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Speaker 1: This is Cowboy Sam and this is Yeh John And

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Speaker 1: we've last.

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Speaker 2: Showed in some amazing stories for y' all the Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 1: But before that we got.

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Speaker 3: A wrangle, a quick little to minute outbreak from those

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Speaker 3: bucking sponsors.

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Speaker 1: We bucking love so much they paid us the bucks

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Speaker 1: to help this show stay alive.

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Speaker 4: I uninvited my sister for my wedding because she won't

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Speaker 4: talk to my fiance.

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Speaker 5: Don't ever talk to me, am I fiance again.

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Speaker 4: My sister, Amanda and I used to be very close.

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Speaker 4: She's three years older than I am and I follow

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Speaker 4: her lead on everything growing up. Admittedly, I used to

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Speaker 4: be a human doormat, and thanks to my fiance Zach

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Speaker 4: and his mom, I have made significant improvements in my

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Speaker 4: boundary setting. With my sister, I never had to set

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Speaker 4: boundaries other than respecting each other's borrowed belongings because she

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Speaker 4: always looked out for me and had a strong moral compass,

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Speaker 4: so it was never necessary until oh oh. By the way,

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Speaker 4: this comes from top Conversation sixty four on the Charlotte

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Speaker 4: Dobray YouTube subreddit, and if you want some mait your

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Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r sash okay, storytime Subreddit. So,

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Speaker 4: about a year ago, my sister, who was pregnant at

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Speaker 4: the time, came to visit me and my fiance. At

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Speaker 4: the time, Zach was my boyfriend of two years, so

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Speaker 4: we were not yet engaged, but she introduced the two

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Speaker 4: of us originally, so they were friendly and familiar with

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Speaker 4: each other. Prior to this evening, she had expressed some

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Speaker 4: small concerns with me about Zach. Everything she mentioned I

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Speaker 4: discussed with him, and I did not find anything I

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Speaker 4: deemed relationship ending. Yellow flags at most hints we are

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Speaker 4: still together.

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Speaker 6: Edit. A lot of.

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Speaker 4: People asking what the yellow flags were. Uh huh, they

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Speaker 4: were preferential things. She doesn't like that he's extroverted and

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Speaker 4: I'm introverted, but I do. According to her, he spent

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Speaker 4: too much money on his car and my birthday presence,

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Speaker 4: et cetera, but I'm okay with it because he does

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Speaker 4: not fall on bills to do this. Also, stay your

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Speaker 4: own business, Yeah, who cares if someone's extroverted in another

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Speaker 4: person's introverted. The evening the three of us got together

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Speaker 4: was pleasant. We had dinner together. First thing then. Knowing

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Speaker 4: my sister was a firearms enthusianaist, she pulled out his

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Speaker 4: new pupew to show her. She admired it, and nothing

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Speaker 4: was said to indicate anything other than her enthusiasm towards it.

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Speaker 4: After that, she stayed another hour or so let us

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Speaker 4: fill the baby bump, and left at it too.

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Speaker 6: Zach and I both believe.

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Speaker 4: Booze and pup you don't mix, and I assure you

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Speaker 4: they were not mixed at all.

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Speaker 6: They just had dinner. I don't think they were any

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Speaker 6: drinks of both.

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Speaker 2: That's good.

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Speaker 4: Next morning, I got a message from her asking to

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Speaker 4: meet for coffee because she had some things to say.

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Speaker 6: Didn't she already say some things?

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Speaker 2: Mmmm?

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Speaker 6: This is what she's gonna do.

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Speaker 4: She came to the couple and she was like, Hey,

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Speaker 4: this is what I see that isn't working. Now She's

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Speaker 4: gonna come to each of them independently and try to

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Speaker 4: break them up.

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Speaker 6: She's trying to break you guys up.

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Speaker 2: And why do you think she wants to do that, Riley.

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Speaker 6: Because she wants to hold Zach's whoa.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think you might be right, and we

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Speaker 2: all know what actually rhymes with yep.

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Speaker 4: This was strange, but I agreed to me. When I arrived,

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Speaker 4: she told me she was sorry for leaving abruptly at three.

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Speaker 4: She did not leave abruptly. She stayed another hour after that.

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Speaker 4: That is just her words at the coffee shop. But

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Speaker 4: she was uncomfortable and not okay with Zach's behavior the

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Speaker 4: previous night, saying that he was no longer welcomed in

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Speaker 4: her home because she does not agree with him welding

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Speaker 4: a firearm wasted and that she saw his finger on

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Speaker 4: the trigger too. Those are two things I agree with. Now,

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Speaker 4: this is what he said, She said.

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Speaker 6: Kind of thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it is.

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Speaker 4: I do get robbed off the wrong way if someone

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Speaker 4: mishandles their firearm, if they like, you know, not safe

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Speaker 4: with it.

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Speaker 2: It's like, oh, yeah, you know, I usually don't like

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Speaker 2: it when people use weapons in a dangerous way too.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I told her that I wouldn't be okay with that either,

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Speaker 4: But that was not what I had witnessed. At the most,

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Speaker 4: he had two martinis, although I saw him drink one,

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Speaker 4: and it was after they looked at the puw pews.

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Speaker 4: Plus he had handed her the pewpew to see, so

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Speaker 4: she was obviously not in any danger unless she mishandled it.

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Speaker 4: Either way, I'm sure this intention was not to make

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Speaker 4: her uncomfortable, so she felt she needed to set that boundary.

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Speaker 4: I support it, but I don't agree with the reasoning.

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Speaker 4: I also asked her that if she was choosing to

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Speaker 4: implement that boundary, to discuss it directly with Zach, because

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Speaker 4: I don't feel like it's my responsibility to middleman that,

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Speaker 4: especially if I saw something different. She did not agree

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Speaker 4: to discuss with him, but I did end up telling

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Speaker 4: him anyway since I was pretty upset. He was also

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Speaker 4: very upset at the news because he had built a

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Speaker 4: relationship with her and my niece over the two years.

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Speaker 4: He ended up deciding to try to call her and

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Speaker 4: bury the hatchet. Did she answer and work things out

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Speaker 4: with him? Big Nope. She did not answer and instead

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Speaker 4: sent him a book worth of text about all the

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Speaker 4: problems with him, saying she wouldn't talk to him because

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Speaker 4: he would just use the conversation against me if she did.

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Speaker 4: She accused him of being a heavy drinker, substance user,

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Speaker 4: unable to handle FI arms properly, financially irresponsible, and added

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Speaker 4: a second boundary with him. On top of not being

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Speaker 4: allowed at their house, he is also unsafe to be

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Speaker 4: around her kid. She said she would not be okay

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Speaker 4: with having him around until she saw physical proof that

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Speaker 4: he was being more financially responsible and getting professional help.

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Speaker 4: Only then could they discuss the possibility of a relationship. Okay, interesting,

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Speaker 4: So she's cutting off the kids to Zach and you

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Speaker 4: can't come around the house.

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Speaker 2: But then he started saying all this stuff about her,

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Speaker 2: about how she doesn't know how to handle weapons, still

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Speaker 2: saying yeah.

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Speaker 4: This led to a lot of disconnect, of course, because

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Speaker 4: I don't feel her discomfort warranted banning him from her house,

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Speaker 4: much less banning him from being around kids. If anything,

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Speaker 4: maybe she should have not chosen to be around our

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Speaker 4: place anymore, or as that we go there, that he

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Speaker 4: not bring a firearm, which he has never done when

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Speaker 4: we go to their place. Anyways, I really think there

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Speaker 4: could have been more reasonable response to the scenario, but

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Speaker 4: I feel like she just knew the situation, claiming a

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Speaker 4: man is unsafe for around children as a whole other

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Speaker 4: playing field. Since she had not done anything to me directly,

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Speaker 4: I went low contact, but I also want to respect

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Speaker 4: my fiance's feelings, so I decided I would also stop

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Speaker 4: going to her house as long as he is uninvited,

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Speaker 4: Even though we are low contact. I still show up

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Speaker 4: to help with three separate health related events, watching the

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Speaker 4: kids and bringing mills, et cetera. I still never disrespected

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Speaker 4: her wish to not have him around the kids, so

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Speaker 4: even when I watched them without her, I would not

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Speaker 4: bring them around our house.

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Speaker 6: Amanda and I.

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Speaker 4: Had a separate fight after all this, where I tried

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Speaker 4: to explain why everything she was saying about him was

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Speaker 4: not correct. I never asked her to change her mind,

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Speaker 4: but I did request again as she talked to Zach

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Speaker 4: and try to find a middle ground, because these are

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Speaker 4: her problems with him, not mine, But she refused again.

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Speaker 4: I don't recall which argument this started, but at some

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Speaker 4: point you started telling me how horrible I was being

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Speaker 4: and I was intentionally neglecting her and her kids and

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Speaker 4: hurting them by my actions. She also blamed her previous

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Speaker 4: divorce on me, saying that I was horrible in the

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Speaker 4: ways I spoke about my niece's bio dad, and it

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Speaker 4: was worse for me to do that because they were married.

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Speaker 4: I never voiced my opinion about him all until she

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Speaker 4: was considering divorce. I feel like there's more to this.

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Speaker 4: The reason she knew to it was there was more

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Speaker 4: underlying here. I don't know what it is.

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Speaker 2: I don't Yeah, I mean that's a big thing to

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Speaker 2: just like throw in there that like wasn't mentioned before. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: my divorce is because of you, Like what that's huge. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: So it's like, what's actually going on?

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Speaker 5: What are we even talking about anymore?

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Speaker 4: Like, Yeah, I'm very confused here. I think she it

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Speaker 4: seems a little planned. You think it's a he said,

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Speaker 4: she said thing. It's sort of like whose word would

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Speaker 4: you take?

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Speaker 6: More?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 6: What do you think? So for you?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I've I.

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Speaker 5: Think everyone's just talking things.

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Speaker 2: They're talking to talk. I feel like op knows what

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Speaker 2: she saw.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I mean it just.

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Speaker 2: It feels like they're trying to talk, but nothing is

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Speaker 2: actually like being said, you know, like we're not getting

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Speaker 2: anywhere from this stuff. She's just like, ah, like this

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Speaker 2: is bad. It is bad to eat it. And then

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Speaker 2: Opie's like okay, but no, and then like you're wrong,

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Speaker 2: and then she's like, well, Nat might have always just

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Speaker 2: got up you, and like she's probably yeah, trying to

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Speaker 2: sabotage back to get some revenge or something.

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Speaker 6: In December, Zach and I got engaged. It was amazing.

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Speaker 4: He took me to a place we often go, so

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Speaker 4: I was not expecting anything. Upon returning to his mom's house,

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Speaker 4: his family had gathered and he had paid to fly

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Speaker 4: my mom and brother in for the weekend and had

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Speaker 4: surprise engagement party planned for me after the proposal. I

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Speaker 4: live very far from all my family except for my sister.

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Speaker 4: They were in town for three nights. The night before

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Speaker 4: when I was unaware they were in town, and then

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Speaker 4: after the engagement party, neither of them told my sister

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Speaker 4: they were in town to keep the surprise, and because

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Speaker 4: my mom had been asked by my sister not to

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Speaker 4: talk about me in a previous conversation, so she obliged.

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Speaker 4: My sister was not invited because Zach planned it, and

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Speaker 4: by her own request, he's not allowed to be around

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Speaker 4: her and her kids, so frankly, why would he invite her?

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Speaker 6: Makes sense? It makes sense.

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Speaker 4: I posted the engagement on social media and my sister

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Speaker 4: saw it while they were still in town. She had

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Speaker 4: her husband call my brother to tell him how upset

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Speaker 4: she was that they made no attempt to come to

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Speaker 4: visit her or even tell her that they were in

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Speaker 4: town so she could come visit. She had a full

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Speaker 4: meltdown ended up cutting out my mom out of her

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Speaker 4: life entirely over saying she lied to her. Even though

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Speaker 4: I'm no longer interested in having my sister as my

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Speaker 4: maid of honor in the upcoming wedding, despite that being

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Speaker 4: my dream since childhood, I still want my niece to

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Speaker 4: be my flower girl. After all, I moved states away

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Speaker 4: from the rest of my family to help raise her

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Speaker 4: in her bio dad's absence slash neglect. So I called

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Speaker 4: my sister and pitched it to her delicately. I told her,

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Speaker 4: since she could take her time and think about it,

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Speaker 4: talk to her current husband, et cetera, and call me back.

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Speaker 4: The conversation ended on a promising note.

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Speaker 6: But then she called back.

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Speaker 4: She immediately started spewing all sorts of lies about mom

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Speaker 4: and my fiance and giving every possible excuse about why

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Speaker 4: she still can't discuss the problems she has with him directly.

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Speaker 6: Not my brightest moment, but she got me fired up enough.

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Speaker 4: I ended up yelling at her over the phone, and

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Speaker 4: I am not one of those who usually yells. I

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Speaker 4: told her I don't care at this point if they

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Speaker 4: never get along, but I would love for her to

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Speaker 4: get to a place where I can be in the

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Speaker 4: same room as my eventually husband and sister and our children.

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Speaker 6: For the holiday.

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Speaker 4: Even if they could just be silent enemies would be great.

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Speaker 4: And it's still not my responsibility to middleman their relationship.

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Speaker 4: But I shouldn't have to suffer just because she won't

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Speaker 4: even talk to him. I have offered every type of

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Speaker 4: conversation too, the three of us four, even with her husband,

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Speaker 4: so she doesn't feel ganged up on. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 4: it makes sense why you yelled at her because it's

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Speaker 4: just a one sided conversation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm exhausted, just like having to listen to her.

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Speaker 6: I'm done.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, it's time. It's like obviously, you know,

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Speaker 2: yelling's never good and you should never yell, but at

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Speaker 2: the same time, like it can be understandable. Why you know,

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Speaker 2: the heat of the moment can get you there when

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Speaker 2: this woman is being pretty fiery.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, just spewing things when you're trying to, like,

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Speaker 4: you know, make peace. Yeah, exactly, the two of them

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Speaker 4: in public, even with a professional counselor or pastor whatever

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Speaker 4: it takes to make her more comfortable, and she just

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Speaker 4: finds more excuses why she can't and continues to demand

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Speaker 4: physical evidence of things that I don't feel like she

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Speaker 4: has a right to. She asks, how is she supposed

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Speaker 4: to know he's safe around her family if I won't

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Speaker 4: give her the evidence? And I said, how about you

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Speaker 4: just trust me when I tell you, as your sister

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Speaker 4: that he is not a danger to you. But she

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Speaker 4: considers the original scenario as a danger to her. I'm

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Speaker 4: done with the sister in law. Yeah, with a sister.

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Speaker 4: She does not want a relationship with Zach. I don't

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Speaker 4: think you can talk her into it. It might even

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Speaker 4: be time to move back home because you went out

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Speaker 4: to be with, like, you know, the kids.

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Speaker 2: But if you can't be around the kids anymore, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: what's the point that? Really it's frustrating when it's like

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Speaker 2: the one thing, it's like, first of all, the kids

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Speaker 2: are in the middle of the situation, yeah, and then

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Speaker 2: like they shouldn't have anything to do with this. But

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Speaker 2: then also too, it's like what can you do, Like

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Speaker 2: there's nothing, You've tried everything, and you're nothing's gonna help, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: get get through to her. So disappointing, but then hopefully,

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Speaker 2: I mean like hopefully they understand, like maybe you can

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Speaker 2: give the kids a gift and write them a nice

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Speaker 2: little card if you are moving away. It's like a

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Speaker 2: going away gift, you know, something to remember me by. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then because like obviously, you know, in a lot

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Speaker 2: of situations, if they did move away and then she

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Speaker 2: would just be like crap talking them to their kids,

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Speaker 2: and then they wouldn't even want.

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Speaker 6: To reach out when you're old.

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Speaker 2: But that's the hope, is that they would reach out

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Speaker 2: when they're older, you know. So yeah, maybe write a

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Speaker 2: late nice letter if you do that. But yeah, it's

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Speaker 2: just very difficult.

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Speaker 4: I agree if I ended with me uninviting her from

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Speaker 4: the wedding completely as well as our lives, because she

290
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Speaker 4: can either have both of us in her life or neither.

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Speaker 4: And also we are not inviting anybody to the wedding

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Speaker 4: who treats the groom that way. She has not tried

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Speaker 4: to reach out to me since, and I also will

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Speaker 4: not speak to her one on one unless Zach is

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Speaker 4: present anyways, because she only feels like she can talk

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Speaker 4: about him if he is not around. I always dreamed

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Speaker 4: of my sister being my maid of honor, and with

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Speaker 4: how much time I spent with my niece raising her,

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Speaker 4: I want her in the wedding. Three months left until

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Speaker 4: the big day, and I can't stop mentally pushing myself

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Speaker 4: over uninviting them. I'm not afraid to change my behavior

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Speaker 4: or apologize if I did something wrong, but I'm not

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Speaker 4: willing to lose my man over something that seems this

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Speaker 4: silly to me.

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Speaker 6: Am I the a hole.

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Speaker 4: Please send advice if I can still have them in

307
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Speaker 4: my wedding somehow, I want that more than anything, And

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Speaker 4: more than that, I can't imagine going the rest of

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Speaker 4: my life having to choose between family time with my

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Speaker 4: sister's family or with my own. I don't know, Man,

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Speaker 4: she needs to have it out with Zach, but she's

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Speaker 4: refusing it because she might be in the wrong.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, it's weird. It's weird. I don't like it. I

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00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,440
Speaker 6: wish we could get her point of view, where like

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Speaker 6: I at least talk to her about this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, get us on the phone with this girl. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we gotta talk to her. We gotta have that conversation.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, God, things say, it's weird, super weird.

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Speaker 2: My sister dislikes my boyfriend, and she's making it obvious.

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Speaker 6: Just not make it so obvious, Okay.

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Speaker 2: I twenty six female have started living together with my

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Speaker 2: partner in twenty six mail after years of a long

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Speaker 2: distance relationship in different countries. We are both very happy. However,

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Speaker 2: my sister twenty six female is in no unclear terms

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Speaker 2: has let it be known that she does not like

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Speaker 2: my partner and does not like the idea of us

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Speaker 2: living together. It's been a few months since I stopped

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Speaker 2: talking to her, and I miss her. But upon over everything,

329
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,280
Speaker 2: there are a lot of warning signs that make me

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Speaker 2: question whether moving forward is actually an option. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from tempership and if you want to submit

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00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the hour slash Okay storytime

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Speaker 2: separate it. So she expressed her views many times before

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Speaker 2: he came. I listened and tried to have a conversation

335
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Speaker 2: and challenge some of those views. I felt it went okay, okay.

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Speaker 2: Warning sign number one when I told her we were

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00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,400
Speaker 2: looking at ways to help him immigrate here and how

338
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:27,800
Speaker 2: difficult it is to move countries in the process is

339
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,080
Speaker 2: starting to stress me out. And the fact there is

340
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:33,920
Speaker 2: economic collapse and bombings in his country and I fear

341
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Speaker 2: for his life. I was crying at this point. Her

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00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,640
Speaker 2: response was that I could just end the relationship and

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00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,760
Speaker 2: then I wouldn't have to worry. Well, that's not a

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00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,040
Speaker 2: reason to end the relationship. I mean, I think you

345
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,800
Speaker 2: don't have to worry, but sure, Warning sign number two

346
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,840
Speaker 2: he arrives first week. She video calls me a few

347
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,080
Speaker 2: times to chat and pretends that he doesn't exist. She

348
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,000
Speaker 2: doesn't ask how he is getting on, moving countries and

349
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Speaker 2: leaving everything familiar behind. I left it for the time

350
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Speaker 2: being because I knew she was still getting used to

351
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Speaker 2: the idea.

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Speaker 5: Warning Sign number three.

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Speaker 2: On one call after we ended, she messaged me to

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00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,800
Speaker 2: go to another room so she could call back. I

355
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,360
Speaker 2: was confused. We had just finished talking. I asked if

356
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,480
Speaker 2: she was okay. A lot of back and forth, but

357
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:16,160
Speaker 2: I relented. She called to grill me about my apparent eyebags.

358
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,520
Speaker 2: She's been commenting on my bags since I was fourteen,

359
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,000
Speaker 2: and to make sure that my partner hasn't been making

360
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,800
Speaker 2: me cry. I was floored. I asked why on earth

361
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:26,440
Speaker 2: would she just say that, and she said that she

362
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,800
Speaker 2: was just making sure that her sister was okay and

363
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,840
Speaker 2: came up with this safe word that she made me

364
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,760
Speaker 2: promise I can use with her even if I ever

365
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,080
Speaker 2: need to. My partner, of course, noticed this when I

366
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,240
Speaker 2: returned and asked if everything was okay with her and

367
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,000
Speaker 2: if she needed help. Over the next few weeks, she

368
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 2: would make comments that it is taking me longer to

369
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,680
Speaker 2: answer the phone than usual, so something must be up

370
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,360
Speaker 2: or I don't want to talk to her. She then

371
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,120
Speaker 2: tried to say that I stopped picking up altogether after

372
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,680
Speaker 2: I missed maybe one or two calls. I said, I

373
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,840
Speaker 2: can literally show her proof I had not missed any

374
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,800
Speaker 2: of her calls, but she didn't care.

375
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Speaker 6: Okay, this is.

376
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:02,000
Speaker 4: My like hot take from what I'm just seeing here.

377
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:07,520
Speaker 4: I think she has a perception of your boyfriend and

378
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:11,119
Speaker 4: kind of what kind of person is and what, you know,

379
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,040
Speaker 4: what kind of scenario you're in, and she does not

380
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,960
Speaker 4: like this person at all or like, you know, the type.

381
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,440
Speaker 4: I think maybe a little xenophobic or maybe a little

382
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,040
Speaker 4: toucher might be going into this.

383
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,120
Speaker 2: It seems like that's what I wonder, like what those

384
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,199
Speaker 2: countries are and if there's like a history of that.

385
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,159
Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's why she's like, Oh, she must not

386
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,440
Speaker 4: be herself or might not be unhappy. So that's why

387
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,159
Speaker 4: she's doing kind of going out of her way and

388
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,919
Speaker 4: making sure that you're safe. Ope, that's kind of what

389
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,479
Speaker 4: I'm noticing. Yeah, but and that's why she's stepping up.

390
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:39,359
Speaker 6: Yeah, I know.

391
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,879
Speaker 2: Yeah. On one occasion, she called and I was in

392
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,199
Speaker 2: a library, so I had declined the call and message

393
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,359
Speaker 2: her saying that I couldn't talk right now. I'm in

394
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,480
Speaker 2: the library and I will call back when I can

395
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:53,679
Speaker 2: warning sign number four. Any other person would say, okay

396
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:56,439
Speaker 2: and wait. She proceeds to call me five more times

397
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,359
Speaker 2: and text me over messages, saying since I have my boyfriend,

398
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:02,359
Speaker 2: that doesn't mean I started neglecting her and pushing my

399
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,720
Speaker 2: family aside. I was honestly so confused. I had no

400
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,840
Speaker 2: idea where this was coming from, so I just put

401
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,879
Speaker 2: my phone away and got on with what I was doing.

402
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,520
Speaker 2: This was not normal behavior, and when I got home

403
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,840
Speaker 2: I said this to her. And this, combined with a

404
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,320
Speaker 2: long and challenging day of work, I did not want

405
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:19,920
Speaker 2: to speak with her that day, but I will call tomorrow.

406
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,639
Speaker 2: That also did not go down well, repeated to the

407
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:26,000
Speaker 2: point that anytime my phone vibrated I instantly felt anxious

408
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,080
Speaker 2: that it would be her and trying to mentally prepare

409
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,960
Speaker 2: myself for the onslaught. My partner saw the effects this

410
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,920
Speaker 2: was having on me and told me that her behavior

411
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,720
Speaker 2: is toxic and I should not put up with it.

412
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,560
Speaker 2: I felt that he's kind of right, but at the

413
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,359
Speaker 2: same time, this is my sister and just how she is,

414
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,080
Speaker 2: so I put up with it. Morning sign number five,

415
00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:46,000
Speaker 2: Christmas Day, we were spending in a part due to

416
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,560
Speaker 2: the pandemic, but video called my mom and her conversation

417
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,960
Speaker 2: felt nice until my sister said that in three days

418
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,040
Speaker 2: she will be coming to ours, no request, no word

419
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,760
Speaker 2: of warning. I told her that that's a little too soon,

420
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,480
Speaker 2: and her response, because us moved in was last minute,

421
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:04,600
Speaker 2: she was therefore also allowed to be last minute. That's

422
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,879
Speaker 2: not how that works. What like?

423
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,960
Speaker 5: But I because I made a.

424
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,919
Speaker 2: Last minute decision to move in with my boyfriend, that

425
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,760
Speaker 2: means that anyone now can make a last minute decision

426
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 2: to come stay with us. That's not how that works. No,

427
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:23,240
Speaker 2: not how that works. That's crazy. That's crazy logic. I

428
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 2: don't think she's using any logic. It's yeah, yeah, it's

429
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:30,959
Speaker 2: no logic, illogical. I said I would think about it

430
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,919
Speaker 2: and hung up. I was crying. My partner was livid

431
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,120
Speaker 2: and how disrespectful she had been to both of us,

432
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,639
Speaker 2: ruining our first Christmas together and constantly making me upset

433
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 2: every time she calls. That day, I sent her a

434
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,639
Speaker 2: long message telling her how she had hurt me and

435
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,960
Speaker 2: my partner due to her complete lack of concern for

436
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,480
Speaker 2: the feelings of others and her feeling that it is

437
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 2: her right to make her opinions heard, no matter the impact.

438
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,240
Speaker 2: I blocked her on that day and asked for space

439
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,240
Speaker 2: for a while. Now we've got warnings sign number six.

440
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,800
Speaker 2: She called me from hidden numbers and work numbers, and

441
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,880
Speaker 2: then it blocked me back. There have been a few

442
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 2: texts between us since to wish happy birthday and talk

443
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:10,000
Speaker 2: about gifts for parents for Birthday, Mothers and Father's Day.

444
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,200
Speaker 2: I sent a long text to her detailing my feelings

445
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,600
Speaker 2: and how her behavior was not okay. She hurt me

446
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,919
Speaker 2: and she hurt my partner, and even if she doesn't

447
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,680
Speaker 2: like him, that doesn't give her the right to treat

448
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,720
Speaker 2: him so badly. And I don't intervene in her relationship

449
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 2: with her boyfriend, So why is she so involved in

450
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:28,119
Speaker 2: causing issues between us sisters. Her response was that she

451
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,679
Speaker 2: was just looking out as my sister.

452
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 5: She has to say what she feels her right.

453
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 2: It's up to my partner to make the effort, and

454
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,680
Speaker 2: if it is my choice to put my partner before

455
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 2: my family, then so be it. I didn't respond because

456
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 2: this is BS. Yeah, that is BS. I'm sorry, I

457
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,160
Speaker 2: have an opinion, So that means I have to say

458
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,359
Speaker 2: it when it comes to your relationship. Wrong, that's wrong.

459
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:50,040
Speaker 6: Yeah.

460
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 4: Oh, there's also the thing where like you keep your

461
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,120
Speaker 4: nose in your own business.

462
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:57,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, so exactly, stop sniffing everyone else's butte.

463
00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 4: I understand a sibling wanted to add or make sure

464
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 4: that you know they're okay and they're solid in the

465
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 4: relationship to a point.

466
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean it's yeah, it's a little weird.

467
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,440
Speaker 2: Everyone's different. So it's like, even if you have your

468
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 2: family members in a relationship, like you probably wouldn't date

469
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 2: that person honestly, but there are things that they can

470
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 2: probably like put up with in that relationship that you wouldn't,

471
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. But that doesn't mean that

472
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,280
Speaker 2: they have to say that. I'd be like, oh, I

473
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,359
Speaker 2: don't know, I think that a non negotiable for me.

474
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 2: That means that you guys should stop doing Yeah, no, it's.

475
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 7: Like you're you're not in the relationship. Yeah, exactly, you're

476
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 7: not in this relationship.

477
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,680
Speaker 2: Where are there on it? Get out of there, Get out.

478
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:40,600
Speaker 5: I was hoping for an apology.

479
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 2: My partner believes I should insist on one before trying

480
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,159
Speaker 2: to resume contact. I know my sister and this is

481
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,000
Speaker 2: the most I will get for the time being. My

482
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 2: mom thinks this too. She needs to work in her

483
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 2: attitude and how she interacts with people, because although this

484
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 2: is the worst I've seen it with myself, it is

485
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 2: definitely her default and it's not healthy for her or

486
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 2: her relationships. Life is short, too short to have negative

487
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 2: and hurtful people in your life, but also too short

488
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 2: to not try to make amends somehow, if it is possible.

489
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 2: This has been the only significant rift between my sister

490
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 2: and I. I don't know what to do from here.

491
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 2: Any advice and we do have an update? Yeah, man,

492
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean it's hard because there are

493
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 2: some situations where it's like Okay, yeah, you are pushing

494
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:24,080
Speaker 2: out your family, or like you are actually differently because

495
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,120
Speaker 2: of your relationship or whatever, and then other people outside

496
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 2: of your relationship have to be like, yo, this isn't cool.

497
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 2: This is not a cool relationship. You're not happy, like

498
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 2: as you're a sibling. You know, I'm gonna let you

499
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 2: know this isn't great. But this seems like everything isn't

500
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 2: like valid. She doesn't have anything that she's actually going

501
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 2: off of. Like everything, there's nothing that we're hearing anyway

502
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 2: from her reasoning and stuff is not actually reasons to

503
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,160
Speaker 2: break up exactly.

504
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,959
Speaker 7: And that's like I feel like, as an individual, when

505
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,160
Speaker 7: you're in a relationship, you have to be really attuned

506
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 7: to what those red flags are, yeah, to know when

507
00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 7: it's just like when the red flags are coming from

508
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,440
Speaker 7: your family, when they're coming from your partner, which is hard.

509
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 2: It's hard to make that exactly decision.

510
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 4: The thing is, though, like I see where the sister's

511
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,520
Speaker 4: coming from, because I've seen siblings like worry about other

512
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 4: relationships where they should not be in.

513
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, you gotta trust them.

514
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 4: And at a point too, like even if like I

515
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 4: was in a situation once so my brother's like, dude,

516
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 4: you got to get out of that, and I was

517
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:24,520
Speaker 4: not listening to him, and I learned like a hard way.

518
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 2: Right, and that's what needs to happen sometimes And like

519
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 2: this again, this doesn't really seem like the situation, yeah,

520
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:33,880
Speaker 2: exactly doing that, but the sister still either way, will

521
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,879
Speaker 2: need to realize like, hey, even though I have my

522
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,679
Speaker 2: disagreements for whatever reason, even though she's using no logic

523
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 2: at all, it's still not my mistakes to take. But anyway,

524
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 2: we do have an updates. So she said, I'm incredibly

525
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,880
Speaker 2: self centered and selfish in my relationship because I made

526
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 2: my partner my priority over family. Of course I did.

527
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,440
Speaker 2: He moved countries and left everything and everyone he knew

528
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 2: behind so that we could be together. I needed to

529
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 2: spend a lot more of my time an effort on

530
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 2: helping him adjust. But in no way does that mean

531
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,960
Speaker 2: I stopped caring about her. She went on about how

532
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,200
Speaker 2: I had been so hard to reach when he first

533
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,439
Speaker 2: moved in, how I stopped picking up the phone and

534
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 2: took longer to respond, indicating to her that I was

535
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,359
Speaker 2: happy in my little bubble and didn't care about anyone else.

536
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 2: I have physical proof that I missed maybe one or

537
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,919
Speaker 2: two of her calls, but called right back, but she

538
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,400
Speaker 2: refused to acknowledge this. I explained that he is now

539
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 2: my family, so he is as important to me as

540
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 2: my sister and parents are, and if anything was to

541
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 2: happen to me, he will be the one to help

542
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 2: me or look after me as we live together. As

543
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,640
Speaker 2: far as I'm aware, this is perfectly normal to prioritize

544
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 2: your new family that you've created as an adult and

545
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 2: who you share life with. She feels that it's not,

546
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 2: and that whoever she lives with, I will always be

547
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,360
Speaker 2: her number one priority. I told her that that's crazy.

548
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,360
Speaker 2: She told me it's crazy that I wouldn't put her

549
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 2: as my number one? Is this self centered of me

550
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 2: to think this way? She accepts that her behavior upset me,

551
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 2: but I should know that that's just how she is.

552
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,920
Speaker 2: She's always been like that and her boyfriend's so why

553
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 2: don't I. I express that her attitude has always always

554
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 2: upset me, but I always just used to let it go.

555
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,119
Speaker 2: But that doesn't mean that the way she talks and

556
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,679
Speaker 2: does things is okay. Her view is that it's my

557
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 2: fault for being so sensitive and that I always played

558
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,119
Speaker 2: the victim and I'm doing just that right now. I

559
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 2: said what she did was unacceptable and she needs to

560
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 2: recognize the hurt her actions caused in me. Am I

561
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 2: playing the victim? No, dude, no, her saying like you're

562
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 2: playing the victim? You do? It's like my goodness. Like,

563
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:34,400
Speaker 2: I know OP is saying that she's doing things too,

564
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 2: but OP is mostly just saying like, hey, I was

565
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 2: hurt by this, you know, And if that's the case

566
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 2: on the sister's end, she's not voicing that at all,

567
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,160
Speaker 2: because I probably is the case. She's probably really just like, Hey,

568
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 2: I'm just hurt and I just missing it.

569
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, I lost a friend this way.

570
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 4: I got into a relationship and couldn't be at her

571
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,440
Speaker 4: beck and call twenty four to seven. She freaked out

572
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 4: and we ended our friendship, married that man and has

573
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,880
Speaker 4: been so and I still miss her sometimes.

574
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 6: I have seen this happen before.

575
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,959
Speaker 2: I've seen what happened too, and it sucks because it's like, well,

576
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,399
Speaker 2: maybe you should have proposed then if you wanted to

577
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 2: be with me forever, man, Like, maybe you should have

578
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:15,440
Speaker 2: figured that out. I said that what she did was

579
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,120
Speaker 2: unacceptable and she needs to recognize that hurt her actions

580
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 2: caused in me. Am I playing the victim? No, she said,

581
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 2: all of these problems were unnecessary and it's me somehow

582
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 2: having a problem of her looking out for me. She

583
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 2: was simply asking if I'm okay and making sure that

584
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,639
Speaker 2: I'm safe in the relationship. As she does not trust

585
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 2: my judgment and knowing if my relationship is toxic or not.

586
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 2: Matza and I are just insulting me. Great, I said,

587
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 2: I appreciate her looking out for me, but it is

588
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 2: not her role as a judge and assess the situation

589
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 2: and decide if she needs to take control and intervene. Instead,

590
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:46,679
Speaker 2: she should express her concerns and views and let me

591
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 2: make my own decisions as an autonomous adult with some

592
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 2: gosh dag intelligence. She refused and said that she didn't

593
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 2: trust me and that no relationship that started online my

594
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,360
Speaker 2: partners in mine did can ever be healthy.

595
00:26:59,560 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 6: Wow.

596
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 4: Oh that's crazy, jeez man. So you're saying that this

597
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 4: is not healthy at all.

598
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're saying that, like everyone in chat right now

599
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 2: can't have a healthy relationship with.

600
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 4: Us anytime you have a significant other. That's why you

601
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 4: shouldn't be watching Okay story time. You should be watching

602
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,399
Speaker 4: Okay story downe that much. You're like the sister of

603
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 4: that person. You or the sister.

604
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 2: Replay this for them to be like, yeah, this is

605
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 2: this is true. This is you dude?

606
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 6: Really?

607
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 2: She said she doesn't care about my partner and she

608
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 2: would be behaving like this no matter who it was.

609
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 2: I told her that that is straight up not normal

610
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 2: or healthy. It's toxic and that needs to be addressed.

611
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 2: She pulled the family card that I should have been

612
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,120
Speaker 2: the bigger person and let her behavior continue until she

613
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 2: was satisfied that I was not being stupid blindly stumbling

614
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 2: into living with the person I know nothing about because

615
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,640
Speaker 2: I can't possibly know someone in a distance to relationship. Man,

616
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,400
Speaker 2: oh man, there's more to this story, but every single

617
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 2: sentence makes less and less sense by this woman.

618
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:53,240
Speaker 6: I've just realized with these last couple of stories, sister

619
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,399
Speaker 6: in laws are exhausting.

620
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, they can be.

621
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 6: I'm rethinking our relationship.

622
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:01,880
Speaker 2: I've got two sisters, you've got none, So yeah, what's

623
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 2: gonna happen there?

624
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 6: You find someone that has no siblings or just brothers.

625
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 2: Cool, have fun with that. Anyway, There's more to this story.

626
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 2: So when our dad shouts and swears at us when

627
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 2: he's angry, I pointed out the way that he behaved

628
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 2: has been in no way acceptable and she should have

629
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 2: never put up with that. She agreed, but she said

630
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,359
Speaker 2: that she has now managed to process that in herself,

631
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,640
Speaker 2: and when it happens, she just detaches herself from the situation.

632
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,840
Speaker 2: This broke my heart and I told her that that's

633
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 2: not a healthy behavior. It should never have reached that point.

634
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 2: I don't think she got this, and still reiterated her

635
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 2: point that I should have put up with her until

636
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 2: she was satisfied.

637
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 5: I said I did for weeks.

638
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 2: Until I had enough on Christmas Day, but apparently that

639
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 2: wasn't long enough. She said she was relieved when I

640
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 2: blocked her, that she didn't have to deal with this

641
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 2: nonsense anymore and let me get on with it. I'm

642
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 2: disappointed we couldn't move forward. I really want to hear

643
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 2: if the problem is truly with me playing victim, or

644
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 2: if her behavior is the problem. The conversation has completely

645
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 2: drained me. I don't even know what to think any more.

646
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 1: Sam, Here, we're gonna get back to the stories.

647
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 2: But here's three of its bads from our sponsors. My

648
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 2: friend who once rejected me now likes me because I

649
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 2: have money.

650
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 3: Gotta get those bills, you know, actually plenty or shame

651
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 3: in it.

652
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 2: Three years ago in university, I male twenty five told

653
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 2: one of my best friends, female twenty five that I

654
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 2: was in love with her. After pouring my heart out

655
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 2: she told me that she likes tall guys. Being told

656
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,600
Speaker 2: that I wasn't tall enough hurt quite a lot, but

657
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 2: she wasn't trying to be mean, just frank. By the way,

658
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 2: this comes from G say it jas idn D I

659
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 2: j wiss j D.

660
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 3: I think it's the keyboards keyboard smash yeah, and.

661
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 2: If you want to submit your own stories, go to

662
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 2: the hour slash. Okay, sorry, time separate it. So eighteen

663
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 2: months ago I started a company that expanded very quickly,

664
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 2: and I now have over thirty employees. Obviously, being the

665
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 2: owner of a company this size, I now have a

666
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 2: lot more money. Anyway, Over the years, we've stayed good friends.

667
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 2: On Wednesday, three days ago, she told me that she

668
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 2: has feelings for me and wants to be together.

669
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 5: She kissed me. We have a lot of history and

670
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 5: I do still love her. I told her that I

671
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:12,440
Speaker 5: would have to think about it.

672
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 2: I know that it's easy to assume that she just

673
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 2: wants to use me, But is it possible that she

674
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 2: now has real feelings for me? Can power make a

675
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 2: man more attractive? Am I still the same person as before?

676
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 2: Haven't changed at all? Part of me suspects that she

677
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 2: wants my money. But at the same time, I love

678
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 2: her so much and we've been close friends for a

679
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 2: long time. It's just the worst timing ever because the

680
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 2: money makes me question her motives. And there are some comments.

681
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 2: But do you think she's being genuine here or do

682
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 2: you think that it's because of the mulah?

683
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 3: I think there is a chance, like people can develop

684
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 3: feelings over time. Sure, I don't think so.

685
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 2: I think it's the money in this case.

686
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 3: Especially because she's like I liked tall guys and all

687
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 3: of a sudden, but also she.

688
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 7: Was yeah, she was twenty two. Yeah, and it's been

689
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 7: three years. I think pieces I haven't changed, but she

690
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 7: could have changed.

691
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 6: True.

692
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 5: Maybe maybe there are some comments.

693
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 2: Young Jolie says, it go out with her and split

694
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 2: everything fifty to fifty, see what happens. Opie says, I

695
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 2: would feel so weird doing that. I've always paid at

696
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 2: least at the first date, so it would be especially

697
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 2: weird now that I have plenty of money. Plus she's

698
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 2: been having money problems. Dalita says, there could be a

699
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 2: huge change in someone from twenty two to twenty five.

700
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 2: I can't tell if she's a gold digger or not.

701
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:27,719
Speaker 5: Did you ask her.

702
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 1: What's changed?

703
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 2: Why is she interested now as she ever appeared? Shallop?

704
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 2: What do you like about her? Opie says, No, I

705
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,719
Speaker 2: didn't ask her if anything has changed. From my end,

706
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,720
Speaker 2: everything is exactly the same. She dated a very rich

707
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 2: guy a while back, and she likes nice things, but

708
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 2: not too different from anyone else. What do I like

709
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 2: about her?

710
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 5: Where do I start?

711
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 2: She's beautiful and smart, we can talk about anything. She

712
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 2: makes life bearable. We have the same sense of humor everything. Really,

713
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 2: I think she just likes you, as Carol Soup says,

714
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 2: from what you've said in your comments, example, she hasn't

715
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 2: had a good job since she graduated. You always pay

716
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 2: when you guys hang out. I wouldn't be surprised if

717
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 2: your money is what she's most attracted to. I don't

718
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 2: mean to think she's sitting in a darkened room plotting

719
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 2: to take your money and laughing maniacally to herself, but

720
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 2: it seems to me like she's now in a stage

721
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 2: in her life where she realizes that she doesn't have

722
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 2: the means to support the lifestyle that she wants herself.

723
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 2: You already pay for your outings, so you're the perfect candidate.

724
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 2: The working Deed one one two says I would have

725
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 2: major difficulty trusting the relationship, and the most important question

726
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 2: I would ask is will she have a good income

727
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 2: herself and she will be financially successful without you? Then

728
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 2: maybe she now sees you in a different light, and yeah,

729
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 2: I could trust her. If she is or was a

730
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 2: theater major working at Chili is expecting to rely on

731
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 2: you for financial support.

732
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 5: Then I would move on out of curiosity.

733
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 2: What type of business is it? OPI said she majored

734
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 2: in psychology, but doesn't want to go back to school

735
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 2: to study and hasn't really had a decent job since

736
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 2: she graduated. She wanted to be a psychologist, but I

737
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 2: don't think she has any idea now. That's one of

738
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 2: the main major reasons I question her. It's a software company.

739
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 2: What other type of business actually turns a profit these days?

740
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 2: Opie is replying to a deleted comment. She lost her

741
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 2: job three months ago, so I helped her with money

742
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 2: for two months after that, but she got another job

743
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 2: a month or so ago. Sincerely, x X says that

744
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 2: you wrote that you have let her three five hundred

745
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 2: dollars these past few months.

746
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 5: That's that's that's a big detail that.

747
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 2: We need to know.

748
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 1: Wow, that's not like lending her a couple hundred that

749
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: that's that's.

750
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's not like paying for in and out when

751
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 2: you guys go out. No, that's wow.

752
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 7: Yeah.

753
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 2: The commenter keeps going, that's a crazy amount to borrow

754
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 2: from her friend. I'm a hopeless romantic and want to

755
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 2: see the best. But the fact that you have been

756
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 2: just friends for years, she told you she wasn't interested

757
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 2: in me before, and now that you have lent her

758
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:53,479
Speaker 2: three point five k, she wants you. I think it's

759
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 2: clear what her motives are. Opie says it was two

760
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 2: thousand last year, and one fifty two months ago, and

761
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 2: three thirty five hundred all fifteen hundred two months. Yeah,

762
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 2: fifteen hundred that's what I meant to say. Yeah, dank, yikes, dude, dang. Yeah,

763
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 2: that's a lot. But she hasn't paid any of it

764
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:14,839
Speaker 2: back yet. The two KI told her not to worry

765
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 2: about why. She has just sort of gotten back on

766
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 2: her feet after struggling in the previous two months. There

767
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 2: is an update for.

768
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 3: Opie, who are you that you can say, hey, don't

769
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 3: pay me back two thousand dollars?

770
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think There are two kind of scenarios.

771
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 7: One, she's a gold digger and she's seeing him spend

772
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 7: all this money and she's like, oh, I can be

773
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 7: with someone who has all this money.

774
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

775
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 7: The second one is she's seeing someone take care of

776
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 7: her and spend all this money on her and is like, Wow,

777
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 7: this person's really nice. I have feelings for them because

778
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 7: they've been so nice and loving and stuff.

779
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 1: Yeah.

780
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, who to say, I wish one? Honestly, Yeah, because

781
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,959
Speaker 2: I was I was thinking like, yeah, maybe I feel

782
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 2: like if it was a gold digger kind of thing,

783
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 2: it would be more immediate. But I actually I don't

784
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 2: really know, because then, like you know, if he's been

785
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 2: taking care of her like this for so long, maybe

786
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,720
Speaker 2: after a while she's just like she's kind of falling

787
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 2: for him because of the money, which could be genuine

788
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 2: and could get to genuine emotions.

789
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 3: Like if they're spending a lot of time together, there

790
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:18,839
Speaker 3: could be that development of feelings. Like if they're spending

791
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 3: more time together now than they did when they were

792
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:25,800
Speaker 3: first like kind of friends, and he like confessed his feelings, Yeah, Okay,

793
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 3: possibly there could be like that development. It's just the

794
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 3: money complicates at all, Like if she was paying him

795
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 3: back actively, right, Okay, Fine, there's like she's probably not

796
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 3: in it for the money at that point because she's

797
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 3: like not relying upon that financial contribution.

798
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 2: Right right. Yeah, So it's like, even if there are like, uh,

799
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 2: genuine feelings involved, we could probably have a good conversation

800
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:55,240
Speaker 2: about finances, just to just to start, because that's already

801
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,320
Speaker 2: just an important thing in a relationship anyway that you

802
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,839
Speaker 2: want to be on the same page on, so at

803
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:02,760
Speaker 2: least have a conversation.

804
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 3: I would think as a strategy, try being less extravagy,

805
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 3: like go on cheaper dates.

806
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 2: For a bit, like do more gestures rather than do

807
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 2: like have.

808
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 3: Free activities like go to the park, go to like

809
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 3: Shakespeare in the Park, go to take a walk or something,

810
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:19,839
Speaker 3: going a bike or I go on a hike.

811
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 1: And if she's like after maybe a.

812
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 3: Month or so, she's still as attracted without the outpouring

813
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 3: of the money and without the extravagance, yeah, maybe that

814
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 3: point you're okay to kind of continue it. Yeah, because

815
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:35,439
Speaker 3: after maybe a month or two of that she would

816
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 3: get bored and move on the erectally yeah critically right, Yeah.

817
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 2: That's a great idea. Since she told me that she

818
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 2: didn't want me many years ago. It's not like I've

819
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 2: been lusting after her, but the feelings were still there.

820
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 2: I know that everyone told me that it was a

821
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 2: bad idea, but I had to try. I took everyone's

822
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 2: advice and made sure that I didn't pay for anything

823
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 2: that was extravagant.

824
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 5: Look at you or over the talk.

825
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 2: Anyway, last week we went on two dates, the whole

826
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 2: dinner and a movie thing, and also went to the museum.

827
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,360
Speaker 2: Earlier this week we went to a play which sucked.

828
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 2: We got some food, after which we had spicy Sleep,

829
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 2: which has been a long time coming.

830
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 1: All was good, great.

831
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,839
Speaker 2: Actually, yesterday I went over to her house to bring

832
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,319
Speaker 2: her lunch. I knew she was home. I picked up

833
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,279
Speaker 2: some Chinese food and drove to her apartment. I have

834
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,320
Speaker 2: the spare key to her place, so I opened the

835
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 2: door and went in and I see her. Think some

836
00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 2: guy on the couch, do we knock, knock?

837
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:31,439
Speaker 6: He had the key.

838
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, he had the spare key.

839
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 3: And if they just had the spicy sleep, you know, yeah,

840
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 3: he considering what they've been through and what they've been

841
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 3: talking about, I don't think he would have expected to

842
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 3: come to that.

843
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, nikes, dude.

844
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 2: Yet in the act we made eye contact and then

845
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 2: I just walked out.

846
00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 5: She called me like an hour later and.

847
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 2: Told me that we weren't exclusive, and then if I

848
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 2: didn't want her to be with the other guys, that's fine.

849
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 2: An hour later, this girl was like, oh, oh, sorry,

850
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:04,759
Speaker 2: let's just get back to it.

851
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,839
Speaker 1: Like she's in the middle of something.

852
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, something, she's got it to do, list right on

853
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 2: her schedule for the day, Like.

854
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,560
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, priorities.

855
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I am less certain that she wants

856
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 2: to be with him for real reasons. Now, yeah, me

857
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,800
Speaker 2: too that if I didn't want her to be with

858
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 2: other guys, that's fine, but I needed to tell her

859
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:27,720
Speaker 2: in advance.

860
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:30,919
Speaker 5: I told her to get fed. I don't have time

861
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:31,800
Speaker 5: for bs like that.

862
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 2: So that was fun.

863
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,360
Speaker 5: But there are some comments to this story.

864
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 2: So Hannasuki says, Honestly, OPI, if you didn't try this,

865
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,800
Speaker 2: you probably would be thinking what if and regret not trying.

866
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,439
Speaker 2: I know it hurts, but now you know for sure.

867
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:48,320
Speaker 2: Opie says, yeah, I know. It just sucks because I

868
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,879
Speaker 2: thought we were in a really good place. The firefly says,

869
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:54,320
Speaker 2: here's the thing. If you hadn't had the we're exclusive conversation,

870
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 2: her sleeping with or dating other people is fair game.

871
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 5: That tends to be how things work.

872
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:02,080
Speaker 2: That being said, since she was the one who expressed

873
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 2: interest in you, I think you made the right call.

874
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 2: If she was really invested in making this work and

875
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 2: it wasn't about the money, she wouldn't have been so

876
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 2: keen on effing another guy. If she really wanted you,

877
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,840
Speaker 2: and since you've been friends for years, didn't need to

878
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,279
Speaker 2: do the whole getting to know you thing, she would have.

879
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 5: Acted like it said.

880
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, Opie responds, If she was really invested in making

881
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:27,280
Speaker 2: this work and it wasn't about the money, she wouldn't

882
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 2: have been so so keen on having the other guy. Yeah,

883
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,880
Speaker 2: so she's just, I guess repeating the commentary because that

884
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 2: is a very true line. She since says, I personally

885
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 2: have never done this, but I've had it done to me.

886
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 2: Did you guys have a conversation about where you wanted

887
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 2: it to go? Ohpi says, not specifically, but when she

888
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 2: told me that she had feelings for me, she said

889
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:51,320
Speaker 2: I want us to be together. I thought that was

890
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 2: pretty self explanatory. Oh, this poor guy is just so

891
00:39:54,760 --> 00:40:01,399
Speaker 2: in love. He's just that he'll take anything. Deleted says,

892
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 2: So if you weren't exclusive or serious, then why did

893
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 2: you have a key to her place? Opie says, It's

894
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,320
Speaker 2: not like she had a key cut specifically for me.

895
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 2: She gave me the spare key to her place ages ago.

896
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,839
Speaker 2: I don't know why the idea of giving your spare

897
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,440
Speaker 2: key to a friend in case you get locked out

898
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 2: is so foreigned everyone.

899
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:17,879
Speaker 7: Yeah, guys, I'm gonna have a key to Riley's place.

900
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 2: There you go, but I'm gonna knock.

901
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go.

902
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:23,840
Speaker 2: So yeah, I took it home the Chinese food and

903
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 2: ate it all. It was pretty good, but I ate

904
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 2: way too much. Spectrum twenty eighty one says, Dude, having

905
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 2: a spare key you can use in case your friend

906
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 2: gets locked out is fine. Inviting yourself over without so

907
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 2: much as a call or text and letting yourself in

908
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 2: set spare key without ringing the doorbell. Come on, that's

909
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,919
Speaker 2: live in boyfriend territory and you are only a few

910
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 2: dates in. I'm not saying you should have dated the

911
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 2: girl in the first place, but yeah, you were clearly

912
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 2: way farther into this relationship than you had any rational

913
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 2: encouragement to be so Railroad to Baron says, I think

914
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 2: it depends on the level of friendship. I have a

915
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 2: friend who has an open door policy. He home, You're

916
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 2: welcome to just walk right in. We have no idea

917
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 2: how often he used the spare key in visiting her,

918
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 2: but I would guess often since he doesn't think it's weird. Ope,

919
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 2: he says, that's pretty much it. When I came over

920
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 2: as a friend, I never had to tell her. I

921
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 2: would just come over, there we go. I've certainly never

922
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,839
Speaker 2: walked in on her with another guy before. Generally, if

923
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:20,239
Speaker 2: she knew she was seeing someone, I would give her

924
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:21,359
Speaker 2: space and not come over.

925
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:25,240
Speaker 3: My bridesmaid is furious with me because she couldn't attend

926
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:26,399
Speaker 3: my bachelorette party.

927
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:28,960
Speaker 5: Oh well, go Crimey River.

928
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 3: I twenty six female. I'm getting married later this year

929
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 3: and have four bridesmaid. One is my maid of honor.

930
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,800
Speaker 3: I'll call her Lisa. Another one lives out of the

931
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 3: country and is not involved in any of this drama,

932
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 3: so I'll leave her out of this convo entirely. Pam

933
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 3: is finishing up law school on the opposite coast from

934
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 3: the rest of us. Ali twenty six female is the

935
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 3: last bridesmaid and is one of my oldest friends. By

936
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:54,840
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from drama Lama ninety five and

937
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,880
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your stories, go to the

938
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 3: r slash Okay story time subreddit. So we've been talking

939
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 3: about planning a bachelorette party for a little while now,

940
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 3: but it took a little while for things to get

941
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:07,279
Speaker 3: off the ground. A lot of that was due to

942
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 3: my own indecision where I wanted to go and when.

943
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 3: Months back, Ali tried to talk to the group about

944
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 3: their availability for a bachelorette party, but it was just

945
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 3: way too early for anyone to know their schedules. Lisa

946
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 3: was in town with me last weekend for a dress fitting,

947
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 3: so we were talking about the bachelorette Typically it is

948
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 3: the maid of honors duty to plan this, so she

949
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,720
Speaker 3: has been expecting to plan it all along. We agreed

950
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 3: it'd be really fun to visit pam'stown on the other

951
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 3: side of the country. I've never been and have just

952
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 3: been passing away to visit Pam out there, and Pam

953
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 3: has unfortunately been a little left out of some of

954
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 3: the other activities like Spridesmad's dress shopping because she's on

955
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,280
Speaker 3: the opposite coast. Because Pam is finishing up law school,

956
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 3: she asked that we wait until she completes the bar.

957
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:55,279
Speaker 3: So she suggested the weekend after. Anything later than that

958
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 3: would be tough because it would be very close to

959
00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 3: the wedding weekend and most people would be traveling for

960
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:03,280
Speaker 3: the weekend as well. Lisa and my fiance both agreed

961
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,200
Speaker 3: it would be best to just pick a weekend and

962
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 3: when whoever can make it great and whoever not, oh well,

963
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:10,840
Speaker 3: because you can't please everybody.

964
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 2: That's honestly a good way to do it. I feel like,

965
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 2: even if it wasn't like a wedding thing, when you're

966
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 2: trying to make plans with friends, with a lot of

967
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:22,280
Speaker 2: friends too, I mean, I guess only like four bride days,

968
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 2: but still you kind of just gotta yeah and then

969
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 2: have everyone.

970
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,719
Speaker 3: Especially as adult, it's so hard for us to like

971
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:34,439
Speaker 3: balance time to like get together, yeah, because you've got work,

972
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 3: like you've got law school, you've got the bar exam

973
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,360
Speaker 3: for For Pam, that's that's an insane amount of stress

974
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:42,759
Speaker 3: and something that's honestly should be more priority than like

975
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 3: dress shopping or a bachelor It's important as that is

976
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 3: I'm not like taking away any importance to show like

977
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 3: this is a one time thing, whereas like law school,

978
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 3: the bar, the rest of your life that I think

979
00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 3: has a little more weight.

980
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:58,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, totally.

981
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 3: I reached out to Ali to see if that weekend

982
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 3: would work for her. She said she would be at

983
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 3: a wedding an hour away that weekend. I saw this

984
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 3: as a great thing because she would already be in

985
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,280
Speaker 3: the area and we were thinking of doing an extended

986
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 3: weekend there anyway, so she'd only miss one night of activities.

987
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 3: She said she doesn't want to rent a car or

988
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 3: drive anywhere. I said we could still come to her,

989
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 3: but she still sounded iffy. I said I would try

990
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:26,800
Speaker 3: to work something out with another weekend, but I haven't

991
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 3: found anything that works with my own schedule. I think

992
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:34,360
Speaker 3: as the person getting married, your schedule is the most important.

993
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:35,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, if anyone needs to be there, it's you.

994
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 3: I decided to move forward with that weekend and sent

995
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 3: out an intro email to my friend saying that Lisa

996
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 3: would handle the details, but I wanted to gauge who

997
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 3: could or could not make it.

998
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 1: I expected Ali.

999
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 3: Would be disappointed or would maybe try to make it work.

1000
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:54,319
Speaker 3: But instead she was angry. She said that it felt

1001
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 3: like a slap in the face after she tried to

1002
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 3: organize something earlier in the year, and that she was

1003
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 3: really her I said that I understood, and her feelings

1004
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 3: are justified, but that Lisa should be planning it since

1005
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,880
Speaker 3: she is the maid of honor. Ali then said that

1006
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 3: Lisa has done a crappy job of communicating anything, and

1007
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 3: since I'm spending a crap ton of money on your wedding,

1008
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 3: the least you could have done was check availability, because

1009
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 3: it's clear I wanted to attend the bachelorette.

1010
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,319
Speaker 1: I agreed she was right.

1011
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,360
Speaker 3: I would look into other weekends, but really wanted to

1012
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 3: do something on the opposite coast to include Pam and

1013
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:29,839
Speaker 3: asked if she was free the weekend after, even though

1014
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,879
Speaker 3: this isn't the best time for me. But I didn't

1015
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,359
Speaker 3: mention that part, and she said she would ask her work.

1016
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,400
Speaker 3: But honestly, it sounds like you have bigger priorities, so

1017
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:40,279
Speaker 3: do what you want. I can understand her being mad,

1018
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 3: but then she added, and for the record, f Lisa.

1019
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 2: What was the point of that?

1020
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:49,479
Speaker 3: Like, I understand point of that, bride Zilla, sometimes because

1021
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:50,359
Speaker 3: it's your special day.

1022
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 1: But bride'smaid Zella.

1023
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a new one for me, honestly, like like yeah,

1024
00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,239
Speaker 2: like OPI said, like okay, sure, maybe she should be

1025
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 2: checked in with because she really wanted to go, so

1026
00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:03,160
Speaker 2: I would be disappointed. It's like, oh, like at least

1027
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,800
Speaker 2: give me, you know, the chance or heads up or

1028
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,719
Speaker 2: like can we maybe is it too late to change it?

1029
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 3: You know?

1030
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:09,680
Speaker 6: Right right?

1031
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:11,720
Speaker 5: But you don't got to say ev Lisa.

1032
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:15,279
Speaker 3: Lisa's trying her best too, like she's got to make

1033
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:17,760
Speaker 3: the schedules work for everybody exactly.

1034
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:19,880
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, great, well, now that you're throwing that

1035
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:22,680
Speaker 2: in there, I don't want you there anymore, right, I

1036
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 2: would feel I.

1037
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 3: Told her I would give her a call this weekend,

1038
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:29,400
Speaker 3: but she hasn't responded. Nothing is set in stone yet,

1039
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 3: no plane tickets booked or anything for the bachelorette, so

1040
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,359
Speaker 3: I could try to move stuff around. I just sent

1041
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 3: out the email as a feeler kind of thing. I'm

1042
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 3: so upset at myself for hurting her so badly that

1043
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 3: she reacted this way. But at the same time, there's

1044
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 3: a part of me that just wants to move forward.

1045
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,880
Speaker 3: I've learned very early on that wedding planning easily can

1046
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:52,560
Speaker 3: become a logistical nightmare, and it is impossible to please everyone.

1047
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 1: Elpie, why are you mad? Why are you mad? This

1048
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:55,640
Speaker 1: is your day?

1049
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:58,279
Speaker 3: And now I know that she has all the hostility

1050
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:02,279
Speaker 3: towards Lisa, which is totally undeserved in my opinion. I

1051
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 3: even feel uncomfortable having them all hang out together, and

1052
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,480
Speaker 3: I'm worried about her holding a grudge. What should I

1053
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 3: do or say to her to make this right? I

1054
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 3: feel sick at the idea of having a friendship and

1055
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 3: over something so stupid. I'd rather just cancel everything and

1056
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,759
Speaker 3: not even have a bachelor party at this point. And

1057
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 3: we have some comments, so.

1058
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 1: Comments from the peanut.

1059
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:26,840
Speaker 2: Galp Yeah right, I just I've heard so many stories

1060
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 2: of like bachelorette parties or like bridal parties just causing

1061
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,240
Speaker 2: so much drama. And it's like, guys, it's just because

1062
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 2: we're just getting married. We're just in love over here.

1063
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 2: Can we just party it up and like be chill

1064
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 2: about it, Like we don't need to. We don't need

1065
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 2: to make it a giant thing. Like Okay, if you're

1066
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,800
Speaker 2: really said you can't make it bachelreat maybe rent a

1067
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 2: car you know, maybe figure out some little thing that

1068
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,399
Speaker 2: you can do, or if you really can't go, then

1069
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 2: hang out with Opiate another time or something like, or

1070
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 2: try to find solutions yourself rather than just saying if

1071
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 2: everyone else and like just being mad all of a sudden,

1072
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 2: Like no one's doing this maliciously.

1073
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 3: There has to be some underlying and like unspoken hostility here,

1074
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:12,320
Speaker 3: especially if it's specifically directed at Lisa in the scenario.

1075
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, because this is a this is a big blow up.

1076
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:17,919
Speaker 3: Over missing one day.

1077
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is one.

1078
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:24,160
Speaker 3: You're making this about yourself, like this is totally yeah,

1079
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:27,560
Speaker 3: main character syndrome that is absolutely undeserved. This is not

1080
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 3: your wedding. Like I would understand if this was your

1081
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:34,439
Speaker 3: wedding and you wanted it to be perfect and people

1082
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 3: were actively like sabotaging your plans. But no, Opie is

1083
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:43,439
Speaker 3: trying to include everybody. She's trying to include the most

1084
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 3: people possible and even going out of her way to

1085
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:49,359
Speaker 3: make these plans happen. And you're just making this all

1086
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 3: about yourself.

1087
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:53,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, it's not okay, not what you should be doing, girl.

1088
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:55,359
Speaker 3: There's there's a lot of entitlement there and a lot

1089
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 3: of delusion. Yeah, So moving to the comments, comment one,

1090
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 3: I mean I see her point. Reading the story, it's

1091
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:06,160
Speaker 3: pretty clear that your priority was including Pam and making

1092
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 3: it easier for Pam. You chose her city and even

1093
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 3: waited until she would be done with the bar. It's

1094
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,920
Speaker 3: understandable that Ali did not want to somehow fit a

1095
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 3: bachelorette into her schedule when she was already at a

1096
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 3: wedding in another town. It's a bad weekend for her,

1097
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 3: so from her perspective, her efforts to get something organized

1098
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:27,319
Speaker 3: earlier were rebuffed, and then you and Lisa went out

1099
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:30,120
Speaker 3: of your way to accommodate Pam without really caring if

1100
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:32,480
Speaker 3: it was good for her. She feels like you value

1101
00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:36,240
Speaker 3: Pam more than her. Obviously it's inappropriate to say f Lisa.

1102
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 3: The mature response is to say I'm disappointed, but I

1103
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 3: understand and then pulled back from the friendship. If she

1104
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:45,320
Speaker 3: feels like it's uneven, the reply was I have no

1105
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 3: idea why this comment isn't higher. Ali seemed excited in

1106
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:52,480
Speaker 3: taking a role in helping plan the bachelorette part. Then

1107
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 3: she finds out not only is she not helping plan

1108
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:58,040
Speaker 3: the bachelorette party, but the OPI has been trying to

1109
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 3: coordinate availability with everyone and butt her first, then asks

1110
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 3: her if she can shoehorn her attendants in between attending

1111
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:08,319
Speaker 3: another wedding an hour away. That being said, I think

1112
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 3: it's pretty easy for Ope to fix. Just acknowledge that

1113
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 3: you realize she feels pretty crappy about things and it's

1114
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 3: fair for her to feel that way. Emphasize that she

1115
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 3: just wants to have a bachelorette party with all her

1116
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 3: friends and she'd much rather do it another weekend if

1117
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:26,680
Speaker 3: it means Ali can attend to maybe even throw in.

1118
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:29,600
Speaker 3: We both know any bachelor att party wouldn't be the

1119
00:50:29,680 --> 00:50:32,440
Speaker 3: same without you. If Ali's truly a good friend, she

1120
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:35,719
Speaker 3: should apologize for her own comments and OPI and her

1121
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:38,879
Speaker 3: and they can both get back to focusing on making

1122
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 3: this work logistically. If she doesn't apologize and continues to

1123
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,359
Speaker 3: be butt heard about this and guilt trip the op,

1124
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 3: then maybe she is the witch that everyone else is

1125
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,919
Speaker 3: commenting that she is. But I don't get the sense

1126
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 3: that she is.

1127
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:54,799
Speaker 2: That was full of grace, and I appreciate that they're,

1128
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 2: you know, looking out for.

1129
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:57,839
Speaker 1: That girl comment too.

1130
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 3: Has something happened between Lisa and Ali that you maybe

1131
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:04,359
Speaker 3: don't know about. Was Ali upset that Lisa was your

1132
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 3: maid of honor instead of her? Has Lisa been rude

1133
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 3: to or ignored Ali when it comes to the wedding,

1134
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:12,080
Speaker 3: or really anything. It just sounds like from her reactions,

1135
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:15,200
Speaker 3: something has happened between her and Lisa that's left a

1136
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,839
Speaker 3: sour taste in her mouth. She's just not handling it maturely. Oh,

1137
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:21,520
Speaker 3: he says, not that I know of. The only time

1138
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:24,600
Speaker 3: Lisa and Ali have interacted in person was when we

1139
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:28,799
Speaker 3: all went bridesmaid's dress shopping. They have very different personalities.

1140
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,960
Speaker 3: Lisa is very open and not shy, whereas Ali is

1141
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 3: much more prim and proper and generally pretty quiet. Lisa

1142
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:37,239
Speaker 3: and Ali live in the same city, and I know

1143
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,600
Speaker 3: Lisa told her they should hang out some time, but

1144
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:42,919
Speaker 3: said Ali didn't really respond. I could see Ali thinking

1145
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:45,560
Speaker 3: that Lisa was vulgar and rude or something, but no

1146
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:47,400
Speaker 3: one has said anything to me about that.

1147
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, interesting. Interesting.

1148
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:53,640
Speaker 3: It could just be clashing personalities, Yeah, definitely could.

1149
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 2: Mean but you gotta put up with that when you're

1150
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:58,479
Speaker 2: going to be on the same bridal party.

1151
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:02,359
Speaker 3: Still, it's a nice It's still not warranted and effort yeah,

1152
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 3: especially if exactly going by this they haven't interacted. They're

1153
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 3: just different people. It seems just like a too much

1154
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 3: of a blow up to be warranted. Maybe it's just

1155
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:15,960
Speaker 3: that OP doesn't know it. Yeah, yeah, I feel like

1156
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 3: there's God it still feeling.

1157
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:21,359
Speaker 2: The right right, But I don't know. Maybe we'll find out.

1158
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:24,239
Speaker 3: We have an update. I didn't really want to make

1159
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 3: an update because I was totally embarrassed at how stupid

1160
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:29,719
Speaker 3: I was in the original. But I do feel like

1161
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:32,360
Speaker 3: this sub needs more happy updates. So here we are.

1162
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:35,879
Speaker 1: Okay, happy update. Hey, we don't get enough of those.

1163
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 2: We didn't.

1164
00:52:37,520 --> 00:52:39,440
Speaker 3: I told Ali that I was going to call her

1165
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 3: the next morning to talk. I did, she didn't pick up.

1166
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 3: I spent most of Saturday worrying myself, actually sick and

1167
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 3: basically crying on and off all day because my mind

1168
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 3: immediately went to worst case scenario and I was just

1169
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 3: so sure she never wanted to speak to me again

1170
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:56,759
Speaker 3: and it was all my fault. I called her again

1171
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:59,719
Speaker 3: yesterday night. She didn't pick up, but she called me

1172
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:03,359
Speaker 3: back pretty quickly. I immediately opened with my apology, which

1173
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 3: she accepted. She also said she was sorry for overreacting

1174
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:09,120
Speaker 3: and saying some of these things, just that she was

1175
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 3: really hurt and lashing out. I told her that her

1176
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 3: feelings were justified. What I'm doing now is wrapping the

1177
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:17,240
Speaker 3: Bachelor Atte weekend into the bridal shower weekend so people

1178
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 3: only have to travel once. Ali made it clear that

1179
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:21,840
Speaker 3: I didn't have to do this for her, but I

1180
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:24,799
Speaker 3: told her I wanted to because I really do. There's

1181
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 3: stuff to do near where the bridal shower is, so

1182
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 3: we should be able to find plenty of stuff to

1183
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,400
Speaker 3: do once we get a headcount of who can make it.

1184
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 3: I am totally backing out and letting the bridesmaids plan

1185
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:37,440
Speaker 3: amongst themselves together. I'm also going to visit Pam separately

1186
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,160
Speaker 3: after she finishes the bar, so I will still get

1187
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:44,720
Speaker 3: a chance to visit that city, which should be fun. Okay, hey, okay,

1188
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:48,600
Speaker 3: I feel like that is probably the best case scenario

1189
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:52,960
Speaker 3: for everyone involved. Like traveling for a destination wedding, I

1190
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 3: see the appeal, but also it's hard for the people

1191
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:56,760
Speaker 3: who are attending.

1192
00:53:56,840 --> 00:54:00,920
Speaker 2: It's very very hard for sure, anyone what the like

1193
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 2: destination is like If some people are going to be

1194
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:06,080
Speaker 2: traveling anyway, like you know, if they're if it's like

1195
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,160
Speaker 2: in America or something like that, and they're like gonna

1196
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:09,920
Speaker 2: have to go to a different state anyway, so might

1197
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:11,360
Speaker 2: as well, like, I don't know, do it in a

1198
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 2: prettier state than your own something like that. I could,

1199
00:54:14,320 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 2: you know, that's like okay, whatever, But like if you're

1200
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 2: going to like another country or something like that, that

1201
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:19,680
Speaker 2: makes it difficult.

1202
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 3: But like an island resort getaway for thecation.

1203
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, right, but yeah, people are doing a lot

1204
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:27,200
Speaker 2: lot when they're attending weddings like that.

1205
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 1: Hey y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get

1206
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's a quick three minute

1207
00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:32,280
Speaker 1: break from as for more sponsors.

1208
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 2: My friend made me plan her bachelorette party without the

1209
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:41,360
Speaker 2: maid of honor, knowing more bridal trauma. I twenty seven female,

1210
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:45,120
Speaker 2: officially hate weddings, so I'm in my friend's twenty eight

1211
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 2: female wedding party. This friend and I used to be close,

1212
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:50,359
Speaker 2: but our friendship recently isn't as close as it used

1213
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:53,800
Speaker 2: to be due to my friend being a crazy, dramatic, selfish,

1214
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:59,080
Speaker 2: borderline histrionic woman. We took a long break from our friendship,

1215
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:01,759
Speaker 2: but it seems like her crazy had evened out. When

1216
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 2: she got engaged, she asked me to be in her

1217
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:06,840
Speaker 2: wedding party and asked her oldest friend to be her

1218
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 2: maid of honor, though she repeatedly told me that she

1219
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:12,040
Speaker 2: wanted me to plan her bachelorette party. By the way,

1220
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 2: this comes from wedding drama Lama, and if you want

1221
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:15,919
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

1222
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:19,960
Speaker 2: Okay story time separate it. So now I accepted because

1223
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,239
Speaker 2: her crazy has mostly gone down, but we don't see

1224
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:25,520
Speaker 2: each other as often as we used to. I didn't

1225
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:28,360
Speaker 2: mind planning her bachelorette party because I like planning parties,

1226
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:30,759
Speaker 2: and I assumed the maid of honor was on board

1227
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:31,760
Speaker 2: with me planning everything.

1228
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 5: I talked to the bride and she tells me all

1229
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:34,839
Speaker 5: the details.

1230
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 2: Of what she'd like at the party. We plan the menu,

1231
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:39,360
Speaker 2: the costs, and she provides me with a list of

1232
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:42,360
Speaker 2: things that she'd like, as well as the email addresses

1233
00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:45,440
Speaker 2: of the bridesmaids that'll be assisting us with the party.

1234
00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:47,239
Speaker 2: A couple of days ago, at work, she sends me

1235
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:49,839
Speaker 2: a link message telling me that I think it's time

1236
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 2: for us to email the other girls about the party.

1237
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:53,239
Speaker 5: I'm too busy at the time.

1238
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:57,359
Speaker 2: So today I linked her back and we chat about

1239
00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:59,160
Speaker 2: the party, and I tell her that I'll send the

1240
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 2: email with details about the party to the other girls

1241
00:56:01,680 --> 00:56:03,759
Speaker 2: so we can start divving up the costs and plan

1242
00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 2: who brings what. The bride immediately tells me to hold

1243
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:08,759
Speaker 2: off because she needs to tell the maid of honor,

1244
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:12,279
Speaker 2: who will call her Ellen that she gave her a

1245
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:15,239
Speaker 2: number or email to me, or she'll pop.

1246
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:20,120
Speaker 5: Off at being randomly hit with these plans. That's suspicious.

1247
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:24,360
Speaker 1: Why is that we knew why we saw the title?

1248
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:28,399
Speaker 2: But but so what the f I asked the bride

1249
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 2: if Ellen knew that the bride will call her? Carrie

1250
00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:34,719
Speaker 2: asked me to plan the party. Carrie immediately jumps.

1251
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:35,880
Speaker 1: In with I never asked you.

1252
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:41,040
Speaker 5: You volunteered falls I have texts that say otherwise.

1253
00:56:41,360 --> 00:56:42,240
Speaker 2: She's got receipts.

1254
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:43,320
Speaker 5: Dude, you can't deny it.

1255
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:46,800
Speaker 2: I tell Carrie that she knew that's not true, and

1256
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:49,880
Speaker 2: that I wasn't doing a thing until she talked to Ellen.

1257
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 2: If I were Ellen, I'd definitely take that the wrong

1258
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:55,200
Speaker 2: way and think I was wandering into her territory, so

1259
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:58,839
Speaker 2: to speak. Carrie immediately got defensive and complained that Ellen

1260
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,440
Speaker 2: wouldn't pay for anything. She was so stressed out with

1261
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:04,400
Speaker 2: planning everything that she couldn't deal with this, and Ellen

1262
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 2: would throw a solid party, etc. When I questioned Carrie

1263
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:09,919
Speaker 2: on whether or not she had talked to Ellen about

1264
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 2: the party, she refused to answer me directly until she

1265
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:16,680
Speaker 2: finally admitted that Ellen had sounded really excited about planning

1266
00:57:16,720 --> 00:57:18,280
Speaker 2: the party and even had a.

1267
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:22,320
Speaker 5: Few ideas of her own. This poor girl, Ellen, Why

1268
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:23,200
Speaker 5: are they doing this to you?

1269
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:28,760
Speaker 2: No? Which I told her in no uncertain terms that

1270
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 2: she was to work this out with Ellen, and that

1271
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 2: it's the maid of honors job to plan the bachelorette party.

1272
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 2: To take that away from Ellen when she was already

1273
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 2: planning it would be bs unless Carrie talked to her first.

1274
00:57:40,360 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 5: Well, Carrie talked to Ellen, all right.

1275
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:45,720
Speaker 2: I just got a nasty email from Ellen addressed to

1276
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 2: myself and the rest of the bridal party, including the bride,

1277
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:52,560
Speaker 2: complaining about being rushed about the bachelorette party, how someone

1278
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 2: had volunteered to plan it behind her back, and how

1279
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 2: she is thinking about pulling out of the.

1280
00:57:58,040 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 5: Wedding entirely because of this.

1281
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:04,520
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, weren't weddings supposed to be happy.

1282
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 5: Not according to Carrie in this story. My goodness, So.

1283
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:13,080
Speaker 2: I hope you gotta hit her with the receipts and

1284
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:15,520
Speaker 2: be like, hey, I did not plan for I thought

1285
00:58:15,520 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 2: it was weird that Carrie told me.

1286
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:20,600
Speaker 5: That I want I needed to do this. Okay, sorry

1287
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:21,440
Speaker 5: that you feel rushed.

1288
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:24,640
Speaker 2: I would love to make changes, like I'd love to

1289
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:26,760
Speaker 2: give you the ideas of what I planned out and

1290
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 2: you can handle it from there. That's what I think.

1291
00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 3: There's no consistent communication whatsoever, especially with this many people. Yeah,

1292
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 3: things are getting lost in the convos. Someone's getting confused,

1293
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 3: someone's getting missed up. I don't think it's malicious or

1294
00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:43,600
Speaker 3: like wilful, yeah, but it's causing trouble like.

1295
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:45,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, to say the least.

1296
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 2: For sure. She's mad at Carrie for not having her back,

1297
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:51,360
Speaker 2: but utterly pissed at me because she thinks I plotted

1298
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:54,080
Speaker 2: to steal the party from under her, take credit and

1299
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:57,600
Speaker 2: replace her as maid of honor. Carry in the meantime,

1300
00:58:57,760 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 2: is begging me not to say anything and telling me

1301
00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:02,280
Speaker 2: that Ellen's wrath will blow over and then I should

1302
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:02,920
Speaker 2: just go with it.

1303
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:06,040
Speaker 5: I don't even want to be in this effing wedding anymore.

1304
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 3: Wait, what did you mean, like, don't say anything? So

1305
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:10,800
Speaker 3: does is Karen acknowledging that she did?

1306
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:15,200
Speaker 2: Like ask her, Well, Carrie knows the truth. She's trying

1307
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:18,360
Speaker 2: to deny it. But yeah, she's trying to tell op

1308
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:21,560
Speaker 2: to like, hey, keep our secret and just like let

1309
00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:22,640
Speaker 2: Ellen be mean to you.

1310
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:24,720
Speaker 5: It's gonna blow over eventually.

1311
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:27,560
Speaker 3: It's like, girl, but you gotta be at the same wedding.

1312
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:29,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna face this person.

1313
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 5: Exactly.

1314
00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:32,360
Speaker 1: There's gonna be a clash one way or the other.

1315
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:32,920
Speaker 5: Exactly.

1316
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:35,200
Speaker 1: It's gonna build up, right or too.

1317
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:37,320
Speaker 2: Like from Ope's perspective, she's gonna get some sort of

1318
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:40,800
Speaker 2: wrath from either Ellen or Carry. So either way, I mean,

1319
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:44,840
Speaker 2: just just get out of the wedding. Yeah, So should

1320
00:59:44,840 --> 00:59:47,560
Speaker 2: I roast Carry with the truth and contact Ellen directly

1321
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:49,600
Speaker 2: to tell her the truth, or in the interest of

1322
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:52,440
Speaker 2: having already bought the dress, go with the flow. I'm

1323
00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:54,479
Speaker 2: so pissed right now, I don't think I can even

1324
00:59:54,840 --> 00:59:56,800
Speaker 2: really see straight. And there are some comments.

1325
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 5: Comment number one says, throw the bride under the bus.

1326
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 5: She would do the same for you. Yeah, she did.

1327
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 1: She's been doing that is actively what she's been doing.

1328
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:10,480
Speaker 1: She did throw her like cement roller fat, literally.

1329
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 5: A cartoon on the ground right now. Comment to her.

1330
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:16,680
Speaker 2: Number two says, I would reply all to the email

1331
01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 2: with attached screenshots of the texts where she asked you

1332
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:22,400
Speaker 2: to plan it and say something like, look, everyone, Carrie

1333
01:00:22,440 --> 01:00:24,440
Speaker 2: asked me to plan a party, So I planned a party.

1334
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:26,040
Speaker 5: Here are the texts to prove it.

1335
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:28,280
Speaker 2: I was not trying to move in on anyone's turf,

1336
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:30,760
Speaker 2: stir up drama, et cetera. I simply did a favor

1337
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 2: because I was asked.

1338
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:32,600
Speaker 1: Don't worry.

1339
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:35,280
Speaker 5: I'm canceling all the arrangements I've made and you guys.

1340
01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 2: Can plan your own. And please, no one feel the

1341
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:39,080
Speaker 2: need to invite me to either the party or the

1342
01:00:39,160 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 2: wedding because I am definitely not going to show peace receipts.

1343
01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:44,960
Speaker 2: That's a beautiful way to put it.

1344
01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:46,640
Speaker 5: Beautiful way to put it.

1345
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:50,880
Speaker 2: That really is common. Number three says, first, you can

1346
01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 2: sell the dress I did when I had drama as

1347
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:55,640
Speaker 2: a bridesmaid in a wedding that ended up being canceled

1348
01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:57,680
Speaker 2: due to set drama. So don't let this be the

1349
01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:00,400
Speaker 2: reason you go with the float. As someone who ended

1350
01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 2: a close friendship over words being twisted and tried to

1351
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:06,200
Speaker 2: explain my position. I've found reasoning doesn't work quite well,

1352
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:09,840
Speaker 2: so go on and roast away. You've already tried the

1353
01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:12,040
Speaker 2: calm approach and tried reasoning with her. I like the

1354
01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 2: idea of giving Ellen a separate email, because really both

1355
01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:17,160
Speaker 2: of you are the victim of this bride and her dramatics.

1356
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 2: Good luck. Common Number four says this almost reads like

1357
01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:22,800
Speaker 2: Harry did all of this on purpose, just to cause

1358
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 2: drama centered on uh, but not directly involving herself. Opie

1359
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:30,480
Speaker 2: says she did it because she's selfish. She didn't trust

1360
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:33,160
Speaker 2: Ellen to throw the bachelorrett party she deserves, so she

1361
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:35,040
Speaker 2: tried to get me to do it and look like

1362
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:38,080
Speaker 2: the bad guy by stealing Ellen's project instead of having

1363
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:40,800
Speaker 2: a grown up conversation with Ellen about having me do

1364
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:43,920
Speaker 2: the planning. She looks like a saint. I look like

1365
01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:47,320
Speaker 2: an a hole. This is manipulative and there is an update.

1366
01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:48,840
Speaker 3: It was a two party thing.

1367
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:52,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for sure. I just can you imagine, like

1368
01:01:52,680 --> 01:01:55,920
Speaker 2: if if that one commenter is what Ellen or what

1369
01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:58,400
Speaker 2: Opie actually does and is like reply to all see

1370
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:01,400
Speaker 2: all the text messages and stuff. I imagine being those

1371
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:04,520
Speaker 2: other bridesmaids that are involved and just being like, oh

1372
01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:07,360
Speaker 2: my god, crazy stuff is going down right now.

1373
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:09,360
Speaker 3: How do you go to the wedding knowing that and

1374
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 3: keep a straight face?

1375
01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:13,080
Speaker 2: No, honestly, because then I'm thinking, like, maybe, just to

1376
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:16,560
Speaker 2: avoid more drama, like you should just tell Ellen separately,

1377
01:02:16,680 --> 01:02:17,960
Speaker 2: But they're gonna find out either way.

1378
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:21,360
Speaker 3: Oh absolutely, so talk might as well might There's some

1379
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,160
Speaker 3: side chats going on, def for sure, but we do

1380
01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:25,160
Speaker 3: have an update.

1381
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:27,800
Speaker 2: So first of all, thank you everyone for your advice

1382
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:31,280
Speaker 2: and wedding horror stories. They were all greatly appreciated, and

1383
01:02:31,360 --> 01:02:33,720
Speaker 2: it's refreshing to hear, even though we know what happens

1384
01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:37,000
Speaker 2: wedding horror stories, to know that I'm not the only

1385
01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:39,280
Speaker 2: one to deal with this ratchet. Uh.

1386
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:41,160
Speaker 5: Anyway, as I.

1387
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:44,080
Speaker 2: Stood, my boyfriend convinced me against letting the drama bomb

1388
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:47,240
Speaker 2: explode and roasting anyone AKA be the one that acts

1389
01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:49,600
Speaker 2: like an adult and is the bigger person. So, after

1390
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:51,840
Speaker 2: strong advice from him and my mom, I proceeded to

1391
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:54,560
Speaker 2: email Ellen privately and explain that I think a huge

1392
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:57,360
Speaker 2: miscommunication occurred and that I'm sorry if I stepped on

1393
01:02:57,400 --> 01:02:59,120
Speaker 2: her toes, but I'll be very happy to help her

1394
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:01,400
Speaker 2: with anything she needs to make the event a success.

1395
01:03:01,920 --> 01:03:04,680
Speaker 2: Ellen emails me back to apologize for getting so upset,

1396
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:07,400
Speaker 2: but says that she had really really been looking forward

1397
01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:10,240
Speaker 2: to planning the bachelorette party. She wasn't able to plan

1398
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:13,080
Speaker 2: the wedding shower because Carrie's mom insisted on taking over,

1399
01:03:13,360 --> 01:03:15,600
Speaker 2: so she felt that this could be the thing she

1400
01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:18,680
Speaker 2: does for her oldest friend. I assure Ellen that everything

1401
01:03:18,720 --> 01:03:21,720
Speaker 2: that's planned can be changed, and no deposits have been

1402
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:24,000
Speaker 2: made as of yet, so we can go forward on

1403
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:27,880
Speaker 2: her agenda. Think that was smoothed over? Wrong?

1404
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:34,560
Speaker 1: No, I thought you were so close to another happy ending.

1405
01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:35,320
Speaker 2: Great.

1406
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:36,240
Speaker 5: That looked great.

1407
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:38,440
Speaker 2: It looked like they're figuring things out as adults and

1408
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:40,400
Speaker 2: apologizing and getting to the bottom of this.

1409
01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:42,160
Speaker 5: This is breddit ange.

1410
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:45,800
Speaker 1: Too mature adults, Too mature adults.

1411
01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:46,960
Speaker 5: It can't exist.

1412
01:03:47,680 --> 01:03:50,640
Speaker 2: Oh my two pretty best friends, but too mature adults

1413
01:03:50,640 --> 01:03:51,120
Speaker 2: are Yellen?

1414
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:52,680
Speaker 1: Literally literally.

1415
01:03:53,360 --> 01:03:57,240
Speaker 2: So Ellen contacted Carrie to tell her that she spoke

1416
01:03:57,320 --> 01:03:59,520
Speaker 2: to me and then everything is smoothed over and that

1417
01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:01,520
Speaker 2: she be taking the reins on the party.

1418
01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:05,919
Speaker 5: And that's when I got a nasty link message from

1419
01:04:06,320 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 5: Carrie at work.

1420
01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:11,640
Speaker 2: Carrie calls me an effing witch for contacting Ellen without

1421
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:15,000
Speaker 2: her knowing. I don't have any permission from you ho

1422
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:19,360
Speaker 2: and now and now because of that, Carrie won't get

1423
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:20,840
Speaker 2: the bachelorette party she wants.

1424
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:24,960
Speaker 5: And now I know Ellen is going to throw her.

1425
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:28,400
Speaker 2: A cheap, horrible bachelorette party, or at least that's that's

1426
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:29,600
Speaker 2: what Carrie is accusing her of.

1427
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:32,600
Speaker 5: Carrie further tells me that I should have just gone

1428
01:04:32,600 --> 01:04:33,240
Speaker 5: along with the.

1429
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:36,320
Speaker 2: Plan and that Ellen would have moved over and let

1430
01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:38,600
Speaker 2: me throw at the party Carrie wanted. After a minute,

1431
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:41,680
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, this is Ellen is such a like

1432
01:04:42,400 --> 01:04:44,680
Speaker 2: good friend, wanted to do this to for her oldest friend,

1433
01:04:44,680 --> 01:04:46,360
Speaker 2: and Carrie is just screwing her over.

1434
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:49,840
Speaker 3: Carrie's like a puppet master that doesn't know how to

1435
01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:51,080
Speaker 3: use a puppet.

1436
01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:54,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, she is just so awful to her so called

1437
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 2: oldest friend like that, Carrie. Oh my gosh. I told

1438
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,760
Speaker 2: Harry if an effing party was more important than her

1439
01:05:02,880 --> 01:05:05,920
Speaker 2: best friend's feelings, she needed to get her priorities straight.

1440
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:08,040
Speaker 2: I told her that she's done nothing but treated us

1441
01:05:08,120 --> 01:05:10,240
Speaker 2: like her servants, not just for her wedding, but for

1442
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:12,280
Speaker 2: the duration of her friendships.

1443
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:14,520
Speaker 5: Until she learns how to treat people better. I'm refusing

1444
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:15,520
Speaker 5: to be in her wedding.

1445
01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 2: Her response is to say, who do you think you

1446
01:05:18,440 --> 01:05:22,200
Speaker 2: are with this crap, and followed by you're easily replaced.

1447
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:24,800
Speaker 2: My gosh, man, I think.

1448
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:26,480
Speaker 5: I'm someone that's not going to your wedding.

1449
01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:27,840
Speaker 2: No, my thing I am?

1450
01:05:27,960 --> 01:05:29,680
Speaker 1: After that, No, like a friendship's done?

1451
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:30,600
Speaker 2: Oh yeah?

1452
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 3: Was that even really a friendship? Or was Carrie just

1453
01:05:33,320 --> 01:05:35,480
Speaker 3: using people that she thought she could get stuff out?

1454
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:38,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have I really doubt that it was a

1455
01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:38,760
Speaker 2: real friendship.

1456
01:05:39,080 --> 01:05:40,840
Speaker 5: So that was at eleven am.

1457
01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:43,800
Speaker 2: It is now five forty seven pm, and she's already

1458
01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:46,000
Speaker 2: texting me begging for forgiveness and.

1459
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:47,720
Speaker 5: Saying that we can work things out and that she

1460
01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:49,680
Speaker 5: never wants to not be friends.

1461
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:53,479
Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay, my goodness a day, dude.

1462
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:59,920
Speaker 3: No, just no, no, do you even respond or just

1463
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:01,160
Speaker 3: let that fit at that point?

1464
01:06:01,720 --> 01:06:01,959
Speaker 6: Dude?

1465
01:06:02,080 --> 01:06:04,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you just have to have to let

1466
01:06:04,800 --> 01:06:07,600
Speaker 2: it go, just like, Yeah, I'm not gonna be friends

1467
01:06:07,640 --> 01:06:10,520
Speaker 2: with you anyway. I'm not gonna keep trying to argue

1468
01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:13,640
Speaker 2: with you because it's never going to end. H So

1469
01:06:13,800 --> 01:06:16,439
Speaker 2: there are some comments common Number one says, and I'd

1470
01:06:16,520 --> 01:06:19,440
Speaker 2: let Ellen know about Carrie's craziness and misgivings about her

1471
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:22,560
Speaker 2: maid of honor Ellen and the party. Not for revenge,

1472
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:24,520
Speaker 2: but so Ellen knows what she's dealing with and what

1473
01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:27,040
Speaker 2: is expected for the party. Perhaps it may help to

1474
01:06:27,120 --> 01:06:30,200
Speaker 2: either improve the party or Ellen may realize and she's

1475
01:06:30,240 --> 01:06:33,240
Speaker 2: also better off not hanging around either. Then I'd stay

1476
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:36,240
Speaker 2: away from Carrie and the wedding and watch the fireworks

1477
01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:39,360
Speaker 2: from afar up, He responds, I'm with you on it

1478
01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:42,840
Speaker 2: being too late. It definitely is for me. As for Ellen,

1479
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:44,880
Speaker 2: she's been friends with Carrie much longer than I have.

1480
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:48,200
Speaker 2: I can only assume she knows Carrie is crazy already,

1481
01:06:48,760 --> 01:06:51,440
Speaker 2: but I won't rule it out. Should Ellen contact me

1482
01:06:51,560 --> 01:06:53,959
Speaker 2: to ask why I'm no longer in the wedding party?

1483
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:57,080
Speaker 2: Commentore number two says, I'm thinking the tube of toothpaste

1484
01:06:57,120 --> 01:06:58,160
Speaker 2: isn't empty.

1485
01:06:57,880 --> 01:07:00,120
Speaker 5: Yet and we'll be making a huge mess by the

1486
01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:00,840
Speaker 5: day of the wedding.

1487
01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:03,560
Speaker 2: If you decide to nope on out of this wedding,

1488
01:07:04,200 --> 01:07:07,240
Speaker 2: of this circus, and you're friends with the bridesmaids, you

1489
01:07:07,320 --> 01:07:09,840
Speaker 2: can invite them for an after wedding cocktails a week

1490
01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:13,120
Speaker 2: or so after so you can all decompress. Hope he says,

1491
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:15,840
Speaker 2: I have a feeling you're right. I woke up this

1492
01:07:15,960 --> 01:07:17,960
Speaker 2: morning with fifteen unread texts from her.

1493
01:07:18,320 --> 01:07:19,880
Speaker 5: The Lord better give me string.

1494
01:07:20,800 --> 01:07:22,080
Speaker 2: That is the end of that story.

1495
01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:26,400
Speaker 1: Good loves, I.

1496
01:07:26,480 --> 01:07:30,400
Speaker 2: Want to know we Oh my gosh, good grief.

1497
01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:31,040
Speaker 6: Dude.

1498
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:35,640
Speaker 2: That is just so exhausting. They're old enough to get married,

1499
01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:41,200
Speaker 2: yet they're dealing with high school crap. Man, high school crap. Yeah,