. That's all
Speaker 1: I can say. I'm the type of person I left.
Speaker 1: I just left. All I took was my clothing up
Speaker 1: because I didn't want any of it, Like I didn't
Speaker 1: want any carm I didn't want the couch, I didn't
Speaker 1: want the I don't want nothing. So I left him
Speaker 1: with everything. Some people say that once you love somebody,
Speaker 1: you never stopped loving them. Is that you mm hmm?
Speaker 1: It depends There's always some right, but I think it
Speaker 1: depends also on how you ended. It depends on how
Speaker 1: you ended. Like I've been in a relationship where I
Speaker 1: felt the person that I was with I found out
Speaker 1: was a completely different motherfucker than the person I thought
Speaker 1: I was dealing with. I do not love that man,
Speaker 1: because the man I was in love with does. It's
Speaker 1: not you. I feel like, um, it doesn't matter how
Speaker 1: it ended, because sometimes you end and you're ready, and
Speaker 1: sometimes you and and you're just not, you know. So
Speaker 1: I feel like time matters. Like with time, you you
Speaker 1: forget everything, you know, all things here with time, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So I just feel like, after
Speaker 1: a while, it doesn't even matter. So like I feel
Speaker 1: like Derek I was with, Can we added his name
Speaker 1: out please? Because I keep saying anyway, right, I feel
Speaker 1: like with my son's father, you know what, Like I
Speaker 1: was so in love with him when we broke up,
Speaker 1: but you know, after a couple of months then a
Speaker 1: couple of years, you know, I love him. I love
Speaker 1: him a lot, but I can't see myself being in
Speaker 1: a romantic relationship with him, you know, Like I can't
Speaker 1: see myself being I can't say that I was never
Speaker 1: in love with him, because I definitely would. You still
Speaker 1: love him. I still love him, but it's not the
Speaker 1: same kind of because you guys have a child together.
Speaker 1: If there's somebody that you don't have to have. That's
Speaker 1: another thing, Like there's there's guys that I swore I
Speaker 1: would die for, Like I would give up my life
Speaker 1: for these men that's today. I look at them and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I can't even believe I would give
Speaker 1: you my pussy, let alone my life if I give
Speaker 1: him my life. Did you see that guy's people so
Speaker 1: where he did the fake with the cops like pull
Speaker 1: the guns on him. I heard of I read about it.
Speaker 1: I didn't see it though, and she like jumped in
Speaker 1: front of the police. He wasn't sure if he was
Speaker 1: going to propose, so he set up this whole thing
Speaker 1: with the cops like pull up on him, drew their guns,
Speaker 1: and I just want to know what he was gonna do.
Speaker 1: She didn't jump in front of them. She'd be like,
Speaker 1: not want what they're here because she jumped in front
Speaker 1: of the police and the gun like he then knelt
Speaker 1: on his knee and proposed, I wouldn't want to marry
Speaker 1: you after you put me through that. That's a hard
Speaker 1: that's like traumatizing, especially with everything that's going on, Like,
Speaker 1: give me a break. Would he have jumped in front
Speaker 1: of those guns too? He wasn't even sure if you
Speaker 1: wanted to marry him. Yeah, listen, you don't even know
Speaker 1: if you want to propose to me. I'm supposed to
Speaker 1: jump in front of a bullet For what is the
Speaker 1: perfect proposal? I think I would like somebody proposing me
Speaker 1: like alone. I don't want to in front of like alone,
Speaker 1: like somewhere really private and just us. That's one, right.
Speaker 1: I mean we've seen things like we said how Gucci
Speaker 1: just proposed to Kesha R at the game. That was cute,
Speaker 1: that that was cut. I don't even like embarrassed because
Speaker 1: I don't like that attention. I didn't think, oh my god,
Speaker 1: why did you do that? Yes, yeah, I think the
Speaker 1: perfect proposal for me would be like on a vacation.
Speaker 1: But what do you know, It's really cute when Beyonce's
Speaker 1: dancing choreographer when they were doing single Ladies and then
Speaker 1: she had the choreographer, I guess the two of them
Speaker 1: both were like work with Beyonce and then he proposed
Speaker 1: her during the dance and that was cute. And I
Speaker 1: just think for me, I don't have a specific perfect proposal.
Speaker 1: All I know is what will make it perfect is
Speaker 1: the fact that he thought about it, right, It's all
Speaker 1: about the thought. What if the ring is completely not you? Oh,
Speaker 1: what about the same my style. Let's go, let's go
Speaker 1: go swap that bang out. Where is this for the
Speaker 1: rest of my life? Let's go figure this out. But
Speaker 1: you can't learn to love the ring. No, I mean
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be, Like it depends on what I like.
Speaker 1: Like what were we talking about? Is the ring too cheap?
Speaker 1: Or is it just not your style? Not your sty
Speaker 1: It looks like financial just not your style. It looks
Speaker 1: like the Queenie I mean personally, and I like that goal.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want it to I wouldn't want it to
Speaker 1: be I would want it yellow gold. I wouldn't want
Speaker 1: it white gold, like everybody likes white gold for engagement
Speaker 1: rings like yellow. Yeah, I would want to yellow. And
Speaker 1: I would want it to be a square. Yeah, everybody
Speaker 1: like that halo. I don't like that halo. So I
Speaker 1: don't want my diamond. They have no halo. I just
Speaker 1: want my Would you want him to ask you, like,
Speaker 1: what kind of ring you want? No? But I want
Speaker 1: him to figure it out. Yeah, I want him to
Speaker 1: figure out this a woman thing, figure it out, just
Speaker 1: to figure this ship out and I want like a
Speaker 1: really nice band with diamonds in it and square one
Speaker 1: diamond to the amount of car big one? How many
Speaker 1: carries you would I don't know. I'm not sure. I
Speaker 1: haven't really researched that, crea. What was your proposal? Like?
Speaker 1: But I wanted to be big and so bad, even
Speaker 1: though I'm noxious ob noxious, but even though I even
Speaker 1: though I don't like you saw that that post running
Speaker 1: through social media with the girl her husband bought her.
Speaker 1: I had rings from from the but she they didn't
Speaker 1: even have any money, and she just told him I
Speaker 1: don't care, I don't want anything, and to get her
Speaker 1: something like. I think that was she got that my proposal.
Speaker 1: I didn't even get a ring. You didn't, I didn't.
Speaker 1: You didn't do that paper ring like Apollo with him
Speaker 1: no paper I didn't even get a paper ring. So
Speaker 1: how was that proposal? It was listen, it was completely
Speaker 1: off guard and I wasn't even in that. Did he
Speaker 1: just say it on a whim? Let's ask in Hennessey girl,
Speaker 1: let's get married. Yes. I don't think he was prepared
Speaker 1: at least running down. How did this happen? All the
Speaker 1: whole the whole time though he was super He was
Speaker 1: actually acting the entire evening super weird out of it,
Speaker 1: super weird. Like we went for like a like a
Speaker 1: dinner and a movie or whatever was in the movie.
Speaker 1: Kept kissing my head like really loud, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I kept like it was a it was the movie?
Speaker 1: Was it for us? It was? It was Avatar Avatar? Okay.
Speaker 1: I think it was like it was like almost close
Speaker 1: to Christmas or something like that, but it was super.
Speaker 1: It was just, you know, it wasn't anything like what
Speaker 1: did you say? I don't even remember, you know, how
Speaker 1: long it going? Oh my god. But still I would
Speaker 1: think that's like a momentous occasion that you never forget.
Speaker 1: I was trying to block it out of my memory.
Speaker 1: And I'm my happy divorces. You've been divorced too, I
Speaker 1: mean the divorce you've been proposed to. I've been engaged
Speaker 1: twice two times. I was engaged to my son's father
Speaker 1: and I was engaged to my boyfriend before my son's
Speaker 1: father was engaged. Since though those um the first one
Speaker 1: he proposed to me, it was he brought me a
Speaker 1: ring and all of that. He got down on one me,
Speaker 1: but he did it because he gave me a fucking
Speaker 1: black eye. So he felt bad and he asked me
Speaker 1: to marry him after that. That's the only way for
Speaker 1: me to get back with him. I said, yes. I
Speaker 1: was like, I was like seventy, I was a kid.
Speaker 1: So and then you know, I was Me and my
Speaker 1: son's father. We wanted to get married. We wanted to
Speaker 1: get married for a little while and then I'll changed
Speaker 1: my mind. How did he proposed? It was just a conversation.
Speaker 1: It was just he never brought me a ring either.
Speaker 1: We weren't even worried about getting the rings. We just
Speaker 1: we wanted to um he wanted, We wanted to. He
Speaker 1: wanted to give me his name so we could all
Speaker 1: be Rodriguez, all three of us. You think you're gonna
Speaker 1: keep Santiago to when you get in. No, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take my husband's last name because my name is really long.
Speaker 1: Guys like, hopefully why name man? Like, do y'all know
Speaker 1: my middle name, Stephanie Florence Santiago. We're talking about six
Speaker 1: fucking letters. Break. My mother's name is Florence. My father
Speaker 1: wanted my name to be Florence. That was his first choice.
Speaker 1: He was so in love with my mom, the most
Speaker 1: beautiful woman in the world, the second most beautiful Florence,
Speaker 1: the Florence junior women are not junior. I know, I kidding,
Speaker 1: but anyway, my mom's alright, I start talking my middle
Speaker 1: names because my sound like a whole different league. What
Speaker 1: is it? My name is Calthini. Oh my god, that's
Speaker 1: way worse than mine. So let me say that. Where
Speaker 1: did that come from? My My mama was a hippie.
Speaker 1: It's like a Hindu or something. You know what it means? Yes,
Speaker 1: it means quiet water child, definitely not quiet choir trying
Speaker 1: to be quiet sometimes depending on you. Sometimes you'd be quiet,
Speaker 1: depending on your mood. Yeah, depending on the mood. Cretia,
Speaker 1: would you did you change your last name? Would you now?
Speaker 1: Because you've got a brand? We all you know you
Speaker 1: have a brand too. That's why I didn't think he
Speaker 1: would change it depends. I would probably change it legally,
Speaker 1: but still gold by it. Depending where his last name
Speaker 1: is too. Yeah, yeah, exactly. My stage name would still
Speaker 1: be the same, but legally changed. Changed you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Right? What if his last name is like
Speaker 1: gay Lord? No, I'm not changing just kidding. It all
Speaker 1: depends on how it just sounds together. Yeah, Stephanie Florence
Speaker 1: Santiago gay Lord gay Lord like a funked up last name. Though,
Speaker 1: what if it's like Zimmerman. No, I'm not trying to
Speaker 1: do zimmer Man either. Man. Like my sister's last name
Speaker 1: is Bomb, but I don't think I want bombed either.
Speaker 1: Her last name, No, that gotta flow. Stephanie Bomb was
Speaker 1: her last name. Her last name was her last name.
Speaker 1: That's Italian, It's like real, authentic Italian. Her last name
Speaker 1: is gian Bastiani. I like that, Stephanie Santiago John That's fancy, right,
Speaker 1: it sounds I want to say, that sounds rich, and
Speaker 1: so I will take a name like that, even though
Speaker 1: it's super domb. Long is longer than mind? Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: definitely longer than all. Right, here's that last question before
Speaker 1: you go catch your flight, Creatia. I'm a twenty two
Speaker 1: year old guy. I have two girls to choose from.
Speaker 1: One has to other looks. I could win, but she's
Speaker 1: not as ambitious your mature as I am when it
Speaker 1: comes to working money. The second is perfect when it
Speaker 1: comes to maturity ambition, but she's not the best looking.
Speaker 1: Who should I pick? Young man? This you are only
Speaker 1: asking this question because of your age. Um. If you
Speaker 1: want to look at it like a business proposition, if
Speaker 1: you're buying something that depreciates with age, or you buy
Speaker 1: something that that increases its value with time. The only
Speaker 1: thing that does that is a woman that's going give
Speaker 1: you more than just her looks, because looks alone depreciates.
Speaker 1: So if you're a businessman and you're own business mind, yeah,
Speaker 1: go up, yeah, go after the y'all. Let you know
Speaker 1: like that, it sounds like, you know, she's a good investment,
Speaker 1: she's a good investment at that age. You know, he's
Speaker 1: probably not ready for that. He's not. He's only thinking,
Speaker 1: you know, so he needs to he needs to he
Speaker 1: needs to be with the pretty girl. So you know,
Speaker 1: that doesn't get a lot of mind. Just gonna be
Speaker 1: with that girl and cheat with the pretty girl, That's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. That doesn't have the mind, you know,
Speaker 1: so you can see how trash that and get it out,
Speaker 1: Just get it out. So he said, go see how
Speaker 1: trash that is. Go be with some trash experience. Let's
Speaker 1: not have more asked them be And what a dumb
Speaker 1: if he if he if he gets with him, he
Speaker 1: will quickly realize how valuable be you. That's what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: you know, with the idiot it's twenty two, give yourself
Speaker 1: a couple a couple of years. How I'm playing a
Speaker 1: liks to you guys, like for a man for me business,
Speaker 1: it's important, yes, Like I like my guys to be
Speaker 1: bomb bomb face bomb body bomb bomb. Like I feel like,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. I feel like. You know, you get
Speaker 1: what is offered to you, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And I am fortunate enough to be able to be
Speaker 1: with some fine acid niggas, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So for me, for me, you know, like I was
Speaker 1: in a relationship with somebody who wasn't very good looking,
Speaker 1: you know, and I didn't people, not not my I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna speak specific, but people used to look
Speaker 1: at me like like what is she doing with that?
Speaker 1: You know, like, and I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that again. It's important. I
Speaker 1: feel like you could get somebody. Yeah, I feel like
Speaker 1: you could get somebody who you're I just want to
Speaker 1: be really attractive and imagine ugly dude on Instagram with
Speaker 1: you have. It's not fun even like that bad. It
Speaker 1: was a good angle, you know, you gotta do that. No,
Speaker 1: But but my thing is, um, you know, what I'm
Speaker 1: attracted to isn't what everybody else is attracted, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? So I could think my man is
Speaker 1: fine as fun and everybody could be like, what is
Speaker 1: she like? You know, I just need to have that,
Speaker 1: you know, I just need to for me to be
Speaker 1: with somebody, even just not even in a serious relationship,
Speaker 1: just for me to be with somebody sexually, I need
Speaker 1: to be like fifty percent attracted to them. It looks
Speaker 1: still matter to you that much. No, I for me,
Speaker 1: Once I'm like mentally attracted to somebody, magically, they just
Speaker 1: look so much better than like I'm gonna. I understand
Speaker 1: that about myself. Like if I need to mentally attracted
Speaker 1: to you, you are so fine to me, and even
Speaker 1: that about so fine to me, but attractive, but attractive,
Speaker 1: But there's something different that I see. We all look
Speaker 1: good in the duck. I feel like I gotta get
Speaker 1: that physical attraction before I could even try to get
Speaker 1: to know the mind. But then sometimes that's to me
Speaker 1: that happens more in a situation of like you fall
Speaker 1: for the friend like this niked just your friend the
Speaker 1: best Those are usually the most long last thing. You're
Speaker 1: not even kicking it with him because of the way
Speaker 1: he looks like you just this is your friend, and
Speaker 1: then you fall in love and then he just looked
Speaker 1: way better than exactly. I agree, and that's true. That
Speaker 1: that's why I've been through that. I could relate to
Speaker 1: that like that. Yeah, I remember even happened. Christian. We're
Speaker 1: gonna let you go catch it flight because I want
Speaker 1: you to miss it. And we appreciate you. We had
Speaker 1: a really good time you came to We appreciate your
Speaker 1: openness and honesty. I heard I was gonna really like you,
Speaker 1: so it worked out. You know, I have fun with
Speaker 1: you ladies. Where you live now? I live in l A, Okay,
Speaker 1: but Toronto, Jamaica l A. Well, I haven't been in
Speaker 1: Canada for years, but I've frequent l A and Jamaica
Speaker 1: a lot. Okay, I frequent Jamaica as well. I love Jamaica,
Speaker 1: but I love Jamaica too. I'm not I'm touristy. I
Speaker 1: go to Oto Rio, Kingston. I have not yet been.
Speaker 1: You have been except the airport. Let me tell you
Speaker 1: where I've been. I've been the Briton Spanish Town. Oh,
Speaker 1: I used to live in Spanish Town. I've been there.
Speaker 1: I stayed there for two weeks. When I was doing
Speaker 1: in Spanish Town, girl, I was doing some ship that
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have been doing. I like, Yo, you should
Speaker 1: I to jail for. Yeah, I was on some dumb
Speaker 1: sho I shouldn't have been when I was nineteen years old.
Speaker 1: Went to jail. Now, that is what I want to
Speaker 1: jail for. Really, No, it is I was nine. I
Speaker 1: didn't know she went to jail. Yeah, yeah, we were
Speaker 1: to see you. Listen, folks, listen names stay with from
Speaker 1: Spanish tone. Yeah, I used to live in I used
Speaker 1: to live in Spanish and I went to school in Kingston.
Speaker 1: But for me, I love Kingston because it's where the
Speaker 1: culture is the richest. Some of the I always tell you,
Speaker 1: I need somebody to take me that. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: just roll up the locals. But the differences is like
Speaker 1: the dance hall. That's like when I'm going to Jamaica.
Speaker 1: That's what I want to reach. Some of the most
Speaker 1: epic nights of my life have been at the dance hall.
Speaker 1: What you think about Nick Cannons, King of the dance Hall.
Speaker 1: You're not going to I'm the lead a female antagonists, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm looking for I haven't seen it yet because I
Speaker 1: know we's at all the film festivals. It's not out
Speaker 1: on regular whatever, so I got to see that. I'm
Speaker 1: excited for it. We just talked to Nick Cannon about it.
Speaker 1: For I was a little nervous at first because the
Speaker 1: first time I saw the movie was at the premier
Speaker 1: at Tiffin Tron International Film Festival, because I didn't know
Speaker 1: what he was going to do with it um And
Speaker 1: I can honestly say that once I sat in uh
Speaker 1: witness what he had put together, I started crying, like
Speaker 1: in the middle of it. Because for me as a Jamaican,
Speaker 1: there are things that he captured that people have never
Speaker 1: seen Jamaica that way before. They've net like especially the
Speaker 1: grit like in Kingston of dance Hall. There are things
Speaker 1: that people the world has never seen him. For me,
Speaker 1: the that he was able to accomplish that makes me
Speaker 1: excited and proud. That's good becausejamaking his own play with
Speaker 1: their coach and then I can't just come to Jamaica NASA.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, there are a couple of
Speaker 1: things I feel like you could fix There was so
Speaker 1: much of the storyline that was cut out that kind
Speaker 1: of made the second half super how would you say, rushed? Um,
Speaker 1: But as far as the capturing of the dancing and
Speaker 1: the culture, he definitely accomplished that. And Beniman narrated and
Speaker 1: every famous Jamaican is in there, from Barrington Levy to
Speaker 1: Kimani Maley to Ninja mant and like he did it right.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, the right people. Yeah, it's a fun it's
Speaker 1: a fun movie. Like you can't take it seriously, Like
Speaker 1: you're not going there to you know, have an Oscar
Speaker 1: winning award presentation, you know what I mean. Like you're
Speaker 1: gonna see some great dancing and goody great dancing, like
Speaker 1: and be entertained and be entertained absolutely all right, right,
Speaker 1: but thank you so much. This is really cool. You
Speaker 1: gotta come back next time you're here. Absolutely, go around
Speaker 1: and catch your flight and listen. Miss