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Speaker 1: The Hookup is a production of iHeart Podcasts, Blumbhouse Television,

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Speaker 1: and Amber twenty. Listener discretion is totally advised. When I

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Speaker 1: was little, my parents loved telling the story of my

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Speaker 1: first ultrasound. My mother would recall eagerly waiting for the

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Speaker 1: obgyn to turn the monitor so she could get a

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Speaker 1: first look at a fetal young Damien. To my parents'

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Speaker 1: surprise and endless amusement for years to come, the ultrasound

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Speaker 1: revealed me not in the typical anterior or posterior fetal position,

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Speaker 1: but rather on all fours.

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Speaker 2: You know, our boy Damien was born doggy style.

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Speaker 1: My father cackled joyously at my third grade orientation.

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Speaker 3: He was on all fours in utero and he's been

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Speaker 3: that way ever since.

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Speaker 1: My mother teased to the Crustwick University tour guide. It

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Speaker 1: didn't bother me when I was young, because I didn't

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Speaker 1: really understand the implication.

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Speaker 2: The implication that you like taking it from behind on

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Speaker 2: all fours.

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Speaker 1: Uh, this would be Santy. Usually throwing up on someone

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Speaker 1: and passing out in their dorm ends a relationship quicker

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Speaker 1: than you can say, is he breathing? But Santy was different.

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Speaker 1: The next morning he asked me to brunch at the

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Speaker 1: campus dining hall. No, not that implication. Well yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: that too. But what mainly bothered me as I got

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Speaker 1: older was the idea that it made me like subordinate

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Speaker 1: number two, as if I'm like physically predisposed to being

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Speaker 1: on all fours. Santy narrows his eyes, and I know

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Speaker 1: what's coming next. He's about to ask me if the

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Speaker 1: prophecy came true, whether I am in fact a bottom,

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Speaker 1: and I just can't with the whole top or bottom

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Speaker 1: of question right now, because then I'll have to tell

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Speaker 1: him that it's none of the above that I've never

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Speaker 1: done either.

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Speaker 2: But to my surprise, noted, we'll have to explore further

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Speaker 2: next time you come over.

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Speaker 1: Sing to this guy. I mean, I could just sit

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Speaker 1: here for hours watching him eat his shrimp fried rice. Shrimps.

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Speaker 1: Don't know how lucky they are, what you think because

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Speaker 1: you spent a whole meal swipe on me that I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna put out.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what to expect from me, Damien. I

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Speaker 2: don't know anything about you.

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Speaker 1: Ignorance is bliss, Okay, what do you want to know?

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Speaker 2: Where are you from?

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Speaker 1: New York? Little suburb outside in WYC.

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Speaker 2: Did you spend a lot of time in the city?

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Speaker 2: Kind of?

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Speaker 1: I mean I ran a Twitter account of different rats

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Speaker 1: I saw on the subways, so I guess.

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Speaker 2: Oh, that's a niche.

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Speaker 1: I know, I know. Rats aren't the most beloved of

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Speaker 1: God's gentle creatures. The plague was kind of a pr

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Speaker 1: nightmare in that sense.

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Speaker 2: But can I guess? Can can I guess why you

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Speaker 2: like rats? Okay, well, let's see. I want to say

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Speaker 2: Damien likes rats because they're often underestimated and can fly

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Speaker 2: under the radar. But you don't seem like a count

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Speaker 2: a dog person. You probably had weird pets growing up

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Speaker 2: as a kid, like rats, and they don't live very long,

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Speaker 2: so you never risked forming an actual bond and then

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Speaker 2: losing something you cared about. How'd I do?

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say I like rats because they're cute

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Speaker 1: and the hairless ones look like aliens.

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Speaker 2: Well, either way, we have lab rats over in the

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Speaker 2: science building. Should you ever want to reboot.

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Speaker 1: The account science building? A what's your major?

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Speaker 2: Chemistry? Can you feel it?

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Speaker 1: And now Santy's grinning at me, amused and in control

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Speaker 1: number one? That was a good one, Santi.

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Speaker 2: Thanks just testing it.

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Speaker 1: Out, testing me like a labyrinth number two, But.

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Speaker 2: Don't change the subject. I want to learn about you.

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Speaker 2: What makes Damien Hurst tick?

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Speaker 1: Mainly my ocd Oh, come on, that was funny.

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Speaker 2: Marginally, but I feel like you're using humor.

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Speaker 1: To deflect deflect me.

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Speaker 2: Fum what talking about yourself? Opening up?

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Speaker 1: Not true? Not true? Ask away? Not only will I

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Speaker 1: open up, I'll even say, uh.

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Speaker 2: Do you have a boyfriend?

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Speaker 1: Yes, but we have an arrangement about passing out in

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Speaker 1: other guy's bed, so it's totally cool. Damien, No, no boyfriend?

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Speaker 2: Have you ever had one?

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Speaker 1: No? No boyfriend?

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Speaker 2: Have you ever been with a guy.

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Speaker 1: I've hooked up with guys.

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Speaker 2: Yes, sex though, have you ever gone all the way?

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Speaker 1: He smells blood? No, no, Santy takes a sip of juice,

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Speaker 1: eyes never leaving me, and then finally he gives me

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Speaker 1: the tiniest smile and says.

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Speaker 2: Cool, cool.

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Speaker 1: I think that's a good response, to be fair, I

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Speaker 1: don't really know what the ideal reply would even be.

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Speaker 1: I guess cool is better than.

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Speaker 2: Lucky for you. I've got a green thumb. Want to

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Speaker 2: get your petals plucked? Or fuck? Yeah till marriage?

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Speaker 1: Is there anything else? Inquisitor?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, one more question, Why did you let me go?

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Speaker 1: What? Santy? What's going on? Whoa put down the fork?

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Speaker 2: Why you.

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Speaker 1: He presses his thumb against the head of his fork,

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Speaker 1: skewing himself on the times there's bloods like all over

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Speaker 1: his shrimp. Now, Santi, what.

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Speaker 2: Do you want you?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? That was the catch with Santy total package, except

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Speaker 1: sometimes he channels Satan and impale himself on cutlery. And

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Speaker 1: also where does he get off accusing me of using

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Speaker 1: humor to deflect ten thirty ten thirty fucking Santy dreams?

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Speaker 1: See between us ethically raised free range chickens. My classwork

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Speaker 1: has kind of fallen to the wayside since Santy disappeared

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Speaker 1: the way way aside.

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Speaker 3: Your grades have dropped severely.

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Speaker 1: The Dean so keenly observed during our mandatory goals and

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Speaker 1: progress check in the other day.

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Speaker 3: If you don't turn things around, we may have to

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Speaker 3: re examine your standing here at Krestwick.

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Speaker 1: I get where she's coming from. I do, but I'm

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Speaker 1: paying tuition, So what's it to her if I don't

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Speaker 1: ace my exams or pass my exams or show up

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Speaker 1: for them.

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Speaker 3: I understand you were present at the time of your

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Speaker 3: friends disappearance last year. Have you seen one of our

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Speaker 3: on campus counselors.

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Speaker 1: I have my own psychiatrist, thinks. I do see doctor

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Speaker 1: Andrea Wiley every Wednesday and give her the rundown on

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Speaker 1: my week. You know how I'm feeling, who's wronged me?

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Speaker 1: Trying to get her to laugh at my jokes, therapy stuff.

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Speaker 1: What I don't mention to doctor Wiley is the Santy situation.

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Speaker 1: It just seems like such a can of worms, you know,

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Speaker 1: slimy worms that'll make me answer tough questions and dig

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Speaker 1: uncomfortably deep. No thanks, Besides, who needs therapy when you

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Speaker 1: have metal? The gaze of Ludlow County ask more than

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Speaker 1: enough uncomfortable questions like hey man, you pick? Do you

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Speaker 1: like feet?

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Speaker 2: Or hey feet?

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Speaker 1: Still, the trickiest questions setting in my metal inbox would

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Speaker 1: have to be the one for my current and only

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Speaker 1: lead in Santy's disappearance, the Ludlow Lodge bell Boy. Now

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Speaker 1: that his hotel of former employment has been turned into

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Speaker 1: an apartment complex, I can't figure out why he was

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Speaker 1: hanging around there last night. Factor in his cryptic metal

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Speaker 1: chat and proximity to Santy the night he disappeared, I'd

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Speaker 1: consider him a bonafide suspect. But what was his message?

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Speaker 2: Hey? Man, what are you into?

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Speaker 1: I have the hookup? I need to play this carefully,

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Speaker 1: the exact right phrasing, the exact right words, to make

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Speaker 1: sure this lead doesn't slip away. Hi, Hey, what are

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Speaker 1: you looking for? I'm not sure, really open to trying

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Speaker 1: new things fire. Have you tried the hookup?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: What is that? Do you mean like hooking up?

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Speaker 2: You into group play?

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Speaker 1: Oh? That took a turn group play? I mean, I

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Speaker 1: can't even fathom how exhausting that internal ranch is going

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Speaker 1: to be. Not expressly no either, only looking for threesomes

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Speaker 1: right now? Ah? Shit, Well I learned the bell boy

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Speaker 1: likes threesomes. That's something right. I swiped a close out

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Speaker 1: of Metal, but something catches my eye A profile with

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Speaker 1: the picture of Santi. The photo is foggy, a bathroom

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Speaker 1: mirror selfie, focused more on torso than head. But I'd

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Speaker 1: recognize that face anywhere. That's what I dream about after all.

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Speaker 1: Without thinking, I message him. Hey, Logically, I know this

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Speaker 1: is probably just some guy catfishing with the photo of Santy,

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Speaker 1: But what if it's really him? The username isn't much help.

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Speaker 1: It's just the letter M could be short for murderer.

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Speaker 1: Comma Santy's damien. He knows my name.

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Speaker 2: Shouldn't you be in class right now?

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Speaker 1: He knows my schedule? Uh? Who is this.

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Speaker 2: Mateo from two oh six Ethics and Journalism?

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Speaker 1: Ironic the class I'm currently missing. His name doesn't ring

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Speaker 1: a bell though, to be I've hardly attended that class,

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Speaker 1: so why would it. Santy himself could be the TA

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Speaker 1: and I wouldn't have noticed. Uh, matteo right, Sorry, I

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Speaker 1: have trouble learning everyone's names in these big lectures. Ha ha ha.

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Speaker 1: This doesn't make any sense. If this guy really is

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Speaker 1: Mateo from Ethics and Journalism, that means he's messaging me

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Speaker 1: on metal from class right now. Even I don't do that.

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Speaker 2: Maybe if you were in class right now, you'd know

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Speaker 2: more names?

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Speaker 1: Whoa he really is in my class? Also kind of

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Speaker 1: an aggressive thing to say, right, Oh, winky face, it's fine.

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Speaker 2: Why don't you come over to my dorm tonight and

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Speaker 2: I can fill you in on what you missed today.

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Speaker 1: I mean, as much as I want to figure out

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Speaker 1: why this person is using a photo of Santy, his

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Speaker 1: proposal doesn't not seem dangerous, But I mean with the

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Speaker 1: bellboy trail cooling down. This Mateo guy is the clue.

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Speaker 1: This thing I have to a new lead, and I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't even have to leave campus. I'd just be going

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Speaker 1: over to his dorm. What could go wrong? I'm just

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Speaker 1: gonna see who the catfish really is then bounce easy? Hey, hey,

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Speaker 1: not easy? Not easy. I don't understand. Mateo wasn't using

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Speaker 1: a photo of Santy. Mateo is Santy? Uh?

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Speaker 2: Mateo?

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Speaker 1: Is this real? He has the same bushy eyebrows, the

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Speaker 1: same barely noticeable gap in his front teeth, the adorable

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Speaker 1: little ears that stick out. It's a little further than normal.

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Speaker 1: The eyes are wrong, though not wrong, just not Santy's.

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Speaker 1: And they're lighter too. You know, like that TikTok filter

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Speaker 1: that makes your eyes glow, but you don't use it

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Speaker 1: because the whole thing feels a little rian.

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Speaker 2: You good? Hi?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Sorry? You just you look a lot like someone

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 2: I heard the scene Doppelgangers as an omen You're gonna

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Speaker 2: die soon?

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Speaker 1: What really?

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Speaker 2: Nah? If anything, it just means that you think all

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Speaker 2: brown folk look alike.

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Speaker 1: No, I come in sensory overload. The room's clean and tasteful,

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Speaker 1: but not without its charm, which I guess you could

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Speaker 1: say about Mateo too, his low neck tank and rolled

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Speaker 1: up short shorts or lax hook up attire, and yet

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Speaker 1: there's something magnetic about him?

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Speaker 2: Was he hot? H the person I remind you of? Actually,

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Speaker 2: you know what? Scratch that I don't want to know.

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Speaker 2: Whenever people say that, they end up showing you a

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Speaker 2: photo of the person you allegedly resemble, and it always

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Speaker 2: looks like one of the decomposing muppets from Labyrinth.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, is that not your type? Sandy grint? Matteo grins

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Speaker 1: at me and I melt I've missed that smile.

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Speaker 2: Did you bring your book? My book, your text book

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Speaker 2: two oh six Ethics and Journalism?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? That one negative I seem to have forgotten.

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Speaker 2: Oh, no, worries, we can share.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Hold up? What is this like? Why does Mateo

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Speaker 1: think I'm here? I assumed the study date bit was

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Speaker 1: just a pickup line, but it seems like Mateo actually

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Speaker 1: intends to study, which can only mean one thing. Hits

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Speaker 1: time for the hottest new game show sweeping the nation,

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Speaker 1: study date or date dating. We've secured a panel of

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Speaker 1: leading experts to help decipher whether Tonight's rendezvous is about

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Speaker 1: coursework or coitus?

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Speaker 2: You want something to drake?

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Speaker 1: Sure? Yeah? Thanks? All right? Any early thoughts from our

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Speaker 1: panel study date versus date date inconclusive.

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Speaker 4: Meeting on metal would normally signify sexual intent, but the

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Speaker 4: fact that he expected you to bring your textbook raises questions.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, the one is a point in the date

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Speaker 1: date column. Ah, but it's still too early to call

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Speaker 1: got it? Thanks?

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Speaker 2: What shit?

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Speaker 1: Did I say that out loud?

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Speaker 2: Did you say what out loud?

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Speaker 1: Fuck? I just meant thanks for the wine, That's what

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Speaker 1: I meant.

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Speaker 2: Oh. Sure, so you've been sick lately? What I just

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Speaker 2: figured since you've been missing class a lot?

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Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, I'm terribly ill. I do hear consumption is

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Speaker 1: making a comeback. Actually, so.

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Speaker 2: Jesus.

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Speaker 1: But I'm feeling a lot better now though.

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Speaker 2: Glad to hear it. I hope you're not still contagious.

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Speaker 1: As he says that, he flashes me this impish grin,

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Speaker 1: And I don't exactly know what makes a grin impish,

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00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:55,320
Speaker 1: but this one was certifiable experts. The impish grins are

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Speaker 1: an indisputable point, and the date date column agreed. That's

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Speaker 1: just science. Now's your chance. Go for the cold my

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00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:08,400
Speaker 1: chance for what. I can't actually like do anything with him.

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Speaker 1: It's too weird and yet well things santy again is

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Speaker 1: all I think about. Fuck it, I choose date date,

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Speaker 1: final answer.

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Speaker 2: Whoa, oh hey shit, Oh my god, I am so sad.

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Speaker 1: This whole situation. Panel of experts, please advise. Oh dear,

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Speaker 1: it appears that if my cats wrong and my kitchen.

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Speaker 2: Is on fire, I have to run it. And I

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Speaker 2: just remembered that I'm late for my court date.

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Speaker 1: What no, no, no, no, both of you come back right now.

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Speaker 1: Goddamn sh uh matteo. I okay, I didn't realize this

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Speaker 1: was like actually a study date. I mean I thought,

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Speaker 1: because of the wine and the impish smile that you

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Speaker 1: were trying to like, you know what, I am just gonna.

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Speaker 2: Go, Hey, slow down, speed racer, come back here. You're right,

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Speaker 2: I didn't just invite you over to study. I mean, hello,

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Speaker 2: we met on metal. Obviously I'm into you.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, so then why aren't.

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Speaker 2: We Because I met you three minutes ago. You really

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Speaker 2: cut to the chase.

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I mean, isn't that what a hookup is?

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Speaker 2: Sure? If you use cheap sex to fill the void

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Speaker 2: of utter self, low of being devouring you from the

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Speaker 2: inside out. But if you're a normal person, you can

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Speaker 2: have a drink before unleashing your bstiary of STDs.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so in the spirit of impartiality, I should mention

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Speaker 1: that's not verbatim what Matteo said, but that's how it felt.

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Speaker 1: He was being way judgy. But if you must know,

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Speaker 1: here's how it actually played out. Well, yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: isn't that what a hookup is sometimes?

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Speaker 2: But it doesn't always have to be so clinical. You

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Speaker 2: can have a drink first, get to know the other guy.

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Speaker 2: It can be chill.

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Speaker 1: See the bastiari of STD's thing was obvious subtext.

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Speaker 2: So while yes, I want to be on top of

294
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,480
Speaker 2: you tearing your clothes off, I think we both deserve

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00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:20,919
Speaker 2: to know each other a little better.

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Speaker 1: First, I flinch at the part about him being on

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00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:29,160
Speaker 1: top of me. It's the implication he's number one. Sure,

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Speaker 1: I've been on the bottom before at this point, just

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00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:36,520
Speaker 1: ask Big Top. But it's different with Matteo. He's a peer,

300
00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:39,919
Speaker 1: my age, a part of my actual world, not just

301
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Speaker 1: my sex world. It wouldn't just be one and done.

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Speaker 1: He'd always have that over me.

303
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 2: So in the spirit of getting to know one another.

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00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,920
Speaker 2: Let's order food. How's tie sound cool?

305
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:57,040
Speaker 1: I can place it shrimp fried rice for you? Right?

306
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:57,679
Speaker 2: What?

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00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,679
Speaker 1: Ah shit? Know those moments when you're talking with your

308
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,800
Speaker 1: missing lovers doppelganger and you forget it's not actually them

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00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:08,119
Speaker 1: and assume they like the same foods. I meant the

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00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,960
Speaker 1: shrimp fried rice appears to be discounted tonight. In case

311
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 1: that's what you In case that's what you want. For

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00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,520
Speaker 1: someone who lies NonStop, I could really stand to be

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00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:18,080
Speaker 1: better at it.

314
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Speaker 2: I'm sure it's discounted for a reason. So that's a

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00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:22,200
Speaker 2: past for me.

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00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 1: Is that incense?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Do you mind sandal? Would Japanese monks believe that

318
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:38,000
Speaker 2: incense had the power to cleanse body and mind, purifying

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00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,720
Speaker 2: us of uncleanliness?

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00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 1: And do you feel cleansed? Not? Really?

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00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:49,640
Speaker 2: It relaxes me though. They say aromatherapy can cure all

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00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 2: sorts of ailments, chronic pain, anxiety, depression.

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Speaker 1: Wonderful. I'll just tell doctor Wiley to cancel my prescriptions.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Seems like kind of a lot of

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Speaker 1: transformative power for an inhalent.

326
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Speaker 2: Do you trust me?

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Speaker 1: Trust? Another word for submit. Trusting someone with your secrets

328
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,639
Speaker 1: is no different than handing them the bullets to use

329
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Speaker 1: against you. I watched the next Seum doc. I know

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Speaker 1: how collateral works, uh, I think, so.

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Speaker 2: Then tell me why you've really been missing class lately.

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00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,159
Speaker 2: Something's obviously up with you. I mean you checked to

333
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,479
Speaker 2: make sure you aren't being followed when I let you in.

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00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,399
Speaker 1: He's not wrong. There was that tiny issue of the

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00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 1: guy's talking me outside Big Tops apartment the other night,

336
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,960
Speaker 1: and well, it's possible I was overreacting and the guy

337
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 1: wasn't actually chasing me. I just can't shake the image

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Speaker 1: of that ugly, pink and mustard hoodie.

339
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Speaker 2: Come on, you can trust me.

340
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Speaker 1: There's that smile again. And maybe it's because he looks

341
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,680
Speaker 1: so much like Santi. Maybe it's the wine. Maybe it's

342
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:01,439
Speaker 1: just been really long since I've trusted someone. But in

343
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 1: this moment, I think I do trust Matteo. Maybe not wholeheartedly,

344
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: but enough to spill it, like all of it. I

345
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Speaker 1: tell Matteo about Santy the night he went missing Big

346
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:23,440
Speaker 1: Top Bell Boy, and Matteo just listens. I can't tell

347
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,400
Speaker 1: you how good that feels. Although I do leave out

348
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:31,440
Speaker 1: the doppelganger's bit, no need to muddy those waters. And

349
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 1: then after mentioning something called the hookup. The bell boy

350
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:37,159
Speaker 1: said he only wanted threesomes and stopped responding.

351
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Speaker 2: Wow, that's a lot to take in. Okay, one second,

352
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,920
Speaker 2: you were right about it being complicated. This is all

353
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,120
Speaker 2: a bit more than I bargained for when I invited

354
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Speaker 2: you over.

355
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 1: And it's too much baggage. And you're afraid my curse

356
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:57,719
Speaker 1: will rub off on you.

357
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 2: I get it. Will you stop doing that? Quit deciding

358
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 2: how other people feel about you. Yes, this is a lot.

359
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 2: You're a lot, but I like that. It's real. You're

360
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 2: deep and layered, and and you piqued my interests. Not

361
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:17,400
Speaker 2: a lot of guys can do.

362
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 1: That instinctively and totally against my will. My eyes drift

363
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 1: downwards and oh, yes, his interest is.

364
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,120
Speaker 2: Peaud you're an enigma?

365
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 1: What like like the thing you used to clean out

366
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 1: your butt?

367
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 2: Enigma? Not anema?

368
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:43,000
Speaker 1: Oh okay, Uh yeah, I knew that. Okay, Dawn, keep

369
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:43,639
Speaker 1: validating me.

370
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 2: You're an enigma, Damian, and I want to explore your

371
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 2: brain and your body.

372
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 1: He tastes different than Santy. Pretty quickly we're on his bed,

373
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 1: sure it's coming off. His music plays softly, and the

374
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,880
Speaker 1: standal would smell sweet. The moment is warm and dim

375
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,360
Speaker 1: and playful, and I kind of never wanted to end,

376
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 1: but I know what's coming. The four play timers running down,

377
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 1: and the question is nigh top or bottom?

378
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:19,239
Speaker 2: And then, like clockwork, I am have an enigma in

379
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 2: the shower. If you want to.

380
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:28,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, so about that? Oh good grief, Damien just say

381
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,200
Speaker 1: you don't want a bottom? Be direct? Is that really

382
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:35,200
Speaker 1: too much to ask of myself? See as it relates

383
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:39,440
Speaker 1: to the conundrum of say the intercourse? Apparently, yes, Okay,

384
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 1: here's the thing. When I was in fifth grade, another

385
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 1: kid named Damien moves to town, Damien Stafford, So you

386
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 1: know I was Damien H and he was Damien S.

387
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 1: Makes sense, it does, except that's not really how it

388
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 1: played out. See, everyone got on board with calling me

389
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 1: Damien H. But that fucker just got to be Damien

390
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:03,360
Speaker 1: no initial and me crazy. I was here first. If anything,

391
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 1: I'm Damien and he's Damien S. But he was popular

392
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 1: and douchey and didn't cry all the time, so he

393
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 1: got to be Damian Alpha. Do you get what I'm saying?

394
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:19,920
Speaker 2: So the other Damien tried to fuck you from behind?

395
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 1: What? No, what were you even listening? I'm saying I

396
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 1: don't want to be Damian Beta, But.

397
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,399
Speaker 2: Why would you be Damian Beta? Wouldn't you both just

398
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,160
Speaker 2: be Damien's.

399
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I tell you you're not paying attention.

400
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:38,160
Speaker 1: Damien s is gay, which is bad. Yes, because he's

401
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 1: at the total top.

402
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,200
Speaker 2: So he did try to fuck you from behind?

403
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:46,160
Speaker 1: Where are you getting this? No, Damian Stafford never tried

404
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:47,200
Speaker 1: to fuck me from behind?

405
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,359
Speaker 2: Then how do you know he's the top because of

406
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 2: the top vibes?

407
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 1: Man? I?

408
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 2: Okay, Jesus wow. I think that's where the issue begins.

409
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,879
Speaker 2: You can't know if someone's a top or bottom based

410
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,920
Speaker 2: on whether or not he acts like Damien Alpha or

411
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:05,359
Speaker 2: Damien Beta. This analogy is confusing me.

412
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. But hey, can you turn on the

413
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 1: light for a minute?

414
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 2: Are you okay?

415
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 1: Yeah? Just turn it on?

416
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:15,880
Speaker 2: What are you doing?

417
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 1: Pink and Mustard Matteo? Why do you have the hoodie

418
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:29,639
Speaker 1: that my stalker was wearing? Why do you have the

419
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 1: hoodie that my stalker was wearing? WHOA, it's you. You

420
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 1: were the one following me last night.

421
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,359
Speaker 2: What are you talking about this hoodie?

422
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 1: You were wearing it when you came after me.

423
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 2: I didn't come after don't touch me.

424
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: I jumped for the broken wine glass and hold it

425
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 1: out as if that's going to protect me. I already

426
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: gave him the bullets.

427
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 2: Whoa damien, You need to chill? Who's that.

428
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 1: Ow? Come man? Huh the hook man? You don't know

429
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:07,160
Speaker 1: that story about the couple making out in their van

430
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 1: and then the boyfriend leaves to go get condoms or

431
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 1: something I don't know. And then while he's gone, the

432
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,919
Speaker 1: girl here's a radio bulletin about a hook and.

433
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 2: It's serial killer has escaped the local sanitarium.

434
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 1: And then she hears a hook scratching against the rear

435
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,200
Speaker 1: door of the van, just like.

436
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:29,159
Speaker 2: There are no hook people in Belmont Hall. Still, you

437
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:30,720
Speaker 2: should come away from.

438
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: The window well over there so you can garrot me.

439
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: I'll take the hook.

440
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 2: Thanks.

441
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 1: I lower to the ground out of sight from the window. Yes,

442
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 1: I'm on all fours, and no, I don't want to

443
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 1: hear about it.

444
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 2: My god, dam you. Look look at the words on

445
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 2: the back of the hoodie Crestwick Crustaceans. It's the bad

446
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,360
Speaker 2: mitten club jacket. Tons of kids have them.

447
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 1: It's true, Crestwick does have a weirdly large bad mitton presence.

448
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,640
Speaker 2: There are almost two hundred kids in the Bad and Club.

449
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 2: The odds that I was the one chasing you last

450
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 2: night are literally half a percent. Think about it. Trust me?

451
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:12,640
Speaker 1: Trust him? What a joke. I'm not wired that way.

452
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 1: Why did I fight my nature tonight looking for reasons

453
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: to trust this stranger? You know who? The last guy

454
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:19,360
Speaker 1: I trusted is.

455
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 2: Me?

456
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 1: Neither?

457
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,880
Speaker 2: Just put down the flash, just to put.

458
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:25,359
Speaker 1: Down the glass?

459
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 2: Where?

460
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 1: Like, what's your final piece of control?

461
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 2: That is top vibes? Top vibes isn't a thing?

462
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,360
Speaker 1: It is too Top vibes is deciding to order tai

463
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 1: food without consulting the other person and then going back

464
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 1: and forth for like fifteen minutes, pretending nobody has a

465
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 1: cuisine preference.

466
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 2: Damien, are you? Are you upset because you think I'm

467
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 2: a top?

468
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 1: I'm upset because I think I'm a fun of person.

469
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:57,200
Speaker 1: Oh it's the delivery person and her shihuahua scratching at

470
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 1: the door.

471
00:27:58,880 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 3: Are you, Damien?

472
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 1: Yeah?

473
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 4: Why didn't you open the door?

474
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 1: Why didn't you knock?

475
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,919
Speaker 4: I did? You couldn't hear me over the yelling and

476
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 4: breaking glass? I called a bunch.

477
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 1: Too, did you? Yikes? Sorry about that? I thought you

478
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: were my stalker or like maybe a hook person.

479
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:25,160
Speaker 4: I get that a lot. By the way, I think

480
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 4: your friend was.

481
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 2: Just outside our friend.

482
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, someone was looking in through your window before I

483
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:35,119
Speaker 4: got here. They were wearing that same ugly jacket you're holding,

484
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 4: so I assumed you know them anyway, Please wait and tip?

485
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you.

486
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 2: So if your stalker's outside and I'm inside, what conclusions

487
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 2: can we draw that top and bottom stuff? Damien, you

488
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 2: know it doesn't mean anything, right well, other than what

489
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 2: goes where.

490
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 1: That's easy for you to say you're a top.

491
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 2: Right there, That's what I'm talking about.

492
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 1: How can you know that because you asked me to

493
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 1: use the enigma enema? God damn it.

494
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 2: So just because I proposed in this specific instance that

495
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 2: I top, it doesn't mean that I'm a top, nor

496
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 2: would it mean you're a bottom. And it's not so

497
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 2: black and white. You might like one thing now and

498
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,960
Speaker 2: go into another down the line. That's the fun of

499
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 2: all of this. Let's say, for example, I've never had

500
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 2: a threesome before, but after meeting you and seeing the

501
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 2: picture of that hop, oh boy, I might want to

502
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 2: give it a try. What well, it sounds like the

503
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 2: trail went cold because Bell boy wanted a threesome. Well

504
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 2: meet number three.

505
00:29:56,240 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 1: Wait you you would do that after the way I

506
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:00,959
Speaker 1: acted tonight.

507
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 2: Well, given the fact that your stocker knows where I live, now,

508
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 2: I've got a pretty compelling stake in this. Plus I

509
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 2: like the challenge of solving a mystery. Now, relax, man.

510
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 1: He playfully pushes me onto my back and climbs on

511
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 1: top of me.

512
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 2: Top.

513
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 1: And that's okay. It doesn't make me like number two,

514
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 1: though in a perfect world, I'd love a little more

515
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 1: time to process this all before submitting, before bottoming. But

516
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 1: it's okay. I'm okay, I'm ready, way ready.

517
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 2: Hey, Hey, you're thinking right now, aren't you.

518
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:49,160
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe a little. I'm just trying to wrap

519
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 1: my head around all this. I know everything you said

520
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: is le jet. It's just a lot to process that

521
00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: at once. This again, that's really what it comes down

522
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 1: to write, not power or submission. But trust Yeah, yeah,

523
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: I do trust you. And then something curious happens. Matteo

524
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,240
Speaker 1: pulls me upright and lowers to his back, securing me

525
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 1: above him me on top.

526
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 2: Good. I trust you too. Hey, this is Santi. Text

527
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 2: me to leave a message and I'll get you back.

528
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 1: Hey, it's me. I hope you're surviving and thriving. I

529
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 1: met someone today that I think you'd like. You have

530
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 1: a lot in common, and I have a new lead

531
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 1: on your disappearance. The bell boy from the Ludlow Lodge.

532
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 1: He keeps sending me these weird dms about something called

533
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 1: the hookup. Not a smoking gun, I know, but there's

534
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,360
Speaker 1: just something about him that feels.

535
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 2: Off.

536
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 1: I'll keep you posted. Hey, do you remember that scary

537
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 1: story you told me a while back about that hook

538
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: handed maniac dude scratching at the girl's van? So I

539
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 1: had an call it a relevant experience today that got

540
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 1: me thinking about that, so I looked it up and

541
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: it turns out there's a lot more to that story.

542
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 1: So the cops eventually show up and rescue the girl

543
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 1: as happens in fiction, and as they're guiding her away

544
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 1: from the van, they instruct her do not look back,

545
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 1: but like she does, oll be and what does she see?

546
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: Her disemboweled fucking boyfriend outside the van? That's what she sees.

547
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 1: It turns out he crawled back to the van after

548
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 1: being attacked by the hookman, mustering just enough energy to

549
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 1: scratch the back door to get his girlfriend's attention, but

550
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: she didn't open the door because she thought it was

551
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 1: a scratch of the hookman, and so her boyfriend totally died.

552
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's something to be gleaned from that story

553
00:32:55,800 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 1: about the trust or not jump into conclusions. Lena call me.

554
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 2: Thinking voicemail drewation limit reached.

555
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 1: Good GUYE Hey, I'm not finished. Hey, Siria call Santy.

556
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 1: Written and directed by Noah Feinberg. That's Me. Sound design

557
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 1: and score by Jeremiah Zimmerman, starring Noah Feinberg That's Me

558
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 1: as Damian Ray Santiago as Santy, and Matteo Nico Greatham

559
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 1: as Wade, Augustus Prue as Elias, Scott Evans as Big Tough,

560
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,959
Speaker 1: Jeffrey Self as bell Boy, Tina Majorino as Doctor Wiley,

561
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: Obi A. Bailey as p M. Peter Gabrielle Ruiz as Joma,

562
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: Sadie Dickinson as Meg. Additional voices by Megan Taylor, Harvey,

563
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 1: Susan C. Bennett, Verona, Blue Mark Bramhall, Bryan Daniel Porter,

564
00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:01,239
Speaker 1: Chris Dickey, Aaron Cooker, Christopher Corbyn, Kiff, Danden Huevel, and

565
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 1: Rhys Griffin. Opening themed by Alex Yoder, casting director Sonny

566
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 1: Bowling and Meg Mormon. Executive producers from iHeart, Trevor Young

567
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 1: and Matt Frederick. Executive producers from Blumbhouse, Chris Sticky and

568
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 1: Noah Feinberg. That's Me. Executive producers from Ember twenty David

569
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 1: Thwaites and Jimmy Jelline, Supervising producer Rachel Foley, Editor Noah Feinberg.

570
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:25,440
Speaker 1: That's Me.