WEBVTT - Divide and conquer 

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to divide and conquer streamline household and

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<v Speaker 1>family tasks by deciding once who handles whole areas of responsibility.

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<v Speaker 1>Then you can do your jobs as you best see fit,

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<v Speaker 1>and you can stop worrying about other people's fears of influence.

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<v Speaker 1>Maintaining a home and raising a family are huge jobs

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<v Speaker 1>that encompass myriad responsibilities. Lawn care, home maintenance, cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning,

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<v Speaker 1>check ups and the like for you and your kids.

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<v Speaker 1>Managing children's special needs or therapies, pet care, birthday gifts

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<v Speaker 1>and celebrations, car maintenance, financial management, arranging child care either

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<v Speaker 1>full time or after school and in the summers. Keeping

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<v Speaker 1>up with what's happening in your neighborhood or your religious

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<v Speaker 1>community or your kids schools. Troubleshooting cable and internet issues,

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<v Speaker 1>taking out the trash and recycling. I bet you could

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<v Speaker 1>list at least a dozen more areas of ongoing responsibility.

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<v Speaker 1>We all feel like we are doing a lot, and

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<v Speaker 1>when we do, it is easy to feel that maybe

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<v Speaker 1>other people aren't doing a lot. Such is the stuff

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<v Speaker 1>of so many household arguments. This is especially true because

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes labor isn't immediately visible. One party might resent spending

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<v Speaker 1>time cooking dinner if he or she just signed a

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<v Speaker 1>bunch of kids up for summer camps. But how is

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<v Speaker 1>any one else in the household supposed to know that

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<v Speaker 1>this project just consumed the last two hours. So here

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<v Speaker 1>is one approach to making the logistics run more smoothly

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<v Speaker 1>and to limit everyone's mental load. Divide and conquer list

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<v Speaker 1>household responsibilities and then assign full responsibility for these tasks

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<v Speaker 1>to adults and older children in the household. So, for instance,

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<v Speaker 1>one person might be in charge of grocery shopping. One

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<v Speaker 1>person could be in charge of trash and recycling. One

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<v Speaker 1>person could be in charge of bill paying. One person

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<v Speaker 1>could be in charge of all veterinary care. You get

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<v Speaker 1>this idea. The division of labor is efficient because people

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<v Speaker 1>develop expertise. When the sink springs a leak, there is

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<v Speaker 1>one person in charge of plumbing who knows exactly which

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<v Speaker 1>plumber to call and what is a reasonable amount to

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<v Speaker 1>pay for this service. The party in charge of summer

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<v Speaker 1>camp planning knows exactly how to fill out all the forms,

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<v Speaker 1>and when the deadlines are people can relax about the

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<v Speaker 1>areas that aren't their jobs as well they aren't their jobs.

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<v Speaker 1>No need to worry about whether the trash that normally

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<v Speaker 1>goes out on Mondays needs to go out on a

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<v Speaker 1>different night because of an upcoming holiday. The person in

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<v Speaker 1>charge of trash and recycling, we'll deal with that now.

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<v Speaker 1>Of course, this might not all run completely smoothly. Perhaps

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<v Speaker 1>one sphere becomes utterly overwhelming, in which case roles might

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<v Speaker 1>need to be renegotiated. Certain spheres are probably best split

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<v Speaker 1>for emotional and relationship building reasons, such as taking care

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<v Speaker 1>of small kids during non school and work hours. All

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<v Speaker 1>parties should know at least something about family finances, even

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<v Speaker 1>if one person handles the logistics. So not everything is

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<v Speaker 1>going to be completely divided and conquered. And of course

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<v Speaker 1>there's this common question what do you do when someone

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<v Speaker 1>appears to just not do their stuff every and suffers

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<v Speaker 1>if the trash doesn't go out to the curb on

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<v Speaker 1>trash Day in the garage reeks for the entire next week.

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<v Speaker 1>Someone once left a comment on my blog mentioning that

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<v Speaker 1>in the two parents in this family had decided that

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<v Speaker 1>Party A would always bring the kids to school since

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<v Speaker 1>Party b's jobs started at the crack of dawn. Net result,

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<v Speaker 1>the children had fifty tardies in the course of a year. Yikes.

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<v Speaker 1>It is hard to know what's going on in any

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<v Speaker 1>given situation. I mean there may need to be some

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<v Speaker 1>tough conversations, though in general it's best for people to

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<v Speaker 1>select the jobs that they are most drawn to, or

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<v Speaker 1>that they care most about or have the highest standards for.

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<v Speaker 1>If one party barely loves cooking and the other doesn't,

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<v Speaker 1>the non cooking party is best off being assigned to, say,

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<v Speaker 1>dish duty, rather than having constant fights over a meal

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<v Speaker 1>rotation involving frozen pizzas or take out. There should also

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<v Speaker 1>be a con or station about what constitutes done. In

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<v Speaker 1>an upcoming episode, I'll talk about how there is a

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<v Speaker 1>difference between doing something yourself and making it happen. Even

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<v Speaker 1>if one party loves cooking, general household standards need not

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<v Speaker 1>require a cooked from scratch dinner every single night. There

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<v Speaker 1>also needs to be some grace and no micromanaging. Fifty

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<v Speaker 1>tardis does seem a bit much to me. On the

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<v Speaker 1>other hand, if one party agrees to do children's baths,

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<v Speaker 1>and that party thinks three times a week is just

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<v Speaker 1>fine for children too young to wash themselves. The other

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<v Speaker 1>party's belief that five times a week is right is

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<v Speaker 1>not really relevant. The stakes about this are low so

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<v Speaker 1>but out in general, though, most people who choose to

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<v Speaker 1>share a household want to make things run smoothly. If

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<v Speaker 1>someone who hates grocery shopping knows that taking out the

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<v Speaker 1>trash mean he or she is never going to have

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<v Speaker 1>to visit a grocery store again, well this can make

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<v Speaker 1>for a very attractive trade off. So if you are

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<v Speaker 1>looking for ways to reduce the mental load, consider listing

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<v Speaker 1>out duties and divvying them up, assigning full responsibility for completion.

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<v Speaker 1>You just might make everyone a little happier in the meantime.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura, Thanks for listening, and here's to making

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<v Speaker 1>the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to

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<v Speaker 1>hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

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<v Speaker 1>or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

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<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod that's b E the

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<v Speaker 1>number four then Breakfast p o D. You can also

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<v Speaker 1>shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcast at iHeart

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<v Speaker 1>media dot com. Before breakfast is spelled out with all

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<v Speaker 1>the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to staying

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<v Speaker 1>in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio.

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