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Speaker 1: Let's go buggle up and hold on tight. We gotta

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Speaker 1: tell you here it is strawberry letter. Thanking nephew smiling

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Speaker 1: in my face while backstabbing me is the subject. Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I've been married for seventeen years to a

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Speaker 1: man who I thought was trustworthy, honest, and a good

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Speaker 1: Christian man. We are both in our forties and have

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Speaker 1: been together for twenty five years total. For the last

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Speaker 1: four years, he has been friends with a basic girl

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Speaker 1: that he met at work. I call her basic because

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Speaker 1: that's what she is. I have always expressed how displeased

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Speaker 1: I am with their friendship, but he insisted that I

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Speaker 1: was worrying for no reason. We hung out with her

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Speaker 1: and her basic husband oftened, and my husband always made

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Speaker 1: me feel like I was crazy for being suspicious of

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Speaker 1: this friendship. I even started hanging out with this basic

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Speaker 1: woman too, after he insisted that I get to know her.

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Speaker 1: We had family outings with this basic couple. We actually

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Speaker 1: enjoyed their company. Here's where the pain and deceit began.

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Speaker 1: Two weeks ago, her husband caught my husband and the

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Speaker 1: basic woman cheating. When confronted, they admitted that it had

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Speaker 1: been going on for three years, right under our noses.

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Speaker 1: I was so hurt. Then I guess my husband's conscience

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Speaker 1: got the best of him, and he admitted that he

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Speaker 1: had had an affair with three other women, and two

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Speaker 1: of these women were also in our married friends circle.

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Speaker 1: My husband told me that he has a problem and

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Speaker 1: he needs counseling. He begged me to stay with him

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Speaker 1: and help him through this. My trust for him is

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Speaker 1: shattered now. He had his mistresses in my face and

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Speaker 1: they all played it off perfectly. I feel like a

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Speaker 1: fool and I'm totally disgusted by him. But I am

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Speaker 1: unsure if divorce is the answer. We've lost all of

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Speaker 1: our friends because of this. Should I forgive him? Please? Help? Wow?

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Speaker 1: What a letter. First of all, these were not your friends,

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Speaker 1: and I gotta tell you forgiveness is up to you,

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Speaker 1: but most importantly it's for you, and you know in

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Speaker 1: this instance, I would just say, I don't know. It's

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Speaker 1: gonna be hard, and it's gonna take some time. The trust,

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Speaker 1: like you said, is already broken. Gonna be very very

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Speaker 1: hard for you to rebuild the trust, and quite frankly,

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Speaker 1: for you to even be considering not divorcing him is amazing.

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Speaker 1: To me because he's been so fall with what he did.

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Speaker 1: Like you said, he had his mistresses in your face,

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Speaker 1: right under your noses for three years. That's crazy, But

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Speaker 1: you did suspect something he kept trying to steer you

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Speaker 1: off of that made you get to be friends with

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Speaker 1: the woman he was having an affair with, and all

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Speaker 1: of that. I mean, you should be disgusted. You said

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Speaker 1: you disgusted with him. You should be disgusted with him

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Speaker 1: and all of them. You said you're so disgusted with him,

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Speaker 1: You should be, and you should insist that he gets help.

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Speaker 1: Only time will tell if he's truly sorry. His behavior

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Speaker 1: and how he treats you from this point on should

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Speaker 1: help you decide whether to stay or go. But please

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Speaker 1: do not do not make this easy for him. If

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Speaker 1: you decide to stay in this relationship, which or this

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Speaker 1: marriage that you've had for seventeen years, this is not

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Speaker 1: really a marriage. He's been treat cheating on you, and

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Speaker 1: treating you like this. You don't have to. Don't feel

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Speaker 1: badly if you walk away from him, but if you

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Speaker 1: decide to keep him and forgive him, don't make it easy. Steve,

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Speaker 1: I can't know what you just said. If you're going

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Speaker 1: to stay with him and forgive him, don't make it easy. Wow,

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Speaker 1: that's an interesting concept, because why forgive if you're gonna

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Speaker 1: steady make a person pay. I I don't. But then

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Speaker 1: that's the part when you hurt a woman, that's the

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Speaker 1: part that you have to grapple with because you did

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Speaker 1: hurt her. So in that regard, I understand where's Shirley

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Speaker 1: coming from. But that's a tough statement, though. If you

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Speaker 1: stay with him and forgive him, but don't make it easy,

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Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Well, let's go back to the top. Smiling

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Speaker 1: in my face. While I've been Dick Shirley, I've been

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Speaker 1: married seventeen years to a Christian man. He's still a

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Speaker 1: Christian man who I thought was trustworthy. Were both in

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Speaker 1: now forties, and we begin the other for twenty five years.

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Speaker 1: Last four years, he's been friends with a basic girl

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Speaker 1: that he met at work. I call her basic because

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Speaker 1: that's where she is. I've always expressed how displeased I

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Speaker 1: was with a friendship. But here, since there's nothing to

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Speaker 1: worry about. Now, let me ask you a question. I

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Speaker 1: have told y'all and told y'all and told y'all about

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Speaker 1: these friendships. I have told y'all that they don't normally

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Speaker 1: work out that good. But let me ask you this question.

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Speaker 1: Who makes new female friends in their forties while married? Dog?

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Speaker 1: I can understand if you had a relationship in college

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Speaker 1: or something. You've been friends with this girl since high

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Speaker 1: school or something like that, and you get married and

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Speaker 1: you're trying to convince your wife we've been friends all

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Speaker 1: this time. I got that. Who makes new female friends

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Speaker 1: in their forties while they married? How did y'all develop

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Speaker 1: this friendship? How much time it takes to developed of friendship?

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Speaker 1: Not much time away from your wife and outside your

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Speaker 1: house it takes to form a new friendship. Now you

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Speaker 1: call in the woman basic? What the hell do that mean? What?

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Speaker 1: What do that mean? Anybody? She basic? Plane? I took

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Speaker 1: it as plane. Yeah, well, well let me tell you this.

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Speaker 1: I like plane donuts, but I still likes the donut

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Speaker 1: because I can dunk it. Uh. They'd been married seventeen years,

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Speaker 1: Christian Man, so she thought trustworthy. So she thought. Then

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Speaker 1: their forty's been together twenty five years total. Last four

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Speaker 1: years he'd been friends with a basic girl he met

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Speaker 1: at work. Now Man said that she started having problems

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Speaker 1: with this new friendship. My question when we left was

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Speaker 1: who makes new female friends in their forties while married?

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Speaker 1: Cause it takes a long time to develop a friendship.

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Speaker 1: That's time out your house where y'all going lunch, eating,

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Speaker 1: talking on the phone, texting. All this could be time

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Speaker 1: spent with your girl, but no, you outside your house

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Speaker 1: with it. Now here we come. I told y'all, this

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Speaker 1: don't hardly ever work out. He assisted not to worry

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Speaker 1: about it. Then hit a cool part. We hung out

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Speaker 1: with her and her basic husband. Oh, y'all are fossil alway,

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Speaker 1: and your husband made you feel crazy for being suspicious

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Speaker 1: about this friendship. I even started hanging with the basic

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Speaker 1: woman too, so he gets to know that. Y'all. When

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Speaker 1: the family outings, everything enjoyed their company. Then you got

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Speaker 1: hurt two weeks ago. Now hit a part that I

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Speaker 1: don't understand. Two weeks ago, her husband caught my husband

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Speaker 1: and the basic woman cheating. When confronted, they admitted that

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Speaker 1: it isn't had been going on for three years, so

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Speaker 1: the hall of I'm are we missing something here? He

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Speaker 1: caught his wife cheating with another man. When confronted, they

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Speaker 1: admitted that means this confrontation was y'all cheating and then

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Speaker 1: they admitted it no crime. Take boy, listen to me.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you what's involved in this. In this

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Speaker 1: when I catch you, there's gonna have to be some depositions.

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Speaker 1: That's gonna be to be some retainers. Yes, that's gonna

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Speaker 1: have to be some video. Ever this, we're gonna be

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Speaker 1: looking back at text records. Uh, there's gonna be some

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Speaker 1: people at the house. Uh, they gonna be spraying that

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Speaker 1: blue stuff in the room with the lights out. They're

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Speaker 1: gonna be spreading all that. They're trying to figure out

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Speaker 1: what the hell did Steed do? File the finger? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Whoile the finger? Just stupid handful of his hand? And

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Speaker 1: the target? Who coming here? Here? Gonna take a look

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Speaker 1: at this. You donna come here and take a look

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Speaker 1: at this. I don't know how this got up here.

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Speaker 1: Gonna take a picture of handcuffs on the shower rod

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Speaker 1: and uh and take a picture of that change. So

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Speaker 1: I think that's gonna have something to do with this here.

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Speaker 1: This is starting to look a lot like scarf frise

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Speaker 1: up in here. So now now they admitted, they admitted

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Speaker 1: they've been going out for three years right under our noses.

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Speaker 1: I was so hurt and uh then she said her

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Speaker 1: husband conscience got the best of them, and he said

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Speaker 1: that he had had an affair with three other women,

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Speaker 1: and two of these women was also our married friends. God,

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Speaker 1: why is he still living? Yeah, he's so good. I'm

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Speaker 1: not understanding that. He ain't no good? Why is he

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Speaker 1: still living? The husband ain't killed him, You ain't killed him.

151
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Speaker 1: He's sleeping with everybody's wife? Who? How fine is he? Then? Now? There? Now,

152
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Speaker 1: my husband told me that he got a problem that

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Speaker 1: he needed counseling. He begged me to stay with him

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Speaker 1: and help him through this. Help help him. What's how

155
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Speaker 1: you feeling to help him? Help me understand? Cheating is simple.

156
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Speaker 1: It's a decision that a dude made because he thinks

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Speaker 1: he can get away with it, and he figured you

158
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Speaker 1: ain't gonna know, So what you ain't gonna know ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna hurt you. And it might not mean that much

160
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Speaker 1: to him, which can be a true statement. But when

161
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Speaker 1: you get busted all of a sudden, you mean the

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Speaker 1: world to him. That's what happens in cheats. True, do

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Speaker 1: we understand this? True? Got to go to school, They

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Speaker 1: got to go to school for this therapy for this.

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Speaker 1: It's upset that he got caught. He made her if

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Speaker 1: you had, if she had never caught him, this would

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Speaker 1: still be going on and he wouldn't be asking for help. Then, Yes, sir,

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Speaker 1: help is with one when you got more than one, two,

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Speaker 1: three women? You helping yourself to all the cookies in

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Speaker 1: the jaws. Now, don't make it easy for help him

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Speaker 1: through him, my trust him, him and shadowed. Now he

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Speaker 1: had his mistresses in my face and they all played

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Speaker 1: it off perfectly. That's the cold part of this letter,

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Speaker 1: right Hill. He talked all these women into going along. Women. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they were all friends. What have your husband been doing

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Speaker 1: to y'all? This? What is this man doing to y'all?

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Speaker 1: Say the one more time? This man doing too y'all?

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Speaker 1: Everybody keeping it a secret? This boy, right Hill's bad boy.

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Speaker 1: In the words of mc hammel, stop hammerton, Oh y'alls,

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Speaker 1: what is it doing it? That's what I want to do.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Steve. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Do it to yo at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram

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Speaker 1: and Facebook, and don't forget to check out the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: Morning Show,