1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:00,840 Speaker 1: This is cole Minor. 2 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 2: John, This is cole Miner Salm and we have been 3 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 2: digging for stories on the Okay Storytime podcast as long 4 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 2: as we can remember saying. 5 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 1: And we've found some diamonds of the rough, how don't we? John? 6 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 3: That's right. 7 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 2: But before we do that, we have to wade through 8 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 2: two more minutes of incredible ads from our sponsors keeping 9 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 2: us finding more great stories on this show. 10 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,799 Speaker 1: My wife isn't who I thought she was. I want 11 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: to leave. She's a secret agent. Hello there, I twenty 12 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: one female and my twenty eight female ex wife recently divorced, 13 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,879 Speaker 1: and boy do I have a story to share. So 14 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: I met my now ex wife back in twenty seventeen. 15 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 1: It was a whirlwind romance, as I had just recently 16 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:44,919 Speaker 1: escaped from a very harmful long term relationship and was 17 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 1: freshly single, while she was actually still in a serious 18 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 1: relationship herself with a man. But more on that later. 19 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: From this point forward, I refer to her as my ex. 20 00:00:56,400 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 1: S got a name for s. M said, name Sherry, Sherry. Sherry. 21 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:07,679 Speaker 1: You give with that cherry Sherry baby, right, Sherry? It is, 22 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 1: by the way, this comes from Midnight Mistress. And if 23 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: you want to spe your old stories, go to the 24 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 1: r slash Okay story time subread it. So when we 25 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:17,040 Speaker 1: first met, Sherry was a young woman in an extremely 26 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: rough living situation, start with the harmful ahole of a 27 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:24,040 Speaker 1: boyfriend and living in a very downtrodden conditions. She was 28 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,960 Speaker 1: a current substance user and smoked the Devil's lettice almost 29 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: as long as she was awake, meaning she was always 30 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 1: under the influence of something. We met via an app 31 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,400 Speaker 1: that encouraged people in the area of the same age 32 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: to meet whatepp was. 33 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 4: That could have been too many fish or plenty of fish, 34 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,680 Speaker 4: of many fish, probably too much fish out there. 35 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: When we first started talking, she expressed her frustration with 36 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: her current living situation and her need for a good 37 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: female friend to do some fun things with and to 38 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: get her out of the house. The first night I 39 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 1: met her, I showed up with food and siggs, so 40 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: she said she'd gone all day without eating and was starving. Y'all. 41 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 1: From the first moment I set eyes on this woman, 42 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 1: I knew she was going to be in my life 43 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: for a long time. She was absolutely gorgeous and kind 44 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 1: of shy, but in an endearing way. I immediately got 45 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: butterflies just after talking to her, but seeing she had 46 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,519 Speaker 1: a boyfriend who I was unsure of, I try to 47 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: be very wary of my feelings at first. 48 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 4: It's like as soon as she asked me to bring 49 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:30,240 Speaker 4: McDonald's and smokes, and knew she was the one. 50 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:34,959 Speaker 1: Fast forward about a week, me and Sherry are spending 51 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,240 Speaker 1: a lot of our free time together and finally have 52 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 1: an official date set up for her request. I knew 53 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 1: her and her boyfriend's relationship was in shambles and they 54 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: were only together now because of the living situation. I 55 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 1: was starting to get the feeling she was just into 56 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 1: me as I was into her. Well, we went on 57 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 1: her date. She looked so adorable and got all dressed 58 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 1: up and smelled amazing. I'll never forget it, and she 59 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 1: officially asked me to be her girlfriend. That I ended 60 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: back at her place, just the two of us, And yes, 61 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 1: I'm sure you can imagine everything that happened afterwards. I 62 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 1: have no idea they might smoke more sis. 63 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 5: And my parents haven't told me about that stuff yet. 64 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: And so it was set. She woke up with her 65 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 1: boyfriend and was with me. Now, how awesome. But the 66 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: hassle of getting her out of the house with her 67 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,519 Speaker 1: ex was a nightmare. I helped her through that without 68 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 1: question and was her shoulder to cry on. Within a 69 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 1: matter of a couple of weeks, I'd found a room 70 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,239 Speaker 1: to rent for the both of us so I could 71 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: get her to transition out of that living situation and 72 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: into a place with me. This was the only beginning 73 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 1: of our seven years together. Over the next nine months, 74 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 1: we battled life together. It was an extremely tough time 75 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 1: for the both of us because I was the only 76 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: one working full time and the only one paying bills 77 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: for a while. I was only twenty two to twenty 78 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 1: three at the time and still trying to piece together 79 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: my life after the last relationship I had, so times 80 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 1: were tough and money was very, very tight. We finally, 81 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 1: at the end of twenty seventeen, had her own apartment 82 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: with one roommate, and I had a new job that 83 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 1: provided a decent salary. Sherry was working at a fast 84 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 1: food gig at the time. Due to the progression of 85 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,919 Speaker 1: our relationship and the fact that Sherry had some serious 86 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:21,280 Speaker 1: health concerns I had only recently learned of, I was 87 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 1: in the process of trying to figure out health insurance 88 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 1: for us. It was around this time, also during tranche pregnancy, 89 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 1: the time most LGBTQ individuals feared for their rise as couples, 90 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 1: that Sherry started casually talking about marriage. Given the current 91 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: circumstances and the positive progression of our relationship, I was surprised, 92 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: but not completely opposed. Since I met this woman, I 93 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: had dream of a future with her, and now with 94 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: her suggesting this, I realized how serious she viewed our relationship. 95 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 1: My new job would also provide low cost health insurance 96 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 1: to my spouse because of their great benefits. At the 97 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: end of the day, the biggest reason I agreed with 98 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,920 Speaker 1: Sherry's idea was because I was so head over heels 99 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: for this woman that I couldn't imagine a life without her, 100 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:12,159 Speaker 1: even the possibility of experience her being my wife, just 101 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: to be able to call her that brought me so 102 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 1: much joy and pride. So she's get married now, and 103 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,040 Speaker 1: it seems like they've been together for how long? Like 104 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 1: maybe a year? Nine months? 105 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 5: Yeah, probably around a year. 106 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,039 Speaker 4: But they went through all that getting her out of 107 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 4: the you know, her previous relationship. 108 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:30,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, that seems a little fast. Everything seems pretty fast. 109 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 5: Two weeks is fast, real fast. 110 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,640 Speaker 1: She was clean, had it done substances in almost a year, 111 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: and rarely drank within less than a year of knowing me. 112 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: She was in a safe living environment, living her life 113 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 1: and rediscovering hobbies. So many positive things that had happened 114 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: since we met each other. There was only one way 115 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 1: to go, and that was up right. So in January 116 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:57,840 Speaker 1: we got married. 117 00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,360 Speaker 5: Okay, he congratulations. 118 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, less than a year into the relationship and we 119 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 1: were at the courthouse with two witnesses to get hitched. 120 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:11,039 Speaker 1: It was honestly one of the happiest moments of my life. 121 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: I remember even the baristas at the coffee shop that 122 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,600 Speaker 1: day gave us free coffee to help celebrate two young 123 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: women getting married. Wow. I felt like such a victory 124 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,920 Speaker 1: for us as a couple and all the LGBT couples 125 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,719 Speaker 1: we knew at the time. Neither of our families approved 126 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 1: of our relationship. Mine had basically disowned me years ago 127 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,599 Speaker 1: after I came out in college, but we chose not 128 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,040 Speaker 1: to care and did what our hearts wanted to. Our 129 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 1: marriage was full of ups and downs. We never had 130 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,719 Speaker 1: lots of money. In fact, we pretty much lived paycheck 131 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 1: to paycheck. However, we got to a point where we 132 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 1: were comfortable both of us working and contributing to our 133 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: lives together. I received a very devastating health diagnosis within 134 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 1: the first year of our marriage, and Sharey was right 135 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:59,120 Speaker 1: there beside me, the widow, nursing me back to help 136 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 1: and accompanying me to every appointment and procedure that took place. 137 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,400 Speaker 1: Over that time. We got through debt together, helping each 138 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,560 Speaker 1: other become financially stable and paying off things from our 139 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 1: past lives that were hindering our growth as a couple. Hey, 140 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: I like this. It seems pretty good. 141 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 4: It seems like yeah, uh, growing together be good. 142 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. I hate these like health concerns they got going 143 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 1: on left and right. 144 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I'm starting to really wonder. Yeah who 145 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 4: his wife is? 146 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 1: Her wife? Her? Yeah, I'm also. 147 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 5: Her wife is I'm not totally sure. 148 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 1: I totally forgot the title. I'm just like, everything's going good. 149 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 4: My wife's not who I thought she was. Is there 150 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 4: gonna be a new man in the mix? Mm? 151 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,960 Speaker 1: Not a whoa man? Uh? Just a man? 152 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 5: Just a yeah, just a man. 153 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,600 Speaker 1: We had dreams of moving somewhere new together and maybe 154 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 1: possibly even starting a family. Even I managed to save 155 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 1: up for a couple's vacation that we took together, not 156 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: too far away places, but places she's never been. I 157 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 1: shared my life with her and tak her things about 158 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 1: the adult world she had never known before. I kind 159 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 1: of file taxes, open a credit card, and make appointments, 160 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: et cetera. 161 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 5: Well, you thought that was gonna be a little more interesting. 162 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 1: Dude, I thought it was gonna be like a rock 163 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: paper scissor kind of thing. 164 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 4: I think everyone learns how to play rock paper scissors 165 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 4: by the time. 166 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,679 Speaker 1: They're five, not the adult version. 167 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,240 Speaker 5: Oh, definitely add dynam saying it. 168 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 6: Never mind, I'm not gonna say it. 169 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 5: Rock paper scissors dynamite. 170 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: I was raised by a single mother who was extremely 171 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: savvy with all these things, and saw it as an 172 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 1: opportunity to help Sherry grow in these ways too. Needless 173 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 1: to say, we had an adventuress. While challenging at times 174 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,200 Speaker 1: life together, the only issue we never faced as a 175 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 1: couple was trust. Early in our relationship, right before we 176 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 1: got married, I caught Sherry singing noodles and flirty text 177 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: messages with an old friend of hers. Through lots of 178 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 1: conversation and pleading on her and I forgave the incident 179 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 1: and decided to go through with the marriage as planned, 180 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 1: trusting that she would do as she said and never 181 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:11,680 Speaker 1: speak to this person or do anything like that again. Okay, 182 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 1: forward through our marriage, and there were a few slip 183 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 1: ups of honesty by her, including her having friends over 184 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: without my permission, messaging men I didn't know, and other 185 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 1: small occurrences, nothing like the original incident that had made 186 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:34,959 Speaker 1: me lose trust mmmm that could be perceived as she 187 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: did MMM. I figured over the years that she was 188 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,680 Speaker 1: making the changes and altering her behavior in ways that 189 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,959 Speaker 1: would build my trust instead of breaking it all over again. 190 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,320 Speaker 1: I wanted to trust her, and with time I did. 191 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: Several years into our marriage and we were so focused 192 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,600 Speaker 1: on my health and building our lives together that I 193 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:59,319 Speaker 1: didn't think she even did those things anymore. Fast forward again, 194 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 1: about two years ago. It started out about five years 195 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,880 Speaker 1: into our marriage that I was suspicious something wasn't right. 196 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: We've been growing strong as a couple, but we kind 197 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 1: of stalled out our progress financially. We were both working 198 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 1: full time and contributing as always. There was no progress, 199 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 1: just stability. So they're probably still going to paycheck to 200 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 1: paycheck well, I mean. 201 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:25,680 Speaker 4: You could be stable without being paycheck to paycheck. 202 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 1: Well, I'm assuming that they're both working full time. They 203 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: may have like talk about let's save this much, let's 204 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,560 Speaker 1: do this. I think it's after five years. Got funny money. 205 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 1: That's what's going on here. 206 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 4: Someone's got some funny money, and I wonder where it's going. 207 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 4: I wonder what kind of funny business it's funding. 208 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 1: Something we were starting to have issues with was our 209 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:51,640 Speaker 1: spicy sleep what folks on Reddit call it now? Mind you. 210 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:57,200 Speaker 1: During our early relationship, we had experimented in many ways together. 211 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,880 Speaker 1: Being in a female female relationship, I introduced her to 212 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: many things she never experienced before that brought her so 213 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: much satisfaction. To speak, rock paper scissors, That's what I 214 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,679 Speaker 1: was talking about. I had been out much longer than 215 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:13,280 Speaker 1: her and been with other women, whereas I was the 216 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 1: only female in the relationship. Sherry had ever done it 217 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 1: but before we had fun together. But over the years 218 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 1: that changed and Sherry seemed to be losing interest in 219 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 1: that aspect of our relationship. 220 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,120 Speaker 4: I mean, well, to be fair, you can only play 221 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 4: rock paper scissors so many times before you start getting a. 222 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:31,720 Speaker 1: Little It's the love of the game. 223 00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 5: Sure, but I mean, are they you know they. 224 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 1: Absolutely love tractor pulling. That's my favorite thing to do, 225 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: and I'm always going to tract a pull. I'm not 226 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 1: gonna start out and go darking. 227 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,680 Speaker 4: I can't even hang with this, with this, with this talk, 228 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,120 Speaker 4: I don't know what you're talking about. 229 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:50,200 Speaker 1: I did what I could to keep the spark alive, 230 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 1: trips to the Spicy sleep store, new positions to try, 231 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 1: et cetera, and even offered things slightly outside of my 232 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 1: comfort zone to please her. I would have done about 233 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: anything to keep this woman happy. She was my everything. Wow. 234 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,359 Speaker 1: But it got to the point where we were scheduling 235 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 1: the time and I was always the one to initiate 236 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,840 Speaker 1: anything with her. Then one afternoon, the truth came out 237 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,839 Speaker 1: and my life was changed forever. It was only two 238 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 1: days from our birthday, and I had noticed we hadn't 239 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 1: planned to do anything yet to celebrate. Our families were 240 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 1: still very distant at the time. I had it spoken 241 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: to my sister in over eight years since she cut 242 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 1: me off when I came out. So Sherry and I 243 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 1: always tried to go really big on the holidays for 244 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:37,560 Speaker 1: each other. We were all we really needed and had 245 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:41,880 Speaker 1: at most times. The days started out normally, but as usual, 246 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,880 Speaker 1: Sherry was on her phone. Almost twenty four seven, Sherry 247 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 1: had recently gotten seriously addicted to several online games and 248 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 1: was always either chatting with a fellow player or taking 249 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 1: part in group activities in her games. At this point, 250 00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:59,959 Speaker 1: she was spending ninety percent of the time on her 251 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,199 Speaker 1: her phone and it drove me crazy and it was 252 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:06,200 Speaker 1: a constant point of contention with us. I made a 253 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 1: comment about it again on this day. In the events 254 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:13,960 Speaker 1: that ensued blew my world apart. Dakota, are we playing 255 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 1: games on this phone? 256 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 4: I mean she's playing games, for sure, just not the 257 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 4: kind of go beat boop you know, She's playing games, 258 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 4: emotional games. 259 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:27,479 Speaker 1: Ooh yeah. Sherriet had been seriously considering her spicy related 260 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 1: allity for a long time. 261 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 7: YEA. 262 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,560 Speaker 1: All of a sudden, she revealed to me that she 263 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 1: wasn't a saffig and that she was fine. 264 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:38,719 Speaker 5: Yeah. 265 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,160 Speaker 1: I wasn't too surprised, as I knew her relationship history 266 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 1: and what she was into spicy related. I told her 267 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 1: I was okay and that I understood, But she went 268 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:53,559 Speaker 1: one step further to admit she'd been wanting a relationship 269 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 1: with the man again and wanted me to allow her 270 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 1: to date men now she missed certain things about being 271 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 1: with a man and wanted to seek out a new relationship. 272 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 1: I was shocked. How was all of this related to 273 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 1: her being on her phone so much? Sherry always made 274 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,960 Speaker 1: rude comments about men since her last boyfriend and expressed 275 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 1: that she was glad she didn't have to date men anymore, 276 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,440 Speaker 1: and how discussions she found them. 277 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 4: Well, I think she was starting to that all that 278 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 4: time she was spending on her phone was time she 279 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 4: was spending rediscovering her desires for the men. 280 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 1: For the men parts. Is it sort of like you 281 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: men are disgusting or like men are horrific? Which one 282 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,360 Speaker 1: is it? It's like Dakota, stop, you're so mean, get 283 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 1: out of here? Or was it light Dakota like till 284 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,000 Speaker 1: the f out man come on? Which one is it? 285 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,400 Speaker 1: Which one is it? There's there is a difference there. 286 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,120 Speaker 4: Well, I think this is something that should have been really, 287 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 4: really really talked about at the very beginning. 288 00:14:54,960 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 1: Oh, like noodles, maybe that would have been that for that. 289 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,080 Speaker 4: Literally, like this needed to be ironed out, like as 290 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 4: soon as you go from like all right, she's uh, 291 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 4: you know, she's in this abusive relationship with your ex 292 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 4: boyfriend and they break up, and it's like, you know, 293 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:16,040 Speaker 4: can that influence her thought decisions or you know whatever 294 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 4: her feelings of being like I don't want to date 295 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 4: a man ever again. 296 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:21,120 Speaker 5: Like of course, like that could influence that decision. But 297 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,480 Speaker 5: you know, there's. 298 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 4: Shit and there, and maybe there was maybe they did 299 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 4: have a conversation at the being in the relationship. She's like, so, 300 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,280 Speaker 4: what what are you feeling? She's like, I don't feel 301 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 4: like I'll ever date man ever again. 302 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 1: Wow. 303 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 4: And then but if you do get to a point 304 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,160 Speaker 4: where you're like, I mean I feel like maybe I 305 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 4: don't like I'm not lesbian like I or you know, 306 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:44,200 Speaker 4: this arrangement, you know, it just sounds like y'all were anywhere. 307 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: Near ready to get married. Yeah, they really. They rushed 308 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 1: everything so quickly, like living together getting married under a year. 309 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 4: And that really if you're still not you know, and 310 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:57,640 Speaker 4: it's it's just hard because we're we're we're filling in. 311 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 5: A lot of gaps here. 312 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, but it is. 313 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 5: It's something that can happen. 314 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 4: If it does, the only way you can really deal 315 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 4: with it is to move through it with like honesty 316 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 4: and just openness and being like, hello, this is what's up. 317 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 1: It seems like we're doing that, OPI says. I considered 318 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 1: her request, even going as far as to ask her 319 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 1: to give me a few days to process what had 320 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:23,239 Speaker 1: happened and to contemplate her request. I did not immediately 321 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 1: shut her down. Yes, she is my wife, but as 322 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,960 Speaker 1: I said, I was willing to do about anything to 323 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,480 Speaker 1: make her happy. At this point, I loved her more 324 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 1: than I've ever loved anything. We had come so far together. 325 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 1: Mind you, over these years together, Erry had become the 326 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: very version of herself I always knew she could be. 327 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 1: She dressed very classy, took better care of herself, focused 328 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 1: on hygiene and mental health, knew how to take care 329 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,520 Speaker 1: of herself financially, all the things she had learned during 330 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 1: our time together. I was very proud of her progress. 331 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:58,120 Speaker 1: So I took a couple of days, even consulting my grandmother, 332 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 1: who I had a very rocking relafelationship with at the time, 333 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,360 Speaker 1: on advice of what to do. I love Sherry more 334 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:08,240 Speaker 1: than anything, but I was willing to let another individual 335 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:12,399 Speaker 1: into a relationship, especially a man. I dated men a 336 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 1: lot throughout my early years, but had long since decided 337 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 1: I preferred women and was not at all interested in 338 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:21,560 Speaker 1: a relationship with a man. And on another note, I 339 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,240 Speaker 1: was willing to share my gorgeous and amazing wife with 340 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:28,639 Speaker 1: someone else. Heck, no, I respect those who choose polly lifestyle, 341 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 1: but that's not for me. I am fiercely monogamous. Not 342 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,879 Speaker 1: to mention all the vows that Sherry made to me 343 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:40,800 Speaker 1: the day we got married. I took those vows extremely serious, 344 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: and I thought she did too. 345 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:45,280 Speaker 4: I mean, she and she could have at the time. 346 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:48,400 Speaker 4: You know, that's the crazy people change, you know. I mean, 347 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,160 Speaker 4: she really could have felt like that was real. Who 348 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 4: knows how much she's influenced, like it could be that 349 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,360 Speaker 4: it could be. There's been some comments that have suggested, like, well, 350 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,680 Speaker 4: she's doing the same thing she did with her previous relationship, 351 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,960 Speaker 4: and she's she's setting up the next one. She's getting 352 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 4: it in line so that she can jump from month 353 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:06,720 Speaker 4: she ran out to the next one. And that's you 354 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 4: know why she's been on her phone the whole time. 355 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 4: But the key is if you as soon as you 356 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:10,960 Speaker 4: start feeling this, you can't be on your phone ninety 357 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,120 Speaker 4: percent of the time. No you have to like, go, Hey, 358 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,159 Speaker 4: I had the hardest thought ever today. Yeah, this is 359 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,960 Speaker 4: gonna be rough, but we have to talk about it. 360 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 4: I don't know if this is gonna work. 361 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, or exactly. 362 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 5: So it does feel a little like agree jump shippy. 363 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, it really does so, needless to say. After much 364 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,960 Speaker 1: thought and those wise words of wisdom from Grandma, I 365 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,840 Speaker 1: decided I could not agree to Sherry's request. I did 366 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 1: not want a relationship with anyone else, and I truly 367 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 1: wish I could be the one that she needed. We 368 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:46,400 Speaker 1: went through my birthday with binders on me, deciding to 369 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:49,440 Speaker 1: just ignore the current situation and enjoy my special day, 370 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,399 Speaker 1: and Sherry acting as if nothing had happened. But that 371 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,920 Speaker 1: night I told the truth. I couldn't imagine life any 372 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 1: different than it already was, and I was happy, but 373 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,560 Speaker 1: that things things were. This is what I wanted, and 374 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,600 Speaker 1: yet she didn't feel the same. It was then that 375 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 1: I learned another truth to this tell. Cherry had been 376 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,679 Speaker 1: communicating for several months now with one of her teammates 377 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,120 Speaker 1: on her online game, This man she didn't know from 378 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 1: a country across the world from us, yet they'd been 379 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,919 Speaker 1: flirting and messaging. Now it wasn't just the fact that 380 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,159 Speaker 1: she was questioning her spisuality, but the truth that she 381 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,040 Speaker 1: had been going behind my back and talking to people 382 00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 1: she didn't even know in a flirty way. I was fuming. 383 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,880 Speaker 1: All those years we've been married up to this point, 384 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,719 Speaker 1: I thought that she left that part of herself behind. 385 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,520 Speaker 1: Sherry had always had a flirty personality, which is one 386 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 1: thing that attracted me to her. But after years of marriage, 387 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:49,120 Speaker 1: I thought she'd saved those things for me and finally 388 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 1: stopped seeking others attention. Boy was I wrong? See whatchard 389 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:55,320 Speaker 1: did there? Boy? 390 00:19:56,240 --> 00:20:02,959 Speaker 7: Because it's yeah right boy, with this confession, I was 391 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 7: floored on my birthday of old days, Yeah, dude, on 392 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:07,120 Speaker 7: the birthday. 393 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,360 Speaker 4: Dang, that's like almost as bad as like on Valentine's Day? 394 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 5: Or is that worse? 395 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:15,760 Speaker 1: Worse worse? Everyone gets to celebrate Valentine's Day, only you 396 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 1: get to celebrate your first day. Yeah. 397 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 5: It does kind of put a damper on the day, Dah. 398 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,159 Speaker 1: I had to tell Sherry things were done and I 399 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,159 Speaker 1: couldn't do this anymore and we needed a break. I 400 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,200 Speaker 1: told her she didn't need to move out right away, 401 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,679 Speaker 1: that I would find my own place in time, and 402 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 1: that she was free to do whatever she wanted. The 403 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: only thing I requested was that she wait until we 404 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 1: were completely separated before starting activities on seeing anyone. I 405 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:43,280 Speaker 1: didn't want strangers in our apartment or worse, someone else 406 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:47,200 Speaker 1: in our bed. She agreed to my terms all too readily, 407 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,560 Speaker 1: as if this was some type of ticket to freedom 408 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:54,880 Speaker 1: for her. In the days that followed, I completely lost myself. 409 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,720 Speaker 1: I wept in bed, drank too much, called Grandma almost daily, 410 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: and began internet search or new apartments. The devastation that 411 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 1: my marriage was over completely floored me, and yet Sherry 412 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:11,080 Speaker 1: hadn't so much as apologized for anything that had happened 413 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:15,440 Speaker 1: up until this point. She somehow seemed excited to have 414 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 1: this new found freedom she got. 415 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:17,480 Speaker 7: Yeah. 416 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,720 Speaker 1: In fact, I don't even remember seeing her shed a 417 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 1: tear once I told her it was over. 418 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, because she because it's been over for her for 419 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:24,760 Speaker 4: probably months. 420 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:25,399 Speaker 5: At this point. 421 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:29,080 Speaker 1: Her risidal request had been one thing, but her admitting 422 00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:32,480 Speaker 1: to being unfaithful and messaging guys again behind my back 423 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,200 Speaker 1: was enough to break me. All the trust I thought 424 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,119 Speaker 1: we'd build over the years was completely destroyed, and I 425 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,160 Speaker 1: had no idea how to move forward after this detour 426 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,679 Speaker 1: had been thrown into my path. Over the next two weeks, 427 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 1: I ended up moving in with my grandparents. They were 428 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,280 Speaker 1: my absolute rock through this whole situation and opened up 429 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,679 Speaker 1: their house to me without question, even after all the 430 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,000 Speaker 1: tourmoil since I had come out. I ended up living 431 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 1: in their guest room for almost eight months after the split, 432 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 1: rent free, due to their generosity and unconditional love. During 433 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 1: the early stages of our separation, I was still returning 434 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 1: every few days to the apartment I'd shared with Sherry 435 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,919 Speaker 1: in order to pack my things and look after our pets. 436 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,199 Speaker 1: We had three young guinea pigs at the time that 437 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:21,160 Speaker 1: needed constant attention on that's cute. Sherry was never home. 438 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 1: She left things around the apartment that made it obvious 439 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:29,399 Speaker 1: she was already seeing someone lingerie beard oil and other people's. 440 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,119 Speaker 5: Clothes, and you're just rubbing it in. 441 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:37,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, So I immediately knew our pect had been broken. 442 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,000 Speaker 1: Of course, how can I expect that she'd be trustworthy 443 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:44,880 Speaker 1: after the biggest breach of trust had already occurred. When 444 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 1: I confronted Sherry with my knowledge as she was having 445 00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: men over at the apartment, she somehow flipped the script 446 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:54,639 Speaker 1: on me made it seem like I was the encroaching 447 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 1: one on her happiness, that it was her choice on 448 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 1: how to be happy, and as she was shoesy this lifestyle. 449 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,920 Speaker 1: Hence why she never apologized for into our marriage since 450 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 1: she was simply choosing another lifestyle and who was I 451 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:10,640 Speaker 1: to stand in her way? 452 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 4: What an absolutely goober brained take to be like, Actually, morally, 453 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,720 Speaker 4: I don't need to empathize with you just because you're 454 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:22,440 Speaker 4: my ex wife. I'm actually gonna just like openly flaunt 455 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 4: the new people I'm I'm with now in front of you. 456 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 1: No respect at all, I see none. 457 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,439 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna care zero percent that we were married 458 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:32,679 Speaker 4: for what eight years? 459 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:33,280 Speaker 1: Yeah? 460 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:33,879 Speaker 7: Uh? 461 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 4: And actually yeah, and actually morally, I don't need to 462 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 4: be empathize. What a goober rock brain take. 463 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,520 Speaker 1: This is one believable. I was officially out of the 464 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,440 Speaker 1: apartment at this point. The management at the complex had 465 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,640 Speaker 1: known us for a long time, and when I told 466 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 1: them the situation, they were very willing to let me 467 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 1: sign the lease over to her and relieve myself of 468 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:58,840 Speaker 1: any current responsibility. And thank the goodness of the Gods, 469 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:02,119 Speaker 1: since within a month of Lee, the management was contacting 470 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 1: Sherry to let her know rent was overdue. We had 471 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 1: never had overdue rent since once in the four years 472 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 1: we lived there. Pretty sure she actually ended up getting 473 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:15,920 Speaker 1: evicted from that apartment. Shortly after we were separated. Our 474 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,240 Speaker 1: small group of mutual friends was completely shocked by our separation. 475 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,240 Speaker 1: A small amount of details I'd shared with them left 476 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 1: them gobsmacked, although some of them weren't actually too surprised. 477 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:29,280 Speaker 1: One mutual friend even admitted that Sherry had tried to 478 00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 1: kiss him recently and he felt extremely confused by the situation, 479 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 1: another fact that infuriating me but wasn't too surprising. I 480 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:40,160 Speaker 1: now realized Sherry may have been going behind my back 481 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 1: for a while without my knowledge. Sherry was able not 482 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:47,640 Speaker 1: only to lose her wife, but gain an almost immediate 483 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 1: boyfriend within all about him on's time, while I was 484 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,720 Speaker 1: still crying over my perfect marriage being ruined, she was 485 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 1: having men over to the apartment regularly and even had 486 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: one move in with her, which I only knews since 487 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,120 Speaker 1: I was still getting mail alerts for the old apartment. 488 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,679 Speaker 1: It was at this point I knew, just like with 489 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,640 Speaker 1: her last relationship, just like she'd been done with him, 490 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 1: he had punted her own wife to the curb to 491 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:14,920 Speaker 1: jump into bed with someone new. 492 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,879 Speaker 4: Yeah, but that you know, it's been in the works 493 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:22,280 Speaker 4: for a long time. At that point, I wouldn't even 494 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 4: give her like, well, she did it in a month. 495 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:24,879 Speaker 4: It's like she's been doing. 496 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:25,919 Speaker 5: It for months and months and months. 497 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:29,080 Speaker 1: She was, Yeah, she was. She did this before you 498 00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:30,120 Speaker 1: lose them, how you get them? 499 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:35,720 Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, it seems, you know, very suspect that 500 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:40,160 Speaker 4: this This could be that I cut contact completely within 501 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,119 Speaker 4: that first month, but then began the long process of 502 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:44,520 Speaker 4: separating everything from her. 503 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,120 Speaker 1: We didn't share a bank account, thank goodness, Oh wow, 504 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:51,879 Speaker 1: thank you. I'm extremely careful with money and she isn't, thankfully. 505 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:55,800 Speaker 1: But everything else, as far as insurance, electricity, phone bills 506 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,720 Speaker 1: was both in our names. I immediately changed the electricity, 507 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 1: figuring if she was so determined she didn't need me anymore, 508 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,160 Speaker 1: then I don't have to pay your bills. I immediately 509 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:07,400 Speaker 1: find out she had a pass do notice on the electricity, 510 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,560 Speaker 1: which I also paid in order to close the account. 511 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,639 Speaker 1: She also had a phone, which I paid for. I 512 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,159 Speaker 1: wanted her several times of the course of two months 513 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,080 Speaker 1: that she wouldn't need to create her own phone account 514 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:22,480 Speaker 1: and to continue paying for service, and she never complied, 515 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,600 Speaker 1: so in the end, her phone was temporarily shut off. 516 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,640 Speaker 1: In the end, I paid well over six hundred dollars 517 00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:32,160 Speaker 1: for her in fees in order to get everything out 518 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,320 Speaker 1: of both of our names. I never asked her for 519 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,720 Speaker 1: a cent, seeing I knew she couldn't afford it and 520 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,760 Speaker 1: just wanted all ties to be caught off at this point. Yeah, 521 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,600 Speaker 1: sometimes you just got to pay a little extra to. 522 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 5: Be yeah with it, one hundred percent agree. 523 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:48,879 Speaker 4: And it's this all of that just like again, I 524 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,439 Speaker 4: think is more evident that she's just kind of like 525 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:55,520 Speaker 4: a very flippant individual. Yeah, she's just like, oh wait, yeah, 526 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:58,120 Speaker 4: we just get married, right, whatever, We'll just do it 527 00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,879 Speaker 4: all right. It's like, well, yeah, oh what the the phone? 528 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 4: Yeah whatever. Everything is just yeah one. 529 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,640 Speaker 1: A time, dude. Yeah, Like I'm gonna go do this now, 530 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:08,919 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be with women. Now I'm gonna be with men. 531 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: I wonder what her. 532 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,240 Speaker 4: Moment was after they you know, I mean she was 533 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 4: probably even before they were married. 534 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I wonder what it was the. 535 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:19,359 Speaker 4: Moment where she was like, guys seem like a good option. 536 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,120 Speaker 4: Right now, She's probably been with guys this whole time, we're. 537 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 5: Like, maybe like talking with them, who know? I mean 538 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 5: seven years a long time could be. 539 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,399 Speaker 1: I mean she was doing this, she almost kissed a 540 00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:32,040 Speaker 1: mutual friend. 541 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:35,280 Speaker 5: A mutual friends not say anything thing so ridiculous. 542 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,600 Speaker 1: We had been separated for well over six months when 543 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,280 Speaker 1: I was still finding other bills that were in both 544 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,640 Speaker 1: of our names or had my bank account info attached 545 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,800 Speaker 1: to them. This is entire time Sherry is sending me 546 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,439 Speaker 1: nasty text on how could I tree her this way? 547 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,919 Speaker 1: And if I don't stop contacting her about stupid crap, 548 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:58,600 Speaker 1: she'll block me. Our relationship had gone a complete one 549 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,040 Speaker 1: eighty at this point. No longer was I the one 550 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,840 Speaker 1: supporting her and helping her. Now she saw me as 551 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,760 Speaker 1: the one standing in her way, so I quickly got 552 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,000 Speaker 1: out of it. By the way, you can quickly go 553 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,760 Speaker 1: to your next story from Okay Storytime. All you gotta 554 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,440 Speaker 1: do is go to your favorite podcast platform Apple, Spotify, 555 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 1: iHeart Radio, search her Bokue story Time, and boom as 556 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:19,960 Speaker 1: fast as you can say, Okay, Storytime is the best 557 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 1: podcast in the world. I love it so much. You 558 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 1: can have your next. 559 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,640 Speaker 5: Story plan yeah, and you can say that real quick 560 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 5: if you pay it hear it. 561 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:28,560 Speaker 1: Okay, story Time is the best podcast in the world. 562 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 1: I love it so much. All right, I gotta pulled 563 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:35,479 Speaker 1: up boom. So back to the story now. As of 564 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,600 Speaker 1: this day, we are one month divorced. The process was 565 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 1: longer than I wanted it to be, but in the end, 566 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,160 Speaker 1: like with everything else, it was all up to me. 567 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,920 Speaker 1: Despite Sherry's very adamant choice that she was never the 568 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,800 Speaker 1: one that divorced me and this was her choice, I 569 00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:51,720 Speaker 1: end up being the one that had to go through 570 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,680 Speaker 1: the courts and officially request a divorce. I feel like 571 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,800 Speaker 1: she didn't even show up at the court. I paid 572 00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,800 Speaker 1: all the fees involved on my own and attended every 573 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:03,400 Speaker 1: conference and hearing to drudge through this long process of divorce, 574 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:07,640 Speaker 1: and all Sherry had to do was sign a dotted line. 575 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,480 Speaker 5: Well, maybe I want to sign a solid line. 576 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:14,400 Speaker 1: In reflection, I'm extremely upset with Sherry, and yet I 577 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:17,520 Speaker 1: can still find some room in my heart to forgive her. 578 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:21,040 Speaker 1: But the heartbreak she caused me will forever be left 579 00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,160 Speaker 1: to stain on my heart. I loved her more than 580 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 1: any person. She taught me patience, resilience, and loved me 581 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:30,360 Speaker 1: more than anyone had ever before, and In the end, 582 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,720 Speaker 1: she tore me apart completely and moved on as if 583 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 1: I was just another chapter in the book. So please 584 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,840 Speaker 1: read it folk. Let me know what am I supposed 585 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,440 Speaker 1: to think now? Oh my gosh, wait, WHOA, that's a 586 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:45,480 Speaker 1: crazy question. I know this story was long winded, and 587 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:49,560 Speaker 1: I apologize, but as a romantic sapphic in today's culture, 588 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 1: losing love like this is something most of us LGBT 589 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 1: folk here the most. I am doing exceptionally well now, 590 00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,720 Speaker 1: but still have a hard time sometimes thinking my future. 591 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,120 Speaker 1: After experiencing the love I thought I'd never find and 592 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,280 Speaker 1: then having it in like this, what else is left 593 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:07,560 Speaker 1: for me? 594 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 7: Day? 595 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:11,720 Speaker 4: Dude? I got like a I don't know if it's 596 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 4: a boot, I don't know what proverb it is, but 597 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:17,160 Speaker 4: it's like, the pain you feel now is the happiness 598 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:18,160 Speaker 4: you felt before? 599 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 5: Wow, that's the deal. It's you know, takes rain and 600 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 5: sunshine to make a rainbow. 601 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,880 Speaker 4: Everyone's afraid of falling in love and then losing it. 602 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:28,680 Speaker 1: It's just it's terrible. 603 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,120 Speaker 5: It's horrible. 604 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:34,720 Speaker 4: It's one of the great, unifying, terrible human experiences and 605 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:35,720 Speaker 4: we all go through. 606 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:36,280 Speaker 1: Uh. 607 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,440 Speaker 4: You know, at the end of the day, I think 608 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,480 Speaker 4: that while you love this person. Maybe they never really 609 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,280 Speaker 4: reflected it back the way you think they did. 610 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:48,840 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think a lot of people go through their 611 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,600 Speaker 1: first love and it is devastating. They don't want to 612 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,479 Speaker 1: lose it. I remember that I didn't want to lose it. 613 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,320 Speaker 1: I didn't want to No one wants. 614 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 6: Them to do that. 615 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,560 Speaker 1: But right now you're divorced, You're going through a horrible 616 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,760 Speaker 1: breakup that you've been with someone for seven years. I 617 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,120 Speaker 1: can't even think about that. It's gonna take time for 618 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,560 Speaker 1: you to believe that you deserve love, because right now 619 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 1: on Op thinks she does deserve love and that this 620 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,680 Speaker 1: is her fate forever. That's not the case. There's someone 621 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 1: out there. 622 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 5: Sam here. 623 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three 624 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:15,720 Speaker 2: of it's bads from our sponsors. 625 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 8: My friend left me in a foreign country without anything 626 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:20,840 Speaker 8: to get home. 627 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,360 Speaker 1: Looks like you need to get an uber overseas uber 628 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:25,160 Speaker 1: they sell them. 629 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:29,960 Speaker 8: This is from the r slash Okay storytime subredits our own. 630 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:30,760 Speaker 3: This is one of our own. 631 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,000 Speaker 8: I twenty seven female at the time, was in a 632 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:37,400 Speaker 8: graduate program and befriended Kim twenty six female. We had 633 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,800 Speaker 8: known each other previously while doing our undergrad at the 634 00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:43,880 Speaker 8: same time a university where we were now completing our masters. 635 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,280 Speaker 8: Kim and I became super close over the course of 636 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,840 Speaker 8: two years in our first couple of years of grad school. 637 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,360 Speaker 8: By the way, this comes from a gingery kitten and 638 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:52,840 Speaker 8: if you want to submit your own stories, go to 639 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,920 Speaker 8: the r slash Okay storytime sepredit. So it felt so 640 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:57,880 Speaker 8: good to be able to lean on someone who understood 641 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,200 Speaker 8: what I was going through, juggling school, a job, in 642 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:00,840 Speaker 8: a social life. 643 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,240 Speaker 3: We connected on a level I had never felt before. 644 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:05,560 Speaker 8: She was passionate about the same topics I was, and 645 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 8: we paired up on multiple assignments while in classes together. 646 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:12,880 Speaker 8: Now here comes the incident. This was during peak pandemic time. 647 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,200 Speaker 8: Kim and I were in a group with three other people. 648 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,160 Speaker 8: We'll call them A, B and C for a class project. 649 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:20,120 Speaker 1: Given names, well. 650 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:27,280 Speaker 8: We'll say Anne Bailey and Casey right and Bailey and 651 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,680 Speaker 8: Casey and Bailey. 652 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:29,280 Speaker 3: And Casey Okay. 653 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:33,240 Speaker 8: Anne and Bailey were in a relationship and Kim was 654 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,560 Speaker 8: somewhat close to them as well. Our professor loved our 655 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,040 Speaker 8: work so much that we were recommended to present our 656 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,720 Speaker 8: research at our estate's therapy conference that went very smoothly. 657 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,280 Speaker 8: Then Anne and Bailey found another conference where we could present, 658 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,720 Speaker 8: this time out of the country. I had never been 659 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:50,719 Speaker 8: to this country before, but had always wanted to go. 660 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,440 Speaker 8: Now I had the opportunity to share my research with 661 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,920 Speaker 8: other inspiring professionals. And and Bailey planned out the trip 662 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,360 Speaker 8: for us and just relay the total amount we each 663 00:32:59,400 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 8: needed to pay. 664 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,840 Speaker 3: This is where I messed up. 665 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,560 Speaker 8: I thought I could trust their judgment in setting up 666 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,560 Speaker 8: our travel plans. I should have asked for details when 667 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,000 Speaker 8: we'd have time to eat and sleep, what the travel 668 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,280 Speaker 8: protocols were during that time due to the VID. 669 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,400 Speaker 3: So we sent out on the trip right off the bat. 670 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,840 Speaker 8: I was super tired since we had a late night 671 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:19,680 Speaker 8: flight and I can't sleep on planes. 672 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:21,320 Speaker 3: The flight took about eight hours. 673 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 8: We were served a meal and I had brought snacks, 674 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 8: but by the time that we deborded and went to 675 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,920 Speaker 8: our airbnb I was starving. However, we couldn't eat until 676 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,720 Speaker 8: lunchtime because we had to check in first. That first night. 677 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,520 Speaker 8: At our B and b, there were two queen beds 678 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 8: and a single bed. I was running on zero sleep 679 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,840 Speaker 8: while everyone else had been able to sleep on the flight, 680 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,040 Speaker 8: so I asked for the single bed, hoping to get 681 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:45,960 Speaker 8: a bit more rest. Now this wasn't a legit bed, 682 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,320 Speaker 8: more like a glorified lounging couch. 683 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 3: It had only a thin sheet and the place was 684 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:52,240 Speaker 3: pretty cold. 685 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,680 Speaker 8: We realized there were no extra blankets, so I spent 686 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:56,200 Speaker 8: the night freezing. 687 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 1: My butt off. 688 00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,480 Speaker 8: The next day we presented at the conference and that 689 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 8: part went smoothly, but we had to spend one more 690 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:04,880 Speaker 8: night at our cold B and B with no blankets 691 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,960 Speaker 8: for me. Then we finally started touring, and again there 692 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,239 Speaker 8: wasn't much time set aside for proper meals. Breakfast, lunch, 693 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,400 Speaker 8: and dinner were rushed, and we barely had time to 694 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,040 Speaker 8: stop for snacks. Since we had timed tours, we had 695 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,600 Speaker 8: to check in on our schedule or risks missing them. 696 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,920 Speaker 8: At this point I was running on little sleep, hardly 697 00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:23,920 Speaker 8: any food, and sheer exhaustion. Then we arrived at our 698 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,160 Speaker 8: last B and B and discovered the hot water heater 699 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:28,399 Speaker 8: had stopped working as soon as one of us went 700 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 8: to take a shower. The place was already small and cramped. 701 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,600 Speaker 8: It was an old city, so I understood that the 702 00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,040 Speaker 8: water system might not be the best, but at this 703 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:43,040 Speaker 8: point it was just another thing going wrong. Running on 704 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:46,400 Speaker 8: no sleep, not enough food, and now unable to properly 705 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:47,280 Speaker 8: clean myself. 706 00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:50,480 Speaker 3: I was emotionally breaking down. That's a lot to handle. 707 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,040 Speaker 1: A lunch, cold shower, That's hard. 708 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,239 Speaker 8: The night before our return flight, we all went to 709 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,359 Speaker 8: bed early since we had to get up in time 710 00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,600 Speaker 8: to catch the only direct flight back to the US 711 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,640 Speaker 8: that day. We woke up early and dropped off at 712 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,680 Speaker 8: the airport, only to find out that it wasn't a 713 00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:06,200 Speaker 8: twenty four hour airport. And and Bailey, who had booked 714 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,799 Speaker 8: the flight, didn't realize this, so we had to wait 715 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,480 Speaker 8: an hour for it to open. When we finally went 716 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,600 Speaker 8: to check in, they asked for our last VID test, 717 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 8: which had to be within the past twenty four hours. 718 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,480 Speaker 8: None of us had taken one recently enough, so we 719 00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,600 Speaker 8: had to rush across the street to a small clinic 720 00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:25,239 Speaker 8: wait for that to open, and that was another hour wasted. 721 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,319 Speaker 8: At this point, we were cutting it very close to 722 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,080 Speaker 8: boarding time. And and Bailey, who planned the trip, went 723 00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:34,800 Speaker 8: in first for testing, then Kim, then me, then Casey. 724 00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,480 Speaker 3: As Casey and I were getting our tests. 725 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,440 Speaker 8: And Bailey and Kim said that they were going to 726 00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,360 Speaker 8: the check and desk to tell the crew to wait 727 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,680 Speaker 8: for us. Now I didn't like this one bit. When 728 00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,240 Speaker 8: you're in a foreign country, you're not supposed to separate 729 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,560 Speaker 8: from your group, but I figured since I was still 730 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,880 Speaker 8: with Casey, maybe it would be okay. Once we got 731 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,040 Speaker 8: our results and rushed to the check and desk, no 732 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,040 Speaker 8: one was there. Oh no, not the flight crew, not 733 00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:00,000 Speaker 8: our group members, no one. I frantically called Kim asked 734 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,960 Speaker 8: where they were. She said that they were boarding the 735 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,479 Speaker 8: flight and begging the crew to let us on. Now 736 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,200 Speaker 8: I don't believe this for one second. 737 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:13,080 Speaker 1: Wait what I don't know? Wait? Sorry, sorry. 738 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:17,160 Speaker 8: Maybe they asked once, but I highly doubt that they 739 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,480 Speaker 8: truly advocated for us. So here I was stranded in 740 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,160 Speaker 8: a foreign country I had never been to, with only 741 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,960 Speaker 8: one other person from our group. We had no clue 742 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,319 Speaker 8: what to do or where to go. The help desk 743 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,080 Speaker 8: told us that we needed to book a hotel for 744 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,600 Speaker 8: the night since the next flight to the US wasn't 745 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:35,399 Speaker 8: until the next day. We also had to buy new 746 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,360 Speaker 8: last minute plane tickets, and we all know how expensive 747 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,640 Speaker 8: those are, especially for international flights. 748 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:45,400 Speaker 1: So where did they go? They went on the flight, 749 00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:47,160 Speaker 1: but there weren't the flight wasn't there. 750 00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:49,000 Speaker 3: That's because everyone was bording, so. 751 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,320 Speaker 1: They sorry, I thought they were at the gate, and 752 00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:52,920 Speaker 1: they're like, they're at their wrong gate, and they're like, 753 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:54,080 Speaker 1: what happened? Where is everyone? 754 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,600 Speaker 8: No? I mean I guess, I mean that's kind of 755 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,719 Speaker 8: what they're saying, is that like there's no like flight 756 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,840 Speaker 8: crew everyone. But I think it's because everyone was literally 757 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,960 Speaker 8: already on the plane, Like there were probably other people 758 00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,000 Speaker 8: at other gates there. 759 00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:06,600 Speaker 1: But yeah, they. 760 00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:10,160 Speaker 3: Didn't they didn't do whatever they could to stop them. 761 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,480 Speaker 1: They just they just boarded. Shoot, what would you do? 762 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,719 Speaker 8: Would you board the plane or would you wait for 763 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,200 Speaker 8: your group, like have to go the next day with 764 00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:19,160 Speaker 8: your with the rest. 765 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:23,479 Speaker 1: Of your group. Pens on how well I'm doing financially. Yeah, 766 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:27,839 Speaker 1: I'm not doing so hot financially. Sorry, guys. Now, let's 767 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,719 Speaker 1: say like it's a group of guys, yeah, and they 768 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,839 Speaker 1: were in the wrong. I'm not gonna I'm be like, sorry, guys, 769 00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:35,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get on the flight. Yeah. But if it 770 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:38,440 Speaker 1: was like you and Sophia left behind, yeah, and me 771 00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:40,000 Speaker 1: and other guy, I'd be like, we got to stay back. 772 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,680 Speaker 1: We can't leave these girls here. 773 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,560 Speaker 3: Thanks appreciate that. 774 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:45,920 Speaker 1: That's that's my take on that. 775 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,759 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, man, poor planning, that's rough. 776 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:52,080 Speaker 8: I had to drop one thousand, five hundred dollars on 777 00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,799 Speaker 8: a new ticket just to get home. On top of that, 778 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:56,760 Speaker 8: I had to pay for a hotel near the airport 779 00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:58,879 Speaker 8: since we had to wake up early, get tested again 780 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:00,720 Speaker 8: and our fight. 781 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:01,320 Speaker 3: Now. 782 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,040 Speaker 8: I was a broke college student and had budgeted this 783 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:07,080 Speaker 8: trip down to the scent. I had brought a little 784 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,000 Speaker 8: extra money, but not enough to cover an emergency this big. 785 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:11,719 Speaker 8: I had to charge my flight ticket and use the 786 00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,920 Speaker 8: last of my converted money for the hotel. I didn't 787 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,239 Speaker 8: even have enough left for an uber, so we had 788 00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:20,280 Speaker 8: to walk five miles to the hotel while carrying our luggage. 789 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, this whole thing is just such a mess. 790 00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:24,200 Speaker 1: That's a tank cake. 791 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:28,080 Speaker 8: Thank god the hotel had meals included hot water and 792 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:32,320 Speaker 8: cozy beds, Otherwise I would have lost it. The stress, exhaustion, 793 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,080 Speaker 8: and lack of basic needs throughout the trip had already 794 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,279 Speaker 8: pushed me to my breaking point. Once we got through 795 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,800 Speaker 8: our layover on the new flight, I was finally able 796 00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,719 Speaker 8: to breathe and relax, knowing I was almost home. This 797 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:44,719 Speaker 8: is where I asked myself would I be in a 798 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:48,480 Speaker 8: hole for going low contact with my friend after all this? 799 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:50,960 Speaker 8: On the one hand, I get it, buying another ticket 800 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,680 Speaker 8: and staying an extra night is expensive. 801 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:54,720 Speaker 3: And on the other hand, I thought we were good friends. 802 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,560 Speaker 3: Who leaves their friends stranded in a foreign country they've 803 00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,440 Speaker 3: never been to. But I have another question. 804 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,880 Speaker 8: It's gonna listen to all of our extra stories and 805 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,640 Speaker 8: episodes with most stories just like this one. 806 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:08,760 Speaker 3: What's the answer, Riley? 807 00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,279 Speaker 1: I don't know. Could it be you? 808 00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:12,799 Speaker 5: Could it be you? 809 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:14,560 Speaker 3: I think it is. 810 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:18,920 Speaker 8: Just go to Spotify, Apple podcasts, or iHeart Radio and search. Okay, 811 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,120 Speaker 8: story time anyway, Uh back to you, Riley. 812 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:29,600 Speaker 3: There's more to this story. You never on Riley, dude, 813 00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:31,360 Speaker 3: but there is more to this story. 814 00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:36,880 Speaker 8: But but what what what would what would you do? 815 00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:38,120 Speaker 1: Test? 816 00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:39,759 Speaker 3: See what words they use? 817 00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:44,560 Speaker 8: Would b B DI alverging low contact with their friend? 818 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:50,800 Speaker 1: No, cause it's like, yeah, I would have not left them. 819 00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:56,080 Speaker 1: They're alone whenever you're getting your test. I understand you 820 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,520 Speaker 1: were kind of that was what went wrong. They were 821 00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:00,000 Speaker 1: waiting on the test, right, and then they left. 822 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:01,479 Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty much. 823 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:06,600 Speaker 1: I would go probably low contact and and then like 824 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,040 Speaker 1: kind of step away and be like, all right, you 825 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:11,360 Speaker 1: know my you know my guy, you know my girl. Yeah, 826 00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:12,560 Speaker 1: you got my bag like that. 827 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:18,080 Speaker 8: Yeah, I'm really glad that she was not alone alone this. 828 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,080 Speaker 8: I feel like with things like this, if like something 829 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:25,799 Speaker 8: goes wrong, someone's planning something, I always have to like 830 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:27,799 Speaker 8: think that I have to blame myself a little bit 831 00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,880 Speaker 8: at the same time, being like, well, I was also 832 00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,319 Speaker 8: going on this trip and like I was doing this, 833 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,319 Speaker 8: and that I could have done the research into all 834 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:36,279 Speaker 8: this too, you know. 835 00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:36,600 Speaker 5: What I mean? 836 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,600 Speaker 8: Because do you remember it was she like she was 837 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:41,480 Speaker 8: just like fully planning it herself. 838 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:45,640 Speaker 1: I think she was fully planning it herself in a way. Yeah, 839 00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:49,399 Speaker 1: I don't know why miscommunication happened well of the group chat. 840 00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:52,120 Speaker 1: Talking to the group chat, yeah, I guess so. 841 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,160 Speaker 8: Peter just said that she like trusted her friend and 842 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:55,680 Speaker 8: that was that was mistake number one. 843 00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:56,719 Speaker 3: I think that's what she said. 844 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:58,680 Speaker 1: Anyways, what happened next. 845 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:00,920 Speaker 8: Kim also said that she tried to help me out 846 00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:03,760 Speaker 8: with the cost of the ticket, but that never happened, 847 00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:05,360 Speaker 8: not even five dollars. 848 00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:06,120 Speaker 3: Nothing. 849 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,759 Speaker 8: That felt like the cherry on top of an already 850 00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:12,120 Speaker 8: crappy experience. My friends and family who know the full 851 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,319 Speaker 8: story say, I'm not the a hole. They say it 852 00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,480 Speaker 8: was a terrible thing for him to do, and I 853 00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:19,200 Speaker 8: know if that's true, then Anne and Bailey are just 854 00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:21,879 Speaker 8: as bad. Some of their past behavior should have clued 855 00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:24,280 Speaker 8: me in that they were the best people to trust 856 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,160 Speaker 8: with our travel plans. Hindsight is twenty twenty, I guess, 857 00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:29,040 Speaker 8: But what do you all think? Am I the a 858 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,720 Speaker 8: hole for going low contact with my friend? For leaving 859 00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:33,400 Speaker 8: me behind in a foreign country? 860 00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:38,719 Speaker 1: The friend I hosted suddenly vanished along with my valuables. 861 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:39,360 Speaker 3: Hosted or ghosted? 862 00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:39,839 Speaker 1: Am I right? 863 00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:40,480 Speaker 3: I guess? 864 00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:45,279 Speaker 1: Dude, freaking bars everyone looking for some advice and just 865 00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,759 Speaker 1: to tell this insane story. This all started at the 866 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,120 Speaker 1: end of December when I invited some friends to celebrate 867 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,880 Speaker 1: New Year's Eve with me and my boyfriend. Before we 868 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,839 Speaker 1: go any farther, this story comes from one of our 869 00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,960 Speaker 1: very freaking owned no our sash Okay story. Some subrend 870 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,480 Speaker 1: another one we planned a chill few days before the party. 871 00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,399 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Useful Platypus twenty seven 872 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,120 Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 873 00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,319 Speaker 1: to the arsashow Okay story Tom Suburn, So, my friend 874 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,759 Speaker 1: Lana and her boyfriend Tobias were coming. I met Lana 875 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:17,600 Speaker 1: while backpacking in Easter Island, and she and Tobias are 876 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,120 Speaker 1: the sweetest people. Since they've lived in another country, I 877 00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:23,000 Speaker 1: was really excited to see them. While making plans, another 878 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:26,319 Speaker 1: backpacking friend, Alex, reached out on Instagram saying he was 879 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:29,080 Speaker 1: coming to Europe since he'd be passing through the Netherlands. 880 00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:31,719 Speaker 1: I told him to stop by and mentioned our New 881 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:35,000 Speaker 1: Year's Eve gathering. He got excited and wanted to join us. 882 00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:38,440 Speaker 1: The arrival disaster a couple of days before the New 883 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:42,880 Speaker 1: Year's Eve party, Lana and Tobias arrived midday. We had 884 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,320 Speaker 1: a great time catching up and walking around town. Meanwhile, 885 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,960 Speaker 1: Alex messaged me that he was on his way from Germany, 886 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,520 Speaker 1: where he had spent Christmas. He was supposed to arrive 887 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:54,560 Speaker 1: that day around eight pm, but kept getting delayed. At 888 00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:57,480 Speaker 1: one point, he mentioned having some drinks, so I assumed 889 00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,480 Speaker 1: he might have fallen asleep on the train. I told 890 00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:01,919 Speaker 1: him that if his phone passed away, he should meet 891 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:04,920 Speaker 1: me in front of the Starbucks near the station. Meanwhile, 892 00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:08,000 Speaker 1: my boyfriend and I were enjoying a relaxed evening with 893 00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:11,840 Speaker 1: Lana and Tobias to pass board games and win Alex 894 00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,600 Speaker 1: kept being delayed at some point, and he would arrive 895 00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:17,120 Speaker 1: at one am. We made a quick phone call where 896 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:20,000 Speaker 1: I asked if he minds walking to my place, which 897 00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,720 Speaker 1: he said he didn't. Whilst we were getting ready for sleep, 898 00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:25,920 Speaker 1: we waited up for him. Ten minutes after his expected arrival, 899 00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:29,760 Speaker 1: I texted him. No response. At won forty am, I called, 900 00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,400 Speaker 1: no answer. My boyfriend and I started getting worried, so 901 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,440 Speaker 1: we hopped on our bikes to check the station. He 902 00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:36,799 Speaker 1: was nowhere to be seen. We spent the next hour 903 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,399 Speaker 1: cycling around the city, asking people if they'd seen him, 904 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,319 Speaker 1: checking the few places still open, not many since it 905 00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:45,560 Speaker 1: was Sunday. Nothing. Eventually, we headed home. I even called 906 00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,759 Speaker 1: the police just to check if he had ended up there. 907 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:51,000 Speaker 1: At this point, we were both worried and really confused. 908 00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:54,279 Speaker 1: I barely slept that night. The next day still no 909 00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:58,399 Speaker 1: sign of him. The next morning, Lana and Tobias, who 910 00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:01,280 Speaker 1: didn't even know Alex, kept an eye out while exploring 911 00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,920 Speaker 1: the city. I called a few hotels and the Starbucks 912 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:06,479 Speaker 1: where he was supposed to meet me. No luck. Since 913 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,840 Speaker 1: my boyfriend and I worked freelance, we tried to focus 914 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:11,880 Speaker 1: on work, but I couldn't shake the unease. I started 915 00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:15,040 Speaker 1: thinking maybe he lost his phone and couldn't access Instagram. 916 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,000 Speaker 1: I knew his last name, so I searched online and 917 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,640 Speaker 1: actually found his parents' phone number and email, figuring he 918 00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:22,200 Speaker 1: might remember their number by heart. I left a message 919 00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:24,359 Speaker 1: with my contacting foe and in case he reached out. 920 00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:27,319 Speaker 1: His parents didn't answer. By five pm, we decided to 921 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,080 Speaker 1: go to the police to report it, mostly for our 922 00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:31,840 Speaker 1: peace of mind. That evening, we tried to relax, playing 923 00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,400 Speaker 1: pool and cooking dinner. Then at eight pm I checked 924 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,440 Speaker 1: my phone and Alex had sent me a follow request 925 00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:42,839 Speaker 1: on Instagram. Interesting the strange excuse. Yeah, I immediately called him. 926 00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:44,759 Speaker 1: Turns out his phone broke on the train and he 927 00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,399 Speaker 1: had no idea what to do, So he arrived, looked 928 00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:50,319 Speaker 1: around for us, and then just booked a hotel. He 929 00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:53,719 Speaker 1: apologized and we were relieved that he was okay, But 930 00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:55,960 Speaker 1: in the back of my mind I was suspicious. It 931 00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:59,480 Speaker 1: just seemed like a weird situation. But I'm not buying this. 932 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:03,080 Speaker 3: What do you think happened? Otherwise you get. 933 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:07,520 Speaker 1: Set up, dude, set him up for something. I'm about it. 934 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:08,200 Speaker 1: I don't know. 935 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,960 Speaker 8: I kind of it seems weird for sure, but like, 936 00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:15,439 Speaker 8: I don't really know what else would have happened, Yan, 937 00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:16,120 Speaker 8: what do you think? 938 00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:19,759 Speaker 9: I don't know, Like, if you're traveling, I get it. 939 00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,680 Speaker 9: It's hard to communicate because you don't have like the 940 00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:22,960 Speaker 9: SIM card or you know. 941 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:26,239 Speaker 6: Some thing's happen. It just happened to me. My phone 942 00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:29,320 Speaker 6: got stolen while studying the road. It happens, and it sucks. 943 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:29,879 Speaker 3: That's good. 944 00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,120 Speaker 9: Yeah, you have people you can talk to and like, hey, 945 00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:34,840 Speaker 9: can I just measuree somebody or go on Facebook or 946 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:36,600 Speaker 9: go on your Instagram for like a quick second. It 947 00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:38,600 Speaker 9: takes like three minutes to sign into your Instagram or 948 00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:42,120 Speaker 9: Facebook or whatever just to message somebody. So that was 949 00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:43,719 Speaker 9: kind of odd that he didn't do it immediately. 950 00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:45,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my take. 951 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:47,759 Speaker 6: But also one day, that's okay. 952 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,040 Speaker 9: You check the next day and if you don't get 953 00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:52,320 Speaker 9: any messages, and then I would go to the police, agreed. 954 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, going to the police seems a little bit fast. 955 00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:57,359 Speaker 6: It was really quick. He gave it a day pretty much, 956 00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:59,680 Speaker 6: not even a day. You gave it like half a day. Yeah. 957 00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:03,680 Speaker 1: He finally showed up with his backpack, feeling bad about everything. 958 00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:05,960 Speaker 1: We said not to worry, and happy that we found him. 959 00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,360 Speaker 1: We had dinner, drank some wine, played board games. To 960 00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,680 Speaker 1: be honest, we all were after a good time and 961 00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:12,560 Speaker 1: at that point there was no reason to be annoyed 962 00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:15,400 Speaker 1: or to raise questions. We just give him the benefit 963 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:16,960 Speaker 1: of the doubt and just had a good time. New 964 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,920 Speaker 1: Year's Eve the disappearance. The next day, we planned to 965 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,239 Speaker 1: visit a spa before the New Year's Eve party. In 966 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,920 Speaker 1: the morning, I reminded Alex check out of this hotel 967 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,440 Speaker 1: and maybe by flip flops for the spa. I mentioned 968 00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,600 Speaker 1: that he could rent a robe as it was required. 969 00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:32,800 Speaker 1: Later he returned not with flip flops, but with a robe, 970 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:35,000 Speaker 1: saying he bought it at a store. He mentioned that 971 00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:37,439 Speaker 1: his girlfriend didn't have a robe, which he could give 972 00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,239 Speaker 1: the robe to her. Despite the weirdness, the next few 973 00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:43,120 Speaker 1: days were fun. We spent eight hours out of spa. 974 00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:46,640 Speaker 1: At lunch and relaxed that evening, we ate traditional Swiss food. 975 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,320 Speaker 1: It was a nice mix of people from our different countries. 976 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:52,640 Speaker 1: Me Dutch, Lonin Tobias German, and my boyfriend Leo Swiss, 977 00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,680 Speaker 1: Alex American. Alex mentioned a few times that he would 978 00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:57,839 Speaker 1: ship in for food and booze. As he drank a. 979 00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:02,040 Speaker 6: Lot hypical American. Typical typical American drinks a lot lot 980 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:02,839 Speaker 6: my right. 981 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,359 Speaker 1: When I was in Bali, there were Dutch and Germans there, 982 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,799 Speaker 1: and all my American friends were drinking way more than 983 00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:08,840 Speaker 1: they were really. 984 00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:15,279 Speaker 6: Yeah, the Germans in the French did love me like 985 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:16,520 Speaker 6: this guy's crazy. 986 00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,160 Speaker 1: I told him I'd appreciate it since we already bought 987 00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:23,240 Speaker 1: everything before he arrived. Your z eve was itself was great. 988 00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,200 Speaker 1: We danced all night, watched the fireworks, and got home 989 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,360 Speaker 1: around six am. The next morning. Leah took Lana and 990 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,080 Speaker 1: Tobias to their car while I started cleaning the apartment. 991 00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:35,040 Speaker 1: At some point, Alex mentioned needing some alone time and 992 00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:37,480 Speaker 1: wanted to grab a coffee. I understood it had been 993 00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:40,200 Speaker 1: intense few days in the small apartment. Still, whilst we 994 00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:42,720 Speaker 1: were talking a bit in the atmosphere was a little 995 00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,520 Speaker 1: awkward and I just couldn't pinpoint why it was strange. 996 00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:47,799 Speaker 1: He stood up and wanted to take his backpack. I 997 00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,120 Speaker 1: asked him, as he was coming back later, why not 998 00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:52,359 Speaker 1: leave it here as it's a heavy and big bag, 999 00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:54,200 Speaker 1: and he told me he wanted to take it as 1000 00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:56,520 Speaker 1: it had his laptop in it. This caught me off guard. 1001 00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,160 Speaker 1: As he had already found on my website and could 1002 00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:02,440 Speaker 1: have reached to me sooner when his phone was broken. Mmmm, 1003 00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:04,319 Speaker 1: so things aren't adding up here. 1004 00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:06,600 Speaker 3: Interesting. Interesting. 1005 00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,759 Speaker 1: We discussed that we would either visit Amsterdam for a 1006 00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,520 Speaker 1: night and then come back, or he would return later 1007 00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:14,800 Speaker 1: that evening. He made plans for the next few days. 1008 00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,439 Speaker 1: Still it was a little weird as he didn't even 1009 00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:20,560 Speaker 1: say bye to Leo, who was coming back anytime the 1010 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:22,840 Speaker 1: vanishing nact. Later that day, Alex messed me that he 1011 00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:25,560 Speaker 1: would head to London earlier than expected and to be 1012 00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:28,480 Speaker 1: staying somewhere else that night. We said, cool, let's talk tomorrow. 1013 00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:31,440 Speaker 1: That's when things got weird. While doing laundry, I realized 1014 00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:34,080 Speaker 1: my new robe was missing. Alex's robe was still there. 1015 00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:36,520 Speaker 1: I messaged him asking if he had seen it, mentioned 1016 00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,680 Speaker 1: he forgot his robe and asked if he was coming back. 1017 00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:42,440 Speaker 1: No response, what why. Over the next few days I 1018 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,520 Speaker 1: sent him another message, including a payment request for some 1019 00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:48,440 Speaker 1: of the food and booze and the spa around sixty euros. 1020 00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:50,960 Speaker 1: Still nothing. Me and Leo actually drove to the spa 1021 00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,120 Speaker 1: to check if it was there, but it wasn't. Weeks 1022 00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:55,560 Speaker 1: past and I realized one of my sweaters was missing 1023 00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:58,600 Speaker 1: that I was sure was in the room, the living 1024 00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:01,239 Speaker 1: room where he stayed. I asked, but she said she 1025 00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:03,280 Speaker 1: hadn't seen it. We had a phone call and agreed 1026 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:06,720 Speaker 1: it was strange. We hadn't heard from Alex at all. Leo, meanwhile, 1027 00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:10,319 Speaker 1: was getting increasingly annoyed at the lack of respect ghos 1028 00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,120 Speaker 1: seeing us after making plans and not paying me back. Then, 1029 00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:16,000 Speaker 1: while cleaning my apartment before heading to Switzerland, I made 1030 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:19,160 Speaker 1: another discovery. My analog camera was gone. This wasn't just 1031 00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:22,360 Speaker 1: any camera. It belonged to my late grandfather and still 1032 00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,959 Speaker 1: had a full roll of film from a trip Leo 1033 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,919 Speaker 1: and I took to Tunisia. 1034 00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:27,400 Speaker 3: Wow. 1035 00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:29,959 Speaker 1: I had a long chat with Lana about this matter, 1036 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:33,480 Speaker 1: and she feels sick about it. Oh my gosh, he 1037 00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:39,240 Speaker 1: just took everything. Yeah, all of this, like valuable stuff gone. Dude. 1038 00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:41,279 Speaker 6: That's my travel tip. 1039 00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:45,400 Speaker 9: Whenever you can never trust anybody. M they could be 1040 00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:47,640 Speaker 9: the coolest person and just have all your belongings. 1041 00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:48,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, locked up. 1042 00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:50,120 Speaker 6: That's why you bring locks on your one you travel. 1043 00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:51,440 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1044 00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:53,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, that seems good truly. 1045 00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:56,520 Speaker 6: Espectually in like hostels or airbnb wherever you got. 1046 00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:00,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure they didn't take the stuff, as I 1047 00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:03,120 Speaker 1: know and trusted them, and besides they were just that 1048 00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:05,560 Speaker 1: that kind of people. I traveled with Alana six countries 1049 00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:07,879 Speaker 1: and she really gets upset about this kind of stuff. 1050 00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:09,680 Speaker 1: But I do now. At this point, I had given 1051 00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:12,480 Speaker 1: Alex multiple chances to respond, including scene him in payment 1052 00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:15,839 Speaker 1: requests for about sixty euros. Honestly, the scooter rental and 1053 00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:19,280 Speaker 1: extra costs from that night searching for him weren't cheap either, 1054 00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:21,880 Speaker 1: and I barely work that day. But the money isn't 1055 00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:25,080 Speaker 1: the main issue. It's the missing items and more than anything, 1056 00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:27,640 Speaker 1: the trust that's been broken. I think it's hard to 1057 00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:30,440 Speaker 1: assume he took my stuff, although on the other side, 1058 00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:32,680 Speaker 1: he's not responding to my messages. By the way, you 1059 00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,439 Speaker 1: can respond to us after the story by checking out 1060 00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:39,160 Speaker 1: your favorite podcast platform, searching up Okay Storytime, and checking 1061 00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,479 Speaker 1: out our stories because we got a bunch of crazy ones. 1062 00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:46,399 Speaker 1: That's one. Come on down, come on down, dang man, 1063 00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:48,680 Speaker 1: can you do anything? He's gone. 1064 00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:50,480 Speaker 6: There's no such like this. 1065 00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:53,560 Speaker 3: Is just yeah, it's kind of how it be when 1066 00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:56,319 Speaker 3: you're traveling. I guess this is just hang man. 1067 00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,400 Speaker 6: There's no such thing as like travel insurance. For this 1068 00:50:58,480 --> 00:50:59,520 Speaker 6: kind of thing that. 1069 00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:01,440 Speaker 1: They live at home. This is their home. 1070 00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:02,280 Speaker 6: Yeah. 1071 00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:05,840 Speaker 1: I know some people might say, why invite someone you 1072 00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:08,120 Speaker 1: didn't even know that well, but in the backpacking world, 1073 00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:10,759 Speaker 1: there's a sense of mutual respect. You travel together, look 1074 00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,960 Speaker 1: out for each other. I let him into my home 1075 00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:15,960 Speaker 1: was hospitable, and now I feel used. I don't know 1076 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,719 Speaker 1: what my next step should be. Should I confront him, should. 1077 00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:18,960 Speaker 5: I let it go. 1078 00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,520 Speaker 1: I just feel bad that this whole situation has cast 1079 00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:23,759 Speaker 1: a shadow over what was supposed to be a fun 1080 00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:28,480 Speaker 1: and meaningful reunion. Confront him and I mean, I know 1081 00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,080 Speaker 1: those pictures are gone. I'm really sorry about that part. 1082 00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,359 Speaker 3: Yeah, the camera, I know. 1083 00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:33,640 Speaker 1: I would. 1084 00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:34,120 Speaker 5: I would. 1085 00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:37,000 Speaker 3: I don't know though, because it's hard, like if they 1086 00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:38,280 Speaker 3: don't see each. 1087 00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,400 Speaker 8: Other in person at all, then confronting him would just 1088 00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:42,960 Speaker 8: be like messaging him on whatever app and he's not 1089 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,799 Speaker 8: going to answer it exactly, So it's like I don't 1090 00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:49,120 Speaker 8: even know if that's going to do anything, you know. Yeah, 1091 00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:52,360 Speaker 8: but it's really just kind of so crappy though. And 1092 00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:55,400 Speaker 8: they were so worried about this guy, and they were 1093 00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:58,440 Speaker 8: like literally just worried about. 1094 00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:00,680 Speaker 3: His safety when he wasn't like talking to them. 1095 00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:04,279 Speaker 8: He's gone has to feel bad about that's so that's 1096 00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:05,120 Speaker 8: so crappy. 1097 00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:08,440 Speaker 1: He really is, Yeah, he is, But that's the end 1098 00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:11,920 Speaker 1: of that story. Hey y'all, it's John og Host here. 1099 00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:13,320 Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a 1100 00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,279 Speaker 2: quick three minute break from ask for more sponsors. 1101 00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:18,520 Speaker 1: My wife's best friend insulted me in my home, so 1102 00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:19,800 Speaker 1: I bandered. 1103 00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:22,319 Speaker 3: You shall not pass. 1104 00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:25,000 Speaker 1: Me and my wife got married a year ago. We 1105 00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,440 Speaker 1: both were in our early twenties. I love my wife 1106 00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:29,799 Speaker 1: very much. I do everything for her, take care of her. 1107 00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,600 Speaker 1: I know she loves me, and I never feel a 1108 00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:33,880 Speaker 1: shame for doing what my wife asked me to and 1109 00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:36,520 Speaker 1: as her husband, I feel like she's my responsibility and 1110 00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:38,439 Speaker 1: it's my duty to take care of her. By the way, 1111 00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:41,279 Speaker 1: this comes from Substantial Shape sixty eight. If you want 1112 00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:42,960 Speaker 1: some of your own stories, go to our slash Okay 1113 00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:47,279 Speaker 1: story times upbredd it. So her best friend BFF insulted me. 1114 00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:50,400 Speaker 1: Her BFF visits us every few weeks, always did. We 1115 00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:53,920 Speaker 1: aren't close, but we do talk, not enough to be friends, 1116 00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:56,480 Speaker 1: but me and my wife's BFF get out along. Two 1117 00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:58,719 Speaker 1: weeks ago. She came to spend time with my wife 1118 00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,479 Speaker 1: After talking to my wife, she came to the living 1119 00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:04,000 Speaker 1: room and it was just me and her and my 1120 00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:08,040 Speaker 1: wife was cooking. We're watching the news, and long story short, 1121 00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:10,960 Speaker 1: we're arguing over politics. We went back and forth, and 1122 00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:14,960 Speaker 1: she got angry bad and started getting old. My wife 1123 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,319 Speaker 1: came and so was arguing. BFF got so angry that 1124 00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:21,400 Speaker 1: she started insulting me. I didn't like that, but I 1125 00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:23,960 Speaker 1: kept it civil, but she started saying that I am 1126 00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:26,200 Speaker 1: a simp without a back boom. I always hid behind 1127 00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:28,200 Speaker 1: my wife and listen to her all the time, and 1128 00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:30,800 Speaker 1: I'm weak. I don't know anything about the real world, 1129 00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:34,359 Speaker 1: and I'm basically my wife's puppy who always listens to her, 1130 00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:36,880 Speaker 1: so I should shut up and listen to my wife's command. 1131 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,160 Speaker 1: I was angry, but I asked her to leave. She 1132 00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,040 Speaker 1: said she's sorry for what she said, but I kept 1133 00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:42,799 Speaker 1: asking her to leave. She looked at my wife, and 1134 00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:45,239 Speaker 1: my wife just said, it's between you guys, and deal 1135 00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:47,160 Speaker 1: with it. I demanded she leaves right away, and she 1136 00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:50,320 Speaker 1: finally left. I felt really bad for what she said, 1137 00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:52,279 Speaker 1: so I went to my wife to talk to her 1138 00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:54,840 Speaker 1: and asked her, if you think the way she thinks, 1139 00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,719 Speaker 1: my wife said ignore what her best friend said. I 1140 00:53:57,719 --> 00:54:00,560 Speaker 1: am not her puppy or anything like that. Her husband 1141 00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:02,719 Speaker 1: and she couldn't have found a better husband, and she's 1142 00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:04,120 Speaker 1: glad that I'm with her. 1143 00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:06,879 Speaker 3: Ah, that's cute. 1144 00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:09,439 Speaker 1: We both spent the night together and my wife said 1145 00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:11,680 Speaker 1: she'll talk to her friend and she will always be 1146 00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:15,240 Speaker 1: on my side. But yesterday her best friend visited once again. 1147 00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:18,200 Speaker 1: She said she came to me to apologize. I politely 1148 00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:20,879 Speaker 1: said that I'm currently still angry at her and it's 1149 00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:23,520 Speaker 1: better if we do not escalate. What you said was 1150 00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:27,000 Speaker 1: extremely disrespectful. I love my wife, will always love her, 1151 00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:28,719 Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean I'm a puppy, and for you 1152 00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:32,040 Speaker 1: to consider me one is disgusting. She says she's extremely 1153 00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:34,640 Speaker 1: sorry for what she said in her anger and didn't 1154 00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:37,120 Speaker 1: mean it. I asked her to leave. My wife simply 1155 00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:39,839 Speaker 1: said it's between you both. Deal with it once again. Later, 1156 00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:42,560 Speaker 1: my wife said I should forgive her best friend and 1157 00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:45,680 Speaker 1: I should not think about whatever she said. And I 1158 00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:48,799 Speaker 1: am her husband, so no matter whatever decision I make, 1159 00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:52,640 Speaker 1: she will support me, always choose me over everything else, 1160 00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:54,799 Speaker 1: and if I want to, she will ask her best 1161 00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,000 Speaker 1: friend to never come to her home again. Now I'm 1162 00:54:57,040 --> 00:54:59,719 Speaker 1: thinking if I should forgive the best friend or ask 1163 00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:01,839 Speaker 1: my wife to cut her off or not allow her 1164 00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:04,399 Speaker 1: in my house again. Am I the a hole? 1165 00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:07,719 Speaker 8: I think it's an overreaction, A reaction. Yeah, I think 1166 00:55:07,719 --> 00:55:09,719 Speaker 8: you can be mad about it. You talked about it, 1167 00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:12,160 Speaker 8: she apologized. It's not that bad. 1168 00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:13,520 Speaker 1: Like I don't know. 1169 00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:17,440 Speaker 8: I don't really like the thing about like you know, 1170 00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:20,920 Speaker 8: you'll choose your partner over absolutely everything else in your life. 1171 00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:22,239 Speaker 1: Love you, Riley, but like. 1172 00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:29,640 Speaker 8: You know, run that back, But like you know, I think, 1173 00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:32,560 Speaker 8: I don't know. I've just been in a situation where, 1174 00:55:32,760 --> 00:55:35,239 Speaker 8: like an X of mine got mad at something that 1175 00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:38,239 Speaker 8: my friend did, and it was he got way too 1176 00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:42,520 Speaker 8: mad at it, and I think it I didn't agree 1177 00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:45,000 Speaker 8: with him, but I kind of had to. I don't 1178 00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,240 Speaker 8: know it was it was a it was a weird situation. 1179 00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:50,360 Speaker 8: But I've been in her shoes. If OP were to 1180 00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:53,560 Speaker 8: be like no, no, she can never come back. I've 1181 00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:56,759 Speaker 8: been in the like wife's shoes and it's not fun. 1182 00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:57,680 Speaker 1: So don't do that. 1183 00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:01,200 Speaker 8: So I think it's not that big of a get 1184 00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:04,239 Speaker 8: over it. Maybe it's gonna be weird around her, and 1185 00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:06,120 Speaker 8: if it still is, then you can talk about that again, 1186 00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:08,880 Speaker 8: but I think to have her never come back because 1187 00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:10,480 Speaker 8: she called you a simp and a puppy. 1188 00:56:10,719 --> 00:56:11,640 Speaker 3: It's like, come on. 1189 00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:14,160 Speaker 1: Come on, come us. It's not even that Porsche. 1190 00:56:14,719 --> 00:56:16,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, like, that's not even insult. 1191 00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:19,600 Speaker 1: She did hit your manhood, but how strong is your 1192 00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:21,920 Speaker 1: manhood if you're gonna let this stop you from being friends? 1193 00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:24,880 Speaker 3: Exactly exactly update. 1194 00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:27,440 Speaker 1: After my wife's best friend called me a puppy, I 1195 00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:29,600 Speaker 1: was very angry at her friend. Normally I would have 1196 00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:32,080 Speaker 1: forgiven her, but I do not feel comfortable about the 1197 00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:34,520 Speaker 1: fact I was insulted. If it was a joke, I 1198 00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:36,360 Speaker 1: wouldn't have cared so much about it. I decided to 1199 00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:38,040 Speaker 1: talk to my wife and sure what I think with her. 1200 00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:39,799 Speaker 1: I told her that I want to discuss and share 1201 00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:41,680 Speaker 1: what I feel with her. She sat me down. She 1202 00:56:41,719 --> 00:56:44,080 Speaker 1: said I should tell her everything I feel. I was blunt. 1203 00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,040 Speaker 1: I didn't try to sugarcoat it. I said I do 1204 00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:47,840 Speaker 1: not like what her best friends said. I do not 1205 00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:50,320 Speaker 1: like being called names. I am not your obedient puppy. 1206 00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:52,480 Speaker 1: I'm your husband, and I listened to you and do 1207 00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:54,560 Speaker 1: everything you ask for because you are my wife and 1208 00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:56,640 Speaker 1: it's my responsibility to take care for you, to listen 1209 00:56:56,640 --> 00:57:00,680 Speaker 1: to you and give you whatever you need. That's cute. 1210 00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:05,440 Speaker 1: No puppy, that seems a little over the top to me, 1211 00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:08,239 Speaker 1: but the way I'm doing it. Or this guy no, 1212 00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:10,600 Speaker 1: that guy. Yeah, yeah, I agree. But if your best 1213 00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:12,719 Speaker 1: friend thinks of me like this, that she would call 1214 00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:14,640 Speaker 1: me your puppy, that was an insult over a pointless 1215 00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:17,360 Speaker 1: political argument. I fear what your other friends might be 1216 00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,840 Speaker 1: thinking about me, because what she thinks is what everyone thinks. 1217 00:57:19,840 --> 00:57:21,920 Speaker 1: If everyone's making fun of me for treating my wife right, 1218 00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:24,000 Speaker 1: doing everything that is needed for her, I will just 1219 00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:26,480 Speaker 1: stop listening to you and thinking of you all the time. 1220 00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:28,800 Speaker 1: If hugged me and said she didn't know that I 1221 00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:31,280 Speaker 1: was thinking this way, and said there's nothing wrong or 1222 00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:33,200 Speaker 1: to be ashamed of for a man to listen to 1223 00:57:33,240 --> 00:57:35,280 Speaker 1: his wife. She said that I'm not her puppy, but 1224 00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:37,800 Speaker 1: her husband, and she couldn't have found a better husband 1225 00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:39,600 Speaker 1: than me. She hugged me and kissed me and says 1226 00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:41,560 Speaker 1: she will talk to her best friend and all of 1227 00:57:41,600 --> 00:57:43,680 Speaker 1: our friends, and if I want to not to allow 1228 00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:45,600 Speaker 1: them in our home, she'll ask them not to come 1229 00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:48,880 Speaker 1: over anymore. Wife, don't give them this, don't give them 1230 00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:54,000 Speaker 1: in because what is he gonna take a mile? That's right, 1231 00:57:54,360 --> 00:58:00,320 Speaker 1: that's right. Yeah, I can't clap. I've got your gosh, dude, 1232 00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:03,400 Speaker 1: that's ah. That just ah. 1233 00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:07,440 Speaker 3: Like, listen, look out for number one. Make space for 1234 00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:08,360 Speaker 3: your friends, guys. 1235 00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:09,560 Speaker 1: You're right. 1236 00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:11,520 Speaker 8: I know it's your husband. I know that's different when 1237 00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:14,080 Speaker 8: you have a family and stuff. But like, they're not 1238 00:58:14,320 --> 00:58:16,720 Speaker 8: the most important thing in the world. Okay, you are, 1239 00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:19,439 Speaker 8: you are, and if you want your friends, you want friends, 1240 00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:20,120 Speaker 8: keep them around. 1241 00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:23,560 Speaker 1: Oh wait wait, I said, that's not necessary. Oh there 1242 00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:27,240 Speaker 1: you go. Great, great, I said. I just feel extremely 1243 00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:29,520 Speaker 1: bad about what she said, and I wonder if she, 1244 00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,040 Speaker 1: along with everyone of our friends, thinks of me as 1245 00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:35,120 Speaker 1: your dog. Do not want to lose your friends and 1246 00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,800 Speaker 1: live a restricted life. All your friends are welcome to 1247 00:58:37,800 --> 00:58:40,560 Speaker 1: our house, but ask your BFF to remain distance from 1248 00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:42,760 Speaker 1: me with a limited contact for now, because I'm still 1249 00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:45,120 Speaker 1: angry at her. Oh, I've said, she will make sure 1250 00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:47,640 Speaker 1: that I will never get insulted again. And she asked 1251 00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:50,080 Speaker 1: me if I would treat her differently, said I won't. 1252 00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:52,640 Speaker 1: I love you and you are my whole world, So 1253 00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:54,720 Speaker 1: no matter what you ask of me, I will always 1254 00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:57,680 Speaker 1: try to do my best to feel your desire because 1255 00:58:57,720 --> 00:59:00,760 Speaker 1: you're my wife. My wife immediately hugged me and kissed 1256 00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:03,400 Speaker 1: me again, and she said she's glad that I'm still 1257 00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:05,960 Speaker 1: thinking of her and she will fix it all. She's 1258 00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,200 Speaker 1: glad that I still think of her even when I'm hurt. 1259 00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:11,120 Speaker 1: What we did is not relevant, but I'm glad and 1260 00:59:11,200 --> 00:59:13,560 Speaker 1: my wife is still thinking of me and my best 1261 00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:16,480 Speaker 1: interests cares for me. Update two. 1262 00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:19,720 Speaker 5: Excuse me, I'm sorry. What we did is not relevant. 1263 00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:21,920 Speaker 3: You know what, Maybe it was right. 1264 00:59:22,120 --> 00:59:24,840 Speaker 8: I think you are simpf You are simp and you're 1265 00:59:24,840 --> 00:59:26,480 Speaker 8: a silly little puppy. 1266 00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:30,320 Speaker 1: Maybe she was Read update two, posting for advice and 1267 00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:33,120 Speaker 1: more perspective over my situation. For those of you who 1268 00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:35,840 Speaker 1: don't want to read my previous posts, Jildir is I 1269 00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:38,880 Speaker 1: had a huge argument with my wife's best friend over politics. 1270 00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:41,120 Speaker 1: He got so heated that she started getting angry at 1271 00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:43,840 Speaker 1: me and called me my wife's puppy and she doesn't 1272 00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:46,320 Speaker 1: care about my opinion because I'm a puppy. I victored 1273 00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:48,960 Speaker 1: her out and discussed it with my wife. Anyway, in 1274 00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:50,840 Speaker 1: the beginning, I didn't care about it. I was hurt, 1275 00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:52,840 Speaker 1: but I didn't want to hurt my wife's feelings. I 1276 00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:55,640 Speaker 1: thought that I was a man and I should always 1277 00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:58,080 Speaker 1: think about my wife and put her first, But deep 1278 00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:00,919 Speaker 1: down felt bad and fell amiliate and kind of did 1279 01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:04,000 Speaker 1: care not just buy my wife's best friend's words, but 1280 01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:07,960 Speaker 1: also the comments on my post. No more people are 1281 01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:08,959 Speaker 1: coming after you? 1282 01:00:09,040 --> 01:00:09,120 Speaker 8: What? 1283 01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:10,720 Speaker 5: Oh? 1284 01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:15,880 Speaker 8: No, do just get your wife to shut everyone up? 1285 01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:17,520 Speaker 1: How can they not see? 1286 01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:21,720 Speaker 8: Oh my gosh, Oh, I'm just a manic just really 1287 01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:22,920 Speaker 8: cares about his wife. 1288 01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:26,120 Speaker 1: A few weeks ago after the incident, I told my 1289 01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:28,280 Speaker 1: wife that her friend or any of her close friends 1290 01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:30,640 Speaker 1: is not allowed in our house. My wife asked me 1291 01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:33,040 Speaker 1: to understand why I wouldn't allow her best friend in 1292 01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:36,280 Speaker 1: our house. She doesn't understand why her other close friends 1293 01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:38,680 Speaker 1: aren't allowed. Your other close friends might call me the 1294 01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:43,920 Speaker 1: puppy too, or even worse, a small little kitten. Now 1295 01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:45,520 Speaker 1: I can't allow that happened. 1296 01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:48,840 Speaker 5: This guy's yapping his way out of a marriage right now. 1297 01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:51,800 Speaker 1: I don't know she might like this. I see, I 1298 01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:54,560 Speaker 1: see a little dommy mommy, and she's like, it's okay, 1299 01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:57,160 Speaker 1: so good, it's okay, little thim mommy. 1300 01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:57,479 Speaker 2: Dear. 1301 01:00:57,640 --> 01:01:00,640 Speaker 1: I told her she redisrespected me and your other friends 1302 01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:03,080 Speaker 1: also might be thinking of me as a puppy. I'm 1303 01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:05,240 Speaker 1: your husband, not a puppy or a dog or whatever. 1304 01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:08,200 Speaker 1: And I'm super pissed about this disrespect, which got me 1305 01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:11,760 Speaker 1: wondering what they might have been talking about behind my back. 1306 01:01:12,040 --> 01:01:14,479 Speaker 1: My wife said she understands, and if I don't want 1307 01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:17,360 Speaker 1: them in our house, then consider it done. I come first. 1308 01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:19,840 Speaker 1: She loves that I listened to her and put her 1309 01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:22,880 Speaker 1: before anything and everything else, and unless I am okay 1310 01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:26,360 Speaker 1: with allowing them in our house, they won't be visiting us. 1311 01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:29,120 Speaker 1: She asked me to never change and said she's willing 1312 01:01:29,160 --> 01:01:31,959 Speaker 1: to lose everything, but not me. I should always listen 1313 01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:34,720 Speaker 1: to her and she will do the same. After we 1314 01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:37,280 Speaker 1: discussed and agreed on not letting her best friend in 1315 01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:40,480 Speaker 1: our house and lived happily, my wife two days ago 1316 01:01:40,480 --> 01:01:42,080 Speaker 1: ask me I come down to talk to her best 1317 01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:44,800 Speaker 1: friend and she truly regrets what she said and wants 1318 01:01:44,840 --> 01:01:48,080 Speaker 1: to apologize. I refused and said I don't want to 1319 01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:51,080 Speaker 1: ever talk to her. I mean the fifth grade now 1320 01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:55,320 Speaker 1: here me and it's better we stay away from each other. 1321 01:01:55,680 --> 01:01:58,000 Speaker 3: Ah, this is crazy. 1322 01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:00,920 Speaker 1: I don't want anyone in my life disrespects me in 1323 01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,120 Speaker 1: my own house, and especially in front of my own 1324 01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:05,560 Speaker 1: wife said, it's better if we put this whole situation 1325 01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:08,800 Speaker 1: behind us and start fresh. I asked her if she's 1326 01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:12,640 Speaker 1: on my side or her friends. She says, she's with me, 1327 01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:15,440 Speaker 1: but it's better if we reconcile and get along. And 1328 01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:17,880 Speaker 1: her best friend is willing to beg for my forgiveness. 1329 01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:21,560 Speaker 3: Beg I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1330 01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:25,680 Speaker 1: I come, and guys, we beg you to go to 1331 01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:29,280 Speaker 1: your favorite podcast platform search up Okay storytime, please please please, 1332 01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:33,400 Speaker 1: and there we will please you with plenty of stories. 1333 01:02:33,920 --> 01:02:35,400 Speaker 1: Please press on one of them and listen. 1334 01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:39,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, go do that. Well, I lose my absolute mind 1335 01:02:39,880 --> 01:02:40,280 Speaker 3: over here. 1336 01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:42,439 Speaker 1: Well, I've said she won't force me, and it's upon 1337 01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:44,440 Speaker 1: me if I want to forgive her best friend or 1338 01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:46,520 Speaker 1: even talk to her. But she would prefer if we 1339 01:02:46,560 --> 01:02:48,440 Speaker 1: got along, and she doesn't want to lose me, and 1340 01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:50,520 Speaker 1: she is glad that she has found a husband like me, 1341 01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:53,440 Speaker 1: and whatever my decision is, she will agree and begged 1342 01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:56,000 Speaker 1: me not to change because of what others said about me. 1343 01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:58,640 Speaker 1: Now I'm wondering if I should forgive her best friend 1344 01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:01,400 Speaker 1: and allow her and my wife's other friends in our 1345 01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:04,000 Speaker 1: house for my wife's sake. I think I might be 1346 01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:07,160 Speaker 1: uncomfortable for which is why she's bringing it up. Not 1347 01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:09,560 Speaker 1: allowing her friends in our house might be stressing her, 1348 01:03:09,720 --> 01:03:12,720 Speaker 1: but it will stress me if I constantly see the 1349 01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:16,160 Speaker 1: person who disrespected me in my house and my wife 1350 01:03:16,240 --> 01:03:16,800 Speaker 1: allowed it