WEBVTT - Turd-Course Meal (with Langston Kerman and David Gborie) RE-RELEASE

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<v Speaker 1>I think if I was in a dress, I think

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<v Speaker 1>it would be a it would be a body positivity past.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I could see that.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure.

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<v Speaker 2>They're like, move over, Lizzo, here's a new star in time.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a man doing it. Now.

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<v Speaker 2>You want to see some butt sheets that need to

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<v Speaker 2>be out?

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<v Speaker 1>Yea a rhythmic clapping?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Jump the kidding.

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<v Speaker 3>Your racists money stuff I can't tell me.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to another brand new episode of My

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<v Speaker 1>Mama Told.

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<v Speaker 2>Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the

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<v Speaker 2>pockets of black conspiracy theories.

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<v Speaker 1>And we were to prove that the k Y and

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<v Speaker 1>k Y jelly does in fact stand for Kentucky and

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<v Speaker 1>it is a proprietary blend invented by slaves. We want

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<v Speaker 1>our money back. Wait.

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<v Speaker 2>So if I'm understanding correctly, because boy, what an exciting

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<v Speaker 2>journey we're on. You're saying that these slaves thought to

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<v Speaker 2>use the chicken grease to fuck each other.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, you said chicken grease.

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<v Speaker 2>Well you said Kentucky. I immediately went to Kentucky Fried Chicken.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought you were making two branches happen at once.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I just meant I guess I meant that there

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<v Speaker 1>were slaves in Kentucky.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't hate, all right, all right, okay, no, but

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<v Speaker 2>let's play. Let's play a game, alright. So in theory,

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<v Speaker 2>there are slaves in Kentucky making sex grease there, I believe,

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<v Speaker 2>is what it's traditionally called. They're making this sex grease.

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<v Speaker 2>And you're saying that a slave owner an evil white,

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<v Speaker 2>not like you good whites who listen to the podcast. Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>you guys are the best whites, fine whites, some of

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<v Speaker 2>my favorite whites. There's just people with with whites for

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<v Speaker 2>Langston who signs behind me? Where are my whites? Where

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<v Speaker 2>are my crackers? But you're saying that these evil whites

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<v Speaker 2>stole that formula, stole that sex grease formula, and then

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<v Speaker 2>and then turned it into their own product.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, hell yeah, Because I mean, what's the one place

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<v Speaker 1>you would want to but chicken grease? Besides your mouth.

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<v Speaker 2>Come on, it's got to taste good down there a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit, you know it's gonna.

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<v Speaker 1>Make it taste worse.

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<v Speaker 2>It's gotta help. Well, I'm Lenggston Cartman, I'm David Bory

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<v Speaker 2>and and you've come, You've come so far, you've come

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<v Speaker 2>to a fantastic new episode and and specifically it is

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<v Speaker 2>an e Lenggston and David episode David and Langston and

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<v Speaker 2>you pick your poison and and just someone where we

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<v Speaker 2>just talk ship and unpack a few emails. Maybe just

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<v Speaker 2>let's figure out where our hearts lie in all of this.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's get to the bottom of it. It's January, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>New Year, New me.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's god damn January.

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<v Speaker 1>What are you are you? Are you like a a

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<v Speaker 1>new year? Are you like a New Year's resolution person?

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<v Speaker 2>Uh? Not in a way that uh would create any

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<v Speaker 2>real accountability, if that makes sense. Yeah, It's like I

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<v Speaker 2>make some resolutions in my head where I'm like, hell, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>come on, dog, you could get in shape this year. Hey,

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<v Speaker 2>big man, let's just let's just in sugar always forever

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<v Speaker 2>in your life what you need to And then sugar.

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<v Speaker 1>Shit is fucking killing me. It's really so bad for you, sugar.

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<v Speaker 1>For me, it's alcohol where I realized I'm like thirty five,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, oh, nothing new is gonna happen if

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<v Speaker 1>I get drunk, so I should probably get it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I think that's why weed started to like become

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<v Speaker 2>a thing in my life. Was like, damn, these drunk

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<v Speaker 2>knights are starting to repeat themselves in a way that

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<v Speaker 2>that it's not even joyful anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>No, there's nothing new and there's nothing new. You're just

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<v Speaker 1>getting door dash.

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<v Speaker 2>Late, like yeah, and then you get married and and

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<v Speaker 2>that becomes so much of like a this is a

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<v Speaker 2>guaranteed ending to your night that it's like.

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<v Speaker 1>You can't even go out and get loose because it's

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<v Speaker 1>like you got to go home right.

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<v Speaker 2>I couldn't even possibly wake up somewhere I didn't expect

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<v Speaker 2>like it. Truly, it is a non factor in my life,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm grateful to have a person that makes that

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<v Speaker 2>a non factor. This is in no way resentful of

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<v Speaker 2>my wife. But that said, fuck am I doing this for?

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<v Speaker 1>You know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 2>Like, you've stolen a joy that I can't get back.

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<v Speaker 1>What's that a joy?

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<v Speaker 3>Did you?

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<v Speaker 1>Like, like waking up scared that you got robbed? Maybe?

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<v Speaker 2>I I think there was a joy in the way

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<v Speaker 2>that it feels like going through a haunted house, you

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<v Speaker 2>know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 1>That's right?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, I think, But then you volunteer for that

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<v Speaker 2>fear and you're like, oh, I signed up for this.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess it's exciting because I'm single as hell. It's

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<v Speaker 1>I guess it's exciting.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you still waking up places you didn't know? Are you?

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<v Speaker 3>Like?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I've been thinking about it because I did

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<v Speaker 1>a drinking contest last night. I did a drinking contest

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<v Speaker 1>live show, and I haven't really been drinking like that

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<v Speaker 1>for a while. And I woke up today with no

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<v Speaker 1>memory of how the night ended. And I woke up

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<v Speaker 1>and I came I came into the kitchen, man, and

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<v Speaker 1>there was I fried up spam. Oh no, And it's like, bro,

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<v Speaker 1>what is this? What is this? Isn't even that couldn't

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<v Speaker 1>have been a good time?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, come on, man, that's not even the best thing

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<v Speaker 2>you could have fried.

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<v Speaker 1>Not even I have a fridge food of food. I

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<v Speaker 1>have leafy greens in that. I don't even know where

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<v Speaker 1>I got the spam.

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<v Speaker 2>That's crazy. So you didn't just have spam on hand?

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<v Speaker 1>I assume I mustard.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh man, that's that's haunting in either direction.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what I'm saying, like, like, this is a.

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<v Speaker 2>New apartment for you, You don't you don't have to have spam. No,

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<v Speaker 2>I know you have a good amount of money. Spam

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<v Speaker 2>is a choice you're making. And then on top of that,

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<v Speaker 2>if it isn't a choice you're making, if you didn't

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<v Speaker 2>already have the spam, you were like, I need fucking

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<v Speaker 2>spam in my blood right now, And then you went

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<v Speaker 2>and got that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah it's I live above a seven to eleven. So

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<v Speaker 1>I think that was the last one because I remember

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<v Speaker 1>coming home. Yeah. Then what I'm saying is you don't

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<v Speaker 1>want these problems spam.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I hear you, and I

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<v Speaker 2>sort of believe you, and uh and I couldn't be

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<v Speaker 2>more grateful for what I have and couldn't be more

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<v Speaker 2>uh mournful for what I've lost, you know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 1>Like, Yeah, I get it. I get because it's always like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, hindsight is twenty twenty, right. It looks beautiful

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<v Speaker 1>in the rear view, these exciting days waking up. Did

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<v Speaker 1>I eat spam? Did I not? Who's this lady?

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<v Speaker 2>Hell?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Come on, man? The best We all love the finale

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<v Speaker 2>episode where they start playing the recap of the stuff

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<v Speaker 2>that happened all throughout the years. You know what I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>When you look up in the sky and you remember

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<v Speaker 2>all the things that happened in Martin's apartment before he

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<v Speaker 2>leaves come on. That's that's the best part of the finale.

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<v Speaker 1>That was the saddest one was that the one where

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<v Speaker 1>he wrote I'll miss you on the wall.

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<v Speaker 2>I think he wrote love or like peace and love.

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<v Speaker 2>It was something like more like uh whatever, but maybe

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<v Speaker 2>it was I'll miss you. But either way, it was

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<v Speaker 2>definitely he wrote on the wall, which I think was improvised.

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<v Speaker 1>I have to assume was more. I don't think Martin

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<v Speaker 1>was heavily scripted. I'm gonna I'm going on record right now.

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<v Speaker 1>I think they had the plot points of every episode

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<v Speaker 1>and then they just kind of like point and shoot.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't I will say I cannot think of a

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<v Speaker 2>sitcom where you can physically visibly see people breaking more

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<v Speaker 2>often than Martin.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, nobody was funnier than Martin in the dress.

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<v Speaker 2>They could not keep it together to save their lives,

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<v Speaker 2>and they were constantly fucking laughing at whatever this motherfucker

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<v Speaker 2>was doing.

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<v Speaker 1>He was so funny. He did everything wid I here's

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<v Speaker 1>what I say. I don't think Dave Chappelle would be

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<v Speaker 1>funny in a dress as funny as Martin. Whoa I

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<v Speaker 1>said it.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think you got whoa. Okay, So you're saying

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<v Speaker 2>that Chappelle denying the dress like being like black men

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<v Speaker 2>in dress. This is the evil that they put on us.

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<v Speaker 2>Was less about him like trying to save black men

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<v Speaker 2>and more about him basically being like, fuck that niggas

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<v Speaker 2>so much funnier than me in a dress. I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 2>sabotage the the bit entirely.

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<v Speaker 1>Have you ever seen nu Professor is the funniest thing

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<v Speaker 1>in the world.

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<v Speaker 2>I truly I I I mean, but that was that Hee,

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<v Speaker 2>That wasn't Martin, you know what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm saying like that there's a long line.

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<v Speaker 2>Of people really that even in the line of succession,

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<v Speaker 2>Martin is ahead of him. But Martin may not even

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<v Speaker 2>be the master of that right that space, whereas stand

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<v Speaker 2>up Chappelle has a real chance of out shining both

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<v Speaker 2>of them, all of them.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was better at writing jokes

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<v Speaker 1>for sure. Wow, we're talking about just like nitty gritty

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<v Speaker 1>getting to a dress and make it happen. Bro. I

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<v Speaker 1>saw I saw the Nutting Professor in a movie theater

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<v Speaker 1>in Atlanta, and it was like, I've never seen anything

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<v Speaker 1>that happened like that in my life. Sure, because you

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<v Speaker 1>you remember the movie, but you don't remember the first

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<v Speaker 1>time at the table with a movie theater full of

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<v Speaker 1>black people. People were throwing like drinks at no. Yeah

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<v Speaker 1>you it was.

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<v Speaker 2>You literally went to Mecca to pray. You know what

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<v Speaker 2>I mean like that is it.

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<v Speaker 1>Was nobody's ever killed his art. I love Dave Chappelle.

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<v Speaker 1>He's never done anything as funny as Eddie Murphy did

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<v Speaker 1>in that movie Theater.

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<v Speaker 2>I listen, I'm not I don't disagree with this premise

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<v Speaker 2>at all. I don't to me. When David was at

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<v Speaker 2>his funniest as certainly as an actor, and we might

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<v Speaker 2>be able to debate even as a stand up, was

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<v Speaker 2>when he was gangly sort of like silly Chappelle in

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<v Speaker 2>his youth as an actor, when he was like more

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<v Speaker 2>of like a you kick me in the dick and

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<v Speaker 2>I fall down Chappelle. And then at some point he

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<v Speaker 2>elevated beyond being just a get kicked in the dick

0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:47.760
<v Speaker 2>guy and more of like a buff dude and then

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<v Speaker 2>a fat dude, and then whatever's in between those two.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he's a DayWalker for sure.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and he wears the long coats to match the aesthetic.

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<v Speaker 1>He wears weird clothes, but there's a stand up thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think I still respect a stand up who's

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<v Speaker 2>a bad dresser, So I'm not Yeah. Yeah, if you're

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<v Speaker 2>a stand up and you're a bad dresser, you work

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<v Speaker 2>hard at the craft and I like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, keep on. I'm not a great dresser. I get it.

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<v Speaker 1>I get it. I'm just saying, yeah, man, it's like

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<v Speaker 1>not a you can't just put a suit. You can

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<v Speaker 1>just put a dress on and be funny. There's like.

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<v Speaker 2>If I put on a dress, I don't think it's

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<v Speaker 2>that funny.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean you'd be for you could be. You know.

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<v Speaker 1>What I would worry about you in a dress is

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<v Speaker 1>that it would be taken too seriously.

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<v Speaker 2>That's and that's what I'm saying. I don't think I

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<v Speaker 2>would end up being as funny as as I would

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<v Speaker 2>want it to be.

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<v Speaker 1>Like you and a sun dress would just be like

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<v Speaker 1>a fashion choice.

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<v Speaker 2>I think somebody would write a think piece. I think

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<v Speaker 2>I would make a whole episode.

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<v Speaker 1>On me wearing a dress or a show.

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<v Speaker 2>And then somebody would write a think piece about how

0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:12.480
<v Speaker 2>important that work and effort was and how it was dress. Yes, like,

0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:16.320
<v Speaker 2>and this is related to the relationship between black and

0:13:16.400 --> 0:13:20.280
<v Speaker 2>Asian people coming together. It's like, bro, I just wanted

0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:22.600
<v Speaker 2>you to see my dick print in a sun dress.

0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:24.000
<v Speaker 2>What are you talking about?

0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:30.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, your body is too serious for dresses. Yeah, and

0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:32.760
<v Speaker 1>that's that's that's you know, across you up to bear.

0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:36.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, No, I think I think it's uh, it's a

0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:39.320
<v Speaker 2>everybody ain't funny in address to your point, And so

0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:43.040
<v Speaker 2>I think Chappelle in a dress, wasn't it? They could

0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:46.240
<v Speaker 2>really do it? And I do think to the grander conspiracy,

0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:49.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't like the way Chappelle tanked that for for

0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:52.440
<v Speaker 2>some motherfuckers that could really shine in dresses.

0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:56.080
<v Speaker 1>Some of the greatest comedy ever been done in dresses.

0:13:56.840 --> 0:13:59.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, man, we we really fell in love with comedy

0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:04.920
<v Speaker 2>because of niggas interresses. And then this old, old, fucking

0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:09.400
<v Speaker 2>why Wise motherfucker was like, I wonder if that is

0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:17.520
<v Speaker 2>because of racism. It's like, of course it is, David, you.

0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:21.920
<v Speaker 1>Should read the things I text my mom.

0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:25.640
<v Speaker 2>All of it's because of racism. But what parts of

0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:28.280
<v Speaker 2>it are funny and not funny? Let's yes, there's a

0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:28.800
<v Speaker 2>core of it.

0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:31.680
<v Speaker 1>That's all I care about. Put that dress on. But

0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:37.360
<v Speaker 1>there's a young Canadian listening to this God, put that dress.

0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:47.200
<v Speaker 2>Slip on that red dress and some high he do it.

0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:51.480
<v Speaker 1>For those of us who can't, come on, man, hashtag,

0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:52.360
<v Speaker 1>put that dress on.

0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:56.640
<v Speaker 2>Put that hashtag. Put that dress on. This will blow up, right,

0:14:56.720 --> 0:14:59.880
<v Speaker 2>this will turn into some sort of challenge. You're getting.

0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:00.960
<v Speaker 1>Put that dress on.

0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:03.680
<v Speaker 2>Put that dress on. Challenge brought to you by Ma.

0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:07.600
<v Speaker 2>Mama told me. We we challenge you to be, to

0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:12.200
<v Speaker 2>be a pioneer and and uh in black retraction and

0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:13.560
<v Speaker 2>put that dress on.

0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:16.480
<v Speaker 1>Put that dress on, you, beautiful man.

0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:20.880
<v Speaker 2>Only if it's funny. Only if it's funny, or if

0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:23.040
<v Speaker 2>that's who you are, It doesn't matter. We're truly not

0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:26.200
<v Speaker 2>gonna decide. But for the funny people, put that dress on.

0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:28.880
<v Speaker 1>No buff, dudes, you gotta be soft buff.

0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:33.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, man, big old muscles pop out the dress.

0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:35.760
<v Speaker 1>That's not anybody's gonna focus on.

0:15:47.360 --> 0:15:48.960
<v Speaker 2>Should we should we do an emails?

0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:50.960
<v Speaker 1>Just oh yeah, let's do an email. I got I

0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:53.320
<v Speaker 1>got I got lost in the dress of it all.

0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:58.800
<v Speaker 2>We we before we started, we were we were debating

0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:01.400
<v Speaker 2>which email to take on. And we have a number.

0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:04.120
<v Speaker 2>We've been getting a fuck ton of emails from you guys,

0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:06.880
<v Speaker 2>and they've been amazing and We're super grateful for him.

0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:09.800
<v Speaker 2>So please continue to send your messages. They are not

0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:12.320
<v Speaker 2>going unnoticed, even if it takes a little while for

0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:14.840
<v Speaker 2>us to get back to you. But we got an

0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:18.880
<v Speaker 2>email from a person named Carly. Carly sent us an

0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:22.920
<v Speaker 2>email that I would argue is bordering on smut. I

0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:29.480
<v Speaker 2>would say that, certainly the subject line of this of

0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:34.240
<v Speaker 2>this conspiracy theory, I think is smut ish. If I'm

0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:39.240
<v Speaker 2>not mistaken, I know you do, and so I didn't.

0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:41.760
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want to say it with any judgment, but

0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:44.280
<v Speaker 2>I did want to point out we're getting smut here.

0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:47.840
<v Speaker 2>But the subject of the line is poop in the

0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:54.320
<v Speaker 2>mouth conspiracy theory. And we all heard that and we

0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:58.920
<v Speaker 2>were like, yeah, we should probably do. Do you have

0:16:58.960 --> 0:17:02.400
<v Speaker 2>any as to what this this relates to?

0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:02.840
<v Speaker 1>Do you?

0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:06.520
<v Speaker 2>Does poop in the mouth conspiracy theory trigger anything for you?

0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:11.280
<v Speaker 1>Not? No, there's no conversations I've had or like, no,

0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:16.120
<v Speaker 1>you're in that corner of the internet.

0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:21.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. The only thing, the only thing that it immediately

0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:24.600
<v Speaker 2>triggered for me was thinking about like two girls, one

0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:29.400
<v Speaker 2>cup and that fake I have no clue, And frankly,

0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.520
<v Speaker 2>I never made it far enough into the video to

0:17:32.600 --> 0:17:36.280
<v Speaker 2>be able to like go like, hey, those those poops

0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:40.480
<v Speaker 2>don't match colors. Something ain't right here. Yeah, it looks

0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:43.439
<v Speaker 2>very real, and I can't I can't go back to

0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:46.600
<v Speaker 2>whatever that was even talking about it now, bad time.

0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:47.520
<v Speaker 2>I want to vomit.

0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:51.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah eight something like that.

0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:52.560
<v Speaker 2>Oh, seven eight something.

0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:55.359
<v Speaker 1>We didn't know what to do with the Internet yet.

0:17:55.600 --> 0:17:59.159
<v Speaker 2>No, And and frankly, if the fact that people didn't

0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:02.640
<v Speaker 2>shut it down right then tells you that they did

0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:04.120
<v Speaker 2>not have good plans for us.

0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:08.160
<v Speaker 1>No, No, it was unregular. It was the wild wild

0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:09.040
<v Speaker 1>West back then.

0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:12.280
<v Speaker 2>Cause like, all right, not for nothing that that's some

0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:16.400
<v Speaker 2>black market shit, right, Like I don't even know who

0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:19.280
<v Speaker 2>made it, but that's what I'm saying. I think, like,

0:18:19.800 --> 0:18:22.399
<v Speaker 2>for a while in the world that we understood, in

0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:25.800
<v Speaker 2>the Windows ninety five world that we lived in, the

0:18:25.840 --> 0:18:29.359
<v Speaker 2>presumption was that if you wanted to see two girls

0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:32.719
<v Speaker 2>each shit out of a cuff you paid you, you

0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:36.720
<v Speaker 2>had to go to like a black market dark web space.

0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:43.240
<v Speaker 2>And then at some point around two thousand and seven,

0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:48.760
<v Speaker 2>the black market became the regular ass Internet where they

0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:51.760
<v Speaker 2>were just like fuck it, release the you know what

0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:55.560
<v Speaker 2>I mean, the archives, and then we just started going

0:18:55.640 --> 0:18:58.879
<v Speaker 2>on YouTube seeing black market shit, you know what I mean.

0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:03.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Yeah, that was like because it was like I've

0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:06.560
<v Speaker 1>seen gross stuff since, but I had not seen anything

0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:08.119
<v Speaker 1>grosser at the time.

0:19:08.680 --> 0:19:13.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that it was that broke a seal for like,

0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:15.600
<v Speaker 2>I would say eighty percent of us.

0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:18.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because once now that you know that that's out there,

0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:21.320
<v Speaker 1>you're like there.

0:19:21.359 --> 0:19:23.399
<v Speaker 2>I got and some of us had to know, and

0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:26.280
<v Speaker 2>some of us were like, I'm good, I'm going to

0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:30.520
<v Speaker 2>like join a church and turn in the opposite direction.

0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:34.800
<v Speaker 2>And that fucking video, I would say holds holds a

0:19:34.840 --> 0:19:36.840
<v Speaker 2>lot of weight in that responsibility.

0:19:37.720 --> 0:19:40.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I would like to find them. I wonder if

0:19:40.560 --> 0:19:43.040
<v Speaker 1>they know what they do. They had two girls, they

0:19:43.080 --> 0:19:43.680
<v Speaker 1>know they know.

0:19:44.240 --> 0:19:46.280
<v Speaker 2>I guess that's weird for me to ask, as if

0:19:46.320 --> 0:19:54.359
<v Speaker 2>you were I gotta find that cup? What you did?

0:19:57.880 --> 0:19:58.760
<v Speaker 1>They burned the cup.

0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:06.399
<v Speaker 2>Imagine the intern that had to wash out that cup

0:20:06.520 --> 0:20:08.919
<v Speaker 2>after the mess that was made.

0:20:09.320 --> 0:20:13.240
<v Speaker 1>Where is that true crime documentary? They're fucking talking about

0:20:13.280 --> 0:20:15.600
<v Speaker 1>everything else? Why don't we have a two girls, one

0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:18.440
<v Speaker 1>cup video history. Yeah.

0:20:18.480 --> 0:20:20.800
<v Speaker 2>The fact that they haven't come forward and said like

0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:24.879
<v Speaker 2>this was abuse, this, this was a violation tells you

0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:27.359
<v Speaker 2>something something crazy you had to have had They had

0:20:27.359 --> 0:20:28.080
<v Speaker 2>to have been murdered.

0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:31.600
<v Speaker 1>I think that they I don't know, maybe they're maybe

0:20:31.640 --> 0:20:32.520
<v Speaker 1>they're proud of it.

0:20:33.200 --> 0:20:36.679
<v Speaker 2>Okay, but but great.

0:20:36.560 --> 0:20:39.399
<v Speaker 1>The word great is not a moral word. It's just

0:20:39.440 --> 0:20:42.200
<v Speaker 1>a word for a size.

0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:46.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I guess where I start to worry or worry wonder?

0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:50.800
<v Speaker 2>I guess is something that popular? They couldn't have been

0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:54.200
<v Speaker 2>paid that much, right, So it becomes that.

0:20:54.320 --> 0:20:55.879
<v Speaker 1>As much as it was seen, no.

0:20:57.000 --> 0:20:59.960
<v Speaker 2>So so why haven't we heard of any of them

0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:03.680
<v Speaker 2>coming forward and being like, hey, we never saw enough

0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:11.200
<v Speaker 2>money on what became truly a worldwide phenomenon. Dog, where

0:21:11.240 --> 0:21:12.840
<v Speaker 2>are the two girls one Cup Girl?

0:21:12.880 --> 0:21:17.720
<v Speaker 1>Where they at? Where's the cameraman? Girls?

0:21:22.960 --> 0:21:28.080
<v Speaker 2>And specifically the two girls one cup girl? Dog? We

0:21:28.160 --> 0:21:32.760
<v Speaker 2>gotta make the tea that's a perfect goddamn T shirt

0:21:33.240 --> 0:21:36.400
<v Speaker 2>is bring Back our Girl hashtag bring back our Girls,

0:21:36.760 --> 0:21:39.480
<v Speaker 2>And it's just the image of the two girls one

0:21:39.520 --> 0:21:41.600
<v Speaker 2>cup ladies right beneath it.

0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:45.080
<v Speaker 1>Bro. You know what's crazy is they could walk into

0:21:45.119 --> 0:21:47.480
<v Speaker 1>my apartment right now. I would not recognize them.

0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:49.879
<v Speaker 2>You wouldn't recognize them because they're not covered in poop.

0:21:55.840 --> 0:21:57.040
<v Speaker 2>They were covered in poop. People.

0:21:57.200 --> 0:22:04.960
<v Speaker 4>I know you, Oh, I recognized you.

0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:10.680
<v Speaker 1>Wait, so why were we talk. We're talking about poop

0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:11.119
<v Speaker 1>and mouth.

0:22:11.560 --> 0:22:15.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the poop and mouth conspiracy. There is what what

0:22:15.600 --> 0:22:20.120
<v Speaker 2>Carly sent us. Carly sent us this email and she said, Hey,

0:22:20.200 --> 0:22:23.679
<v Speaker 2>Langston and David, I love your show. I've been talking

0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:26.480
<v Speaker 2>shit to my husband forever, swearing I will email my

0:22:26.520 --> 0:22:31.120
<v Speaker 2>own conspiracy and finally making it happen. So here we go.

0:22:31.800 --> 0:22:34.960
<v Speaker 2>I am biracialal My black mom and her extended family

0:22:35.000 --> 0:22:38.280
<v Speaker 2>are responsible for most of my upbringing. As kids, my

0:22:38.400 --> 0:22:41.880
<v Speaker 2>cousins and I were always pushing to finish our plates

0:22:41.920 --> 0:22:44.760
<v Speaker 2>at meal time, whether you liked what you would you

0:22:44.800 --> 0:22:47.840
<v Speaker 2>were being served or not. At some point us kids

0:22:47.880 --> 0:22:50.800
<v Speaker 2>started this thing. We thought we were being slick. I

0:22:50.960 --> 0:22:55.400
<v Speaker 2>just by just holding a big mouthful of food forever

0:22:55.800 --> 0:22:59.280
<v Speaker 2>without swallowing, presumably in hopes that dinner would end at

0:22:59.320 --> 0:23:02.200
<v Speaker 2>the and the adults would give up on making us

0:23:02.200 --> 0:23:05.720
<v Speaker 2>finish our plates. When the adults caught onto this ruse,

0:23:06.000 --> 0:23:08.119
<v Speaker 2>my mama told me that if we kept food in

0:23:08.160 --> 0:23:11.960
<v Speaker 2>our mouths for too long, it will automatically turn to shit,

0:23:12.440 --> 0:23:16.160
<v Speaker 2>like actual physical poop in your mouth. It was devious

0:23:16.200 --> 0:23:21.040
<v Speaker 2>and insanely effective. Where you at so far? Where what

0:23:21.400 --> 0:23:24.679
<v Speaker 2>are your feelings? I'll finish the email. Let's let's gauge

0:23:24.720 --> 0:23:26.960
<v Speaker 2>your immediate responses inside of this.

0:23:28.720 --> 0:23:36.960
<v Speaker 1>Listen, I'm not a doctor. Okay, here's what I got.

0:23:37.440 --> 0:23:39.159
<v Speaker 1>Poop is made out of food.

0:23:39.560 --> 0:23:43.040
<v Speaker 2>That's rights as.

0:23:42.960 --> 0:23:45.440
<v Speaker 1>Far as I can go on. That's as far as

0:23:45.480 --> 0:23:49.719
<v Speaker 1>I can do. I think that like if I just

0:23:49.840 --> 0:23:52.119
<v Speaker 1>kept food in my mouth for a long time, it

0:23:52.160 --> 0:23:56.000
<v Speaker 1>would turn the poop. No, I think it would smell bad.

0:23:56.359 --> 0:23:56.679
<v Speaker 2>Mmmm.

0:23:58.040 --> 0:24:00.159
<v Speaker 1>But do I think it would turn turn it in

0:24:00.200 --> 0:24:02.840
<v Speaker 1>the same poop that comes out of my butt?

0:24:03.160 --> 0:24:06.040
<v Speaker 2>Do you think it would smell bad? Like poop bad

0:24:06.240 --> 0:24:11.919
<v Speaker 2>or like just like like old oats and hot breath

0:24:12.119 --> 0:24:14.520
<v Speaker 2>type bad? Like do you think it's.

0:24:14.200 --> 0:24:17.200
<v Speaker 1>It's like, have you ever like douse those little the

0:24:17.560 --> 0:24:20.720
<v Speaker 1>tooth the dentax strips? Do you ever eat these things?

0:24:21.200 --> 0:24:21.600
<v Speaker 1>I got them?

0:24:22.040 --> 0:24:25.879
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, those the things that people are are throwing

0:24:25.920 --> 0:24:27.840
<v Speaker 2>on the street constantly for something.

0:24:27.960 --> 0:24:32.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah. Sometimes I'll pull like a

0:24:32.400 --> 0:24:34.800
<v Speaker 1>piece of steak or something out with one of these,

0:24:35.280 --> 0:24:37.560
<v Speaker 1>and it smells pretty bad, and that SIT's just been

0:24:37.600 --> 0:24:45.320
<v Speaker 1>in there for like twenty minutes, because like if I

0:24:45.320 --> 0:24:47.159
<v Speaker 1>get a big one, you know, I'll sniff it and

0:24:47.320 --> 0:24:52.600
<v Speaker 1>like yeah, so like extrapolate that over time. I think,

0:24:54.640 --> 0:24:58.080
<v Speaker 1>I think that's something happened. I don't know. This is

0:24:58.119 --> 0:24:59.080
<v Speaker 1>a difficult one.

0:24:59.400 --> 0:25:05.479
<v Speaker 2>It is. I guess where my brain originally went. Is

0:25:06.119 --> 0:25:10.399
<v Speaker 2>holding food you don't like in your mouth. It would

0:25:10.440 --> 0:25:15.000
<v Speaker 2>taste like shit. Yeah, it seems like at the point

0:25:15.040 --> 0:25:17.560
<v Speaker 2>that you've put it in your mouth, you've you've already

0:25:17.560 --> 0:25:22.119
<v Speaker 2>crossed the threshold. You don't just finished the motherfucker.

0:25:22.520 --> 0:25:24.360
<v Speaker 1>That's what I mean. Children are stupid.

0:25:24.680 --> 0:25:27.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's the craziest part of this to me, is

0:25:27.480 --> 0:25:30.719
<v Speaker 2>like I'll just hold these chitlings in my mouth and

0:25:30.760 --> 0:25:33.840
<v Speaker 2>that way I don't have to experience them. It's like, no,

0:25:33.920 --> 0:25:37.280
<v Speaker 2>that's the worst part. Also, that's crazy to me because

0:25:37.359 --> 0:25:41.199
<v Speaker 2>like maybe I'm crazy. My mom can cook. That's like

0:25:41.359 --> 0:25:45.760
<v Speaker 2>one thing we never had, like nasty meals in my mouth,

0:25:46.000 --> 0:25:49.639
<v Speaker 2>Like are you pants cook? My mom could cook. She

0:25:49.720 --> 0:25:52.600
<v Speaker 2>didn't love doing it, but she could cook. My dad

0:25:52.720 --> 0:25:55.640
<v Speaker 2>I think had like four meals that he knew how

0:25:55.680 --> 0:25:59.000
<v Speaker 2>to handle, and like we would have those pretty consistently.

0:25:59.400 --> 0:26:02.840
<v Speaker 2>They hit for for my palette then and and I'm

0:26:02.840 --> 0:26:05.080
<v Speaker 2>a big fan of my Daddy's a good man, good

0:26:05.520 --> 0:26:11.040
<v Speaker 2>man good But I wouldn't say that. I I'd like

0:26:11.640 --> 0:26:13.639
<v Speaker 2>go to somebody else's house and be like, man, you

0:26:13.720 --> 0:26:16.920
<v Speaker 2>gotta try my dad's tomato chicken. It's like, I don't

0:26:17.720 --> 0:26:18.439
<v Speaker 2>I enjoyed it.

0:26:18.760 --> 0:26:19.800
<v Speaker 1>What it was?

0:26:19.920 --> 0:26:23.480
<v Speaker 2>Chicken with tomatoes all over it? I don't know. Again,

0:26:24.240 --> 0:26:25.439
<v Speaker 2>good man.

0:26:28.400 --> 0:26:30.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't put those two words together.

0:26:30.640 --> 0:26:32.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, what do you want from me?

0:26:33.400 --> 0:26:33.800
<v Speaker 1>No?

0:26:33.680 --> 0:26:41.439
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm a victim too, So I was like, no,

0:26:41.560 --> 0:26:44.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna say, like, you know, great chef, but

0:26:44.720 --> 0:26:48.800
<v Speaker 2>I enjoyed what we had growing up and and have

0:26:49.280 --> 0:26:52.159
<v Speaker 2>zero regrets about having ate it. Do you know what

0:26:52.160 --> 0:26:52.440
<v Speaker 2>I mean?

0:26:52.720 --> 0:26:59.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Yeah, yeah, tomato chicken. But that's big. That's like

0:26:59.560 --> 0:27:01.280
<v Speaker 1>prison's parents food was nasty.

0:27:02.119 --> 0:27:05.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, that part's pretty clear. Was like, this is

0:27:05.680 --> 0:27:09.159
<v Speaker 2>nasty food, but apparently also nasty because it was so

0:27:09.400 --> 0:27:13.320
<v Speaker 2>unseasoned and so sort of like blank that it was.

0:27:13.840 --> 0:27:16.919
<v Speaker 2>You could keep it in your mouth for for sometimes

0:27:17.000 --> 0:27:22.359
<v Speaker 2>hours at a time to escape responsibility of finishing your plate.

0:27:24.720 --> 0:27:27.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah I don't. But do I think you Okay, So

0:27:27.720 --> 0:27:30.400
<v Speaker 1>back to this conspiracy beery. Yeah, no, I don't think

0:27:30.400 --> 0:27:32.200
<v Speaker 1>it would turn anoop mm hmm.

0:27:33.240 --> 0:27:40.560
<v Speaker 2>I I guess I kind of do. I guess, if

0:27:40.600 --> 0:27:43.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm being completely honest, I don't think that it's necessarily

0:27:43.960 --> 0:27:46.399
<v Speaker 2>gonna take the form that poop does. I think you

0:27:46.480 --> 0:27:48.680
<v Speaker 2>gotta make it all the way down to the end

0:27:48.680 --> 0:27:54.840
<v Speaker 2>of the train to to to get that blackened uh cajun, Yeah,

0:27:54.880 --> 0:27:58.320
<v Speaker 2>that Cajun flavoring that that ends up with poop. But

0:27:58.480 --> 0:28:02.280
<v Speaker 2>I do think that that's It's like the difference between

0:28:02.400 --> 0:28:05.879
<v Speaker 2>like black and salmon and like and like sushi, do

0:28:05.880 --> 0:28:08.280
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean? Like theyre's still both fish.

0:28:09.040 --> 0:28:12.320
<v Speaker 2>It's just like, oh, okay, this is poop. This is

0:28:12.520 --> 0:28:16.640
<v Speaker 2>like gross fucking mush that like is to your point,

0:28:16.720 --> 0:28:19.840
<v Speaker 2>gonna stink and like be vile in a way. That's

0:28:19.920 --> 0:28:22.639
<v Speaker 2>like pretty close to poop. If we if we like

0:28:22.800 --> 0:28:25.480
<v Speaker 2>had a scientist in a in a glass, you know

0:28:25.480 --> 0:28:25.880
<v Speaker 2>what I mean.

0:28:27.000 --> 0:28:29.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean, But isn't poop, man, we're talking so much

0:28:29.960 --> 0:28:34.679
<v Speaker 1>about is it? It's like, but poop is also stripped

0:28:34.720 --> 0:28:37.680
<v Speaker 1>of all the nutrients. It's like you take all the

0:28:37.760 --> 0:28:41.400
<v Speaker 1>nutrients out and then your body pushes out the rest. Yeah.

0:28:41.440 --> 0:28:44.640
<v Speaker 2>And I think that at least in my understanding, that

0:28:44.720 --> 0:28:46.920
<v Speaker 2>the more that we cook something right, the more that

0:28:46.960 --> 0:28:49.520
<v Speaker 2>we heat it, the more that we uh that the

0:28:49.640 --> 0:28:54.160
<v Speaker 2>more nutrients are lost into the atmosphere or I guess

0:28:54.160 --> 0:28:57.560
<v Speaker 2>into the fire, whatever the fuck it is. And similarly,

0:28:57.720 --> 0:29:03.400
<v Speaker 2>I think when you leave something soaking in a saliva

0:29:03.760 --> 0:29:07.480
<v Speaker 2>or around bacteria, that's gonna be eating up those nutrients.

0:29:07.840 --> 0:29:10.560
<v Speaker 2>I think in this case, we're just not absorbing them

0:29:10.920 --> 0:29:13.840
<v Speaker 2>the way that we would. They're just being dissolved in

0:29:13.920 --> 0:29:21.080
<v Speaker 2>our bullshit mouths. Okay, I mean you don't you have no,

0:29:21.240 --> 0:29:22.520
<v Speaker 2>I have no, I have no.

0:29:22.800 --> 0:29:26.200
<v Speaker 1>This is the weirdest conspiracy theory because it's not based

0:29:26.240 --> 0:29:31.600
<v Speaker 1>in race. So I have no like, I have no

0:29:31.720 --> 0:29:33.760
<v Speaker 1>like people I want to win or lose.

0:29:33.840 --> 0:29:38.160
<v Speaker 2>You, I got you. Let's read on because maybe, and

0:29:38.640 --> 0:29:41.120
<v Speaker 2>it's worth noting that I do believe Carly said that

0:29:41.160 --> 0:29:44.200
<v Speaker 2>she was raised by her black mom, yes, and extended family,

0:29:44.280 --> 0:29:47.000
<v Speaker 2>and so it sounds like they were doing this in

0:29:47.040 --> 0:29:50.920
<v Speaker 2>a black household, and subsequently it came from a black

0:29:51.000 --> 0:29:54.240
<v Speaker 2>parent that that you got shit in your mouth if

0:29:54.280 --> 0:29:59.800
<v Speaker 2>you hold it in your face. I need proof with

0:30:00.320 --> 0:30:03.120
<v Speaker 2>like that, I got you. You need somebody to poop

0:30:03.120 --> 0:30:05.800
<v Speaker 2>out their mouth and then you're like, God, I got you.

0:30:06.320 --> 0:30:07.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there it is.

0:30:08.800 --> 0:30:10.720
<v Speaker 2>She goes on to say, So I'll be the first

0:30:10.720 --> 0:30:14.840
<v Speaker 2>to admit that this isn't a textbook conspiracy theory per se,

0:30:14.960 --> 0:30:18.000
<v Speaker 2>but I certainly believed it and was deceived by it

0:30:18.080 --> 0:30:21.400
<v Speaker 2>for an embarrassingly long time. I also came to realize

0:30:21.440 --> 0:30:24.680
<v Speaker 2>there's some poignant themes in there that I didn't really

0:30:24.760 --> 0:30:27.360
<v Speaker 2>process until I was an adult, something about not letting

0:30:27.400 --> 0:30:30.360
<v Speaker 2>anything go to waste and not taking food for granted,

0:30:30.480 --> 0:30:33.080
<v Speaker 2>especially when so many others in our community of lower

0:30:33.160 --> 0:30:37.960
<v Speaker 2>income black and brown families went without Anyhow, over the years,

0:30:38.000 --> 0:30:39.840
<v Speaker 2>I always get a good laugh when I tell people

0:30:39.880 --> 0:30:43.200
<v Speaker 2>about this lie. Or is it that my mama told

0:30:43.200 --> 0:30:45.880
<v Speaker 2>me that I thought you guys would get a laugh

0:30:45.960 --> 0:30:51.760
<v Speaker 2>too much? Love Carly, Yeah, Carly, your mama is a liar. Yeah,

0:30:51.960 --> 0:30:52.680
<v Speaker 2>she lied to you.

0:30:52.720 --> 0:30:55.720
<v Speaker 1>Probably you didn't want to eat a nasty as food.

0:30:55.720 --> 0:30:58.000
<v Speaker 2>I get it, But you know what I see the vision,

0:30:58.040 --> 0:31:05.000
<v Speaker 2>my ma. I think that whatever's been whatever's been kept

0:31:05.040 --> 0:31:08.160
<v Speaker 2>in your face is equivalent to shit at the point

0:31:08.200 --> 0:31:10.120
<v Speaker 2>that you would spit it out, and it is not

0:31:10.240 --> 0:31:15.720
<v Speaker 2>only harmful and wasteful, but it also is basically poopish.

0:31:15.800 --> 0:31:19.160
<v Speaker 2>It's poop, It's it's Kenny Barus brings to all of

0:31:19.240 --> 0:31:23.280
<v Speaker 2>us poopish. It's a lighter poop, it's.

0:31:23.160 --> 0:31:24.200
<v Speaker 1>A biracial poop.

0:31:24.320 --> 0:31:27.320
<v Speaker 2>It's a biracial poop, but it's it's got its own

0:31:27.360 --> 0:31:30.760
<v Speaker 2>struggles that we were unaware of twenty years ago.

0:31:33.400 --> 0:31:35.440
<v Speaker 1>Poopish starring Tracy Yellen is wrong.

0:31:37.040 --> 0:31:38.760
<v Speaker 2>She's back back.

0:31:38.840 --> 0:31:49.760
<v Speaker 1>Baby. You can't can't give a good man? Damn? Do

0:31:49.800 --> 0:31:51.880
<v Speaker 1>you want to come see my mama told me live

0:31:51.880 --> 0:31:54.840
<v Speaker 1>at the Allegiant Theater on February sixteenth. But you don't

0:31:54.880 --> 0:31:57.760
<v Speaker 1>live in Los Angeles? Have we got an offer for you?

0:31:58.040 --> 0:32:01.040
<v Speaker 1>We're live streaming it be a moment. What do you

0:32:01.080 --> 0:32:03.719
<v Speaker 1>in Q and A's you can see me, you can

0:32:03.760 --> 0:32:05.960
<v Speaker 1>see Langston. Tell them about it, Langston.

0:32:06.240 --> 0:32:10.240
<v Speaker 2>Please purchase tickets at moment dot co slash. My mama

0:32:10.280 --> 0:32:14.480
<v Speaker 2>told me again February sixteenth at the Aleician Theater, but

0:32:14.600 --> 0:32:17.480
<v Speaker 2>in your homes for the live stream or the next

0:32:17.600 --> 0:32:25.440
<v Speaker 2>five days after, so buy those tickets. Olivia mentioned that

0:32:25.480 --> 0:32:31.080
<v Speaker 2>there is apparently a disease, a disorder of sorts.

0:32:31.320 --> 0:32:33.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh, because if you hold it for too long when

0:32:33.200 --> 0:32:34.280
<v Speaker 1>it comes at your mouth.

0:32:34.200 --> 0:32:42.720
<v Speaker 2>Right, yeah, so well apparently there's something uh yeah, feculent vomiting,

0:32:43.440 --> 0:32:46.719
<v Speaker 2>fecal being the root word there. If anybody was wondering

0:32:48.440 --> 0:32:53.720
<v Speaker 2>where people throw up poop out of their mouths, I

0:32:53.720 --> 0:32:56.320
<v Speaker 2>guess unexpectedly.

0:32:55.840 --> 0:33:00.920
<v Speaker 1>Which truly sounds like the worst day. There's no what

0:33:00.920 --> 0:33:01.480
<v Speaker 1>do you do?

0:33:02.200 --> 0:33:12.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, let's say you're at dinner. Right, Let's say

0:33:13.760 --> 0:33:18.720
<v Speaker 2>let's say you're at a fine Lebanese restaurant and and

0:33:18.800 --> 0:33:22.840
<v Speaker 2>you you feculent vomit out of your face or do

0:33:22.920 --> 0:33:25.520
<v Speaker 2>you wait for the check? Do you how do you

0:33:25.600 --> 0:33:27.120
<v Speaker 2>proceed after that?

0:33:30.360 --> 0:33:33.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm out? Are you kidding? No, fucking you?

0:33:33.960 --> 0:33:36.520
<v Speaker 2>You vomit out of your you vomit ship out of

0:33:36.560 --> 0:33:39.800
<v Speaker 2>your face, and then you just stand up and you

0:33:39.800 --> 0:33:42.520
<v Speaker 2>you just walk. You just meeting you.

0:33:43.240 --> 0:33:47.120
<v Speaker 1>Again, probably not even on that side of town, to

0:33:47.200 --> 0:33:48.320
<v Speaker 1>be honest, I won't come back.

0:33:48.680 --> 0:33:50.959
<v Speaker 2>So you're not moving cities. But you are like a

0:33:51.000 --> 0:33:52.520
<v Speaker 2>New Borough kind of dude.

0:33:52.680 --> 0:33:53.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm off that street.

0:33:54.000 --> 0:33:54.440
<v Speaker 2>I got you?

0:33:58.160 --> 0:34:02.200
<v Speaker 1>Are you kidding me? Ship out of my mouths Now,

0:34:02.280 --> 0:34:05.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm gone brover.

0:34:06.280 --> 0:34:10.560
<v Speaker 2>Well, this is a very real thing that apparently exists,

0:34:10.600 --> 0:34:14.040
<v Speaker 2>and the American Journal of Surgery I'm reading now looks

0:34:14.080 --> 0:34:18.440
<v Speaker 2>specifically at feculent bombing. Researchers found that throwing up poop,

0:34:18.680 --> 0:34:22.960
<v Speaker 2>while not common, was associated with some type of intestinal obstruction,

0:34:23.480 --> 0:34:28.200
<v Speaker 2>including either of the following mechanical intestinal obstruction a partial

0:34:29.239 --> 0:34:32.200
<v Speaker 2>or complete blockage of the intestine that's more common in

0:34:32.239 --> 0:34:38.040
<v Speaker 2>the small bow paralytic obstruction. With this condition, muscle or

0:34:38.160 --> 0:34:42.600
<v Speaker 2>nerve problems disrupt the normal muscle contractions of the intestines.

0:34:43.040 --> 0:34:48.640
<v Speaker 2>A paralytic can can cause symptoms of an intestinal blockage,

0:34:48.680 --> 0:34:52.040
<v Speaker 2>but there's not a physical blockage. So it sounds like

0:34:52.160 --> 0:34:54.680
<v Speaker 2>most of this has to do with the intestine more

0:34:54.719 --> 0:34:57.960
<v Speaker 2>than just you holding it in your mouth and then

0:34:58.040 --> 0:34:58.720
<v Speaker 2>becoming poop.

0:34:59.040 --> 0:35:02.080
<v Speaker 1>Right, this is your testings is fucked up. It's gotta

0:35:02.080 --> 0:35:02.640
<v Speaker 1>come out.

0:35:03.040 --> 0:35:06.799
<v Speaker 2>And they're like, we're going back, baby.

0:35:07.200 --> 0:35:11.719
<v Speaker 1>Staking ass bread. I miss bad breath jokes. Remember when

0:35:11.719 --> 0:35:13.600
<v Speaker 1>there used to be so many bad breath jokes? When

0:35:13.600 --> 0:35:14.640
<v Speaker 1>did we stopped doing that?

0:35:15.080 --> 0:35:19.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I will say that that one of Uh it's

0:35:19.480 --> 0:35:21.840
<v Speaker 2>a bad breath joke that lives in my head forever,

0:35:21.920 --> 0:35:24.880
<v Speaker 2>and it's a it's it happened to a very funny

0:35:24.880 --> 0:35:28.480
<v Speaker 2>comedian and a friend. So I won't name names, but uh,

0:35:29.640 --> 0:35:33.640
<v Speaker 2>one time we were leaving we were leaving a concert.

0:35:34.040 --> 0:35:37.600
<v Speaker 2>It was me, Jack and a few others and this

0:35:37.680 --> 0:35:42.480
<v Speaker 2>comedian and uh, at one point, out of nowhere, Jack

0:35:43.080 --> 0:35:46.200
<v Speaker 2>just turned to this dude and was like, donk your

0:35:46.239 --> 0:35:54.040
<v Speaker 2>breath is fucking like shit. It's like and we've all

0:35:54.080 --> 0:35:58.879
<v Speaker 2>been talking about it. Everybody knows that, come on, man,

0:35:58.920 --> 0:36:01.560
<v Speaker 2>we gotta do something. And then walked him into a

0:36:01.840 --> 0:36:06.880
<v Speaker 2>convenience store and bought him gum in front of like

0:36:07.080 --> 0:36:10.400
<v Speaker 2>ten people and like made this big announcement. It was

0:36:10.440 --> 0:36:14.319
<v Speaker 2>one of the meanest, most effective things that he could

0:36:14.360 --> 0:36:16.240
<v Speaker 2>have possibly do done in that moment.

0:36:18.160 --> 0:36:21.920
<v Speaker 1>But like, did his did you see this guy later?

0:36:22.120 --> 0:36:23.520
<v Speaker 1>And or was his breath?

0:36:23.680 --> 0:36:23.759
<v Speaker 3>No?

0:36:23.840 --> 0:36:27.120
<v Speaker 2>He kept hanging out with us and and it helped.

0:36:27.200 --> 0:36:31.120
<v Speaker 2>The gum definitely helped. And I feel ashamed even bringing

0:36:31.200 --> 0:36:34.280
<v Speaker 2>it up, but it was so much funny but is insane.

0:36:35.080 --> 0:36:38.719
<v Speaker 2>It was truly one of the funniest things that that

0:36:38.800 --> 0:36:42.360
<v Speaker 2>has ever happened where because he was talking, he was

0:36:42.400 --> 0:36:44.880
<v Speaker 2>happening a good night, we have been to a concert,

0:36:45.000 --> 0:36:48.440
<v Speaker 2>We were just enjoying some shit, and Jack was just like,

0:36:48.600 --> 0:36:54.480
<v Speaker 2>bro your breath. Everybody, look the secrets out, man. Everybody knows.

0:36:54.640 --> 0:36:57.160
<v Speaker 2>We've already had private conversations about it.

0:36:57.239 --> 0:36:59.839
<v Speaker 1>You got it. That's that's the beauty of Jack. Though

0:37:00.040 --> 0:37:02.480
<v Speaker 1>It's like you do have to like, he could have

0:37:02.520 --> 0:37:04.480
<v Speaker 1>not done it, you know what I mean.

0:37:05.120 --> 0:37:06.160
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't gonna do it.

0:37:07.280 --> 0:37:08.000
<v Speaker 1>That's the big.

0:37:09.480 --> 0:37:11.839
<v Speaker 2>It was just gonna be. You know, I was just

0:37:11.840 --> 0:37:15.200
<v Speaker 2>gonna have a rough night. I was like, Man, if

0:37:15.239 --> 0:37:18.120
<v Speaker 2>I drink enough, maybe this will You don't smell nothing

0:37:18.120 --> 0:37:24.600
<v Speaker 2>when you drunk. Yeah yeah, walk the man into a

0:37:25.080 --> 0:37:31.480
<v Speaker 2>bodega and said here fix this. So to your point,

0:37:31.640 --> 0:37:34.040
<v Speaker 2>I think there's still some bad breath jokes out there.

0:37:34.080 --> 0:37:38.799
<v Speaker 4>They just think good hidden as often as they used to.

0:37:39.440 --> 0:37:43.319
<v Speaker 4>It was the mainstay of my childhood. The problem with

0:37:43.360 --> 0:37:46.480
<v Speaker 4>bad breath is like people could lie about it. Whoa

0:37:47.400 --> 0:37:50.040
<v Speaker 4>people could be like, oh, he's breast stinks, and then

0:37:50.080 --> 0:37:52.440
<v Speaker 4>it's like, but does it? Are you just being me?

0:37:53.400 --> 0:37:54.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:37:54.960 --> 0:37:55.120
<v Speaker 1>Like?

0:37:55.520 --> 0:37:58.440
<v Speaker 2>Meaning like if I if I say your breast stinks,

0:37:58.480 --> 0:38:01.640
<v Speaker 2>but you're not nearby to prove it, I'm just I'm

0:38:01.680 --> 0:38:03.759
<v Speaker 2>just saying a random thing about you.

0:38:03.960 --> 0:38:07.160
<v Speaker 1>Like if a woman says that your breath staying, there's

0:38:07.200 --> 0:38:10.080
<v Speaker 1>no you can't, there's no rebuttal.

0:38:10.040 --> 0:38:11.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah she's just a hater.

0:38:12.160 --> 0:38:14.640
<v Speaker 1>But but there's no like you coming and being like no,

0:38:14.719 --> 0:38:17.000
<v Speaker 1>actually I brushed my teeth. She just didn't like me.

0:38:18.200 --> 0:38:21.000
<v Speaker 1>Oh you know what I'm saying. It's just like your breastinks.

0:38:21.000 --> 0:38:24.080
<v Speaker 2>Then oh you're saying that at the point there's no

0:38:24.200 --> 0:38:26.040
<v Speaker 2>rebuttal for the receiver of that.

0:38:26.320 --> 0:38:29.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there's no there's no you can't you can't beat that.

0:38:29.880 --> 0:38:34.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it does it. It sucks when they're I think

0:38:34.360 --> 0:38:36.840
<v Speaker 2>it got overused in the nineties, right, There was a

0:38:36.880 --> 0:38:40.080
<v Speaker 2>point where like they were constantly telling people their breast things,

0:38:40.320 --> 0:38:42.520
<v Speaker 2>and it was like, yeah, but you're nowhere near them.

0:38:42.640 --> 0:38:44.120
<v Speaker 2>We don't even how do you know?

0:38:44.600 --> 0:38:46.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah, I got watered down.

0:38:47.040 --> 0:38:49.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it got super watered down. But then there was

0:38:49.320 --> 0:38:51.520
<v Speaker 2>a point to your point where it was like, oh,

0:38:51.560 --> 0:38:54.520
<v Speaker 2>if somebody said it to you and they were close

0:38:54.640 --> 0:38:57.040
<v Speaker 2>enough and or like had a context to be able

0:38:57.080 --> 0:38:59.440
<v Speaker 2>to point it out, it became a thing that you

0:38:59.680 --> 0:39:02.359
<v Speaker 2>was like a challenge for the rest of your life.

0:39:02.719 --> 0:39:06.160
<v Speaker 1>Right right, right, right, right, right, man, we gotta bring

0:39:06.239 --> 0:39:06.600
<v Speaker 1>that back.

0:39:07.080 --> 0:39:10.279
<v Speaker 2>I used to carry banaka just out of fear of.

0:39:14.120 --> 0:39:15.959
<v Speaker 1>I don't works that well.

0:39:16.520 --> 0:39:18.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't think it does either. I think you're truly

0:39:18.600 --> 0:39:22.759
<v Speaker 2>just getting kind of buzzed off of of a listerine.

0:39:23.200 --> 0:39:24.560
<v Speaker 1>Do they even make it anymore?

0:39:24.880 --> 0:39:26.360
<v Speaker 2>I think they still make banaka.

0:39:26.520 --> 0:39:29.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, man, that was some fresh shirt to do. Though

0:39:29.040 --> 0:39:32.800
<v Speaker 1>it's under twenty and you had banaka. That was pretty fresh.

0:39:32.840 --> 0:39:34.440
<v Speaker 2>You just sprayed a couple of times, and it was

0:39:34.480 --> 0:39:37.600
<v Speaker 2>like a cool as hell. Yeah, you end up at

0:39:37.640 --> 0:39:39.799
<v Speaker 2>a girl's house and you know that that part of

0:39:39.800 --> 0:39:41.600
<v Speaker 2>the night where you got to empty your pockets and

0:39:41.840 --> 0:39:43.040
<v Speaker 2>you pull some knockout.

0:39:43.360 --> 0:39:44.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, she knows you're on point.

0:39:44.880 --> 0:39:46.799
<v Speaker 2>She knows you're playing this. This is.

0:39:48.640 --> 0:39:50.040
<v Speaker 1>This girl.

0:39:51.160 --> 0:40:00.520
<v Speaker 2>I was always ready for you, shorty later today. Yeah, man,

0:40:00.760 --> 0:40:03.040
<v Speaker 2>you know what, don't buy it. I'm gonna send you

0:40:03.160 --> 0:40:05.160
<v Speaker 2>some knock I'm gonna send you a big old case

0:40:05.200 --> 0:40:09.120
<v Speaker 2>of man so you can get back to whatever whatever

0:40:09.200 --> 0:40:13.640
<v Speaker 2>that is for you. Keep some on the bedside, keep

0:40:13.680 --> 0:40:19.279
<v Speaker 2>some in your sock like an extra gun. You got

0:40:19.280 --> 0:40:21.640
<v Speaker 2>a little bit knock a holester right on your sock.

0:40:25.320 --> 0:40:28.880
<v Speaker 1>I like to put it in the little pocket, you know,

0:40:28.920 --> 0:40:33.920
<v Speaker 1>the fifth pocket on the that's where goes just in

0:40:33.960 --> 0:40:38.560
<v Speaker 1>case don't go out your soul. You gotta have cash run.

0:40:38.640 --> 0:40:40.800
<v Speaker 2>You gotta have one hundred dollars in your little pocket.

0:40:40.840 --> 0:40:47.120
<v Speaker 2>Come on, man. So so it doesn't sound, it doesn't

0:40:47.280 --> 0:40:51.560
<v Speaker 2>sound like you're you're even still convinced that this is

0:40:52.480 --> 0:40:53.520
<v Speaker 2>one and.

0:40:53.520 --> 0:40:56.399
<v Speaker 1>This was complicated because this one was not. This isn't

0:40:56.440 --> 0:40:59.239
<v Speaker 1>a that's not a typical conspiracy theory. You know what

0:40:59.280 --> 0:40:59.560
<v Speaker 1>I mean.

0:41:00.400 --> 0:41:02.919
<v Speaker 2>I think in this case, it feels like your mom

0:41:03.040 --> 0:41:08.200
<v Speaker 2>was writing her own contemporary allegories, like in the same

0:41:08.239 --> 0:41:11.719
<v Speaker 2>way that like Jonas in the Whale, ain't that his name?

0:41:11.880 --> 0:41:16.319
<v Speaker 2>Jonah Jonah and the Whale is he didn't really get

0:41:16.400 --> 0:41:19.000
<v Speaker 2>swallowed by a whale and then come out of it.

0:41:19.239 --> 0:41:22.440
<v Speaker 2>But it's a lesson about like faithfulness.

0:41:23.840 --> 0:41:26.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, my mom used to tell me. My mom told

0:41:26.480 --> 0:41:28.920
<v Speaker 1>me if you swallowed chewing gum, and this is a

0:41:28.960 --> 0:41:31.560
<v Speaker 1>direct quote, it will rub against your gut and.

0:41:31.560 --> 0:41:33.960
<v Speaker 2>You will die.

0:41:34.200 --> 0:41:35.920
<v Speaker 1>And then and I thought it was just me. I

0:41:35.960 --> 0:41:38.200
<v Speaker 1>talked to my little brother about it recently. She told

0:41:38.239 --> 0:41:41.600
<v Speaker 1>him the same thing, not basing anything other than don't

0:41:41.640 --> 0:41:42.160
<v Speaker 1>eat gum.

0:41:43.200 --> 0:41:46.280
<v Speaker 2>What you shouldn't eat gum. It's really really bad for you, That's.

0:41:46.160 --> 0:41:48.000
<v Speaker 1>What I'm saying. And I think that's where it came from.

0:41:48.040 --> 0:41:49.360
<v Speaker 1>She was like, if you eat because you know, I

0:41:49.400 --> 0:41:52.080
<v Speaker 1>was a kid, I was fucking housing big weak chu.

0:41:52.680 --> 0:41:58.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'll take your thickest pack, sir.

0:41:58.960 --> 0:42:07.000
<v Speaker 1>Yes, sir, and the bubble tape to go. Yeah.

0:42:07.080 --> 0:42:10.839
<v Speaker 2>I think I think that's one of those where it's like, yeah,

0:42:10.960 --> 0:42:14.440
<v Speaker 2>technically you will die, but it's not just because of

0:42:14.560 --> 0:42:16.480
<v Speaker 2>the one piece of bubble gum. You would have to

0:42:16.520 --> 0:42:20.560
<v Speaker 2>be doing that constantly for a long, active period of

0:42:20.600 --> 0:42:23.680
<v Speaker 2>time for this to start to have its residual effects.

0:42:23.880 --> 0:42:25.680
<v Speaker 1>And the point is that it worked to this day.

0:42:25.880 --> 0:42:28.279
<v Speaker 1>I don't swallow gum, and I think Carly eats all

0:42:28.280 --> 0:42:28.680
<v Speaker 1>her food.

0:42:29.239 --> 0:42:33.360
<v Speaker 2>Hell yeah, Carly, we hope that you are finishing your plate.

0:42:33.400 --> 0:42:36.799
<v Speaker 2>We hope you have a big old pile of unseasoned

0:42:36.800 --> 0:42:39.279
<v Speaker 2>pasta in front of you right now, and and you

0:42:39.320 --> 0:42:41.839
<v Speaker 2>finish it anyway because of fear that you might be

0:42:42.440 --> 0:42:43.279
<v Speaker 2>shitting out your.

0:42:43.160 --> 0:42:45.240
<v Speaker 1>Face eat all that tomato chicken.

0:42:49.239 --> 0:42:57.120
<v Speaker 2>I did, and I like it. Bory, do you want

0:42:57.120 --> 0:42:58.799
<v Speaker 2>to tell the people where they can find you and

0:42:58.800 --> 0:43:00.080
<v Speaker 2>what cool should you have going on?

0:43:00.760 --> 0:43:03.280
<v Speaker 1>You can find me a cool guy Jokes eighty seven

0:43:03.480 --> 0:43:06.080
<v Speaker 1>on Instagram.

0:43:05.040 --> 0:43:07.239
<v Speaker 2>And as always you can. You can follow me at

0:43:07.320 --> 0:43:11.000
<v Speaker 2>Langston Kerman and go subscribe to our YouTube hang Out

0:43:11.120 --> 0:43:15.920
<v Speaker 2>Bullshit whatever that is. And uh, all right, that's it, bye, bitch.

0:43:19.600 --> 0:43:26.320
<v Speaker 3>The government babies grow chips in your bees. All Kuala

0:43:26.360 --> 0:43:35.440
<v Speaker 3>bears are racist. The Old Slayer wholesale money many turkey stuff.

0:43:36.640 --> 0:43:37.600
<v Speaker 3>I can't tell me