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Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with brooks Like and Gavin

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Speaker 1: to Grab and I Hear Radio podcast. Welcome to another

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Speaker 1: episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like

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Speaker 1: and I'm super excited about this episode because we're going

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Speaker 1: to dive into stress and the handling and dealing of stress,

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Speaker 1: especially during a pandemic. This Wednesday is National Stress Awareness Day,

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Speaker 1: and so we're going to dive into this. We have

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Speaker 1: a great guest and we have a we have two

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Speaker 1: great guests. We have a wonderful young lady who has

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Speaker 1: been a big part of the How Men Think podcast

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Speaker 1: right from the very start. Hanna Nouga Bauer is with us. Hanna,

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Speaker 1: how are you? I miss your face. It's good to

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Speaker 1: see you, I know. So Hannah worked with the podcast

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Speaker 1: break from the very start. Um has been part of

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Speaker 1: the team. And Hannah is dealing with a lot of

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Speaker 1: stress in her life currently as we all are, and

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Speaker 1: then to to help her and assist her move through

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Speaker 1: this transition. We have a wonderful and talented guest with us.

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Speaker 1: She's going to be a co host with me today.

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Speaker 1: She is best known as dr V. She's a renowned

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Speaker 1: relationship expert media personality, former host of we tv s

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Speaker 1: Marriage boot Camp. You recently became a best selling author

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Speaker 1: that debuted at the number one on the l A

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Speaker 1: Times with the release of her very first book, Bad Advice,

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Speaker 1: How to Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bullshit.

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Speaker 1: I love it. Dr Venus Nicolino, Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: keep you in my back pocket for for whenever I

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Speaker 1: need an intro. So yeah, just you can just look. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you can just loop that. Dr v um So, dr V.

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Speaker 1: I'm super excited to have you on because, uh so

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Speaker 1: much with the state of the world, with what's going

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Speaker 1: on with COVID and just how has not turned out

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Speaker 1: how anybody imagined it would. There's a tremendous amount of

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Speaker 1: stress present in the world, and with the National Stress

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Speaker 1: Awareness Day, we want to open this up. In the

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Speaker 1: goal of this podcast, Hannah is going to be courageous

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Speaker 1: enough to share what she's going through, but the goal

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Speaker 1: is for Hanna's story to inspire others to have conversations

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Speaker 1: within their communities and hopefully receive from Hanna's story and

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Speaker 1: from your guidance, how we can move through this time

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Speaker 1: and deal with some stress. So Hannah, I want to

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Speaker 1: applaud you. You're courageous and brave and a lovely soul. Um.

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Speaker 1: And so Hannah, I'll let you take the lead and

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Speaker 1: maybe just let dr V know some of the things,

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Speaker 1: some of the stressful things that are present in your life. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: of course, Um, thank you dr V for talking to me.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like right now everyone is dealing

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Speaker 1: with stress. Um. I'm a senior in college right now,

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Speaker 1: and I'm living in Pacific Beach in San Diego, and

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Speaker 1: I don't leave my house much, and it's hard for

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Speaker 1: me because I like to always stay busy. I like

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Speaker 1: to be outside, and I think that this shift of

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Speaker 1: online school and not having a lot of social interaction

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Speaker 1: has been really hard for me. Um. I studied abroad

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Speaker 1: in January in Barcelona for about three months through my school,

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Speaker 1: and that was something that was really scary for me,

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Speaker 1: and I kind of just went for it, and I

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Speaker 1: got out of my comfort zone and I was living

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Speaker 1: really far away from my family. I was on my own.

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Speaker 1: I was with a couple of friends, but it was

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Speaker 1: a super foreign experience and I felt like I made

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Speaker 1: so much personal growth being on my own and being

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Speaker 1: somewhere where they don't really speak English, and I was

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Speaker 1: pushing myself and then got set home because of the coronavirus.

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Speaker 1: And now I feel like I'm kind of back at

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Speaker 1: square one, where I'm I have taken a lot of

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Speaker 1: steps backwards in my personal growth, and I'm feeling just

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Speaker 1: very frustrated in that sense, and also just feeling stressed

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Speaker 1: out in what's next for me and how I keep growing. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So I just want to address you had said that

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Speaker 1: you felt as though there's a personal grows setback, and

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you that that is a narrative and a

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Speaker 1: story and a lie that you're telling yourself, because by

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Speaker 1: being a part of what's happening today, by being aware

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Speaker 1: of what you're feeling, you have grown exponentially already. So

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Speaker 1: I know that it feels like that, but feelings aren't facts.

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Speaker 1: So I want to just say that straight, that personal

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Speaker 1: growth is happening as we speak right now. And I

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Speaker 1: also want to tell you that you are not alone.

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Speaker 1: Over sixty two of Americans. That's can you imagine, I'm

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Speaker 1: like that sixty of Americans are suffering with some kind

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Speaker 1: of mental health struggle. People who would otherwise not be

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Speaker 1: are now struggling. So just to give a snapshot of

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Speaker 1: you had brought up the virus, So let's have a

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Speaker 1: snapshot of that. In March it was about which is

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Speaker 1: still a very very large number. Now we're almost at

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Speaker 1: six five. So just imagine that something happens. We have

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Speaker 1: this enormous sphere right in March, we're all we're we

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Speaker 1: don't know what to do with ourselves. We're devastated, we

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Speaker 1: can't believe what's happening. You would think that that would

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Speaker 1: be the height of our mental illnesses, our mental fears,

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Speaker 1: our anxieties, are stresses. You would think it would be

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Speaker 1: then totally it isn't. It's actually has grown. So it's

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Speaker 1: not necessarily the virus that has helped us feel um

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Speaker 1: all sorts of negative feelings. But it's what goes around

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Speaker 1: that virus. Right, It's what you had said, a sense

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Speaker 1: of loneliness, a sense of isolation. We have job loss,

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Speaker 1: we have drug use, we have domestic violence. We could

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Speaker 1: go on and on and on about everything that has

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Speaker 1: been in this pressure cooker that is just getting exponentially

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Speaker 1: higher in statistics. And I'm glad you're here and not

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Speaker 1: a bunch of bros. Although that would be um, well, Hannah,

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Speaker 1: that women experience more psychological trauma. They're reporting more psychological trauma,

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Speaker 1: which begs the question are women bearing more of the

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Speaker 1: emotional labor of what's happening or are men under reporting

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Speaker 1: how they feel or both. It's a it's an interesting question,

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Speaker 1: you know something to your October podcast and you're talking,

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Speaker 1: you're answering all these different questions Brooks about you know,

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Speaker 1: you know what men think and how men feel, and

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Speaker 1: of course what you think. You know, I feel this

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Speaker 1: sucks for me, but you are answering these these these

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Speaker 1: really really great questions and answering them with a lot

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Speaker 1: of heart and a lot of humor. And it had

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Speaker 1: occurred to me that's so much of what goes on

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Speaker 1: with men goes unspoken. So I want to just really

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Speaker 1: put that out there as definitely that the statistic is

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Speaker 1: weighing heavily on women. Going back to you, you're not alone. Um,

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Speaker 1: I think some of the issues here is what can

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Speaker 1: you do about it? M hm? So let's start there.

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Speaker 1: Let's start there, what what can where are some starting

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Speaker 1: points for Hanna or for anybody else who's going through this.

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Speaker 1: Aim sort of similarities where Hanna, where their life was

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Speaker 1: on a great trajectory and then COVID happened and things

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Speaker 1: have been shut down, and now they're finding themselves in

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Speaker 1: a foreign place where they're really isolated, really alone, may

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Speaker 1: be sad. Maybe some people are depressed, uncertain, unsure. All

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Speaker 1: of these things just a tidal wave coming at once.

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Speaker 1: What are some things, uh, starting points for people to

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Speaker 1: start to deal with this amount of stress? Well, Hanna,

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Speaker 1: I want to ask you, what have you already tried? What?

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Speaker 1: What did it work? Yeah? I mean I feel like

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Speaker 1: I hold a lot in and that's something that I've

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Speaker 1: just done my whole life, and I've been really trying

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Speaker 1: to just let it all out reately. Am I on you?

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Speaker 1: In a way? I think that I put up a

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Speaker 1: really tough front, and I always like to be there

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Speaker 1: for other people. But then I don't allow myself to

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Speaker 1: feel what I'm feeling, or I don't even acknowledge that

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Speaker 1: I'm having a hard day. Sometimes then it just builds

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Speaker 1: and builds, and that's when it gets hard. So you

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Speaker 1: are the receptacle, the container of everybody else's feelings. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I and I totally like being that for my friends.

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Speaker 1: And the people around me. I genuinely like to be

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Speaker 1: there for them, and I want to know what's going

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Speaker 1: on in their life and I want to be that

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Speaker 1: support system. But at times I feel like I'm missing that. Mhm.

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Speaker 1: Is there anyone that we want our relationships to be

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Speaker 1: equitable and for life, not just now, but now more

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Speaker 1: than ever. Our relationships need to be equitable. Do you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean when I say that? Yeah? Okay,

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Speaker 1: so so many of what I'm hearing, so many of

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Speaker 1: your relationships aren't equitable. I'm gonna be na because I

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Speaker 1: got a problem. And how doesn't listen all my because

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Speaker 1: that's what Hannah does. She's my emotional container. Okay. And

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, who are you able

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Speaker 1: to go to? Right? We need to make sure that

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Speaker 1: we have people in our lives where it is equitable,

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Speaker 1: where you are able to put your fears and your

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Speaker 1: stresses outside of you. And let me tell you the

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Speaker 1: power of that. Once ple we voice a fear out loud,

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Speaker 1: That fear has difficulty growing because it no longer has

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Speaker 1: a host. It's a parasite inside of you, right, So

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Speaker 1: you'll lay it out, you'll blurt out. It's so powerful

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it loses a little bit of power.

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Speaker 1: When you tell that fear and that anxiety to someone

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Speaker 1: who's actively listening, really wanting to take it from you

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Speaker 1: and hold it, it loses even more power. So now

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Speaker 1: your anxiety, now your stresses are even a little less.

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Speaker 1: So social distancing doesn't mean emotional distancing. I cannot stress

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Speaker 1: that enough. This is your personal growth. Where can you

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Speaker 1: how can you push yourself to rely on other people

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Speaker 1: to be listened to? This is your growth and by

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Speaker 1: the way, that is a lesson when you figure out

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Speaker 1: how to do it. Please tell me because I've been

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Speaker 1: almost fifty years so so you are you calling you

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Speaker 1: when when you figure out to Um, Hana, I have

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Speaker 1: a question for you. Do you believe do you believe

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Speaker 1: in your That's great advice, Dr be Us. I want

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Speaker 1: to acknowledge you for that that social distancing isn't emotional distancing.

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Speaker 1: That is wonderful, um and I want our listeners to

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Speaker 1: hear that in to receive that. Uh. And then my

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Speaker 1: question for you, Hannah is do you believe that you

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Speaker 1: have friends that you can or that can listen to

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Speaker 1: you and hear you and hear your fears and support

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Speaker 1: you and love you and be that container for you,

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Speaker 1: and that you just haven't opened that up to share

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Speaker 1: with them, or do you feel like you just don't

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Speaker 1: have those people in your life You're willing to open up,

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Speaker 1: but you have, you just don't have the people to

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Speaker 1: do it right. I definitely have a strong support system

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Speaker 1: with my family and a lot of friends. I think

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Speaker 1: where I struggle is I don't want to be the

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Speaker 1: burden for other people. And that's something that I mean,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I've just done my whole life like

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Speaker 1: i just want to put up a front where everything's okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm okay, don't worry about me, like I'm here for you.

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Speaker 1: And I've had to learn to get over that hump

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Speaker 1: of accepting that it's okay for me to have feelings

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Speaker 1: to everyone has feelings, like I'm able to feel things

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Speaker 1: to share that with others, Hana, for a second, I

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Speaker 1: want to reframe that for you and maybe our listeners.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry to interrupt you for listeners to to think

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Speaker 1: about this as well. Um by you not having that

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Speaker 1: relationship be equitable, by feeling like you're a burden, I

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Speaker 1: want to reframe that for you. It's a selfish way

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Speaker 1: to be actually quite selfish because you now control that relationship.

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Speaker 1: You now are the power dynamic of that relationship by

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Speaker 1: holding back and by everybody giving to you. It's a

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Speaker 1: powerful place to be. So it's gonna take a lot

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Speaker 1: of your vulnerability to step forward. So so many times

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Speaker 1: when we feel like we are the person, we are,

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Speaker 1: the backbone of everybody we are, that is true. I'm

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Speaker 1: just giving you another version that that is not that

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Speaker 1: that is very selfish, because other people deserve your vulnerabilities too,

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Speaker 1: So I just kind of wanted to reframe it and

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Speaker 1: hopefully like like what I'm really doing is using what

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Speaker 1: you think is helpful against you. So I don't know,

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Speaker 1: and I sure you're trying to be selfless, and I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to tell you that's a selfish way to be. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I think that's I think that's a really good point.

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Speaker 1: And it does like, if I'm being honest, I'm such

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Speaker 1: a control freak and that kind of goes with what

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Speaker 1: you just kind of like, I know I completely am

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Speaker 1: and just looking back where I am. I'm a senior

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Speaker 1: in college, and up until this point, I've kind of

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Speaker 1: known what is coming next after middle school you go

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Speaker 1: to high school. After high school, it's called and coronavirus

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Speaker 1: or not. This stage in life, I feel like it's

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Speaker 1: kind of unsettling for some people because I don't know

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Speaker 1: what's next, and not having that control or not knowing

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Speaker 1: what's coming next scares me so much, and I just

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Speaker 1: try and get all the control and other areas that

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Speaker 1: I possibly can, If that makes sense. Well, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean it's so when we know what's coming next, and

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Speaker 1: particularly someone like you, you remind me of it. Would

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Speaker 1: it be wrong to say that you're a planner? I

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Speaker 1: am a complete planner. She's and it makes her excellent

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Speaker 1: at many parts of her job, and like like she's

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Speaker 1: so good at that. Yes, these things that make us

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Speaker 1: uh successful and wonderful, and certain areas can be our

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Speaker 1: achilles heel in others. M I'm sure Brooks, as an athlete,

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Speaker 1: you probably have had this as well, right, Like, like,

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Speaker 1: what makes you strong in one area was your achilles

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Speaker 1: heel in another time it was a shadow. It was

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Speaker 1: a shadow of the light. So what made you great

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Speaker 1: on the ice may have made you I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just unemotional in a personal relationship exactly.

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Speaker 1: So it's what makes us accomplished in one area can

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Speaker 1: be our our Achilles heel in another. So this idea

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Speaker 1: that you're a planner and that I got the sense

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Speaker 1: that you are control for you, I'm so glad that

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Speaker 1: you sort of brought that to like to say it

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Speaker 1: for you. Um, it's good to know about yourself. And

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Speaker 1: so what does this mean? This means that number one,

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Speaker 1: you're going to have to continue that growth of being

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Speaker 1: a good planner, right So you don't want to stop that,

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Speaker 1: you want to continue that. How do you do that?

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you have a million in one ways. You're

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Speaker 1: the planner. You look, you write down your a Like

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Speaker 1: how do you cope with making sure you have a

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Speaker 1: plan for your days? Because I bet you this could

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Speaker 1: help our listeners and like in terms of how you

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Speaker 1: plan right well, I mean I'm sitting at my desk

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Speaker 1: right now and I'm looking at my wall and I

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Speaker 1: have sticky notes everywhere, like in rows of like Monday,

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Speaker 1: Tuesday months. Yeah, I mean, I'm such a visual person

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Speaker 1: who I like to see things and envision things, and

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Speaker 1: that's how I just plan and get organized. But the

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Speaker 1: second that anything comes into my life where I can't

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Speaker 1: plan on it happening, or I can't control how it's

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Speaker 1: going to pan out, then I freak out. That's when

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Speaker 1: I just like lose control and I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to deal with that. No, again, going back to this

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Speaker 1: being an incredible telling for your personal growth, Living in

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Speaker 1: the moment is something that you're going to have to

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Speaker 1: figure out how to do your entire life to experience joy.

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Speaker 1: How that's how we experience joy is that we live

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Speaker 1: in moments to moments, Like when we laugh, it's an

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Speaker 1: involuntary response. We're living in that moment. We were able

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Speaker 1: to bottle just a little bit of joy. And when

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Speaker 1: you're unable to live in the present, you're unable to

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Speaker 1: experience joy. And guess what that does. That that magnifies

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Speaker 1: on itself, begins to tap into all like trauma bonds.

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Speaker 1: It begins to tap into the miserable gland in your brain.

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Speaker 1: Because when we biologically, when we smile, we send muscle memory.

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Speaker 1: You're you're an athlete, Brooks. You know all about muscle memory,

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Speaker 1: the memory to our brain that makes us happy. And

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Speaker 1: when we're laughing, and then the quality of our life

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Speaker 1: gets better. The more we laugh, the more we experience joy.

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Speaker 1: The less we do that, the worst we feel. So

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Speaker 1: how do you think again, I want to ask you,

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Speaker 1: how do you think you could better live in the present?

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Speaker 1: I think just starting to let go of the control

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Speaker 1: that I have on the little things that don't really matter.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to let go of the control of

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Speaker 1: the big things that are important, Like if I have

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Speaker 1: something coming up, then I want to do everything that

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Speaker 1: I can to control the outcome is really amazing, But

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Speaker 1: the little things that I really don't need to control,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm such a perfectionist and I won't want everything

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Speaker 1: to be perfect. In acknowledging the fact that it's okay

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Speaker 1: for things to not be absolutely perfect and letting go

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Speaker 1: of that control, I think is a start. It scares me,

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Speaker 1: but it's at And that's that's the shadow side of

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Speaker 1: like your drive, like because no one you and having

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Speaker 1: worked with you, you are you are fantastic at what

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Speaker 1: you drop. Our pull We're looking after five guys our

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Speaker 1: podcast when we started had five guys and we all

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Speaker 1: felt absolutely looked after because Hannah Hada like we could

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Speaker 1: show up and it was just like we were taken

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Speaker 1: care of, Like you are amazing at your drop And

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Speaker 1: then this is the shadow part of it, where it's

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Speaker 1: where it's um what you were talking about, Dr B

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Speaker 1: about how the blessing can also show up in your

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Speaker 1: life as a curse, where this doesn't set you free

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Speaker 1: and causes you anxiety and drama and like nervousness and

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Speaker 1: stress over things that are actually maybe out of your control.

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Speaker 1: It's just it's being aware of that and then having

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Speaker 1: the subtle dance to acknowledge that, Okay, I can't control

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Speaker 1: this so much. This I really can, and I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: champion it, but this is maybe an element that I

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Speaker 1: need to leave a little grace in it for I'm

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Speaker 1: going to ask you now how you feel in this moment,

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Speaker 1: and by the way, how you felt before just changed

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Speaker 1: and it changed again, and it changed again. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think that even just letting this out and talking

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Speaker 1: to Booth the view makes me feel a lot better.

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Speaker 1: It's the reassurance side of making me feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: not alone and that it is normal, because I get

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Speaker 1: so in my head and wrapped up about oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: I feel so stressed and anxious and overwhelmed, and how

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Speaker 1: come no one else feels like this? But they do,

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Speaker 1: And it's normal, and I don't let myself acknowledge that

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Speaker 1: it's normal. I pretend like everything's fine all the time.

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Speaker 1: While I'm happy you said that, I actually was attempting

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Speaker 1: to have you live in the moment, which would be

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Speaker 1: too understand what you feel in that moment. I feel sad,

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Speaker 1: I feel angry, I feel I feel annoyed, I feel sad,

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Speaker 1: any one of those, I feel happy, any one of

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Speaker 1: those things that if you're able the pinpoint to stop

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Speaker 1: your day and really ask yourself, what am I feeling

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Speaker 1: right now? That the tool that grounds you in the

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Speaker 1: moment that takes two seconds of your time, So I

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Speaker 1: ask you again without planner kind of explanation and go

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Speaker 1: on and on and on, because it's what it's what

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Speaker 1: to do. So I want to stop you from doing it,

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Speaker 1: like I wanted either to really help you. So I

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Speaker 1: don't need to be uh hard ass, but I I

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Speaker 1: want to help you in this moment. So I love it,

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Speaker 1: like even towards me or or or any what is

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Speaker 1: it that you're feeling right now in the moment without thought?

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Speaker 1: I feel overwhelmed? Yeah, yeah, very overwhelmed because I think,

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Speaker 1: for the first time in a really long time, I'm

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Speaker 1: acknowledging what I've been feeling, and it's really overwhelming. Is

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Speaker 1: it over Can we dive? Can we unpack that a little? Honea?

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Speaker 1: Is it overwhelming with I have so many projects and

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Speaker 1: things that I have to work on right now I'll

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Speaker 1: do at the same time, like, these are things in

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Speaker 1: front of me that are overwhelming me right now? Or

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Speaker 1: is it I'm overwhelmed because I'm not sure what's coming

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Speaker 1: and the weight of that uncertainty is really making me

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Speaker 1: feel overwhelmed. Yeah, I think it's a mixture of things.

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Speaker 1: I'm overwhelmed with school. I also have been living I

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Speaker 1: feel like with a lot of guilt and feeling like

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Speaker 1: I should be spending more time with my grandparents or

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Speaker 1: my family. And that's something that I struggle with a lot.

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Speaker 1: I think to myself, why am I down here when

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Speaker 1: my parents are north northern California and so are my grandparents,

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Speaker 1: When I could be up there and I could be

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Speaker 1: using this time to have quality time with them. It

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Speaker 1: just puts a lot of things into perspective for me.

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Speaker 1: Right now, when you had you, because I can see

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Speaker 1: you are our listeners, I don't know if they will

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Speaker 1: be able to see you. You almost looked like you

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Speaker 1: were going to cry. I have been on the verge

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Speaker 1: of tears for like a week straight. Yeah, this week

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Speaker 1: has been hard for me, and it's perfect timing that

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Speaker 1: I'm able to talk to you. But yeah, I'm very

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Speaker 1: emotional right now, and I don't like to cry. I

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Speaker 1: don't like to let things out, but I try and

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Speaker 1: hold it in as you can see. But yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: very emotional right now, and I'm just overwhelmed and I

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Speaker 1: don't really know how to deal with it. Would happened,

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Speaker 1: What do you think would happen if you cried and

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Speaker 1: let it all out? I'd probably feel really good. But

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Speaker 1: I don't allow myself to do that much. And I'm

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Speaker 1: completely aware of it. I'm very self aware and I

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Speaker 1: know exactly what I'm doing. I'm telling myself not to cry,

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Speaker 1: but it would probably feel really good, and I'm in

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Speaker 1: need of a good cry. You're a little bit of

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Speaker 1: a massa chist to yourself. You don know what you

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00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:16,399
Speaker 1: need and eletely well good? Why wait from it? Our self?

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Speaker 1: Sabotage myself all the time. Yeah, I know exactly what

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Speaker 1: I need, but I don't. I cry all the time,

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Speaker 1: and it's wonderful. Yeah, it's a great It's something I've

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Speaker 1: like recently learned since the passing of our two dogs.

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Speaker 1: I've learned like how to honor emotions in the moment

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Speaker 1: and let them come up and through me and out

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Speaker 1: of me. And a lot of times that's through crying,

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00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 1: and it's and you know, Mihanna, I've played pro hockey

402
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: for fifteen years, ran through dudes into dudes. I'm a dude.

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Speaker 1: I love like being able to release emotion truthfully, organically

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Speaker 1: in the moment, not suppress it. Not I I could

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00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 1: stuff it if I want to. It's so not healthy.

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00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 1: It is so liberating to allow and give yourself the

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Speaker 1: grace and the capacity to just allow that emotion to

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Speaker 1: live and come out and then it's like, oh god,

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00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 1: that felt great and probably very freeing. It's so liberating.

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Speaker 1: Dr V. Do you like encourage people to to cry

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Speaker 1: or to let outstress or like you're you're you're hoping

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00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 1: to encourage Hannah here to do it, but like, I've

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00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,719
Speaker 1: just learned that, and it is so liberating to honor

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00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 1: those emotions and let them come to life and then

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Speaker 1: they don't persist with me. Well, you don't have a

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Speaker 1: choice because biology wins always, so you're going to end

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00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 1: up crying at some point. Oh that's wonderful yourself the space,

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00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:58,400
Speaker 1: as as Books was saying, to kind of make it sacred, right,

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Speaker 1: why at some point all of us, whether we're going

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00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 1: to get frustrated, like biology will win, we are meant

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00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:10,040
Speaker 1: to cry to release the chemicals and the toxins that

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00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:11,879
Speaker 1: are in the brain. That's why we do it. And

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00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,919
Speaker 1: there's different kinds of prize as well. They're silent crying,

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00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: they're screaming crying. There's trauma crying, there's anger crying. We

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00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 1: have happy crying, happy crying, joy crying, we have all

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00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:26,080
Speaker 1: kinds of crying because the brain is meant to do

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00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:30,640
Speaker 1: its thing. So you're gonna cry no matter what at

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00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:35,080
Speaker 1: some point, whether you like it or not. Yeah, matter

429
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 1: of do you want to? And I'm going to use

430
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: this again in your and as your benefit to con

431
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 1: hold that because you can, you can have space, a

432
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 1: sacred space where you're able to allow yourself to feel

433
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 1: your feelings and allow them to come to the surface

434
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 1: and understand that you are doing something good for yourself

435
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:06,600
Speaker 1: and even our planner. I want to encourage um, I'm

436
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 1: gonna say this, and I hope that both of you

437
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 1: don't I roll yourselves into another universe because I hear

438
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,679
Speaker 1: me say it and I want to I roll myself

439
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:23,880
Speaker 1: and the universe. Um, there are these amazing many meditations

440
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 1: five minutes of your time, manner, minutes of our day

441
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 1: where you can go on to Spotify or any other

442
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 1: place and you can play a five minute, many many

443
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 1: meditation for anything you want, whether it's to release motion,

444
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: whether it's for fear, for anger. Let's say you're overwhelmed

445
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 1: your anger, whatever may be five minutes to take for yourself.

446
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 1: And here's the rub is that sometimes we think like

447
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 1: self care is about the actual thing we do. It's

448
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 1: really about the act of just doing it. So it's

449
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: a little like gratitude. People think it's what they're great for. No,

450
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 1: it's remembering to be grateful that gives you that feeling

451
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:14,479
Speaker 1: of a cocaine hit in your brain. So it's the

452
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: act of doing it. So I wanted to just give

453
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: you a real tool to hold onto because I know

454
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 1: we're talking theoretically and a lot of times therapy is

455
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 1: about kind of theory and then reply to yourself. Um.

456
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 1: But many meditations either before you start your day or

457
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: before you go to bed, to really understand and help

458
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 1: you live in the moment. It will help you in

459
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 1: that moment. Yeah. No, that's amazing and thank you so much.

460
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. And I do want to start allowing

461
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 1: myself to help me like I I can provide myself tools.

462
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 1: I'm just not allowing myself the help. And there's about

463
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 1: this whole scenario. Um, there's something about the pandemic and

464
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 1: how it's making you feel, how it's helping you feel,

465
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 1: that's tapping in to a different trauma from the past.

466
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: You brought up a lot of guilt, you brought up

467
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 1: feeling out of control, you brought up feeling you should

468
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 1: be with your there's something that it's tapping into a

469
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 1: younger part of yourself. Um, and that's you know, that's

470
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: something for you to sort of think about. I don't

471
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 1: know if that hits you in an eye roll moment

472
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 1: or if that's sort of like, oh, let me let

473
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 1: me think about that. Is it tapping into a younger

474
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 1: pain And that's wheels so out of control? Yeah, because

475
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 1: I'm finally acknowledging all of my feelings from all of

476
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 1: like yeah, and growing up because I mean, my parents

477
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: will say all the time, like, you have no emotion,

478
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: you show no emotion, like you never cry, And when

479
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 1: I show the slightest bit of emotion then they're like,

480
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: who is this person? And I think that you're totally

481
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 1: write the pandemic and everything that's going on right now,

482
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 1: I view it as negative. But after this conversation, I

483
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 1: want to start shifting my perspective in looking at it

484
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 1: in a positive light, like You're so right. It has

485
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 1: forced me to be more in touch with my emotion

486
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 1: and for once, I'm acknowledging that I feel overwhelmed and

487
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 1: that I am stressed out and that I'm a complete

488
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:34,719
Speaker 1: control freaking I need to just let go sometimes. So

489
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:39,120
Speaker 1: there are benefits. Yeah, yeah, I have two thoughts. Um DRV.

490
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 1: You said the five minute meditation thing, um, to allow

491
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 1: yourself to feel what you're feeling. The one thing that

492
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 1: really right now in my life works exceptionally well, UM

493
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 1: is before breakfast, lunch, and supper, I will say a

494
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 1: little prayer and I just say a prayer of what's

495
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 1: on my heart. I'm grateful for my dog. I'm grateful

496
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 1: for this beautiful house and this beautiful bay. On this lake.

497
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for the air in my lungs, and just

498
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 1: I just say what comes out of mynd and a

499
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: lot of times I end up crying because it's in

500
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 1: the practice of gratitude. I also say I'm grateful for

501
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:16,480
Speaker 1: the blessings and the challenges in my life. I'm grateful

502
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 1: that life isn't just easy and and and a lot

503
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 1: of times I or like if I have friends here

504
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 1: at the house, I'm like, I'm grateful for this time

505
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 1: of connection that we create, the space to get together,

506
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 1: to serve and give to each other's life. And I

507
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 1: find myself like tearing up, and it's like wow, like

508
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 1: that actual gratitude is actually I'm not just having gratitude.

509
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 1: I'm experiencing gratitude. And so prayer has been a really

510
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 1: big one for me to be able to acknowledge what

511
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 1: I'm feeling. It's it's just practicing gratitude out loud. Um.

512
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 1: And then the other thing that I when you that

513
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 1: I thought of earlier on Haunted, when you said you

514
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 1: had great friends, You have people in your life, great

515
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: family who would would be great resources to love you

516
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 1: and support you, uh and hold you a creadle you

517
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: in whatever way mentally, physically, emotionally that you need it. Um,

518
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,959
Speaker 1: I want to tell you a little story that about

519
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 1: my mom. Um. When I started playing pro hockey, and

520
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: as a pro hockey player, I wanted to do something

521
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: very nice for my mom. I bought my dad a

522
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 1: boat as a gift, just of like, I love you, Dad,

523
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: I'm not here without you. I bought my dada boat

524
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 1: And I want to do something very nice for my mom.

525
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 1: And she's like, I don't want anything. I'm not letting

526
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 1: you buy me anything. And I'm like, Mom, you're robbing

527
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 1: your son the joy of giving a gift to his

528
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: mother because you don't want anything. And so you not

529
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:44,240
Speaker 1: opening up to your friends or your family, are robbing

530
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:48,239
Speaker 1: them the joy of being there for you in a

531
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 1: tough time in your life. How how excited are you

532
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: when somebody's in a really tough time in their life

533
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 1: and you get to be the person to hear them,

534
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: to cut to created them, to love them, to talk

535
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 1: them through it. Like the joy that you get in

536
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 1: that moment. You are not allowing others to experience that

537
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:10,840
Speaker 1: joy by not talking about yourself. But Hannah, you also

538
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 1: said something very interesting that because you have conditioned others

539
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 1: to receive you in a very specific way as unemotional,

540
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: that when you do become emotional, you don't get the

541
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 1: response that you need. That's important to think about it,

542
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 1: and I'm wondering, what do you what do you mean there?

543
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 1: Dr B? Can you can you impact that you don't

544
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,719
Speaker 1: get the response that you should needs. As Anna had

545
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 1: said it herself, Hannah had said that you explain to

546
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 1: Hannah that people are so you being one way that

547
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:49,280
Speaker 1: when you are, you don't know what to do. Yeah,

548
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:54,279
Speaker 1: and they're just so used to me in that way,

549
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:56,600
Speaker 1: and so that when I am emotional, they're not going

550
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 1: to know how to really. I mean, it's going to

551
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 1: be four to them and they're not going to really.

552
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 1: So this is something you've experienced. I got the sense

553
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 1: that this was something that you had experienced when you

554
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 1: were emotional, that because you're not you that are and

555
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: people are like, I don't know what to do with this?

556
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 1: Is that what you're That's what I thought you were saying. No, completely.

557
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: I think that because for so long I've kind of

558
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 1: allowed myself to not be emotional, and I've wanted to

559
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 1: just be the rock for everyone around me when I

560
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 1: start to show the slightest bit of emotion. Everyone so

561
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,080
Speaker 1: confused and they don't kind of know what to do

562
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 1: because they're like, wait, Hanna is showing emotion and she's

563
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 1: like has feelings, So you're so right with And I

564
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 1: don't think I really ever thought about that. It was

565
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 1: just kind of it's just normal for me, So dr

566
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 1: for Hannah in that situation, or for any of our

567
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 1: listeners that feel like that's them in their life. When

568
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 1: they start to get emotional, people like, what is this

569
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 1: You're not using? What what could Hanna or our listeners

570
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 1: do in that moment? Do they just bring voice like yeah,

571
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 1: I am emotional, Like I need you? Can you I'm struggling?

572
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 1: Can you listen? Can you? Like? How how can they

573
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 1: get the response that they desire? If the response because

574
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 1: we're not perfect beings. People are you know, people might

575
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,719
Speaker 1: not know how bad haunt and wants to really open up,

576
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 1: but she's looking for somebody to pull that out of them.

577
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 1: If they aren't pulling that out of her, how can

578
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,719
Speaker 1: she help them become aware to do that to be like,

579
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 1: I really need to hear well, sometimes we have to

580
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 1: deep pattern people in our lives, especially our parents and

581
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,320
Speaker 1: the people and our family, like you were saying, you

582
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:43,400
Speaker 1: have this good support to stem of friends and families.

583
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:50,320
Speaker 1: So I'm imagining that those relationships are long right there. There,

584
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:55,319
Speaker 1: they've been since the time you've been born. Yes, so

585
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 1: they're long relationships. Uh well, I mean you're like twenty

586
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:05,799
Speaker 1: so they're not that long, but there as long as

587
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 1: you have been alive. And so because you experience, you

588
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 1: opened up maybe once, maybe twice, and you got you

589
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 1: didn't get what you needed. Now now I know why

590
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: you're not doing that. I now know why. And I

591
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 1: find that in just this, you know, half hour of

592
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 1: talking to you, a gift that I know something about

593
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: you now that I didn't know before this. This has

594
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:42,360
Speaker 1: been a pattern and that you have been traumatized. You

595
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: haven't gotten what you needed. So that means you're going

596
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:47,800
Speaker 1: to have to be pattern the people in your life,

597
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 1: and you're going to have to tee them up. You're

598
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:54,920
Speaker 1: gonna have to say, if you can, I need you

599
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 1: right now, I need you in this moment, and I

600
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:03,319
Speaker 1: don't want your opinion. I want your support. So that's

601
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 1: something that I've been telling a lot of people lately too,

602
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 1: because everyone's full of their opinion. Look up, I don't

603
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 1: nobody wants your opinion. They just want your support. So

604
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:16,319
Speaker 1: it's important that you tell them what you need. If

605
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,440
Speaker 1: you want their opinion, and I love your opinion, but

606
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,320
Speaker 1: if you don't want their opinion, you just need support.

607
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 1: I need you and I just need your support. I

608
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:28,440
Speaker 1: want your opinions, I just want your support. So you're

609
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 1: gonna have the deep pattern those people and what does

610
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: that mean? That means you have to tea them up

611
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 1: for what they're going to expect from you, because normally

612
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 1: they would expect you to be a very certain way.

613
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 1: Now you could take that even further. You could even

614
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:49,280
Speaker 1: have more courage and have a conversation about the times

615
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:53,360
Speaker 1: you came to them and you were emotional, Yeah you

616
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:57,319
Speaker 1: received them, and that you're looking for something different, that

617
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 1: you want your relationships to be equitable, right totally. Yeah, No,

618
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 1: that makes sense. And I need to just start asking

619
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 1: for help when I need it because I know that

620
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 1: my friends and my family is so amazing, especially my parents,

621
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 1: and I know that they will listen to me. I

622
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 1: just don't allow them to listen to me. How do

623
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 1: we get the courage to do that? Though? Dr V?

624
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 1: Because that's what you're saying. I agree with completely, But

625
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 1: how do we muscle up the courage to be that

626
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 1: vulnerable to ask that, to to say to somebody like,

627
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,919
Speaker 1: I don't need your opinion, I need your support. I'm

628
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 1: really struggling because we all want to we're right, We're

629
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,800
Speaker 1: right there were It's like a cliff like we're about

630
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 1: to go over it, but we stop ourselves. How do

631
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:56,320
Speaker 1: we just push over that line and really force ourselves

632
00:39:56,360 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 1: to come out and say that, no, that the other

633
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 1: side is looking for that. Yes, about the other side.

634
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:13,080
Speaker 1: Know that the other side is waiting to receive you,

635
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 1: that the other side wants that, particularly the way you've

636
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: described your family and your friends, and by the way,

637
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say that about everybody, but we're having this

638
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 1: conversation with you, Hannah, and I know that the other

639
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:37,240
Speaker 1: side is waiting for you. Yes, the relationship equitable, right,

640
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,799
Speaker 1: but you're so strong, right, you say it the way

641
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: it is. You're the planner, and they allow you to

642
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 1: be the emotional vehicle of the relationship. They allow you

643
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 1: to be the engine. So you're asking to sit in

644
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: the passenger side. You're asking a ride shotgun. You want

645
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 1: want somebody else to drive for a second in and

646
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:03,359
Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with that because that other person wants

647
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 1: to drive. Mm hmm. Yeah. I needed to hear that.

648
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,400
Speaker 1: I learned that lesson about a year ago. Dr b

649
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 1: Um my whole life I was. I was like Hannah,

650
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,720
Speaker 1: I was great at being strong for myself. I could.

651
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:23,360
Speaker 1: I was tough. I could, I could will myself through things.

652
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 1: I could suppress emotion I could. And what what what

653
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:27,760
Speaker 1: ended up happening is that put me on an island

654
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:31,760
Speaker 1: all by myself, and I realized I really wasn't that strong.

655
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 1: And what the growth that I needed to make was

656
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 1: I needed to become strong enough to ask for help

657
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 1: and to accept help and to let other first. Actually,

658
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 1: even before before that, it was let others know that

659
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:49,240
Speaker 1: I'm struggling, that I need help. And when I crossed

660
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 1: that bridge, that was one of the proudest moments in

661
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:54,719
Speaker 1: my life. I'm like, I'm so proud of myself that

662
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: I've learned that I don't have to be strong. I

663
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 1: can be, but I don't have to be you, but

664
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 1: that I'm strong enough to let my closest people in

665
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 1: my life know that I need help, that I need

666
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 1: support and then the tidal wave of support from these people.

667
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:11,840
Speaker 1: They're like, oh my god, I love like like the

668
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 1: clear schedules they come over right now, like they're just

669
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 1: they show up the present. They're gonna text you tomorrow,

670
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 1: will call you to more, They're gonna follow up how

671
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 1: you doing, just checking in how's your heart? Like they

672
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 1: are gonna show up in your life in as a

673
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 1: tidal wave that is just and then that reaffirms like

674
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: oh my god, I should open up again about something.

675
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 1: But it takes the courage on the first time to

676
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: do it. But upon I'm really like, I'm so excited

677
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:40,919
Speaker 1: for you because I feel like you're going to take

678
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:44,400
Speaker 1: that step and your mom is gonna be so proud

679
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:47,359
Speaker 1: and happy to talk to you. Your dad and they're

680
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 1: could be like I think got a little girl his

681
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 1: our little girl like grown woman but sharing your heart.

682
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:54,799
Speaker 1: So proud of you, you know, as a as a

683
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 1: friend of yours, Like I would love it if you

684
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 1: called me and you said books, I need I need

685
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 1: an ear. You know, I'm like, Okay, let me clear

686
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 1: everything and just be here for you. It's such a

687
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,719
Speaker 1: gift to allow people to step into that place, be

688
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 1: in that place. What an honoring of that person that

689
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 1: you trust them with your heart and your emotions. What

690
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 1: a beautiful way to honor them. But I also say

691
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,359
Speaker 1: that I don't want you to self sabotage because a

692
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 1: lot of times the planner be a person who's emotionally withholding,

693
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:32,120
Speaker 1: and that's what you're doing. You're emotionally withholding. Will purposefully

694
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 1: choose the wrong person to open up really yourself, you

695
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 1: will purposely because you want to. You wanna, You're gonna

696
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:46,319
Speaker 1: have that self fulfilling prophecy, You're gonna you're right, so

697
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:50,359
Speaker 1: be I want you to not get caught in that draft, right,

698
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 1: not subconsciously control. Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm wanna,

699
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:56,839
Speaker 1: I'm wanna. I want to be in control. I'm gonna

700
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:58,719
Speaker 1: make sure that don't have to share. I'm gonna make

701
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 1: sure you have to remain the same all the time

702
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 1: now like I am fixed in stone, I'm not going

703
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 1: to change, and I'm gonna make sure I choose the

704
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 1: wrong person to open up to. So it's about really

705
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 1: making sure that you choose the right person to open

706
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 1: up to. And I said, it makes total sense, And

707
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 1: I have a very very strong support system and I'm

708
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,840
Speaker 1: very lucky, and I feel so grateful for the people

709
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 1: in my life, and I need to start I mean

710
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 1: using them in talking to them, because they're in my

711
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:40,720
Speaker 1: life for a reason. Brooks, you to speak to um

712
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 1: humanity as a whole, that we have been sold a

713
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:52,359
Speaker 1: lot um. So anthropologically and biologically humans are meant to cooperate.

714
00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:57,600
Speaker 1: That is how we have survived. We are meant to

715
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:03,280
Speaker 1: join in joy and pain and happiness. Which is why

716
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 1: so mental things is happening now. Is we're unable to

717
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 1: brush up against each other in a store, We're unable

718
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 1: to see faces, were unable to experience, uh, the social

719
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:24,799
Speaker 1: animals that we are UM. And it really speaks to

720
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:27,799
Speaker 1: humans as a whole that we are meant for cooperation,

721
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 1: that we are not warlike creatures being sold. All of

722
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 1: that research has been debunked with chimpanzees and monkeys forever,

723
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:42,400
Speaker 1: and yet we continue to perpetuate this lie um. Humans

724
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:47,239
Speaker 1: are meant to cooperate, We're meant to commune. People want

725
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 1: to commune with you, and that's why I know on

726
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 1: the other side someone's waiting for you. I know that

727
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 1: for effect, because biology and science wins every time, and

728
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,759
Speaker 1: we call apart in our Western world, our hearts and

729
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 1: our heads, and then science and statistics over here they're

730
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:09,400
Speaker 1: the same. They're there, they're the same that if you

731
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 1: follow the through line, they just go hand in hand

732
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:15,400
Speaker 1: and they make sense. So your biology and your science

733
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:19,919
Speaker 1: is going to win. Because humans were meant to cooperate

734
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:25,319
Speaker 1: and commune in difficult times, and because we're not able

735
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 1: to do that, we're living unnaturally and it's tapping into

736
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:33,719
Speaker 1: people's inability to sleep, their inability to eat, or overreading

737
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:36,400
Speaker 1: or drug use or whatever it may be. Whatever we're

738
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:41,279
Speaker 1: humans are pushed to be unnatural. Um, there are consequences

739
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:44,880
Speaker 1: to that. So going back to what you were saying Brooks,

740
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:50,319
Speaker 1: there is a larger picture of of why, Um, you're

741
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:54,479
Speaker 1: experiencing the other side in such a nice way. Yeah,

742
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 1: and also to to put to take some of the

743
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 1: stress off you, Hannah, and and any of our listeners too.

744
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:05,360
Speaker 1: Is is what you alluded to earlier, Dr v Um.

745
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 1: A lot of the conditioning and the muscles that I've

746
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 1: built to be able to perform in my career as

747
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 1: a professional athlete, I strengthened those so much to perform

748
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 1: in that arena that it was impossible for that also

749
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 1: not to bleed into my personal life. So it's not

750
00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 1: like I didn't want to be emotional. It was just

751
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,799
Speaker 1: I had practiced sensory deprivation. I've talked about this on

752
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:35,840
Speaker 1: this podcast so many times. I I practiced and trained

753
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:39,439
Speaker 1: sensory deprivation so I could go harder, longer, feel no pain,

754
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 1: not here, noise, dosia, distraction in a twenty person building,

755
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 1: I was a robot, and that allowed me to perform

756
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 1: in that arena of sport. But it's subtract or detracted

757
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 1: from my emotional capacity as a human being. And so

758
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,399
Speaker 1: it didn't mean I was a flawed person. That didn't

759
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 1: mean I was a bad person had all these I

760
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:05,440
Speaker 1: wasn't capable of all these things. And just like you, Hannah,

761
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:09,400
Speaker 1: like you have amazing skills that you have cultivated to

762
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 1: achieve at a high level in your professional life, and

763
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:17,440
Speaker 1: it's impossible for that part of you not to also

764
00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:20,720
Speaker 1: just subtly bleed into the personal side of your life.

765
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 1: And so it's not a flaw within you that you

766
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 1: haven't been able to open up. But dr V and Hannah,

767
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,839
Speaker 1: you have brought attention to the fact now that it's

768
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 1: okay to that you. We are all struggling and we

769
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 1: want to open up. So now it's on Now, it's

770
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 1: on us. Now it's time to take the ownership of

771
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 1: that and to be the take our step forward. And Hannah,

772
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:43,879
Speaker 1: you've heard me say it on this podcast many times.

773
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: Part of the reason why I wanted to do this

774
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 1: podcast is because I'm not good at opening up. I'm

775
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 1: not good at talking. Guys talk about things, their trucks,

776
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 1: the game, whatever, they talk about things fishing, but they

777
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 1: don't talk about our hearts and what we're feeling. And

778
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 1: I was the king of that, and that's why I

779
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:03,240
Speaker 1: wanted to do this podcast. And Gavin, you know, Gavin

780
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,440
Speaker 1: was also the king of that, and that's why we

781
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,879
Speaker 1: wanted to do this podcast. And we've said it many times.

782
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,320
Speaker 1: We want to step forward. What's our purpose of this podcast.

783
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:13,399
Speaker 1: We want to step forward as men, masculine men, step

784
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,719
Speaker 1: forward and set down our armor, and in doing so,

785
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 1: every other man around us sets down here and be like,

786
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:24,320
Speaker 1: thank God, because I'm also dealing with this. I'm also

787
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 1: dealing with this, but this is doing this podcast is

788
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,799
Speaker 1: a way for me to practice this. This is why

789
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 1: I do it. So Hannah, I and I feel like

790
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:33,840
Speaker 1: you're a much more evolved person than I am, even hanted,

791
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:37,840
Speaker 1: So you have the capability within you and the power

792
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 1: within you to reach out to people, and it's gonna

793
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 1: be so liberating and exciting and you're gonna enjoy it.

794
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:47,319
Speaker 1: It's actually not scary. You're gonna enjoy it. It's gonna

795
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,839
Speaker 1: feel so good for you to share those things. So

796
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 1: however I can help, I just want to support you

797
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:56,239
Speaker 1: and saying you love and hope that you, um you

798
00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 1: do reach out to those people because they are waiting,

799
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 1: as dr B that they're waiting for you with open arms.

800
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:05,279
Speaker 1: On the other side, well, thank you, I mean, I

801
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 1: appreciate it. And talking with you two today has just

802
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:11,760
Speaker 1: even made me feel a little little bit lighter in itself,

803
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:16,120
Speaker 1: and it's given me motivation to just keep talking about things,

804
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 1: and it's made the process I feel a little bit

805
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 1: less scary because you guys have been so receptive, and

806
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 1: I know that if I'm getting this reaction from you guys,

807
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,959
Speaker 1: people in my life will be there, like you said,

808
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 1: with open arms, and they're ready to help. I even

809
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,279
Speaker 1: see even see like me, Hanna, like my face is

810
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 1: glued at the screen. Um, whereas before I was sitting

811
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 1: back here is because like it's just natural as a human,

812
00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:46,240
Speaker 1: Like we all have hearts and we care about people.

813
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 1: And I know you and I care about you, and

814
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 1: I know you at a tenth of the degree that

815
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:53,799
Speaker 1: everybody else in your life knows you. Um, but it's

816
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:57,480
Speaker 1: pulling me into like be closer, and our listeners can't

817
00:50:57,480 --> 00:51:00,400
Speaker 1: see if my face is dammed up against and like

818
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 1: because I just I already feel drawn to you, already

819
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:05,879
Speaker 1: feel drawn to support and to love you, and that

820
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 1: that this person is this opening up and like I'm here,

821
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 1: and so that same reaction is going to be present

822
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:16,960
Speaker 1: through your friends or your family. Are the people who

823
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:19,399
Speaker 1: are closest in your life and closest to your heart,

824
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 1: they are just going to lead into it with all

825
00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:24,600
Speaker 1: of theirs. So I hope you do it real soon.

826
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:27,319
Speaker 1: And I want to say one of the things to

827
00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:34,880
Speaker 1: you as a planner, reassure the worrior in you that

828
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 1: there is time to do everything you want to do

829
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 1: with your life, but you are not losing time. Reassure

830
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 1: the worrior in you. And I think doing that for

831
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 1: you will be very helpful on a regular basis because

832
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 1: you're planning because you're stressed and you're worried. That's that's

833
00:51:57,200 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 1: the copy of that. That's because you've had to cope

834
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:05,719
Speaker 1: with other feelings, and that's why you're a planner. And

835
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 1: I just want you to reassure the warrior insiderself that

836
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:12,000
Speaker 1: there is time to do the things you want to

837
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 1: do with your life. Yeah. I really appreciate that. I

838
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:17,839
Speaker 1: mean seriously from the bottom of my heart, because I

839
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 1: am such a warrior and I overthink and I think

840
00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:23,359
Speaker 1: too much. My dad always tells me, you think too much.

841
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 1: But I just need to start having conversations with myself.

842
00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 1: And I think the first step is just acknowledging it

843
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:35,920
Speaker 1: within me that it's everything is just going to be okay.

844
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:39,160
Speaker 1: You just got to let it out. And things happen

845
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,840
Speaker 1: for a reason. I always try to remind myself that

846
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:47,200
Speaker 1: things happen for a reason. Also, Hannah, we have the

847
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 1: most successful podcast in the world. Everybody in the world

848
00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:51,000
Speaker 1: listens to it. So everybody in the world is going

849
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 1: to know your problems now. So even if you you've

850
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 1: already you've already opened up, even if you don't know it,

851
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:00,279
Speaker 1: because your mom's gonna listen to your dad's gonn listen

852
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 1: to it, and people are gonna be calling you alright, girl,

853
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 1: like open up. So you you've you've announced it to

854
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: the world already, Um, why not? Now everyone knows. Everyone knows.

855
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be getting calls in text starting next week.

856
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:20,960
Speaker 1: Thanks guys, Thanks a lot, Um, We love you, Thank

857
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:22,440
Speaker 1: you so much. I just want to acknowledge you for

858
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:26,680
Speaker 1: your courage, because the bravery and the courage to step

859
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 1: forth and share that, to share that publicly on this

860
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:34,800
Speaker 1: platform is so courageous. And undoubtedly there are many many

861
00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 1: women and men listening to this that are seeing themselves

862
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:44,359
Speaker 1: in your story exactly and will then go and open up.

863
00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:46,880
Speaker 1: That's our hope with this episode is they will also

864
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,480
Speaker 1: open up to their community, to there, as Dr VI says,

865
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 1: equitable friends and show them love and honor them and

866
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:56,120
Speaker 1: honor themselves by opening up and say hey, I'm part

867
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:59,640
Speaker 1: of I'm part of us. I need you, I need

868
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 1: your heart. I don't need your opinion everything that DRV said,

869
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:06,640
Speaker 1: But you've undoubtedly inspired people, Hannah, Um, You've inspired me,

870
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:10,200
Speaker 1: and I just want to acknowledge you for your courage

871
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:12,040
Speaker 1: and your heart. You've always been a joy to our

872
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:15,359
Speaker 1: podcast and joy to be around. Thank you. It means

873
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:18,080
Speaker 1: a lot. I mean, this was the most that I've

874
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:21,880
Speaker 1: let out in months, and I really mean that, Like

875
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:25,839
Speaker 1: I have not talked for this long about my emotions

876
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:29,160
Speaker 1: in years, and it feels good. It does feel good,

877
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:34,839
Speaker 1: and it's encouraged me to just keep keep opening up

878
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:38,880
Speaker 1: and letting go of the warrior inside of me and

879
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:42,560
Speaker 1: letting go of the control. And I really will take

880
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:45,240
Speaker 1: everything to heart. I mean, I'm already looking at my planner.

881
00:54:45,239 --> 00:54:47,760
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want to write down everything that Dr

882
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:51,680
Speaker 1: V has said and rita at the beginning of my days,

883
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:56,360
Speaker 1: because I mean, you said it best. You just gotta

884
00:54:56,640 --> 00:55:01,360
Speaker 1: trust yourself and everything's gonna work out. M Dr V.

885
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 1: I want to thank you as well for pouring your

886
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:06,839
Speaker 1: heart into this conversation, pouring your heart into Hannah, and

887
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:10,800
Speaker 1: our listeners are undoubtedly going to thank you. Um where

888
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:13,919
Speaker 1: can where can our listeners find more of you? Where?

889
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 1: On social media? On TV? Where can they find you?

890
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 1: It's a great question. It's always a brain teaser for me.

891
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 1: So because you're everywhere, I write all down. So it's

892
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 1: my Instagram is a doctor d O C T O R,

893
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 1: A spell doctor, Underscore V Underscore Um, you can find

894
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:36,960
Speaker 1: me on Twitter at d r underscore v underscore tweet. Um,

895
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:40,560
Speaker 1: and you can find me. Uh, you know you can.

896
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:42,440
Speaker 1: My first name as Venus. You can look up in

897
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 1: the sky and see me every now and again. So right,

898
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:47,600
Speaker 1: can you tell where can we Where can we get

899
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:51,359
Speaker 1: the new book? Anywhere? Books are sold? Anywhere? Books are sold?

900
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaker 1: So bad advice how to survive and thrive in an

901
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:58,000
Speaker 1: age of bulls? I love it. What can you tell

902
00:55:58,080 --> 00:55:59,440
Speaker 1: us about the book? Just tell you, give us a

903
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:02,160
Speaker 1: little snip it. Well. Um. The New York Post dubbed

904
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 1: it as one of the top five books that will

905
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 1: change your life. So I think that that's when I

906
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,640
Speaker 1: got that actoe. I was like, wow, that's good for you.

907
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:15,279
Speaker 1: It doesn't deserve that. I don't think the New York

908
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 1: Post gets those things wrong. Wonderful very um. You know

909
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,880
Speaker 1: it's it's unique in a way as though. It feels

910
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:27,920
Speaker 1: as if you're having a conversation with your good friend

911
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,880
Speaker 1: over a glass of wine. And that's what I wanted

912
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:35,279
Speaker 1: it to have. I wanted you to have really um

913
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 1: my voice and and really be reaching through the page.

914
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:43,640
Speaker 1: And and my goal with with really any creative endeavor

915
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 1: is Hopefully it helps you change the way you see

916
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 1: the world. It helps just shift your world view, even

917
00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:56,879
Speaker 1: if it's a millimeter, it means that I have done

918
00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:59,919
Speaker 1: my job. So wonderful. Grab the book. I think you'll

919
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 1: of it. You'll laugh a lot. It's super fun. You'll

920
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:05,760
Speaker 1: learn a lot about yourself and about the world. And

921
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:08,480
Speaker 1: and and Jojoy and thank you so much for having

922
00:57:08,480 --> 00:57:12,760
Speaker 1: me Brooks and Hannah. Thank you again for uh really

923
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 1: trusting both of us with um, yourself and your heart.

924
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:20,960
Speaker 1: And if you think that with us, god damn you

925
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:26,440
Speaker 1: can do that with other people. Yeah. Yeah, wonderful, wonderful Hanna,

926
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Dr V, thank you so much.

927
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 1: Once again. The book is called Bad Advice, How to

928
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:34,440
Speaker 1: Survive and Thrive in an Age of bull s. Um,

929
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:36,520
Speaker 1: thank you so much, guys. Dr V would love to

930
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:38,240
Speaker 1: have you back on here. We got to get the

931
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 1: other guys on here because Hannah is very welcomposed. We

932
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:45,840
Speaker 1: got train wrecks of other guys here that that that

933
00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:49,200
Speaker 1: needs your help. So UM, thank you so much, Dr BE. Hannah,

934
00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 1: we love you, I miss you. Can't wait to see

935
00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:53,600
Speaker 1: your face again soon. And to everyone else listening, thank

936
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:56,480
Speaker 1: you for tuning in. This has been wonderful chat, wonderful discussion.

937
00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 1: Until next week. Take care of one another, love one another,

938
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:00,800
Speaker 1: and we'll see you back here for another episode of

939
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 1: How Men Think