Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with brooks Like and Gavin
Speaker 1: to Grab and I Hear Radio podcast. Welcome to another
Speaker 1: episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like
Speaker 1: and I'm super excited about this episode because we're going
Speaker 1: to dive into stress and the handling and dealing of stress,
Speaker 1: especially during a pandemic. This Wednesday is National Stress Awareness Day,
Speaker 1: and so we're going to dive into this. We have
Speaker 1: a great guest and we have a we have two
Speaker 1: great guests. We have a wonderful young lady who has
Speaker 1: been a big part of the How Men Think podcast
Speaker 1: right from the very start. Hanna Nouga Bauer is with us. Hanna,
Speaker 1: how are you? I miss your face. It's good to
Speaker 1: see you, I know. So Hannah worked with the podcast
Speaker 1: break from the very start. Um has been part of
Speaker 1: the team. And Hannah is dealing with a lot of
Speaker 1: stress in her life currently as we all are, and
Speaker 1: then to to help her and assist her move through
Speaker 1: this transition. We have a wonderful and talented guest with us.
Speaker 1: She's going to be a co host with me today.
Speaker 1: She is best known as dr V. She's a renowned
Speaker 1: relationship expert media personality, former host of we tv s
Speaker 1: Marriage boot Camp. You recently became a best selling author
Speaker 1: that debuted at the number one on the l A
Speaker 1: Times with the release of her very first book, Bad Advice,
Speaker 1: How to Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bullshit.
Speaker 1: I love it. Dr Venus Nicolino, Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. I'm going to
Speaker 1: keep you in my back pocket for for whenever I
Speaker 1: need an intro. So yeah, just you can just look. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can just loop that. Dr v um So, dr V.
Speaker 1: I'm super excited to have you on because, uh so
Speaker 1: much with the state of the world, with what's going
Speaker 1: on with COVID and just how has not turned out
Speaker 1: how anybody imagined it would. There's a tremendous amount of
Speaker 1: stress present in the world, and with the National Stress
Speaker 1: Awareness Day, we want to open this up. In the
Speaker 1: goal of this podcast, Hannah is going to be courageous
Speaker 1: enough to share what she's going through, but the goal
Speaker 1: is for Hanna's story to inspire others to have conversations
Speaker 1: within their communities and hopefully receive from Hanna's story and
Speaker 1: from your guidance, how we can move through this time
Speaker 1: and deal with some stress. So Hannah, I want to
Speaker 1: applaud you. You're courageous and brave and a lovely soul. Um.
Speaker 1: And so Hannah, I'll let you take the lead and
Speaker 1: maybe just let dr V know some of the things,
Speaker 1: some of the stressful things that are present in your life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course, Um, thank you dr V for talking to me.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like right now everyone is dealing
Speaker 1: with stress. Um. I'm a senior in college right now,
Speaker 1: and I'm living in Pacific Beach in San Diego, and
Speaker 1: I don't leave my house much, and it's hard for
Speaker 1: me because I like to always stay busy. I like
Speaker 1: to be outside, and I think that this shift of
Speaker 1: online school and not having a lot of social interaction
Speaker 1: has been really hard for me. Um. I studied abroad
Speaker 1: in January in Barcelona for about three months through my school,
Speaker 1: and that was something that was really scary for me,
Speaker 1: and I kind of just went for it, and I
Speaker 1: got out of my comfort zone and I was living
Speaker 1: really far away from my family. I was on my own.
Speaker 1: I was with a couple of friends, but it was
Speaker 1: a super foreign experience and I felt like I made
Speaker 1: so much personal growth being on my own and being
Speaker 1: somewhere where they don't really speak English, and I was
Speaker 1: pushing myself and then got set home because of the coronavirus.
Speaker 1: And now I feel like I'm kind of back at
Speaker 1: square one, where I'm I have taken a lot of
Speaker 1: steps backwards in my personal growth, and I'm feeling just
Speaker 1: very frustrated in that sense, and also just feeling stressed
Speaker 1: out in what's next for me and how I keep growing. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I just want to address you had said that
Speaker 1: you felt as though there's a personal grows setback, and
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that that is a narrative and a
Speaker 1: story and a lie that you're telling yourself, because by
Speaker 1: being a part of what's happening today, by being aware
Speaker 1: of what you're feeling, you have grown exponentially already. So
Speaker 1: I know that it feels like that, but feelings aren't facts.
Speaker 1: So I want to just say that straight, that personal
Speaker 1: growth is happening as we speak right now. And I
Speaker 1: also want to tell you that you are not alone.
Speaker 1: Over sixty two of Americans. That's can you imagine, I'm
Speaker 1: like that sixty of Americans are suffering with some kind
Speaker 1: of mental health struggle. People who would otherwise not be
Speaker 1: are now struggling. So just to give a snapshot of
Speaker 1: you had brought up the virus, So let's have a
Speaker 1: snapshot of that. In March it was about which is
Speaker 1: still a very very large number. Now we're almost at
Speaker 1: six five. So just imagine that something happens. We have
Speaker 1: this enormous sphere right in March, we're all we're we
Speaker 1: don't know what to do with ourselves. We're devastated, we
Speaker 1: can't believe what's happening. You would think that that would
Speaker 1: be the height of our mental illnesses, our mental fears,
Speaker 1: our anxieties, are stresses. You would think it would be
Speaker 1: then totally it isn't. It's actually has grown. So it's
Speaker 1: not necessarily the virus that has helped us feel um
Speaker 1: all sorts of negative feelings. But it's what goes around
Speaker 1: that virus. Right, It's what you had said, a sense
Speaker 1: of loneliness, a sense of isolation. We have job loss,
Speaker 1: we have drug use, we have domestic violence. We could
Speaker 1: go on and on and on about everything that has
Speaker 1: been in this pressure cooker that is just getting exponentially
Speaker 1: higher in statistics. And I'm glad you're here and not
Speaker 1: a bunch of bros. Although that would be um, well, Hannah,
Speaker 1: that women experience more psychological trauma. They're reporting more psychological trauma,
Speaker 1: which begs the question are women bearing more of the
Speaker 1: emotional labor of what's happening or are men under reporting
Speaker 1: how they feel or both. It's a it's an interesting question,
Speaker 1: you know something to your October podcast and you're talking,
Speaker 1: you're answering all these different questions Brooks about you know,
Speaker 1: you know what men think and how men feel, and
Speaker 1: of course what you think. You know, I feel this
Speaker 1: sucks for me, but you are answering these these these
Speaker 1: really really great questions and answering them with a lot
Speaker 1: of heart and a lot of humor. And it had
Speaker 1: occurred to me that's so much of what goes on
Speaker 1: with men goes unspoken. So I want to just really
Speaker 1: put that out there as definitely that the statistic is
Speaker 1: weighing heavily on women. Going back to you, you're not alone. Um,
Speaker 1: I think some of the issues here is what can
Speaker 1: you do about it? M hm? So let's start there.
Speaker 1: Let's start there, what what can where are some starting
Speaker 1: points for Hanna or for anybody else who's going through this.
Speaker 1: Aim sort of similarities where Hanna, where their life was
Speaker 1: on a great trajectory and then COVID happened and things
Speaker 1: have been shut down, and now they're finding themselves in
Speaker 1: a foreign place where they're really isolated, really alone, may
Speaker 1: be sad. Maybe some people are depressed, uncertain, unsure. All
Speaker 1: of these things just a tidal wave coming at once.
Speaker 1: What are some things, uh, starting points for people to
Speaker 1: start to deal with this amount of stress? Well, Hanna,
Speaker 1: I want to ask you, what have you already tried? What?
Speaker 1: What did it work? Yeah? I mean I feel like
Speaker 1: I hold a lot in and that's something that I've
Speaker 1: just done my whole life, and I've been really trying
Speaker 1: to just let it all out reately. Am I on you?
Speaker 1: In a way? I think that I put up a
Speaker 1: really tough front, and I always like to be there
Speaker 1: for other people. But then I don't allow myself to
Speaker 1: feel what I'm feeling, or I don't even acknowledge that
Speaker 1: I'm having a hard day. Sometimes then it just builds
Speaker 1: and builds, and that's when it gets hard. So you
Speaker 1: are the receptacle, the container of everybody else's feelings. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I and I totally like being that for my friends.
Speaker 1: And the people around me. I genuinely like to be
Speaker 1: there for them, and I want to know what's going
Speaker 1: on in their life and I want to be that
Speaker 1: support system. But at times I feel like I'm missing that. Mhm.
Speaker 1: Is there anyone that we want our relationships to be
Speaker 1: equitable and for life, not just now, but now more
Speaker 1: than ever. Our relationships need to be equitable. Do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean when I say that? Yeah? Okay,
Speaker 1: so so many of what I'm hearing, so many of
Speaker 1: your relationships aren't equitable. I'm gonna be na because I
Speaker 1: got a problem. And how doesn't listen all my because
Speaker 1: that's what Hannah does. She's my emotional container. Okay. And
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, who are you able
Speaker 1: to go to? Right? We need to make sure that
Speaker 1: we have people in our lives where it is equitable,
Speaker 1: where you are able to put your fears and your
Speaker 1: stresses outside of you. And let me tell you the
Speaker 1: power of that. Once ple we voice a fear out loud,
Speaker 1: That fear has difficulty growing because it no longer has
Speaker 1: a host. It's a parasite inside of you, right, So
Speaker 1: you'll lay it out, you'll blurt out. It's so powerful
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it loses a little bit of power.
Speaker 1: When you tell that fear and that anxiety to someone
Speaker 1: who's actively listening, really wanting to take it from you
Speaker 1: and hold it, it loses even more power. So now
Speaker 1: your anxiety, now your stresses are even a little less.
Speaker 1: So social distancing doesn't mean emotional distancing. I cannot stress
Speaker 1: that enough. This is your personal growth. Where can you
Speaker 1: how can you push yourself to rely on other people
Speaker 1: to be listened to? This is your growth and by
Speaker 1: the way, that is a lesson when you figure out
Speaker 1: how to do it. Please tell me because I've been
Speaker 1: almost fifty years so so you are you calling you
Speaker 1: when when you figure out to Um, Hana, I have
Speaker 1: a question for you. Do you believe do you believe
Speaker 1: in your That's great advice, Dr be Us. I want
Speaker 1: to acknowledge you for that that social distancing isn't emotional distancing.
Speaker 1: That is wonderful, um and I want our listeners to
Speaker 1: hear that in to receive that. Uh. And then my
Speaker 1: question for you, Hannah is do you believe that you
Speaker 1: have friends that you can or that can listen to
Speaker 1: you and hear you and hear your fears and support
Speaker 1: you and love you and be that container for you,
Speaker 1: and that you just haven't opened that up to share
Speaker 1: with them, or do you feel like you just don't
Speaker 1: have those people in your life You're willing to open up,
Speaker 1: but you have, you just don't have the people to
Speaker 1: do it right. I definitely have a strong support system
Speaker 1: with my family and a lot of friends. I think
Speaker 1: where I struggle is I don't want to be the
Speaker 1: burden for other people. And that's something that I mean,
Speaker 1: I feel like I've just done my whole life like
Speaker 1: i just want to put up a front where everything's okay,
Speaker 1: I'm okay, don't worry about me, like I'm here for you.
Speaker 1: And I've had to learn to get over that hump
Speaker 1: of accepting that it's okay for me to have feelings
Speaker 1: to everyone has feelings, like I'm able to feel things
Speaker 1: to share that with others, Hana, for a second, I
Speaker 1: want to reframe that for you and maybe our listeners.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to interrupt you for listeners to to think
Speaker 1: about this as well. Um by you not having that
Speaker 1: relationship be equitable, by feeling like you're a burden, I
Speaker 1: want to reframe that for you. It's a selfish way
Speaker 1: to be actually quite selfish because you now control that relationship.
Speaker 1: You now are the power dynamic of that relationship by
Speaker 1: holding back and by everybody giving to you. It's a
Speaker 1: powerful place to be. So it's gonna take a lot
Speaker 1: of your vulnerability to step forward. So so many times
Speaker 1: when we feel like we are the person, we are,
Speaker 1: the backbone of everybody we are, that is true. I'm
Speaker 1: just giving you another version that that is not that
Speaker 1: that is very selfish, because other people deserve your vulnerabilities too,
Speaker 1: So I just kind of wanted to reframe it and
Speaker 1: hopefully like like what I'm really doing is using what
Speaker 1: you think is helpful against you. So I don't know,
Speaker 1: and I sure you're trying to be selfless, and I'm
Speaker 1: trying to tell you that's a selfish way to be. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think that's I think that's a really good point.
Speaker 1: And it does like, if I'm being honest, I'm such
Speaker 1: a control freak and that kind of goes with what
Speaker 1: you just kind of like, I know I completely am
Speaker 1: and just looking back where I am. I'm a senior
Speaker 1: in college, and up until this point, I've kind of
Speaker 1: known what is coming next after middle school you go
Speaker 1: to high school. After high school, it's called and coronavirus
Speaker 1: or not. This stage in life, I feel like it's
Speaker 1: kind of unsettling for some people because I don't know
Speaker 1: what's next, and not having that control or not knowing
Speaker 1: what's coming next scares me so much, and I just
Speaker 1: try and get all the control and other areas that
Speaker 1: I possibly can, If that makes sense. Well, yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's so when we know what's coming next, and
Speaker 1: particularly someone like you, you remind me of it. Would
Speaker 1: it be wrong to say that you're a planner? I
Speaker 1: am a complete planner. She's and it makes her excellent
Speaker 1: at many parts of her job, and like like she's
Speaker 1: so good at that. Yes, these things that make us
Speaker 1: uh successful and wonderful, and certain areas can be our
Speaker 1: achilles heel in others. M I'm sure Brooks, as an athlete,
Speaker 1: you probably have had this as well, right, Like, like,
Speaker 1: what makes you strong in one area was your achilles
Speaker 1: heel in another time it was a shadow. It was
Speaker 1: a shadow of the light. So what made you great
Speaker 1: on the ice may have made you I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just unemotional in a personal relationship exactly.
Speaker 1: So it's what makes us accomplished in one area can
Speaker 1: be our our Achilles heel in another. So this idea
Speaker 1: that you're a planner and that I got the sense
Speaker 1: that you are control for you, I'm so glad that
Speaker 1: you sort of brought that to like to say it
Speaker 1: for you. Um, it's good to know about yourself. And
Speaker 1: so what does this mean? This means that number one,
Speaker 1: you're going to have to continue that growth of being
Speaker 1: a good planner, right So you don't want to stop that,
Speaker 1: you want to continue that. How do you do that?
Speaker 1: I'm sure you have a million in one ways. You're
Speaker 1: the planner. You look, you write down your a Like
Speaker 1: how do you cope with making sure you have a
Speaker 1: plan for your days? Because I bet you this could
Speaker 1: help our listeners and like in terms of how you
Speaker 1: plan right well, I mean I'm sitting at my desk
Speaker 1: right now and I'm looking at my wall and I
Speaker 1: have sticky notes everywhere, like in rows of like Monday,
Speaker 1: Tuesday months. Yeah, I mean, I'm such a visual person
Speaker 1: who I like to see things and envision things, and
Speaker 1: that's how I just plan and get organized. But the
Speaker 1: second that anything comes into my life where I can't
Speaker 1: plan on it happening, or I can't control how it's
Speaker 1: going to pan out, then I freak out. That's when
Speaker 1: I just like lose control and I don't know how
Speaker 1: to deal with that. No, again, going back to this
Speaker 1: being an incredible telling for your personal growth, Living in
Speaker 1: the moment is something that you're going to have to
Speaker 1: figure out how to do your entire life to experience joy.
Speaker 1: How that's how we experience joy is that we live
Speaker 1: in moments to moments, Like when we laugh, it's an
Speaker 1: involuntary response. We're living in that moment. We were able
Speaker 1: to bottle just a little bit of joy. And when
Speaker 1: you're unable to live in the present, you're unable to
Speaker 1: experience joy. And guess what that does. That that magnifies
Speaker 1: on itself, begins to tap into all like trauma bonds.
Speaker 1: It begins to tap into the miserable gland in your brain.
Speaker 1: Because when we biologically, when we smile, we send muscle memory.
Speaker 1: You're you're an athlete, Brooks. You know all about muscle memory,
Speaker 1: the memory to our brain that makes us happy. And
Speaker 1: when we're laughing, and then the quality of our life
Speaker 1: gets better. The more we laugh, the more we experience joy.
Speaker 1: The less we do that, the worst we feel. So
Speaker 1: how do you think again, I want to ask you,
Speaker 1: how do you think you could better live in the present?
Speaker 1: I think just starting to let go of the control
Speaker 1: that I have on the little things that don't really matter.
Speaker 1: I don't want to let go of the control of
Speaker 1: the big things that are important, Like if I have
Speaker 1: something coming up, then I want to do everything that
Speaker 1: I can to control the outcome is really amazing, But
Speaker 1: the little things that I really don't need to control,
Speaker 1: Like I'm such a perfectionist and I won't want everything
Speaker 1: to be perfect. In acknowledging the fact that it's okay
Speaker 1: for things to not be absolutely perfect and letting go
Speaker 1: of that control, I think is a start. It scares me,
Speaker 1: but it's at And that's that's the shadow side of
Speaker 1: like your drive, like because no one you and having
Speaker 1: worked with you, you are you are fantastic at what
Speaker 1: you drop. Our pull We're looking after five guys our
Speaker 1: podcast when we started had five guys and we all
Speaker 1: felt absolutely looked after because Hannah Hada like we could
Speaker 1: show up and it was just like we were taken
Speaker 1: care of, Like you are amazing at your drop And
Speaker 1: then this is the shadow part of it, where it's
Speaker 1: where it's um what you were talking about, Dr B
Speaker 1: about how the blessing can also show up in your
Speaker 1: life as a curse, where this doesn't set you free
Speaker 1: and causes you anxiety and drama and like nervousness and
Speaker 1: stress over things that are actually maybe out of your control.
Speaker 1: It's just it's being aware of that and then having
Speaker 1: the subtle dance to acknowledge that, Okay, I can't control
Speaker 1: this so much. This I really can, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: champion it, but this is maybe an element that I
Speaker 1: need to leave a little grace in it for I'm
Speaker 1: going to ask you now how you feel in this moment,
Speaker 1: and by the way, how you felt before just changed
Speaker 1: and it changed again, and it changed again. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that even just letting this out and talking
Speaker 1: to Booth the view makes me feel a lot better.
Speaker 1: It's the reassurance side of making me feel like I'm
Speaker 1: not alone and that it is normal, because I get
Speaker 1: so in my head and wrapped up about oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I feel so stressed and anxious and overwhelmed, and how
Speaker 1: come no one else feels like this? But they do,
Speaker 1: And it's normal, and I don't let myself acknowledge that
Speaker 1: it's normal. I pretend like everything's fine all the time.
Speaker 1: While I'm happy you said that, I actually was attempting
Speaker 1: to have you live in the moment, which would be
Speaker 1: too understand what you feel in that moment. I feel sad,
Speaker 1: I feel angry, I feel I feel annoyed, I feel sad,
Speaker 1: any one of those, I feel happy, any one of
Speaker 1: those things that if you're able the pinpoint to stop
Speaker 1: your day and really ask yourself, what am I feeling
Speaker 1: right now? That the tool that grounds you in the
Speaker 1: moment that takes two seconds of your time, So I
Speaker 1: ask you again without planner kind of explanation and go
Speaker 1: on and on and on, because it's what it's what
Speaker 1: to do. So I want to stop you from doing it,
Speaker 1: like I wanted either to really help you. So I
Speaker 1: don't need to be uh hard ass, but I I
Speaker 1: want to help you in this moment. So I love it,
Speaker 1: like even towards me or or or any what is
Speaker 1: it that you're feeling right now in the moment without thought?
Speaker 1: I feel overwhelmed? Yeah, yeah, very overwhelmed because I think,
Speaker 1: for the first time in a really long time, I'm
Speaker 1: acknowledging what I've been feeling, and it's really overwhelming. Is
Speaker 1: it over Can we dive? Can we unpack that a little? Honea?
Speaker 1: Is it overwhelming with I have so many projects and
Speaker 1: things that I have to work on right now I'll
Speaker 1: do at the same time, like, these are things in
Speaker 1: front of me that are overwhelming me right now? Or
Speaker 1: is it I'm overwhelmed because I'm not sure what's coming
Speaker 1: and the weight of that uncertainty is really making me
Speaker 1: feel overwhelmed. Yeah, I think it's a mixture of things.
Speaker 1: I'm overwhelmed with school. I also have been living I
Speaker 1: feel like with a lot of guilt and feeling like
Speaker 1: I should be spending more time with my grandparents or
Speaker 1: my family. And that's something that I struggle with a lot.
Speaker 1: I think to myself, why am I down here when
Speaker 1: my parents are north northern California and so are my grandparents,
Speaker 1: When I could be up there and I could be
Speaker 1: using this time to have quality time with them. It
Speaker 1: just puts a lot of things into perspective for me.
Speaker 1: Right now, when you had you, because I can see
Speaker 1: you are our listeners, I don't know if they will
Speaker 1: be able to see you. You almost looked like you
Speaker 1: were going to cry. I have been on the verge
Speaker 1: of tears for like a week straight. Yeah, this week
Speaker 1: has been hard for me, and it's perfect timing that
Speaker 1: I'm able to talk to you. But yeah, I'm very
Speaker 1: emotional right now, and I don't like to cry. I
Speaker 1: don't like to let things out, but I try and
Speaker 1: hold it in as you can see. But yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: very emotional right now, and I'm just overwhelmed and I
Speaker 1: don't really know how to deal with it. Would happened,
Speaker 1: What do you think would happen if you cried and
Speaker 1: let it all out? I'd probably feel really good. But
Speaker 1: I don't allow myself to do that much. And I'm
Speaker 1: completely aware of it. I'm very self aware and I
Speaker 1: know exactly what I'm doing. I'm telling myself not to cry,
Speaker 1: but it would probably feel really good, and I'm in
Speaker 1: need of a good cry. You're a little bit of
Speaker 1: a massa chist to yourself. You don know what you
Speaker 1: need and eletely well good? Why wait from it? Our self?
Speaker 1: Sabotage myself all the time. Yeah, I know exactly what
Speaker 1: I need, but I don't. I cry all the time,
Speaker 1: and it's wonderful. Yeah, it's a great It's something I've
Speaker 1: like recently learned since the passing of our two dogs.
Speaker 1: I've learned like how to honor emotions in the moment
Speaker 1: and let them come up and through me and out
Speaker 1: of me. And a lot of times that's through crying,
Speaker 1: and it's and you know, Mihanna, I've played pro hockey
Speaker 1: for fifteen years, ran through dudes into dudes. I'm a dude.
Speaker 1: I love like being able to release emotion truthfully, organically
Speaker 1: in the moment, not suppress it. Not I I could
Speaker 1: stuff it if I want to. It's so not healthy.
Speaker 1: It is so liberating to allow and give yourself the
Speaker 1: grace and the capacity to just allow that emotion to
Speaker 1: live and come out and then it's like, oh god,
Speaker 1: that felt great and probably very freeing. It's so liberating.
Speaker 1: Dr V. Do you like encourage people to to cry
Speaker 1: or to let outstress or like you're you're you're hoping
Speaker 1: to encourage Hannah here to do it, but like, I've
Speaker 1: just learned that, and it is so liberating to honor
Speaker 1: those emotions and let them come to life and then
Speaker 1: they don't persist with me. Well, you don't have a
Speaker 1: choice because biology wins always, so you're going to end
Speaker 1: up crying at some point. Oh that's wonderful yourself the space,
Speaker 1: as as Books was saying, to kind of make it sacred, right,
Speaker 1: why at some point all of us, whether we're going
Speaker 1: to get frustrated, like biology will win, we are meant
Speaker 1: to cry to release the chemicals and the toxins that
Speaker 1: are in the brain. That's why we do it. And
Speaker 1: there's different kinds of prize as well. They're silent crying,
Speaker 1: they're screaming crying. There's trauma crying, there's anger crying. We
Speaker 1: have happy crying, happy crying, joy crying, we have all
Speaker 1: kinds of crying because the brain is meant to do
Speaker 1: its thing. So you're gonna cry no matter what at
Speaker 1: some point, whether you like it or not. Yeah, matter
Speaker 1: of do you want to? And I'm going to use
Speaker 1: this again in your and as your benefit to con
Speaker 1: hold that because you can, you can have space, a
Speaker 1: sacred space where you're able to allow yourself to feel
Speaker 1: your feelings and allow them to come to the surface
Speaker 1: and understand that you are doing something good for yourself
Speaker 1: and even our planner. I want to encourage um, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say this, and I hope that both of you
Speaker 1: don't I roll yourselves into another universe because I hear
Speaker 1: me say it and I want to I roll myself
Speaker 1: and the universe. Um, there are these amazing many meditations
Speaker 1: five minutes of your time, manner, minutes of our day
Speaker 1: where you can go on to Spotify or any other
Speaker 1: place and you can play a five minute, many many
Speaker 1: meditation for anything you want, whether it's to release motion,
Speaker 1: whether it's for fear, for anger. Let's say you're overwhelmed
Speaker 1: your anger, whatever may be five minutes to take for yourself.
Speaker 1: And here's the rub is that sometimes we think like
Speaker 1: self care is about the actual thing we do. It's
Speaker 1: really about the act of just doing it. So it's
Speaker 1: a little like gratitude. People think it's what they're great for. No,
Speaker 1: it's remembering to be grateful that gives you that feeling
Speaker 1: of a cocaine hit in your brain. So it's the
Speaker 1: act of doing it. So I wanted to just give
Speaker 1: you a real tool to hold onto because I know
Speaker 1: we're talking theoretically and a lot of times therapy is
Speaker 1: about kind of theory and then reply to yourself. Um.
Speaker 1: But many meditations either before you start your day or
Speaker 1: before you go to bed, to really understand and help
Speaker 1: you live in the moment. It will help you in
Speaker 1: that moment. Yeah. No, that's amazing and thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. And I do want to start allowing
Speaker 1: myself to help me like I I can provide myself tools.
Speaker 1: I'm just not allowing myself the help. And there's about
Speaker 1: this whole scenario. Um, there's something about the pandemic and
Speaker 1: how it's making you feel, how it's helping you feel,
Speaker 1: that's tapping in to a different trauma from the past.
Speaker 1: You brought up a lot of guilt, you brought up
Speaker 1: feeling out of control, you brought up feeling you should
Speaker 1: be with your there's something that it's tapping into a
Speaker 1: younger part of yourself. Um, and that's you know, that's
Speaker 1: something for you to sort of think about. I don't
Speaker 1: know if that hits you in an eye roll moment
Speaker 1: or if that's sort of like, oh, let me let
Speaker 1: me think about that. Is it tapping into a younger
Speaker 1: pain And that's wheels so out of control? Yeah, because
Speaker 1: I'm finally acknowledging all of my feelings from all of
Speaker 1: like yeah, and growing up because I mean, my parents
Speaker 1: will say all the time, like, you have no emotion,
Speaker 1: you show no emotion, like you never cry, And when
Speaker 1: I show the slightest bit of emotion then they're like,
Speaker 1: who is this person? And I think that you're totally
Speaker 1: write the pandemic and everything that's going on right now,
Speaker 1: I view it as negative. But after this conversation, I
Speaker 1: want to start shifting my perspective in looking at it
Speaker 1: in a positive light, like You're so right. It has
Speaker 1: forced me to be more in touch with my emotion
Speaker 1: and for once, I'm acknowledging that I feel overwhelmed and
Speaker 1: that I am stressed out and that I'm a complete
Speaker 1: control freaking I need to just let go sometimes. So
Speaker 1: there are benefits. Yeah, yeah, I have two thoughts. Um DRV.
Speaker 1: You said the five minute meditation thing, um, to allow
Speaker 1: yourself to feel what you're feeling. The one thing that
Speaker 1: really right now in my life works exceptionally well, UM
Speaker 1: is before breakfast, lunch, and supper, I will say a
Speaker 1: little prayer and I just say a prayer of what's
Speaker 1: on my heart. I'm grateful for my dog. I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for this beautiful house and this beautiful bay. On this lake.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for the air in my lungs, and just
Speaker 1: I just say what comes out of mynd and a
Speaker 1: lot of times I end up crying because it's in
Speaker 1: the practice of gratitude. I also say I'm grateful for
Speaker 1: the blessings and the challenges in my life. I'm grateful
Speaker 1: that life isn't just easy and and and a lot
Speaker 1: of times I or like if I have friends here
Speaker 1: at the house, I'm like, I'm grateful for this time
Speaker 1: of connection that we create, the space to get together,
Speaker 1: to serve and give to each other's life. And I
Speaker 1: find myself like tearing up, and it's like wow, like
Speaker 1: that actual gratitude is actually I'm not just having gratitude.
Speaker 1: I'm experiencing gratitude. And so prayer has been a really
Speaker 1: big one for me to be able to acknowledge what
Speaker 1: I'm feeling. It's it's just practicing gratitude out loud. Um.
Speaker 1: And then the other thing that I when you that
Speaker 1: I thought of earlier on Haunted, when you said you
Speaker 1: had great friends, You have people in your life, great
Speaker 1: family who would would be great resources to love you
Speaker 1: and support you, uh and hold you a creadle you
Speaker 1: in whatever way mentally, physically, emotionally that you need it. Um,
Speaker 1: I want to tell you a little story that about
Speaker 1: my mom. Um. When I started playing pro hockey, and
Speaker 1: as a pro hockey player, I wanted to do something
Speaker 1: very nice for my mom. I bought my dad a
Speaker 1: boat as a gift, just of like, I love you, Dad,
Speaker 1: I'm not here without you. I bought my dada boat
Speaker 1: And I want to do something very nice for my mom.
Speaker 1: And she's like, I don't want anything. I'm not letting
Speaker 1: you buy me anything. And I'm like, Mom, you're robbing
Speaker 1: your son the joy of giving a gift to his
Speaker 1: mother because you don't want anything. And so you not
Speaker 1: opening up to your friends or your family, are robbing
Speaker 1: them the joy of being there for you in a
Speaker 1: tough time in your life. How how excited are you
Speaker 1: when somebody's in a really tough time in their life
Speaker 1: and you get to be the person to hear them,
Speaker 1: to cut to created them, to love them, to talk
Speaker 1: them through it. Like the joy that you get in
Speaker 1: that moment. You are not allowing others to experience that
Speaker 1: joy by not talking about yourself. But Hannah, you also
Speaker 1: said something very interesting that because you have conditioned others
Speaker 1: to receive you in a very specific way as unemotional,
Speaker 1: that when you do become emotional, you don't get the
Speaker 1: response that you need. That's important to think about it,
Speaker 1: and I'm wondering, what do you what do you mean there?
Speaker 1: Dr B? Can you can you impact that you don't
Speaker 1: get the response that you should needs. As Anna had
Speaker 1: said it herself, Hannah had said that you explain to
Speaker 1: Hannah that people are so you being one way that
Speaker 1: when you are, you don't know what to do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and they're just so used to me in that way,
Speaker 1: and so that when I am emotional, they're not going
Speaker 1: to know how to really. I mean, it's going to
Speaker 1: be four to them and they're not going to really.
Speaker 1: So this is something you've experienced. I got the sense
Speaker 1: that this was something that you had experienced when you
Speaker 1: were emotional, that because you're not you that are and
Speaker 1: people are like, I don't know what to do with this?
Speaker 1: Is that what you're That's what I thought you were saying. No, completely.
Speaker 1: I think that because for so long I've kind of
Speaker 1: allowed myself to not be emotional, and I've wanted to
Speaker 1: just be the rock for everyone around me when I
Speaker 1: start to show the slightest bit of emotion. Everyone so
Speaker 1: confused and they don't kind of know what to do
Speaker 1: because they're like, wait, Hanna is showing emotion and she's
Speaker 1: like has feelings, So you're so right with And I
Speaker 1: don't think I really ever thought about that. It was
Speaker 1: just kind of it's just normal for me, So dr
Speaker 1: for Hannah in that situation, or for any of our
Speaker 1: listeners that feel like that's them in their life. When
Speaker 1: they start to get emotional, people like, what is this
Speaker 1: You're not using? What what could Hanna or our listeners
Speaker 1: do in that moment? Do they just bring voice like yeah,
Speaker 1: I am emotional, Like I need you? Can you I'm struggling?
Speaker 1: Can you listen? Can you? Like? How how can they
Speaker 1: get the response that they desire? If the response because
Speaker 1: we're not perfect beings. People are you know, people might
Speaker 1: not know how bad haunt and wants to really open up,
Speaker 1: but she's looking for somebody to pull that out of them.
Speaker 1: If they aren't pulling that out of her, how can
Speaker 1: she help them become aware to do that to be like,
Speaker 1: I really need to hear well, sometimes we have to
Speaker 1: deep pattern people in our lives, especially our parents and
Speaker 1: the people and our family, like you were saying, you
Speaker 1: have this good support to stem of friends and families.
Speaker 1: So I'm imagining that those relationships are long right there. There,
Speaker 1: they've been since the time you've been born. Yes, so
Speaker 1: they're long relationships. Uh well, I mean you're like twenty
Speaker 1: so they're not that long, but there as long as
Speaker 1: you have been alive. And so because you experience, you
Speaker 1: opened up maybe once, maybe twice, and you got you
Speaker 1: didn't get what you needed. Now now I know why
Speaker 1: you're not doing that. I now know why. And I
Speaker 1: find that in just this, you know, half hour of
Speaker 1: talking to you, a gift that I know something about
Speaker 1: you now that I didn't know before this. This has
Speaker 1: been a pattern and that you have been traumatized. You
Speaker 1: haven't gotten what you needed. So that means you're going
Speaker 1: to have to be pattern the people in your life,
Speaker 1: and you're going to have to tee them up. You're
Speaker 1: gonna have to say, if you can, I need you
Speaker 1: right now, I need you in this moment, and I
Speaker 1: don't want your opinion. I want your support. So that's
Speaker 1: something that I've been telling a lot of people lately too,
Speaker 1: because everyone's full of their opinion. Look up, I don't
Speaker 1: nobody wants your opinion. They just want your support. So
Speaker 1: it's important that you tell them what you need. If
Speaker 1: you want their opinion, and I love your opinion, but
Speaker 1: if you don't want their opinion, you just need support.
Speaker 1: I need you and I just need your support. I
Speaker 1: want your opinions, I just want your support. So you're
Speaker 1: gonna have the deep pattern those people and what does
Speaker 1: that mean? That means you have to tea them up
Speaker 1: for what they're going to expect from you, because normally
Speaker 1: they would expect you to be a very certain way.
Speaker 1: Now you could take that even further. You could even
Speaker 1: have more courage and have a conversation about the times
Speaker 1: you came to them and you were emotional, Yeah you
Speaker 1: received them, and that you're looking for something different, that
Speaker 1: you want your relationships to be equitable, right totally. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. And I need to just start asking
Speaker 1: for help when I need it because I know that
Speaker 1: my friends and my family is so amazing, especially my parents,
Speaker 1: and I know that they will listen to me. I
Speaker 1: just don't allow them to listen to me. How do
Speaker 1: we get the courage to do that? Though? Dr V?
Speaker 1: Because that's what you're saying. I agree with completely, But
Speaker 1: how do we muscle up the courage to be that
Speaker 1: vulnerable to ask that, to to say to somebody like,
Speaker 1: I don't need your opinion, I need your support. I'm
Speaker 1: really struggling because we all want to we're right, We're
Speaker 1: right there were It's like a cliff like we're about
Speaker 1: to go over it, but we stop ourselves. How do
Speaker 1: we just push over that line and really force ourselves
Speaker 1: to come out and say that, no, that the other
Speaker 1: side is looking for that. Yes, about the other side.
Speaker 1: Know that the other side is waiting to receive you,
Speaker 1: that the other side wants that, particularly the way you've
Speaker 1: described your family and your friends, and by the way,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say that about everybody, but we're having this
Speaker 1: conversation with you, Hannah, and I know that the other
Speaker 1: side is waiting for you. Yes, the relationship equitable, right,
Speaker 1: but you're so strong, right, you say it the way
Speaker 1: it is. You're the planner, and they allow you to
Speaker 1: be the emotional vehicle of the relationship. They allow you
Speaker 1: to be the engine. So you're asking to sit in
Speaker 1: the passenger side. You're asking a ride shotgun. You want
Speaker 1: want somebody else to drive for a second in and
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with that because that other person wants
Speaker 1: to drive. Mm hmm. Yeah. I needed to hear that.
Speaker 1: I learned that lesson about a year ago. Dr b
Speaker 1: Um my whole life I was. I was like Hannah,
Speaker 1: I was great at being strong for myself. I could.
Speaker 1: I was tough. I could, I could will myself through things.
Speaker 1: I could suppress emotion I could. And what what what
Speaker 1: ended up happening is that put me on an island
Speaker 1: all by myself, and I realized I really wasn't that strong.
Speaker 1: And what the growth that I needed to make was
Speaker 1: I needed to become strong enough to ask for help
Speaker 1: and to accept help and to let other first. Actually,
Speaker 1: even before before that, it was let others know that
Speaker 1: I'm struggling, that I need help. And when I crossed
Speaker 1: that bridge, that was one of the proudest moments in
Speaker 1: my life. I'm like, I'm so proud of myself that
Speaker 1: I've learned that I don't have to be strong. I
Speaker 1: can be, but I don't have to be you, but
Speaker 1: that I'm strong enough to let my closest people in
Speaker 1: my life know that I need help, that I need
Speaker 1: support and then the tidal wave of support from these people.
Speaker 1: They're like, oh my god, I love like like the
Speaker 1: clear schedules they come over right now, like they're just
Speaker 1: they show up the present. They're gonna text you tomorrow,
Speaker 1: will call you to more, They're gonna follow up how
Speaker 1: you doing, just checking in how's your heart? Like they
Speaker 1: are gonna show up in your life in as a
Speaker 1: tidal wave that is just and then that reaffirms like
Speaker 1: oh my god, I should open up again about something.
Speaker 1: But it takes the courage on the first time to
Speaker 1: do it. But upon I'm really like, I'm so excited
Speaker 1: for you because I feel like you're going to take
Speaker 1: that step and your mom is gonna be so proud
Speaker 1: and happy to talk to you. Your dad and they're
Speaker 1: could be like I think got a little girl his
Speaker 1: our little girl like grown woman but sharing your heart.
Speaker 1: So proud of you, you know, as a as a
Speaker 1: friend of yours, Like I would love it if you
Speaker 1: called me and you said books, I need I need
Speaker 1: an ear. You know, I'm like, Okay, let me clear
Speaker 1: everything and just be here for you. It's such a
Speaker 1: gift to allow people to step into that place, be
Speaker 1: in that place. What an honoring of that person that
Speaker 1: you trust them with your heart and your emotions. What
Speaker 1: a beautiful way to honor them. But I also say
Speaker 1: that I don't want you to self sabotage because a
Speaker 1: lot of times the planner be a person who's emotionally withholding,
Speaker 1: and that's what you're doing. You're emotionally withholding. Will purposefully
Speaker 1: choose the wrong person to open up really yourself, you
Speaker 1: will purposely because you want to. You wanna, You're gonna
Speaker 1: have that self fulfilling prophecy, You're gonna you're right, so
Speaker 1: be I want you to not get caught in that draft, right,
Speaker 1: not subconsciously control. Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm wanna,
Speaker 1: I'm wanna. I want to be in control. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make sure that don't have to share. I'm gonna make
Speaker 1: sure you have to remain the same all the time
Speaker 1: now like I am fixed in stone, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to change, and I'm gonna make sure I choose the
Speaker 1: wrong person to open up to. So it's about really
Speaker 1: making sure that you choose the right person to open
Speaker 1: up to. And I said, it makes total sense, And
Speaker 1: I have a very very strong support system and I'm
Speaker 1: very lucky, and I feel so grateful for the people
Speaker 1: in my life, and I need to start I mean
Speaker 1: using them in talking to them, because they're in my
Speaker 1: life for a reason. Brooks, you to speak to um
Speaker 1: humanity as a whole, that we have been sold a
Speaker 1: lot um. So anthropologically and biologically humans are meant to cooperate.
Speaker 1: That is how we have survived. We are meant to
Speaker 1: join in joy and pain and happiness. Which is why
Speaker 1: so mental things is happening now. Is we're unable to
Speaker 1: brush up against each other in a store, We're unable
Speaker 1: to see faces, were unable to experience, uh, the social
Speaker 1: animals that we are UM. And it really speaks to
Speaker 1: humans as a whole that we are meant for cooperation,
Speaker 1: that we are not warlike creatures being sold. All of
Speaker 1: that research has been debunked with chimpanzees and monkeys forever,
Speaker 1: and yet we continue to perpetuate this lie um. Humans
Speaker 1: are meant to cooperate, We're meant to commune. People want
Speaker 1: to commune with you, and that's why I know on
Speaker 1: the other side someone's waiting for you. I know that
Speaker 1: for effect, because biology and science wins every time, and
Speaker 1: we call apart in our Western world, our hearts and
Speaker 1: our heads, and then science and statistics over here they're
Speaker 1: the same. They're there, they're the same that if you
Speaker 1: follow the through line, they just go hand in hand
Speaker 1: and they make sense. So your biology and your science
Speaker 1: is going to win. Because humans were meant to cooperate
Speaker 1: and commune in difficult times, and because we're not able
Speaker 1: to do that, we're living unnaturally and it's tapping into
Speaker 1: people's inability to sleep, their inability to eat, or overreading
Speaker 1: or drug use or whatever it may be. Whatever we're
Speaker 1: humans are pushed to be unnatural. Um, there are consequences
Speaker 1: to that. So going back to what you were saying Brooks,
Speaker 1: there is a larger picture of of why, Um, you're
Speaker 1: experiencing the other side in such a nice way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and also to to put to take some of the
Speaker 1: stress off you, Hannah, and and any of our listeners too.
Speaker 1: Is is what you alluded to earlier, Dr v Um.
Speaker 1: A lot of the conditioning and the muscles that I've
Speaker 1: built to be able to perform in my career as
Speaker 1: a professional athlete, I strengthened those so much to perform
Speaker 1: in that arena that it was impossible for that also
Speaker 1: not to bleed into my personal life. So it's not
Speaker 1: like I didn't want to be emotional. It was just
Speaker 1: I had practiced sensory deprivation. I've talked about this on
Speaker 1: this podcast so many times. I I practiced and trained
Speaker 1: sensory deprivation so I could go harder, longer, feel no pain,
Speaker 1: not here, noise, dosia, distraction in a twenty person building,
Speaker 1: I was a robot, and that allowed me to perform
Speaker 1: in that arena of sport. But it's subtract or detracted
Speaker 1: from my emotional capacity as a human being. And so
Speaker 1: it didn't mean I was a flawed person. That didn't
Speaker 1: mean I was a bad person had all these I
Speaker 1: wasn't capable of all these things. And just like you, Hannah,
Speaker 1: like you have amazing skills that you have cultivated to
Speaker 1: achieve at a high level in your professional life, and
Speaker 1: it's impossible for that part of you not to also
Speaker 1: just subtly bleed into the personal side of your life.
Speaker 1: And so it's not a flaw within you that you
Speaker 1: haven't been able to open up. But dr V and Hannah,
Speaker 1: you have brought attention to the fact now that it's
Speaker 1: okay to that you. We are all struggling and we
Speaker 1: want to open up. So now it's on Now, it's
Speaker 1: on us. Now it's time to take the ownership of
Speaker 1: that and to be the take our step forward. And Hannah,
Speaker 1: you've heard me say it on this podcast many times.
Speaker 1: Part of the reason why I wanted to do this
Speaker 1: podcast is because I'm not good at opening up. I'm
Speaker 1: not good at talking. Guys talk about things, their trucks,
Speaker 1: the game, whatever, they talk about things fishing, but they
Speaker 1: don't talk about our hearts and what we're feeling. And
Speaker 1: I was the king of that, and that's why I
Speaker 1: wanted to do this podcast. And Gavin, you know, Gavin
Speaker 1: was also the king of that, and that's why we
Speaker 1: wanted to do this podcast. And we've said it many times.
Speaker 1: We want to step forward. What's our purpose of this podcast.
Speaker 1: We want to step forward as men, masculine men, step
Speaker 1: forward and set down our armor, and in doing so,
Speaker 1: every other man around us sets down here and be like,
Speaker 1: thank God, because I'm also dealing with this. I'm also
Speaker 1: dealing with this, but this is doing this podcast is
Speaker 1: a way for me to practice this. This is why
Speaker 1: I do it. So Hannah, I and I feel like
Speaker 1: you're a much more evolved person than I am, even hanted,
Speaker 1: So you have the capability within you and the power
Speaker 1: within you to reach out to people, and it's gonna
Speaker 1: be so liberating and exciting and you're gonna enjoy it.
Speaker 1: It's actually not scary. You're gonna enjoy it. It's gonna
Speaker 1: feel so good for you to share those things. So
Speaker 1: however I can help, I just want to support you
Speaker 1: and saying you love and hope that you, um you
Speaker 1: do reach out to those people because they are waiting,
Speaker 1: as dr B that they're waiting for you with open arms.
Speaker 1: On the other side, well, thank you, I mean, I
Speaker 1: appreciate it. And talking with you two today has just
Speaker 1: even made me feel a little little bit lighter in itself,
Speaker 1: and it's given me motivation to just keep talking about things,
Speaker 1: and it's made the process I feel a little bit
Speaker 1: less scary because you guys have been so receptive, and
Speaker 1: I know that if I'm getting this reaction from you guys,
Speaker 1: people in my life will be there, like you said,
Speaker 1: with open arms, and they're ready to help. I even
Speaker 1: see even see like me, Hanna, like my face is
Speaker 1: glued at the screen. Um, whereas before I was sitting
Speaker 1: back here is because like it's just natural as a human,
Speaker 1: Like we all have hearts and we care about people.
Speaker 1: And I know you and I care about you, and
Speaker 1: I know you at a tenth of the degree that
Speaker 1: everybody else in your life knows you. Um, but it's
Speaker 1: pulling me into like be closer, and our listeners can't
Speaker 1: see if my face is dammed up against and like
Speaker 1: because I just I already feel drawn to you, already
Speaker 1: feel drawn to support and to love you, and that
Speaker 1: that this person is this opening up and like I'm here,
Speaker 1: and so that same reaction is going to be present
Speaker 1: through your friends or your family. Are the people who
Speaker 1: are closest in your life and closest to your heart,
Speaker 1: they are just going to lead into it with all
Speaker 1: of theirs. So I hope you do it real soon.
Speaker 1: And I want to say one of the things to
Speaker 1: you as a planner, reassure the worrior in you that
Speaker 1: there is time to do everything you want to do
Speaker 1: with your life, but you are not losing time. Reassure
Speaker 1: the worrior in you. And I think doing that for
Speaker 1: you will be very helpful on a regular basis because
Speaker 1: you're planning because you're stressed and you're worried. That's that's
Speaker 1: the copy of that. That's because you've had to cope
Speaker 1: with other feelings, and that's why you're a planner. And
Speaker 1: I just want you to reassure the warrior insiderself that
Speaker 1: there is time to do the things you want to
Speaker 1: do with your life. Yeah. I really appreciate that. I
Speaker 1: mean seriously from the bottom of my heart, because I
Speaker 1: am such a warrior and I overthink and I think
Speaker 1: too much. My dad always tells me, you think too much.
Speaker 1: But I just need to start having conversations with myself.
Speaker 1: And I think the first step is just acknowledging it
Speaker 1: within me that it's everything is just going to be okay.
Speaker 1: You just got to let it out. And things happen
Speaker 1: for a reason. I always try to remind myself that
Speaker 1: things happen for a reason. Also, Hannah, we have the
Speaker 1: most successful podcast in the world. Everybody in the world
Speaker 1: listens to it. So everybody in the world is going
Speaker 1: to know your problems now. So even if you you've
Speaker 1: already you've already opened up, even if you don't know it,
Speaker 1: because your mom's gonna listen to your dad's gonn listen
Speaker 1: to it, and people are gonna be calling you alright, girl,
Speaker 1: like open up. So you you've you've announced it to
Speaker 1: the world already, Um, why not? Now everyone knows. Everyone knows.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be getting calls in text starting next week.
Speaker 1: Thanks guys, Thanks a lot, Um, We love you, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. I just want to acknowledge you for
Speaker 1: your courage, because the bravery and the courage to step
Speaker 1: forth and share that, to share that publicly on this
Speaker 1: platform is so courageous. And undoubtedly there are many many
Speaker 1: women and men listening to this that are seeing themselves
Speaker 1: in your story exactly and will then go and open up.
Speaker 1: That's our hope with this episode is they will also
Speaker 1: open up to their community, to there, as Dr VI says,
Speaker 1: equitable friends and show them love and honor them and
Speaker 1: honor themselves by opening up and say hey, I'm part
Speaker 1: of I'm part of us. I need you, I need
Speaker 1: your heart. I don't need your opinion everything that DRV said,
Speaker 1: But you've undoubtedly inspired people, Hannah, Um, You've inspired me,
Speaker 1: and I just want to acknowledge you for your courage
Speaker 1: and your heart. You've always been a joy to our
Speaker 1: podcast and joy to be around. Thank you. It means
Speaker 1: a lot. I mean, this was the most that I've
Speaker 1: let out in months, and I really mean that, Like
Speaker 1: I have not talked for this long about my emotions
Speaker 1: in years, and it feels good. It does feel good,
Speaker 1: and it's encouraged me to just keep keep opening up
Speaker 1: and letting go of the warrior inside of me and
Speaker 1: letting go of the control. And I really will take
Speaker 1: everything to heart. I mean, I'm already looking at my planner.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want to write down everything that Dr
Speaker 1: V has said and rita at the beginning of my days,
Speaker 1: because I mean, you said it best. You just gotta
Speaker 1: trust yourself and everything's gonna work out. M Dr V.
Speaker 1: I want to thank you as well for pouring your
Speaker 1: heart into this conversation, pouring your heart into Hannah, and
Speaker 1: our listeners are undoubtedly going to thank you. Um where
Speaker 1: can where can our listeners find more of you? Where?
Speaker 1: On social media? On TV? Where can they find you?
Speaker 1: It's a great question. It's always a brain teaser for me.
Speaker 1: So because you're everywhere, I write all down. So it's
Speaker 1: my Instagram is a doctor d O C T O R,
Speaker 1: A spell doctor, Underscore V Underscore Um, you can find
Speaker 1: me on Twitter at d r underscore v underscore tweet. Um,
Speaker 1: and you can find me. Uh, you know you can.
Speaker 1: My first name as Venus. You can look up in
Speaker 1: the sky and see me every now and again. So right,
Speaker 1: can you tell where can we Where can we get
Speaker 1: the new book? Anywhere? Books are sold? Anywhere? Books are sold?
Speaker 1: So bad advice how to survive and thrive in an
Speaker 1: age of bulls? I love it. What can you tell
Speaker 1: us about the book? Just tell you, give us a
Speaker 1: little snip it. Well. Um. The New York Post dubbed
Speaker 1: it as one of the top five books that will
Speaker 1: change your life. So I think that that's when I
Speaker 1: got that actoe. I was like, wow, that's good for you.
Speaker 1: It doesn't deserve that. I don't think the New York
Speaker 1: Post gets those things wrong. Wonderful very um. You know
Speaker 1: it's it's unique in a way as though. It feels
Speaker 1: as if you're having a conversation with your good friend
Speaker 1: over a glass of wine. And that's what I wanted
Speaker 1: it to have. I wanted you to have really um
Speaker 1: my voice and and really be reaching through the page.
Speaker 1: And and my goal with with really any creative endeavor
Speaker 1: is Hopefully it helps you change the way you see
Speaker 1: the world. It helps just shift your world view, even
Speaker 1: if it's a millimeter, it means that I have done
Speaker 1: my job. So wonderful. Grab the book. I think you'll
Speaker 1: of it. You'll laugh a lot. It's super fun. You'll
Speaker 1: learn a lot about yourself and about the world. And
Speaker 1: and and Jojoy and thank you so much for having
Speaker 1: me Brooks and Hannah. Thank you again for uh really
Speaker 1: trusting both of us with um, yourself and your heart.
Speaker 1: And if you think that with us, god damn you
Speaker 1: can do that with other people. Yeah. Yeah, wonderful, wonderful Hanna,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Dr V, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Once again. The book is called Bad Advice, How to
Speaker 1: Survive and Thrive in an Age of bull s. Um,
Speaker 1: thank you so much, guys. Dr V would love to
Speaker 1: have you back on here. We got to get the
Speaker 1: other guys on here because Hannah is very welcomposed. We
Speaker 1: got train wrecks of other guys here that that that
Speaker 1: needs your help. So UM, thank you so much, Dr BE. Hannah,
Speaker 1: we love you, I miss you. Can't wait to see
Speaker 1: your face again soon. And to everyone else listening, thank
Speaker 1: you for tuning in. This has been wonderful chat, wonderful discussion.
Speaker 1: Until next week. Take care of one another, love one another,
Speaker 1: and we'll see you back here for another episode of
Speaker 1: How Men Think