WEBVTT - Butt Beetles

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<v Speaker 1>It's another jubile phone frame.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi, my name is Pete Eakins and I'm calling from

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<v Speaker 3>doctor office. I was looking for Will.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah you go? Will you got hey?

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<v Speaker 1>Will? How you doing? You came in here to take

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<v Speaker 1>some food allergy tests?

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<v Speaker 2>Sure did, and yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I am calling with your results.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh good, I'm waiting for those.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>So do you have a little bit of time because

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like I feel like this is going to

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<v Speaker 3>be an interesting conversation. Oh okay, nothing to alarm you.

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<v Speaker 3>It's nothing really serious. But you don't have food allergies.

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<v Speaker 3>What we did find was that you have something that

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<v Speaker 3>is called rectus coleoptera.

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<v Speaker 1>What the hell is that?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, gosh, it's it's really hard to figure out how

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<v Speaker 3>to say it exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>We don't get many cases of this.

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<v Speaker 3>We have had a few this year, though, So rectus

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<v Speaker 3>colio petera is So do you know do you know

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<v Speaker 3>what the word colia means?

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<v Speaker 2>I have no idea.

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<v Speaker 3>So that is a scientific word for beetle, and the

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<v Speaker 3>other word is a scientific word for you know, So

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<v Speaker 3>I'll say it in non scientific terms. We've discovered that

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<v Speaker 3>you have butt beetles.

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<v Speaker 2>The hell's a butt beetle?

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<v Speaker 1>That's what it sounds like.

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<v Speaker 3>There's some at some point somehow, you got some unwanted

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<v Speaker 3>visitors up there.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Wait, you're telling me I have beatles living in in

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<v Speaker 2>my bot.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yep.

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<v Speaker 3>You are the fourth case of butt beetles we've had

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<v Speaker 3>in the last two years. And like I said, I

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<v Speaker 3>knew it was gonna be a strange conversation, but it

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<v Speaker 3>really has nothing to be that concerned about. It's just

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<v Speaker 3>that's that's what it is. It's not a food allergy.

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<v Speaker 3>You just got to you got some beatles up there.

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<v Speaker 2>How would I get something like that?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Do any naked time in the desert or anything.

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<v Speaker 2>No, that's ridiculous. They could tie you with it in

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<v Speaker 2>the desert. Come on, I want to be make it

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<v Speaker 2>in the desert.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know, but that is definitely one way that

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<v Speaker 3>you can get this. So yeah, that's what it is though.

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<v Speaker 3>So you can eat whatever you want. That's the good news.

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<v Speaker 3>The bad news is you got beetles in the bum.

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<v Speaker 2>That's beetles my buck.

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<v Speaker 1>Hell, I'm sorry, what was that.

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<v Speaker 2>Tell my wife? Oh, you got a food allergy?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh? Has she had any food problems?

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<v Speaker 2>Like?

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<v Speaker 1>Because sometimes the beatles can travel.

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<v Speaker 2>No, No, she's good. No, I'm one of the food problems,

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<v Speaker 2>or we thought that it was a food problem. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>all right, there's some you know, it's just not good.

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<v Speaker 2>It's gross. I mean, how do I get these beetles in?

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<v Speaker 3>But it's really nothing to be that concerned about. So,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, like I said, it's not a big health issue.

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<v Speaker 3>You can leave them up there if you want.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I don't want beetles in my buttets. No, that's

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<v Speaker 2>not an option.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, so you're saying you do want the beetles removed

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<v Speaker 3>from uh, you're carrying case.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know another better way to say it.

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<v Speaker 2>Listen, can you stop describing it, you know, like like

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<v Speaker 2>you're doing it. Maybe be a little more professional about

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<v Speaker 2>this whole deal for me.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, I'm so sorry about that. I will call did

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<v Speaker 3>by the scientific name Rectus coleoptera in case you want

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<v Speaker 3>to look it up.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what it is.

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<v Speaker 3>There is one thing that you can do right now.

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<v Speaker 3>It's very easy actually, and it works ninety eight percent

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<v Speaker 3>of the time. Other than that, you can come in

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<v Speaker 3>here and we can do a procedure, which is you know,

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<v Speaker 3>is a whole thing. But there's something with you can

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<v Speaker 3>do with a household item that will get them out usually.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, what do I need to do? Well?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have any ice cubes?

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<v Speaker 2>Of course?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>If you take an ice cube and just apply it

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<v Speaker 3>to the area for just a second, that should make

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<v Speaker 3>that thing, you know, puck her up, buttercup, and they'll

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<v Speaker 3>come out of there becase it'll be too tight.

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<v Speaker 2>So you want me to take an ice cube and

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<v Speaker 2>like put it on my.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, just for a second. You can have your wife

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<v Speaker 1>help you if she's there with you.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just sort of ridiculous, all right, do it a try.

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<v Speaker 3>Like I said, you just need to kind of you

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<v Speaker 3>don't need to do anything crazy, just a little tappy

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<v Speaker 3>tap tap.

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<v Speaker 2>Tap, all right, all right, I've got a nice cube.

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<v Speaker 1>But okay, it's just ridiculous.

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry here, why are you laughing?

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<v Speaker 1>Don't do that?

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<v Speaker 3>But hey, she's probably laughing because this is actually Jubil

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<v Speaker 3>from the Jubil Show doing a phone brank on you

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<v Speaker 3>and your wife.

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<v Speaker 1>Natalie set you up.

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<v Speaker 2>Get out of here, are you kidding?

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<v Speaker 1>It's a joke.

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<v Speaker 3>She said that you went to the doctor for foodologies

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<v Speaker 3>and she wanted me to mess with you. And that's

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<v Speaker 3>the only thing I could think of was feels in

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<v Speaker 3>your no.

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<v Speaker 2>I cannot believe I was believing this.

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<v Speaker 1>Wake up every morning with jubile phone branks. We say

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<v Speaker 1>mornings on the twenties