WEBVTT - How I Overcame Imposter Syndrome 0:00:12.920 --> 0:00:15.680 What up, y'all? Hello, Hello, I hope you're having a 0:00:15.720 --> 0:00:18.520 beautiful day. Welcome to Cheeky's and Chill. I have a 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:21.040 question for you. Have you gotten an opportunity or a 0:00:21.040 --> 0:00:24.680 new job, or a promotion, or gotten accepted to an 0:00:24.680 --> 0:00:27.760 elite university and felt like you weren't capable enough or 0:00:27.800 --> 0:00:31.000 talented enough to be there. Have you ever doubted yourself 0:00:31.120 --> 0:00:35.040 in those situations? I know I have, and I'm sure 0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:37.080 you have too. There's a chance you may have even 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:40.559 experienced something called imposter syndrome. And that's what we're going 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:43.600 to talk about on today's episode, because I think it's 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:46.800 something a lot of people can relate to. According to WebMD, 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:49.639 imposter syndrome is when you feel like you're not as 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:52.640 talented or capable as others think you are, and you 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:55.360 become scared that others will find out. So we're going 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:57.080 to talk about it, and I'm going to give you 0:00:57.160 --> 0:01:03.600 some examples, guys, because I definitely have dealt with imposter syndrome, 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:07.760 especially in the earlier years of my career, maybe even 0:01:07.800 --> 0:01:11.160 when I started business, because being an entrepreneur was like 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:14.479 my first love. I started a lot of businesses for 0:01:14.520 --> 0:01:17.720 my mom and with my mom, and I would always think, 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:20.880 why I just have high school education. It's all. I 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:22.880 have a high school diploma. I didn't go to college. 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:25.280 I didn't go to college to get like a business 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:29.120 degree or whatnot. And I felt like, shit, can I 0:01:29.160 --> 0:01:31.520 do this? And I didn't want to let my mom down. 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:34.280 I didn't want to let myself down. I had to 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:38.360 tell myself over and over, especially with my mom when 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:40.160 we started the perfume and everything, and I went to 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:43.360 China and like the whole thing. It was so nerve wracking. 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:45.760 But I knew that I would do it more, not 0:01:45.840 --> 0:01:49.320 even for obviously myself, but more to just prove to her, 0:01:49.480 --> 0:01:52.520 to make her proud. And that's also not a good thing. 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:55.960 I learned that later on in my life. But I 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:57.680 really did think, I'm like, I don't know if I 0:01:57.680 --> 0:01:59.720 can do this, that people are going to be like, Okay, 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:03.520 well what experience do you have to go and start 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:05.680 this business and the skincare line for your mom and 0:02:05.680 --> 0:02:07.440 this makeup line. And I just knew I love the 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:11.000 beauty industry since I was young. But thank god, I 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:15.120 learned as I went and I would always buy those books. 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:19.960 I'd go to Barnes and Noble and read the dummy books, 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:22.800 the you know, business for dummies for instance. I'm like, well, 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:24.640 I didn't go to college. I'm learning this as I go, 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:26.160 and my mom would always tell me figure it out. 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:30.440 I figured out everything, how to deposit a check, how 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:34.720 to just everything, and that's where I think it started. Now, 0:02:34.800 --> 0:02:36.640 let's talk and fast forward to my career. When I 0:02:36.639 --> 0:02:42.120 started my career in twenty fourteen, Oh my gosh, not 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:44.280 only did the world hate me, or it felt like 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:47.639 the world hated me half of twenty twelve and all 0:02:47.680 --> 0:02:50.840 of twenty thirteen. After my mom passed away, I just 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:52.520 knew I had to do something. I was like, I 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:54.640 want to sing. I know, I've wanted to sing for 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:57.200 a long time, something that I've wanted to do, and 0:02:57.240 --> 0:02:59.480 I don't like to live again with the like what if. 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:01.000 So I was like, I have to do this and 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:06.919 I need to work. But imagine the world is against you. 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:10.040 You're against yourself in some ways because you're upset at 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:12.240 the world that it's like, oh my god, everything is 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:15.040 going wrong and people are talking shit, and like I 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:17.000 want to clear my name, and like I was like, 0:03:17.080 --> 0:03:18.800 I'm going to do everything I have to do to 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:20.720 clear my name. So that's when we wrote the book, 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:23.119 beredon Forgiveness. If you haven't read it, go read. It's 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:25.480 my whole life story kind of. But anyways, then I 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:28.119 was like, Okay, I need to work. I need to work. 0:03:28.120 --> 0:03:30.880 I need to be example for my siblings. But I 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:33.919 had never really sang maybe three times in my whole 0:03:33.960 --> 0:03:36.840 life in front of like a crowd. And not only that, 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:39.160 but I knew, like in the back of my mind, 0:03:39.680 --> 0:03:41.160 I knew that I was going to be compared to 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:45.400 my mom and that I don't know, and so many 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:47.880 opportunities opened up for me, I think in the beginning, 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:51.520 because of course I was I am Jenny Rivera's daughter, 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:54.560 and you know, people wanted to see what I could do. 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:56.600 But there was a lot of criticism. I can look 0:03:56.640 --> 0:03:59.080 back and say, Okay, I wasn't ready, but I know 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:01.160 I had something. I knew I knew about music, and 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:03.480 I knew that I wanted to create it and I 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:05.880 had it in me. I just feel like a lot 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:09.360 of the negative comments really just suppressed me. But even 0:04:09.400 --> 0:04:12.560 before that happened, this is where imposter syndrome comes in, 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:15.000 where you think, oh, I'm not going to be as 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:18.159 good as that person, or damn what if they find 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:20.520 out like I really don't know anything. Like you start 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:23.320 thinking all of these things and it stops you in 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:25.960 your tracks and it paralyzes your growth. And I had 0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:28.600 all of that. You can move past it, because obviously 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:30.480 I did. I was like, if this, I'm going to 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:32.760 do it. I'm going to try it. I guess you 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:35.279 could say I faked it till I made it. I 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:37.000 don't really like that quote too much because I'm like, oh, 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:38.880 I don't like, you know, I'm not about that fig shit. 0:04:38.960 --> 0:04:41.560 But when I really think about it, I guess I 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:44.240 had to. I guess I did because I was like, well, 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:46.240 I know what I'm doing. And not only that, it 0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:49.640 doesn't help when people talk so much crap, and you know, 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:52.520 like you read these things and then you start thinking 0:04:52.560 --> 0:04:55.919 them and you start criticizing yourself, and it really does. 0:04:56.640 --> 0:05:00.080 It suppresses you. It suppresses you, and if you so 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:04.760 allow that to happen more and more, you won't be 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:08.240 able to reach your potential, your full potential. I think 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:11.080 we can all definitely relate in one way or another, 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:14.880 but I think it does have to do with building 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:18.520 confidence and confidence in your craft, confidence in your artistry, 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:22.120 whatever it may be. And in your career, knowledge is power. 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:26.400 And I think the more I fed myself with knowledge, 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:31.359 with performing more, with doing more in that space, I 0:05:31.400 --> 0:05:34.680 gain more confidence. Until like two years ago, guys where 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:37.120 I was like f this Perril Milo, I keep saying 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:39.239 that in all of my interviews, like I lost fear. 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:41.200 I lost fear. I really lost the fear of I 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:43.839 don't care what people say. I know who I am. 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:48.120 I like myself. I stop wanting for everyone to like me. 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:50.719 I was like, Okay, it's fine. I love that people 0:05:50.800 --> 0:05:52.520 like me, and it's okay if people don't like me, 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:56.039 it's part of it. And I think I just started 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.640 wanting to grow in my craft and take my classes 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:02.839 and wanting to get better that I gain this confidence 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:05.880 that I'm like, no matter what, I know that I'm 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:07.360 meant to do this. I know that I'm meant to 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:11.039 be here, so f the haters, I'm gonna do my 0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:12.960 thing and I'm going to get better at it. And 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:15.200 that's where I think it's like, not even like confidence. 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:17.599 From the outside looking in, I look like a pretty 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:20.520 confident person, especially when I I had no other choice. 0:06:20.520 --> 0:06:22.480 I was like, I gotta fucking do this. But then 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:28.040 when I really started healing and feeding the internal side 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:31.880 of my confidence and really like learning more and more 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:34.560 about what I was doing, I felt more confident and 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:37.800 I walked more confident into rooms, and not only with 0:06:37.839 --> 0:06:40.320 my career, like as far as singing, but also in business. 0:06:40.960 --> 0:06:44.480 You know, it's like knowing what you're talking about, like 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:47.640 really just diving into it. It just gives you a 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:50.320 different type of confidence. So even if people are talking shit, 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:53.760 it doesn't even phase you because you're like, I know 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.240 what I'm talking about, I know what I'm doing, like 0:06:56.360 --> 0:06:59.320 it just it changes everything. So definitely, I do think 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:03.240 that the imposter syndrome starts with feeling insecure. It's our insecurities. 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:06.320 We all have them, especially because we're always so worried 0:07:06.360 --> 0:07:08.240 about what are people going to think? What are they 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:10.520 going to say? And I think once we start just 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:13.480 healing that and like not really giving an f it 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:20.040 changes everything for you. And that's from personal experience and 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:22.280 if I can be honest the way I'm always honest 0:07:22.320 --> 0:07:26.640 with you guys, I have said no to opportunities because 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:29.880 I felt like I wasn't good enough or I felt 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:32.120 like I didn't have it in me. I think the 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:38.720 first time that I was invited to host a red carpet, 0:07:38.880 --> 0:07:40.920 like actually like not only like walk the red carpet, 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:42.720 but I was going to host and interview other people. 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:45.280 Like I was like, oh, like this is like I 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:50.680 think in twenty fifteen, and I said no, and they 0:07:50.680 --> 0:07:52.240 were going to pay me for my time and they 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:53.520 were going to give me a budget. It was like 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:56.720 a very good opportunity. But I was like, oh my gosh, 0:07:56.720 --> 0:07:58.840 my Spanish isn't as good as I want it to be. 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:01.400 And I just was like, I really talked myself out 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:06.600 of it. And I don't necessarily regret that decision because 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:09.080 it gave me some time to really say, Okay, now 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:10.680 I really want to do it, and I was able 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:12.760 to host like a whole freaking show. I was able 0:08:12.960 --> 0:08:16.520 to host PJS with two other people because I was like, 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:18.760 I gotta do this. I have to prove to myself 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:20.720 that I can do this. But I did and I 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:23.480 let that opportunity go. And it was like also a 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:27.800 financial dent because I said no, And it was because 0:08:27.840 --> 0:08:30.000 of fear. I was like, no, people are going to 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:32.880 talk crap and this and that, and I learned that 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:35.439 you don't have to say yes to every opportunity. It's 0:08:35.480 --> 0:08:38.920 not necessary and it's okay to say no. I think 0:08:38.960 --> 0:08:41.199 that's you know again, We've talked about it here on 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:44.520 the podcast, like the power of that small little word no. 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:48.560 But in that situation, I'm like, shit, Like I would 0:08:48.600 --> 0:08:51.800 have I think, advanced a little faster in my career 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:54.560 if I would have just given myself that opportunity and 0:08:55.320 --> 0:09:01.080 not let my insecurities stop me. You know, the way 0:09:01.080 --> 0:09:03.320 I got over it was just by doing it. I 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:07.720 kind of like merete, which means I challenged myself. I said, 0:09:07.720 --> 0:09:10.120 you know what, next time that opportunity comes, I'm going 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:11.600 to take it. So I put it out there, I 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:13.400 put it in the universe. I was like, I'm going 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:15.079 to do it, even if I'm scared. I'm going to 0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:19.200 face fear in the face and I'm going to do it. 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:21.280 I'm not going to back down. And all I have 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:23.040 to do is make sure I read my lines and 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:27.440 I practice and I put my right foot forward and 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:30.480 know that even if I stumble a little bit, it's okay. 0:09:30.600 --> 0:09:33.000 Everyone has done it. And it's kind of like yes, 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:37.079 giving myself a pep talk and really just allowing myself 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:40.440 to open that door, to not only open it, but 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:43.200 to walk through it. And I have found myself a 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:46.040 lot since then where I'm like, Okay, if this opportunity 0:09:46.040 --> 0:09:48.800 feels right to me, then I'm going to have peace 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:50.320 with it. If I don't have peace with it, then 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:51.560 it's to no. But if I have peace with it 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:53.439 and I'm going to say no just because out of fear, 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:58.199 then I'm doing myself a disservice. So it does take 0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:01.280 some pep talk. It does take things therapy. Therapy has 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:03.160 helped me a lot. My life. Coaching has helped me 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:06.680 so much. I started my life coaching in like twenty nineteen, 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:10.320 and I don't do it as much as I used to, 0:10:10.360 --> 0:10:12.600 but when I feel like I need a little tune up, 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:15.080 I definitely do it. I think it's it's for sure 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:16.640 a part of my life for the rest of my life. 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:18.800 My life coaching, it goes hand in hand with therapy. 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:21.760 But I do have to say I'm gonna do it 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:25.480 with fear. It's okay, Like we're not going to be 0:10:25.559 --> 0:10:27.760 perfect right off the bat or the first time we 0:10:27.800 --> 0:10:31.040 try it, and that is okay. Like I suffer from 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:33.240 wanting to be a perfectionist and I'm like, if I'm 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:34.800 gonna do it, I want to do it right. Yes, 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:37.440 but I also have to give myself grace to say, okay, 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:40.600 is my first time doing something. I'm gonna make some mistakes, 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:42.559 and it's okay to ask questions. For a long time, 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:44.000 I was like, I'm not asking questions. I'm not gonna 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:45.839 ask questions because it's gonna make me look dumb, like 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:47.440 I don't know what I'm talking about. Like now I 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:50.520 don't care. It could be anywhere, and I'll ask a 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:52.240 question like, oh, I'm so sorry, I don't understand that. 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:55.640 Can you repeat that? Like, It's okay to ask questions 0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:57.960 and to just be vulnerable enough to say I don't 0:10:57.960 --> 0:11:01.160 know everything. That's part of learning is asking questions and 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:05.280 wanting to grow in whatever it is that you're working towards. 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:08.200 Like you have to ask questions. I think when you 0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:09.559 get to the point in your life where you're like, 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:12.400 I know it all, I'm great, I this and that, like, 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:17.000 then you stop yourself from growing from like knowing more 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:19.840 because you feel like, oh, yellow setolo, I know it all. No, 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:23.120 we don't. There's always room to grow, there's always room 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:27.960 to improve, and being humble enough to accept that it 0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:31.439 really just opens up your horizons. So that's what I did. 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:33.640 I was like, next time this opportunity comes around, I'm 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:35.040 not saying no, I'm going to freaking do it because 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:36.160 I know this is what I want to do and 0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:39.800 I'm not gonna let fear stop me. And that's what 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:42.520 we did, you know, hey, And I feel like, honestly, 0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:45.880 I feel like this gets better. It definitely gets better 0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:52.400 with age. I think it's knowing who you are, where 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:57.920 you're going, what your intentions are in life, what change 0:11:57.920 --> 0:11:59.480 you want to make in life, how you want to 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:03.200 help others, Like it just all comes together and it's 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:07.439 part of maturing, a part of spiritually like maturing as well, 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:11.000 that like that imposter syndrome goes away, like it just 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:16.720 you don't care, Like you just become so like confident 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:19.560 in who you are that even if you make a 0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:23.520 mistake in what you do, you're fine because you love 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:26.840 who you are. And this is one thing that my 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.840 life coach told me, what I do is not who 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:32.920 I am, you know, It's like it's not Sometimes people 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:36.040 are like they have this like fake confidence, which probably 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:37.520 is what I had in the beginning of my career 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:41.280 where it's like you kind of like fluff yourself up, 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:44.120 but in reality, when you're in your room by yourself, 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:45.679 you're like shit, like did I do a good job? 0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:47.880 You start questioning yourself and you need people's approval and 0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:50.600 all this stuff. And like with age, I feel like 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:53.800 personally and I did the work, I don't care like 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:56.120 I do it out of love. Everything that I'm doing, 0:12:56.120 --> 0:12:57.400 I do it. I have love. I do it because 0:12:57.440 --> 0:13:00.000 I want to change people's lives. And I'm not perfect, 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:03.600 and I'm okay with making mistakes because I know that 0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:05.480 my intentions are in the right place. I know that 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:07.640 my heart is in the right place, and that just 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:10.400 changed everything for me, Like knowing my purpose, knowing like 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:14.120 what I want to leave in this world has really 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:17.439 really just changed the game for me. But it comes 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:23.240 with spiritual mental, physical maturity like experiences and also being 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:26.880 honest with yourself. I think being vulnerable with yourself with 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:29.520 others gives you a lot of power, a lot of strength, 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:31.720 a lot of confidence. You have to be able to 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:36.280 like remove like an onion, those layers of the fake funk, 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:39.320 you know what I mean of fluffed up confidence. It's 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:42.200 like really getting to the core of things that will 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:52.000 really help strengthen your insecurities to overcome them. And to 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:53.800 wrap up, guys, because I know this has been a 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:57.160 little lengthy, but hopefully some of this stuff, if not 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:01.120 all of it, has sunken and I've planted seed in 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:03.200 your heart and in your mind. I want to say 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:05.720 it took me a long time to be able to 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:09.000 say that I am proud of myself, that I'm proud 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:12.640 of what I'm doing, that I like myself very much, 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:16.720 that I love myself no matter what. It took a while, 0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:18.840 and it took a lot of work, but I don't 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:20.520 regret anything that has happened in my life. And that 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:22.360 might sound a little crazy because a lot of really 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:25.040 bad things have happened, but I feel like it all 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:29.040 has brought me to this point. And I usually don't 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:33.080 like to talk about the haters, you know, but it 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:35.640 is very much part of our life, and it's the truth, 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:39.120 and it's what's happening, especially with social media, and like 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:42.880 people just feel so confident to just talk crap. But 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:47.680 I've had to face a lot of people, a lot 0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:52.120 of people that I know for sure have said that 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:54.520 I wasn't going to make it that I did not 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:58.720 have the talent, even to the young cheekies as well. 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:01.239 I want to talk to her too. An ex boyfriend 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:05.000 that said, you're not gonna make it without me, I 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:08.480 was like, okay, and I'm not gonna lie. I kind 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:11.040 of thought when he said that, I was like, shit, 0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:13.600 what if I don't? And all I want to say 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:19.000 is thank you, even little cheeky's, even the ex boyfriend 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.560 and the people that have tat crap in the industry 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:25.240 that now I smile and just say hi to them. 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:28.480 It's happened so much. Guys, now they're nice to me. 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:31.760 Now they believe in me, and I'm grateful. I'm grateful, 0:15:32.680 --> 0:15:34.360 and I'm not the type of person to say I 0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:36.200 told you so, but I just want to say thank 0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:39.640 you because it helped me work harder. I made myself 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:42.440 work harder when I was thinking those negative things and 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:45.640 letting those toxic voices sink into my heart and into 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:48.320 my soul and into my mind. I didn't let that 0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:51.760 stop me, and I kept going and here we are now, 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:54.120 and I can honestly say that I am so proud 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:56.160 of what we've been able to accomplish. And I wouldn't 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:58.400 be able to do without my team. I can't say 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:01.360 that everything that I've acomplish it is because of me. Yes, 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:04.080 I have my talents, I do my job, I work hard, 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:06.760 but I do have an amazing team that has helped 0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:09.080 me and supported me, and I'm grateful. I just want 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:11.240 to say thank you because instead of us being mad 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:13.280 and talking shit to those people that have talked shit 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:15.480 about us or to us, or have said negative things 0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:18.320 and sent us negative energy, instead of being upset and 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:21.920 fighting back, I just smile. Mostly that I know of, 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:24.840 mostly all men that have said, oh, yeah, she's not 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:27.440 gonna make it, she's this, she's that, And now I'm like, oh, 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:29.840 now you play my music on the radio. Thank you. 0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:34.280 Now you not need something for me, because it's not 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:37.160 like that now. It's like we're helping each other, you know. 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:41.320 And it feels good to change people's mind and change 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:44.800 people's heart towards me, because it's happened a lot, and 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:47.320 it's all because I didn't give up. It's all because 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:51.520 I didn't let that imposter syndrome stop me and paralyze 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:54.160 me from my growth and from what I was meant 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:58.840 to accomplish. So thank you. I'm grateful. I'm happy. I 0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:01.720 get asked this question a lot, like what would you 0:17:01.880 --> 0:17:06.800 tell fifteen year old Cheeky's or little Cheeky's, And you 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:09.880 know what, it's crazy because I can think of moments 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:13.320 in my life, like when I was eight years old, 0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:16.440 ten years old that little Cheeky's. I would tell her, 0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:19.199 don't be afraid to speak up because I feel like 0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:23.520 I was suppressed because of things that were happening in 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:26.480 my life, you know, and I didn't speak up enough. 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:28.760 I didn't talk. I was so afraid to speak. I 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:31.400 was so afraid to say anything. And I would tell her, 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:38.520 definitely Cheeky's from like fourteen sixteen, those around there. I'd 0:17:38.560 --> 0:17:43.000 probably tell myself. I'd tell little Cheeky's, be more honest, 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:46.959 be more honest. Stop trying to seek people's approval and 0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:51.080 doing things to make other people happy, to make other 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.960 people proud of you. And I think that went all 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:58.320 the way to like almost through almost all my twenties. Guys, 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:04.240 that feeling of people pleasing, of needing that approval and 0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:07.479 not wanting to disappoint people. I wasn't being true to myself. 0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:10.800 I wasn't being honest with myself, and not because I 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:13.000 was spreading lies. It wasn't even that. It's more of 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:18.879 like just speak your truth, be okay, be unapologetically yourself. 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:21.119 And I feel like I lost so much time and 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:25.280 energy and I cried so much because I always wanted 0:18:25.720 --> 0:18:27.439 to do this people pleasing thing and it was just 0:18:27.480 --> 0:18:31.159 a vicious cycle and it just took me down roads 0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:33.320 that I had no business going down, Like I could 0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:35.720 have avoided myself a lot of problems if I stood 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:38.199 more in my power, and that didn't come until like 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:42.720 my thirties. So I forgive the little cheekies. It's part 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:47.080 of growing. It's part of maturing and learning and stepping 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:49.120 into your own I know it's all part of it. 0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:51.200 But when I look back and I think of all 0:18:51.240 --> 0:18:54.240 those seasons in my life and those ages, I think, 0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:57.920 I'm like, Okay, how can I prevent my child from 0:18:57.920 --> 0:18:59.720 going through that? Like I want to be able to 0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:02.040 and still that not only like how I do it 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.560 with you guys. You know, I speak to you guys 0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:05.560 like I want to be able to do this with 0:19:05.600 --> 0:19:07.399 my own child, Like I want to like raise the 0:19:07.440 --> 0:19:10.000 super child guys, because I've been through so much that 0:19:10.080 --> 0:19:12.320 I'm like, how can I help my child of course, 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:14.600 they're going to go through their own things, and I 0:19:14.640 --> 0:19:16.880 just want to be able to help them navigate through it. 0:19:17.119 --> 0:19:19.440 But it's also doing all of this. This is part 0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:21.800 of my calling, guys, is doing these types of things 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:24.760 and speaking to you guys and being honest with my 0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:27.400 experiences and the mistakes that I've made. And that's why 0:19:27.440 --> 0:19:30.399 I feel that it's important to have these conversations. And 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:32.159 I'm so grateful for my podcast and for all of 0:19:32.240 --> 0:19:34.080 my listeners that you guys take the time to like 0:19:34.160 --> 0:19:37.879 press play and listen to me, because I promise you that, 0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:42.240 in my heart of hearts, I just want to leave 0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:45.600 people places better than they were when I got there. 0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:48.800 I want to be able to plant seeds in your 0:19:48.800 --> 0:19:51.200 guys's hearts and in your mind so that you guys 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:53.600 can flourish into your best selves. And if I can 0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:55.719 prevent you guys from making those mistakes, that's what I'm 0:19:55.760 --> 0:19:57.160 going to do. And I don't know where I just went, 0:19:57.240 --> 0:19:58.679 but I was just speaking for my heart right now. 0:19:58.680 --> 0:20:01.000 I was like looking outside my window and like looking 0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:02.600 at the trees, and I just felt so inspired to 0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:04.600 say this because I was thinking of like the little 0:20:04.640 --> 0:20:09.120 cheekis and everything So anyways, that's the episode. All these 0:20:09.160 --> 0:20:11.640 things that I talked about. But that's what I love 0:20:11.680 --> 0:20:13.720