WEBVTT - "Hot Takes" Could Save You Heartbreak Later 0:00:11.160 --> 0:00:15.200 Hey, that folks. It is Sunday, January twenty fifth, And 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:17.600 a question for you, folks in a relationship that person 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:21.560 that you're with right now, what did you find out 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:26.360 about them after you got into a relationship that if 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:30.360 you had found out on your first date, it might 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:33.879 have been a deal breaker. And with that, welcome to 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:36.040 this episode of Amy and TJ. I asked that question 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:39.120 for a very specific reason because a rollbock has gone 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:44.000 and she keeps finding new dating trends. Weird for a 0:00:44.040 --> 0:00:47.440 woman in a relationship to keep finding new dating trends. 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:48.760 But I had not heard of this one. 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:53.120 Yes, so it's cuffing season right Officially, I think this 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:55.600 is the time where between the holidays leading up to 0:00:56.360 --> 0:01:00.840 Valentine's Day, everybody's looking to boo up. So yes, everyone 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:04.039 wants to find the new dating trend, the new way 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:07.280 to find somebody. So apparently here is the hottest new 0:01:07.319 --> 0:01:08.480 dating trend trend. 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:11.319 It is called hot take dating. 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:15.760 Okay, so they always have good names, right, Okay? In summary? 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:17.520 What in short? What does this mean? 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:21.240 So it goes against what we're typically told to do 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:25.160 when we first start dating someone. Avoid touchy topics, you know, 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:28.920 don't talk about politics or religion, just on a first date. 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:31.320 Just keep it simple, keep it light. 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:36.200 This tactic is to go in from the beginning like 0:01:36.400 --> 0:01:37.160 no nonsense. 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:40.360 We need to see if our values align. Period. 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:44.120 Okay, first, you say, is what we're told to do? 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:48.160 Where is that? Where does that come from? Are where 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:51.280 do we get trained? You send your representative to the 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:53.560 first date. That's not really who you are, right, you 0:01:53.560 --> 0:01:56.559 play this game? You said, why is that what we're 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:59.640 told to do? Is that women men bowl? 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:02.400 You know, I can only speak for women obviously, and 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:05.920 maybe it's not that anyone has directly said here's what 0:02:06.000 --> 0:02:06.800 you have to do. 0:02:07.120 --> 0:02:10.240 But you watch enough movie, you watch enough. 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:13.920 I think really it's like consuming media and seeing how 0:02:13.960 --> 0:02:17.280 people meet and reading books about Yes, as a woman, 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:19.280 you put your best foot forward. You make sure your 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:21.520 hair is just so, and your makeup's just right, and 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:23.560 you're wearing the right outfit, and you say the right 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:25.600 things and you make him like you. 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:28.560 You don't want to do anything initially to turn somebody off. 0:02:29.040 --> 0:02:30.880 There we go, Okay, that makes sense to me. Now, 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:34.200 I just wanted to get there. So this is saying, 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:36.200 get it out of the way and go. 0:02:36.080 --> 0:02:40.359 There upfront, don't waste anyone's time, Okay, Because yes, when 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:42.799 you avoid touchy topics and you just talk about how 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:45.080 the weather was and what your meal is like and 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:48.800 everything is so wonderful and great, it's hard to actually 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:52.200 know if you're going to like that person. And when 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:55.520 you accept somebody and actually end up in a relationship 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:57.359 with somebody, and I guess this is the point you're 0:02:57.440 --> 0:02:59.440 dating to find a relationship. 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:00.920 The whole point is. 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:03.680 You actually need to know who someone is, the good, 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:06.040 the bad, the ugly, the things you disagree with, and say, 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:08.760 is that something I can accept? Because we're all gonna 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:10.760 have things we don't like about the other. We're all 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:14.400 gonna have things we disagree with with our partner. It's 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:17.600 what is the level to which I have to accept? Like, 0:03:17.639 --> 0:03:18.680 you should get it out of the way. 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:22.600 Is this a new thing or is just making some 0:03:22.760 --> 0:03:23.840 kind of resurgence. 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:26.360 No, so they're saying that this is kind of new. 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:29.520 And the reason why they're saying it's a trend now 0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:33.840 and why this is happening now two things, politics and 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:38.480 social media. So politics are so divisive right now, and 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:40.920 we can get into the numbers, but it's pretty interesting 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:42.720 tender you can think by the way, for some of 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:45.920 this research, because they do have a lot to work 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:48.520 off of with their research, but they say right now, 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:53.760 forty one percent of the people they surveyed are unwilling 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:57.760 to date someone with opposing political views. That narrows the 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:02.800 dating field significantly, was a forty one percent, and more 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:05.760 women than men say they would not be in a 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:09.480 relationship with somebody who thinks the opposite that they do 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:14.000 when it comes to politics. Okay, that's where we are, 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:16.000 and so you kind of have to get that out 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:16.479 of the way. 0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:19.000 That's sad. That was really sad to hear. I want 0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:20.839 to you know, I wonder if the number has always 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:25.240 been that high. Can people really not live together in 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:27.720 the same household now when it comes to kids or 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:29.960 way you want to raise them, and religion, and I 0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:32.560 guess some of those things factor in, but it just 0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:35.359 seems like the priority is I don't know, how do 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:38.680 you Okay, I'll take I'll hold off on until the. 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:40.719 Thing is It is a sad statement to make, but 0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:44.240 these days we are seeing family members saying they can't 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:46.040 they won't talk to other family members. 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:47.640 I've seen people. 0:04:48.040 --> 0:04:50.800 We just did something for Yahoo about friendship breakups a 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:53.000 lot of people that resonated with them. They talked about 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:57.359 how because of politics they have had friendships, like years 0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:00.640 long friendships broken because of politics. So yeah, yeah, I 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:02.440 think now. I don't think it always used to be 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:02.680 like that. 0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:04.160 No, I think that. 0:05:04.520 --> 0:05:07.240 You could have voted for Gore and I voted for 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:09.760 Bush and we would have been okay with that. It 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:11.760 wasn't that big of a difference. 0:05:11.839 --> 0:05:15.920 So you're telling me Trump has changed relationships, He has 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:18.599 changed friendships, She has changed the way we date. Is 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:19.480 that what you're telling me. 0:05:19.520 --> 0:05:21.400 I actually didn't realize I was telling you that, But 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:23.720 I do believe that. Yes, in fact, I am telling 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:26.200 you that, or at least tender and other folks who 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:30.760 who try to make sense of these numbers are suggesting 0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:33.040 that for sure, forty and I don't know what it 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:36.360 was before, but that seems exceptionally high. Forty one percent 0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:38.120 of people say they are unwilling to date someone with 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:42.279 opposing political views. Could you date somebody who had a 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:43.560 very different political view? 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:48.520 Yeah? The only thing if she smokes, that's my only 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:51.640 non starter. For the most part, it doesn't if you're 0:05:51.720 --> 0:05:55.760 so in like you're that intolerant of someone. I can't 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:59.920 let someone into my heart because you believe like you 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:03.719 aren't your religious beliefs. I have a difficult time with that. 0:06:03.880 --> 0:06:11.440 And people we're so where that it's that important, like 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:17.360 we can't be compatible, we cannot live together, we cannot coexist, 0:06:17.560 --> 0:06:20.880 and I just I'm not used to hearing that. 0:06:21.000 --> 0:06:21.120 Bro. 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:25.240 It sounds like an absolute intolerance for a whole group 0:06:25.279 --> 0:06:28.400 of people, which is half right of the country. 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:29.000 Right, I will. 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:31.320 You know, it's one of those things where if you 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:35.000 do listen to relationship experts, they will tell you it 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:39.360 is easier to be in a successful relationship with someone 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:42.240 who thinks what you do, who believes what you do. 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:45.240 So maybe there's something to that too that maybe you 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:47.440 could be in a relationship it would just be harder 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:48.920 and they're not up for it. 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:51.480 That could be what it is. 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:54.600 The other Yeah, and the social media element of this, 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:59.320 according to what's behind this trend is that people have 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:03.320 a hot take on everything. It's just especially the younger 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:07.880 generations gen Z, the dating ages, like twenties thirties, they 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:12.280 have come up with this platform where yeah, they will 0:07:12.280 --> 0:07:14.520 say whatever they think, and when they give their hot 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:17.800 take on social media, they get attention. They get followers. 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:22.680 So it's an attitude that this that these generations needs more. 0:07:22.920 --> 0:07:25.520 Who tend to be dating right now have where it's like, yeah, 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:28.080 I have an opinion and it matters, and here's why 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:31.960 they feel emboldened to do that. So it matters, I guess, 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:34.720 and they don't feel as uncomfortable walking in on a 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:36.800 first date as you and I would, just saying, so, 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:43.240 where do you stand on trans athletes? You know, if 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:47.160 that's important to you, this trend says you start talking 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:48.560 about it on date one. 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:51.120 To each his and ti his or her own. I 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:55.120 don't mind those things. I hate when they become qualifiers. 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:58.800 I hate when it becomes if you don't answer these questions, 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:01.240 I literally have a I mean, just send me a questionnaire. 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:06.040 Then it seems that way like we're reducing human beings 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:09.200 to what their political beliefs are and there's nothing more 0:08:09.240 --> 0:08:12.320 to them. And it says like you're making a determination. 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:16.000 If you are this, then this means you're a bad person. 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:19.000 That's why it seems like it gets interpreted like you 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:23.920 can't there's an extra element of evil that I'm assigning 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:26.320 to you. It seems like we're absoluteist too much in 0:08:26.360 --> 0:08:26.760 this country. 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:29.000 It's true, and it feels like we go back into 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:31.600 that tribal mentality what you're describing right there, you know. 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:34.120 And look, it's funny because I was just listening to 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:37.600 a relationship expert. I love listening to audiobooks and podcasts, 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:40.480 and that's where I was drawing that last bit of 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:44.040 expert information saying that it is easier to have a 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:48.200 successful relationship if you are alike. But then what the 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:51.200 sad thing about that is it discourages people from getting 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:54.080 to know other people. You know, if we wouldn't be 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:56.320 together with that because you're black and I'm white, so 0:08:56.360 --> 0:09:00.000 we've had very different experiences going through life. Even if 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:04.679 we've had similar upbringings and similar parenting and came from 0:09:04.720 --> 0:09:06.720 the similar part of the country, we still had very 0:09:06.760 --> 0:09:07.720 different experiences. 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:10.160 Should we not be together because it's too hard? 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:10.440 You know? 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:12.480 The sad thing about that is if you're looking for 0:09:12.600 --> 0:09:14.000 easy or looking for. 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:17.280 The simplest way forward, or. 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:20.200 That maybe the safest, most peaceful way forward, you miss 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:22.480 out on a lot of opportunity to grow and learn. 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:27.439 We're so seting on ways for whatever reason. That's I 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:30.160 don't know. I didn't know about that number. The forty 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:33.080 one percent number like I am you are disquali. Forty 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:35.720 one percent of people are saying half of the dating 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:41.400 population they are eliminating because they might have different political views. 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:44.559 That's a yeah, And I guess there's an argument. I'm 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:46.800 trying to see some side of it, like I cannot 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:50.480 live with I refuse too, and that I just think 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:55.040 as such an indictment of an entire group of people 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:58.000 just to say because you're a Republican or you're a Democrat, 0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:00.360 that a tough man. I hate that right. 0:10:00.760 --> 0:10:03.920 And you know, and I think that they feel insulated, 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:06.800 or I say they, but people who are taking on 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:09.719 this hot take dating and saying, hey, this works for us, 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:14.160 This is something that feels like the right way to 0:10:14.280 --> 0:10:16.520 find that perfect partner. Right to go ahead and just 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:20.000 be out say your most controversial feelings right away, get it. 0:10:20.080 --> 0:10:22.360 And if you I don't like where you are from 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:24.640 a controversial standpoint, then I'm just going to move on. 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:27.480 And they say, how many people are online dating? 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:27.640 Now? 0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:27.840 Right? 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:29.640 They find the person they're going to go on this 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:32.120 first date with a lot of times through these apps. 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:35.400 And if you're if you're meeting. 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:37.400 Somebody on an app and you're going to say, we're 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:39.560 going to do this hot take dating trend. There really 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:42.679 is no consequence for walking away from a first day 0:10:42.720 --> 0:10:45.720 going no thanks, because think about how we typically would 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:47.680 have been set up someone in the workplace, maybe a 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:48.839 friend of yours set you up. 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:51.120 You'd feel like you wouldn't want to piss off that person. 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:53.920 You wouldn't want to walk away and like leave the 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:56.800 leave the restaurant on fire. You know you there were 0:10:56.840 --> 0:10:59.400 consequences for behaving badly, or for being rude, or for 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:03.000 push too hard or to getting into some Yeah thanks, 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:06.920 but no thanks. So when you're dating off of an app, 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:09.160 you can kind of say whatever you want because you 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:13.280 have no pressure to behave from a community that would 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:15.480 have maybe set you up, or you would have been 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:16.560 in to meet that person. 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:20.640 I still don't I don't know. I'm still trying to 0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:24.840 piece together what other things should people not If you're 0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:32.000 a part in what religious beliefs, political beliefs, should those 0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:35.400 people just not even try and bother dating? 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:39.960 Really it's harder. I think that's harder. It's harder. 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:42.520 So where do you leave room for getting to know 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:44.920 someone for who they are and then find out about 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:48.000 these other things that make up who they are, and 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:50.440 then we go, Okay, maybe it's too hard or you 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:53.600 don't know, actually if it's worth fighting for if you're 0:11:53.640 --> 0:11:57.000 just qualifying somebody at the very beginning, right, there's plenty 0:11:57.000 --> 0:12:00.440 of stuff we have we found out later and it 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:04.040 was worth fighting through. We'd have found that stuff out 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:08.040 on date one. No, that's going to be hard. I'm out, 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:13.000 But that doesn't make sense to do it in that order. 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:15.120 How do you know if it's worth fighting for? How 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:17.640 do you know if it's worth whatever struggle it's going 0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:19.000 to be. How do you know that that's not going 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:20.719 to offer something to your life? How are you going 0:12:20.760 --> 0:12:23.920 to expand you just need somebody to stay with you 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:29.400 in your same MSNBC or Fox News, Lane Brett bears 0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:33.720 kind of cool racial madda, how's good nights? Like you can. 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:36.559 Learn right, it's okay, we'd like to watch both. 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:42.320 It's okay, geez, I know ms now, sorry. 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:43.200 MS now, I can't get that right either. 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:46.120 All right, when we come back, we're going to talk 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:50.800 about some of the dangers and we've kind of discussed 0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:52.960 right now of doing this hot take dating. 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.560 But what some very wise. 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:59.080 Advice was offered by the experts, some matchmakers for anyone 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:14.800 who is considered employing this dating trend. And welcome back everyone, 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:19.040 as we talk on this snowy Sunday about a new 0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:23.200 hot dating trend if you are looking for love wanting 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:26.160 to find that relationship as we march our way through 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:30.560 this snow to Valentine's Day, they're just going Hot's a 0:13:30.640 --> 0:13:34.640 hot new dating trend called hot take dating. Yes, and 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:37.200 so some of the experts, and this was a matchmaker 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:40.920 actually who had some advice, and she said that she 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:43.920 does have clients who are into this dating trend because 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:46.679 they just want to weed out the people that they 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:48.720 don't want to waste their time on quickly. 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:52.280 But she said, remember this, it's a date, not a debate. 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:57.520 So don't go into a first date thinking, Eh, I'm 0:13:57.559 --> 0:14:00.199 gonna share a hot take and then I'm ready to 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:03.559 totally and completely fight for what I think is right. 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:06.599 She said, do so with the intention of trying to 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:11.120 figure out if you're compatible. Compatible that's funny, that was 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:12.040 a Freudian slip. 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:20.440 If you're compatible than trying to change the other person's mind. 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:22.720 If you go in there thinking I'm going to show 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:24.520 him how right I am or whatever. 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:26.920 That's not the point of this. It's a date, not 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:27.480 a debate. 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:28.400 I like that. 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:30.800 But also, don't be combative. 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:34.880 Or try to say compatible when you say compatible, all right. 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:37.440 The other thing is, and this is so true when 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:39.440 you go in and if you're having a disagreement and 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:41.160 you find that you're on different sides of the aisle. 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:45.840 Nobody wants to be preached to and nobody wants to 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:50.040 be told that they're wrong. So don't try to convince 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:55.800 someone or prove someone wrong. And I do think sometimes 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:59.240 that can that conspiral, especially when you don't know somebody. 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:01.640 This is a first day, you haven't met, you haven't 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:02.880 you don't have that foundation. 0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:06.040 What's a hot take? I'm trying to think now of 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:08.120 what are the things if you and I had sat 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:11.160 down at a first date, What would be the thing 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:14.600 that you could possibly ask that you would need to 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:16.640 know or I would need to know about you? That 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:20.600 would be those kind of qualifying things. All I have 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:24.080 is do you smoke? That's really all I got. If 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:27.000 you're religious, I don't go to church every Sunday, I'm 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:30.200 willing to be open to that. I'll listen. That's kind 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:32.600 of all I got. You hike, you climb mountains. I 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:34.840 wouldn't ask that on a first date. That's not doesn't 0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:37.720 disqualify on it, right, I don't. I don't have a 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:38.320 hot take. 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:41.280 I'm trying to think if there's something that, yes, smoking 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:46.160 would be an absolute disqualifier for me. Yeah, I mean 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:49.200 I maybe you start, especially if you're younger, starting to 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:51.000 go in and say do you want kids? 0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:51.920 How many kids do you want? 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:54.800 I mean that that can be off putting for folks. 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:56.440 But if you want to know right away, are you 0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:57.960 somebody who wants kids in your life? 0:15:58.280 --> 0:15:59.800 That's an important thing to know right away. 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:02.360 That should be a first day question. That's different from 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:05.400 a hot take that's we might not need to even 0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:09.040 get dessert, because if I want you don't, then we're 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:10.840 two people aren't compatible. That's different. 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:13.680 But you're talking about like a view on something. It's 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:15.200 just a hot take that I can't. I'm not going 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:17.920 to ask you about trans if you are what look 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:21.000 I see I have room maybe because what we do 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:24.240 for a living afforded this. I have always been in 0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:26.880 a room with people who have different viewpoints and have 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:30.400 been cognizant to know that that's part of the beauty 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:33.920 is looking at things through different lenses and having people 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:37.000 I love my whole life think very differently than people 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:39.880 who I like and I work with, and knowing that 0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:46.000 those can both exist and respect can still can still 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:48.040 live in that environment. Yeah, I'm trying to think, would 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:49.200 there be a non starter for me? 0:16:49.320 --> 0:16:51.440 Well, what would you tell me? They say, let me 0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:54.000 get this out of the way. I'm blank, I'm blank, 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:56.000 I'm blank. I think this. I think this, And I'm 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:59.920 not talking about anything having to do with your surrounding 0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:02.560 or hey, I got a nineteen year oly boulder. That's 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:04.639 not no. No, I'm talking about like a belief of some 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:06.720 kind that I just want you to know ahead of time. 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:10.199 I blog blank, I voted for Boom. Identity that you 0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:12.480 think is important, I don't even have that. 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:13.600 I don't think I do either. 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:15.840 That would be like something I would think would make 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:20.560 or break whether or not I could accept you because 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:24.920 of how I believe because I'm with you, I'm on religion. 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:28.080 I don't feel strongly about whether you have to be 0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:33.240 or shouldn't be or couldn't be in politics, I think 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:35.240 I guess the only thing I would ask I would 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:38.239 want to gauge is if that person would impose like 0:17:38.320 --> 0:17:40.439 that very thing. If you needed me to think what 0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:43.040 you think or believe what you believe, that would be 0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:45.480 a non starter. As long as you were accepting of 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:49.400 my difference in opinion, that would be the biggest deal. 0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:51.400 Because also if you need someone to think like you 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:54.720 and agree with you on certain topics, what happens. 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:55.119 When you fight? 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:58.720 What does it if you can't absolutely come to a 0:17:58.760 --> 0:18:00.800 full agreement? Is it a is it a done deal? 0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:03.520 Can you not accept just hey, we're going to agree 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:07.080 to disagree. That kind of shows that mentality that you 0:18:07.640 --> 0:18:10.400 don't want to agree to disagree. 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:13.120 I was trying to follow that, but it was so combatible. 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:16.959 It seems like everything you were saying, well, I just 0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:18.800 I don't know. I don't know what to give. If 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:21.000 somebody heads up on I would ask somebody else if 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:22.560 you know, if I ever had a first day with 0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:24.560 somebody else, I would ask if they like yacht rock. 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:27.480 That might be a non starter for me. Now, really, yeah, 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:31.440 you kind of ruined it. Really yeah, yeat rock. Often 0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:33.879 there's a reason thank you I should. 0:18:33.600 --> 0:18:35.840 Say in my in my air pods, I do. I 0:18:35.840 --> 0:18:37.919 will try not to play it around the else. 0:18:37.960 --> 0:18:40.920 I would give a first date somebody now my heads 0:18:41.000 --> 0:18:45.119 up about March madness and die hard during the holidays. 0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:45.880 That would be good. 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:49.480 March madness is a big one, yes, like insane. Yes, 0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:51.359 that's big. And also you should probably let them know 0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:52.800 that you like to sleep with the TV on. 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:53.880 That's a big thing. 0:18:54.119 --> 0:18:54.359 Yep. 0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:55.919 And I wake up very early. 0:18:55.720 --> 0:18:57.840 And you wake up very very. 0:18:57.560 --> 0:19:01.040 Early earlier, and you don't like to in anything other 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:05.000 than a NonStop flight perfectly less than four hours. 0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:08.320 This isn't difficult. 0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:12.720 Take those things and the other. 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:15.440 There was another number that I was curious what you 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:18.520 thought about, and I think this is reasonable. Thirty seven 0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:23.520 percent of singles say shared values are essential. And I 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:25.480 think that is I think that numbers should actually be 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:32.080 higher in terms of what you value family, work, life, balance, 0:19:32.600 --> 0:19:33.160 all of that. 0:19:33.520 --> 0:19:37.359 To me, that number should be seventy seven percent. 0:19:37.520 --> 0:19:41.080 You know, but some values have more value. Quite frankly, right, 0:19:41.359 --> 0:19:45.159 we are we aligned on work, but not aligned on 0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:46.720 kids and family or. 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:49.000 Money different things. 0:19:49.080 --> 0:19:52.000 Yes, you can get by if somebody's really going after 0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:53.639 money and somebody doesn't care, you can meet in the 0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:56.200 middle on that one. If somebody is really into family 0:19:56.240 --> 0:20:00.399 and you're I don't know, been disconnected from your for 0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:04.120 ten years. I don't know. They're just different. I don't know. 0:20:04.160 --> 0:20:08.399 I just people are people, and I hate to because 0:20:08.400 --> 0:20:10.720