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Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Elsey. I'm in New York City and

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Speaker 1: I'm swety. I'm a sweaty Betty. I went to the

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Speaker 1: wrong studio this morning.

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Speaker 2: Not your fault.

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Speaker 1: I've been all over town, up and downtown. It's only

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Speaker 1: two o'clock in the afternoon and I've already changed my

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Speaker 1: underwear twice.

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Speaker 2: Great getting a little puma down there.

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Speaker 1: It's a little moist over here in New York. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I'm only here for three more days. I'm on

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Speaker 1: my transition to my work. First I come to New York,

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Speaker 1: then I go farther east, and then I go farther east.

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Speaker 2: That's what we did when we went to New yorka

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Speaker 2: with you.

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Speaker 3: We like stopped in New York and saw some Broadway

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Speaker 3: shows with a friend, and then we, you know, pieced

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Speaker 3: out to Spain for a week, which was I know.

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Speaker 1: I'm not seeing any Broadway shows this week, but I've

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Speaker 1: been invited to a couple. But I'm just trying to

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Speaker 1: pop into my favorite restaurants since i'll be out of

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Speaker 1: town and see all my friends that i haven't seen.

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Speaker 1: I like to make my presence known when I am

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Speaker 1: in town because I'm gone so much. I'll be out

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Speaker 1: of town for eight weeks now, and Doug is going

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Speaker 1: to sleep away camp for a month where he's going

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Speaker 1: to learn how to come when I call him.

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Speaker 2: And not beyond everything hopefully.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's yeah, my baby, my baby, I love my baby.

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Speaker 3: Well, I know you'll miss him, but we are very

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Speaker 3: excited to see you move off to my Orca and

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Speaker 3: have some fun for a while.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you can tune into my Instagram to watch me

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Speaker 1: with my nieces and nephews while I'm corrupting them perfection.

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Speaker 1: I'm reading a book right now called Hamnet.

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Speaker 3: I've heard that's good. It's on my little to read list.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm halfway through. It's nice. I like things that

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Speaker 1: are set like centuries ago, so yeah, I have to

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Speaker 1: you know, m.

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Speaker 3: H, I'm reading something right now that's set a couple

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Speaker 3: centuries ago, and like it's a little bit of like

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Speaker 3: an unlikable main character, like like that kind of a

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Speaker 3: witch and a bitch like yeah.

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Speaker 1: I like that. Though I know it's not often you

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Speaker 1: have an unlikable main character, but I yeah, sometimes prefer that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's called Fine Shade with a y Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: We have a very fun guest day.

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Speaker 1: Who oh my god, I'm excited. He's so ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: He's so funny, and tonight is the season finale of.

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Speaker 1: His show, season finale of Hacks. Everybody, he created Hacks,

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Speaker 1: which is a great show with Jean Smart and Hannah

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Speaker 1: einbeinder On Max and our friend and guest today is

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Speaker 1: the person responsible for it? Well, he and his wife

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Speaker 1: are responsible for it and bestie and bestie. Yeah, oh

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Speaker 1: that's right, him and his wife and their best friend.

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Speaker 1: They're a threatfle Please welcome Paul W Downs. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: you're so ridiculous. Paul W have you ever been on

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Speaker 1: a zoom before? We have what aren't you? Aren't you

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Speaker 1: a showrunner?

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Speaker 4: I am, but we don't usually have echo issues.

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Speaker 1: Just to fill our listeners in, Paul W went from

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Speaker 1: his closet or some sort of bunker and it was

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Speaker 1: all it was all wood, so there was an echo.

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Speaker 1: And then we told him he had maybe if we

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Speaker 1: could get into bed or something. He didn't want to

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Speaker 1: do that. We offered you to get into bed, and

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Speaker 1: instead you went around the corner into some is this

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Speaker 1: a birthing room that you're in? Now?

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Speaker 4: This is a bedroom. This is the bedroom. There is

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Speaker 4: a bed, but here's the thing. It's a laptop, so

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Speaker 4: I have to hold the laptop.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, I just want

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Speaker 1: me to be as comfortable as possible, because great, you're

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Speaker 1: stressing me out.

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Speaker 4: Oh no, don't get stressed.

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Speaker 1: Paul congratulations on season three of the Very Funny, very

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Speaker 1: Successful Hacks on HBO. Max. Well we call it Max now, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I suppose so legally we must, Yeah, yes, we must.

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Speaker 1: How has this experience been because Okay, to fill our

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Speaker 1: listeners in, Paul writes with his wife Lucia. Lucia and

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Speaker 1: you guys came up with this, right, we did.

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Speaker 5: We came up with it with our very best friend,

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Speaker 5: Jen Statsky, who's our our third showrunner.

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Speaker 1: Okay, right, I have a very good friend from high

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Speaker 1: school named Jen Satsky.

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Speaker 4: No way, yeah, So, and did you go to high

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Speaker 4: school in New Jersey?

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Speaker 1: I did Livingston High School. So tell Jen.

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Speaker 4: I'm from New Jersey. My parents are from Randolph and Dover.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: First, all I should say I should have started with

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Speaker 5: huge fans. But also I've always thought you could be

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Speaker 5: in my family. You just I just get the vibe

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Speaker 5: you'd fit right in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm very I'm a very Jersey girl at heart.

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Speaker 1: That's really where the edge of the edges come. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so are you right?

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Speaker 4: I'm a Jersey girl too. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Would you compare yourself to Snookie at all?

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Speaker 4: No, I'm not a snooky.

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Speaker 5: I'm more of Martha Stewart. I gotta say, you pick

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Speaker 5: a Jersey girl that I feel is yeah, I.

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Speaker 1: Do too, because she's got the right amount of bitch.

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Speaker 1: Well she's got an extra amount of bitch, which I respect.

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Speaker 4: I do too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I got heavy on the bitch and light on the

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Speaker 4: duck face.

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Speaker 1: She's light on the pleasant trees. Yeah, she doesn't care.

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Speaker 1: She doesn't have time. Every time I see her, she's like,

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Speaker 1: who are you with, Chelsea? Who brought who's your plus one?

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Speaker 1: That's all she cares about. And I'm like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: like I like that. She cuts to the chase, like

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Speaker 1: I don't want to say it's so hot today either

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Speaker 1: to anyone, you know. Yeah, it's embarrassing. Okay, So tell

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Speaker 1: us because I know that you said you said you

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Speaker 1: were quoted as saying that women are funnier than men.

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Speaker 4: Well, yeah, I do.

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Speaker 1: That's a good thing for men to start saying, you know,

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Speaker 1: just start practicing that agreed, and is that why you

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Speaker 1: wanted to do a sh show senator on a female comedian.

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Speaker 5: Yes, we were talking about how my first, the first

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Speaker 5: live stand up show, like real stand up show I

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Speaker 5: ever saw was Paula Pundstone in Morriston, New Jersey, and

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Speaker 5: there were just like so many stand ups that we

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Speaker 5: were talking about that never got the same du that

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Speaker 5: a ton of their male counterparts did. And we were

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Speaker 5: just like, it's interesting, especially, you know, because I met

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Speaker 5: my wife and Jen in New York at the UCB

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Speaker 5: and we were like, you know, part of that alt

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Speaker 5: comedy scene, which also.

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Speaker 1: Are you I'm sorry, are you guys a throutble?

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Speaker 4: We're not atle sexually? We do not. The three of

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Speaker 4: us don't have sex.

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Speaker 1: Okay, just checking, I'm just clarifying, But that's good to know.

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Speaker 1: So is Jen Does she have a partner slash lover?

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Speaker 4: She does? She has a husband actually.

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Speaker 1: Okay, because that's very relevant to this conversation.

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Speaker 4: She does have a husband.

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Speaker 5: He would probably be fine if we, you know, became sexual,

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Speaker 5: but we're.

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Speaker 1: Not, okay, which we're not. Don't count your chickens before

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Speaker 1: they hatch. You never know what's down on the Pike.

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Speaker 4: That's exactly right, especially right way.

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Speaker 1: But I like the way I used it.

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Speaker 5: I did too, I did too, So not a throtfle

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Speaker 5: but yeah, we we just were like in this all

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Speaker 5: comedy scene also where there was a little bit of

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Speaker 5: like what's cool comedy, what's not cool comedy? You know,

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Speaker 5: and we were interested in exploring what it was like

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Speaker 5: for like a younger comedian who maybe thought someone like

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Speaker 5: Debora Vance was a hack not a cool comedy person,

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Speaker 5: what it would be like for her to understand like

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Speaker 5: all of the all of the indignities that person suffered

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Speaker 5: to like pave the way for other comedians like her.

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Speaker 5: So when we thought of it, we wrote an email

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Speaker 5: to each other that was just like the log line

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Speaker 5: of the show, and we could not stop thinking about

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Speaker 5: it anytime we hung it out, we talked about it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it is such a great idea for a

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Speaker 1: show to look at something that way. I would have

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Speaker 1: thought in the opposite direction, like to prove this tough,

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Speaker 1: tough bad guy was like really did have a heart.

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Speaker 1: But that's also part of the story too with gens

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Speaker 1: Smarts character, right.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, a very person.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a like a love affair between Hannah

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Speaker 1: and Jean Smart.

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Speaker 5: It is a love affair, and we actually talk about

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Speaker 5: it that way. We talk about the thaw all the time.

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Speaker 4: Ah goe, Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: So you did. You never did stand up when you

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Speaker 1: were at UCB.

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Speaker 4: I did do stand up. I did. I did mostly

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Speaker 4: sketch an improv, but I did do stand up.

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Speaker 5: And actually it was because I did stand up and

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Speaker 5: I found it a lonely and b like what I

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Speaker 5: was doing was like a lot of like character.

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Speaker 4: I would often be.

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Speaker 5: Like, hey, I have some tech, and people at clubs

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Speaker 5: would be like what. And now I feel like there's

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Speaker 5: a lot of tech in stand up, Like you go

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Speaker 5: to a show and it's like power points and tons

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Speaker 5: of stuff.

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Speaker 4: But I don't know it just it didn't feel like

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Speaker 4: the right place.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what you're fucking talking about. I have

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Speaker 1: never seen a PowerPoint presentation at a stand up show.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I understand differentiation between alternative and stand up

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Speaker 1: because Hanna is alternative. I would describe Hanna as comedy

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Speaker 1: as alternative, which I just did in an article at

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Speaker 1: the Wall Street Journal or something like that for her,

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Speaker 1: because because she is alternative, like she has tech.

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Speaker 4: Yes, she does have tech. That's right, she does. That's

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Speaker 4: a great Yes, she did a perfect example of it.

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Speaker 1: Paul W. Do you think Hannah's character is written after

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Speaker 1: you is like loosely based on you.

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Speaker 4: No, She's the closest to Jen and the reason.

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Speaker 5: I mean, there is parts of myself and Lucia and

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Speaker 5: Jen in the character, and also parts of us at

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Speaker 5: Deborah as well.

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Speaker 4: Again, I'm a Martha.

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Speaker 5: Stewart, and I feel like the biggest similarity is that

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Speaker 5: Jen Early, when Twitter was like just popping off, she

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Speaker 5: became very successful on Twitter. I do know, can you

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Speaker 5: be successful? A lot of people followed her, and she

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Speaker 5: got hired essentially. I mean, she had a great packet,

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Speaker 5: I'm sure, but she was hired to write for Jimmy Fallon,

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Speaker 5: and I think part of her discovery was because she

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Speaker 5: was so well liked her comedy. Her jokes were so

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Speaker 5: good on Twitter, So that part of the origin story

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Speaker 5: of the character.

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Speaker 4: Is borrowed from Jen's life. But there's a little bit

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Speaker 4: of all of us in that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, it's nice to have a team of

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Speaker 1: three when you're doing anything creative because that gives you

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Speaker 1: two heads to bounce ideas off of, so you can

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Speaker 1: really like check the box of you know, because sometimes

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Speaker 1: when you're working with yourself, you always have to bounce

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Speaker 1: it off of someone else before you can put it

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Speaker 1: live or write it down. Because I do. Actually that's

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Speaker 1: not true. I don't, but I but I do. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I do. If I'm like on the fence about something

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Speaker 1: I know, bounce it off a couple of people to

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Speaker 1: get the reaction. All I usually need is one confirmation.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I was right, that's funny, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you say it out loud to see if there's a reaction,

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Speaker 1: and if there's not, you walk away, you know, with

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Speaker 1: your head between your legs.

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Speaker 5: Right or like me, because I've continued to do stand

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Speaker 5: up to a certain degree, not enough to be maybe

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Speaker 5: considered one. But I will keep doing a bit that

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Speaker 5: doesn't work. If I feel like it works for you,

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Speaker 5: truly yours, I just keep doing it.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I think that's funny. If I do something

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Speaker 1: twice and two times it doesn't work, I don't do

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Speaker 1: it again.

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Speaker 4: That's probably the way to do it.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't think there are any rules to anything.

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Speaker 1: There really aren't the goal I think for every creative

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Speaker 1: And you tell me if you disagree in any way

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Speaker 1: is to be confident in their with they're creating. To

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Speaker 1: have confidence in your creative ability. And when you're confident

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Speaker 1: in what you're creating like that, you can smell that,

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Speaker 1: and when you're not, you can smell it. So if

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Speaker 1: you're on stage doing something that doesn't work and you're

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Speaker 1: confident about it, it will still work.

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Speaker 4: Right. Yeah, I think that's true.

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Speaker 5: I don't lose an audience because I think it's funny.

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Speaker 5: It does tickle me, and I do think that's something that.

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Speaker 1: Please use that expression on this podcast, that it tickles you. No,

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Speaker 1: it's like that's a personal request.

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Speaker 4: Oh good to know. You don't like to be tickled?

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Speaker 1: No, I don't. I don't like that. I don't like

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Speaker 1: the word tickle. I find it very molesty. You know,

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Speaker 1: get a tickle. It's like, no, thank you, I'm not

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Speaker 1: coming to get a tickle. Or tickle your fancy is

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Speaker 1: another expression that I could do without, but I use

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Speaker 1: it all the time in spite of it because it's

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Speaker 1: so stupid. This might tickle your fancy, but it's evocative.

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Speaker 1: It's very evocative.

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Speaker 4: But no, I think you're right.

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Speaker 5: You have to be confident and you have to enjoy

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Speaker 5: it yourself. That's one of the things that having three

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Speaker 5: of us it is good because we're so confident because

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Speaker 5: if we can make one of the other three laugh,

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Speaker 5: My favorite audience are the two of them, and so

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Speaker 5: we're constantly trying to make each other laugh. But it's

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Speaker 5: also great because we have a tiebreaker, So that's also

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Speaker 5: there's a really good part of the three in creative

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Speaker 5: collaboration because of that too.

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Speaker 1: So you guys want a bunch of Emmys. You went

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Speaker 1: on your honeymoon, Is this correct, and then you flew

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Speaker 1: back straight to the Emmys.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, well, we we weirdly because because of when the

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Speaker 5: Emmys were happening, we did our honeymoon before our wedding,

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Speaker 5: so we got married.

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Speaker 4: I mean, the truth, the true story is this.

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Speaker 1: We don't know if I could get it up to

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Speaker 1: do that, like do it in reverse, I might oh,

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Speaker 1: or maybe I would do the honeymoon and then leave

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Speaker 1: before the marriage.

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Speaker 5: It was great to do in reverse because I'm like, no, well,

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Speaker 5: we we actually found out like eleven days before our

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Speaker 5: honeymoon that she was two months pregnant, which we did

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Speaker 5: not plan.

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Speaker 1: The baby, and the baby was yours and.

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Speaker 4: The baby was mine as far as I know.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, obviously that's something to look into, m hm.

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Speaker 5: So we went on our honeymoon, we got married, and

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Speaker 5: then we came back and like four days later were

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Speaker 5: the Emmys.

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Speaker 4: So it was a really crazy month.

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Speaker 1: And then you won Emmys. How many Emmys did you

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Speaker 1: win that night?

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Speaker 4: I only won one? Did she had to do that night?

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Speaker 4: Gene won one?

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Speaker 5: I mean there were there were there were a few

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Speaker 5: emis for the show, but I personally took home one.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk about Jeane Smart. Tell me about your experience

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Speaker 1: with because Jean Smart lost her husband at the beginning

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Speaker 1: of this series. I remember Handa was telling me that

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Speaker 1: and then she had this huge resurgence at the same time,

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Speaker 1: which I find those things kind of coincide in people's

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Speaker 1: lives all the time, right, there could be a big

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Speaker 1: loss and then there could be like a major shift

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Speaker 1: in a different area. So tell us about choosing Jean

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Speaker 1: Smart for the role, Like, how did you decide?

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Speaker 5: Well, we wrote the part without anybody in mind, and

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Speaker 5: we had written the script and we made a list

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Speaker 5: of people that we thought would be good for it,

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Speaker 5: and she was honestly at the top of the list

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Speaker 5: because we wanted someone who could do like that her

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Speaker 5: heartfelt moments in the show, more dramatic parts, but also

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Speaker 5: we needed her to be a believable stand up and

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Speaker 5: deliver a joke. And there's not a ton of women

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Speaker 5: that are that age that we thought would be perfect

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Speaker 5: for it, and so we sent it to her and

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Speaker 5: she met with us and said, you know, I always

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Speaker 5: wanted to be a stand up. When I was twelve,

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Speaker 5: everyone was mermaid or a princess, and I dressed as

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Speaker 5: philis Diller and none of the other kids got it.

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Speaker 5: But she's like, I've always wanted to do that. So

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Speaker 5: it's weirdly kismet. And then a lot of weird kismet

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Speaker 5: stuff kept happening.

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Speaker 1: Like what else tell us? I like, will your weird

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Speaker 1: kismet chit?

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Speaker 6: You know?

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Speaker 5: When Jean's husband passed, we sent her flowers and they

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Speaker 5: were her wedding flowers, and she's like, it's so weird.

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Speaker 5: How would you have known that anemonees were my wedding

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Speaker 5: flower And we had sent heed that and were just

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Speaker 5: like a weird coincs. But there kept being these things

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Speaker 5: that She's like, when we would write the script, she'd

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Speaker 5: be like, do you know I was obsessed with Christmas

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Speaker 5: and be like, no, we don't really know you that well,

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Speaker 5: we're just starting the season, you know, we But there

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Speaker 5: was a lot of things that were written into the

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Speaker 5: show that she was like, this is as if you

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Speaker 5: live in my house or you know, there's just a

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Speaker 5: bunch of stuff that felt weird, you know, felt weirdly

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Speaker 5: like it was it was a destined thing.

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Speaker 4: She was meant for it.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, your character is so fucking funny. You and Meghan.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Megan is so ridiculous. I mean, does

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Speaker 1: she ever say anything serious? I'm like, every time I

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Speaker 1: see her, I'm like, are you in character? Or are

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Speaker 1: you I'm like, is this your a real person?

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Speaker 5: He's always on, She's always on. But I have gotten

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Speaker 5: some serious moments from her. And actually you'll see the

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Speaker 5: season she plays some serious moments in the show.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know if I'm ready for that.

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Speaker 5: I gotta tell you what she's making She's making me

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Speaker 5: cry in the scene season three, it's the finale, it's

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Speaker 5: season three.

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Speaker 4: She was so good. I was moved and during it

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Speaker 4: it was crazy. She's great.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's okay, that's enough about that. Now, how do

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Speaker 1: you know when you are writing something and you're starring

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Speaker 1: in it. I always am curious about directing and starring

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Speaker 1: in your own stuff. How do you know when it's

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Speaker 1: actually serving the purpose, like serving the script versus just

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Speaker 1: serving your own role and and expansion of it. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 5: I think because being a writer on the show, like

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Speaker 5: writing the show, I think I care so much more

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Speaker 5: about the story than my part in the show that

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Speaker 5: oftentimes I'm like, we can lose, we can lose that

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Speaker 5: scene of Jimmy. I honestly often am like the one

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Speaker 5: who's I just cut that, And luckily I have these

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Speaker 5: other people who are like, no, keep it in. That

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Speaker 5: was a funny scene. We got to keep it in.

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Speaker 5: But when I'm when I'm directing, I mostly direct episodes

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Speaker 5: that Jimmy isn't really in because I find that hard too.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, I how you do a whole movie where

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Speaker 5: you're the leader of the movie and directing the movie,

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Speaker 5: and like, what do you watch playback every five minutes?

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Speaker 5: And it seems or you're in a scene you're like,

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Speaker 5: can we just what I need you to do?

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Speaker 4: You know, in your director but.

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Speaker 1: You're writing, directing, and starring in this that's a lot.

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize you were also directing.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I direct only a handful of the episodes.

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Speaker 1: All right, we get it, we get it. You're a director,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to get defense.

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Speaker 2: And a showrunner.

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Speaker 4: Well, no, I'm saying, I don't direct that many. I don't.

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Speaker 4: I don't even. I dabble, I dabble.

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Speaker 1: We have fun, and how does that work? Let me

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Speaker 1: tell I want to know about like being with your spouse,

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Speaker 1: working together, living together, how how does that vibe work?

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Speaker 1: You have a kid now, so we do, and obviously

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Speaker 1: you have to have help because if you're both working,

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Speaker 1: we do we do. Whenever I think of a couple

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Speaker 1: working together, I envisioned doctor Phil with his wife and

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Speaker 1: the audience and think, what don't you have anything to do?

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Speaker 1: You know? Like why is she sitting there listening to

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Speaker 1: her fucking husband? Like, get, that's an hour she could

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Speaker 1: get away from him, and she's choosing to go and

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Speaker 1: listen to him. Rant But I think, I guess I'm

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Speaker 1: going to answer my own question here. But then I

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Speaker 1: want you to elaborate, Paul W. Because working together with

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Speaker 1: a spouse in a creative space must be very stimulating, right,

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Speaker 1: Like more stimulate, like being able to carry your work

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Speaker 1: home with you when it is creative isn't as onerous

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Speaker 1: as it is to carry your work home with you

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Speaker 1: if you're a CPA or something exactly.

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Speaker 4: We are in a way.

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Speaker 5: We're always working, but we're never working because even when

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Speaker 5: we're together and we're at a restaurant and we see

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Speaker 5: a waitress who's like doing something fun, We're like, this

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Speaker 5: is this is a scene?

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Speaker 4: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 5: We're constantly collecting material, but also we're never really bored

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Speaker 5: because we always have something. And the thing is, because

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Speaker 5: we also work on comedy together. It's about trying to

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Speaker 5: make the other person laugh. So again, it's not like

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Speaker 5: being a CPA or even doing something dramatic. I'm like,

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Speaker 5: you know, we're not bringing home some true crime murder story,

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Speaker 5: you know, and thinking about the directing of that.

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Speaker 4: We're we're thinking about a better.

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Speaker 1: Joke or directing the Ashley Madison documentary. Is that what

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Speaker 1: you were thinking.

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Speaker 4: Of saying, Yeah, we're not doing that.

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Speaker 1: We're such a beautiful documentary, and what about like because

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Speaker 1: it's very heartwarming the show, and so I'm always wondering,

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Speaker 1: like the line, because I like I would always err

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Speaker 1: on the side of hard comedy, and this is this

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Speaker 1: is I wouldn't say hard comedy, right, I wouldn't say that.

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Speaker 1: I would say that it's comedy. But there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of heart, I guess from Gene. Sometimes it can be

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Speaker 1: hard comedy. How do you tell the line, like, what's

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Speaker 1: the most important for you and your storytelling vision and

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Speaker 1: what's the most important for the show?

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Speaker 4: Funny first? I mean it is.

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Speaker 5: It is in our minds a comedy and so we're

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Speaker 5: always always making sure that it's funny first.

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Speaker 4: But whether that just be the scene or the dialogue.

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Speaker 5: And we do have this kind of cheat code because

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Speaker 5: Gene plays a stand up so we get to like

439
00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:44,520
Speaker 5: write not only stand up jokes for it, but also like,

440
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,960
Speaker 5: you know, she's a person that makes jokes constantly.

441
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,080
Speaker 4: She's constantly joking. She's constantly ribbing Ava and Ava's throwing

442
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:50,400
Speaker 4: it back.

443
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:53,080
Speaker 5: Like we get to write jokes, which I think when

444
00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:56,760
Speaker 5: you see a comedy where people, you know whatever work

445
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,800
Speaker 5: in a hospital and then they're slinging jokes, you're like, well,

446
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:03,800
Speaker 5: if feels written, because right, people are not professional Canadians

447
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:04,320
Speaker 5: who are really fun.

448
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,120
Speaker 4: I'm not saying that.

449
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,880
Speaker 1: You've never met a funny phlebotomist.

450
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,479
Speaker 4: You know, I haven't. I don't think i've met.

451
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,119
Speaker 1: It only took me two tries to get phlebotomists out

452
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:12,680
Speaker 1: of my mouth.

453
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,760
Speaker 4: That was good, that was and that's a funny word.

454
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 1: I'm assuming that you've had therapy in your life, right,

455
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:20,040
Speaker 1: You've been to therapy, you have. It's impossible to live

456
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,639
Speaker 1: in la and be in this industry and not go

457
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,959
Speaker 1: to therapy. It's like the gateway drug to therapy is

458
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,600
Speaker 1: being in Hollywood. You have to go to therapy at

459
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,359
Speaker 1: some point if you've lived there. Okay, Well, we're going

460
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,760
Speaker 1: to take a break and then we're gonna come back

461
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,760
Speaker 1: and we're going to answer some callers questions. Okay, Paul

462
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:40,040
Speaker 1: w Okay, we'll be right back this week.

463
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:43,320
Speaker 3: We'd love to get questions from anyone with parenting questions

464
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 3: or step parenting questions. We'd also like to hear from

465
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,119
Speaker 3: any trans or non binary folks who would like invice

466
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,920
Speaker 3: from Chelsea, whether that be about friendships, dating, work issues,

467
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,520
Speaker 3: or anything else. Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot.

468
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:59,600
Speaker 1: Com, and we're back with Paul W. Downs Hell and

469
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 1: how there's no relation to the other the zillions of

470
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,840
Speaker 1: Paul downs out there, right, because I was assuming that

471
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 1: W had to be put in there.

472
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, well I do have I mean, I have a

473
00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:10,879
Speaker 5: relationship to my dad, but if I didn't have a W,

474
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000
Speaker 5: he might collect a residual, which is not good.

475
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,639
Speaker 4: You know, it's good at me.

476
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,320
Speaker 1: Are you in any way related to George W. Bush?

477
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,399
Speaker 5: No, No, it's not the way at least you know

478
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:22,199
Speaker 5: keyword for me.

479
00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,520
Speaker 1: But you know I was just asking, just you know,

480
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:25,560
Speaker 1: I ask every guest.

481
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,399
Speaker 3: Yes, our first question comes from l She says, to

482
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 3: your Chelsea, I'm writing to ask you about how to

483
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:36,240
Speaker 3: approach a prenup. My fiance is a self made millionaire

484
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,960
Speaker 3: and has two kids. I've always known that there will

485
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,879
Speaker 3: be a prenup eventually, but I feel like the expectations

486
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 3: are always changing. None of this is very romantic, and

487
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,679
Speaker 3: I hate going through this process. I don't want the

488
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,480
Speaker 3: money he made before we were together, but having said that,

489
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:51,480
Speaker 3: I want to stand.

490
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,520
Speaker 1: Up for my lot more money.

491
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 3: I have no kids, I'm almost a decade younger, and

492
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:59,160
Speaker 3: I've had a successful career. But it feels like since

493
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 3: we're starting a partner ship, I should have a somewhat

494
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,200
Speaker 3: equal share in what happens going forward. How do you

495
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,760
Speaker 3: recommend handling money matters like this in a couple?

496
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:10,760
Speaker 1: L Oh, god, prenups. Sorry, yeah, that is I don't

497
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 1: know the legalities around a prenup because I'm smart enough

498
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,120
Speaker 1: to never have been married. Paul, w what about you?

499
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:16,719
Speaker 1: You're married?

500
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:18,280
Speaker 4: I am married. I don't have a prenup.

501
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,320
Speaker 1: Okay, well you need to get one, even though you

502
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 1: guys share the same job.

503
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,440
Speaker 4: We gotta do. I know, that's the thing.

504
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:26,119
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's gonna be a tricky No, you can

505
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 1: get a post up. Actually, that is a thing. People

506
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:32,120
Speaker 1: do do that or they re they they renegotiate their

507
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 1: prenup once they're down the road, like five or ten years,

508
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,840
Speaker 1: Like who's counting. Obviously they are because they're like, all

509
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,880
Speaker 1: right now it's time for this to you know, mature.

510
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 1: But I would say, first of all, you need an

511
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 1: attorney that is going to have your best interests in mind.

512
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,439
Speaker 1: You can't rely on your fiance's attorney to have your

513
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 1: best interests. That is not a thing. They don't have

514
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,040
Speaker 1: your best interests, they have his best interests. So you

515
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 1: have to just find a lawyer, and find a female lawyer.

516
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 1: I would say to help negotiate your terms, and you're

517
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,200
Speaker 1: absolutely right. If you're gonna move in and be a partnership,

518
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 1: then it should be more of a partnership. But yeah,

519
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,720
Speaker 1: you're no way entitled to anything that he made before

520
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 1: that or any of the money that has set aside

521
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 1: for his children.

522
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 4: I think that's right.

523
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 5: I think it's like, okay, we just make terms that

524
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 5: you guys are a partnership from that point forward.

525
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 4: I think that's right.

526
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:19,200
Speaker 1: I was once engaged very quietly too with someone, and

527
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,639
Speaker 1: as soon as I heard about the prenup, I was like,

528
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 1: we're not doing this. It was my from my business managers.

529
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 1: Once I heard about what would be entailed, what it

530
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 1: would entail, I was like, never mind, I'm not even

531
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: going to have the problem to ever have to deal with.

532
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,879
Speaker 4: I will say, our business manager did recommend a prenup

533
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:37,600
Speaker 4: and we did not do it.

534
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, there are those people. You must have thought you

535
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:41,880
Speaker 1: were really in love at that time, Paul w.

536
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 4: Well, we had been together for like fifteen years.

537
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 1: That's a long time. Fifteen years. So now you've been

538
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 1: together twenty years, No, eighteen years, no, like seventeen seventeen. Okay,

539
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 1: my math is sometimes a little bit off.

540
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 4: Mine is off too. I don't.

541
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 5: I'm like, this is kind of an approximation, you know, yeah,

542
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 5: it was great anyway.

543
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,360
Speaker 1: Well, lengths of time, durations of time is always in an approximation.

544
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 1: People are like, when did your mother die? I'm like,

545
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:03,440
Speaker 1: I don't know. It could have been a year ago,

546
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:04,879
Speaker 1: it could have been ten years ago. I have no

547
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,440
Speaker 1: sense of time.

548
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 4: Right right, right, especially, I have very bad memory too.

549
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 1: Oh, you have a really bad memory. A lot of

550
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,480
Speaker 1: guys have bad memories. It's impressive when you meet a

551
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 1: guy with good memory. I sometimes have a good one,

552
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 1: sometimes a bad one. It depends how much product spoke

553
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:17,920
Speaker 1: that day.

554
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah, I think that's really good advice for Elle,

555
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 3: Like get your own attorney because it's not a romantic

556
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 3: thing and it needs to just like not be your manic.

557
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 1: And you shouldn't even discuss it with your husband to

558
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 1: just don't even discuss it. Let that lawyers deal with it.

559
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,880
Speaker 1: People are there to do those jobs, so you don't

560
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 1: have to do them. Do not get involved. It will

561
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 1: get much more unromantic if you do exactly.

562
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, keep the boundary, Yeah, and talk about money.

563
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 1: Is always an ugly conversation. It's an uncomfortable conversation. If

564
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 1: you need it, it's a desperate conversation. If you have it,

565
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,200
Speaker 1: you know, it's just always like sticky.

566
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:55,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, So there you go. L Our first color today

567
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,399
Speaker 3: is Bree. She is thirty seven and she's a therapist,

568
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 3: your Chelsea Pie. I'm a lesbian in my mid thirties

569
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,399
Speaker 3: who's worked for the last ten years as both a

570
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 3: child behavioral therapist and a family therapist. It can be

571
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 3: a very difficult and very rewarding job, and I love it.

572
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:12,919
Speaker 3: At home, I have a wife who I've been with

573
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,719
Speaker 3: since our early twenties. We have a beautiful four year

574
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 3: old daughter and are on the verge of trying for

575
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 3: another child. We have a wonderful marriage, she's my best friend,

576
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 3: my writer die and ninety percent of the time things

577
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:27,159
Speaker 3: are great. Parenting is where it gets tricky. She's the

578
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 3: one who carried our daughter and has always been a

579
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 3: mama bear by nature, while I'm also a mom. I

580
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 3: often take the quote dad roles when parenting. Our daughter

581
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 3: has a special bond with my wife, which is great,

582
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 3: but sometimes it leaves me feeling a little left out.

583
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 3: And as much as I love my job, it feels

584
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,679
Speaker 3: like it's working against me sometimes at home. While my

585
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 3: wife and I often parent cohesively, will occasionally disagree with

586
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 3: some parenting decisions. Unfortunately, whenever I disagree with her opinion,

587
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 3: she automatically says that I'm being too clinical. I try

588
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 3: not to use professional language for this reason, and I

589
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 3: do think I do a pretty good job. Needless to say,

590
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 3: anytime we have a parenting disagreement, her opinion always wins,

591
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:09,360
Speaker 3: and she disqualifies mine due to my profession. My wife

592
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,640
Speaker 3: struggles with a lot of insecurity, and I can see

593
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 3: some of the same traits developing in our daughter. I've

594
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 3: tried to explain that there are things we can do

595
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 3: as parents to build our daughter's self confidence, but my

596
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 3: words fall on deaf ears and she does get defensive.

597
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 3: I've suggested seeing a family therapist ourselves, but she revealed

598
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 3: to me that she doesn't believe in therapy, which is

599
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 3: a whole other dilemma. No, is it better for me

600
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,560
Speaker 3: to back down and go along with her instincts as

601
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:37,120
Speaker 3: a mom, sometimes against my better judgment and training. Am

602
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:39,760
Speaker 3: I really letting my career blur my natural parenting?

603
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 1: Bree oh Hi Brie Hi Hi This is our special

604
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 1: guest today, Paul W. Downs. Hi, Hi, Hi. That's so

605
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 1: it's not funny, but it's very funny that your that's

606
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 1: like being a ghostbuster and having your spouse not believe

607
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: in ghosts. That's fucked up.

608
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's been challenging.

609
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,199
Speaker 1: People cannot not be open to therapy, Like that's just

610
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: so stupid to say you need a parenting counselor somebody

611
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 1: who can talk to both of you because it's not

612
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 1: cool that she's disagreeing with you. You guys are supposed to

613
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 1: be on the same team.

614
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 7: Yeah, And I you know, I think a lot of

615
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 7: it had to do with the fact that when I

616
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 7: when our daughter was first born, you know, I'm not

617
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 7: great with newborns. That was did not come nationally to me.

618
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 7: I was awkward, I fumbled around a lot, and I

619
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 7: think she sort of panicked and pulled back. And you know,

620
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 7: my expertise is really from five and above, and so

621
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 7: I think she was like, you know what we're done.

622
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,399
Speaker 7: I'm going to make the decisions and you can be

623
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:37,920
Speaker 7: over here.

624
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,439
Speaker 1: Okay, Well that's that you can't be relegated to like

625
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 1: a second in command. A I wouldn't worry about that.

626
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,200
Speaker 1: It's people bond with children at different ages, Like, don't

627
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 1: worry about not bonding to the same level when she

628
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 1: was an infant. Is your daughter, Yeah, daughter, and don't

629
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 1: worry about that. You're gonna have your own bonding with

630
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 1: her at whatever age it's going to happen. That always

631
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: shakes itself out. But your wife seems to be the

632
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 1: bigger issue you, which is you have to get her

633
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,159
Speaker 1: to understand that she doesn't get to decide. She's not

634
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:09,000
Speaker 1: the only parent in this unit. This family unit has

635
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 1: two parents, and she's dominating.

636
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:14,439
Speaker 7: Yeah, and she's never dominated in anything before. I've always

637
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 7: been that kind of person too. She has been like, oh,

638
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:18,879
Speaker 7: I'm going I'm good with whatever. I make all the

639
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,119
Speaker 7: decisions for a lot of things, which can be frustrating

640
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 7: because I love a back and forth. And so now

641
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 7: she's like, you know what, I've never done anything and

642
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 7: made any decisions. Now I'm going to stand up for

643
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 7: myself and make all these decisions. And you know, it's

644
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 7: hard to argue with that, but I'd like to be

645
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 7: a role in my daughter's life.

646
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 1: And you have every right to be a role in

647
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: your daughter's life. So like, yeah, that's the most important thing.

648
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 1: It's not about who's right or who's wrong. It's about

649
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 1: both being open to listening to each other's opinions.

650
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 4: You do family therapy, right.

651
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm a family therapist and a child behavioral therapist.

652
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 4: Yeah. Okay, So what would you say.

653
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 5: I'm like, you know, I'm like, this is so hard

654
00:26:55,800 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 5: because you're you're in it. But this is past, this

655
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 5: is hard.

656
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 7: I mean, the immediate thought that would come to mind

657
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 7: for me is there's clearly some trust issues on her end,

658
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,720
Speaker 7: in terms she did have a very traumatic childhood. There

659
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,680
Speaker 7: is a lot of trust background issues there. She doesn't

660
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 7: believe in therapy because she doesn't trust the process. She

661
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 7: doesn't trust that someone a stranger could help her with

662
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 7: what she experienced, and she doesn't trust other people to

663
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 7: help make big decisions like myself for our daughter. And

664
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 7: at first, before we had a child, it was easier

665
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 7: because you know, it was just the two of us,

666
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 7: and now there's a whole human life here that is

667
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 7: impacting our ability to trust each other basically, So that

668
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 7: would be my first thought is there's some trust building

669
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 7: to have to occur here, but I don't know how

670
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 7: to do.

671
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:50,120
Speaker 1: It well, especially with what you just said earlier, which

672
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:53,439
Speaker 1: is that you made all the decisions until this and

673
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 1: you're a child psychologist or behavioral list and so she's

674
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 1: looking at you like, oh no, no, no, this is

675
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 1: another thing you're going to dominate. And now she's stepping

676
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 1: in and going, no, I'm going to take this role.

677
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 1: So yes, with that information, with everything you said, that

678
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: sounds pretty kind of textbook. So you should be able

679
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 1: to handle this without us.

680
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 4: How old is How old is she your daughter? Not

681
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 4: your wife?

682
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 1: She's four and a half now and a half.

683
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,440
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, you're about to get to your expertise.

684
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 7: Yes, and you know I'd love another child, but I

685
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 7: don't want to go through all this over again.

686
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: Okay, well you have to get into therapy together. She

687
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 1: can't that. That attitude isn't going to be good for

688
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 1: your marriage or your relationship or your family dynamic. So

689
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,800
Speaker 1: you've got to really work on that and work on that.

690
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 1: Do you see someone?

691
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 4: Ah?

692
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 7: Yes, I do.

693
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 1: Well talk to your person about that. I mean, I

694
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 1: know you're trying to talk to us about it, but

695
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: you should also talk to your person and see what

696
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 1: they say, Like, what is an organic way for you

697
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 1: to bring her in where she doesn't feel threatened and

698
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: she doesn't feel it's about her, and you can organically

699
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 1: bring the conversation in around whatever the pretense of her

700
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 1: coming to therapy, which is you want to make sure

701
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: that you're staying connected. Maybe you don't feel so connected

702
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 1: to her.

703
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's true, Oka.

704
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: And I don't think you go in saying like staking

705
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 1: your claim of what you think you're missing. I think

706
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 1: you go in like, I want us to be more

707
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 1: unified as parents, and I want to be closer to

708
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 1: you and acknowledge the closeness she has with your daughter

709
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 1: without sounding like it's a threat, you know what I mean, Like,

710
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 1: it's so great the way that you've stepped in. It

711
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 1: makes my life. It's so nice to know she's in

712
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 1: such safe hands. You know that obviously it's her mother,

713
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 1: but still, like people need to hear those things, you know,

714
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 1: and that's usually where the insecurity lies. It's like this

715
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 1: deep rooted fear that you're not doing a good enough

716
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 1: job at whatever it is you're doing.

717
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 4: Right, I think you've hit.

718
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 7: The nail on the head there with her. I think

719
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 7: that you're absolutely right. She would respond much better to

720
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 7: a positive approach there instead of in the past we

721
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 7: would just combat. I would say why am I not

722
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 7: allowed you in on this? And she would get defensive.

723
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 7: So I think that's absolutely right.

724
00:29:58,520 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

725
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, with people who get to fend if, it's just

726
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 1: like you have to like pour love over them over

727
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 1: and over and over again until they just melt and

728
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: give up.

729
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 4: Yeah.

730
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 5: It's almost like you want to say, can you come

731
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 5: to my session because I want you to help me

732
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 5: with this thing. Yeah, exactly, I'm feeling sad about this thing,

733
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 5: and maybe you can shed some light on the situation

734
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 5: with my therapist. Like, you know, if you make it

735
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 5: more about what you need and not what they need

736
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 5: to change, that might be helpful. And I think that's right.

737
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 5: It's just about like being like, you're so great at

738
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 5: all these things. Sometimes I don't feel what you know.

739
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,479
Speaker 5: I do feel like sometimes people do the counterbalance, they

740
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 5: do the end of the yang, and it's like it

741
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 5: might be the case that she's like, no, you're great,

742
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 5: you're a great parent. You also studied this, he went

743
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 5: to school for it, and you know me, I do

744
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 5: believe in it.

745
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 1: Absolutely, But you could still feel inadequate within a relationship,

746
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 1: and that's a good descriptor to use for the way

747
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 1: you feel to her, because that makes it, you know,

748
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:52,960
Speaker 1: it's not aggressive.

749
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 7: Yeah, And I think there was also that second layer

750
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 7: for me if I was I'm not a blood parent,

751
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 7: and so I was already feeling insignificant that I didn't

752
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 7: have the same role in my daughter's life with that

753
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 7: whole second parent but not blood parent situation. So that

754
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 7: really haunted me for a while as well. I'm working

755
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 7: on that.

756
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 3: When you know, you said that you're thinking about another child,

757
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 3: are you? Is she going to carry again and use

758
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 3: her own eggs and everything?

759
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 8: Yeah?

760
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 7: Yeah, so same situations, full blood seidling.

761
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 1: You're having honest feelings about that reservations, right, you said, yeah, yeah,

762
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 1: so you got to like get this. It's gonna be fine.

763
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 1: You just have to get her to a place where

764
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 1: you have to really come from a place where you're

765
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 1: sharing it with her rather than prescribing it to her.

766
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:38,479
Speaker 4: Yeah.

767
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 7: Absolutely, you know, I'm just navigating both her and being

768
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 7: you know, a same sex couple with same parenting, which

769
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 7: we don't have a lot of examples to pull from,

770
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 7: so we're sort of making it up on the fly.

771
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 1: Just follow Brandy Carlyle on Instagram. She and her wife

772
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 1: seem to make it work, even though Brandy Carlyle is

773
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 1: on can you join a band on tour that seems

774
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 1: to be a great Can you start doing stand up?

775
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 1: Most people don't know? Okay, well, good luck with everything

776
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 1: and keep us posted. Let us know. If that works

777
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 1: out and you get her to come to therapy.

778
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 7: Awesome, Maybe I'll get her to come here and get

779
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 7: therapy for me.

780
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 3: Bring her on.

781
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, we are looking for couples. I'm not fucking joking.

782
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 1: I like talking to couples. So if you could get

783
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 1: her to do it, we'll set it up all right.

784
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 7: Thank you guys so much.

785
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 1: Paul, do you defer to your wife about your child,

786
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 1: about your parenting like or does she defer to you

787
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 1: who's in charge?

788
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 5: I think it depends on the moment. I feel like

789
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 5: we both we both have our thoughts. I mean, sometimes

790
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 5: it differs, but it's it's so it's so minor. It's

791
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 5: usually around like should we keep them up in the

792
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:55,479
Speaker 5: car before you know what I mean.

793
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 4: It's stuff like that.

794
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 5: But I get what we was saying about, even because

795
00:32:58,280 --> 00:32:59,719
Speaker 5: I feel like dads feel this way too, even if

796
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 5: there are blood related it it's like, well they didn't.

797
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 4: Carry the child.

798
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 5: They also didn't if they if the child was breastflite,

799
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 5: they didn't brestfeed, And there's like a bond that happens there.

800
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 5: And in the beginning, dad, the dad is kind of

801
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 5: like the butler, not you know, he's just like making

802
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 5: sure everybody has the things, but not really doing as much.

803
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 4: So I do get that. I get what Breeze is

804
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 4: talking about.

805
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would definitely, like I even hearing it, like

806
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 1: there's one birth parent and then there's one, so you're

807
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:26,560
Speaker 1: assuming a male role almost because you're like the dad

808
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 1: or a traditional male role. But I would feel that

809
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 1: like if I was in a lesbian relationship and my

810
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 1: wife carried the baby, I'd be like, all right, one am,

811
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 1: I allowed man out. It's like how you feel after

812
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:38,959
Speaker 1: a threesome, you know, when you're the extra.

813
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 3: Just like that, So how Paul W feels every day

814
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 3: in his workplace.

815
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 1: Paul W always feels post threesome. I could tell. Oh,

816
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 1: by the way, Paul, I just agree to do a

817
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: residency in Vegas at the Cosmopolitan once a month.

818
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 4: I know, congrats. I love that.

819
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: I was inspired by the show No.

820
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 4: Get Out of here, get out of here.

821
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,959
Speaker 1: I read that you guys spend so much time in Vegas,

822
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 1: so you actually have to live there part time when

823
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 1: you're shooting, right.

824
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 5: We actually hate to say it. We shoot mostly in

825
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:09,920
Speaker 5: La We're only there for like three days a season.

826
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay, that.

827
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 4: Makes you love.

828
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 5: We do love the Vegas portion of our shoot. We

829
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,240
Speaker 5: love you know, it's so it's it is the show.

830
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 5: So I love Vegas.

831
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 4: I think it's.

832
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 1: I love the way her house is in Vegas with

833
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 1: that long drive. I love when a driveway isn't is

834
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,200
Speaker 1: too long to be called a driveway and it's just

835
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,760
Speaker 1: a drive. It's a drive. That's what I say. Whenever

836
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,719
Speaker 1: I go to ted sarandas is the house, it's like

837
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 1: it's a drive, you know, like it's a whole. It

838
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: loops around the property and you're like, ooh am, I

839
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: never never land.

840
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 4: I want to go. Everybody knows going I gotta go. Yeah,

841
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 4: I gotta go to Ted.

842
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 1: The best hosts. Okay. So yeah, I love the way

843
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,839
Speaker 1: her comes into her house. I'm like, oh god, that's

844
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 1: the only way you could get anyone to move to

845
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:52,479
Speaker 1: Vegas is to give them some strolling indoor amusement park

846
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 1: for a house, you know, basically like, you have all

847
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 1: the fixings you need here, you don't ever have to

848
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,280
Speaker 1: leave because it's fucking hot there.

849
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 4: Are you going to live there?

850
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 1: No, no, no doubt. I literally go. I fly. I

851
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,800
Speaker 1: perform once a month, so it's like, oh oh, not

852
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 1: like a weekly thing, right. I tried to calculate in

853
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 1: my head how many hours in a row I could

854
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 1: stay in Vegas while also remaining stable. You know what

855
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: I mean. I'm not I can't be trusted in areas

856
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 1: like that or Monte Carlo.

857
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,279
Speaker 4: Oh wow, Oh, Monte Carlo will be really fun. I

858
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:24,959
Speaker 4: would see you there.

859
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: I've been dying to throw Monte Carlo into something. Yeah,

860
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: what do we have?

861
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 3: Well, now that we've hit Monte Carlo, our next caller

862
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 3: is Kelly. Kelly is twenty nine and says, Dear Chelsea,

863
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 3: I write to you because I need you to help

864
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 3: me get the hell over a fear. My partner is

865
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 3: a world traveler. It's one of her favorite things. She

866
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 3: would love nothing more than to go somewhere extra cool

867
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 3: with me. I also love to travel and take vacations,

868
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 3: but usually ones I can drive to. You see, I'm

869
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 3: afraid of planes. She and I have been together for

870
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 3: four years now. She's been patient and supportive, but it

871
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,760
Speaker 3: has been four years, and I owe it to her

872
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 3: and me to shake it off. I refuse to fly

873
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,800
Speaker 3: for about twenty years now. I think my avoidance is

874
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 3: rooted in past experience of turbulence, fear of no exit

875
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 3: or control, a fatal plane crash occurring in a city

876
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 3: my partner was visiting at the time, intrusive thoughts, and

877
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 3: overall anxiety. My therapist is on board to help me

878
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 3: through the plane fear, even via virtual reality. My doctor

879
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,320
Speaker 3: has given me at Avan to use on my first

880
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 3: ever adult flight, whenever that may be. In conclusion, I'm

881
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 3: getting good building blocks toward my first flight, but the

882
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,439
Speaker 3: thought still horrifies me. I need Chelsea Handler to tell

883
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 3: me to get the hell over it. Maybe tell me

884
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 3: what's so good about flying. Your advice will help my

885
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 3: partner like me even more. Kelly, and Kelly, I do

886
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,319
Speaker 3: need you to tell us what you told me on

887
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 3: our call together about like the last time you flew

888
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 3: and when that was Yes, Hello.

889
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 8: Everyone, Hi, ahead, welcome, thank you so much, thanks for

890
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 8: having me so. My last flight was in two thousand

891
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:03,360
Speaker 8: and five. I was very young and Hurricane Katrina was

892
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,800
Speaker 8: basically hitting as we were leaving, the hurricane was hitting

893
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 8: and hitting, turbulence in the air just all of that

894
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,640
Speaker 8: combined really freaked me out.

895
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:17,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're fine. You're fine now, nothing happened. So look,

896
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 1: the worst thing happened and you're fine. Yeah, I mean

897
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,280
Speaker 1: the worst thing didn't happen, but it came close to happening,

898
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:25,359
Speaker 1: or what you think was going to cause that. First

899
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 1: of all, I don't know if this will help you,

900
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: but it helped me a long time ago. I don't

901
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: have a fear of flying, but I remember someone telling

902
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,880
Speaker 1: me that when you're experiencing turbulence, it's almost like the

903
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:38,360
Speaker 1: opposite of crashing, like it is the most normal expected

904
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 1: thing to happen, and that planes don't get into trouble

905
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 1: during turbulence. That's not what causes planes to go out,

906
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 1: you know. I mean maybe with weather changing the way

907
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 1: it is because of climate change, that it could be

908
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 1: it could escalate to that, But that's not where where

909
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 1: crashes come from. Turbulence. So you should know that and

910
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:56,560
Speaker 1: write that down in front of you so you could

911
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 1: read that over and over again. You know what I

912
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 1: mean for when you fly. I'm fucking serious.

913
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:01,760
Speaker 2: But just you were fine.

914
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,839
Speaker 1: You are fine, you are safe, you are fine, I

915
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 1: am safe. Blah blah blah, over and over and over

916
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 1: against yourself. To calm yourself down while you're on the

917
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 1: plane and out of van didn't help you.

918
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 8: I haven't tried it yet.

919
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 4: Oh it's gonna be great.

920
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,799
Speaker 1: You're gonna you're gonna love it. The other thing is,

921
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,839
Speaker 1: I would recommend you go to a hypnotist to try

922
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 1: to get over this, because Kerrie Gainer's in LA. But

923
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 1: that would require a flight, so I don't know. I

924
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,800
Speaker 1: went to him for smoking cigarettes. I have tons of people.

925
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 1: Do you know who he is?

926
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 4: I've heard of him yet, Yeah, like he's.

927
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:34,759
Speaker 1: This famous hypnotist.

928
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,720
Speaker 5: Who is I had a friend who went for candy

929
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 5: for like a sugar addiction.

930
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:38,359
Speaker 4: I went.

931
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,720
Speaker 1: I had a friend who went for biting her toenails. Okay,

932
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 1: apparently the two biggest phobias are spiders and flying. Those

933
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 1: are the or no sorry, fear of public speaking, and

934
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 1: flying spiders are scary too.

935
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 4: We feel for the spider fear of people.

936
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 1: But can you look up a hypnotist? You have to

937
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: try it, you do it? Three times and you will like,

938
00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,959
Speaker 1: it works for a lot of people, so don't rule

939
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 1: that out.

940
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,279
Speaker 5: And you know, my uncle flies planes, and I'm like,

941
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 5: this is crazy, this is scary. But you know what

942
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 5: he said to me, and it actually is in my

943
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 5: head all the time. Planes want to stay in the

944
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 5: air the way that they're designed.

945
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 4: They don't.

946
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,239
Speaker 5: It's hard to get them down. Actually, the landing is

947
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 5: not to scare you, one of the one of the

948
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 5: most treacherous parts.

949
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:22,720
Speaker 1: Because necessary to say that what are you doing right now?

950
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 1: So she gets on the plane, she's okay, and that

951
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 1: she remembers what you said about the fucking landing.

952
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,240
Speaker 4: That's the last five minutes.

953
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:33,800
Speaker 1: Ruined the whole flight.

954
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 5: No flying, it's not it's not dangerous to land.

955
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 4: It's fine. It's it's all safe. It's safer than driving

956
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 4: in a car. You know that. You've heard the stats.

957
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 1: It is safer than driving in a car.

958
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 4: Have you been in a Have you been in a

959
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 4: golf cart?

960
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 1: Yeah?

961
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,400
Speaker 4: So golf carts don't really have a suspension that lets them.

962
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 5: I mean, they're really bouncy, but they don't tip over,

963
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 5: they don't roll, you know what I mean. That's exactly

964
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 5: what turbunece is it's like it's like bounces. It's not

965
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 5: going to make the plane all out of the air.

966
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 5: It's like being in a golf cart, and I do

967
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 5: I know that sounds crazy, but I do think because turbulence,

968
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 5: I don't love it either. I don't know who loves turbulence,

969
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 5: but I do think about the golf cart analogy whenever

970
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 5: there's turbulence, and also that the plane wants to be

971
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 5: in the air.

972
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 1: I don't think that line of thinking is helpful at all.

973
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: Does that make you feel better?

974
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:24,120
Speaker 8: Yes, I wrote all those down right. It's also like

975
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 8: an overstimulation thing and not liking to be around people

976
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 8: and have no escape. So I'm wondering what escape up

977
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,760
Speaker 8: for Like a first class flight that might.

978
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, that will help a lot in first class will

979
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 5: have Also, I think turbulence is less apparent in the front.

980
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,440
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, okay, I took out a van for

981
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 3: a flying because it was like a period where I

982
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 3: was pretty nervous flyer and it like you still think like,

983
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 3: oh I might die, but like it makes you not

984
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:51,800
Speaker 3: care that you might die.

985
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 2: It just takes that away.

986
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 3: I will also say, TikTok, there are a lot of

987
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 3: people on there who are like, let me walk you

988
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 3: through the different sounds you're going to hear as you're

989
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 3: taking off or as you're landing. And here's why they're

990
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 3: not scary. I recently stumbled across this and it made

991
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:07,319
Speaker 3: my next flight like so much easier.

992
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 8: To download TikTok.

993
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 1: Yes, well, get ahead of ourselves TikTok, yet don't ruin it.

994
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,480
Speaker 1: Probably stay away from it and just look up what

995
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 1: she's talking about. Yeah, there on YouTube too, But does

996
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 1: any of that help you?

997
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,759
Speaker 8: Definitely? Definitely. I'm just really grateful.

998
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 1: You can do it.

999
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 4: Thank you. It's gonna you're gonna love it.

1000
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1001
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 8: I just want to pick a place I really want

1002
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 8: to go to and then it'll feel really worth it.

1003
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 8: And hearing your words of encouragement is super help.

1004
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, get after it, because once you get that fly

1005
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 1: first flight down, then you can travel wherever you want, girl,

1006
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 1: And that's the that's the key to the rest of

1007
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 1: your life, like looking and seeing different new places. I mean,

1008
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 1: how exciting is that to know that you can go

1009
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 1: and travel around the world and you're not gonna be scared. Yep.

1010
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 2: If Courtney can get Travis Barker to fly again.

1011
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 3: You can fly again.

1012
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: I think Courtney could get Travis Barker to do a

1013
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:01,959
Speaker 1: lot of things that he hasn't done in a long time.

1014
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 1: He seems pretty devoted to her. Okay, well, good luck

1015
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 1: with everything, take care, Thank you so much, check care bye.

1016
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:12,839
Speaker 1: I don't like these requests when people say I want

1017
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 1: Chelsea to tell me to get my shit together. I

1018
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 1: want Chelsea to tell me to go for a flight,

1019
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 1: because it's like that's all I have to say. Then,

1020
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 1: like they're not letting me decide what to say. Then

1021
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 1: I'm just like, go do it.

1022
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 2: I think we give her a lot of stuff though,

1023
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:25,839
Speaker 2: I think it was good.

1024
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 1: Well, we did cover a lot of stuff. Think God

1025
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 1: Paul was here.

1026
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 3: People just don't have like Chelsea handler confidence, so they're like,

1027
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:31,799
Speaker 3: give that to me.

1028
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,319
Speaker 1: You know, it's not confidence, it's that I don't care,

1029
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:36,320
Speaker 1: you know what I mean long enough to make a choice.

1030
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,319
Speaker 1: I'm just like, let's go keep moving. Oh so, if

1031
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: you haven't checked out my opening dates in Vegas, check

1032
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 1: them out. They're on my website Chelseahandler dot com. We

1033
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 1: announced four dates in Vegas plus my all my other

1034
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 1: cities that I'm coming to get your tickets to Chelseahandler

1035
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 1: dot com before this tour finally fucking wraps up. We're

1036
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 1: gonna take a quick break, Paul, put your coffee down,

1037
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 1: what you're on camera. We're gonna take a break, and

1038
00:42:58,080 --> 00:42:59,879
Speaker 1: Paul w and I are going to have We're gonna

1039
00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 1: be back.

1040
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 3: We're back, all right. Our last email comes from Kim.

1041
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 3: She says, Dear Chelsea, I recently went through my first

1042
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:16,360
Speaker 3: adult breakup. My wife and I were together for twelve years,

1043
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 3: married for seven, and it has been the most difficult

1044
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,040
Speaker 3: thing I've ever had to grow through. I love a

1045
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 3: double life, split between corporate America and being a comedian.

1046
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:27,319
Speaker 3: I've been in a love hate relationship with stand up

1047
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 3: since two thousand and six, and right before the pandemic,

1048
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 3: I co wrote a web series that we finally put

1049
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 3: in the festival circuit. I'm considering getting back on stage,

1050
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 3: and of course all my stand up friends are like,

1051
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,840
Speaker 3: you have so much material. Let's just say that the

1052
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 3: way my marriage ended is very complicated and involves a hypnotist,

1053
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 3: a magician, a clown, and possibly a cult.

1054
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 1: Can we get that hypnotist number for the other caller?

1055
00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 3: Well, that's hope, So I don't know if I have

1056
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 3: a lifetime original movie on my hands or comedy gold,

1057
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,400
Speaker 3: but it's something that's the background.

1058
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:56,360
Speaker 2: And here's the dilemma.

1059
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 3: My AX asked me to keep some information about our

1060
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 3: breakup on the DL because it could affect her career.

1061
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 3: Although I can easily tell jokes and not say her

1062
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:05,960
Speaker 3: name directly, things do tend to end up on the Internet,

1063
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 3: and people that know us will very quickly put two

1064
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:10,840
Speaker 3: and two together. I'm also not sure what protections I

1065
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 3: have if I decided to write a script or something

1066
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 3: that's quote based on true events. I'm torn between feeling

1067
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 3: the need to protect someone that honestly really hurt me

1068
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,279
Speaker 3: and wanting to dive back into my comedy world and

1069
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:21,800
Speaker 3: tell my story Kim.

1070
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,240
Speaker 1: I don't know what the legalities around that are, because

1071
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:27,840
Speaker 1: I know about writing a book how you have to

1072
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 1: change things for people so that no one can recognize

1073
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 1: who you're talking about. But you can still talk about

1074
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:37,239
Speaker 1: the people things that experiences you've had. You just have

1075
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:39,360
Speaker 1: to shroud who that other person is. And I don't

1076
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,880
Speaker 1: know if just being in front of people who know

1077
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 1: that you dated her is enough of a connection that's

1078
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 1: still your experience you're not calling her out. You've had

1079
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 1: other girlfriends, I'm sure. Well maybe it's been a long time.

1080
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:53,640
Speaker 1: It sounded like so maybe not. But I think you

1081
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 1: can talk about her without don't say her name. Don't

1082
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:58,800
Speaker 1: do that. If somebody asks for privacy, everyone has a

1083
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:01,920
Speaker 1: right to privacy, even though I don't respect that, you know,

1084
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:06,359
Speaker 1: but I think you should definitely pursue stand up and

1085
00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 1: see what you've got in this material, because nothing is

1086
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: funny like tragedy, really nothing. You give anything two weeks

1087
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 1: and it is cooked perfectly to bring it out and

1088
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 1: start sharing it. So I am a firm believer in

1089
00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 1: the darker the moment, the funnier, the potential for funny

1090
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 1: is greater percent.

1091
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 4: I think that the saddest stuff can be the funniest.

1092
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 5: And also if you have material that I mean, it

1093
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 5: sounds pretty rich, that material sounds good. It feels like

1094
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,840
Speaker 5: you have to do it, especially if the person hurt you.

1095
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:35,279
Speaker 4: I get it.

1096
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 5: We don't wanna, we don't want to expose the person.

1097
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 5: That person has a right to privacy. But I don't

1098
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:44,560
Speaker 5: know unless you have an hour of material about this

1099
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:47,279
Speaker 5: woman who, then you know, you tape a special and

1100
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,640
Speaker 5: it becomes huge. I don't think it's gonna impact her career.

1101
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,879
Speaker 5: You know, people you guys have in common might be like, oh,

1102
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 5: they had a clown.

1103
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. By the time you would would get as

1104
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,120
Speaker 1: comedy special, you're gonna have had had more girlfriends. So

1105
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 1: there's no direct relation. I understand, you've been with someone

1106
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:03,840
Speaker 1: for twelve years, so when you say your ex, everyone

1107
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,799
Speaker 1: knows who knows you, knows who you're talking about, but

1108
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 1: not everybody knows who you're talking about. So it is

1109
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,319
Speaker 1: kind of a murky area. But comics do it all

1110
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 1: the time. My whole first set was about my ex

1111
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 1: boyfriend finding him cheating on me with not one, but

1112
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:19,360
Speaker 1: two women. I added the second one for storytelling purposes.

1113
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 1: There was really only one woman, but like I talked

1114
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 1: about him for like. That was my first set was

1115
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:27,319
Speaker 1: just how walking in on my boyfriend cheating on me?

1116
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 1: So you can, I mean, people, that's what everyone is doing.

1117
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift just wrote a song about Kim Kardashian and

1118
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,680
Speaker 1: called it Thank You Amy, and it's about Kim. We

1119
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:39,880
Speaker 1: all know it's about Kim Kardashian, So you know, I

1120
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 1: would just say keep it. You've never said her name

1121
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 1: out loud, don't say it so you don't get yourself

1122
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,759
Speaker 1: in trouble. But definitely, first you stand up and if

1123
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 1: it you know, if you're feeling it and it's vibing,

1124
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 1: then then continue. Conversely, if the opposite is true as well,

1125
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:56,719
Speaker 1: don't continue. Okay, well, we're gonna wrap up with you.

1126
00:46:56,719 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 1: You're such a cutie pie, Paul w Downs. I had

1127
00:46:58,640 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 1: such a fun time with you today.

1128
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 4: I am is an honor and a pleasure. Thank you

1129
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:03,239
Speaker 4: for having me.

1130
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 1: Okay, well, I wish you well. Say hi to my

1131
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 1: friends Hannah and Jen Statsky. Tell her I say hello too.

1132
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 4: From childhood, I will indeed, Yeah, I'm tell Gene to

1133
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 4: come on.

1134
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,759
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, tell Gene. I want her on too. Yes, absolutely,

1135
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 1: you have to write apart from me to come on.

1136
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:19,879
Speaker 1: So I can either have a love scene with no,

1137
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 1: I can't have a love scene. I can't even have

1138
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 1: a love scene with a man I once did. I

1139
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 1: once had to do a movie and they this is

1140
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 1: how bad you guys I was. I once had to

1141
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 1: do a movie with this actor and they wanted me

1142
00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 1: to open mouth kiss him. And I took one look

1143
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 1: at this guy and I was like, I can't do that.

1144
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,360
Speaker 1: You know, like I can't kiss this man. I just won't.

1145
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 1: And so I went to the director and I was like,

1146
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 1: I know this scene is about us like making out,

1147
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 1: but obviously, like let's fake that because I'm not interested

1148
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:47,320
Speaker 1: in this. And he's like, well, it's in the script,

1149
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:50,359
Speaker 1: like you have to act, and I was like, no, no, no,

1150
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 1: it's not happening, like I'm not making out with that kid.

1151
00:47:53,239 --> 00:47:54,879
Speaker 1: He was like ten years younger than me. It felt

1152
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 1: disgusting and it was there was a situation, and I

1153
00:47:59,080 --> 00:48:01,320
Speaker 1: was like no, no, And then finally I was like

1154
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell you.

1155
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 6: To the director, I I don't know what to tell you.

1156
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 6: It's not gonna happen. So finally he's like, okay, well

1157
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 6: what can happen? I was like, we could touch arms

1158
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 6: and then we're going to turn our back.

1159
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 1: To the camera. No, you don't want to hire me

1160
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:16,720
Speaker 1: from everything ever, anything. I'm terrible.

1161
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 4: Well, okay, I'll keep that in Okay, keep that.

1162
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:21,359
Speaker 1: In mind, keep my behavior in mine. I would love

1163
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 1: to thank you so much, Paul w We love you.

1164
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:25,120
Speaker 4: Thank you, I love you.

1165
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 1: Everyone tuned in to season three of Haacks if you

1166
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 1: haven't seen it already, it's streaming on Max. Okay, So

1167
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 1: upcoming shows that I have you guys, these are the

1168
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:37,520
Speaker 1: places I'm coming in May Prior Lake, Minnesota, Verona, New York, Auckland,

1169
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 1: New Zealand, Wellington, New Zealand, Melbourne, Australia, Brisbane and Australia, Sydney, Australia.

1170
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:45,319
Speaker 1: We've added second shows to places that have sold out

1171
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 1: the first and then I'm gonna be in Hawaii on Maui, Ka,

1172
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 1: Hulue and Honolulu. I will be there in July. Also

1173
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:55,239
Speaker 1: in July, I'm coming to Niagara Falls on July twenty seventh.

1174
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:57,840
Speaker 1: I'm coming to Hollywood, Florida for my only show in

1175
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 1: Florida on July twenty eighth. I'll be in Auburn, Washington

1176
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 1: on August first, and then Santa Rosa, California for my

1177
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 1: second show August second. And then I'm coming to Atlantic City.

1178
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:11,879
Speaker 1: MATEO o'line and I are co headlining a really fun

1179
00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 1: show in Atlantic City this summer. August tenth August seventeenth

1180
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:17,880
Speaker 1: is the Santa Barbara Bull. You do not want to

1181
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 1: miss that. And then I will be all over Maine, Charlotte,

1182
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 1: North Carolina, Charleston, South Carolina. I'm coming to Texas. I'm

1183
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,560
Speaker 1: coming to Saint Louis in Kansas City. I'm coming to Brooklyn,

1184
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:33,839
Speaker 1: New York at the Kings Theater on November eighth, and

1185
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,880
Speaker 1: I have tickets on sale throughout the end of the

1186
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 1: year in December, so if you're in a city like

1187
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:45,320
Speaker 1: Philadelphia or Bethlehem, or San Diego or New Orleans or Omaha,

1188
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:47,520
Speaker 1: check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.

1189
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 3: Okay, if you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an

1190
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 3: email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and

1191
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 3: be sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is

1192
00:49:56,800 --> 00:50:00,399
Speaker 3: edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine in Law,

1193
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 3: and be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler

1194
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:05,880
Speaker 3: dot com