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Speaker 1: When you when your gold medals? Are you able to

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Speaker 1: celebrate yourself? I just heard you already grown. Are you

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Speaker 1: able to celebrate yourself or do you go through something similar?

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Speaker 1: It's hard because, like you know, I think once I

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Speaker 1: win one, I had to be able to like in

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Speaker 1: one year out the other, right, because there was six

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Speaker 1: or seven more that I was trying to swim or

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Speaker 1: win that week. Um, at the end of the week,

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Speaker 1: it's hard to sit still because I'm on a whirlwind tour,

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Speaker 1: right like that first like week, two weeks, you're jumping

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Speaker 1: all over the place doing different shows. But I think

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Speaker 1: after that, it's kind of like what's next? Who am I?

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Speaker 1: What's my identity? And I think that's the scary part,

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Speaker 1: right because I think you you work so hard for

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Speaker 1: you know, for me anyway, I feel like I worked

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Speaker 1: so hard to get to that point and at the

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Speaker 1: snap of your fingers, it's gone, it's done, it's finished,

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Speaker 1: it's not gone. You did it. Yeah. But the problem,

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Speaker 1: that's the problems we have, right It's like I guess, like,

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Speaker 1: but I I never I never sat in celebrated like

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Speaker 1: I I never I guess I never could. I remember,

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Speaker 1: I'll never forget you know when I won my first

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Speaker 1: one back in two thousand and four, the very first

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Speaker 1: day of the Olympics. So four and I am. I

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Speaker 1: went four oh eight and I win and I you know,

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Speaker 1: have the medal, share it with my mom through a

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Speaker 1: chain link fence and she's like, oh, yeah, that's so awesome.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, we did it. And my coach is like, hey,

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Speaker 1: we gotta warm down. Time we got another race tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh great, Like cool, I like, shove it

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Speaker 1: my bag, alright, cool, time time to go to the

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Speaker 1: next one. Like that's basically what it was my career.

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Speaker 1: I would say I've gotten through two thousand and eight.

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Speaker 1: I've been able to process everything to that point. Two

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Speaker 1: thousand and twelve for me, is one of the most

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Speaker 1: challenging Olympics of my life because I wasn't happy with

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Speaker 1: the results, but again, I got the results that I deserved.

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Speaker 1: So it's it's hard for me to watch those races

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Speaker 1: because I literally was off by that. But then again,

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Speaker 1: if I don't do that, then I don't come back

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Speaker 1: for sixteen. So it's just trying to process all of

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Speaker 1: that stuff. But yeah, it's it's I've never been able

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Speaker 1: to celebrate, but like to this day, have you been

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Speaker 1: have you since been? I want to sit back and go,

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Speaker 1: oh man, what do you mean? No, dude, you need to.

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Speaker 1: You need to. You deserve to more than anything. You

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Speaker 1: deserve to. You put that work in, you spilt that sweat,

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Speaker 1: you deserve to. That's something you gotta work on. Is

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Speaker 1: being able to love yourself up. Something that again exactly

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Speaker 1: the same thing I was talking about with like, we

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Speaker 1: deserve to love ourselves up. We do something that is great. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm not saying I'm not proud, I'm not happy

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Speaker 1: with the accomplishments, but I mean I feel like like also,

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Speaker 1: like I'm somebody who is so detail oriented, so it's

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Speaker 1: hard for me to sit and try to really process

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Speaker 1: every single moment in memory, like I want to