WEBVTT - How Prison CHANGED My Brother In Law 0:00:11.440 --> 0:00:13.200 Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you guys for being 0:00:13.200 --> 0:00:20.439 here for a very rare time. We have two guests 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:24.760 and both of them are my relatives. Do I tell 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:25.560 you as a relative? 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:27.920 I mean I technically am your immediate family. 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:29.240 Now that's a relative. 0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:32.680 I guess she's pretty relative relative. 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:35.240 Okay, I got my wife and then I got Amber's brother, 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:39.720 my brother in law, Colin, and so we're gonna answer 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:41.519 your questions. That's what we do on this podcast. You 0:00:41.560 --> 0:00:45.080 email me podcast at grangersmith dot com and man puts 0:00:45.120 --> 0:00:48.440 them together, we walk through them, and I plan on 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:51.760 doing that, and I also plan on uh straying a 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:54.760 little bit from that pattern because we have the opportunity 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:57.680 to have Callin, which I think is going to be 0:00:57.720 --> 0:01:02.400 a fantastic guest here and a really good resource in 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:07.120 answering some of these questions. And probably that's just good 0:01:07.200 --> 0:01:09.760 because I love you and you're one of my best friends, 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:14.360 but also because you've also you have unique life experience 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:18.319 that I don't have. Everyone brings to the table something 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:22.720 not this table, but everyone, everyone listening brings some kind 0:01:22.760 --> 0:01:26.400 of unique life experience to the table that I cannot 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:29.920 relate to, and you can't relate to mine. But because 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:33.280 it's all relative, we can come at questions as we 0:01:33.319 --> 0:01:37.000 hear them with a little bit different perspective, and I 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:39.040 think that's important. In all three of us will be 0:01:39.080 --> 0:01:43.520 also be coming from a biblical perspective. So as long 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:47.080 as we have that, then the different ways that life 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:49.840 has come at us US three I think will be 0:01:49.920 --> 0:01:56.560 unique in answering. And Colin is It's such an interesting 0:01:57.120 --> 0:02:00.680 guest to have because as long as I've done this 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:05.720 podcast since twenty seventeen, many of those years you would 0:02:05.720 --> 0:02:10.360 have been like some of the toughest questions in this podcast, 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:13.720 and you would have been one of the ones that 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:15.560 if I would have read, if you would have written 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:20.399 in here, for instance, two years ago, no five years ago, 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:24.160 we'll say, and I would have read it, this would 0:02:24.160 --> 0:02:26.960 have been one of the questions where people go, oh, man, 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:29.320 that's going to be a long road for that guy. 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:32.800 That's going to be tough for that guy to come 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:35.280 out of this being Okay. 0:02:35.960 --> 0:02:36.720 Yeah, I agree. 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:40.720 When I met you, you were roommates with this girl 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:44.960 that I was kind of dating, courting, And the first 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:48.880 time I visited you, you were the roommate and I 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:52.160 met you, which is sort of intimidating because you're, you know, 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:56.080 like six ten and three hundred and fifty pounds. Yeah, no, 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:58.200 not really. What are you like six ' five six 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:00.720 y four sixty four? You an extra engine. 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:02.280 I appreciate that. I should have taken it. 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:07.080 I should have just rolled. But we got along instantly 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:11.120 because you're everyone likes you. You're You're always fun to 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:14.880 be around. You're always the life of the party. So 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:17.960 we You had a girlfriend at the time, and I 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:20.280 started dating Amber, so we were it was like an 0:03:20.320 --> 0:03:22.839 easy instant double date. We did a lot of things 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:26.440 together in those early years, and you being the life 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:30.119 of the party was also part of your problem, which 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:33.240 I didn't realize at the time. But the part that 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:36.720 was so likable about you was the part that the 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:42.640 world abused and you partook. Is that a word you 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:46.200 partook in it in the abuse that the world is like, Hey, 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:50.560 let's bring this guy in, you know, let's invite this guy. 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:51.040 Yeah. 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:55.200 So, I honestly don't know where to start, besides the 0:03:55.240 --> 0:04:02.760 fact that your life is completely different now coming out 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:08.280 of addiction. Probably you could say multiple types of addiction, 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:19.880 and there is multiple casualties in the fallout of that. 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:25.400 In the form of different children, different mamas, like so 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:29.400 many of these questions, like you know. But the reason it's, 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:31.880 like I said, it's so fascinating is because here you 0:04:31.920 --> 0:04:36.880 are sitting in a really good place. And that's what 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:39.000 makes it different is I could I could read all 0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:41.240 these questions all day long, and then I got sitting 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:43.440 at the end of this table right now a dude 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:46.880 that's lived it and now could speak back to it 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:50.120 and go, I know, man, I was there, I was there. 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:53.480 Here's where I am. Now where do I start amber 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:55.600 with this? Well? I was just going to say, you 0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:57.880 could do a mean so vagrant now. 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:01.760 Quick give call in a quick minute or so, just 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:03.680 to do like where were you five years ago? 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:04.560 And then where are you now? 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:05.280 I can't do that. 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:08.720 No, that's the worst question ever for country music stars. 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:12.320 So for those of you that don't know Granger, tell 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:14.039 us a little b about yourself. I can't do that. 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:16.039 Hey, yeah, So I was trying to have him do 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:20.039 like a quick gist of why where was he and 0:05:20.040 --> 0:05:21.480 where is he now? But I don't know that might 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:23.360 even be hard for him to sum up in five years. 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:28.679 Well, I could probably just kind of give the short 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:31.560 answer here is There's only one way out of where 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:33.920 I was, and that's you know, through God. That's it. 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:35.840 That's the only way that I was to get out 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:41.520 of there alive. And I just had to basically get 0:05:41.520 --> 0:05:45.880 on my knees and just give up totally and figure 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:49.400 out that the absolute only way for me to come 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:52.680 out of this hell is through Jesus Christ. And once 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:57.640 I finally just gave up, surrendered, fully surrendered, because I've 0:05:57.640 --> 0:05:59.640 tried to do it my way, and I've tried to say, yeah, 0:05:59.839 --> 0:06:02.719 I'll I'll surrender butt or I'll do these things. But 0:06:03.760 --> 0:06:06.719 once I fully just let go. And I know it's cliche, 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:11.120 but let go and let God. It was it was everything. 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:16.719 I felt a change immediately internally. It wasn't necessarily a 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:18.840 burning bush, but that was my burning bush. It was. 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:23.560 It was just a just a it's unexplainable just how 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:26.320 how different my mindset was, how different. I picked up 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:29.800 the phone for the first time and asked for help. 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:31.359 It was the only time I've ever picked up a 0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:33.800 phone and said I need you now, I need you, 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:34.520 I need it. 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:35.120 Where were you? 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:38.280 I was in a hotel off of Alta, Mesa, and 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:45.000 I thirty five on January first of twenty and twenty two, Yeah, 0:06:45.160 --> 0:06:51.159 twenty and twenty two, and I had been gone for 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:55.760 I think, I think at this point eight days from 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:57.640 my wife and my home and my job. I was 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:00.800 in the work truck, wasn't answer my phone, wasn't getting 0:07:00.800 --> 0:07:05.680 a hold of anybody, in a hotel, a place I 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:08.159 shouldn't have been, with people I shouldn't have been with, 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:11.080 with things I shouldn't have had. And I remember it 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:13.840 was like two degrees and I had locked my keys 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:18.040 in my truck. And that had to happen, because if 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:20.000 I'd hadn't to locked my keys in my truck, I 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:22.240 wouldn't be sitting in this chair right here today. I 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:25.160 locked my keys in my truck and I gave up. 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:27.920 I got back in the hotel. It was so cold. 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:29.720 I'll never forget the day. I got on my knees 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:33.120 and I begged God. I said, get me out of this, 0:07:33.280 --> 0:07:35.679 get me out of this. And I called my wife. 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:37.960 I called Shane, and I said, hey, come get me. 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:40.400 I need it, I need help. And she came. I 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:42.280 mean she didn't hesitate. 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:43.520 Then what happened. 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:50.240 We went to a meeting, an AA meeting, And I'll 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:53.360 backtrack a little bit. I was fighting a charge that 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:56.400 was a couple of detectives I'd called my wife and 0:07:56.440 --> 0:07:58.640 my mom and were asking to find me. And I 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:00.400 was fighting a charge that I was going to court 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:02.760 for in March of the same year of twenty twenty, 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:04.760 and I was facing a lot of time in prison, 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:09.000 and I was scared. I mean to short, long story short, 0:08:09.040 --> 0:08:10.320 I was scared. I didn't want to go to prison. 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:12.400 I'd been to prison before. They were trying to give 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:13.560 me a lot of time, so I know that I 0:08:13.680 --> 0:08:16.120 wasn't just going to a state jail. I was actually 0:08:16.120 --> 0:08:19.720 going to a big boy prison, and so I was scared. 0:08:19.760 --> 0:08:24.440 But we went to a meeting and we started getting 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:26.640 things together for the court date, which was in March. 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:30.040 So March thirteenth, I got sentenced to five years and 0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:34.640 I'll never forget man Shanea's face that day. She was 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:39.280 crushed because we honestly thought that there was a chance 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:39.840 for probation. 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:43.720 But the Joe or the charges for everybody to know. 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:46.880 So forger Eva financial instrument was one of the charges. 0:08:46.920 --> 0:08:50.520 Credit check hot checks basically yes, And this was not 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:53.960 my first time with these checks. I had been caught 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:57.319 in twenty eighteen for the same charge with a credit 0:08:57.360 --> 0:09:00.840 card abuse charge of using well I had a credit 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:02.640 card in my wallet, it wasn't mine. So when I 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:05.560 got arrested for the check that was that I tried 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:08.640 to cash, they found the credit card I got. That 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:11.520 was the first time I went to prison. Between those times, 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:15.280 I had a possession under a Graham charge of controlled 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:19.800 substance I was. I was addicted to meth methamphetamines and 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:22.839 have been or had been for years prior to that. 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:27.719 In and out of rehabs. Seven impatient rehabs. I think 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:33.319 it is total. I think I've completed five of them. 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:38.560 In and out of jail. For petty crimes, theft, burglar 0:09:38.679 --> 0:09:42.880 of a habitat. I got arrested in Minnesota for burglar 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:44.959 of a habitat. I went up there. I was out 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:46.720 of my mind. I don't even remember much of it, 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:49.920 but I had taken a passport. I stole a truck 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:52.000 up there. Thought I was going to go to Canada 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:55.280 during COVID. I mean, honestly, what are you really thinking, like, 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:57.800 trying to get across the border COVID with a fake 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:00.520 passport just out of my mind. 0:10:00.559 --> 0:10:03.120 I don't think I knew that you did. 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:05.280 It's just it was a big mess. 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:05.960 Yeah. 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:07.720 What I was I was thinking about when you were 0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:10.680 saying that was for so many years, we tried to 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:12.560 save you, We tried to get you into red, we 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:14.559 tried to do all this stuff, and finally you had 0:10:14.600 --> 0:10:16.839 to realize you had to be the one to call, 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:18.680 make the call and say I need help. 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:20.480 Yeah, because the times that I did go to rehab, 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:24.679 I will I went to appease the masses basically, and 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:25.480 you're so likable. 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:27.120 Everybody loves you and they're like always great. 0:10:27.120 --> 0:10:29.800 It was a manipulation thing, and I was very good 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:33.040 at manipulation. That's probably why I work in sales today, 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:35.319 not saying that I'm a manipulator anymore, because there's a 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:38.800 fine line between good salesman. Yeah, and see that's one 0:10:38.800 --> 0:10:41.319 of my character defects. I have to know the line 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:45.880 of people pleasing and people pleasing, Like there's a manipulation 0:10:45.960 --> 0:10:48.480 aspect that can go either way with that. And but 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:52.800 I've I learned so much in the n A program, 0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:56.439 and it's it is for a lot of a lot 0:10:56.480 --> 0:11:00.240 of addicts, celebrate recoveries for a lot of addicts. There's 0:11:00.280 --> 0:11:02.840 different programs out there for a lot of addicts. But 0:11:02.880 --> 0:11:05.800 the thing that the only thing that worked for me, 0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:08.600 because those those programs worked for a time, but the 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:11.840 only thing that worked for me was getting out of 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:14.439 the way of God. Was getting out of the way 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:18.680 his will and realizing that a square peg doesn't fit 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:20.480 in a circle hole. So I got to quit trying 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:22.760 to do it my way. It doesn't work. It never 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:24.840 did work. How did you know that there was a way. 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:28.839 I didn't at the time. I just knew that there 0:11:28.920 --> 0:11:32.800 wasn't any other way. And I had never tried and 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:37.480 I had never tried that way. So it was it 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:41.960 was a I've tried everything else, you know, why not 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:45.000 type of thing. That was the mindset. But it was 0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:50.280 the the begging of just get this, just relieve me 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:54.360 of this, and and and there's so much that's wrapped 0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:57.200 into that of those questions that I begged God for. 0:11:57.640 --> 0:12:00.280 It was so much of relieve my cis you're in 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:02.280 my family of the mess that I'm putting them in. 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:04.320 Relieve my wife of the mess I'm putting her, And 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:08.840 relieve my kids of the abandonment that I that I created. 0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:12.080 My children's mother didn't take my kids from me. I 0:12:12.080 --> 0:12:15.000 I I don't want to say gave them away, But 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:16.800 I didn't do what I was supposed to do as 0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:19.120 a father at the time that I was supposed to 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:23.160 do it. And I realize that now, and back then 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:28.040 I had sour taste in my mouth towards my children's 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:32.480 mother and their stepfather because I was still a mess 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.240 in my own head and a mess in my own way. 0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:38.120 And now I can't thank them enough for how they've 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:41.440 raised those boys. And you know, I do get to 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.720 have my two younger boys in my life right now. 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.920 And God's working in my other two boys' lives. He is, 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:50.240 He's working in their lives, He's working in our lives, 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:53.120 and there's going to be some reuniting. It's I've got 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:56.520 no doubt in my mind, and it's it's it's such 0:12:56.559 --> 0:13:01.600 a it's such a blessing to realize that God is 0:13:01.679 --> 0:13:07.559 working and to see it behind the scenes without seeing it. 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:12.720 If that makes sense, is it makes me speaks man. 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:17.880 I preached on psalmone thirty last Sunday, and I was 0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:21.560 studying a little bit of Jonah in that message, because 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:25.160 the Psalmist is crying from out of the depths, and 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:29.000 we've all had these Jonah. Moments in our lives, all 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:33.760 of us have something and for you, you know, Jonah, 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.120 he runs from God. God has a will for his life. 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:38.600 He has a purpose for Jonah, and that's to go 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:42.040 to Nineveh and preach. And he runs from that because 0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:46.800 it's ninev is scary. And he gets on a boat 0:13:46.880 --> 0:13:52.280 and flees, and God causes this huge storm to hit 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:54.880 the boat, and everyone on the boat is freaking out. 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:57.640 They're like, this is awful. This is like the worst 0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:03.280 storm I've ever seen. And Jonah's like, guys, it's it's me, 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:07.600 Like I'm the reason for the storm. God's chasing me down. 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:13.000 He's mad at me, and and yeah, yeah, it's like 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:16.480 kind of what your story sounds like. Yeah, And so basically, 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:20.240 Jonah's like, just throw me off the boat. I mean, 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:22.520 we're all either we're all gonna die, this whole boat's 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:24.840 going to go down, or you guys, just throw me off. 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:28.720 And so they throw him off, and that's when the 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:31.720 fish takes them, you know, God takes them through the fish. 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:35.920 And then as I'm studying Forsalone thirty, it's interesting I 0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:40.200 noticed that Jonah doesn't in the text. Jonah doesn't speak 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:44.440 to God at all until he's in the belly, and 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:47.560 it's then it's from out of the depths. From then 0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:51.160 I'm in the deep. God, Please, where are you saved me? 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:54.360 And it's funny that he says that because God's he knows, 0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:57.120 God's been with him the whole time, just wreaking havoc 0:14:57.200 --> 0:15:01.240 on his life until he finally and everyone else on 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:03.160 the boat takes all the punishment for it. 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:05.880 See, And I think I can relate to that because 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:11.840 the twister that I created around my life, that had 0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:14.400 a thirty mile radius to everywhere I went, was just 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:18.880 God trying to say, man, stop, yeah, sit down, and 0:15:18.960 --> 0:15:21.080 it was hurting everybody around me because I wasn't seeing it. 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:23.800 I wouldn't being like Jonah just saying, hey, throw me 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:24.800 off the boat. 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:27.640 You know, well, we don't know how long he I mean, 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:29.360 this might have been days. We don't really know through 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:33.960 the text how long he fought it, right until finally 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:36.840 they were they were like, what's going on? It's me, guy, 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:40.480 it's me. We don't know how long. So you could 0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:43.200 easily have been just like Jonah. The problem is we 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:45.120 need to also read the backap of Jonah because then 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:47.200 he gets in his will like you are now and 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:51.280 hopefully I am. And then he gets to Nineveh, you know, 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:54.880 these heathens, and he preaches. He doesn't want to go 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:56.720 in there. He's so scared of the city, so scared 0:15:56.760 --> 0:16:00.240 of all these heathens. And he goes in there is 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:04.600 like repent, you know, turn back to God, and all 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:08.000 these heathens look at him and they're like, hey, you're right, 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:12.360 we should And then he gets mad. He's like, God 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:15.640 should punish these people, these heathens, And God goes, I 0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:17.440 told you to preach to him, and they turned to me. 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:20.280 Who are you now? Who are you to say I 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:23.560 should do what I need to do? Then Jonah's like 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:29.880 being Jonah again. Anyway, you have a wild story and 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:35.240 it's it's so interesting to hear that. And you and 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:38.160 I have talked about your prison experience. We sat around 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:40.520 the campfire last night, which is what this I always say, 0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:45.280 this podcast is about sitting around campfire talking. But you 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:48.080 you've told me many, so many stories about your prison experience. 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:50.600 And if you could paint that picture. Don't do it. 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:53.040 You don't need to. We don't have enough time. But 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:57.280 if you paint that picture perfectly for anyone listening, it 0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:00.520 should be enough for anyone to go Nope, don't do that. 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:02.480 Well, the first five minutes of it should be you. 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:08.399 Know, god, really it was h Yeah, can you find 0:17:08.520 --> 0:17:10.600 a point in your life? I know you've thought about 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:14.760 this endlessly? Have you? Have you seen the point where 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:18.560 you started to go off the rails? You said you 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.119 fought it for a long time. Where did the fighting start? 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:25.320 I think the actual off the rails aspect of it 0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:28.399 was probably avery point. 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:31.800 I think that was we were living together too too. 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:34.320 Yeah, I think that was the off the rails. I 0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:36.320 was selling drugs at the time. 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:39.080 I was. 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:44.200 Incapacitated, to say the least, every single day that we 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:48.679 that we lived there. And I think the seventeen and 0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:51.919 fifteen I began using I think thirteen or fourteen, I 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:55.560 started drinking at a buddy's house. And I don't want 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:58.440 to say any names, you know what I mean. And 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:04.400 but really off the rail, Yeah, seventeen to twenty four 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:06.080 was a blur. 0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:09.479 Is that just the crowd that you got involved with? 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:13.359 It was that it was the lifestyle. It was the 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:16.800 amount of money I was making. I mean, it was 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:20.159 all the things. It was everything kind of the perfect storm. 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:26.119 The people pleasing aspect I loved to be the party 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:29.560 and even growing up when Mom and Dan went out 0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:31.919 of town, our house was a party house. That's where 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:36.200 I threw parties, and it was you know, I ruined 0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:38.320 a lot of their I feel terrible, don't sorry, Mom, 0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:40.359 I feel terrible, But I ruined a lot of their 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:43.040 vacations because there'd be a police officer calling them, mister 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:46.159 and missus Campbell, your son is having a party and 0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:49.720 we found a block of marijuana in your backyard. And 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:51.800 you know, they were in the Bahamas one time, had 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:54.040 to come home. But yeah, I think off the rails, 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:59.560 off the rails, and when I knew I had something 0:18:59.640 --> 0:19:01.719 needed to change, but I just I couldn't get out 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:06.880 of my own way was probably yeah, probably every point time. 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:12.000 And then it was about ten fifteen years in and out. 0:19:12.320 --> 0:19:17.399 Oh yeah, rehabs, in jails, just just not you know, 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:19.120 telling everybody, well, I can do this on my own. 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:21.240 You know, I don't. I don't. I'm good, I don't 0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:24.600 need anybody, blah blah blah. Yeah, just fooling myself, really 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:30.159 trying to paint this picture or have this facade of 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:33.399 everything's great, everything's fine, and I'm I was good at it. 0:19:33.480 --> 0:19:36.160 I was good at playing that game and making everybody 0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:38.960 think that things were okay. Maybe I wasn't that good 0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:42.399 at it because you guys always knew, you know, you 0:19:42.480 --> 0:19:44.879 got I think sometimes y'all might not have known, Like 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:46.960 whenever I had gone to rehab and came out, and 0:19:47.280 --> 0:19:49.040 you know, I'd stay clean for a little bit, but 0:19:49.080 --> 0:19:51.200 I'd just tell y'all was staying clean for a lot longer. 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:52.600 But I had already started using. 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:54.359 You know, I think we kind of knew. Yeah, I 0:19:54.400 --> 0:19:57.399 think so it would be hard to not know. You 0:19:57.440 --> 0:20:00.199 would be the same way if it was us. So 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:03.159 in twenty twenty two, you had the moment locked the 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:08.639 keys in the truck and then SHANEA picks you up. Yeah, 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:11.159 well we know if you fast forward you end up 0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:13.720 going to prison, correct for the charges. Correct, But you 0:20:13.760 --> 0:20:15.560 were already kind of rebuilding. 0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:17.680 Yeah, I had lunch with you right before you went. 0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:22.119 I had lunch, Yes, So so I had. I had 0:20:22.320 --> 0:20:26.680 stayed clean in twenty twenty one, and prior to that 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:29.040 for thirteen months, and I relapsed. I drank a beer 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:32.159 and I relapsed, and my Sobriet beer one beer, but 0:20:32.160 --> 0:20:34.719 that at that time that one beer canceled that date. 0:20:34.760 --> 0:20:36.960 That date was no longer good, that date was gone. 0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:39.800 And a couple weeks later I thought about that beer 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:40.719 that I had and I was like, well, I can 0:20:40.760 --> 0:20:41.520 have a couple of beers. 0:20:41.760 --> 0:20:42.280 Oh yeah. 0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:43.920 And then a couple of weeks later, well I can 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:47.399 have a bucket. And that night we were playing we 0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:50.080 were playing darts. I won't forget that night either, where 0:20:50.240 --> 0:20:52.560 Shane and I went out. We were playing darts and 0:20:53.119 --> 0:20:55.120 had a bunch of beers and had a rumplement shot. 0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:59.520 And that she knows that that I tell her that 0:20:59.560 --> 0:21:01.040 I don't think that that's what put me over there 0:21:01.080 --> 0:21:03.400 is that's what put me over the edge. I created 0:21:03.400 --> 0:21:06.760 an argument, I created a fight and left her at 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:09.919 home and went to the dope house. And that was 0:21:11.560 --> 0:21:14.199 I think that was in December when I was gone, 0:21:15.800 --> 0:21:19.440 But I came back. I started rebuilding from from January 0:21:19.520 --> 0:21:22.080 to March, know whing this case was coming up, and 0:21:22.400 --> 0:21:24.760 in the back of my head, I was telling myself, 0:21:25.080 --> 0:21:27.879 I'm getting time. I'm getting time. There's nothing there this 0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:31.080 this lady, miss Beach. She already told me if she 0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:32.960 ever sees me in her courtroom again, she's gonna throw 0:21:32.960 --> 0:21:34.840 the book at me. So I already. I already knew 0:21:36.040 --> 0:21:39.359 that there was I was getting time. The attorneys that 0:21:39.400 --> 0:21:42.880 we were working with were kind of finicky, but I knew. 0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:44.399 I was just hoping that I didn't get time, but 0:21:44.440 --> 0:21:46.040 I knew I was getting time. But while I was 0:21:46.040 --> 0:21:51.560 in there, my wife Shana found her faith and found 0:21:51.560 --> 0:21:55.960