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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and don't come to

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Speaker 1: stuff I've never told you production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: And as we record this, we just had labor Day

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Speaker 1: here in the United States, and that made me start

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Speaker 1: to ponder about, um, some stuff around work and unions

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Speaker 1: and labor and our job is not, by any means

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Speaker 1: the only one. But our job is when it's hard

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Speaker 1: to turn off that back of the brain because you're

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Speaker 1: always kind of like, yeah, oh, here's a new story,

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Speaker 1: we should talk about our here's it's just always back

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Speaker 1: there working. I know I've talked about this before. I

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Speaker 1: do use work to distract myself from stress, which is

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Speaker 1: not necessarily the best thing. Um. So it's one of

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Speaker 1: those things I've I've struggled with where I'm like just

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Speaker 1: always working, but it's because I'm stressed, but because I

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Speaker 1: also love fan fiction so much, I can distract myself

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Speaker 1: with that instead of working. But it is hard for

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Speaker 1: me and especially like I get all caught up in uh.

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Speaker 1: I feel good when I'm productive, and for me, productive

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Speaker 1: is tied to work. So there's just not like a

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Speaker 1: lot of things that it's hard to unravel. And the

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Speaker 1: pandemic has shown a lot of light on some of

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Speaker 1: them for me, and I know for a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: So I also I have that app where I try

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Speaker 1: to keep track of like how much I'm working. I'll

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Speaker 1: just like kind of especially on the weekends or something like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're working right now, let me log in, and so

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Speaker 1: I can get a better view of how much time

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Speaker 1: I'm spending. But I know it is a big point

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Speaker 1: of conversation right now. So we want to bring back

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Speaker 1: this classic episode on work life balance. Uh So, please

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Speaker 1: enjoy Stuff Mom Never Told You From Hello, and welcome

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Speaker 1: to the podcast. I'm Kristin and I'm Caroline and this

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Speaker 1: is part three of our Stuff Mom Never Told You

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Speaker 1: plus lean In series, and today we are kind of

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Speaker 1: stepping outside of the workplace to look at life surrounding

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Speaker 1: and intertwining work and debunking this idea of work life balance. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Sandbird focuses a lot in her book on just the

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Speaker 1: fact that there really is no such thing you. There

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Speaker 1: really is in in this day and age, with our

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Speaker 1: smartphones and whatnot, there really is kind of a blurred

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Speaker 1: line now between our personal lives and our work lives,

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Speaker 1: and we kind of shouldn't be expected and maybe can't

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Speaker 1: be expected to be too completely separate people. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: there's this idea that I hadn't thought about before of

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Speaker 1: where I read lean in that really framing it as

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Speaker 1: a work life balance and trying to achieve some perfect

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Speaker 1: balance between the two often is an exercise and futility

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Speaker 1: that we may be wasting a lot of energy on

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Speaker 1: instead of just embracing the fact that the two collide

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Speaker 1: and they're going to collide and intersect all of the time.

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Speaker 1: And the chapters that were focusing on for this discussion

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Speaker 1: come from chapter eight, making your partner a real partner

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Speaker 1: in chapter nine, which is the myth of doing it all. Um, So,

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Speaker 1: just to kick things off, we are working a bunch,

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Speaker 1: especially if you are married with kids. For instance, in

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Speaker 1: two thousand nine, married middle income parents worked eight and

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Speaker 1: a half more hours per week compared to parents in

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Speaker 1: nineteen seventy nine. But you're still expected to go home

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Speaker 1: and do all of the things that parents did in

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Speaker 1: nineteen seventy nine, on top of probably more work from home. Right. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: survey found that of working adults work after leaving the office.

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Speaker 1: I mean, how many times do you get emails after hours? Like?

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Speaker 1: I mean, it happens all the time because people are

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Speaker 1: still plugged in, and they're expected to be plugged in exactly,

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Speaker 1: and especially for moms out there, this is something that

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Speaker 1: we've talked about a lot and stuff mom never told you,

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Speaker 1: motherhood and career and work and how all of those

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Speaker 1: things tied together. Um. And the fact of the matter is,

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Speaker 1: it's so much work out there for moms because one

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Speaker 1: analysis found that among working parents, moms do forty more

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Speaker 1: childcare and thirty percent more housework compared to working dad's

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Speaker 1: and that leads to a lot of unequal leisure time.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I I know I would be resentful. Um.

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Speaker 1: So a two thousand nine survey found that only nine

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Speaker 1: percent of people in dual earner marriages say they share housework,

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Speaker 1: child care, and breadwinning evenly. But this isn't to place

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Speaker 1: blame immediately on husband's and dad's shoulders, saying, you know what,

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Speaker 1: if you would just do the dishes more than everything

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Speaker 1: would be fine. No, there might be first a need

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Speaker 1: for us to look at ourselves. What are we doing.

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Speaker 1: Are we maybe kind of claiming that housework in childcare

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Speaker 1: as our own rather than taking a more collaborative approach, because,

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Speaker 1: for instance, wives to engage in gate keeping behaviors do

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Speaker 1: five more hours of family work per week than wives

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Speaker 1: who take a more collaborative approach. If you're sitting there

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Speaker 1: like looking over your husband's shoulders when he's loading the

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Speaker 1: dishwasher and saying, actually, that's not gonna fit there now.

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Speaker 1: And I'm saying this as a very anal retentive dishwasher loader.

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Speaker 1: For sure, me too. You gotta you gotta let go sometimes,

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Speaker 1: or you know, do what you're good at. Kristen is

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Speaker 1: good at letting the dishwasher. I, for one rear, I

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Speaker 1: go behind my my dude roommate and rearrange the dishwasher

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Speaker 1: completely because I'm like, why why would you just put

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Speaker 1: a glass in the middle like that? Exactly, You've got

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Speaker 1: to line it up on the sides. That's my strength. Vacuuming,

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Speaker 1: Oh god, just can someone else do the vacuuming? Like

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Speaker 1: I don't mind doing it, but I don't want to

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Speaker 1: do it all the time, and I don't our apartment

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Speaker 1: living room it's so big, So it would probably save

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Speaker 1: you and dude roommate time if you just do the dishes.

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Speaker 1: Do that dishwasher to your heart's content. He does the floors. Right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he is much better and and actually chooses to pick

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Speaker 1: up things off the floor. You know, he might throw

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Speaker 1: my shoes in my room. That's fine. I don't take

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Speaker 1: that as passive aggressive or anything. But that's his strength.

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Speaker 1: So it's it's better to work to your strength and

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Speaker 1: allow your partner, spouse, roommate, whoever, to do what they're

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Speaker 1: good at, to allow them to take some of that

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Speaker 1: responsibility off your shoulders instead of being like, well, no,

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Speaker 1: but I want to change all the diapers, and I'm

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Speaker 1: better at putting the trash bag in the trash can,

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Speaker 1: and well know, but I vacuum better, like instead of

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Speaker 1: cleaning all of that, give some of it up, exactly,

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Speaker 1: and also find a partner who is cool with accepting

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Speaker 1: the stuff that you want to give up. This was

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Speaker 1: something that I really appreciated Sandberg bringing up in the book,

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Speaker 1: which is the importance of choosing a partner Wisely, she writes,

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Speaker 1: I truly believe that the single most important career decision

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Speaker 1: that a woman makes is whether she will have a

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Speaker 1: life partner and who that partner is right, And she

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Speaker 1: even urges people to date all of the wrong people.

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Speaker 1: I mean, she says that her advice is to date

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Speaker 1: the bad boys, the cool boys, the condeven phobic boys,

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Speaker 1: the crazy boys, but don't marry them. The things that

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Speaker 1: make the bad boys sexy don't make them good husbands.

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Speaker 1: And I can totally see what she's saying, because it's

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Speaker 1: not so much Okay, well, you can't marry somebody who's

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Speaker 1: cool or whatever, but like, you just want somebody who

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Speaker 1: will support you in your decisions, whether that's to work

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Speaker 1: seventy hours a week or whether that's to work from home. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that's such a crucial starting point because I feel

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Speaker 1: like a lot of the research focuses on where women

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Speaker 1: are by middle age. They're probably married, they probably have kids,

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Speaker 1: and talking about the whole juggling act of all of

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Speaker 1: those things. But it's so important and worthwhile to take

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Speaker 1: it a few steps back and say, Okay, why don't

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Speaker 1: we start from square one, which is all right, if

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Speaker 1: we want to partner up with somebody, let's think more

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Speaker 1: about who we partner up with. Is that some someone

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Speaker 1: going to be able to support our ambition in our career? Right?

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Speaker 1: And then once you've gotten to that point, she stresses

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Speaker 1: how important communication is. Yeah, actively communicating with your partner

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Speaker 1: about going fifty fifty is obviously a really good thing

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Speaker 1: to do of saying, you know what, you do this,

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Speaker 1: I'll do that. Let's play to our strengths. And that's

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Speaker 1: one way that you can practice the consciousness that Glorious

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Speaker 1: Sinum talks about when she says it's not about biology

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Speaker 1: but about consciousness. Right, going ahead, like I was saying earlier,

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Speaker 1: like establishing what your strengths are and what your partner

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Speaker 1: strengths are and working from there, instead of going ahead

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Speaker 1: and establishing early in the relationship or early in the

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Speaker 1: marriage that you are gonna be the one shouldering both

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Speaker 1: work and all of the home life. Yeah, because if

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Speaker 1: you adopt the roles of say cook and caregiver first thing,

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Speaker 1: whether you have you know, a prince or a toad,

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Speaker 1: he's probably just gonna be okay with it, you know,

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Speaker 1: and by no fault of his own and be like, oh, okay, well,

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Speaker 1: sure you can cook dinner. That's totally fine. And when

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Speaker 1: I was reading this, it totally resonated with me because

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Speaker 1: I have had to take a step back from cooking

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Speaker 1: all of the time, doing grocery shopping all the time,

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Speaker 1: doing Although my boyfriend is very adamant that he does

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Speaker 1: his own laundry, which I'm fine about. But but I realized,

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Speaker 1: and it wasn't before I read this, to be honest,

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Speaker 1: I realized that I had just taken on all of

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Speaker 1: these roles. I was doing everything, and it wasn't that

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Speaker 1: he didn't want to, it was that I wasn't giving

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Speaker 1: him a chance to. Yeah. I mean, it was the

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Speaker 1: same thing with dude roommate, Like I was feeling so

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Speaker 1: resentful because I was doing everything to clean up this

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Speaker 1: freaking apartment. And finally I just told him. I was like,

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Speaker 1: you're driving. You're driving me crazy, Like I'm gonna end up,

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Speaker 1: like I don't know, setting all your shoes on fire

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Speaker 1: or something. And he finally was like Okay. He finally

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Speaker 1: chipped in and started doing some of the counter wiping

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Speaker 1: down and some of the vacuuming. Yeah. And and that's

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Speaker 1: why Sandburgy talks about how if you want fifty, you

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Speaker 1: gotta ask for it first of all, and then crucially

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Speaker 1: step back enough to let it actually happen. And I

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Speaker 1: still have to stop myself, and it especially comes up

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Speaker 1: with the dishwashing things, which makes me once I realized

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Speaker 1: that I'm doing it I feel a little bit crazy

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Speaker 1: because you know, like thinking about like, oh, I'm not

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Speaker 1: one of those women who stands over boyfriend's shoulder tissing

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Speaker 1: while he incorrectly you know, washes the tupper where but

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Speaker 1: I totally do it. I totally do it. So I

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Speaker 1: just have to step back, just like no, actually, you're

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go in the other room and I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna read and relax. And it's totally fine. But it's

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Speaker 1: all about just raising some awareness with yourself to begin with,

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Speaker 1: but also recognizing like what your psychosis are. For instance,

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Speaker 1: like my my roommate, and I've mentioned this before on

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Speaker 1: the podcast, like he is super psychotic about stuff. He

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Speaker 1: isn't so much like a clean freak as he is

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Speaker 1: a neat freak. I'm the other way around. I don't

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Speaker 1: care if stuff is spread out all over the apartment

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Speaker 1: as long as it's not grimy, and so, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I will come out of my room or you know,

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Speaker 1: come home and he will have cleaned and like things

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Speaker 1: are stacked in like a really weird place and he's

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Speaker 1: like moved all of my personal belongings in front of

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Speaker 1: my door. And it's like, okay, let go. You wouldn't

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Speaker 1: clean like this, but this is how he cleans. And

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Speaker 1: he just sees these things as like interlopers in the

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Speaker 1: living room space and they need to be removed. So

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Speaker 1: that's how he does it. I've got to let it go. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've had to relinquish some of my neat freakness as well.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying, okay, cleanliness often resides on a spectrum.

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Speaker 1: I'm more of the high end of the spectrum, and

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend is more middling. He's not low, but middling,

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Speaker 1: and he can at least It's not that he wants

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Speaker 1: to live in a pig sty, but it's that dishes

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Speaker 1: can sit in the sink for a while or the

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Speaker 1: floor can look a little bit dirty for a while,

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Speaker 1: and it's not going to be the end of the world.

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Speaker 1: I want to clean when I come home. Well, you

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Speaker 1: have a lot of floor space in your apartment. I

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Speaker 1: do have a lot of floor space, so hashtag bless Well, No,

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Speaker 1: I'm just talking about the amount of sweeping. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: a lot of sweeping. And I know that these kinds

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Speaker 1: of things, talking about dishes and cleaning, et cetera, seems

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Speaker 1: so negligible and maybe seem like minor points if we're

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Speaker 1: talking about career in capital C career, but it's time,

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Speaker 1: and it's time that either takes away from our work

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Speaker 1: or contributes to stress all around. And I do think

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Speaker 1: that it makes a major difference for sure. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you feel like you have to work eight, nine,

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Speaker 1: ten hours a day and then come home and continue working,

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Speaker 1: but that work is sweeping and doing dishes like it's

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Speaker 1: crazy making, Yeah, and it just gives you. It gives

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Speaker 1: you no extra time. And the benefits of fifty fifty partnerships,

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Speaker 1: not just at home but also in the workplace, have

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Speaker 1: very real results. There was a finding that Sandberg talks

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Speaker 1: about in the book, which is that the risk of

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Speaker 1: divorce reduces by about half when a wife earns half

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Speaker 1: the income and a husband does half the housework. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that would be that would be nice to I know

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Speaker 1: my mother, Well, I just like, look at my parents,

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Speaker 1: you know, they've been married for so long, and my

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Speaker 1: mother's like, I would just really love it if he

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Speaker 1: would chip in. I'm like, how long have you been married?

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Speaker 1: You know? And my dad does he If you look

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Speaker 1: at it more objectively, my dad does do a lot.

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Speaker 1: He does everything outside. He does all the bill, paying

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Speaker 1: all the financial stuff. My mom is the one who

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Speaker 1: does more of the like cooking and cleaning and laundry

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Speaker 1: and that kind of stuff. So it's like, as an

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Speaker 1: outsider who lives thirty minutes away from them. Thankfully, UM,

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Speaker 1: I can I can see that they do a lot

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Speaker 1: of equal work. It's just that when you feel like

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Speaker 1: you're the one who's putting in all of the time

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Speaker 1: doing something, you know that can put a strain on

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Speaker 1: things absolutely, um And. One thing that we might want

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Speaker 1: to liberate ourselves from two that can put a strain

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Speaker 1: on us mentally and make those differences feel even bigger

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Speaker 1: than they are, is just abandoning this notion of having

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Speaker 1: it all. This is a phrase I feel like it's

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Speaker 1: been coming up ad nauseam in magazine articles focused on women.

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Speaker 1: It's always focused on women. It's blog posts, it's tweets,

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Speaker 1: it's everything talking about can we have it all? Oh,

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Speaker 1: we can't have it all? No, maybe we should. You

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Speaker 1: know what I'm gonna say, Let's just forget about those words. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: pere you yeah, forget about them. I mean. Samberg calls

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Speaker 1: it the trap, the biggest trap ever set for women.

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Speaker 1: Um and I would. I mean, I would kind of agree.

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Speaker 1: I think it's more important to this is gonna sound

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Speaker 1: totally hippy dippy. I think it's more important to find

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Speaker 1: your happiness and your happy spot in your sweet spot

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Speaker 1: in life in general, more than it is to try

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Speaker 1: to have some like magazine created ideal of having it all. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because then the question is, well, what is all that's

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Speaker 1: going to be different to everybody? Right? When I when

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Speaker 1: I hear the phrase having it all, I picture a

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Speaker 1: stock shot online of a woman in a business suit

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Speaker 1: with a briefcase and a baby and a cell phone,

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Speaker 1: and she's very slim. I guess she's very slim and

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Speaker 1: has impeccable hair somehow. Yeah, I would love impeccable hair,

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Speaker 1: but I can't have it all, that's right. Uh Yeah.

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Speaker 1: There was a quote from the book. He says long

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Speaker 1: term success at work often depends on not trying to

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Speaker 1: meet every demand placed on us. The best way and

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Speaker 1: I highlighted those million times. The best way to make

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Speaker 1: room for both life and career is to make choices deliberately,

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Speaker 1: to set limits and stick to them, which sounds radically

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Speaker 1: different and also radically more manageable than some idea of

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Speaker 1: having it all. Well, not only the idea of having

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Speaker 1: it all, but the idea of I'm going to feel

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Speaker 1: guilty if I don't take it all on, you know,

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Speaker 1: that idea of relinquishing that guilt of like, now, I'm

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Speaker 1: human and I need to set these boundaries for myself

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Speaker 1: and for you, as the person who's depending on me.

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Speaker 1: If I tell you I can deliver X y Z,

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Speaker 1: whether you're my partner or my co worker, you know,

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Speaker 1: if I tell you that I can do all of

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Speaker 1: this stuff and then I have a nervous breakdown, You're

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Speaker 1: gonna be like, where's that TPS report? And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I couldn't do it right. And and that this resonates

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Speaker 1: not just with our TPS reports metaphorically speaking, but also

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Speaker 1: with those things at home, of the cooking, including and

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Speaker 1: all of the unpaid work of maybe relinquishing some of

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Speaker 1: the uh, letting it get a little messy every now

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Speaker 1: and then, and not worrying about it, because the idea

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Speaker 1: of striving for having it all is just chasing some

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Speaker 1: made up construct exactly, and a lot of other women

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Speaker 1: have realized these kinds of things. Um Tina Fey, one

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Speaker 1: of our favorites in her book Bossy Pants, she talks

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Speaker 1: about this idea of having it all and the fact

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Speaker 1: that you are as a woman so judged for whether

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Speaker 1: you have it all and how you got there. She says,

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Speaker 1: what is the rudest question you can ask a woman

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Speaker 1: is how do you juggle it all? People constantly ask

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Speaker 1: me with an accusatory look in their eye. And again

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Speaker 1: that image that you talked about of the well dressed,

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Speaker 1: pants suited woman with the briefcase and the baby looking

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Speaker 1: harried but also put together at the same time, I

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Speaker 1: feel like sums all of that up. But yeah, that

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Speaker 1: idea of having it all unless we get like twelve

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Speaker 1: more hours in each day somehow, I you know, I mean,

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Speaker 1: but then I would just use it to sleep. Let's

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Speaker 1: be honest. Um. Samberg also cided Dr Lorie glimpse Er,

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Speaker 1: who's the dean of the wheel Cornell Medical College, who

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Speaker 1: was talking more about balancing career and child care. But

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Speaker 1: I feel like her advice really resonated to women like

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Speaker 1: us who might not be married with children. She said,

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Speaker 1: I had to decide what mattered and what didn't, and

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Speaker 1: I learned to be a perfectionist only in the things

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Speaker 1: that mattered. Oh, This is something I struggle with all

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Speaker 1: the time because I want I want to do my best.

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Speaker 1: And this goes back to our whole self doubting issue

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Speaker 1: that we talked about before, Our whole like feeling like

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Speaker 1: a fraud and I'm not good enough and I have

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Speaker 1: to put in a thousand percent or people are going

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Speaker 1: to think I'm, like, you know, terrible at my job

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Speaker 1: or or my life or whatever. Um I mean. I

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Speaker 1: I also struggle with Noe. Pick the things that matter,

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Speaker 1: like the things that are really important at work, but

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Speaker 1: also the things in life that really make you happy.

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Speaker 1: Pick those things, put your energies into him. Don't try

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Speaker 1: to be everything to everybody. That is a recipe for

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Speaker 1: anxiety city, for sure. No trust me, it is um.

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Speaker 1: There's also the great Nora Ephron, who in her Wellesley

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Speaker 1: commencement speech said, it will be a little messy, but

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Speaker 1: embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in

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Speaker 1: the complications. It will not be anything like what you

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Speaker 1: think it will be like, but surprises are good for you,

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Speaker 1: and don't be frightened. You can always change your mind.

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Speaker 1: I know, I've had four careers and three husbands. I

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Speaker 1: think she's totally right. You're looking at a girl who

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Speaker 1: went to three colleges and four years like I don't.

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Speaker 1: I try to pursue the things that make me the happiest.

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Speaker 1: And if that means getting a little messy and transferring

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Speaker 1: a lot of times, uh, then you've got to do

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Speaker 1: what you've got to do exactly. And Sandberg herself says,

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Speaker 1: if I had to embrace a definition of success, it

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Speaker 1: would be that success is making the best choices we

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Speaker 1: can and accepting and to me, part of that is unbalancing.

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Speaker 1: This whole work life balance notion that we hear over

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Speaker 1: and over and over again. And I understand why because

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Speaker 1: thinking about it, yeah, like it makes sense, but sort

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Speaker 1: of in the same way that having it all. Maybe

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Speaker 1: he's leading us astray. Focusing on work life balance makes

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Speaker 1: it sound like we can neatly discriminate between Oh, well

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Speaker 1: this is this is my work self, now this is

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Speaker 1: my life self. Well, I have a great real life example.

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Speaker 1: This is not my example, but my friend Brandon Um

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Speaker 1: does Humans of New York on Facebook. Maybe you've seen it.

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Speaker 1: He post a lot of pictures from New York, obviously,

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Speaker 1: and he took this picture of this older gentleman in

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Speaker 1: a part and he starts talking to him and they

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Speaker 1: have this conversation that Brandon writes about where he's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, what is your greatest achievement or what advice

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Speaker 1: would you give to a large group of people, And

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Speaker 1: the man starts talking about how, you know, he's proud

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Speaker 1: that his children grew up to be the great people

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Speaker 1: that they are, the successful people that they are, but

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Speaker 1: how filled with regret he is that he was so focused,

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Speaker 1: laser focused on, you know, climbing the ladder in his career,

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Speaker 1: that that was his focus. He was glad he could

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Speaker 1: provide for his children, and he was glad they turned

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Speaker 1: out okay. So when Brandon said, you know, would you

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Speaker 1: regret it if you had given up a few rungs

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Speaker 1: on the ladder to have been home more often? And

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Speaker 1: the man said, no, you know, like that's that's a person,

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Speaker 1: that's a real life person who didn't have whatever balance

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Speaker 1: we are seeking, whatever your version of balance is. He

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Speaker 1: and he regretted it. But you know, so I I

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Speaker 1: take that that man that Brandon spoke with as a

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Speaker 1: great example of like, find what makes you happy and

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Speaker 1: hind it before it's too late. Yeah, And I think

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Speaker 1: one of the first steps along the way to doing

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Speaker 1: that is dismissing this idea that it's even possible to

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Speaker 1: have it all, that that even that that even makes

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Speaker 1: sense in any way whatsoever, and that it's not going

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Speaker 1: to get a little messy sometimes along the way. Now,

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Speaker 1: that's totally fine, and I feel like, you know, the

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Speaker 1: more we can kind of accept that, then that can

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Speaker 1: possibly lead into i don't know, opening up some breathing

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Speaker 1: room in the workplace day to day as well. So

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Speaker 1: I'm sure that listeners have lots of experience with this

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Speaker 1: as well. So I'm curious to hear from folks about

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Speaker 1: what they think about that idea of work life balance.

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Speaker 1: Do we need to unbalance the work life balance? Do

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Speaker 1: we need better language or just get rid of it

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Speaker 1: and start fresh. I don't know what what do we

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Speaker 1: do about this? I want to I do want to

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Speaker 1: hear how people do achieve any out of balance or

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Speaker 1: you know, are you in a super corporate environment and

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Speaker 1: you're working with maybe your superiors to help achieve some

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Speaker 1: sort of flexibility, or you know, do you feel like

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Speaker 1: you're slaving away in a in a little box all

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Speaker 1: the time. Let us know your thoughts. Mom stuff at

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Speaker 1: Discovery dot com is where you can email us. We

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Speaker 1: also highly encourage you to check out what is going

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Speaker 1: on with lean In. It's not just a book, it

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Speaker 1: is also a movement, so head over to lean in

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Speaker 1: dot org. They also have a great Facebook network, not

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Speaker 1: surprisingly since CEO of Facebook Cheryl Sandberg is at the

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Speaker 1: helm of this. There at Facebook dot com slash lean in,

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Speaker 1: and there you can find a lot of women who

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Speaker 1: are sharing their experiences and you can share there as well.

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Speaker 1: And next week we're gonna tie up our series. It's

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Speaker 1: gonna be over Caroline. What are we gonna talk about? Uh,

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Speaker 1: We're going to talk about the word bossy and why

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Speaker 1: that is a quarrel lot of word. So this series

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Speaker 1: we will have started one with negotiation. We're gonna end

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Speaker 1: things at the top of the ladder when we're hopefully

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