1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah hart Hunger. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,160 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and sixty eight. 11 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: We will be interviewing Tony and Miambi, who is a 12 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,919 Speaker 1: dentist in Florida. She's going to be talking about that 13 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:49,040 Speaker 1: her life as mom and dentist and podcaster, so doing 14 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 1: a lot of different things. So we thought it would 15 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: be appropriate to open with the discussion of our current 16 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: dental health. Sarah, I hope you are in a better 17 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 1: state than me. Oh well, I wasn't really. My dental 18 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 1: health is fine, thankfully. I actually went to the dentists 19 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,680 Speaker 1: just like a month ago. It was very it was great. 20 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 1: They wore masks. I felt confident. I know. I was 21 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,120 Speaker 1: going to talk about my kids' dental health because they 22 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: have not been forever, because I think they hit appointment 23 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,880 Speaker 1: like in May or June, I think, and that was 24 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 1: when we were just hitting our big surge, and so 25 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:22,759 Speaker 1: I pushed it back. And Annabelle in particular, they were like, 26 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: she needs an orthodonist sooner rather than later, And that 27 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: was like six months ago, and I haven't done that yet, 28 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 1: so so later is what what that's been. Yes, I 29 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: mean she's not even nine years old, but I guess 30 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,319 Speaker 1: they are. Yeah, I got time, but they're doing her 31 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 1: teeth are a little advanced, and I guess they're doing 32 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 1: things a little younger now, So we'll see. Although I 33 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 1: don't know because I had everything started really young, but then, 34 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 1: like I guess the way I grew like, I had 35 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 1: things on in my mouth for six years, So maybe 36 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,920 Speaker 1: better if she doesn't start too early. I yeah, there's 37 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: something to be said for that as well. I mean, 38 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: you know, and also you're more motivated as an older 39 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:00,040 Speaker 1: child that you care about how you look, and so 40 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 1: you might be more motivated for various dental things when 41 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:08,519 Speaker 1: you're that age. Yeah, I've I've been in bad shape. 42 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: I had recurring like tooth pain. One of my molars 43 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 1: had you know, a cavity in it, but it was 44 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 1: pretty deep and it had broken out, like the tooth 45 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,360 Speaker 1: broke and so then I had gotten it fixed like 46 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:22,680 Speaker 1: a year ago, and then we were going to do 47 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 1: a crown, but then you know, COVID happened. I was 48 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 1: pregnant whatever before that, so it hadn't happened. Then I 49 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:31,080 Speaker 1: started having recurring toothpaint over in that side of my mouth. 50 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 1: I went into the dentist, and you know, it turns 51 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 1: out I needed a root canal, so I went to 52 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 1: an endodonnist to have that done, which then they could 53 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 1: only do like half of it in one session, so 54 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 1: I had like two separate root canal sessions. And then 55 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: they put in, you know, a temporary filling, so I 56 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,839 Speaker 1: have to go get that replaced with a permanent one 57 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 1: with my dentist. And you know, it's just like a 58 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 1: lot of dental fun I've never had, like other than 59 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 1: with braces, like tooth pain, but I've heard it's, well, 60 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 1: it's pretty miserable, although mine was not so bad it 61 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:10,959 Speaker 1: for better or worse, the tooth was mostly dead and 62 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 1: so I'm not entirely sure why they felt they needed 63 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 1: to keep it. You know that it might have just 64 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: starting like a year and a half ago, might have 65 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 1: been better to just get it out and put in 66 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 1: an implant. But for whatever reason, modern dentistry likes to 67 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:34,200 Speaker 1: keep your teeth and so yeah, it's it. There was pain, 68 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: but it was like a different sort of pain than 69 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: I think the people who normally have root canals, so 70 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 1: if that makes any sense. So I was actually able 71 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: to go for a while between knowing I needed one 72 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 1: and then actually getting it done because they couldn't fit 73 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 1: me in right away, and so that was I was 74 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 1: grateful then that it was not this sort of traditional 75 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: root canal pre pain. It was unpleasant. You know, you 76 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: have to have your mouth open for like forty five 77 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 1: minutes as they're like doing stuff in there, and just 78 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for my dentists. I've had some really 79 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 1: good dentists. Our North Carolina dunists was like the best. Yeah, oh, 80 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: I like our dentists too. I mean I just have, 81 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 1: you know, crappy teeth at the moment at work for 82 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:18,720 Speaker 1: whatever reason. But we're looking forward to hearing about apparently 83 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: there's an epidemic of jaw clenching and teeth grinding going on. 84 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 1: Did you read that? No, but I may be part 85 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,919 Speaker 1: of it, may be part of it. A lot of 86 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 1: stress out there, a lot of poor posture which then 87 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:35,599 Speaker 1: leads to teeth mal alignment and grinding. So we'll have 88 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: to talk about that later. Anyway, we're excited to be 89 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,160 Speaker 1: talking to doctor Toni in Well. Sarah and I are 90 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 1: delighted to welcome Tony and Mayamba to the podcast. She 91 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: is a practicing dentist who made time on her lunch 92 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: break to talk to us, so this is really awesome. 93 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: I'm sure busy patient schedule with all the stuff that's 94 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,920 Speaker 1: have to be rescheduled for the first part of the year. 95 00:04:56,400 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 1: And she is also a podcaster. So Tony An, welcome 96 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: to the program. Don't you introduce yourself to our listeners. Yes, 97 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,240 Speaker 1: thank you for having me. I am Tony Yan. I 98 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 1: am the Black Groom podcaster at Real Happy Mom, and 99 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,920 Speaker 1: I'm also a full time dentist and also a reservist 100 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 1: of the Navy, So I wear lots of hats and 101 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,920 Speaker 1: I've learned to kind of juggle it all. I think 102 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 1: I do pretty good at it. So that's kind of me. 103 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,280 Speaker 1: And as far as like the titles that I hold, 104 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,559 Speaker 1: but some other things is you know, I love helping women. 105 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: So that's why real happy mom is a passion mind 106 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: and that's why I'm so excited to be here talking 107 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,919 Speaker 1: to you today. We are excited to have you on 108 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:38,360 Speaker 1: as well. How old are your boys? They are seven 109 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:42,039 Speaker 1: and four, okay, And so for our listeners who are 110 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 1: maybe not familiar with the process of like dental training, 111 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,719 Speaker 1: where you know, when did you have your children and 112 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 1: your professional journey, how does the training work for a 113 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 1: dentistry career. Yeah, so it's four years of undergrad and 114 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,040 Speaker 1: then four years in dental school. I did not have 115 00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: my kids during dental school. I could not have done 116 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,919 Speaker 1: it is a lot. There were other ladies in my 117 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: class who did have babies while in school, and God 118 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:09,239 Speaker 1: blessed them. I could not do it. I had my kids, 119 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: I think right after I had graduated dental school, and so, yeah, 120 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,159 Speaker 1: it was a nice transition, but it was it was 121 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 1: pretty difficult because I was, you know, wanting to you know, 122 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: kind of go full into, you know, doing the career thing, 123 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,160 Speaker 1: and then you add the mom part in and especially 124 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:27,159 Speaker 1: a mom who doesn't know what they're doing. It was 125 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,359 Speaker 1: a little bit challenging, but I figured it out and 126 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,800 Speaker 1: I'm having fun doing it. Now. What drew you to dentistry? 127 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,600 Speaker 1: Good question. So initially it's funny. I was just talking 128 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,160 Speaker 1: to my boss other day. I was like, you know what, 129 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,160 Speaker 1: I wanted to be an advisor to the president when 130 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:41,360 Speaker 1: I was a kid, if you would have asked me 131 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: what I wanted to do when I grew up. But 132 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,359 Speaker 1: then I realized I don't like politics, so I was like, 133 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,279 Speaker 1: I can't do this. But what drew me the dentistry 134 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,160 Speaker 1: was I had my own dental issues and I saw 135 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,279 Speaker 1: what changing my smile did for me. And I was like, man, 136 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 1: if I can make someone feel the way I did, 137 00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: like I would be a superhero. So that's all I 138 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: was like, let me do this dentistry thing. This is 139 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 1: this is where it's at. Well, you do have like 140 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: the most beautiful teeth, and and yes, her dentists were awesome, 141 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 1: So I would go to you any day, dear. Yes, 142 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 1: in our intro we talk about a series of unfortunate 143 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 1: dental events that have happened to me recently, but I'm 144 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: sure you get that all the time. Oh, yeah, here, 145 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,240 Speaker 1: and so what about the reservist part? So was that 146 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 1: part of when did you join the reserves? Was it 147 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: part of you know? Your training? Like what you know 148 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: and what does that look like for you now in 149 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 1: terms of your obligations for that? Yeah. So honestly, like 150 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 1: I wish I would have joined the Navy while I 151 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: was still in dental school because I wouldn't be still 152 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: paying speed loans. But I decided to join the maybe 153 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: after I graduated dental school. And I've done all my 154 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: time as reservice. I never did active duty, and so 155 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 1: the if you see the commercials and you talk to 156 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 1: the recruiters are going to tell you, oh, it's just 157 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 1: one weekend a month and two weeks a year, that's 158 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 1: your commitment. But it's really a lot more than that, 159 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 1: especially if you're like in my position where you're a 160 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 1: little bit higher up. I spend a lot more time 161 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 1: than that. But it is what I used to I 162 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,840 Speaker 1: still call it my fun job because I don't have 163 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 1: as many responsibilities as far as the patient care part, 164 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:20,920 Speaker 1: so I get to have fun and really get to 165 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 1: interact with people and really just have fun because I 166 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 1: actually really like talking to people. So That's why I 167 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 1: think this podcasting thing is really good for me. But 168 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: I know that a lot of times you'll see those 169 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,679 Speaker 1: nice commercials and it looks really like, you know, sexy, like, oh, 170 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:38,079 Speaker 1: they're going and saving lives. Like I'm not doing all that. 171 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 1: I'm just I'm getting a recruits teeth all nice and 172 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:42,839 Speaker 1: ready to go so that they can go out and 173 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,199 Speaker 1: serve and protect our country. So I know, I kind 174 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: of downplay what I do, but I don't want anyone 175 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: to think that I'm out there like in the bushes shooting, 176 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: you know, with a rifle or anything like that. Well, 177 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,480 Speaker 1: that would be kind of a waste of your skills. 178 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:00,640 Speaker 1: I us shooting rifles. There's like other people who can 179 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 1: do that, but only you can do the teeth. Oh yeah, 180 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: that is that is definitely me. I don't do the 181 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 1: other stuff nothing. But so most of your reserve work 182 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 1: then involves, like you know, seeing the recruits who are 183 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 1: coming into the Navy and making sure that they're you know, 184 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,000 Speaker 1: prepared and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, so 185 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: like ninety percent of the time, like when I'm doing 186 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: my two weeks, yes, I'm seeing the recruits. There are 187 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 1: sometimes where like last year, Thank god I went before 188 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 1: the pandemic, because last year I got to go to Spain, 189 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 1: which was pretty amazing. So there are sometimes when I 190 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 1: get to go on some pretty fun trips, but for 191 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 1: the most part, I'm seeing the recruits, which I don't mind. 192 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 1: They're pretty fun to talk to. I would imagine what 193 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:42,720 Speaker 1: has dentistry been like during the pandemic, because I imagine 194 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: your practice, like many, was probably closed or limited for 195 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 1: only emergency purposes capacity for a while the spring. So 196 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 1: how about you talk us through through that and what 197 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: that was like. Yeah, it was. It was a little stressful. 198 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 1: I did not stop working. I kept working because in 199 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,079 Speaker 1: my mind, I'm thinking, there are a lot of people 200 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: out there with dental emergencies, and no disrespect to my 201 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,960 Speaker 1: physicians out there, they don't know what to do with 202 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,720 Speaker 1: dental emergencies. So I was like, I want to stay 203 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 1: open to be able to take care of the patients 204 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 1: that have true dental emergencies, so you know, people have 205 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 1: accesses and things like that. So I was limited to 206 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 1: just doing emergency care for a month or so. Now 207 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,679 Speaker 1: we're back up, we're back into the swing of things 208 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 1: of course now, but it was a bit challenging because 209 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 1: there was these I feel like the media made it 210 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 1: look like, oh, you don't need to go to the dentist, 211 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: and oh, you know, if you're going to catch you know, 212 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 1: the virus, it's going to be at the but no, like, 213 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 1: we practice universal precautions all the time, even before the 214 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 1: pandemic happens, so we know how to handle disease and 215 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:50,320 Speaker 1: infection controls. So I wasn't worried about it. Honestly, Nobody 216 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 1: in my office has gotten sick, and some of my 217 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 1: patients have, but they did not give it to us, 218 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 1: and it definitely wasn't from us that got them sick. 219 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: But I just was a little, you know, bothered by 220 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,720 Speaker 1: how things were being portrayed. But I think now the 221 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 1: message is getting out that it is safe to come 222 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:10,319 Speaker 1: to the dentist, and it is so moms, if you're listening, definitely, 223 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,720 Speaker 1: you know, you know, take the kids to the dentist. 224 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 1: They need to go. You need to keep up with 225 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,800 Speaker 1: the regular dental on oral health, it is very important. 226 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 1: It's not something that you can put off, and it's 227 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,679 Speaker 1: something that you know, ops know, which a lot of 228 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,000 Speaker 1: people think like, oh, you know, it's something I can 229 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,839 Speaker 1: do later. No, no, no, no, no, you want to 230 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,560 Speaker 1: make sure that you're taking care of it and doing 231 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:31,199 Speaker 1: it now. Yeah, good advice. And Sarah and I were 232 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,319 Speaker 1: talking about we'd read an article that there had been 233 00:11:34,559 --> 00:11:40,079 Speaker 1: actually a lot of stress related dental work required and 234 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,680 Speaker 1: between people having poor posture and people having stress that 235 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: there's a lot of tooth grinding and such going. Are 236 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,760 Speaker 1: you Are you seeing that a lot in your practice? Yeah, 237 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 1: I feel like it's a little bit more, especially like now, 238 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,160 Speaker 1: like TMJ issues, because people will come in like, oh, 239 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,560 Speaker 1: my job's hurting, Oh I'm having TMJ or whatever, and 240 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,720 Speaker 1: I'm like, so, I always this question to always start 241 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 1: by saying, I know this is a dumb question, but 242 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 1: have you been experiencing any unusual amounts of stress? And 243 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 1: they're like yeah. And usually once I hear that, then 244 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,680 Speaker 1: I'm like okay, and then I go through my whole 245 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,080 Speaker 1: litany of tests and things like that. But yeah, stress 246 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,480 Speaker 1: is definitely aggravating things and making you know, a lot 247 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,199 Speaker 1: of the clenching and grinding and TMJ issues come up 248 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 1: a lot more. I have had many a Zoom meeting 249 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:28,080 Speaker 1: where I just find myself clenching for various reasons. I 250 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,679 Speaker 1: think we all have, we all have all right, we're 251 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 1: going to take a short ad break. We will be 252 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:46,880 Speaker 1: back in just a minute. So pivoting a little bit. 253 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 1: So Tony and with all you have going on with 254 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,840 Speaker 1: you know, you're doing your dentistry, You've got your kids, 255 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,840 Speaker 1: you're in the reserves. You're like, I think I'm going 256 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:57,079 Speaker 1: to start a podcast too, So tell us a little 257 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,280 Speaker 1: bit about how you decided to do that and what 258 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,600 Speaker 1: you're hoping to do with Real Happy Mom. Yeah. So 259 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,960 Speaker 1: before I started Real Happy Mom, I had another blog 260 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 1: called doctor Tony Dds, and that was a blog that 261 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 1: I was using to help kind of get myself pretty 262 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 1: much for SEO purposes, so that I can be found online, 263 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: because I was wanting to start my own practice. So 264 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,679 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I'm going to get myself out 265 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 1: there online so when people search for Dennis and Jacksonville, 266 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 1: I'll pop up. But I got started with the process 267 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,840 Speaker 1: of doing the startup, and things happened. I didn't get 268 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,920 Speaker 1: the practice that I wanted, which is fine because I 269 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 1: really don't want my own practice, so please don't feel 270 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,959 Speaker 1: sorry for me. But in the process of me doing that, 271 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 1: I attracted a couple of different people who wanted me 272 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: to either write different blog posts or to speak. And 273 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 1: my first speaking engagement was on a podcast and once 274 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:51,199 Speaker 1: I was done, I had so much fun and the 275 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,160 Speaker 1: lady telling me, she was like, you really should think 276 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,920 Speaker 1: about starting your own podcast, and I was like, girl, 277 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: nobody wants to listen to me. And growing up like 278 00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,160 Speaker 1: people used to tease me about my voice all the time, 279 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,480 Speaker 1: so I really felt self conscious about I know, I 280 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 1: feel self conscious about it. And I was like, oh, 281 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 1: I don't want to talk. People don't want to listen 282 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 1: to my boys, and she was like, no, you should 283 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:09,960 Speaker 1: do it. You should do it. So I went and 284 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,320 Speaker 1: talked to my husband about it. He was like, I 285 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,360 Speaker 1: told you to do that a long time ago. Like, oh, 286 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,000 Speaker 1: so now she tells you and you want to do it. 287 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,480 Speaker 1: And of course I think most wise are like that. 288 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: We listen to our friends and other people before we 289 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 1: tend to listen to our husbands. But once I did that, 290 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,880 Speaker 1: my husband got me started. It was a simple app 291 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 1: that I was recommended, got started with it, and I 292 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 1: just took off from there. And at first, of course 293 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,520 Speaker 1: I didn't know what I was doing. I'll be honest, 294 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 1: if you go back and listen to some of my 295 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 1: previous episodes are kind of all over the place, But 296 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 1: now I'm really gearing towards working on helping busy working 297 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 1: moms because I feel there's a lot of information out 298 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 1: there to help, you know, stay at home moms and 299 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,400 Speaker 1: things like that, and know disrespect to them, they are 300 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,320 Speaker 1: amazing and they do a wonderful job, but working moms 301 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,880 Speaker 1: we have different challenges and different things that we need 302 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,640 Speaker 1: that I feel like aren't really out there as much. 303 00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 1: So I wanted to bring in the experts to help 304 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: us moms figure this out because it's hard juggling everything 305 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: and trying to keep everything going and doing a good 306 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: job at you know, being awesome at your job and 307 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 1: being awesome at home. So that's kind of where I'm 308 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 1: going now. It's trying to help us moms figure out 309 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 1: how to navigate this and honestly, really to navigate it 310 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 1: personally for you, because yes, I can tell you what 311 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 1: I do, but that may not be what's best for you. 312 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 1: But I really want moms to figure out how to 313 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 1: be authentically themselves and also to make whatever situation that 314 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: they're in work for them so that they can truly 315 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 1: be real happy moms. I love it very similar to us. 316 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 1: I remember thinking, like, why are there all these great 317 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,320 Speaker 1: parenting podcasts where the host is always someone who stays home? 318 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 1: And I get why because they have time to do 319 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 1: a podcast, But there have been shows like Hours and 320 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,680 Speaker 1: shows like yours because I think that perspective was missing 321 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 1: a little bit. And I'm so thrilled that you're adding 322 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:02,160 Speaker 1: that you've added yourself to to this. Well, I guess yay, awesome. 323 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: Definitely a club needs more members. So we were looking 324 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:11,160 Speaker 1: at some of your you know, various content out there, 325 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 1: and of course this is right up our alley, because 326 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:16,960 Speaker 1: of course we're the target market of your self. So 327 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 1: you had a post on top five things you need 328 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:22,440 Speaker 1: to prepare on Sunday to make your week amazing as 329 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:30,920 Speaker 1: a working mom. Tell us We're like, click, click click, 330 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: what is what are these enlighten us? What should we 331 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 1: be doing on Sunday? On Sunday? So this is like 332 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: one of my absolute favorite things to talk about. So 333 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 1: before I tell you what some of these things are, 334 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 1: I just want to tell you one. As busy working moms, 335 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 1: we have to cut down the amount of decisions that 336 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 1: we need to make during the week and The way 337 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 1: that we do that is preparing so that we don't 338 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 1: have to think so much and we don't end up 339 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:58,400 Speaker 1: with decision fatigue. And if anyone's listening there, like, what's 340 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 1: this whole decision fatigue? The way that I like to 341 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 1: think about it is we have about one hundred decisions 342 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,520 Speaker 1: that we can make in a day, and after those 343 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,720 Speaker 1: hundred decisions, you start either doing two things, either making 344 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 1: poorant decisions or you don't make decisions at all, which 345 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,240 Speaker 1: is just as bad. So you want to make sure 346 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:17,399 Speaker 1: that you're using that decision power wisely. So doing the 347 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:20,320 Speaker 1: Sunday Preputine kind of helps eliminate you having to think 348 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,879 Speaker 1: a lot during the mornings and especially during those times 349 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,159 Speaker 1: where I feel like you need to use that decision 350 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,199 Speaker 1: power for work and really important things. So I like 351 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 1: to start the Sunday Preputine by looking at what is 352 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 1: going on during the week as far as what we 353 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:38,240 Speaker 1: need to wear. So a lot of moms may be 354 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 1: wearing uniforms, which is super easy, so you don't have 355 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,120 Speaker 1: to worry about picking out things that match and things 356 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,399 Speaker 1: like that. But even for me, honestly I've gotten so 357 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 1: far is to pick out my socks I pick everything 358 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,399 Speaker 1: out and have it ready, so I literally grab it 359 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 1: and go. I don't want to think in the morning, So, 360 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,480 Speaker 1: like I said, we're using that decision power for later 361 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,480 Speaker 1: in the day when it's important. So get your clothes ready, 362 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:02,639 Speaker 1: make sure that you're looking at the weather for the week. 363 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 1: If it's snowing, if it's raining, you want to dress accordingly. 364 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 1: And then also if you have any other really important 365 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,200 Speaker 1: events coming up. So for instance, if I have date 366 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,359 Speaker 1: night or I have a meeting with my boss, I 367 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,320 Speaker 1: want to make sure I have those clothes ready because 368 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 1: nothing's worse than you need to have something dry, clean, 369 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,400 Speaker 1: and that's not ready to go. So that's number one, 370 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,679 Speaker 1: getting the clothes ready. Number two would be to get 371 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,480 Speaker 1: your meals prepped. And I'm not a huge meal prepper, 372 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,159 Speaker 1: so don't you know, get scared. All it is is 373 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 1: just taking a piece of paper writing Monday through Sunday 374 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,360 Speaker 1: or Monday through Friday, however you like to do it, 375 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,640 Speaker 1: and just simply writing down what you're gonna eat during 376 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,960 Speaker 1: a week, so you can have a menu, so you 377 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,959 Speaker 1: know what you have in the refrigerator in the pantry, 378 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: so you can pull it together. So like for instance, 379 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,960 Speaker 1: I already had some mini meatloads and some mashed potatoes 380 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:49,199 Speaker 1: that I already made, so I know that's on my 381 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,159 Speaker 1: menu and I can easily pull that from the refrigerator 382 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,879 Speaker 1: and get it and go. I don't want to have 383 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:56,320 Speaker 1: to think, oh, my goodness, what are we going to 384 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,159 Speaker 1: eat for dinner, because that's like the one question at 385 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 1: the end of the day that gets me super earate it. 386 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,800 Speaker 1: So I like to have that menu. So even if 387 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 1: I don't necessarily want to eat meat loaf and mashed 388 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,120 Speaker 1: potatoes tonight, I can look at the menu and see, oh, 389 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:11,679 Speaker 1: you know, there's chicken and fries, so I can do 390 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 1: that instead. So again for eliminating the amount of decisions 391 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,920 Speaker 1: that we have to make, So that was number two. 392 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,400 Speaker 1: Number three thing would be playing a natural week. And 393 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,000 Speaker 1: for moms, a lot of us we tend to put 394 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 1: other people before ourselves. So I always say start by 395 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 1: putting yourself first on your schedule and making time for yourself. 396 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,640 Speaker 1: And the way to do that is to first look 397 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 1: at your schedule for the week, see what all you 398 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,919 Speaker 1: have going on, and plugging the things that you can't change, 399 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 1: so I know I have to go to work from 400 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: seven thirty to four thirty. I know I have a 401 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:46,280 Speaker 1: doctor appointment at twelve o'clock, and I know that I 402 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,200 Speaker 1: have to take the kids to band practice or whatever 403 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,680 Speaker 1: it is. So we plug those things in and then 404 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,720 Speaker 1: where you have all of those empty slots of time, 405 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,120 Speaker 1: that's where you want to plug in time for yourself. 406 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,160 Speaker 1: Then add in everything else as far as the kids, 407 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,359 Speaker 1: it's the husband and things like that, because it's so 408 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,639 Speaker 1: easy to fill up our schedule with our kids and 409 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,240 Speaker 1: our family and don't make time for ourselves. And that's 410 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:11,120 Speaker 1: a really big thing that I'm really pushing. It's really 411 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,199 Speaker 1: making time for ourselves as moms because we need it, 412 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,919 Speaker 1: and especially now more than ever, we need that time. 413 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: So planning our schedule because I was that mom that 414 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:25,000 Speaker 1: would always forget about Wacky Wednesday and pajama Day at school. 415 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 1: So I will definitely take a look at that schedule 416 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 1: to make sure I'm not missing anything because I don't 417 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,160 Speaker 1: want to be that mom. So that's the third thing. 418 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,480 Speaker 1: The fourth thing, I know this is going to sound 419 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 1: a little funny, but restarting your devices because how many 420 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,359 Speaker 1: times have you gotten ready to do a really important meeting, 421 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:43,600 Speaker 1: Like I'm getting ready to talk to you ladies, and 422 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:47,640 Speaker 1: my computer just starts crashing. That will ruin my day. 423 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,679 Speaker 1: So resetarning your devices helps with a couple of things. One, 424 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: there's a lot of programs running on in the background 425 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: and we think we're closing them out, but they're still running. 426 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 1: And if you have a million things running, eventually something's 427 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,439 Speaker 1: going to crash and burn. And it's usually right when 428 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,919 Speaker 1: you need to do something important. So taking time to 429 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:07,160 Speaker 1: restart your laptop, your phone, your tablet, all of your devices. 430 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 1: Restart all of them so that you don't have that 431 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:15,959 Speaker 1: happen at a really important time. And then lastly, I said, meals, 432 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:23,280 Speaker 1: it's one more meals. You see I got exploded and devices. 433 00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:28,360 Speaker 1: Oh your purse? How could I forget the purse? Yes, 434 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 1: take your purse and go through your purse, because let 435 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,000 Speaker 1: me tell you, it was one day. I remember I 436 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,119 Speaker 1: was like, feel mad at my husband. I was yelling him. 437 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,080 Speaker 1: I was like, where are my keys? Where are my keys? 438 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,000 Speaker 1: I gotta go. I'm late. I'm like, where are my keys? 439 00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:41,720 Speaker 1: You know where my keys were at the bottom of 440 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:43,639 Speaker 1: my purse. If I would have taken the time to 441 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,639 Speaker 1: clean my purse out, I would have found, you know, 442 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:47,760 Speaker 1: the kids toys and some rappers, and a whole bunch 443 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 1: of other things that need to be there. So take 444 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 1: some time go through your purse, clean that out and 445 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,920 Speaker 1: get the things that don't need to be there out 446 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:55,600 Speaker 1: and the things that need to be there back in. 447 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 1: So those are my main ones that would say doing 448 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,480 Speaker 1: these on Sunday will help to set you up for 449 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,440 Speaker 1: the rest of the week so things go a lot slowly. 450 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 1: There good advice we clearly think of, like like, I 451 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,639 Speaker 1: can't the idea of going into the week without like 452 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,640 Speaker 1: a menu plan, like it gives me hives. So yeah, 453 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 1: I do not. I would say Sarah and I have 454 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,680 Speaker 1: both been that mom who forgot Wacky Wednesday. Just in 455 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: case you one hundred percent have forgotten Wacky Wednesday, And 456 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,960 Speaker 1: I do feel really bad about it when that happens. 457 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,520 Speaker 1: But also it happens, and as your kids get older, 458 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,520 Speaker 1: you can tell them they get to remember that it'sulos 459 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:34,199 Speaker 1: Wacky Wednesday is on you. So I think Sarah had 460 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 1: a question about self care because I know that's something 461 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 1: you talk about, but it could be a little buzzworthy too, Sarah, 462 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: what was Yes, Well, I okay, So this past weekend, 463 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,840 Speaker 1: it was kind of a rough week. My musband one 464 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,800 Speaker 1: where my husband was on call. I don't know, and 465 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,720 Speaker 1: I kept seeing the word I was like on Instagram 466 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,359 Speaker 1: because I was like very stressed out and my Dadler 467 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,520 Speaker 1: would not lap nap and would not leave me alone. 468 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,000 Speaker 1: And I love her very much, but I was just 469 00:22:56,040 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 1: like ready to not be with her every second and 470 00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,840 Speaker 1: every Instagram feed was like a Pastel thing talking about 471 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,760 Speaker 1: like getting your self care, and I wanted to throw 472 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,160 Speaker 1: my phone out the window because I'm like, well, I'm 473 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 1: on Instagram trying to get some self care, but it 474 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,200 Speaker 1: doesn't really feel like self care, and you're telling me 475 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:11,440 Speaker 1: to do self care, But how can I do self 476 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:12,600 Speaker 1: care right now when I got this two year old 477 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:13,920 Speaker 1: in front of me that doesn't like the mom blah 478 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: blah blah blah. You get my point. I hope nobody's 479 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,080 Speaker 1: listening to this on like sped up speed, because that 480 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 1: would not have been intelligible anyway. How do we get 481 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:25,080 Speaker 1: self care in those moments? Or I don't know what 482 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,320 Speaker 1: is that? Does that word even mean anything anymore? I 483 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,400 Speaker 1: would just love your thoughts. Yeah, So I will say 484 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,880 Speaker 1: it has become this kind of buzzword and I feel 485 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,439 Speaker 1: like it's lost this meaning. But For me, I like 486 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,000 Speaker 1: to get down to like the basics, like what are 487 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,560 Speaker 1: the basic things that we need as moms to make 488 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:45,680 Speaker 1: sure that we are truly thriving and happy, And that 489 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:49,720 Speaker 1: would be sleep, good food, and you know, doing things 490 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,600 Speaker 1: that we enjoy. Those are kind of the basic basic 491 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 1: things and then from there it's you know, we can 492 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,720 Speaker 1: add on some more things. But I think we've kind 493 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 1: of lost touch on what self care is. So I know, 494 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: like for me, like I was in this really low state, 495 00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:07,920 Speaker 1: feeling really really tired, so just you know, saying no 496 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,560 Speaker 1: and not you know, taking on more responsibilities. And I 497 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,800 Speaker 1: have been there with the kids and they're in my 498 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,359 Speaker 1: face and I want them to go away and they won't. 499 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 1: So I totally get that. But I think another thing 500 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 1: too we have to remember is you know, doing those 501 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,120 Speaker 1: things that we enjoy. And I know I talk about 502 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:26,760 Speaker 1: this a lot, but I feel like a lot of 503 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 1: times we are so used to taking care of everyone 504 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 1: and doing things for everyone that I know a lot 505 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,080 Speaker 1: of times I have gotten to that place where I'm like, 506 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: what do I want to do today? What is fun? 507 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:41,119 Speaker 1: So just just looking around and thinking, you know, what 508 00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:43,560 Speaker 1: is really going to give me joy? Right? Now, but 509 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,080 Speaker 1: during those times when the kids are like really getting 510 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:48,840 Speaker 1: your your nurse, I will tell you during the pandemic, 511 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,240 Speaker 1: I learned two really good hiding places for you, Sarah. 512 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:54,680 Speaker 1: The first one is my closet and the second one 513 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,360 Speaker 1: is my car. So sometimes I have to just go 514 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,120 Speaker 1: and escape just for a moment, kind of get myself, 515 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,360 Speaker 1: you know, you know, calm and collected before I can 516 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,840 Speaker 1: go back and be an awesome mom to my kids, 517 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,240 Speaker 1: because I can't if they're driving me crazy. But yes, 518 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,639 Speaker 1: I totally get in it. And then also too, I 519 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,160 Speaker 1: want to mention it's just taking time to just pause 520 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,560 Speaker 1: and just be quiet with ourselves because I think we 521 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,440 Speaker 1: move and we're go go go, and especially in the society, 522 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,679 Speaker 1: it is a lot of go go go that we 523 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 1: don't even stop to really even think about what we're 524 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 1: thinking and how we're feeling. So just staying and tune 525 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,439 Speaker 1: with ourselves and seeing what's going on, like check in 526 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,520 Speaker 1: and be like, okay, how am I doing today? Like 527 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:36,280 Speaker 1: what do I need to you know, make myself do 528 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:40,720 Speaker 1: better and be better those kinds of things. Awesome. Yeah, Yeah, 529 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:45,879 Speaker 1: it's tough. You know, the answer is probably like go outside, 530 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 1: take a deep breath, take a pause. But it is 531 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 1: hard in the moment sometimes, so I'm sure it's hard 532 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,320 Speaker 1: for other people too. So we always love to hear 533 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,439 Speaker 1: a day in the life. And I'm sure you know 534 00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,560 Speaker 1: you ran through a little of it earlier with like 535 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,640 Speaker 1: you know, thetice hour seven thirty to four to thirty 536 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,080 Speaker 1: roughly or whatever. But maybe you could tell our listeners 537 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,920 Speaker 1: real quick, what a day in the life of Tony 538 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 1: Ann looks like? Yeah, day and elect So my learn 539 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,720 Speaker 1: typically goes off around four thirty. Do I usually get 540 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:15,960 Speaker 1: up at four thirty Not all the time, but I 541 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 1: like to work on the blog and podcasts in the 542 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,680 Speaker 1: morning before the kids get up. So that's what I'm 543 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 1: usually doing in the mornings, is taking care of that. 544 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,320 Speaker 1: But i will tell you right now, it's gotten a 545 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,800 Speaker 1: little bit. It's gotten a little a little bit excessive 546 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 1: as far as all the responsibilities that I need to do, 547 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 1: and I'm like getting overwhelmed. So I'm looking to get 548 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,240 Speaker 1: virtual assistance to help kind of relieve me so that 549 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,399 Speaker 1: I'm not feeling so overwhelmed first thing in the morning. 550 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:45,000 Speaker 1: But yes, I will go in. I've learned not to 551 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:49,200 Speaker 1: get dressed after I'm done working on the blog and podcasts, 552 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,280 Speaker 1: but to go ahead, get dressed and ready. So I'll 553 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:54,120 Speaker 1: sit at my desk just like this with my shirt 554 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,200 Speaker 1: and paints. I'm ready to go. So once I'm done, 555 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,399 Speaker 1: I can go off to work, because what will happen 556 00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,920 Speaker 1: is I'll be like, oh, I got five more minutes, 557 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 1: I got five more minutes, and the next thing you know, 558 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 1: twenty minutes later, I'm rushing to go get everything together. 559 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,880 Speaker 1: So I find going ahead, getting dressed and then going 560 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 1: to work is super helpful. So then yes, I have 561 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,040 Speaker 1: to be at work by seven ten for a huddle 562 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:19,560 Speaker 1: with my team. We talk about the day and go 563 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: over patients and then we start patient care at seven thirty. 564 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 1: Then yes, seven thirty to four to thirty or our hours, 565 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,440 Speaker 1: but a lot of times i'm there a lot later. 566 00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:32,400 Speaker 1: Then after that, I come home and I am listening 567 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:35,040 Speaker 1: to the kids tell me about right now. They're really 568 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:40,000 Speaker 1: into Sonic and there's this new guy on YouTube named Jeffy. 569 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,080 Speaker 1: I do not like him. Sorry, Jeffy, but I don't 570 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 1: like you. He just looks weird to me. But anyways, 571 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,119 Speaker 1: they'll tell me about jeff and try to get me 572 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,639 Speaker 1: to watch it with him and getting ready for the 573 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 1: next day. Looking. I like to look and see what 574 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,120 Speaker 1: I have going on so that I'm not surprised by 575 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,679 Speaker 1: what I have first thing in the morning, so getting 576 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,199 Speaker 1: things ready as far as work, and then what I 577 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:07,480 Speaker 1: need to do for the blog and podcast, and then yeah, 578 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,959 Speaker 1: we kind of hang out. One of my favorite shows 579 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:14,120 Speaker 1: is watching WWE, so we're usually watching wrestling that night 580 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:17,800 Speaker 1: and hanging out. And yeah, I put the kiss to 581 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:19,720 Speaker 1: bed right now. They're going through the stage. I don't 582 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,320 Speaker 1: know if you guys are going to have gone through it, 583 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: but we're going through the stage where they just don't 584 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 1: want to sleep without especisically being near them, so I 585 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,560 Speaker 1: have to like sit on the bed with them until 586 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:36,000 Speaker 1: they fall asleep. Years years, and I think, I mean, 587 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 1: my husband didn't really mind doing it, so when he 588 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:42,120 Speaker 1: was there, he usually did it. So yeah, I think 589 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:46,680 Speaker 1: our kids were about seven and seven with my oldest 590 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,920 Speaker 1: by the time we finally wean them off of needing 591 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 1: to have someone in the room going to sleep, And 592 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:52,640 Speaker 1: I'm kind of surprised it took that long because they 593 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 1: do share a room, but it was very freeing when 594 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 1: we finally got to the point where we could close 595 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 1: the door and then like leave, but then the pandemic 596 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,000 Speaker 1: hit and I don't know everyone's coming going to bed 597 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:07,400 Speaker 1: super late anyway, so that benefit was sort of lost. 598 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:12,640 Speaker 1: What time do you go to bed Tony in if 599 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,280 Speaker 1: you're waking up at four thirty or trying to At 600 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:17,520 Speaker 1: least I tried to be in the bed by ten, 601 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,960 Speaker 1: And usually the kids are pretty good, but they're still 602 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:24,840 Speaker 1: kind of not on their sleep schedule because even though 603 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,720 Speaker 1: they're back in school, they're doing virtual school, so they 604 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,640 Speaker 1: haven't really gotten the concept like, oh, yeah, I gotta 605 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:31,720 Speaker 1: go to school in the morning. I need to go 606 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,440 Speaker 1: to sleep because they're home the whole day. Yeah, yeah, 607 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:38,720 Speaker 1: it's so hard. Oh my goodness. Well, yes, we always 608 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 1: end with our love of the week. We've learned that 609 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:46,000 Speaker 1: you love wrestling, which we could go into specifics on. Well, 610 00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:48,440 Speaker 1: Sarah and I can start so we can give you 611 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,960 Speaker 1: a minute to think about it. This episode is airing 612 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,040 Speaker 1: in October, and I know you two are Florida ladies. 613 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:58,240 Speaker 1: I am in Pennsylvania and October is just the most 614 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,440 Speaker 1: gorgeous month, and so October is going to be my 615 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 1: love of the week. Like right now as this is airing, 616 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 1: is probably our peak Leaf time. Just you know, reds 617 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,920 Speaker 1: yellows everywhere loving it. I'm sure Florida is going to 618 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,120 Speaker 1: be much nicer than here in like two months, because 619 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,520 Speaker 1: you guys will be nice and warm and I will 620 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,360 Speaker 1: be freezing my butt off. But oh well, I've been 621 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 1: going to enjoy October now, Sarah, how about you. I 622 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 1: feel like I need to have a dental themed one, 623 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:28,600 Speaker 1: so shout out to glide Floss because that's the only 624 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 1: kind I will tolerate. Glind Floss is pretty awesome. Yes, yes, 625 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:36,960 Speaker 1: and oh, I just wanted to tell you I lived 626 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,800 Speaker 1: in Nebraska and I know all about the beautiful fall 627 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:43,600 Speaker 1: colors like bere just and I miss that. That's the 628 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,040 Speaker 1: only thing I missed about Nebraska. Everything else, I can 629 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:49,080 Speaker 1: do everything else in Florida. Great. The winter was not 630 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,680 Speaker 1: so great. Oh god, no, oh no, no, no, no, 631 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: but yes, yeah, I am loving my wrestling right now. 632 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,400 Speaker 1: There is a paper of the event coming up, and 633 00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:00,800 Speaker 1: I am super excited because one of the rest of 634 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:04,200 Speaker 1: he was gotten for a while. I'm talking about romy Rains. 635 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,000 Speaker 1: If anyone's listening who knows about it, rum Rains has 636 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,320 Speaker 1: gone for a while and now he's champion, and I 637 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:11,719 Speaker 1: just love watching him, so I'm excited to see him 638 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:18,080 Speaker 1: in action again. I love your wrestling passion. It's good 639 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:21,320 Speaker 1: to have one. Yes, all right, well, Tany, and thank 640 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:23,760 Speaker 1: you so much for joining us on your lunch break too. 641 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,120 Speaker 1: For a listeners, she's like in her car, I'm talking 642 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:30,640 Speaker 1: to us here. So she did find her quiet spot. 643 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:34,000 Speaker 1: But we really appreciate you joining us. Yes, thank you 644 00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,440 Speaker 1: so much, tuning in, thank you, thank you for having 645 00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:40,320 Speaker 1: me all right, Well, that was exciting to hear about 646 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 1: her life and work. So our question this week comes 647 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,959 Speaker 1: from a working mom of a one year old who 648 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,400 Speaker 1: has an issue. She says that she can't quite rationalize away. 649 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,760 Speaker 1: When she picks her toddler up from his nanny, he's 650 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:58,000 Speaker 1: usually quite distraught at first and sad to leave her. 651 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:00,640 Speaker 1: This listener says that I know so that rationally I 652 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:02,280 Speaker 1: should be grateful that I have a great nanny with 653 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,160 Speaker 1: whom my son has developed a strong bond. However, emotionally 654 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,360 Speaker 1: I can't help but feel hurt that he's not excited 655 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,360 Speaker 1: to see me his mom. I don't feel that this 656 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 1: issue is addressed very often. Maybe it's not as much 657 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,280 Speaker 1: an issue for other mothers. I honestly am embarrassed that 658 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,240 Speaker 1: this bothers me so much, But I imagine at least 659 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,800 Speaker 1: some other moms who have full time childcare might feel 660 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,200 Speaker 1: similarly at least sometimes. Do you have any tips for 661 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,760 Speaker 1: feeling better and more positive about the situation. I don't 662 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,720 Speaker 1: know if I have as many tips, but I certainly 663 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:32,120 Speaker 1: have a like memories of the same thing happening to me, 664 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:34,719 Speaker 1: and I guess the only thing that helped me is 665 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,840 Speaker 1: just time going by and seeing that even if my 666 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,960 Speaker 1: toddler or infant goes through a stage where they have 667 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:44,560 Speaker 1: a nanny preference or even a daddy preference, that it 668 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 1: has never interfered with my true bond with my kids. 669 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:51,200 Speaker 1: And toddlers can't say to you, I really like this 670 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:53,320 Speaker 1: person and I'm attached to them, but I also love 671 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,560 Speaker 1: you too, mommy, and I will love you forever. But 672 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:57,560 Speaker 1: when they're older, they actually can say stuff like that 673 00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 1: to you, and you will then feel better, and in fact, 674 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,320 Speaker 1: you may feel better about your toddler because you kind 675 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:07,200 Speaker 1: of know, like how things are going to progress. You know, 676 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 1: the maternal bond and the paternal bond and the real 677 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,240 Speaker 1: family bond, and that was continuous bonding that goes on 678 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:15,640 Speaker 1: throughout the years. There's nothing like that, at least in 679 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:18,640 Speaker 1: my experience. So, I mean, I hate when people say, 680 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,560 Speaker 1: just you wait, But my joke was that, like, this 681 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,280 Speaker 1: is one of those times I'm saying, just wait when 682 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,680 Speaker 1: it will get easier and you will be okay with 683 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,480 Speaker 1: it if it still happens. And in fact, last night, 684 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: Jennevie woke up and screamed daddy, and all I could 685 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:34,040 Speaker 1: think of was, good thing she's not screaming for Yes, 686 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,480 Speaker 1: can we choose which parent gets the preference at like 687 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:42,880 Speaker 1: two am? That's you know, you would I really sympathize 688 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,400 Speaker 1: with this one too. In our case, it was that 689 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,640 Speaker 1: when Jasper was about twelve to eighteen months old, he 690 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:52,800 Speaker 1: developed this incredibly strong preference for Michael, like a very 691 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,760 Speaker 1: strong attachment to Michael, to the point like when we 692 00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:58,080 Speaker 1: were together, he would run away from me to him. 693 00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,280 Speaker 1: He would like cry if I picked him up Michael 694 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:04,560 Speaker 1: was nearby, And I mean this was just infuriating on 695 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:07,920 Speaker 1: some level because like my husband was traveling three to 696 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,440 Speaker 1: four days per week. He was coming home at like 697 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:14,440 Speaker 1: seven thirty on the nights when he was not you know, 698 00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:17,400 Speaker 1: this was when our in our rough stage of trying 699 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,000 Speaker 1: to adjust both of us to parenthood and Michael sort 700 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,759 Speaker 1: of figuring out what that might mean in terms of 701 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,759 Speaker 1: his better work life balance. But this was, this was 702 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:27,959 Speaker 1: in the thick of it, and so I wanted how 703 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:32,080 Speaker 1: pissed off I was that I was spending way, way, 704 00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:36,640 Speaker 1: way more interactive quality time with my kid than he was, 705 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:40,880 Speaker 1: and yet my toddler was showing this huge and vocal 706 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,080 Speaker 1: preference for my husband. The one thing that I think 707 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,719 Speaker 1: was helpful for me was realizing that, like, clearly, this 708 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 1: isn't rational, Like if this kid knew what side his 709 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,000 Speaker 1: bread was buttered on, like he would be not doing this, 710 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 1: Like so you have to understand that a twelve to 711 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:58,279 Speaker 1: eight month eighteen month well is not rational creature, Like 712 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,239 Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's obvious. You can see that 713 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,640 Speaker 1: when they like crawl over and lick their stroller tires, 714 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:07,080 Speaker 1: like clearly they are not you know, thinking through what's 715 00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:11,200 Speaker 1: going on. They have just, for whatever reason, gotten in 716 00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,759 Speaker 1: this stage, like similar to me, they always want to 717 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:17,360 Speaker 1: wear the same pants, or they refuse to eat apples 718 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:20,000 Speaker 1: after eating apples for six months, like who knows, But 719 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,960 Speaker 1: if you just tell yourself, like toddlers are completely irrational creatures. 720 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:26,880 Speaker 1: Like as they realize what's going on in life, they 721 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,760 Speaker 1: will come to see as Sarah was saying, like how 722 00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:33,600 Speaker 1: that they do love mommy and this is you know, 723 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,120 Speaker 1: hurtful to mommy if they don't show that, Like you know, 724 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:40,279 Speaker 1: they become more developed emotional human beings and until they 725 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,839 Speaker 1: get there, you just kind of have to ride it out. 726 00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,719 Speaker 1: And I'm sure you can tell this person that you 727 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 1: and Jasper are very close now, Oh yeah we are. 728 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,879 Speaker 1: We have. He came to talk to me in bed 729 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:52,239 Speaker 1: for a while last night. You know, we had like 730 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,359 Speaker 1: a half hour chat and I was thirteen years old. 731 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,160 Speaker 1: Like you know, he likes Michael too, but he doesn't 732 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,680 Speaker 1: scream to run over. Do you remember that baby stage, 733 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,440 Speaker 1: especially with your first baby, when you really feel like 734 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,440 Speaker 1: you're gonna have a baby forever? Like do you remember that? 735 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:07,440 Speaker 1: Like you're like, well, this is my life now, like 736 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:09,319 Speaker 1: I have a baby, Well except that I have had 737 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:12,239 Speaker 1: a baby forever because I have more you have, but 738 00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:15,520 Speaker 1: like this individual baby is like you know, fast forward, 739 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,520 Speaker 1: like go back in your pictures. You're like, oh my god, 740 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:19,799 Speaker 1: things just change. So yeah, no things to change. Yeah, 741 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,520 Speaker 1: they grow up, they and they become much more rational 742 00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:26,680 Speaker 1: about it, so good, good thing, good thing. All right. 743 00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,400 Speaker 1: This has been best of both worlds, talking with doctor 744 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,480 Speaker 1: Tony and Maambe about dentistry and her life. We'll be 745 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,399 Speaker 1: back next week with more on making work and life 746 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:39,280 Speaker 1: fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah 747 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:43,000 Speaker 1: at the shoebox dot com or at the Underscore shoe 748 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:46,719 Speaker 1: Box on Instagram, and you can find me Laura at 749 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:50,040 Speaker 1: Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best of 750 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:53,799 Speaker 1: both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for more 751 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:55,960 Speaker 1: on making work and life work together.