Speaker 1: Pushkin.
Speaker 2: Hi, Dear, how are you?
Speaker 3: Do people ever approach you to tell you that you
Speaker 3: sound just like Jackie from Heavyweight?
Speaker 2: No, that can't happen.
Speaker 1: If they did, would you tell me or you would
Speaker 1: feel like it would?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: Of course I would not share it.
Speaker 3: So how do I know if someone has said it?
Speaker 3: You don't someone has said it, haven't they? No, Johnny,
Speaker 3: you paused before you said no, I'll.
Speaker 5: Like not but like been a long time from now.
Speaker 1: In a soon time from now, right soonish, I'm.
Speaker 6: Trying to break up john I'm trying to break up
Speaker 6: with you.
Speaker 1: Well, you can't break up with me because I'm breaking
Speaker 1: up with you.
Speaker 5: Do you want to see who hangs up first?
Speaker 1: I don't. It's like a duel rat from Gimblet Media.
Speaker 3: I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is Heavy Wait Today's episode Annie.
Speaker 1: Right after the break.
Speaker 3: Every day I receive emails from people looking to make
Speaker 3: peace with the past, resolved some long standing hurt that
Speaker 3: still nags at them. These are emails filled with regret
Speaker 3: and reflection, carefully chosen words labored over sentences. Annie's email
Speaker 3: possessed none of these elements. Annie's email possessed a lot
Speaker 3: of exclamation points and words in all caps. The story
Speaker 3: she told was of her uncle in all the ways
Speaker 3: he had wronged her over the years. The infractions Annie
Speaker 3: described were really pretty small, but her anger was enormous.
Speaker 3: Annie was gearing up for a face off. She even
Speaker 3: signed her email let the conference begin, punctuated by two
Speaker 3: exclamation points. I was conflicted. On the one hand, I
Speaker 3: was horrified by Annie's willingness to cause such a royal stink,
Speaker 3: But on the other hand, I was delighted by Annie's
Speaker 3: willingness to cause such a royal stink. Who among us
Speaker 3: hasn't wished at some point that we could call people
Speaker 3: out on the little things that hurt us. After all,
Speaker 3: most often it's the mini bite sized betrayals and small
Speaker 3: slights that really eat us up. But for fear of
Speaker 3: being called petty, we pretend to let it all go.
Speaker 3: But not Annie. I did, indeed want to see someone
Speaker 3: join Annie on her healing journey of screaming and yelling.
Speaker 3: I just didn't want it to be me, my producer.
Speaker 3: Khalila is not me. She is also quite possibly Annie's
Speaker 3: complete opposite. Khalila is undisposed to confrontation. She told me
Speaker 3: she once had a job where, rather than cause a fuss,
Speaker 3: she allowed her coworkers to mistakenly refer to her as
Speaker 3: Callie for four years. Khalila could help Annie and maybe
Speaker 3: along the way a little Annie would rub off on her,
Speaker 3: and even better, I wouldn't have to get involved in
Speaker 3: this mess at all.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I had a different thought about this one, and so
Speaker 3: I lay out the plan to Khalila. I will pass
Speaker 3: the baton to her so that both she and Annie
Speaker 3: can grow into their best selves. I was thinking, you know,
Speaker 3: I would sit this one out and allow you your
Speaker 3: chance to shine.
Speaker 2: So you want to send me into a cringy situation instead.
Speaker 1: I think so mm hmmm.
Speaker 3: I feel like an armchair colonel dispatching a foot soldier
Speaker 3: on my behalf. I have to stay behind and do paperwork.
Speaker 2: Right, and I have to go out there and get shot.
Speaker 3: I do feel like you can offer support and she can,
Speaker 3: like maybe teach you something as well.
Speaker 2: Here comes wellness.
Speaker 1: What did you just swallow? Is that saliva?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Really? Yeah? In spite of what Jonathan might think,
Speaker 2: Annie and I actually have a lot in common.
Speaker 6: My favorite food is breakfast.
Speaker 2: I mean too, I have a breakfast tattoo.
Speaker 6: Stop it, Yeah, I have breakfast.
Speaker 2: Annie goes by two different names, Annie and Andrea, and
Speaker 2: so do I, Khalila and Kaylee. While in for four
Speaker 2: years CALLI. My birthday is April fifth and her birthday
Speaker 2: is April sixth, And in our youth, we both harbored
Speaker 2: a weird obsession with cows. But of course there's the
Speaker 2: one key way in which Annie and I are different.
Speaker 2: Annie has no problem causing a fuss, and as for.
Speaker 1: Me, good morning, good morning?
Speaker 2: Is this Joe?
Speaker 7: It is?
Speaker 2: This is talking to Joe. Joe is the audio engineer
Speaker 2: I hired to record Annie's side of the conversation. Annie
Speaker 2: and I are talking over the phone. I'm in New York.
Speaker 2: Annie's at Joe's studio in Seattle. Are you guys all
Speaker 2: set up like you're recording and everything?
Speaker 7: Normally about five minutes?
Speaker 2: Okay? By okay, I mean this is not okay. The
Speaker 2: great Canadian documentarian Jonathan Goldstein once told me that the
Speaker 2: way one captures the magic is to abr always be recording.
Speaker 2: So when I booked studio time, I asked Joe repeatedly
Speaker 2: to start recording Annie the moment I phoned. Instead, he
Speaker 2: seems to be taking pictures of his dog Domino. But
Speaker 2: I would never confront Joe about this, because that is
Speaker 2: not the person I am. The person I am would
Speaker 2: rather take on huge amounts of discomfort myself than make
Speaker 2: anyone else even a little bit uncomfortable. Unless someone is
Speaker 2: being outright cruel to me, it always feels like, well,
Speaker 2: their intentions are probably good, and so I tell myself
Speaker 2: Joe's just doing his best, and I wait a few
Speaker 2: more minutes, Hello, are you recording? Joe? No machines are
Speaker 2: firing up right now, which for listeners unfamiliar with the
Speaker 2: more technical aspects of podcasting, the process of going from
Speaker 2: not recording to recording consists of raising your forefinger and
Speaker 2: then lowering it onto the record button. Yet ten minutes in,
Speaker 2: I'm still just listening to Joe rustle around in a
Speaker 2: mysterious way, and rather than yelling press the stupid button,
Speaker 2: I make small talk about the weather, about how it's February,
Speaker 2: tewod a lotitudes and zero's in the date today.
Speaker 4: I am sorry?
Speaker 7: Who am I talking to on the phone?
Speaker 2: Khalila Khalia?
Speaker 1: Could you speak for just a few moments and just
Speaker 1: have a.
Speaker 2: Sure are you recording? Uh?
Speaker 4: Just about I'm just kind of focusing the mic and
Speaker 4: getting it.
Speaker 2: Well. I make problems worse by pretending that there is
Speaker 2: no problem. Annie makes problems worse by flying off the handle.
Speaker 2: Oh great, thank you, Joe. And once we can finally
Speaker 2: start talking, Annie explains how this is precisely what happened
Speaker 2: with her uncle.
Speaker 8: I really look up and admire my uncle.
Speaker 2: Annie's uncle Tim is like an old fashioned cowboy out
Speaker 2: of a Western. When she was a kid, her family
Speaker 2: would drive from Seattle to Utah every summer to visit
Speaker 2: his dairy farm.
Speaker 8: I loved going to Utah. I loved it. I couldn't
Speaker 8: even wait to be dropped off at Uncle Tim's. Like
Speaker 8: everybody else was staying at Grandma's down the street, and
Speaker 8: I just couldn't even be bothered to put my bags down,
Speaker 8: Just drop me off at Uncle Tim's.
Speaker 9: Him teaching me how to milk cows.
Speaker 8: And I got a special title when all the cows
Speaker 8: line up and you you know, you have to sanitize
Speaker 8: and clean their utters and everything before you start milking them.
Speaker 9: I was the dippy girl.
Speaker 2: Tim only became more important to Annie as her other
Speaker 2: family dwindled. Her dad died when she was a teenager,
Speaker 2: and then she lost a cousin she was close with
Speaker 2: to a traumatic accident. It made her realize how abruptly
Speaker 2: people could be taken from you. She wanted to hold
Speaker 2: on tight to the family she still had. She wanted
Speaker 2: to hold on to Tim. All through her teen years.
Speaker 2: Annie continued to visit Tim on the farm, and after
Speaker 2: he retired, Tim and his wife would make regular visits
Speaker 2: to Seattle, where Annie's whole family lives. The whole gang
Speaker 2: would go out to eat, attend baseball games together. But
Speaker 2: in recent years something's changed.
Speaker 8: Now they'll come a couple times a year, and they
Speaker 8: don't tell me, and I don't hear from my mom
Speaker 8: when they're coming. This isn't something that happens like occasionally.
Speaker 8: This is now every time they come here.
Speaker 2: How long has what been going on for?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 2: Like years?
Speaker 9: I would have to say at least ten.
Speaker 2: For ten years now. When Tim and his wife come to town,
Speaker 2: they always hang out with Annie's mom, but not with Annie.
Speaker 2: Annie has countless stories of being left out, each more
Speaker 2: hurtful than the last.
Speaker 9: Got a couple of favorites.
Speaker 2: Yeah please, Okay, So I'd.
Speaker 8: Called my mom and I'm on Fourth Avenue.
Speaker 2: The details of these stories are convoluted, and understanding the
Speaker 2: true extent of each slight requires a greater knowledge of
Speaker 2: Seattle geography than this reporter possesses. There was a time
Speaker 2: Tim and his wife went to some big ferris wheel
Speaker 2: called the Great Wheel, and Annie was not invited, even
Speaker 2: though it's only two blocks from her office.
Speaker 9: I can see it out the window of my office.
Speaker 2: But then there was the night they said they were
Speaker 2: eating dinner too far away for Annie to join, when
Speaker 2: it turned out that really they were all eating right
Speaker 2: around the corner at the Space Needle. But the final straw,
Speaker 2: the incident that made Annie write into the show, occurred
Speaker 2: last summer.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 2: Annie's mom was visiting Tim in Utah. One morning, Annie
Speaker 2: called her mom to chat.
Speaker 8: And she's, oh, oh, yeah, no, we're all at breakfast
Speaker 8: And I was like, oh, that's fun.
Speaker 2: Are you guys at Maddox Maddox being a restaurant in Utah.
Speaker 2: Annie's mom didn't answer. Instead, she put Annie on speakerphone
Speaker 2: so Annie could chat with her cousin Tyler, And I
Speaker 2: was like.
Speaker 9: Oh, you guys at Maddocks, What are you guys doing?
Speaker 9: And He's like, no, we came.
Speaker 2: Here here being not Utah, here being Seattle. It turned
Speaker 2: out the whole family had flung back to Seattle together
Speaker 2: the day before, and no one had told Annie.
Speaker 8: I said, what now, I said, we're here, We're at
Speaker 8: We're with your mom. I'm on her phone. We're at
Speaker 8: Patty's Egg's Nest. In the background, I hear my mom
Speaker 8: tell her we call her back.
Speaker 2: We're eating.
Speaker 8: I am like twelve minutes away from these people. I
Speaker 8: was even like more offended, more hurt that it was breakfast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I completely understand that.
Speaker 8: And I totally listen. I think I blacked out. I
Speaker 8: don't know what happened, but something inside me snapped.
Speaker 4: I was so.
Speaker 8: Mad that I said, listen, you tell her that if
Speaker 8: you are indeed out at breakfast at the Patty's Eggs Nest,
Speaker 8: do not bother calling me back.
Speaker 9: And I hung up.
Speaker 2: When she gets angry like this, Annie's family dismisses her
Speaker 2: as just being dramatic, which makes Annie even angrier. After
Speaker 2: this breakfast situation, I had an absolute temper tantrum on Facebook.
Speaker 2: What did you say?
Speaker 8: Oh God, I'm cringing because this is what I did.
Speaker 8: I make a post that says, PSA, uh, if you
Speaker 8: are at a gathering with family and not all your
Speaker 8: family in the area has been invited.
Speaker 9: You are an asshole. I can see that.
Speaker 8: When I'm hurt like this, like just so deeply that
Speaker 8: it really manifest is anger.
Speaker 2: I never allow myself luxury of that kind of anger.
Speaker 2: I've had family vacations planned with no consideration for my schedule,
Speaker 2: a family portrait taken without me, And while I'm genuinely
Speaker 2: hurt by these things, I'd never make a scene. So
Speaker 2: I admire the way Annie is so willing to call
Speaker 2: people out, no matter how great the consequences. In the
Speaker 2: days following the breakfast incident, a new thought dawned on Annie.
Speaker 2: Maybe she wasn't being excluded accidentally. Maybe Tim and the
Speaker 2: family just didn't want her around. And now Annie wants
Speaker 2: to know why don't they want her around?
Speaker 9: I just want to know what it is.
Speaker 2: Do you have any like theories about what?
Speaker 8: I have a million theories a million You know, I
Speaker 8: was raised Mormon, I'm not Mormon anymore. I got pregnant
Speaker 8: with my daughter at seventeen years old. I am gay,
Speaker 8: and I am loud, and and I.
Speaker 9: Say off the cuff and out of pocket shit.
Speaker 2: Have you ever asked some point blank, like what's going on?
Speaker 8: No, I haven't asked them directly. I mean, and now
Speaker 8: we're at a point where I haven't talked to them
Speaker 8: at all, and I can't talk about this without it just.
Speaker 9: Blowing up, and so it just doesn't get anywhere, you know,
Speaker 9: no resolution.
Speaker 2: This is where I come in.
Speaker 8: I think I think it would help having somebody else
Speaker 8: ask why for.
Speaker 2: All her bluster, Annie's anger hasn't led to anything constructive.
Speaker 2: So all the old host of this program thinks Annie
Speaker 2: has all these lessons to teach me, Maybe I have
Speaker 2: lessons to teach her too. So maybe like a combination
Speaker 2: of your directness and my extreme head giness together would
Speaker 2: form a reasonable person who could find something out, I think.
Speaker 2: So Annie tells me that no one in her family
Speaker 2: knows she's contacted heavyweight about this, and so you're gonna
Speaker 2: have to cold call. I hate cold calling, but what
Speaker 2: I do not hate is advertisements. So brand is your
Speaker 2: toilet plunger, because here comes a crap ton of savings
Speaker 2: about to overflow the toilet onto the toilet floor of
Speaker 2: your bank account. Jonathan made me say that I start
Speaker 2: my cold calls with Annie's mom Angie. Annie's mom is
Speaker 2: the person Tim always reaches out to when he's in Seattle.
Speaker 2: In all of Annie's stories about being left out, her
Speaker 2: mom Angie is a key player.
Speaker 10: For me.
Speaker 2: A cold call is a terrible trap of anxiety and dread.
Speaker 2: As the phone rings, I pray it will go to voicemail. Hello,
Speaker 2: it does not go to voicemail. So to convey we're
Speaker 2: all pals here and you shouldn't yell at me, I
Speaker 2: raise my voice several octaves. Hi is this Angie?
Speaker 6: Yes it is.
Speaker 2: I try to put Angie at her ease, explaining how
Speaker 2: I work on this podcast about helping people, and it's
Speaker 2: usually hosted by this guy, Jonathan. But Jonathan handed me
Speaker 2: Annie's case because he thinks it's high time I learned
Speaker 2: a good lesson about personal resilience or something, possibly the
Speaker 2: value of a dollar. Finally, much to my relief, Angie
Speaker 2: cuts me off.
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, Well, do you want to hear my side
Speaker 6: of the story? You're not really your yes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, please?
Speaker 6: Okay.
Speaker 2: So to Angie, this whole breakfast blow up was, to
Speaker 2: quote Billy Shakespeare, much ado about nothing. She explained that,
Speaker 2: to quote Billy Joel, she didn't start this fire. Tim
Speaker 2: was going on a cruise that sailed from Seattle, and
Speaker 2: so he and his family spent one night at Angie's
Speaker 2: house so she could drive them to the dock in
Speaker 2: the morning.
Speaker 6: You know, this is a mad dash rush to get
Speaker 6: them to the cruise ship. It wasn't like we had
Speaker 6: planned a breakfast we had decided that morning. Are we
Speaker 6: gonna go grab something at Jack in the Box or
Speaker 6: do we have time to go to the restaurant?
Speaker 2: In her telling like she didn't even know that the
Speaker 2: family was stopping in Seattle.
Speaker 6: Oh yes she did, yes, Oh yeah, Okay, then there
Speaker 6: was another incident while we were all in Seattle.
Speaker 2: One by one, Angie refutes each of Annie's stories of exclusion,
Speaker 2: and hearing Angie's take on the whole thing, it does
Speaker 2: all sound like a big overreaction. It makes me wonder
Speaker 2: whether Annie, to quote Billy Eilish, is the bad guy.
Speaker 6: There's always drama surrounding Annie. She's really got in her
Speaker 6: mind that we just are totally cutting her out, when
Speaker 6: from my perspective, we're not cutting her out.
Speaker 2: After getting off the phone, I don't know whether to
Speaker 2: believe what Annie said or what Annie said, I would
Speaker 2: need some sort of tiebreaker. I'd need to hear from
Speaker 2: more family. So to turn this she said, she said
Speaker 2: into what she said she said? She said? She said,
Speaker 2: I call Annie's daughter Savannah.
Speaker 11: I'm at work, but I'm totally free right now. But
Speaker 11: if someone comes in only to.
Speaker 2: Take care of them and Annie's sister Jamie.
Speaker 5: Dealing with my own drama over here, my fiance of
Speaker 5: nine and a half years.
Speaker 6: Has moved out.
Speaker 2: Oh god, I'm sorry to hear that.
Speaker 5: Well, I'm not.
Speaker 2: My sister's drama. Everyone in Nannie's family speaks of a
Speaker 2: similar affect. Talking to them feels a bit like watching
Speaker 2: one of those movies where Jim Carrey plays eight roles.
Speaker 2: I asked, Savannah, is this happening or not? Is any
Speaker 2: being excluded from plans with Tim?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Definitely. I asked Jamie the same question.
Speaker 5: They come out a lot and they don't invite her.
Speaker 2: Are you getting invited to this stuff?
Speaker 5: Nope, not even a little bit.
Speaker 2: Do you? Does it bother you?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 11: I do not care. I definitely have one of those
Speaker 11: personalities that if if someone doesn't want to involve me,
Speaker 11: I'm just kind of like, okay, don't with the door
Speaker 11: hit you or the good Lord split yet, but my
Speaker 11: mom kind of gets like, hey, wait, but but why not?
Speaker 11: Why why don't you want to hang.
Speaker 6: Out with me?
Speaker 11: Or like what what's going on? Hold on, have a
Speaker 11: good one.
Speaker 2: Where do you work? By the way, Seattle sun tan
Speaker 2: Oh it's it like a tanning place. Yes, it's Seattle
Speaker 2: Suntana tanning place. I can't. I believe this family's happiness
Speaker 2: rests in my hands. As for Jamie, she says she's
Speaker 2: too busy for any additional plans.
Speaker 5: Somebody called me and said, hey, you want to go
Speaker 5: to great well, I'd be like, no, not to day,
Speaker 5: definitely not tomorrow. It's like I'm chasing kids through hockey games.
Speaker 5: I want to be and have been that mom who
Speaker 5: has been to every hockey game, and me and other moms,
Speaker 5: we will tell you like, there's no family like hockey family.
Speaker 2: But unfortunately for Annie, she doesn't have a hockey family.
Speaker 2: She's stuck with just a boring, old family family. Her
Speaker 2: siblings have spouses, little kids, whole sports teams of community.
Speaker 2: Annie's a single mom. Her daughter is twenty now, already
Speaker 2: out of the house and forging her own life. One
Speaker 2: of the few people Annie's always had to turn to
Speaker 2: is Tim, and now it feels like she doesn't even
Speaker 2: have him. Baseball season is starting soon, and Tim always
Speaker 2: visits Seattle to see the Mariners play. So I decide
Speaker 2: I'll fight to Seattle at the same time, coordinate a plan.
Speaker 2: Annie is a part of I mean, the whole gang
Speaker 2: can get together for a nice breakfast at Patty's Egg's
Speaker 2: Nest where I can order a Fortata with hash Browns
Speaker 2: and an English muffin. I just have to coordinate the
Speaker 2: timing with Annie and book my plane.
Speaker 8: Ticket right travel plan.
Speaker 2: I'm a little paranoid. I'm like gonna get stuck there
Speaker 2: with all this virus stuff going on. Oh ho ho,
Speaker 2: this virus stuff. That conversation was recorded at the end
Speaker 2: of February twenty twenty. A month and a half later,
Speaker 2: and I've purchased an office chair for my bedroom, hoarded
Speaker 2: cant goods and toilet paper, texted all my contacts how
Speaker 2: are you holding up? Learned what zoom is, started having
Speaker 2: my groceries delivered, stopped doing laundry, cried in every room
Speaker 2: of my apartment, and finally, I, along with everyone else,
Speaker 2: I'm realizing this is not going to go away. In
Speaker 2: a week or a month or even a year, and
Speaker 2: in the meantime we have to continue to exist, and
Speaker 2: part of existing is sorting through the important issues like
Speaker 2: why you weren't invited to breakfast at Patty's Egg's Nest.
Speaker 2: And so I email Annie and ask for her uncle's
Speaker 2: phone number. It's time to go directly to the source
Speaker 2: of her troubles. I figure if I call Tim alone
Speaker 2: without Annie on the line, to blow up at him,
Speaker 2: I can get him to speak candidly about why he
Speaker 2: hasn't been including Annie. Annie sends me the number and
Speaker 2: says that Tim is hard of hearing, so I might
Speaker 2: have to shout for a while. I do nothing. Every
Speaker 2: time I think about calling an elderly dairy farmer to
Speaker 2: yell at him, I feel sick. But as the weeks
Speaker 2: go by, not calling just makes me feel worse, and finally,
Speaker 2: when my anxiety reaches an absolute fever, pitch.
Speaker 4: Hello.
Speaker 2: Hi Is this Tim? Yes, Hi, this is I try
Speaker 2: to put Tim at his ease, explaining how I work
Speaker 2: on this podcast about helping people, and it's usually hosted
Speaker 2: by this guy, Jonathan. But Jonathan thinks it's high time
Speaker 2: I learned a good lesson about personal resilience, and as
Speaker 2: I bother on, I keep hoping Tim will cut me off,
Speaker 2: but he does not. Yeah. So, like, so, your niece
Speaker 2: Annie actually had reached out to us about some stuff
Speaker 2: sort of that's going on with your family. Do you
Speaker 2: have any idea what I'm referring to? Uh No, this
Speaker 2: whole incident with this breakfast. Do you remember this.
Speaker 4: Slightly?
Speaker 2: Whereas Annie has poured over the details a million times.
Speaker 2: All Tim remembers is that Annie got mad about something
Speaker 2: or other.
Speaker 7: Can you tell me what her perspective was what we
Speaker 7: did to her?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Sure, I mean, like I think from her perspective, Yeah,
Speaker 2: she just feels left out, Like she feels like there's
Speaker 2: sort of a pattern. Look at me explaining a problem
Speaker 2: head on instead of just nervously avoiding it and like
Speaker 2: to have you come to town and not tell her and
Speaker 2: make time to see her. I think she just like
Speaker 2: to her it does feel more personal.
Speaker 4: I love Annie to death.
Speaker 7: I mean, from the time Annie was a teenager, me
Speaker 7: and Annie we have got along really well.
Speaker 4: I hope she's ain't got something against me.
Speaker 7: I would never intentionally make any films bad ever, And
Speaker 7: I hate to hear that she's going over this still,
Speaker 7: I haven't talked to her for quite a while, and
Speaker 7: now I know I need to, so.
Speaker 2: In an effort to get the reconciliation train chugging along,
Speaker 2: I suggest to Tim that we turned to the thing
Speaker 2: so many of us have turned to in these difficult times.
Speaker 2: Let's do a zoom.
Speaker 4: I did try one of them zoom or whatever they are.
Speaker 7: Called meetings, and I did not like it a bit.
Speaker 4: I have trouble hearing.
Speaker 7: And the joke has been boy, I love to keep
Speaker 7: Uncle Tim on the phone more than five minutes, because
Speaker 7: I know he's going crazy just trying to hear. I
Speaker 7: hate electronics myself, but no, I'm going to give Anny.
Speaker 7: I'll call her and just talk to her, and if
Speaker 7: I can do anything else for you, I'll do anything
Speaker 7: for Annie.
Speaker 2: Time to sit back and wait for the Catharsist to
Speaker 2: roll in. The Only problem is it doesn't, not by
Speaker 2: a long shot. After speaking with Tim, I told Annie
Speaker 2: to expect his call, but for days she heard nothing.
Speaker 12: At first, I was kind of like, what the hell?
Speaker 12: I would have called my niece right away, and then
Speaker 12: I kind of, you know, I kind of circled back
Speaker 12: into like, oh, he must be really trying to come
Speaker 12: up with like a thoughtful response to me. You know,
Speaker 12: maybe he's just feeling really bad.
Speaker 2: And then Tim did call, Oh, he called my mother.
Speaker 2: After speaking to me, Tim reached out not to Annie
Speaker 2: but to Annie's mom, his middleman, Angie. Angie spoke with
Speaker 2: Tim the same way she did with me, contradicting Annie's
Speaker 2: timeline and basically reminding Tim of how dramatic Annie can be.
Speaker 2: And in Angie's telling, I'd become an extension of this drama. Apparently,
Speaker 2: Angie and Tim call me the podcast lady. I hope
Speaker 2: I'm not like making things worse by calling this.
Speaker 12: This is always how, this is what, this is what
Speaker 12: it is, and this is why I emailed in the beginning.
Speaker 2: I'm out of my depth. So I call up the
Speaker 2: person who got me into this mess to begin with, Hello, Jonathan.
Speaker 3: Hey, Hoggie wants to say, Hi, Hi.
Speaker 2: Agye, how are you good? Glad to hear what's up?
Speaker 10: Well?
Speaker 2: You know I'm doing that anything that you told me to.
Speaker 1: Do today's episode, right? Any mm hmm.
Speaker 2: I basically I thought things were going pretty well and
Speaker 2: now things are not going well. I explained the whole
Speaker 2: fiasco to Jonathan Mike called it Tim. Tim's called a
Speaker 2: angie my now being the podcast lady.
Speaker 3: So they see they see her contacting a podcast as
Speaker 3: kind of a dramatic flourish, right, right, So you're at
Speaker 3: that point where you feel like you're making things worse,
Speaker 3: not better. See, it's very familiar to me. It's it's
Speaker 3: always uh, there is always that risk. Sometimes it just
Speaker 3: takes time. I think that's the thing, Like that's the
Speaker 3: the money loser of our operation. I think it's just
Speaker 3: you can't rush these things. Do you call him Uncle
Speaker 3: Tim when you talk to Annie? No, well maybe that's
Speaker 3: the problem. You have to become embedded as one of
Speaker 3: the family, and a part of that is referring to
Speaker 3: him as uncle Tim.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 1: John, you see too much go game. Did you know
Speaker 1: that John Stewart's middle name was Stuart? Is that his
Speaker 1: real last name is Leeboys?
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, but this is great. I mean this is
Speaker 3: great for me. It's like I'm on holiday. I've put
Speaker 3: a pin in this whole cat's in the cradle situation.
Speaker 3: I'm spending much more time with Ougi and it's just
Speaker 3: been it's been fabulous. Aggy I think you should maybe
Speaker 3: put that down, Honey, that's not a toy. He's holding
Speaker 3: a big mallet.
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, I hope.
Speaker 2: So does this help? So you're saying, give it a
Speaker 2: few days to play.
Speaker 1: Out, Yeah, give it, give it a few days.
Speaker 2: I give it a few days, then a few more days,
Speaker 2: then a few more, then a few weeks. Just to
Speaker 2: be safe. I talked to your uncle a month ago. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he said he was gonna call you and nothing. Jonathan
Speaker 2: told me to give it time. The time has gotten
Speaker 2: me nowhere. So I gear myself up to be the
Speaker 2: pushiest I've ever been in my life, and the sweatiest
Speaker 2: and the highest pitched.
Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 2: Tim, Yes, Hi, this is Khalila who's recording with a
Speaker 2: podcast with Annie. Do you remember me?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just had been checking in with Annie and
Speaker 2: she said that she hadn't.
Speaker 4: She hasn't heard from me.
Speaker 2: Do you want to just try calling her together? Right now?
Speaker 4: Actually?
Speaker 7: I am actually I am just walking out the.
Speaker 4: Door to go to work.
Speaker 2: Okay. It doesn't have to be today either, Like so,
Speaker 2: I'm open to whatever is best for you. If there's
Speaker 2: another day that's better, well, uh, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I can't.
Speaker 7: I haven't thought about that right now. So actually I'm
Speaker 7: in a real hurry right now.
Speaker 2: So and Tim's supposed to be a Mariners fan more
Speaker 2: like a Dodgers fan. Am I right?
Speaker 3: Am?
Speaker 2: I right? Two weeks later, I checked back in with Danny.
Speaker 2: You didn't happen to hear from your uncles to do you? No? No,
Speaker 2: he didn't call. No, it's not going to happen. Having
Speaker 2: spoken with Tim, I'm not exactly feeling like a ray
Speaker 2: of optimism myself. But while Annie is one hundred percent
Speaker 2: certain Tim has written her off, I'm only ninety seven
Speaker 2: percent certain. I don't want her to slam the door
Speaker 2: just yet. It's gonna happen.
Speaker 8: Yeah, right, if it's gonna get off the ground, I mean,
Speaker 8: it's definitely gonna have to be as But that's okay.
Speaker 2: It's not okay to me, And I don't think it's
Speaker 2: really okay to Annie. If Annie's the one to reach out,
Speaker 2: she'll just be playing into the same dynamic as always,
Speaker 2: showing up at the table and begging for scraps. So
Speaker 2: I encourage Annie to just wait. But a week goes by,
Speaker 2: and another and then another, and I start to feel
Speaker 2: like Annie was right her uncle will never.
Speaker 7: Call Annie trying to get a hold of you.
Speaker 4: Call me.
Speaker 8: I didn't hear my phone ring or anything. And then weirdly,
Speaker 8: it just came through on my watch that had this
Speaker 8: voicemail from uncle Tim, and I was like, my heart
Speaker 8: just went boom.
Speaker 2: Annie had been with friends watching the movie Burlesque when finally,
Speaker 2: out of the blue, Tim called. Amidst the excitement of
Speaker 2: Chaer yelling at Christina Aguilera to make the stage her own.
Speaker 2: One of Annie's friends asked her what was up. I
Speaker 2: was like, no, it's just my uncle.
Speaker 8: And my one friend goes the one that doesn't talk
Speaker 8: to you, and I was like, yeah, well, I guess
Speaker 8: he is trying to talk to me. And I've spent
Speaker 8: this whole time like thinking that I'm not really like
Speaker 8: worth a call. So I was glad to know that
Speaker 8: he had called, and so then when I heard his voice,
Speaker 8: I was like kind of emotional because I haven't like
Speaker 8: talked to him in so long.
Speaker 2: At this point, it's been almost a year since Annie
Speaker 2: and her uncle last spoke. We decide Sunday is the
Speaker 2: day that's when we'll call Tim back, but then Annie
Speaker 2: pushes it to Monday. I'm really nervous, she tells me.
Speaker 2: On Monday, she cancels last minute. Annie's now feeling something
Speaker 2: different than she's used to. It's not anger, something she
Speaker 2: can yell her way through. Instead, Annie's feeling vulnerable, and
Speaker 2: that's scarier. I finally get her to commit to Tuesday.
Speaker 2: Tuesday will be a better day anyway, Annie says, because
Speaker 2: Tuesday is Tim's birthday. To me, a birthday is a
Speaker 2: worse day. Instead of gifting the poor man a nice
Speaker 2: pair of socks or something, Annie's going to usher the
Speaker 2: podcast lady on stage like an unwanted birthday clown. Nevertheless,
Speaker 2: on Uncle Tim's birthday, I procure a for Tata. I
Speaker 2: tell Annie to get a breakfast too. We can all
Speaker 2: eat on the call and pretend to be at Patty's
Speaker 2: Eggs Nest together. But when I get on the line
Speaker 2: with Annie, her Fortata plate is for tatalus.
Speaker 8: I have not even eaten like today. I'm totally freaking out.
Speaker 8: I cannot believe I'm doing this. Okay, I'm ready, Shall
Speaker 8: we do it?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 10: Wait?
Speaker 1: Okay go Hello Hi Uncle Tim?
Speaker 4: Hello, how are.
Speaker 2: You happy birthday?
Speaker 4: Well? Thank you?
Speaker 2: Khalila is on this call too, Hi, Hi, Tim.
Speaker 4: What did you just say?
Speaker 2: I said, Khalila's on this call too. Hi, It's a okay.
Speaker 2: I just want to talk to you.
Speaker 1: If that's okay, that's that's fine.
Speaker 2: I feel like.
Speaker 8: Sometimes like I feel like I'm genuinely like her and
Speaker 8: upset about sometimes when everyone's getting together and I feel
Speaker 8: kind of left out or like an afterthought when everyone
Speaker 8: is like going out. But I just wanted to tell
Speaker 8: you about it because I feel like there's maybe like
Speaker 8: two people on the planet that like really get me,
Speaker 8: and like I feel like you're my person, especially after
Speaker 8: my dad died. You were like basically a father to me,
Speaker 8: and I always even even like I always wanted you
Speaker 8: to be my dad because I love you so much.
Speaker 2: So that's why I feel like when I'm not included.
Speaker 8: I know that I'm rambling, but I feel like when
Speaker 8: I'm just not included sometimes it just like I do
Speaker 8: feel sad.
Speaker 7: Well, it was an intentional and I hope it never
Speaker 7: happens again.
Speaker 4: So anyway, Tim.
Speaker 2: Wants to sweep the mess of Annie's feelings under the rug,
Speaker 2: but before he just moves on, I raised the question
Speaker 2: and he brought to me in the first place. Annie,
Speaker 2: can I ask too, Like it seems like part of
Speaker 2: it was that you were afraid that it was something
Speaker 2: about your personality. Yeah.
Speaker 8: I have felt like that, like if people don't want
Speaker 8: me around because I'm too loud, or it's like there's
Speaker 8: something about me that people are like offended by.
Speaker 7: Oh, I can tell you if you're not like pissed
Speaker 7: at somebody, we all know you're the funnest to be around, right,
Speaker 7: but when you get like you're like mad at somebody,
Speaker 7: it's not like the sweetest to be around.
Speaker 2: Then all that clattering is coming from Annie's side of
Speaker 2: the call. She started pacing around, organizing her toilet trace.
Speaker 2: She's agitated by what Tim is saying. Annie's willing to
Speaker 2: call people out no matter the consequences. But there are consequences.
Speaker 2: It seems Tim's distance has nothing to do with Annie's
Speaker 2: being gay, or not being Mormon or having been a
Speaker 2: teen mom. It might simply be that generally people just
Speaker 2: want to eat their eggs in peace and pretend like
Speaker 2: everything's fine. But even though Tim's criticism hurts, Annie doesn't
Speaker 2: do what she usually does. She doesn't unleash her anger.
Speaker 8: I do feel really bad about the I think that
Speaker 8: when everybody was at breakfast. I was just shocked and
Speaker 8: I used to right up flipped out. I was so
Speaker 8: upset and so like, you know, I'm sorry that I
Speaker 8: obviously didn't handle it very well. I've am in a
Speaker 8: better place. And if we're being honest, medicated and so wait,
Speaker 8: I know I'm not perfect, That's that's all.
Speaker 2: And yeah, Tim stays quiet for a moment, and when
Speaker 2: he speaks, it's not to Annie but to me. Much
Speaker 2: as he might resent my presence, Tim like always chooses
Speaker 2: to go through a middleman.
Speaker 7: Well, and as far as Annie goes, she's just always
Speaker 7: been special to me.
Speaker 4: The first time she's.
Speaker 7: Going to get married, that's going to give her away,
Speaker 7: you know, I says, yeah, I'll buy me a new suit.
Speaker 7: I'll do anything for you, and anyway, and then he
Speaker 7: was cheating on her or something. A few years later,
Speaker 7: she says, you're going to give me away, and I says,
Speaker 7: you bet, And she says, well, does it matter if
Speaker 7: I'm marrying a girl? And I says, Annie, if boys
Speaker 7: don't work, girls are fine for me.
Speaker 4: I'll do anything for you. And I feel like she's
Speaker 4: my daughter.
Speaker 7: I've loved Annie since she's just a little girl, and
Speaker 7: we've always just connected, my little dippy girl. I mean
Speaker 7: I've I've laid for hours on Annie's bed and just
Speaker 7: you know, and hell there.
Speaker 4: And we could talk about anything or not say anything.
Speaker 4: I've never thought bad of Annie.
Speaker 2: Then suddenly, mid sentence, Tim addresses Annie directly.
Speaker 4: I've never thought of leaving you out. I know if
Speaker 4: you feel bad, that it.
Speaker 7: If you're feeling bad, especially when I'm talking to you,
Speaker 7: it really makes me feel bad.
Speaker 4: So I know.
Speaker 2: I just I love you Tim a lot.
Speaker 8: Definitely missed hearing your voice, and I feel like we
Speaker 8: haven't talked in so long, and so it got to.
Speaker 7: Make more effort to even talk like this because it
Speaker 7: is nice to hear your voice too.
Speaker 2: Well, that makes me better. It's not a break, it's
Speaker 2: invitation a baseball game or even a zoom. But despite
Speaker 2: the fact that Tim hates being on the phone for
Speaker 2: more than five minutes, he's still here talking.
Speaker 8: I think this is the longest I've talked to you
Speaker 8: over the phone.
Speaker 4: I wish I'd give you a big squeeze right now,
Speaker 4: me too.
Speaker 8: Maybe next time that you guys come down, we'll just
Speaker 8: plan something just for me and you to do.
Speaker 4: Yes, we will. I love you.
Speaker 2: I love you too. Thank you for talking to me.
Speaker 4: I will talk to you anytime. You know that. Love
Speaker 4: you Annie, love you.
Speaker 10: See ye bye bye.
Speaker 2: We did it, We did it. I'm disappointed. And now
Speaker 2: there's a pandemic and we can't go to Patty's Eggs,
Speaker 2: which I really wanted to go out.
Speaker 8: Right as they like play us out, silver ware clinking
Speaker 8: around in the background.
Speaker 2: Yeah I can hear it now.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I just park in the grass. Oh no, I'm
Speaker 8: moving on.
Speaker 2: My date's here. All right, you got a lot going on.
Speaker 2: I won't keep you. Thank you for everything. I'll talk
Speaker 2: to you later. All right, talk to you later. And
Speaker 2: with that, I settled down at my desk alone to
Speaker 2: finish eating my fritata, a fritata delivered to my apartment
Speaker 2: cold and in a coffee soaked bag. But rather than
Speaker 2: kick up a fuss, I thank the delivery man profusely
Speaker 2: and tipped him generously. Like all of us, he's probably
Speaker 2: just doing his best, just enjoying my breakfast. Now that the.
Speaker 9: Fern ures Riff turned into its.
Speaker 10: Goodwill home, now that the last month's raft is scheming.
Speaker 2: With the damage to pos, take this moment to dissolve,
Speaker 2: if we message, if we talked.
Speaker 1: Around for far too, Thanks Good Accid.
Speaker 2: This episode of Heavyweight was produced by me Khalila Holt
Speaker 2: along with Stevie Lane, An Armchair Colonel Jonathan Goldstein. Special
Speaker 2: thanks to Emily Condon, Alex Bloomberg, Matilda Fellino, Nea Bloomfield,
Speaker 2: I'm a Monger, Zach Schmidt, Sam Riceman, and Jackie Cohen.
Speaker 2: Bobby Lord mixed the episode with original music by Christine Fellows,
Speaker 2: John K. Sampson, and Bobby Lord. Additional music credits can
Speaker 2: be found on our website, gimlipmedia dot com slash Heavyweight.
Speaker 2: Our theme song is by the Weaker Bands, courtesy of
Speaker 2: Epitaph Records. Follow us on Twitter at Heavyweight or email
Speaker 2: us at Heavyweight at gimlipmedia dot com. We'll have a
Speaker 2: new episode next week