1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,240
Speaker 1: My ex abandon our family for three years, but now

2
00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:05,440
Speaker 1: she wants back in. Should I let her?

3
00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:08,760
Speaker 2: Hey, once they're voted off the island, or do you

4
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,080
Speaker 2: choose to leave the island.

5
00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:13,480
Speaker 1: You can't come back. You can't try to get those idols.

6
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,639
Speaker 1: Come on on, once you turn your back, you can't

7
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:17,160
Speaker 1: come back.

8
00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:21,400
Speaker 2: You can't get out to say you out, that's right.

9
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,599
Speaker 1: My ex girlfriend and I got together six years ago,

10
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,720
Speaker 1: and from day one we got on like two peas

11
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,880
Speaker 1: in a pod, kind of like these two peas in

12
00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:30,320
Speaker 1: a pod.

13
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:39,360
Speaker 2: Ayo, Hey, editors, put us in a pea poda.

14
00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:45,360
Speaker 1: Then after two and a half years together, that's gonna

15
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:45,680
Speaker 1: be fun.

16
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,920
Speaker 2: You should just tell our editors to put us places.

17
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:52,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that. We need to do more of that, honestly.

18
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,720
Speaker 2: And they're just like not, they're gonna put us somewhere else.

19
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's actually even better, editors. If you

20
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,440
Speaker 1: want to get creative, try yeah, do it.

21
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,720
Speaker 2: We say peapod, but that they just put us in

22
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:08,160
Speaker 2: like a yellow pool with like a todther pissing in it.

23
00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,880
Speaker 1: But then after two and a half years she fell pregnant.

24
00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:14,399
Speaker 1: We had spoken about kids before and we both wanted

25
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,279
Speaker 1: a family, but not after just two years together.

26
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:18,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's early, that's early.

27
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,720
Speaker 1: We spoke a lot about it and asked a few

28
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,840
Speaker 1: of our friends that already have kids, and eventually decided

29
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,480
Speaker 1: to go for it. Wow, you know, it doesn't always happen.

30
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:29,639
Speaker 1: We also agree that even if our relationship doesn't last,

31
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:33,040
Speaker 1: our child's well being would always come first. Right before

32
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,280
Speaker 1: the lockdown in twenty twenty three, weeks before the d date,

33
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,480
Speaker 1: we welcomed a perfect little girl and both of us

34
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,440
Speaker 1: were completely infatuated.

35
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:47,280
Speaker 2: Okay, great and case closed story over the end half

36
00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,240
Speaker 2: only ever after great?

37
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:55,280
Speaker 1: Nope, No, let's fucking down on your dreams.

38
00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:00,240
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, hey, hey, put put a hydraulic press on

39
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,960
Speaker 2: this screen and then put dreams and have it be

40
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:09,760
Speaker 2: crushed or get crushed. My head under the hydraulic press, crush.

41
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:17,320
Speaker 1: Us love that. It was a big adjustment, but our

42
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:20,920
Speaker 1: girl was an angel and we settled into parenthood rather quickly.

43
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,000
Speaker 2: How old are we again?

44
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:23,480
Speaker 1: Oh? Twenty seven and twenty six?

45
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,880
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, that's us. So wait, you're twenty seven and

46
00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:28,640
Speaker 2: I'm twenty six and this is.

47
00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:33,160
Speaker 1: Our baby daughter. Ah, just hedding editors put a baby daughter?

48
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:42,600
Speaker 1: Wait even better? Make can you make twins, one me,

49
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:46,640
Speaker 1: one one baby Sam, one baby John. That would be great.

50
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:48,280
Speaker 2: Did you see the lot here?

51
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,120
Speaker 1: I know right this. Did you see the one where

52
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,799
Speaker 1: Jose made me a baby Drake's baby?

53
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,280
Speaker 2: No, I didn't. You saw the one where Zachi made

54
00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,520
Speaker 2: you rapping though? Yeah?

55
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,160
Speaker 1: Yes, that was incredible.

56
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:06,079
Speaker 2: That was amazing, life changing, and that Anthony's love chronicles

57
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:06,600
Speaker 2: so good.

58
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:11,560
Speaker 1: We have amazing editors. Keep that in. Yeah, you guys

59
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,839
Speaker 1: deserve it. It was a big adjustment, but our girl

60
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,880
Speaker 1: was an angel and we settled into parenthood rather quickly.

61
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,760
Speaker 1: Everything was going great at first, but months later it

62
00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:22,360
Speaker 1: all changed.

63
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:23,600
Speaker 2: Oh no, what happened?

64
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,560
Speaker 1: I was working late when I got a text from

65
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,480
Speaker 1: my mother telling me my girlfriend dropped our daughter off

66
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,799
Speaker 1: while she ran some errands. Four hours later, she hadn't

67
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,720
Speaker 1: returned and now wasn't answering her phone.

68
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,000
Speaker 2: Oh shit, Is this like one of those scenarios where

69
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,320
Speaker 2: it's like, Hey, I'm dropping the baby off at the

70
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,000
Speaker 2: fire station.

71
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:42,880
Speaker 1: Dude.

72
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,360
Speaker 2: You know, if you go to your local fire station,

73
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,480
Speaker 2: there is a baby compartment that you could just like

74
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:52,320
Speaker 2: slide your baby in to. Wow, if you want to desert,

75
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:56,280
Speaker 2: it isn't that crazy? That is I mean your local

76
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,000
Speaker 2: fire station. You could go check it out.

77
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,280
Speaker 1: Wow, that thing? Do I want to see that now?

78
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,840
Speaker 2: Yeah? Dude? Oh man free babies.

79
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:10,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's exactly what I thought of. I called too,

80
00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,960
Speaker 1: but she didn't answer me either. I got off work,

81
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,760
Speaker 1: collected my daughter, and went home to find a note

82
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,040
Speaker 1: from my girlfriend.

83
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:21,680
Speaker 2: Oh geez, not the note. Not that notes are not

84
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:26,040
Speaker 2: good unless no, well, no, no, well, missut I was

85
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,719
Speaker 2: about to say mysterious notes aren't good, but my friend

86
00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:30,400
Speaker 2: James sent me a note the other day and it

87
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,599
Speaker 2: was really cute and it was sealed with his seal.

88
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:36,120
Speaker 1: That is wow. That is damn. I gotta step my

89
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,159
Speaker 1: game up. Over here, Where are my mysterious sealed notes?

90
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:40,880
Speaker 2: It's over there. It's really cute.

91
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,040
Speaker 1: That's sweet. She said that she couldn't handle the stress

92
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,600
Speaker 1: of lockdown and the baby, and she just needed some

93
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:47,960
Speaker 1: time to clear her head.

94
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:48,640
Speaker 2: Okay.

95
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,479
Speaker 1: She also said not to call and that we would

96
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,320
Speaker 1: talk soon, but days turned into weeks.

97
00:04:54,560 --> 00:05:00,360
Speaker 2: She didn't say anything for weeks up. Oh wow, that's

98
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:00,960
Speaker 2: pretty rough.

99
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,680
Speaker 1: Weeks weeks with no contact from her or anyone else

100
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,680
Speaker 1: other than her sister, who visited her niece often but

101
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:12,880
Speaker 1: never mentioned my girlfriend. Fast forward. Three years.

102
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:19,600
Speaker 2: Three years she abandoned everyone. Three years food run an

103
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:24,839
Speaker 2: errand the errand I went to get milk and cigarettes,

104
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,400
Speaker 2: and that shit takes a long time.

105
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,000
Speaker 1: I went to Antarctica and I had to bring the

106
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,960
Speaker 1: cow population to produce the milk.

107
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a whole operation. Yeah it took a couple

108
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,320
Speaker 2: of years. Don't worry about it.

109
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:43,479
Speaker 1: Antarctica has milk. Now you're welcome, society welcome. And now

110
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:47,119
Speaker 1: my ex girlfriend is slowly starting to reach out again.

111
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,920
Speaker 1: It was slow at first, liking photos of our girl

112
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,520
Speaker 1: on Instagram and the odd comment, but that was until

113
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,400
Speaker 1: last week. Okay, I'm sorry, but if you're just like

114
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,680
Speaker 1: leaving a comment like don't, I'd almost rather you just

115
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:04,000
Speaker 1: become completely gone, like yeah, three years like and you're

116
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,839
Speaker 1: dropping a comment on Instagram like, oh what a little

117
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:07,760
Speaker 1: cutie she is?

118
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,640
Speaker 2: No, but you're her no mother, You're literally her mother.

119
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,279
Speaker 1: What are we doing?

120
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:14,480
Speaker 2: Crazy?

121
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,599
Speaker 1: She sent me a text saying that she had seen

122
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,360
Speaker 1: how well our daughter and I are doing and asking

123
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,160
Speaker 1: if we could meet up. I was reluctant, but we

124
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,320
Speaker 1: agreed before our daughter was born that her well being

125
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:30,080
Speaker 1: is what mattered the most. So reluctantly I agreed to

126
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,560
Speaker 1: meet up for coffee so she can see our girl.

127
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,280
Speaker 1: But now I'm having second thoughts. How do I forgive

128
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:38,200
Speaker 1: her for walking out on me and more importantly, on

129
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,640
Speaker 1: our daughter. There is an update.

130
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:46,040
Speaker 2: Yet, don't you don't I'll maybe you do. I don't know,

131
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,600
Speaker 2: but like three years is a long time she's gonna

132
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,480
Speaker 2: have to Like there's some there's some shit she has

133
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:54,520
Speaker 2: to prove, you know.

134
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:58,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I there's also I think, like forgiving in

135
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,240
Speaker 1: the sense of of letting go and moving on, But

136
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,800
Speaker 1: can she be involved in the daughter's life?

137
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,600
Speaker 2: And like, is st like she had to leave because

138
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:11,440
Speaker 2: she just, you know, didn't feel stable, and so like

139
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,160
Speaker 2: is she ready to take on that responsibility? Like she

140
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,280
Speaker 2: has to prove that she is.

141
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just the trust the hurt, Yeah.

142
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,080
Speaker 2: A lot sucked out to just go somewhere for three

143
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,280
Speaker 2: years once you've left them with a child, Sam, I

144
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,920
Speaker 2: had to get the milk, had to get supposed to

145
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:31,280
Speaker 2: Antarctic cows. But now those scientists up there, they have

146
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:38,200
Speaker 2: unlimited milk. Put us an Antarctica with cows editors and

147
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,320
Speaker 2: and I'm sucking on the teeth.

148
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,160
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see what actual ed as they

149
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:49,239
Speaker 1: put in oh my God onto the update. As agreed,

150
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,080
Speaker 1: My ex and I met up a few days ago

151
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,640
Speaker 1: in a local cafe, and I got there early to

152
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,600
Speaker 1: try and work out what I was going to say

153
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,440
Speaker 1: to her after three years?

154
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,000
Speaker 2: Fuck three? What is she going to say to you? Dude?

155
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:00,760
Speaker 1: Truly?

156
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,480
Speaker 2: What is she gonna say to you?

157
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,280
Speaker 1: Well, I hadn't mentioned it in my original post. I

158
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:08,040
Speaker 1: had no intention of bringing our daughter along. My ex

159
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,960
Speaker 1: had contact numbers of my family members, so she was

160
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,840
Speaker 1: with a coworker, and when my ex arrived, she was

161
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,600
Speaker 1: a little disappointed, but not at all surprised to see

162
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,960
Speaker 1: that I was alone. The next few minutes mainly consisted

163
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,480
Speaker 1: of small talk before we eventually addressed the enormous elephant

164
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:24,560
Speaker 1: in the room.

165
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:29,239
Speaker 2: For three years and antarctica suck it on cow cheefs,

166
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,400
Speaker 2: pull it on them.

167
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,720
Speaker 1: Where had she been hiding for three years of our

168
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,960
Speaker 1: daughter's life. She admitted that she suffered a lot with

169
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,120
Speaker 1: postpartum depression, and she couldn't bear to show it in

170
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,680
Speaker 1: front of our girl. She acknowledged that leaving the way

171
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,880
Speaker 1: she did was wrong, but she wanted to be able

172
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,840
Speaker 1: to focus solely on herself while she got therapy.

173
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,280
Speaker 2: It's tough. Tough to be mad, tough to be mad

174
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:53,600
Speaker 2: at that.

175
00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:55,360
Speaker 1: I mean, I do, Yeah, what do you think?

176
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:55,800
Speaker 2: What do you think?

177
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,760
Speaker 1: You gotta tell me? You gotta at least say yeah,

178
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,760
Speaker 1: And I guess she did kind of say like time

179
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:02,200
Speaker 1: a lot.

180
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,880
Speaker 2: But you like, like, I think it's your duty to

181
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,480
Speaker 2: your partner and to the kid. Just be like hey,

182
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,880
Speaker 2: like I'm really struggling. I need help, Yeah, but also

183
00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,360
Speaker 2: really struggling and need help. It's like hard to even

184
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:16,720
Speaker 2: think to ask that.

185
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:17,199
Speaker 1: It's just.

186
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,720
Speaker 2: Be a depressed asshole. You can still be a depressed asshole.

187
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I do feel for her, But it's like,

188
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,520
Speaker 1: if she had done just a little bit more, even

189
00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:30,960
Speaker 1: in the note, it could have been a different situation.

190
00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:34,439
Speaker 1: At least. I asked why it took her three years

191
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,440
Speaker 1: to resurface. She sent a text for our daughter's first birthday,

192
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,800
Speaker 1: but that was it, and she broke down, admitting that

193
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,719
Speaker 1: she was so scared of what I thought of her

194
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,400
Speaker 1: for disappearing. In a way, she was right to be scared,

195
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,800
Speaker 1: because while I could come to terms with being dumped,

196
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:50,280
Speaker 1: I was furious because she left our daughter. Throughout our conversation,

197
00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:52,400
Speaker 1: I could tell she's grown a lot as a person

198
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,320
Speaker 1: over the last few years, which is something we spoke

199
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,680
Speaker 1: for well over an hour, and when I finally got

200
00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:00,680
Speaker 1: off to leave, she asked where we stood. I told

201
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,280
Speaker 1: her that I appreciate that she's been really trying to

202
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,400
Speaker 1: turn over a new leaf, but it's going to take

203
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,840
Speaker 1: time for me to fully move on. But as a

204
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,400
Speaker 1: show of good faith, I showed her a video of

205
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,560
Speaker 1: our girl. It's about six seven months old, but it's

206
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,640
Speaker 1: my favorite. It's her and one of my dad's cows

207
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:17,640
Speaker 1: moving at each other.

208
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,480
Speaker 2: How did I know? How did I know about the

209
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,959
Speaker 2: Antarctic and cow milk?

210
00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:24,440
Speaker 1: Whoa mur?

211
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,600
Speaker 2: Put my face on the cow? Mur?

212
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,560
Speaker 1: Put my face on a blank? New phrase of the year.

213
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,520
Speaker 1: Just before I left, I got her phone number so

214
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,640
Speaker 1: we can maintain a bit of proper contact rather than

215
00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:43,960
Speaker 1: through social media, and I agreed to send a couple

216
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,360
Speaker 1: of photos of our girl. I appreciate all the advice

217
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,400
Speaker 1: I got last time, and I'm wondering where my ex

218
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,040
Speaker 1: and I go from here. My hope is that we

219
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,320
Speaker 1: coexist and maintain a healthy friendship for our daughter's sake.

220
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,480
Speaker 1: But after what happened before, it's hard to fully trust

221
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,200
Speaker 1: my ex. Yeah, what do you guys think.

222
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,120
Speaker 2: I mean, he's been showing her some like videos and stuff.

223
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,959
Speaker 2: Maybe he starts a YouTube channel and she could subscribe.

224
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:12,800
Speaker 3: Aha, become a daddy blogger, right asense?

225
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, you give me a subscriber's that's when I want

226
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,199
Speaker 2: you to be in our daughter's life. A subscriber.

227
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:24,560
Speaker 1: Actually, honey, listen, there's this little thing called a paywall. Yeah,

228
00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:30,440
Speaker 1: ten bucks a month if you want the premium service. Yeah,

229
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:35,080
Speaker 1: every your subscription helps me support With your ten dollars

230
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:39,040
Speaker 1: a month, it will help me support our daughter. Like,

231
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,120
Speaker 1: what are we doing here?

232
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,320
Speaker 2: We're running a business, but John and I faces a

233
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:46,280
Speaker 2: dollar bills.

234
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:54,079
Speaker 3: We are the abandoned baby. Content monetization. Yeah, you're welcome.

235
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:58,000
Speaker 3: You're welcome. Turn these lemons into some lemonade. Put my

236
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:06,120
Speaker 3: face on eleven ough, god content, no one asked for.

237
00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:09,800
Speaker 3: Side note two things that I didn't mention to my

238
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:13,760
Speaker 3: ex before. I have zero intentions of rekindling our relationship.

239
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,200
Speaker 3: I'm open to co parenting if she can prove she's

240
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:18,079
Speaker 3: not going to pull another disappearing act.

241
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,200
Speaker 1: But that's it. I really loved her once, but I'm

242
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,960
Speaker 1: a different person now and that ship has well and

243
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,280
Speaker 1: truly sale three years, dude.

244
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,480
Speaker 2: And also they had only been dating for two years,

245
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,280
Speaker 2: so they basically like missed a whole relationship.

246
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,280
Speaker 1: And dating not married like.

247
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,640
Speaker 2: Ye yeah, exactly percent.

248
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,760
Speaker 1: At one point, I considered putting our girl up for adoption.

249
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,240
Speaker 1: She was about nine months at the time. I was

250
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,480
Speaker 1: mentally and emotionally drained. Work was stressing me out, and

251
00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:44,600
Speaker 1: coming home to my daughter just didn't give me any joy.

252
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:48,400
Speaker 1: As much as I love her. Oh wow, that's really tough.

253
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,720
Speaker 1: I was going through the process. But one night I

254
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,200
Speaker 1: looked at her in her cot and she looked back

255
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,920
Speaker 1: at me, and the look on her little face, a

256
00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,000
Speaker 1: cute little smile, and her blue eyes shining like eye

257
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,160
Speaker 1: I was her whole world. It told me that things

258
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,040
Speaker 1: would get better. So I canceled the adoption and I

259
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:10,800
Speaker 1: never looked back. Oh I hope he's been Ope he's

260
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,440
Speaker 1: fro and his ex doesn't even know that.

261
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:14,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

262
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:18,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, he hasn't even told her that yet. Yeah. Wow,

263
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,280
Speaker 1: there's another update. Get ready. It's been a few weeks,

264
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,800
Speaker 1: so I thought i'd give another update regarding my progress

265
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,240
Speaker 1: with my ex. First off, thanks everyone for the advice

266
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,800
Speaker 1: and support. It's been a huge help. So down to business,

267
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,960
Speaker 1: per my ex's request, I accompanied her to a session

268
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,840
Speaker 1: with her therapist and she reassured me that she and

269
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:39,000
Speaker 1: my ex have made good progress, but she still has

270
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,800
Speaker 1: some issues to work through, specifically her relationship with her parents.

271
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,360
Speaker 1: She told me they separated and her mother had a temper,

272
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,480
Speaker 1: but I didn't know how bad it really was. After

273
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,120
Speaker 1: the session, my ex left and I hung on for

274
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,960
Speaker 1: a minute to ask her therapist for her opinion regarding

275
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,319
Speaker 1: reintroducing my daughter to my ex. She recommended holding off

276
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,880
Speaker 1: for now and offered me a free session to talk

277
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,200
Speaker 1: about it. So I'm going to see her next week. Okay,

278
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:05,880
Speaker 1: that's that's pretty cool. That's good.

279
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:06,640
Speaker 2: That's good.

280
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,920
Speaker 1: On a more positive note, my daughter started preschool two

281
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,199
Speaker 1: weeks ago, is already making friends and has absolutely been

282
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,360
Speaker 1: loving life. And I sent my ex a few photos

283
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:19,200
Speaker 1: of our girl to show some support. So things are

284
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,920
Speaker 1: looking up. Thanks again to everyone who's commented so far.

285
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,000
Speaker 1: The support I've gotten has been incredible and it makes

286
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:28,000
Speaker 1: the struggle of raising a child alone a little bit better.

287
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:28,600
Speaker 2: Wow.

288
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,600
Speaker 1: What do you what do you think? In sam? Is it?

289
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,080
Speaker 1: Is it? Is it time to reintroduce or not? There's one?

290
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,080
Speaker 1: There's another update.

291
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,520
Speaker 2: Oh, there's another update.

292
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,840
Speaker 1: We do? Wow, the update we do?

293
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,040
Speaker 2: I mean if the therapist says, wait off, then I'm like, no, don't,

294
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:45,720
Speaker 2: don't do it? Wait wait you know, like yes again,

295
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:50,400
Speaker 2: Like there's yes. Like going to therapy is great, asking

296
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,040
Speaker 2: to be reached and introduced is great, but you just

297
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:56,760
Speaker 2: have to like show consistently that you can be there

298
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,720
Speaker 2: for a significant amount of time, like six months a year,

299
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,200
Speaker 2: and that ent reintroduction of your daughter is slow.

300
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been. I don't know if we know the

301
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:08,400
Speaker 1: exact timeframe, but I think it's maybe been weeks, maybe

302
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:09,880
Speaker 1: a month or two. At point.

303
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:13,200
Speaker 2: You you are not you have to earn mom, you know,

304
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,280
Speaker 2: like mom is not a term that you get immediately, Like,

305
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,160
Speaker 2: that's a term that she has to earn and she

306
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,000
Speaker 2: has to show up for that.

307
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,720
Speaker 1: Oh it's been. It's been basically almost two months at

308
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:26,040
Speaker 1: this point. So not there yet. Onto the third update.

309
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,960
Speaker 1: I didn't intend to do another update until my ex

310
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,160
Speaker 1: and I had made good progress. But she made a

311
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,160
Speaker 1: confession yesterday and I don't know how to handle it.

312
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,520
Speaker 1: Oh geez, just when you thought there wasn't I thought

313
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,840
Speaker 1: it wasn't going to get more complicated, but fuck, oh

314
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,600
Speaker 1: Sam Sam Sam, Samy Sam Sam.

315
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,240
Speaker 2: I mean, we don't know what she's been doing for

316
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,760
Speaker 2: three years, so it's like that is true. Of course

317
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,960
Speaker 2: there's gonna be more shit. Why we should have known.

318
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,720
Speaker 1: She called me yesterday morning asking if we could meet

319
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,080
Speaker 1: up since she had something important to tell me. I

320
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,560
Speaker 1: was off and kiddo was at preschool, so I had

321
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,520
Speaker 1: an hour and a half to meet her sooner. After

322
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:01,120
Speaker 1: I got there, she asked me about our girl and

323
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,600
Speaker 1: I told her that she was doing well. Moments later,

324
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,080
Speaker 1: she broke down and told me that she wanted to

325
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,800
Speaker 1: tell me why she decided to reach out so they

326
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:12,760
Speaker 1: weren't any more secrets between us. She admitted that she

327
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,360
Speaker 1: had been seeing a guy I don't know his name,

328
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,120
Speaker 1: so we'll call him Luke for about eighteen months. I

329
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,840
Speaker 1: was initially pissed off at the thought of her dating

330
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:23,520
Speaker 1: while I was raising our girl alone, but she was

331
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,560
Speaker 1: in tears, so I held back. She admitted that Luke

332
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,640
Speaker 1: had taken her to his nephew's christening and she had

333
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,120
Speaker 1: a total breakdown at the sight of a baby and

334
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,320
Speaker 1: the thought of our daughter. She apparently got really drunk

335
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,920
Speaker 1: and broke down in tears before admitting to Luke that

336
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,680
Speaker 1: she had a child that she had basically abandoned.

337
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:44,280
Speaker 2: Fuck, that's a big one. That's a big one to

338
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:45,840
Speaker 2: drop on a new boyfriend.

339
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,640
Speaker 1: Apparently, she tried to distance herself from Luke after that,

340
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,640
Speaker 1: because he stuck with her and his love and support

341
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,520
Speaker 1: inspired her to see a therapist and reach out to me.

342
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,360
Speaker 1: So trying to distance herself from Luke.

343
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:02,480
Speaker 2: Basically it seems like Luke was helping her get back

344
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,199
Speaker 2: to this family. He's like such a nazy guy that

345
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,879
Speaker 2: he's like, I don't care about our relationship. I care

346
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,480
Speaker 2: about what's best for you and your kid.

347
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,280
Speaker 1: And is she now kind of now distancing herself away

348
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,399
Speaker 1: from Luke because she wants to be back with this

349
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:18,080
Speaker 1: family now, Yeah, I think it's cycle repeating.

350
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:23,359
Speaker 2: Luca is, Luca is the Luca is the new boyfriend. Yeah,

351
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:24,160
Speaker 2: the new boyfriend.

352
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,800
Speaker 1: So apparently she tried to distance herself from Luke.

353
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, because he is helping her get with the new

354
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,880
Speaker 2: family her old family, right.

355
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:36,920
Speaker 1: Sorry, yeah apparently, yeah, maybe let me. Apparently she tried

356
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,119
Speaker 1: to distance herself from Luke after that, but he stuck

357
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,560
Speaker 1: with her, and his love and support inspired her to

358
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,320
Speaker 1: see a therapist and reach out to me, I would

359
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,680
Speaker 1: have run a mile if I was in his shoes.

360
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,080
Speaker 1: So he has my respect for helping her through that

361
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:54,359
Speaker 1: difficult time. Yeah, that's tough one. That's a tough one.

362
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,760
Speaker 2: If there's such thing as a very neon red flag

363
00:17:58,880 --> 00:17:59,720
Speaker 2: that that might be.

364
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,960
Speaker 1: Yep, I told her. I was glad she told me,

365
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 1: and happy that she has someone that is so devoted

366
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,200
Speaker 1: before I left to collect kiddo. But now that it's

367
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,879
Speaker 1: fully sunk in, I can't wrap my head around it.

368
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,760
Speaker 1: How could she have gone off and dated someone else? Well,

369
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,680
Speaker 1: I was left with our child. I've started to have

370
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 1: second thoughts about her second chance. But since I'm not

371
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,840
Speaker 1: going to my therapist for another week, I thought i'd

372
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,800
Speaker 1: share it here to hopefully get some advice, because while

373
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,159
Speaker 1: I would like my daughter to know her mother in

374
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,240
Speaker 1: some capacity anyways, I can't overlook the fact that she

375
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:34,119
Speaker 1: was dating someone else while I was raising our daughter

376
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:38,840
Speaker 1: by myself and more importantly, raising by himself because of

377
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,400
Speaker 1: the abandonment, not just because she left the race relationship

378
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:46,280
Speaker 1: and which already would have been tough, you know, but eoincs.

379
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,200
Speaker 1: There's some comments OPI's X doesn't seem remotely stable enough

380
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,040
Speaker 1: to seriously consider a second chance.

381
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I and that's what the therapist said,

382
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:55,960
Speaker 2: So I think that makes sense.

383
00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:59,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, at least right now, this kids are for the

384
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,880
Speaker 1: law and this woman cannot be trusted or dependent upon.

385
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,440
Speaker 1: A judge would say what is best for the child.

386
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,119
Speaker 1: Having this woman, who sounds like she still has a

387
00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 1: lot of issues to work through, reappear into child's life

388
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:15,000
Speaker 1: and likely disappear again would not be it. In another comment,

389
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,760
Speaker 1: op is very compassionate person who is clearly doing all

390
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,280
Speaker 1: he can to put his daughter first. I just worry

391
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,320
Speaker 1: that his good intentions may not get reciprocated. And as

392
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 1: the parent who has been raising the child, his mental

393
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,960
Speaker 1: well being is still very important to hers.

394
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:30,480
Speaker 2: Yeah that's a good point.

395
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,720
Speaker 1: Very good point. I hope he doesn't wind up worse

396
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,040
Speaker 1: after this whole situation with his ex.

397
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,280
Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, I think, Like I mean, the big thing is,

398
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:41,520
Speaker 2: I don't think she's stable enough yet. She hasn't proved

399
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 2: it the I don't know if the admission of the

400
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:48,119
Speaker 2: having a boyfriend would change anything in terms of like

401
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,040
Speaker 2: the severity. Like I think, like she's gone for three years,

402
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 2: I'm already thinking she has a new life and like

403
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 2: the boyfriend thing, Like I'm like, okay, yeah, I probably

404
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,200
Speaker 2: already assume that, so that doesn't really change anything for

405
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:07,679
Speaker 2: me from the initial just like I am appalled that

406
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 2: you would just abandon us for three years. I think,

407
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 2: for sure, relationship off the table, but in terms of

408
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:23,439
Speaker 2: but in terms of like interacting with the kid, like

409
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:27,720
Speaker 2: I think if she continually proves that she is responsible,

410
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 2: then maybe introduced her.

411
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think also I could see it being a

412
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 1: case where this new information of like, okay, she she

413
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,680
Speaker 1: left and then dated this other person, maybe that reopened

414
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,680
Speaker 1: the old wound even you know.

415
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 2: Not more you're saying, but now he.

416
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:50,040
Speaker 1: Has to read he's reimagining the experience in a new light.

417
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,440
Speaker 2: Exactly. It's like he's a little bit more twisted. It

418
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 2: hurts that much more. That's a good point.

419
00:20:56,040 --> 00:21:00,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, so but my god, well, one thing is true.

420
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,119
Speaker 1: It's what that commenter said. Op really does seem to

421
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,880
Speaker 1: be trying to super empathy for his car.

422
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:11,439
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, I'm glad that you didn't give up

423
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 2: your daughter, and I know it seems like you're the

424
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,640
Speaker 2: best person to take care of her. But I would

425
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 2: love to know what you think OP should do. Should

426
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:22,639
Speaker 2: he even give his ex girlfriend a chance to be

427
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 2: in the daughter's life. I would love to know put

428
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 2: your answers in the comments, and also any parents out

429
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:33,879
Speaker 2: there with crazy stories like this or anything you've heard,

430
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,239
Speaker 2: or just crazy stories in general, you should call us

431
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 2: at four four zero five zero eight six five six seven.

432
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,399
Speaker 2: We would love to hear your stories. And with that,

433
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 2: I think, John, we should get into this next one.

434
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 1: Let's do it.

435
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,880
Speaker 2: My boyfriend gave me the worst gift, so I think

436
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 2: I have to break up with him.

437
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 1: The question is what was the gift.

438
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 2: I guess we'll find out. So I'm going to write

439
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:58,120
Speaker 2: a fair bit of backstory because I think it's relevant,

440
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,440
Speaker 2: but I'll put a TLDR at the bottom. I met

441
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 2: my boyfriend on Tinder in the beginning of my freshman

442
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 2: year of college. I was a very naive eighteen year old.

443
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,679
Speaker 2: I've been on dates, but I'd never been in a relationship,

444
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 2: and I hadn't even had my first kiss yet. Oh man,

445
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 2: what you doing on those dates? What are people doing

446
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,439
Speaker 2: on those dates besides kids? Kissing? Bro? What I was

447
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 2: doing on my dates shaking hands? Shaking hands, make them

448
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 2: business deals?

449
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:24,360
Speaker 1: Good work, Johnson.

450
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 2: I was pretty miserable my first couple of weeks after moving,

451
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 2: and so I got tender and there I matched with

452
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,200
Speaker 2: a bunch of guys who went to my school. One

453
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:33,920
Speaker 2: of them I thought was pretty attractive. He was a

454
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 2: junior and a brother in a good but notorious frat.

455
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 2: Notorious those are the ones we got to watch out for. Yeah,

456
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,719
Speaker 2: he told me to come to his frats party, So

457
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,399
Speaker 2: I went with some girls i'd met at orientation. There

458
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 2: he took me upstairs and we made out. Oh yeah, dang, wait,

459
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 2: no we got it. We can't say oh yeah, We

460
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,119
Speaker 2: can't say oh yeah, yeah, stop for that. There, he

461
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 2: took me upstairs and we made out, but I think

462
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 2: he could tell I was very inexperienced, so nothing happened,

463
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 2: which I guess is good on his part. Yeah, I

464
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 2: pretty much fell in love with him, even though we

465
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 2: said about three words to each other. I didn't see

466
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 2: him until a couple of weeks later, when he invited

467
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 2: me to a party he was throwing. I was expecting

468
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,120
Speaker 2: us to at least hook up, but when he got there,

469
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 2: he was clearly with another girl, and there were tons

470
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 2: of other random girls who I assume he was also

471
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 2: hooking up with.

472
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 1: Oo tough a lot of people. That's such step. I'm sorry, yikes.

473
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 2: I was naive but not an idiot, so I forced

474
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 2: myself to get over it, and I didn't see him

475
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 2: until my spring semester, when I drank too much and

476
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,679
Speaker 2: he ended up at my dorm and I lost my

477
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 2: virginity to him. Dang. I don't know how OP internalized this,

478
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 2: but it doesn't seem like I don't know. I didn't

479
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 2: see him again until fall semester of my sophomore year.

480
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 2: We hooked up the first week we were back on campus.

481
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 2: I still catch feelings again, though, until we started hook

482
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 2: up regularly every week. Okay, so I don't think anything.

483
00:23:58,119 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 2: I don't think it was anything bad. I think she

484
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,199
Speaker 2: just were probably just both drunk and then blah blah blah.

485
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 2: But college romance, I guess.

486
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:06,679
Speaker 1: Oh God.

487
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 2: At that point, I was again pretty much in love

488
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 2: with him, although this time I didn't have reasons beyond

489
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 2: him being a large, attractive, popular man. We weren't dating,

490
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,440
Speaker 2: but we got to know each other and I saw

491
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 2: his many virtues. However, it was still clear to me

492
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,879
Speaker 2: that he wasn't into me in that way, and that

493
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 2: I was one of a number of women he was

494
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 2: sleeping with, so I didn't say anything and I kept

495
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:29,360
Speaker 2: it casual.

496
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 1: Yikesh.

497
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 2: He also had a terrible reputation as a fuck boy,

498
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 2: even amongst his frat brothers, which is saying something. If

499
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 2: your frat brothers are calling you an f boy, then

500
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:42,920
Speaker 2: you're a supreme fuck boy.

501
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,439
Speaker 1: Doubly bad his Instagram.

502
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:49,920
Speaker 2: His Instagram comments were usually filled with sayings like horniest

503
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 2: man alive and all twenty five hundred of his followers

504
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 2: aren't his girlfriends. His ig was Samuel Daughter who put

505
00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 2: that in?

506
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: Oh?

507
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 2: Oh, is that just kidding? Who put that in?

508
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,640
Speaker 1: It was Riley. I was wondering the same thing.

509
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Riley, he got us. He's getting us

510
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 2: even when he's not here. Ah, big boy upstairs. Riley's alive.

511
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 2: He graduated. Also, that was Riley playing a prank on us,

512
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:26,040
Speaker 2: to be clear, or at least on me. He graduated

513
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 2: at the end of that spring semester and we saw

514
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 2: each other one last time before. It was incredibly intimate

515
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 2: and really cemented everything I felt for him. So after

516
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 2: we both left campus, I confessed to him that I

517
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 2: really liked him and that I wasn't okay with just

518
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 2: hooking up with him anymore for my own sanity. Miraculously,

519
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 2: he said he also had feelings for me, and he

520
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 2: asked me out on a real date. We started dating

521
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 2: and have been together since, and the whole time has

522
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 2: been happy and healthy for us. Do this literally sounds

523
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:53,919
Speaker 2: like one of my friends that was in a frat

524
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 2: was like hooking up with this girl for like like

525
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:59,440
Speaker 2: a bunch of different girls for months, and then he's like, oh,

526
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 2: I just want to keep a casual, and I just

527
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 2: want to keep a casual, and then she said basically

528
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:07,679
Speaker 2: that same thing to him, and now they're basically married.

529
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:08,640
Speaker 2: So it happens.

530
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:09,400
Speaker 1: There.

531
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 2: You go, can tame the frat boys, but it is hard.

532
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 2: Last Thursday was our one year anniversary of becoming official.

533
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:22,360
Speaker 2: He got me an incredibly thoughtful gift basket, including some jewelry,

534
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 2: a painting, and a card. In the card, though, was

535
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 2: a printed picture of a pros and cons list on

536
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 2: a whiteboard. He explained to me that he saw my

537
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,119
Speaker 2: confessional message when he was hanging out with his brother.

538
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 2: My boyfriend said he really didn't know what he wanted

539
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,679
Speaker 2: to do, and he wasn't sure if he wanted anything

540
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 2: with me anymore, but he was tired of sleeping around

541
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 2: and wanted a stable relationship, so his brother said he

542
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 2: should make a pros cons list of me, and he did.

543
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:50,119
Speaker 1: No.

544
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 2: Here's a paraphrase of the list. Prose Cute, great ass,

545
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 2: good in bed, horny, likes me a lot, sweet, lots

546
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 2: of friends, doesn't go out too much, close to her family,

547
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,160
Speaker 2: really smart and academically successful, good future ahead of her,

548
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 2: and definitely not a gold digger. Would do wifey duties.

549
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:13,879
Speaker 2: Cons kind of a slute met on tinder, frat rat,

550
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 2: blacks out a lot, doesn't care a lot about her appearance.

551
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 2: Kind of nerdy. Wow, Okay, one fucked up to fucking

552
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,359
Speaker 2: make this in the first place. Yes, but why would

553
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 2: you give it to her as a presid Dude?

554
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 1: Burn that shit, Burn that shit, dude, Way for it,

555
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:38,880
Speaker 1: Way for it, babe. I gave you the gift of honesty. Bro.

556
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 1: That is so bad.

557
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 2: That is so bad.

558
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 1: Wow.

559
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm a speechless to be fair, though, Like,

560
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,679
Speaker 2: I mean, I didn't do something this bad, but I

561
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 2: remember an ex girlfriend like did like like like basically

562
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,440
Speaker 2: planned this whole like really really nice day for us,

563
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,479
Speaker 2: and it was great. There's more to the story by

564
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,600
Speaker 2: the way, but it was great. It was beautiful and

565
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 2: then like she ran a bath and I like and

566
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,440
Speaker 2: like she was looking at me and I was looking

567
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,479
Speaker 2: at her and she's like, I love you and I

568
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 2: was like, I don't really feel that right now, and

569
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,199
Speaker 2: she did not like that.

570
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:24,919
Speaker 1: Are you sure? Oh god? Oh man, that's that's tough.

571
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,880
Speaker 2: But I wouldn't make a pros cons list on if

572
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 2: I love you or not. No, I ended up. I also,

573
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 2: to be clear, I ended up saying it to her

574
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 2: and we dated for a while. But yeah, you know,

575
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 2: not the smoothest that is. So based off of that,

576
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,959
Speaker 2: he apparently decided to ask me out to dinner and

577
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 2: then decide what to do based on how it went.

578
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 2: And it went well enough that we started dating. He

579
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 2: showed it to me with nothing but good intentions, but

580
00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 2: I was absolutely floored for obvious reasons. I've been pretending

581
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 2: to be sick since then as I figure out what

582
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:06,720
Speaker 2: to do. This is the most bone headed move ever got.

583
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 2: On the one hand, he is my dream man and

584
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 2: I am so glad to be with him. He's been

585
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 2: nothing but incredible to me and we have a great relationship.

586
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 2: And logically I know that he wasn't in love with

587
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 2: me or anything when he asked me out, as I'm

588
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,719
Speaker 2: sure he had some idea of how I felt, and

589
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,880
Speaker 2: he never did anything about it. But it still hurts

590
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 2: to think that his feelings towards me were so ambivalent

591
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 2: that he needed a goddamn pros and cons list just

592
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 2: to ask me out.

593
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 1: Babe, I'm a man of logic of lists.

594
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 2: The thing is, like, I also am a man of

595
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 2: logic and lists, and like, I don't think I've done

596
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 2: this for going on a date, but I've definitely done

597
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 2: it for breaking up with someone.

598
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 1: Yeah it does. Why is it? Like it makes more

599
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 1: sense than the context of a breakup but not in life,

600
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 1: but show it to them. Yeah, And also like the

601
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 1: things he was saying. Also, it was her first time

602
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 1: with him, like me, and he called her a salute.

603
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like maybe we're missing context. Yeah, it's still unacceptable.

604
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 2: Even still unacceptable, I think also like the cons and

605
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 2: even the pros like great ass and like kind of

606
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 2: a slug like that stuff is like so ridiculously freddy.

607
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 2: I don't know why she's into him, but maybe he's

608
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 2: a good guy. But maybe maybe he's a good guy.

609
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 2: After that, I don't know, but yeah, pretty pretty rough.

610
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 2: I can't really talk about this to anyone in my life,

611
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 2: as a lot of them already dislike him. Oh, huge

612
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 2: tread flagg, huge red flag.

613
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 1: You know what this is.

614
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 2: He's probably super hot and you got pretty glasses on,

615
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 2: You got pretty rose cluded glasses on. You know it's college. Yeah, dude,

616
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 2: it can't. When someone's hot, you forget the bad parts

617
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 2: of their personality. So be careful, y'all be careful out then.

618
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 2: Oh man, I don't want to bias them anymore, So

619
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 2: I thought I would ask here, what can I possibly do?

620
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 2: I like to think I have more self respect than this,

621
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 2: but I really love him and don't want to cause

622
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 2: conflict in a relationship over something he definitely didn't think

623
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 2: would hurt me. And we went to the comments of

624
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 2: this first post, and boy, so someone asked if he

625
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 2: ever gave her like any other kind of terrible gifts.

626
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 2: He can definitely be an idiot at times. From his explanation,

627
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 2: it seemed that he wanted to show how far we've

628
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 2: come from just drunkenly hooking up to being in both

629
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 2: of our first serious relationships and planning for the long

630
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 2: term future and this was the only picture he had,

631
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 2: and also it showed how much we've both grown. He

632
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 2: also thought it was funny that he needed to make

633
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 2: a pros and cons list now that we're so committed

634
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 2: to each other. Also, I didn't mention his virtues because

635
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 2: it didn't seem to be irrelevant to the issue at hand.

636
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 2: But he legitimately has been a great boyfriend, and he

637
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:51,719
Speaker 2: is a great man in general. Then why do your

638
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 2: friends hate him?

639
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: Huh?

640
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 2: He's very supportive of everyone around him. He always compliments

641
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 2: me and buys me flowers and gifts, and he's never

642
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 2: hesitated to drop everything to help me out, even when

643
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 2: we were just hooking up. And he's been receptive to

644
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 2: any concerns about our past. He has never been bothered

645
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 2: by blocking or an adding or whatever. We also have

646
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,719
Speaker 2: similar values and goals and both of our paths are

647
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 2: aligning very closely. And thank you. You are right that

648
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 2: I need to at least talk to him, as I

649
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 2: didn't think he even realized that it bothered me, which

650
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 2: is true, like you should totally talk to him. Yeah,

651
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 2: And someone asked, why do your friends not like him?

652
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 1: Which is what I want to know.

653
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 2: My friends don't really like him, partially because they saw

654
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 2: me pine over him for a year, and also because

655
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 2: I kept our relationship secret when it started and they

656
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 2: were angry about that. They also think that he is

657
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 2: stupid and a fuck boy. Some of my friends outside

658
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 2: my main group also don't like him because his frat

659
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 2: had a really bad reputation. For what it's worth, though

660
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 2: my family is fine with him, I just don't really

661
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 2: speak to them about this kind of stuff. I mean,

662
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 2: and there is another update. Oh it's pretty juicy, But

663
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 2: what do you think? What do you think? John?

664
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not buying it. I just based off of

665
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 1: the context we have here. Obviously we do not have

666
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 1: all the information. But like I I I think this

667
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 1: is a college relationship. I think she's probably pretty enamored

668
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 1: and you know, maybe maybe he does do the things

669
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: that she mentioned there, but that doesn't mean that he's

670
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: doing other bs outside of that that makes the relationship

671
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 1: not worth of like doing something like sending this list. Yeah.

672
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 2: The other thing though, is like how do you feel

673
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 2: in this relationship? Generally? Do you feel good or do

674
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 2: you feel bad? You know, like, is this a like

675
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 2: is this a relationship that you just like? Is this

676
00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 2: like a crazy out of the blue, out of left,

677
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 2: like like out of you know, pocket thing where because

678
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 2: like I'm seeing, like in this list a lot of

679
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 2: like you know, misogyny and and like shallowness, and so

680
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,480
Speaker 2: maybe that's a product of what your relationship or who

681
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 2: he was before. But like, like, really ask yourself, have

682
00:33:56,560 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 2: any of these qualities that he's exhibited in this Durable

683
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 2: Anniversary letter have they shown up in the like the relationship, Like,

684
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 2: really ask yourself that. But if you do feel good

685
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 2: in the relationship, maybe you know, maybe it's something you

686
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 2: can look over. But let's get into the update.

687
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 1: Let's do it.

688
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,840
Speaker 2: First off, I wanted to clear up a couple of things. One, No,

689
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 2: he isn't the only man I've ever been with. I

690
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 2: did lose my I did lose my virginity to him,

691
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 2: but I've been with plenty of men other than him

692
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 2: after that. Two, he didn't ask amy the first time

693
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:28,839
Speaker 2: we slept together. I was drunk but not blocked out,

694
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 2: and I'm the one who told him to come over.

695
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:33,279
Speaker 2: I consented and I enjoyed it and continued talking to

696
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 2: him afterwards. Three No, I don't have sdds. I get

697
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,759
Speaker 2: regularly tested, and he's never given me anything, even though

698
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 2: we often didn't use protection when we were hooking up,

699
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 2: including the first time. Now for the actual updates, everyone's

700
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 2: comments were a real wake up call. I did already realize,

701
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 2: at least somewhat that the entire time we'd known each

702
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 2: other before we were dating, he had treated me like crap,

703
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 2: but I justified being with him by saying that he'd

704
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:01,239
Speaker 2: changed because i'd won him. The pros and cons list

705
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 2: made me realize just how little he thought of me,

706
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 2: and giving it to me made me think that he

707
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 2: still felt the same way towards me. It also made

708
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,000
Speaker 2: me realize that in his mind, he was settling for me,

709
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 2: and that he probably only really liked me for the

710
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,520
Speaker 2: things I did for him. I also realized that although

711
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 2: that was fine for a little, he is really hot.

712
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 2: To be honest, fucking called it big.

713
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 1: Sammy with the correct guesses. Baby.

714
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 2: I definitely didn't want to have kids or spend the

715
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 2: rest of my life with a man who didn't actually

716
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 2: like or respect me. I also did make my own list,

717
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 2: as some comments said, which made me realize how much

718
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,640
Speaker 2: I was willing to overlook for an attractive man. I

719
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 2: would never give it to him because even though a

720
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,919
Speaker 2: lot of people seem to think I don't really love him,

721
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,880
Speaker 2: I do care about him a lot for some reason

722
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 2: and would never do anything to hurt him. But here

723
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:53,160
Speaker 2: is a list pros six', two, big, attractive, popular good

724
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 2: job and makes lots of, money close to, family can be,

725
00:35:55,960 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 2: sweet pays for, things. Submissive yeah, YES npc has no

726
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 2: hobbies or, interests drinks a, lot clearly doesn't respect, me

727
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:09,719
Speaker 2: kind of, stupid not, interesting hardly an, intellectual not well,

728
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 2: read don't have a lot to talk about. Together friends

729
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:18,800
Speaker 2: don't like, him not good in bed ooh. Oohoo big, yikes,

730
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 2: dude big. Yikes my list made me realize that not

731
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,359
Speaker 2: only does he kind of have nothing going for, him

732
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:27,400
Speaker 2: but being with him also reflects pretty terribly on myself

733
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 2: and my. Values i'm not really ashamed of myself BECAUSE

734
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:31,840
Speaker 2: i met him WHEN i was, eighteen BUT i HOPE

735
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 2: i will not be this shallow of a person for

736
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 2: my whole. Life SO i broke up with him this

737
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 2: morning over. Coffee he wasn't really upset and was just

738
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 2: kind of, like, damn, okay, Girl.

739
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: Damn i'm gonna miss him.

740
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 2: Cheeks he did, check he did try to convince me to,

741
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 2: stay BUT i was firm and we are officially broken.

742
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 2: UP i blocked him on everything BECAUSE i have no

743
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 2: self respect when it comes to, him AND i have

744
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 2: no doubt he would try to booty call me soon

745
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 2: IF i.

746
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 1: Didn't my friends.

747
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,719
Speaker 2: Are all actually thrilled and are hosting a party for

748
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 2: me to. Night my family was also pretty. Relieved they

749
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:05,280
Speaker 2: didn't hate, him but they thought he was really, stupid

750
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 2: AND i think they're HAPPY i won't be polluting the

751
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,840
Speaker 2: family lineage with idiocy on that. Level so thank you

752
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 2: everyone for the wake up. CALL i GUESS i will

753
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,439
Speaker 2: see how adult life without him.

754
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: Goes oh, hey, ope, Wow.

755
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 2: I'm glad that she came to her senses BECAUSE i,

756
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,760
Speaker 2: dude a lot people will overlook a lot if someone's.

757
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 1: HOT i, yeah now that you're saying, it LIKE i knew,

758
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 1: that but like, Really i'm really really seeing that. Now.

759
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 2: WOW i once flew a girl To North carolina because

760
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 2: she was super. Hot she didn't ask me one question about.

761
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 2: MYSELF i, remember you know what she was documented she was,

762
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 2: hot oh, man and we did have a good. Time that's.

763
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 2: True you, know she modeled For kanye In. Paris really that's.

764
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 1: Crazy.

765
00:37:55,360 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 2: Wow, Anyway, anyway, WELL i guess the thing to learn

766
00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,719
Speaker 2: from this one is don't focus on someone's hotness so

767
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:08,959
Speaker 2: much that you miss out on all the terrible things

768
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:13,440
Speaker 2: that they do and are that's? True or fly To

769
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 2: North carolina or fly At North, carolina take a. Risk,

770
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 2: anyway it's been lovely spending this time with. YOU i

771
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 2: hope you've enjoyed it. Too and with, that you know

772
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 2: you should call us because you can tell us our

773
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:30,439
Speaker 2: because you can tell us your crazy relationship. Stories call

774
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 2: four four, zero five zero eight six five sixty seven

775
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: and tell us your crazy.

776
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 1: Stories look forward to hearing. Them see you the next.

777
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:38,399
Speaker 1: One see you, soon