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Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren Zema with you on what has

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Speaker 1: been a very busy weekend and a busy week for

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Speaker 1: both of us. We've been at it.

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Speaker 2: We've been wedding planning. That's what at it means.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I took and I think this is

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Speaker 3: the case for a lot of people. We sort of

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Speaker 3: planned a few big things months ago and then took

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Speaker 3: a big pause, and then the other day I was thinking,

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Speaker 3: oh God, it's happening, and we need to get some

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Speaker 3: stuff done, and now I'm kind of rushing into it.

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Speaker 2: Although maybe that's maybe everybody.

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Speaker 3: Maybe other people are more scheduled with they're planning. I'm

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Speaker 3: a bit of a procrastinator, Like I think, I marinate

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Speaker 3: and then I just go for it.

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Speaker 2: A friend of mine helped me the other day.

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Speaker 3: She said, no, no, no, you can just reframe the branding

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Speaker 3: on that You're not a procrastinator, you're a manifestor.

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Speaker 2: I'm like what she said.

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Speaker 3: It's it's just that you're marinating on these ideas, you're

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Speaker 3: figuring out what you want to do, and you're waiting

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Speaker 3: until you really feel good about it. And feel settled,

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Speaker 3: and then you move, and then you make moves and

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Speaker 3: you make things happen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I will say the good news with both of

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Speaker 1: us is we are very decisive people. I make very sharp,

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Speaker 1: gut instinct decisions. I think you're pretty much the same.

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Speaker 1: When we've made our mind up, we don't him in

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Speaker 1: haw about it. We just great moving on.

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Speaker 3: I love you saying that about me. I think you're

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Speaker 3: much better at them.

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely more. But I think we've done very well.

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Speaker 1: But you're right. We made those big decisions and then

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Speaker 1: we're like, oh, hey, this is coming up. We probably

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Speaker 1: need to like invite some people.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we got to send out the invitations right now.

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Speaker 1: It's a wedding of two.

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Speaker 3: Well, we've texted some people, but we haven't done saved

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Speaker 3: the dates. And at this point, I'm just going to

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Speaker 3: go right to the wedding invite.

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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna Can I ask a question, do we

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Speaker 2: need to save the date today? In today's world? Shoot

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Speaker 2: a text? I don't know. I mean maybe if you've

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Speaker 2: got but I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Is it easier to do a mass text or to

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Speaker 3: send three hundred save the dates if you're doing a

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Speaker 3: big wedding.

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Speaker 1: And again, we're not doing a big wedding. I think

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Speaker 1: if you're doing two, three, four, five hundred people whatever,

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Speaker 1: that's that's not what we're going to do. Ours is

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Speaker 1: much smaller. So save the.

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Speaker 2: Date person regardless, I don't care.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's one more thing. The invitation is

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Speaker 1: the save the date. Save the date is is it's

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Speaker 1: if you took the time to do that. Just tell

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Speaker 1: me what I'm going to.

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Speaker 3: I know, And then I feel bad through on the

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Speaker 3: save the date away because it's pretty and they spent

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Speaker 3: money on it.

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Speaker 1: If you don't want to give me all the details

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Speaker 1: because everything is not set yet, you can follow up

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Speaker 1: with more details. But hey, you were invited to our wedding,

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Speaker 1: our bar mitzvah our Kinsanira, whatever it is, details to follow,

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Speaker 1: that's fine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I'm a big text person on this. I once had

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Speaker 3: a friend cancel a wedding via a group text.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 2: Well, it was very close to the date. What could

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Speaker 2: she do? You got to get the message out quickly.

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Speaker 1: You know that thing we were going to do in

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Speaker 1: a couple of weeks, right, don't worry about coming back

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Speaker 1: to Missouri.

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Speaker 2: But it was fine.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you know, it was just, hey, we got

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Speaker 3: it done, and she sent the group text out and

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Speaker 3: what else could she do to communicate it? So don't

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Speaker 3: underestimate the power of a group text. This might be

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Speaker 3: a hot take.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: People might disagree with me and like really get excited

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Speaker 3: about a say of the date, but I just don't

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Speaker 3: know what to do with it. I don't love getting

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Speaker 3: Christmas cards from people either, though I don't know what.

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Speaker 2: To do with them.

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Speaker 3: Look, I think today I'm following you on Instagram. I

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Speaker 3: see if you want to take a beautiful family Christmas photo,

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Speaker 3: put it on your Instagram. I'm going to see it,

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Speaker 3: like it, comment on it. We get to interact if

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Speaker 3: you send me the card.

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Speaker 2: Then I got to text you about the card. And

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Speaker 2: it just seem we're wasting a lot of paper.

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Speaker 1: Now you've got me down a rabbit hole. My pet

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Speaker 1: peeve is picture day. Sports leagues still to this day

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Speaker 1: have picture Day where you show up at eight am

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Speaker 1: on a Saturday or a Sunday where you're not playing

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Speaker 1: and you're fully drafted in their uniforms to line up

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Speaker 1: and have a photographer take a picture.

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Speaker 2: Oh you do that well? On day you're not even playing.

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Speaker 1: This was wonderful in the eighties and nineties when it

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Speaker 1: was difficult to find pictures and you could send it

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Speaker 1: to Grandma and grandpa and Uncle Bob. But guys who

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Speaker 1: doesn't have a camera on them twenty four to seven?

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Speaker 1: How many parents are taking videos, sometimes professional videos, of

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Speaker 1: their kids playing I see everybody's child twenty four to

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Speaker 1: seven playing sports. Do we need Picture Day?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 3: Well, I mean we just sound like angry people who

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Speaker 3: hate memories and joy, and we don't feel that way.

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Speaker 1: But I just rewatched Clint Eastwood in Grand Terno. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm Clint Eastwood. Now get off my lawn.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, you're that But about children?

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Speaker 4: So about Children's Picture Day, I've never seen that movie.

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Speaker 1: Pretty good. God, he still just looked so good in

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Speaker 1: that mind.

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Speaker 3: I read the other day he's going to direct another movie.

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Speaker 3: The man never stops saying in his nineties, well you

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Speaker 3: actually you always say a Clinice would quote that I

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Speaker 3: do like, which is Clinice.

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Speaker 1: Wood always has the quote don't let the old man in.

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Speaker 1: And he never let the old man in. And to

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Speaker 1: this day he still works. He still loves to all

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Speaker 1: his animals around his house, he stays busy.

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Speaker 3: It kind of means you don't let your age define you.

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Speaker 2: You choose your Yeah when.

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Speaker 1: You when you stop living, you let the old man in.

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Speaker 1: When you stop hitting the gym, when you stop your passions,

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Speaker 1: your hobbies or whatever it is, you let the old

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Speaker 1: man in. And he never has. He still works, he

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Speaker 1: still acts directs, as you said, So talk about an

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Speaker 1: American legend just well.

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Speaker 2: Gosh, let's invite him to the wedding. Yes, get the date?

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Speaker 1: One more, get him a save the date? Uh?

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Speaker 2: No? We okay, I am I was thinking.

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Speaker 3: Should we send imitations? Yes, I mean more than a

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Speaker 3: group text?

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Speaker 4: Ok.

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Speaker 1: Yes, let's be decisive about that.

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Speaker 2: We should send imitations.

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Speaker 1: Yes. The other thing we have to be decisive about

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Speaker 1: is what a great show this is today? Because this

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Speaker 1: show is actually all about you guys, something that Lauren

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Speaker 1: and I love and it's the main reason we started

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Speaker 1: this podcast was to talk to you, to hear from you.

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Speaker 1: So number one, if you have questions, comments, always leave them.

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Speaker 1: You can go to our instapage there the most dramatic

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Speaker 1: pod ever, and leave your questions and comments there. But

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Speaker 1: we already gathered some of your questions and comments and

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Speaker 1: today's show is all about taking your questions. So let's

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Speaker 1: get to it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I'm going to start with a fun one here

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Speaker 3: because I just thought about about it. With the invitations,

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Speaker 3: somebody asked, because okay, look here's where my head is.

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Speaker 3: You can get you can just order invitations. You can

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Speaker 3: have them hand drawn and calligrapheed. You know, there's a

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Speaker 3: whole wide spectrum of what you could do. And I

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Speaker 3: don't know what we'll do. I'm probably going to go.

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Speaker 2: For an easy option.

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Speaker 3: But somebody asked, when it came to the Bachelor, all

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Speaker 3: those notes that you used to write, who was this

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Speaker 3: question from Terry From Terry. Terry asked who wrote the notes?

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Speaker 3: Did a calligrapher write the fantasy suite cards and the

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Speaker 3: date cards?

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Speaker 2: Who wrote those?

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Speaker 1: I got those questions a lot. I've like that can't

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Speaker 1: because it always had my name on it and the well, one.

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Speaker 3: Time I kind of called you out because sometimes there'd

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Speaker 3: be bad grammar and I'm like, okay, it needs an apostrophe,

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Speaker 3: s he or sir?

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Speaker 2: Did you really write this? It signed Chris Harrison and.

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Speaker 1: It was very loopy, and you know, there's a heart

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Speaker 1: over the eye and stuff like that, so clearly everyone

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Speaker 1: laughed that this is not your handwriting. And no, by

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Speaker 1: the way, I write like a third grader, and that

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Speaker 1: is offensive to third graders. You cannot read my handwriting.

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Speaker 1: So I never wrote any of those dates, the notes

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Speaker 1: and all that. I was in on some of the puns,

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Speaker 1: because you know how much I love a good dad joke.

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Speaker 1: So several of us would gather and we would try

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Speaker 1: to come up with something kind of punny, as those

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Speaker 1: date cards usually were. But it wasn't anybody in particular.

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Speaker 1: It was a producer, and.

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Speaker 2: It would change every time.

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Speaker 1: Not every time. Usually one person kind of did it

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Speaker 1: for the whole season. They were kind of the date

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Speaker 1: card person, and one person kind of did it for

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Speaker 1: very you know, for years, and then that person moved

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Speaker 1: on and then someone else jumped in. So it's sometimes

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Speaker 1: it's different people, but usually it's a female. Typically they

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Speaker 1: usually have pretty or handwriting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and so handwriting does.

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Speaker 1: No, it'd be ridiculous, it would not be romantic, would

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Speaker 1: not be sexy. So the answer is no. One. We

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Speaker 1: didn't hire anybody just to come in and do some calligraphy.

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Speaker 1: Next question comes from Michelle dating my boss. It's my

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Speaker 1: big secret, and it's been going on for a few years,

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Speaker 1: so this isn't just a tawdry little affair that's happening lately.

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Speaker 1: This has been a few years. Michelle's been dating her.

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Speaker 3: Boss, Michelle dating my boss, and it is a big secret.

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Speaker 3: Is it worth losing a good job?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 3: I do wish I had more information because my first

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Speaker 3: thought on it not being worth losing your good job is, well, Michelle,

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Speaker 3: if this person isn't committing to you, if they're not

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Speaker 3: worth or if they don't see your relationship as worth

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Speaker 3: being public with, then that's a red flag. And I

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Speaker 3: would also ask is it worth it to him to

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Speaker 3: lose his job? Like, have you had these discussions? Is

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Speaker 3: he like, hey, I'd leave this company for you because

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Speaker 3: he's the one in the position here where you know,

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Speaker 3: he's not supposed to be dating someone who's subordinate to him.

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Speaker 2: And I don't mean that as judgment.

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Speaker 3: I mean this might be a really wonderful relationship and

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Speaker 3: maybe now you're both torn on what do we do,

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Speaker 3: we need our jobs and how do we kind of

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Speaker 3: navigate this? But I think you should be on equal

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Speaker 3: grounding and really having clear communicative discussions about Okay, who

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Speaker 3: is giving up their job here? Who's finding another job

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Speaker 3: if it's worth it? And the question of leaving or

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Speaker 3: losing the job is like, are you both willing to

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Speaker 3: take that step?

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Speaker 2: I think? And is the relationship with it? Is he

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Speaker 2: willing to be public with it? Or is everything about

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Speaker 2: this a secret?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? All, look all HR issues aside. We'll leave that

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Speaker 1: there because we don't have the HR department sitting here

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Speaker 1: about you know, a boss dating a subordinate. I would

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Speaker 1: take a little more aggress of lying on this and say,

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Speaker 1: Michelle Buyer, beware if it hits the fan, which means

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Speaker 1: you break up, this thing goes south, someone finds out,

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Speaker 1: you need to understand there is a very real chance

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Speaker 1: that it's you that will lose your job, that it

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Speaker 1: is you that will take the fall. And that's just percentages.

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Speaker 1: That's just the real world that and it's not just

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Speaker 1: this guy, just the boss. This could be either way.

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Speaker 1: If it was a female boss, male boss, doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: But the boss there's a better chance is going to

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Speaker 1: keep their job than the subordinate. That's just history and

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Speaker 1: the way it's going to go. So I would just say, Michelle, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's good to find out how he stands and all that,

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Speaker 1: but you need to make that decision yourself. Is it

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Speaker 1: worth your job? And if it is to you and hey,

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Speaker 1: after a few years you may absolutely be head over

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Speaker 1: heels in love and you don't care, then so be it.

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Speaker 1: But I would you say, buyer beware, and this one

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Speaker 1: is on you to make that decision.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it worries me that she says it's my big

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Speaker 3: secret and it's been going on for years. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I'll take it to you and I we kept our

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Speaker 3: relationship a secret in the beginning. Now, Chris wasn't my boss.

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Speaker 3: We are obviously, I interviewed him and we worked together,

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Speaker 3: but we kept it a secret in the beginning because

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Speaker 3: I was And I told you, I think when we

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Speaker 3: go public with this, I'm the one who potentially looks

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Speaker 3: worse here because it looks like maybe I'm trying to

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Speaker 3: date you to get further in my career or something.

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Speaker 3: And I didn't want to take it public until we

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Speaker 3: knew for sure that it was really serious. Now, you

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Speaker 3: were always I mean, you were all in on the

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Speaker 3: relationship from the beginning. I was never worried as he

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Speaker 3: committed to me or not, but I wanted to know

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Speaker 3: it was a really serious, long term relationship.

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Speaker 1: I understood the dynamic that this was going to affect

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Speaker 1: you more than it was going to affect me. I

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Speaker 1: was very cognizant of that. Nobody was going to get

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Speaker 1: mad at me. It's Hollywood. No one's going to get

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Speaker 1: mad at me for dating a beautiful young woman. But thanks,

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Speaker 1: you were dating a guy that was hosting a show

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Speaker 1: you were covering, So for you, it was I knew

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Speaker 1: it was much more complicated, and that was something I

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Speaker 1: was aware of. Wanted to make you aware that I understood,

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Speaker 1: and we proceeded with caution for quite some time, six months.

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Speaker 1: We kept it under wraps because I knew when this

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Speaker 1: went out it was going to be a thing, and

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Speaker 1: it was. But by then we were so prepared and

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Speaker 1: love that it was okay, and we were ready to

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Speaker 1: go through the battle together and come what may, we

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Speaker 1: knew we had made this choice to be together. And

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Speaker 1: so Michelle, I don't know if you can link that

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Speaker 1: back to you, but those are serious discussions that need

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Speaker 1: to be had because I don't know this guy. He

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Speaker 1: might be the greatest guy in the world, and maybe

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Speaker 1: he is looking out for you, but maybe he's not

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Speaker 1: maybe he's not cognizant of Hey, if this goes south,

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Speaker 1: guess who's not going to get fired. Probably the boss

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Speaker 1: it would be you. Is he okay with that? And

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Speaker 1: that tells you a lot about this guy.

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Speaker 3: One note overall on secret relationships always a big red

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Speaker 3: flag if only one person wants it to be a secret.

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Speaker 1: That's very true, and honestly, you know, it's funny. The

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Speaker 1: reason I went public, or wanted to go public with

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Speaker 1: you is it got to the point where I felt

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Speaker 1: like I was lying to people I love, people that

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Speaker 1: I was very close with and was traveling with on

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Speaker 1: the show for quite some time. Some of my dearest

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Speaker 1: and closest friends, you know, some of them knew clearly

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Speaker 1: we would go out with them, But there were people

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Speaker 1: kind of I guess in that second circle that I

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Speaker 1: hadn't told, and I thought I'm done lying and saying

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Speaker 1: I'm not seeing someone or not. I was so excited

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Speaker 1: about us in our relationship, I wanted to start screaming

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Speaker 1: it from the rooftops, and so it felt right for

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Speaker 1: me to come to you and say, hey, I want

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Speaker 1: to go public.

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Speaker 3: And I think for me it was maybe this is

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Speaker 3: a little of what Michelle's talking about I realized I

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Speaker 3: was in love with you and I saw a real

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Speaker 3: future for you. Because when I said I wanted to

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Speaker 3: know how serious the relationship was, I meant for myself.

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Speaker 3: I always felt from you like you were on a

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Speaker 3: serious path. But I was thinking, I want to be

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Speaker 3: really serious about this guy before I would risk.

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Speaker 2: Anything to my career.

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Speaker 3: And I got to that point where I thought, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm I love him and I'm okay with like what happens,

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Speaker 3: what happens, and I want to take that step.

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Speaker 1: So Michelle, hope that helps Michelle.

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Speaker 2: We're a team, Michelle, no matter what in this just

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Speaker 2: so you know very much.

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Speaker 1: So this next one is anonymous, and probably anonymous for

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Speaker 1: a reason because they say, if a guy says he's

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Speaker 1: not ready to date, is it ever okay to circle

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Speaker 1: back later and see if anything has changed.

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Speaker 2: Let's say our one word answer on three one two three.

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Speaker 1: No, absolutely not.

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 1: Here's the thing, and I'm just going to be blunt

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Speaker 1: and candid with you. You know, I don't have to beat

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Speaker 1: around the bush anymore. I'm not on TV. I don't

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Speaker 1: have to mislead you in these relationship questions and answers.

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Speaker 1: If a guy says he's not ready to date, he's

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Speaker 1: also saying he's not ready to date you, And I

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Speaker 1: know that sucks to hear, and I know that might hurt,

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Speaker 1: But I'm just telling you the truth because he may

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Speaker 1: step to the next relationship and all of a sudden

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Speaker 1: he gets married, and so you never know if it's

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Speaker 1: about you or the relationship. But I can honestly tell

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Speaker 1: you in this situation, he's not ready to date and

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Speaker 1: also not ready to date you, right.

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Speaker 3: And the question is should I circle back and find

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Speaker 3: you know, find out later.

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Speaker 2: No, if he had, if he'd gotten ready, he'd come

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Speaker 2: find you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: If he's not doing a U turn for you, why

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Speaker 4: are you turning the car around? Yes, And that's the thing,

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Speaker 4: he should come to you. It's there's so many phrases

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Speaker 4: that go with this, from the more recent he if

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Speaker 4: he wanted to, he would going back to the years ago,

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Speaker 4: from sex and the City.

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Speaker 2: He's just not that into you.

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Speaker 3: I am the biggest proponent of Like, Look, relationships in

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Speaker 3: life are going to throw a lot of crap at

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Speaker 3: you that you're going to have to figure out with

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Speaker 3: your partners. So it needs to be simple in the beginning.

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Speaker 1: Right, And it may not be that he's not just

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Speaker 1: that into you. It might be he's an f boy,

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Speaker 1: it might be he's damaged and relationship. There's a lot

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Speaker 1: of things.

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Speaker 3: It is he's just not that into you, because if

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Speaker 3: he was into you, he'd want to be dating you

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Speaker 3: right now. And you know, honestly, Oh, I see what

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Speaker 3: you're saying.

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Speaker 1: Like some might like some guys are really dumb animals

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Speaker 1: and they just don't figure it out, and they will

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Speaker 1: plow through one amazing woman after the other, ruining great

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Speaker 1: relationship out. We know people like this.

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Speaker 2: Let me just he's just not that into a relationship

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Speaker 2: with you.

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Speaker 1: Right, because he's not he's not aware enough of himself.

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Speaker 1: And that this goes both ways, he or herb But

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Speaker 1: in this case, clearly we're talking about a guy he

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Speaker 1: just isn't that aware of what he wants in life

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Speaker 1: yet either. And so take that is a beautiful red flag.

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Speaker 1: Red flags are a good thing sometimes if you pay

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Speaker 1: attention to it and just keep on driving, keep on going.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think in the beginning, it needs to be clear,

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Speaker 3: it needs to be you're being pursued, you're both pursuing

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Speaker 3: each other. You're both into each other because a lot

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Speaker 3: of other hard stuff's going to come later. And yeah,

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Speaker 3: don't circle back on him. If he's not calling you,

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00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:15,399
Speaker 3: do not call him. Next question from new Beginnings to

383
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Speaker 3: old standards, this question is how do you get out

384
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Speaker 3: of a relationship rut?

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Speaker 2: What do you think?

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Speaker 3: Bam?

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Speaker 1: It takes work And I know that's an old cliche,

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Speaker 1: but relationships, love, dating, marriage, especially when kids are involved,

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Speaker 1: it takes work. And if you're in a relationship rut,

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Speaker 1: and I'm going to assume your years into this, because

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Speaker 1: usually if you're already in a rut in the honeymoon phase.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a red flag.

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Speaker 1: That's a red flag. That's another issue we'll have to

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Speaker 1: deal with. I'm going to assume this is a established relationship,

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Speaker 1: even a marriage, and that is just you gotta work

396
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Speaker 1: out it. You got to form a date night. You

397
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Speaker 1: have to push each other to be aggressive about this.

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Speaker 1: It's a job to take care of each other. And look,

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Speaker 1: we all don't have money to go travel to go

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Speaker 1: to great dinners or whatever. So honestly, if you have

401
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Speaker 1: nothing else, go set up a picnic in the backyard,

402
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,439
Speaker 1: Go set up some sort of special candlelight dinner, a

403
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Speaker 1: bubble bath, whatever, you get the picture, but work at

404
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 1: it and make it something different than what you do

405
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Speaker 1: every day. It's not let's pick another show on Netflix

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Speaker 1: and watch it together.

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Speaker 2: Oh it's so easy to get into those ruts. That's

408
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Speaker 2: the thing.

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Speaker 3: We all feel that it's so easy to get in

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Speaker 3: our bubble of going to the same restaurants or our

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Speaker 3: nightly routines of doing the same thing. So I think

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Speaker 3: what's important to note is it doesn't mean there's something

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Speaker 3: wrong in your relationship. A rut doesn't mean something bad.

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Speaker 3: In fact, it means you're comfortable and you love each

415
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Speaker 3: other and you rely on each other. But you let

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Speaker 3: that rut go too long and it keeps getting deeper

417
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Speaker 3: and it becomes a problem. So I do think you

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Speaker 3: have to constantly be checking in on it, aware of it.

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Speaker 3: I'll often say to you, hey, I feel like we

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Speaker 3: need a date night, Like if I don't feel connected,

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Speaker 3: or I feel like maybe we've both been traveling too much,

422
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,680
Speaker 3: or we're in it's like, let's go out. Let's go

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Speaker 3: out and go to a restaurant we've never been before,

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Speaker 3: just to switch it up a little bit. Instead of

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Speaker 3: our neighborhood haunts. And I love what you just said

426
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Speaker 3: about relationships take work, But an important distinction to me

427
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,719
Speaker 3: is always relationships take work, but they shouldn't be work like.

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Speaker 3: You shouldn't feel you should be putting an effort for

429
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Speaker 3: each other. You shouldn't feel like you're working at it

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Speaker 3: more than the other person is. And you shouldn't feel like, God,

431
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Speaker 3: this feels like work. But keep dating each other. Always

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Speaker 3: put that effort in.

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Speaker 1: Always and sometimes though, and this is going to move

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Speaker 1: me to another quoest. I'm going to piggyback a question

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Speaker 1: on here from Hannah who asked, how do I connect

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Speaker 1: with my husband after having our first baby? I feel

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Speaker 1: that I have only had time for my son. So again,

438
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,080
Speaker 1: this just piggybacks on that because sometimes one person will

439
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,040
Speaker 1: be pulling harder on that rope, and true, that's a

440
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Speaker 1: good relationship. Someone has anxiety, someone's going through something, whatever

441
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:04,719
Speaker 1: suffered a loss. You may have to step up and

442
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 1: just pull the rope a little bit more than the

443
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,480
Speaker 1: other person in your relationship. And you know, a while back,

444
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 1: I talked to Ari and Lauren and they talked about

445
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 1: this when they had the twins. Arian Lauren Leindyke from

446
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 1: the show that Lauren said, Ari had to really push

447
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:21,199
Speaker 1: me out of my comfort zone and get us on

448
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:24,159
Speaker 1: date nights. I just wanted to be home. I just

449
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,280
Speaker 1: wanted to be with the kids. And I get that

450
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 1: having had kids, I get that poll of you don't

451
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,679
Speaker 1: want to miss a night. These are special times, and

452
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 1: you get that attachment. But remember that your kids are

453
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 1: losing if you are not happy as well. If you're

454
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 1: not taking care of yourself as far as your mental

455
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 1: strength and stability and your love life, then your kids

456
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 1: aren't gaining everything from you. They're not getting one hundred

457
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 1: percent anyway. So take a little time out for yourself

458
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 1: and for your relationship. I think the hardest job in

459
00:20:57,359 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 1: the world is raising kids. I think it's harder than anything.

460
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 1: I have the most respect for it.

461
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,160
Speaker 3: And you once said to me, which really helps put

462
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 3: parenting in perspective for me, since I've never raised young

463
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 3: kids that you said, well, having kids has never made

464
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:10,720
Speaker 3: a relationship easier.

465
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 1: No, And I've never understood the hey we're about to

466
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,919
Speaker 1: break up, let's have a kid. This may save us.

467
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,120
Speaker 2: Baby is not a band abe, A baby is.

468
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,959
Speaker 1: A you know. Well, I won't say, I won't put

469
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 1: in those terms I was going to say something negative.

470
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,879
Speaker 1: It's not a negative. Please don't get me wrong. I

471
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:28,840
Speaker 1: have two beautiful children. I wouldn't change anything. But it

472
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 1: never will ever make your life easier. It is stressful,

473
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,680
Speaker 1: it is difficult. You will be tired, you are sleep deprived,

474
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 1: you are your life is no longer your own, and

475
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,639
Speaker 1: your life with and I mean your relationship is no

476
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:46,440
Speaker 1: longer your own either. You now share everything with these

477
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,639
Speaker 1: one or two or however many kids you have, so

478
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:53,440
Speaker 1: you have to really work at it. Finding that babysitter,

479
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 1: finally the family member that'll come over, and just even

480
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: if it's not a night, an hour, two hours to

481
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 1: just go walk, go to the park, anything, just get

482
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 1: some fresh air so you guys can have adult time.

483
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 1: And here's my other little tidbit for Hannah. Kids, Oh kids.

484
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,359
Speaker 1: You know, when you have kids, when you get that

485
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 1: alone time, don't talk only about the kids. Don't only

486
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,880
Speaker 1: talk about parenting. Don't talk about the PTA meeting tomorrow.

487
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 1: Don't talk about how much we got to drive tomorrow

488
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,919
Speaker 1: for soccer and dancing and all that you got that,

489
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,880
Speaker 1: don't worry about it. Talk about each other. Find out

490
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 1: what's going on, babe. How is your day at work.

491
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 1: What are you into these days? What do you read

492
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,479
Speaker 1: it like? What movies anything? Just bring up a topic

493
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 1: that you guys used to love. Dive into that. Just

494
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 1: make it something other than about your kids when you're

495
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 1: getting that alone time.

496
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, and it's Hannah. It was Hannah's question,

497
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,359
Speaker 3: how do I connect with my husband after having our

498
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 3: first baby? I feel I only have had time for

499
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 3: my son. Going back to something you said, which I

500
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,440
Speaker 3: guess I'll speak to as a as a kid, an adult,

501
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:06,479
Speaker 3: but a kid, I am so glad you said your

502
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 3: kids will you know, aren't your kids are losing if

503
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 3: you're not happy. My parents were always so big on

504
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 3: having date nights with each other, like I'm sure when

505
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:15,160
Speaker 3: we were.

506
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 2: Super little it was harder.

507
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 3: Of course, I was the oldest of three, so I

508
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 3: started babysitting as I got older, and then they really

509
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 3: went out. But I look back on that and I'm

510
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:28,400
Speaker 3: so glad that they had those connections with each other.

511
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,880
Speaker 3: I never felt abandoned. I never felt like, oh, why

512
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 3: are you spending time without me? And it made them

513
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,679
Speaker 3: better and it set a good example for me and

514
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 3: my relationships later. It made me prioritize like, you know,

515
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:45,160
Speaker 3: a healthy romantic partnership instead of seeing parents that were

516
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 3: like frazzled and lost, and so it made me a

517
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 3: better adult that they did that when I was young.

518
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 1: Well, and that leads us to another question that is

519
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 1: anonymous that I find very interesting is how do you

520
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: show love to your partner in front of your kids

521
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 1: that's appropriate?

522
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 3: And well, say that question again, we process that synonymous.

523
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 1: Yes, how do you show love to your partner in

524
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:12,640
Speaker 1: front of your kids that is appropriate? And I what

525
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 1: you just said is so important. I remember my parents

526
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 1: are divorced now, but I do remember growing up and

527
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 1: seeing them date and seeing my grandparents so much in

528
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 1: love and we you know, we had It was kind

529
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,640
Speaker 1: of this little thing on my grandmother's wall that said

530
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 1: love is spoken here. We were very outwardly loving. Not

531
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,720
Speaker 1: every family is like that. We would always say I

532
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 1: love you. We're very touchy feely, we hug, we kiss,

533
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:44,400
Speaker 1: all that stuff. I think it's so vital, so important

534
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 1: for your kids to see love and feel love to

535
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 1: be told. Obviously, but that goes along with date night.

536
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,199
Speaker 1: I love seeing my parents go out. First of all,

537
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 1: I loved having a baby center over at was always

538
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 1: an exciting night you could get away with everything.

539
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 3: I'm sure the kids get like a night of if

540
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:02,959
Speaker 3: you go out, the kids get like, oh, we get

541
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,720
Speaker 3: ice cream tonight and we're having fun and we're like

542
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 3: escaping mom and dad too.

543
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 1: It makes them get to miss you in a very safe,

544
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 1: you know way for just a few hours. Maybe they

545
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 1: appreciate mom and dad more, but they Yeah, but they

546
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: need to see that you're dating. They need to see

547
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 1: why are mom and dad together? These these two bots

548
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 1: that live in the house that aren't real humans and

549
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 1: they just drive us and feed us and take care

550
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 1: of us and yell at us and all that. Like,

551
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,400
Speaker 1: they need to see that humanity in you. The romance

552
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 1: and you know, the kissing and you know the appropriate

553
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 1: part is what questions kind of? I mean, everything's the

554
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 1: reason we're not groping each other or whatever. But even

555
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 1: my kids now, who are older, they're adults, my son's

556
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 1: twenty one, Taylor nineteen, I want them to see me.

557
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 1: I want them to see their mom in happy, functional relationships.

558
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 1: When we're together, I want to see you know, us

559
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,680
Speaker 1: holding hands and us kissing each other or giving each

560
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 1: other a hug. I want them to feel that, hey,

561
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 1: dad's in love and this is what I aspire to.

562
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 3: Yes, I know, I keep going back to it because

563
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 3: what was the question? It was, how do you show love?

564
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:10,119
Speaker 3: That's appropriate?

565
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 2: Right?

566
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,400
Speaker 3: I mean, we don't make out in front of your kids, no,

567
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 3: but we hold hands, we put our arms around each other,

568
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,959
Speaker 3: we put our arms around them. I mean, yeah, So

569
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:23,159
Speaker 3: it's I have to say, the most damaged people that

570
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:27,879
Speaker 3: I know now are people who didn't feel love and

571
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 3: see love from their parents or in their homes. Like

572
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 3: that is what's going to mess a hit up more

573
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 3: than anything, I think is not growing up with love.

574
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:39,480
Speaker 3: So show that love and not everybody's like that. Don't

575
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 3: slip them the tongue exactly.

576
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, within reason, but yeah, not every family is that

577
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 1: open love. And by the way, if you grew up

578
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 1: in that kind of a world, try to change that.

579
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,439
Speaker 1: Try to be the change in your family, Be the

580
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 1: one that's different, be the one that changes.

581
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:56,639
Speaker 2: Break the cycle.

582
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, break that cycle.

583
00:26:58,359 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 2: I should also.

584
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 3: Note, you know, we keep I think we're just we're

585
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 3: talking about ourselves. So we're saying mom and dad, all

586
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 3: the love to the moms and moms out there, to

587
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,360
Speaker 3: the dads and dads, to all parents yes.

588
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 1: It's not easy, and I've been in those trenches with

589
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 1: you and I get it. I mean, there are it

590
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 1: just it pushes you and you know, like again I

591
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,680
Speaker 1: go back to you know, recently Ari and Lauren Lyindyke,

592
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 1: who were like when we had the twins, we're sleeping

593
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 1: in separate rooms. Oftentimes when you have a baby, the

594
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,879
Speaker 1: baby's in the basinet next to the bed. So life

595
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 1: isn't sexy anymore. It's tough, there's it's just not what

596
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 1: it used to be. Your life has changed dramatically on

597
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,959
Speaker 1: so many levels. Again, it's not about you anymore, so

598
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 1: you have to find that time to make it about you.

599
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:56,360
Speaker 2: Well, let's switch it up a little bit.

600
00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 3: Let's go from married and kids to someone who asks

601
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 3: the question, Kylie asks, how do you get over the

602
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 3: fear of going on a first date?

603
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 2: Taking ourselves back.

604
00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 3: To when we're dating and we're going on a first

605
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,200
Speaker 3: date with someone, Kylie, here's my advice on that.

606
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 2: One.

607
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,120
Speaker 3: I think the fear's okay, Like, isn't it exciting when

608
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 3: you think you're going to go on a date with

609
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,159
Speaker 3: somebody and maybe you have a crush on them and

610
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 3: you feel those butterflies so embrace the fear. The nerves

611
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 3: are good, it means you care. And two, if you

612
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 3: need to let go of a certain amount of that fear,

613
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 3: I would say what I used to tell myself, and

614
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 3: what I always think is really in most interactions with people,

615
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 3: is you know, what do you have to lose here?

616
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 3: You might never see this person again. If the date

617
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 3: doesn't go well, you won't have to see them again.

618
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 3: You won't have to worry about it, and you get

619
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 3: a great story out of it.

620
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 2: So the stakes are low.

621
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 3: Don't stress yourself out, and remind yourself as you walk

622
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 3: out the door that this person is lucky to be

623
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 3: going on a date with you, So you're in that

624
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 3: confident power position and they are blessed to be in

625
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 3: your presence.

626
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 1: And just remember it makes for great stories, exactly.

627
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 2: I always say more pages for the memoir.

628
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 1: I when I finally got to being ready to date

629
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 1: again post divorce, and I'm like, okay again. You got

630
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:20,479
Speaker 1: to treat it a little bit like a job, you know,

631
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 1: if you're single and you're out there, it's like you've

632
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 1: got to put yourself out there. I wasn't on the

633
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 1: dating apps, but I was getting set up with people etc.

634
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 1: So I went on a bunch of first dates, and

635
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 1: a lot of them were awkward, a lot of them

636
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 1: did not end well, meaning there was a second date.

637
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 1: Not that they were terrible, but I came away with

638
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: so many great stories, some really funny stories, some horrific moments.

639
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 1: But at the same time, you learn what to do,

640
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: what not to do. You're finding out what you like

641
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: what you dislike. Again, you find out a lot about

642
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,239
Speaker 1: yourself in those moments, and so take it just as

643
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: an experiment. You know, you're just learning.

644
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 3: Totally, research exactly, and you're finding out what you like

645
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 3: and what you don't like.

646
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 2: And that's the thing too.

647
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 3: We tell Taylor this, our daughter, all the time, like

648
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 3: this is all part of the learning process. Just like

649
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 3: you get educated in school, you have to get educated

650
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 3: on relationships, and that means real life research and experimentation.

651
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 3: So you're doing all the practice and rehearsing right now

652
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 3: for when that great relationship comes along. You want to

653
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 3: be ready for that great relationship. You want to have

654
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 3: put in your time and done your laps.

655
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: I was married in my twenties. I wasn't dating. I

656
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 1: didn't have my roaring twenties, so I had to do

657
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 1: that later post divorce, to figure this stuff out, and

658
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 1: so that it takes you know what time you got

659
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: to build up the data bank.

660
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 3: I'm going to add in a question of my own

661
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 3: for you, because I just just when you said, right,

662
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 3: you said that sometimes it didn't go well, there wasn't

663
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 3: even a second date. I am someone who I always

664
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 3: encourage my friends, because I do think a lot of

665
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 3: my friends who've been single for a while, I think

666
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 3: the biggest mistake they're making is they're putting too many

667
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 3: boxes and labels on what they want, and they'll be like, oh,

668
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 3: he's got to be thirty seven to forty two, and

669
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 3: he needs to be a doctor.

670
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 2: I need to have met him at church.

671
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 3: And if I had done all that, I don't think

672
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 3: you and I would be sitting here because I don't

673
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 3: know if i'd pictured the perfect guy.

674
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 2: I don't know if you would have fit in all

675
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 2: those boxes. I love you this Sunday.

676
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 1: No, I agree.

677
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have necessary.

678
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have said, oh, I'm going to date someone

679
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 3: who's fifteen years older than me. That wouldn't have been

680
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 3: my box. And you may might not have said someone

681
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 3: fifteen years younger than you. But so I'm a big

682
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 3: encourager of look, be open, like go on a second date.

683
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 3: People are nervous on the first date. If it went okay,

684
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 3: you know, maybe give him a second one if he's

685
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 3: reaching out or him or her? But what for you

686
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 3: became the biggest My question is the biggest indicator that

687
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 3: a second date was not a good idea?

688
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 2: What made you know?

689
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 3: No, Like, let's not even bother with a second date here,

690
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 3: this was a Now.

691
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 1: So many red flags and there are so many.

692
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 2: I know my number one thing.

693
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 1: I'm a big I mean, there's there's some standout things.

694
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 1: I'm a conversationalist. I love good conversation. But if that

695
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 1: conversation is one sided, if if there's just not that

696
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 1: chemistry and that blend where you feel like you could

697
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 1: just talk for hours, that that's tough for me.

698
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 2: That is exactly.

699
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 1: If I'm sitting at dinner and I this is I

700
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 1: had a date in Brentwood and I sat there the

701
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: entire dinner and this person didn't ask me one question.

702
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 1: They didn't ask me it was really weird. So they

703
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 1: didn't ask me one question about what I do, who

704
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 1: I am anything. So two things either they knew, and

705
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 1: they just didn't want to act like they knew.

706
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 2: Or like it was like she was like, what's your name, Chris? Oh, okay,

707
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 2: by the way.

708
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: Fine, yeah, it's like you would either okay, well, if

709
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 1: if I'm dating you or thinking about dating you, I'd

710
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 1: surely ask at some point, hey, what do you do?

711
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 1: Do you have a job? Do you stay at home? Parents? Job?

712
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:07,959
Speaker 2: Yeah?

713
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 1: Anything? But nothing? Nothing. And this was the best part.

714
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: We got to dessert, and so they took our plates away,

715
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,479
Speaker 1: and there was it was a very tight table, and

716
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 1: so this group, this this date going on next to us,

717
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 1: this other couple they leaned over after they cleared our

718
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 1: plates and said, hey, we didn't want to interrupt in

719
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 1: the middle of dinner, but just want to say we

720
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 1: love the show always, you know, appreciate your hosting whatever

721
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 1: big box or fans. And so I said, hey, thank

722
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 1: you so much for waiting for dinner to be over,

723
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: by the way, you know, thank you so much. So

724
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 1: I get back to my date and I said, I

725
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 1: apologize for the interruption, and she just said oh no

726
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 1: and just kept going. So still never jumped into it's

727
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 1: almost getting weird at the space. It was just weird

728
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 1: and so if no one ever asked about you or

729
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 1: repeats a question to you, it's just.

730
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 3: It's my biggest indicator, not just in dating, but in

731
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 3: front chips, in whether I want to work with somebody.

732
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 3: I think every relationship is two sided if and I'm

733
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 3: not saying look when I'm sometimes I have to watch myself.

734
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 3: I go into interview mode when I first like you

735
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 3: and I are to our first date.

736
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:13,359
Speaker 2: We did have.

737
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:15,919
Speaker 3: We met for drinks, and we did have that first

738
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 3: date where we talked for hours, but afterwards I was

739
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 3: a little bit like, oh, he asked me some questions

740
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 3: about myself, but I it was more me. But then

741
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,360
Speaker 3: it's funny because I said I liked him enough for

742
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 3: that second date, and you told me later, well, I

743
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,319
Speaker 3: felt like you were grueling.

744
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:30,360
Speaker 2: Me the whole night. I felt like you were in

745
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 2: Barbara Walters modes. I was just trying to answer your question.

746
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,399
Speaker 1: When Lauren gets in a new situation and this could

747
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 1: be on a date, this could be just in a group,

748
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 1: she goes into I.

749
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 2: Want to get to know everybody. I want to know

750
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 2: other stories.

751
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 1: You just want to make everybody feel comfortable, and you

752
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 1: want to make everybody feel heard and seen, but it

753
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 1: can often be to the detriment of yourself because you

754
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 1: will keep throwing out questions. Throwing out questions true, and

755
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 1: you don't allow the ball to back bounce.

756
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 2: It's true.

757
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 3: So I have to watch that with myself. So I

758
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 3: don't want to judge somebody on Oh they didn't ask

759
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 3: me enough about myself. But if I don't get one,

760
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:08,279
Speaker 3: how are you? How's your day? What do you do

761
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 3: for a living? If there's not one question back, that's

762
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 3: the indication.

763
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 1: By the way, I will reiterate, you made a very

764
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 1: good point off the top, and it didn't really have

765
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,839
Speaker 1: to do with that specific question, but you were right

766
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 1: putting up hurdles before you ever meet anybody. They have

767
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: to be Catholic, they have to be Jewish, they have

768
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 1: to be six foot four, they have to make this

769
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 1: like you are narrowing the field so much. Push yourself

770
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 1: into trying new things, whether you're at a restaurant, whether

771
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 1: you're dating, you need to try new things and pushing

772
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 1: yourself to date different types of people. I just it's

773
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: hard enough to find love, to find something meaningful with

774
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: somebody on this planet without cutting out half of them.

775
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 3: Well, people talk about deal breakers a lot, and I

776
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 3: think what we have to be careful about is our

777
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 3: dealers should more so be things about someone's character and

778
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 3: about how they want to live their life, not about

779
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 3: who they are on paper, not about their age, or

780
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 3: their job or their you know. I mean, I know

781
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 3: things like religion can be a big thing, but you

782
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 3: don't know if someone's flexible. I know people who've converted

783
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,360
Speaker 3: for other people, and you know, be open to that

784
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,600
Speaker 3: discussion and give it time to see if it is

785
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 3: a too big of it of a hurdle, but don't

786
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 3: set up those hurdles in the beginning.

787
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 1: And who are the people around this person? I you

788
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 1: know that that's pretty that's a pretty early question for me.

789
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:34,880
Speaker 1: Tell me the five most important people in your life?

790
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 1: Is it family? Is it friends? Do they have any friends?

791
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:41,800
Speaker 1: As as a woman, do you have other female friends.

792
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 1: That's a huge one.

793
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 2: Oh for me, for anybody to have friends peria.

794
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,879
Speaker 1: And you know obviously never dated many guys, but I'm

795
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: sure that's the same of like for me, who are

796
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 1: your friends? Where do they come from? How long have

797
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 1: they been in your life? Who are these people that

798
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 1: you know that I just think that the five or

799
00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 1: so people closest to you say a lot of about you.

800
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 1: You were the total that people around you.

801
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 3: I've said so many times, A big part of the

802
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 3: reason I fell more in love with you is because

803
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 3: I loved your friends. Does this person have not just

804
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 3: acquaintances but good friends? And do you like those people?

805
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:13,439
Speaker 2: Are those people who.

806
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 3: Are going to support that person being in a relationship,

807
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 3: Like it's a red flag for me? Or it was

808
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 3: if a guy like didn't have good friends who he

809
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 3: also confided in and who just had like people he

810
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 3: partied with, like right, that that says a lot. So okay,

811
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:31,160
Speaker 3: we've gone off, by the way, one more question. How

812
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 3: many dates do you think you went on post divorce?

813
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 1: Like?

814
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,760
Speaker 2: How many? How many?

815
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,799
Speaker 3: How many years did you? Well, I guess you got

816
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 3: divorced in twenty it.

817
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 1: Was almost eleven years.

818
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 2: Wow, probably a lot there was.

819
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:45,399
Speaker 1: It was a lot.

820
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 2: I was this podcast because I learned even more. Never

821
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 2: asked him then, how many dates did you.

822
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 1: Dozens? And as you know, there were a few relationships

823
00:37:56,480 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 1: in there that took time where I wasn't dating I

824
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:04,840
Speaker 1: was just dating one person. So there were some relationships,

825
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 1: but there were a lot of dates and there were

826
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 1: a lot of those you know, those semi relationships where

827
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 1: you kind of dated a little bit and then it

828
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 1: stopped and you kind of rekindled and it was like, yeah,

829
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:18,359
Speaker 1: we know this isn't right. But so those that kind

830
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,839
Speaker 1: of petered out, but there were I would say dozens.

831
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 3: Well, let's take this to a question from Claire. Claire

832
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 3: says she's in a very similar situation to you. I've

833
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 3: been out of the game for a while, and I

834
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:35,799
Speaker 3: am terrified about getting back into dating. Any advice, any

835
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:37,919
Speaker 3: advice for Claire on jumping back in.

836
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 1: I get the trepidation Claire, and I don't know her situation.

837
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 1: I can relate it to myself where I had been

838
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 1: married for almost twenty years. I didn't, as I said,

839
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 1: have my twenties. So all of a sudden I was

840
00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 1: dating for the first time in a couple decades. Life

841
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:59,320
Speaker 1: had changed, The world had changed dramatically, even just little

842
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 1: stupid thing like people don't call each other anymore. You text,

843
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,400
Speaker 1: People don't pick each other up for dates anymore. First

844
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:09,320
Speaker 1: dates you meet at the restaurant or wherever you're going.

845
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 1: Some people don't even like to have meals as that

846
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 1: first date. There's the code of we just meet for

847
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 1: drinks or coffee, so I can pull the plug if

848
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 1: I don't like you or don't like the way you look.

849
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 1: So there were a lot of different rules I had

850
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 1: to learn from where I came from, and so I

851
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:27,800
Speaker 1: get the trepidation I was. I was out of my game,

852
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 1: I was out of shape. I was out of dating shape,

853
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 1: and so I had to get back into it. But

854
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 1: the only way I could do it was date was

855
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 1: to treat it like a bit of a job, or

856
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 1: treat it like I was actually working out, which was

857
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 1: go on dates, fail, fall down on your face, make

858
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 1: an ass of yourself. So be it, you know, And

859
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 1: I'm sure if you went back and talked to a

860
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 1: lot of the women that I was dating early on,

861
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 1: they would just say, yeah, it was like dating an infant.

862
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 1: He just was not he was crawling and not ready

863
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 1: to walk yet. I'm sure. I'm sure that was the

864
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,280
Speaker 1: perspective because I was so out of my element.

865
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 3: I go back to that same advice on being afraid

866
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,560
Speaker 3: to go on a first date. It's like, this is

867
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 3: so if you really pull yourself back, this is so

868
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:15,359
Speaker 3: low stakes. This person you're going on a date with,

869
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 3: they don't matter in your life, you might never see

870
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 3: them again. These are not the people who who you

871
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 3: feel like define you as a person and where their

872
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 3: judgment and opinion of you matters.

873
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 2: Who cares? Look at it that way, who cares?

874
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 3: And they are lucky to be going on a date

875
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 3: with you at all.

876
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:33,360
Speaker 1: And I don't know if this is Claire's situation, but

877
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 1: people are often afraid of change. And yeah, change can

878
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 1: be bad sometimes, but it can be great, change can

879
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 1: be amazing. People change for the good and for the better.

880
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: Every bit is often, if not more than when things

881
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 1: go bad. And so don't take a bad date. Oh

882
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:56,720
Speaker 1: I've been on so many first dates. I'm so tired

883
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: of and I'm tired of repeating my resume and I'm

884
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 1: tired of this, those first conversations you got to have

885
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 1: over and over. Yes, these are my kids. Yes I

886
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,759
Speaker 1: was married, this is what I do. I know, it

887
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: gets exhausted, that first date talk is exhausting after you've

888
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 1: done it for a while. But man, when you finally

889
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 1: spark a connection with somebody and it works, you forget

890
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,600
Speaker 1: how bad it was and how exhausting it is, and

891
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: then it just feels great. And so Claire, you just

892
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 1: got to jump back in. You got to rip that

893
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 1: band aid off and don't be afraid of change.

894
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 3: That You have a quote on your a quote I

895
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 3: think it's from your grandfather and you have it on

896
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 3: our desk that I always that I think applies to

897
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 3: like work and relationships, which is, what would you dare

898
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 3: to do if you knew you could not fail?

899
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:45,759
Speaker 1: Yeah? What would you attempt to do if you knew

900
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:46,480
Speaker 1: you could not fail?

901
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:47,720
Speaker 2: Yeah? So go into thinking?

902
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 3: You know, gosh, I think I think I got this

903
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 3: quote from Mel Robbins, so I follow on Instagram. I

904
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 3: love her, which is and I don't know if she

905
00:41:56,200 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 3: originated it, but we always think about what if it

906
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 3: goes wrong? We worry what if it goes wrong? We

907
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 3: have to change this in our brain. But what if

908
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 3: it goes right? What if the date's great? So you know,

909
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 3: why are we afraid when it is it's just as

910
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 3: likely to go awesome as it is to be hilarious.

911
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:17,320
Speaker 1: And I get, and I get we all build scar tissue,

912
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 1: And so I understand that you get that. I guess

913
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 1: pessimistic attitude. I'm so annoyingly optimistic that I just don't

914
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 1: have that mindset and I never have whether it's business

915
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:35,120
Speaker 1: relationships of what if on the bad side, because you know,

916
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 1: and I guess if you want to ask that question,

917
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 1: just ask what is the worst thing that can happen? Here?

918
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: What's the worst thing that can happen on a horrible

919
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: first date? And again I'm saying, you know, barring something

920
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:49,360
Speaker 1: really tragic happening, I just mean in the normal realm,

921
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:53,719
Speaker 1: and that is nothing like you wasted a couple of

922
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 1: hours on someone that's a complete tool or he's useless

923
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,480
Speaker 1: and you're never going to talk to me, And that's fine.

924
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 1: So you wasted a Wednesday or Thursday night, You're okay,

925
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 1: try it again. What's the worst thing that could happen?

926
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 3: Bottom line, I always remember that the most important relationship

927
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 3: we have is the one we have with ourselves. It's

928
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 3: my favorite quote from Sex and the City. And I

929
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 3: think for everybody who's dating, who's in a relationship, you

930
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,680
Speaker 3: have to prioritize that relationship with yourself. And that's going

931
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 3: to put you out as a confident, ready to go

932
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:28,440
Speaker 3: person for being in your relationship or getting into one.

933
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 2: And thank you guys for these questions, and just.

934
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 1: Know, at the end of the day, we love you

935
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 1: here and You are all welcome here, and no matter

936
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 1: what happens on that date or in that relationship, you

937
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 1: can always bring it to the Most Dramatic Podcast Ever.

938
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,799
Speaker 1: We'll see you next time because we have a lot

939
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,400
Speaker 1: more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow us on

940
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:53,359
Speaker 1: Instagram at the Most Dramatic Pod Ever, and make sure

941
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 1: to write us a review and leave us five stars.

942
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:57,080
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you next time.