1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:04,040 Speaker 1: This is my legacy. 2 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:08,960 Speaker 2: Today we revisit our unforgettable conversation with Sarah Jakes Roberts, 3 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,559 Speaker 2: a woman who has inspired millions by telling the truth 4 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,119 Speaker 2: about her struggles and her triumphs. From teen mom to 5 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:19,159 Speaker 2: best selling author and global leader, Sarah reveals how to 6 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 2: transform setbacks into strength. 7 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: Let's dive in, Sarah. We're truly honored to have you 8 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 1: here today, and would you mind introducing to us your 9 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: plus one, the person who knows you best and who 10 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 1: has been with you on your life journey. 11 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,920 Speaker 3: It is my honor and privilege to have my mother, 12 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 3: Serrita Jakes, joining us today. I could stop it just 13 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 3: saying how much she means to me as my mother. 14 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:48,280 Speaker 3: But she is an incredible woman. First, she is courageous 15 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 3: and brilliant and vulnerable and strong. She's the glue of 16 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:56,280 Speaker 3: our family and certainly throughout some of my most difficult seasons, 17 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 3: I would say that she was the oil that got 18 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,800 Speaker 3: me unto stuck when I was in some spots that 19 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 3: I never thought I would get out of. So I'm 20 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 3: just so honored that I get to share her with 21 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 3: the world. 22 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:13,759 Speaker 4: I know a little something maybe about being a preacher's kid, 23 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:19,840 Speaker 4: but there obviously are additional dynamics when your parents are 24 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 4: larger than life. And so missus Jakes, how did you 25 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 4: help Sarah maybe become and navigate through those potential challenges 26 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 4: that would come. 27 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,120 Speaker 5: Well, you know, when I think of a legacy, I 28 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 5: was thinking today, you're looking forward, but you're also looking backwards. 29 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 5: So when we got to this huge city, I did 30 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,960 Speaker 5: not realize that I was going to have to move 31 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 5: to the forefront and that my children would be left 32 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 5: alone without me hedging them on either side. And my 33 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 5: mother died shortly after we got here. So in hindsight, 34 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 5: I would have done what she does. She'd make certain 35 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 5: that her children or wherever she is. I wish I 36 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 5: had done that more. And so seeing her overcome the 37 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 5: lack of my presence to try to do it differently 38 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 5: than I would have even thought to do is amazing 39 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 5: to me. 40 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 3: I will say, though, even though you guys had a 41 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,960 Speaker 3: lot of responsibilities and a lot of things going on, 42 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 3: I think one of the things that my mother did 43 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 3: is that when she was present, she was completely present. 44 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:36,679 Speaker 5: You would let us sleep. 45 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 3: In the bed with you. We would always be doing 46 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 3: dinner like you'd have us running around doing errands with you, 47 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 3: like I never felt like a burden. 48 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 6: Too you now and Sarah becoming a mom at fourteen, 49 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,520 Speaker 6: I'm sure that was a lot of judgment, a lot 50 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 6: of pressure, expectations, especially when you look at it within 51 00:02:55,760 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 6: the faith community, right, So what do you remember around 52 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 6: that in that moment and how do you feel it 53 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 6: shaped you and your legacy moving forward. 54 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 3: Fourteen is such a young age to become a mother 55 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 3: that I think to properly contextualize it, you have to 56 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 3: understand that I was not afraid of being pregnant or 57 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 3: having a baby. I thought I was going to get 58 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 3: in trouble. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm going to 59 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 3: get grounded or my parents are going to be so upset. 60 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 3: It wasn't until I saw their response that I began 61 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 3: to realize that this is much bigger than like you 62 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 3: got in trouble, Like your life has completely changed. But 63 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 3: to my mom's credit, one of the things she told me, 64 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 3: she's like, I didn't get rid of my babies. I 65 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 3: didn't give them away. Whatever you decide to do, I'm 66 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 3: going to stick with you every step of the way. 67 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 3: And she did that, and a man, there were so 68 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 3: many moments where I've won. I felt like the pregnancy 69 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 3: just solidified this idea that I don't belong in that family. 70 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 3: So if you go back to that image of me 71 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 3: as a little girl being confused and amazed, I think 72 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 3: in that moment, it was solidified, like, oh, my goodness, 73 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 3: you don't belong here, and so it became so easy 74 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 3: for me to kind of move into the background. But 75 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,839 Speaker 3: I think in moving into the background that it also 76 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 3: gave me an opportunity to discover my identity outside of 77 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 3: my family name. It's like I'm already the black Sheep, 78 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 3: I'm already disconnected. Now I get to just kind of 79 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 3: figure out who I am and what I want to 80 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 3: do with my life. And though my life had certainly 81 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 3: had some twists and turns, even since having the pregnancy, 82 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,160 Speaker 3: I found a real sense of being okay with myself 83 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 3: without the validation of other people, because I'd lost it 84 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,839 Speaker 3: in many ways. And the moment that I began to 85 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 3: really say, you know what, this is my story. I'm 86 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,840 Speaker 3: want to love it. I'm going to embrace it, and 87 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,919 Speaker 3: I'm going to wake up each day and really do 88 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 3: the best that I can, I began to see my 89 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 3: life change for myself, and then the overflow of that 90 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 3: kind of changed into this touch point for other women 91 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 3: who could relate to experiences like my own. 92 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,479 Speaker 1: And so you didn't know at the time that you 93 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: were practically battling with depression. Just you felt something was broken, 94 00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:00,720 Speaker 1: and you've now been so open about others helped others 95 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 1: to create safe spaces. You know, our family, my wife's 96 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 1: a psychologists. Our families battle those same issues. So when 97 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 1: you look back and you reflect back in your own journey, 98 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,479 Speaker 1: what have you learned about mental health and what do 99 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,839 Speaker 1: you share with others? 100 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 3: I think that I learned really a lot about functioning 101 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:25,719 Speaker 3: depression and trying to achieve to cure depression. I just 102 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:29,039 Speaker 3: there are so many pockets of my life that I 103 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 3: feel like I don't remember because I was in such 104 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 3: a fog of depression that they are just memories that 105 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 3: I can easily pull from. But what I have learned 106 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:42,599 Speaker 3: is whether we acknowledge where we are, especially when we're 107 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,479 Speaker 3: having harder emotions, whether we acknowledge it or not, it 108 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,039 Speaker 3: doesn't mean that it's not showing up in our actions 109 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 3: in our life in some way. And I think giving 110 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 3: myself permission to feel because I think when I first 111 00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:00,480 Speaker 3: got pregnant and I realized by everyone else's respect that 112 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:04,039 Speaker 3: this is something bad has happened, this is something that's wrong, 113 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 3: I think I immediately shut down and just went into 114 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,600 Speaker 3: survival mode. And oftentimes when we're in survival mode, even 115 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:14,160 Speaker 3: in a physical experience, if we're having a car accident 116 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:17,360 Speaker 3: or something traumatic has happened to our bodies physically, sometimes 117 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 3: we don't feel the pain because there's so much adrenaline 118 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,440 Speaker 3: you're in the moment that you can't tell that you're bleeding. 119 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,160 Speaker 3: And I feel like mental health is very similar to that. 120 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,720 Speaker 3: The shock of the trauma that we have experience can 121 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,559 Speaker 3: be so jarring that we don't even take the time 122 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 3: to assess how we're showing up in the world and 123 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:36,039 Speaker 3: how that could be depression, it could be anxiety, And 124 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,599 Speaker 3: a lot of times it ends up showing in the 125 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 3: choices we make to a neeseize those pains. And so 126 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 3: I think that I have learned to really take a 127 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 3: moment and ask myself, how did you feel after that happened. 128 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 3: Whether it feels like it was an immature response or 129 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 3: a mature response, I think it's important to really assess 130 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 3: I had a reaction to what just occurred. And it 131 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 3: has allowed me to not just recognize the moments where 132 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 3: I'm having a heart emotion, like depression, like anxiety, but 133 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 3: also to allow myself to experience joy. Because there are 134 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 3: so many things that happen that our answers to prayers, 135 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,200 Speaker 3: that our dreams that we thought would never achieve, and 136 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 3: we're so busy moving on to the next thing that 137 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 3: we don't take a moment to really recognize, like I'm 138 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 3: already standing in a dream that I thought would never 139 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:26,760 Speaker 3: be and so I am prayer for that part of 140 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 3: what I get to pass down and maybe pass up, 141 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 3: because I think the beauty of legacy is not just 142 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 3: what we pass down, but we get to throw some 143 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,440 Speaker 3: things up. Is this opportunity to allow yourself to take 144 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,400 Speaker 3: up space in your own world, to not just run 145 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 3: your world and to function function in your world, but 146 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 3: to take up space to allow yourself to be one 147 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 3: of the main the main character in your story, and 148 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 3: to give yourself permission to do that has been really 149 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 3: helpful for me as I navigate what mental health looks like. 150 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 6: Well, let's talk about some thing that you wrote on Instagram, 151 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 6: because in your getting better and getting better and getting better. 152 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 6: At one point you thought that you didn't you did 153 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 6: not ever want to get remarried. 154 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, but. 155 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 6: Then someone changed your mind. Oh yeah, and this is 156 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 6: what you wrote on Instagram. The vulnerability required to become 157 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 6: one after you fought to become whole is not often discussed. 158 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 6: I had to surrender my identity as a powerful single 159 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 6: mother to discover my power as a married woman. 160 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, nasty work, you know. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. 161 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 3: You know. I got to a space where I was healthy, 162 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 3: I'd bought a home for me and my children, and 163 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 3: I thought, this is the dream. Like I thought that 164 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,760 Speaker 3: getting married and having the white picket fence was the dream. 165 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 3: I saw that white picket finch just keep falling off 166 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,680 Speaker 3: over and over again, and I said, you know what, fine, 167 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 3: I love me and my mindself. I'll travel the world. 168 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,920 Speaker 3: I'm still young. Everything will be fine. Then I met 169 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 3: this man, and in meeting him, I just I love 170 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,560 Speaker 3: the way the world looked through his eyes. It was 171 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 3: a compliment to the way the world looked through my eyes. 172 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 3: But it also had so much more vibrancy and color, 173 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:26,080 Speaker 3: and there was so much more care and depth for 174 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,959 Speaker 3: people and opportunities and I thought to myself, I think 175 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 3: that he would make me better. You know, as we 176 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 3: talk about this better better. But I will say that 177 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:41,319 Speaker 3: I underestimated the transformation necessary for me to let go 178 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:44,320 Speaker 3: of the pride of being like, oh my gosh, I 179 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,839 Speaker 3: made it. I'm this, you know, single mother who bought 180 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,960 Speaker 3: this house. And I can make good decisions and I 181 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 3: can take care of my family. I can I can 182 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 3: bring home the bacon and fried in a pan. And 183 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,319 Speaker 3: now I have someone who's like, hey, I could grab 184 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 3: the pan, or hey, I could bring home the bacon. 185 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 3: And I think I did have this sense of pride 186 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 3: and identity connected to that. I never wanted to need 187 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 3: a man again. I never wanted to feel like my 188 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 3: life would fall apart if something happened. And I think 189 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 3: in the resistance of oneness that I could have lost 190 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:17,559 Speaker 3: out on the opportunity to experience the beauty of oneness. 191 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 3: And so that took a lot of work. He's got 192 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:26,679 Speaker 3: some battle scars, God bless him. But my life woman 193 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 3: evolved when exists if it wasn't for him, because his 194 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 3: ability to create space for me to dream and to 195 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,840 Speaker 3: believe in those dreams and to say they're not crazy. 196 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 3: They're possible. Gave me the courage to actually pursue them. 197 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 3: So he's definitely been a north star for me for 198 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,319 Speaker 3: many years now. 199 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:51,000 Speaker 6: Next, Sarah talks about the messy middle, living in it 200 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 6: and loving yourself through it, like follow and share with 201 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 6: someone you love, to let them know you've got them, 202 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 6: no matter where they are in their journey. Now back 203 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 6: to my legacy. 204 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 1: And Sarah, when I think of your ministry, or I 205 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: think of Women Evolved, it has been built on this 206 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 1: radical transparency, Like you have redefined what it means to 207 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 1: be a woman of faith based on radical transparency, your past, 208 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 1: your marriage, You're sharing your stories. Why with Women Evolve 209 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: has it and your entire ministry, why has vulnerability been 210 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 1: so important? Why has it been so important for you 211 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: to be this radically transparent with all those who look 212 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 1: to you? 213 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,000 Speaker 3: You know, I don't know that I saw it as 214 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,199 Speaker 3: radical when it started. Like I said, I kind of 215 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 3: thought that if I told people, they would be like, oh, 216 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 3: my goodness, will leave her alone and it won't be 217 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:45,080 Speaker 3: a thing. But the more that I realized how many 218 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,839 Speaker 3: of us are suffering in silence, the more I felt 219 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 3: like if I can tell my story and it helps 220 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,360 Speaker 3: someone else, then I'll tell it one more time, and 221 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 3: if it helps someone else, I'll tell it another time. 222 00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:00,600 Speaker 3: And I think what I have learned is that through isolation, 223 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 3: the darker voices, the harder voices, the meaner voices that 224 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:08,160 Speaker 3: we hear in our head, they're louder and until you 225 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 3: hear someone say like, hey, I felt that too, But 226 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,440 Speaker 3: I'm telling you it wasn't always like that, or that 227 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 3: I found a flicker, that it gives someone permission to 228 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 3: start looking for light even in their dark seasons. And 229 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 3: I didn't want to. I didn't want to be in ministry. 230 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,320 Speaker 3: I didn't have this as like a goal in my heart. 231 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 3: And so I'm like, if I'm gonna do this, I'm 232 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,720 Speaker 3: gonna at least be honest. I don't want anyone to 233 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 3: ever be surprised that because I preached a message that 234 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 3: I experienced depression, that I worked at a strip club, 235 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,320 Speaker 3: Like I want you to know, like this is what 236 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,319 Speaker 3: you're getting. It is not much, but I am gonna 237 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,080 Speaker 3: give my best. I'm gonna share my best, and if 238 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,360 Speaker 3: I make you feel less alone, then girl, we could 239 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 3: grab arms and move towards better together. But I just didn't. 240 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 3: I just didn't want to. I didn't want to live 241 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 3: on a pedestal. I wanted to be able to. Sometimes 242 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 3: on my social media, I'll be like all glammed up, 243 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 3: dressed up. Other moments, I'll literally be snatching my whip 244 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,559 Speaker 3: golf and washing my face like this is like this 245 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 3: is all of who I am, and I just don't 246 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 3: want people to be connected to this caricature. I don't 247 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:10,320 Speaker 3: want to be trapped in my own life, and so 248 00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:14,719 Speaker 3: for me, my honesty has been my freedom. My honesty 249 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:19,079 Speaker 3: has been the runway that allows me to not feel 250 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,960 Speaker 3: stuck in this life. And I think because of that, 251 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 3: my prayer is that I'll continue to have endurance for 252 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 3: what is ahead because I don't have to figure out 253 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 3: how do I keep this mask up? How do I 254 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:34,200 Speaker 3: keep this facade going? My greatest question is how do 255 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 3: I continue to be honest in a way that reaches 256 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:40,559 Speaker 3: the most unlikely person. I think that people should know 257 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:44,400 Speaker 3: that it's all the messy middle. You know what I mean. 258 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 3: That's that it's all the messy middle, that there is 259 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,160 Speaker 3: no there, there, there is no Once I do this, 260 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 3: then that once you get there, you realize that there's 261 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 3: another mountain, that it keeps going that there's something else 262 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 3: that you have to overcome. So instead of trying to 263 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 3: get post anything, I think the question is how do 264 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,280 Speaker 3: I find the better in now? And I think that 265 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,679 Speaker 3: that has been one of the things that has really 266 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:16,080 Speaker 3: been instrumental for me, is recognizing that there's beauty in 267 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:20,600 Speaker 3: the messy middle. And if I keep moving the goal post, 268 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 3: then I'll never find peace. But if I dare to 269 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,480 Speaker 3: believe that there's peace somewhere here, then all I have 270 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,960 Speaker 3: to do is start searching for where it exists. Now 271 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 3: I just have gone through enough to I mean, especially 272 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,720 Speaker 3: if you think about my life like as a team mother, 273 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,120 Speaker 3: I thought, when I get married, then I'll be okay. 274 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 3: And then I got married and I'm like, well, if 275 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,800 Speaker 3: he would do this, then I'll be okay. And if 276 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 3: we do that, then I'll be okay. And then I 277 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,200 Speaker 3: left it and I'm like, if I could get the house, 278 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,760 Speaker 3: then I'll be okay. Then I got the house and 279 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 3: I met this incredible man, and it's like, okay. Once 280 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 3: I moved to La then like it just kept moving. 281 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,480 Speaker 3: And so it dawned on me this is all a 282 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 3: part of the journey. It's all the messy middle. But 283 00:14:56,480 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 3: I do believe that our lives can be scripted, incursive, 284 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 3: and I say it can be because a lot of 285 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,800 Speaker 3: times we miss out on how things can be woven together. 286 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 3: We miss out on how all things can work together 287 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 3: because we segment our lives, we try to leave some 288 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 3: things behind. I'm gonna pretend like that never happened. I'm 289 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 3: going to become another person, not realizing that the beauty 290 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 3: of our story is the full weight of our story. 291 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 3: And so if we can collect all of our pieces 292 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 3: and look at the President and say, Okay, this is 293 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 3: the wisdom I have, the experiences I have, how do 294 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 3: I apply it to this moment? I have found that 295 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,800 Speaker 3: that is the shovel that we used to find the 296 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 3: beauty in the messy middles. 297 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:39,200 Speaker 7: Sarah and missus Jakes, it was a privilege to listen 298 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 7: and to witness the two of you together, Missus Jake's 299 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 7: it sounds like the love that your daughter holds for 300 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 7: you is boundless, Sarah, the admiration your mom holds for you, 301 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 7: and the two of you being so just open about 302 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 7: the journey, how it hasn't always been easy, so vulnerable, 303 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 7: but what we through the healing, the reconciliation, the learnings, 304 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 7: the ministry, the sharing, that messy middle, that caterpillar emerging 305 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,800 Speaker 7: into that butterfly that inspires now millions around the world. 306 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 7: And so thank you for sharing your legacy with all 307 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 7: of our listeners and viewers, and thank you for sharing 308 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 7: that legacy with the. 309 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:26,200 Speaker 5: World, and for allowing us a safe place to just stop, 310 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 5: share our hearts and take off the mask and be real. 311 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 5: It's so important that we don't have to pretend this 312 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:38,120 Speaker 5: is who we are. Thank you, thank you so much, 313 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:38,720 Speaker 5: thank you. 314 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 2: Thank you, bo thank you, thank you for joining us. 315 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 2: If you enjoy today's conversation, subscribe, share, and follow us 316 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 2: on at my Legacy Movement on social media and YouTube. 317 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 2: New episodes drop every Tuesday, with bonus content every Thursday. 318 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 2: At its core, this podcast honors doctor King's vision of 319 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 2: the beloved community and the power of connection. A Legacy 320 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:09,879 Speaker 2: Plus Studio production distributed by iHeartMedia creator and executive producer 321 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:13,760 Speaker 2: Suzanne Hayward co executive producer Lisa Lyle. Listen on the 322 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,439 Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.