Speaker 1: No entering notice Stockholm. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's in here.
Speaker 1: I feel goold. Yeah, I'm except except oh yeah, oh
Speaker 1: my god, so exciting, ladies and gentlemen. My name is
Speaker 1: Arna Marine, and I am here with the greatest guide,
Speaker 1: the ken Burns of the Bachelor World pageant Brewster's rival,
Speaker 1: my friend Laurie. Hello, Laurie, what a joy? Can I
Speaker 1: just thank you for taking this journey with us. We
Speaker 1: are up to episodes eight and not seven and eight,
Speaker 1: seven and eight of Emily seven and eight the Hometown
Speaker 1: and the Fantasy Dates of Emily Maynard season, where we're
Speaker 1: getting to know the new bachelor Ari. Um, Laurie, you've
Speaker 1: been such a hit. And somebody pointed out last week
Speaker 1: on Twitter, which I really appreciated. How did we not
Speaker 1: realize that Ari in that awful Halloween promo looks like
Speaker 1: the Hamburglar and somebody called him the poon Burglar, which
Speaker 1: was so amazing. He fully is the pun Burglar. Shout
Speaker 1: out to our fans. Are brilliant fans for calling out
Speaker 1: the poon Burglar. How good is that that? That was great?
Speaker 1: Thank you for reminding me of that. Yes, that was terrific.
Speaker 1: I'm absolutely accurate and I wanted to him be where
Speaker 1: we get going. I also want to give a shout
Speaker 1: out to say I'm home in Los Angeles for like
Speaker 1: four days. And I actually I book a movie that
Speaker 1: shoots in Atlanta, So I'm not going to be doing
Speaker 1: the Dallas shows have gotten moved to April fifth through seven,
Speaker 1: So I'm not going to be in Dallas December one second.
Speaker 1: On my apologies to anybody that got tickets, I bet
Speaker 1: they would move them to April foot through seventh. Um,
Speaker 1: but I will be in Atlanta. I basically Atlanta has
Speaker 1: captured me. That's what's happening. Well, you know the worst
Speaker 1: places to be captured, you know what. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to act like I'm not enjoying Atlanta. I'm enjoying the
Speaker 1: a t L. It's a lot of trees, there's so
Speaker 1: many good foods there. Everyone's nice. I'm having a good time. Um.
Speaker 1: But let's let's get to the poon Burglar and the
Speaker 1: other exciting news is that um are the Bachelor for
Speaker 1: the first starts January one. I always get really I
Speaker 1: love the Christmas season so much that I get really
Speaker 1: sad when the holidays are over. I love Halloween, I
Speaker 1: love Thanksgiving. My birthday is in December. I love all
Speaker 1: the holidays. I love New Year's and then I get
Speaker 1: kind of depressed every year on January one. But this
Speaker 1: year ABC is going to be a little angel and
Speaker 1: it's starting on Monday, January one, is starting are perfect?
Speaker 1: When you know, I was just thinking with Carrie's I remember,
Speaker 1: and I feel like it must have been right after
Speaker 1: Emily's season. I vacationed with you in the winter and
Speaker 1: her mom yea, And I remember sitting down with you
Speaker 1: and I just, you know, I didn't have anyone to
Speaker 1: complide in in terms of my my bachelor love. And
Speaker 1: I remember asking you, oh, do you watch the Bachelor?
Speaker 1: And he said something dismissive, like, oh, you know, it's
Speaker 1: not it's not true love. And here I was, with
Speaker 1: all this all this information. I was like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's okay. Oh my god, I cannot offer you. I
Speaker 1: hope that this is my living ammends to you. But
Speaker 1: what I was realizing is I really feel like, and
Speaker 1: perhaps it's because we're viewing the season. I feel like
Speaker 1: it was a few months after ended in probably we're
Speaker 1: there all the time, probably, yeah, probably. Can I just
Speaker 1: say how much now? I realizing I see how great
Speaker 1: this season must have been watching in real time. My
Speaker 1: overall takeaway, here's my notes after watching the Hometowns and
Speaker 1: the and the Fantasy suites before we get into them.
Speaker 1: There's a few things that's so interesting about this season.
Speaker 1: First of all, when we get down to the final
Speaker 1: three guys, they're great guys. All three are really good choices.
Speaker 1: And it's the most demure season. I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's because she's a mom. They it is the least
Speaker 1: it was before Tinder, it was before It's like the
Speaker 1: least six diva. Nobody is getting dry humped or fingered
Speaker 1: in a church in Ireland in front of the member
Speaker 1: or of the cranberries, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: like it's the most respectful, gentlemanly this is. They're like
Speaker 1: afraid of her. It's a even though you always call
Speaker 1: her girl. I will say, like like in ten people
Speaker 1: notice a woman. What's happening? Do you hear that? What
Speaker 1: is that? I don't know. I'm gonna pause it for
Speaker 1: a second. We're back. I'm so glad that we're back.
Speaker 1: Um okay, so wait a minute, I mean, don't you
Speaker 1: can't like it is so chased versus like, is that
Speaker 1: how you pronounced it? Chased? Like this is a very
Speaker 1: it is a very old fashioned season of courtship. Yes,
Speaker 1: and you know it has well I think what sort
Speaker 1: of marked the change was during Andy's season and Nick
Speaker 1: nay n the final choice, he said on the couch, um,
Speaker 1: if you you know, if you in love with me,
Speaker 1: why did you make love to me? Really cheesy, and
Speaker 1: but that was sort of the first public acknowledgement that
Speaker 1: that people may have sex in the fantasy suites. So
Speaker 1: you combine that and the fact that Emily is a
Speaker 1: very religious, upstanding mother and she certainly wanted to portray
Speaker 1: herself that way and wanted to be a role model
Speaker 1: to her child, that this was a very innocent season. Well,
Speaker 1: I want to say, I think she's such a great bachelorette.
Speaker 1: I think I find her again. And when we get
Speaker 1: into the more specifics, what's interesting, and part of it
Speaker 1: is because she is a mom, the difference in like
Speaker 1: she's actually they're all actually asking real questions as people
Speaker 1: don't do anymore of like where would we live? How
Speaker 1: does this look? How would it look for you to
Speaker 1: come in? Like I feel like these last few seasons,
Speaker 1: all people do is God, are you for real? I
Speaker 1: just feel like you're not real? Is this real? Like
Speaker 1: nobody's asking like, oh, you live in Toronto and I
Speaker 1: live in Albuquerque, where are we gonna live? Like these
Speaker 1: are actually like this season she's they're all asking each
Speaker 1: other real logistical questions, which I feel like nobody does anymore. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think that's why this season was so credible.
Speaker 1: That's why everybody loved these last three guys. Yes, they
Speaker 1: really were authentic and genuine. And I don't I don't
Speaker 1: care what people say about, you know, Jeff and Ari
Speaker 1: being fake. I really don't believe it because they were
Speaker 1: very genuine to me, to me when I when I interact,
Speaker 1: they weren't really genuine. No, they all seem like really,
Speaker 1: I have to say this year watching it and all
Speaker 1: three guys are really great guys. At the end, it
Speaker 1: bums me out that she's not married to one of them,
Speaker 1: like it bums me out that it didn't work. I know,
Speaker 1: and we'll, I mean, we'll we'll talk about that a
Speaker 1: little bit. But you know, before we get into this,
Speaker 1: there's something that I, um, I want to bring up again,
Speaker 1: and I know it might be a sore topic for you,
Speaker 1: artist is but um, well, my god, I know, I know,
Speaker 1: I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous. Yeah, he's dating that
Speaker 1: girl from Modern Family, Sarah Highland? Is that her name?
Speaker 1: You are asking the wrong person. I only know. I
Speaker 1: only know the Bachelor. Okay, I don't watch The Modern Family.
Speaker 1: I hear she's really funny on it, So I'm glad
Speaker 1: that he at least picked the funny girl. And I'm
Speaker 1: wild with envy. Oh I'm wild. I'm mad with envy,
Speaker 1: and I'm happy for him to be picked a funny girl.
Speaker 1: But but it's like, oh yeah, wow, and I'm happy
Speaker 1: for him. I'm I mean, I hope she's in. You know,
Speaker 1: like my friends who watched the show all seem to
Speaker 1: think that that that's good news. So I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: to trust in this in way that you thought that
Speaker 1: Ari was good news, And I was like, who's this bachelor?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna choose to believe my friends that watch Modern
Speaker 1: Family and are like, no, right on, this is good
Speaker 1: for me to be like, all right, all right, Because
Speaker 1: I also liked Danielle, I guess it's not gonna be me.
Speaker 1: I liked Danielle, and so, uh, you know, if it's
Speaker 1: not Danielle, you know, at least everybody seems to think,
Speaker 1: what do you guys think? Let us know what you
Speaker 1: guys think. Well, he's getting little, he's locking it down.
Speaker 1: He's locking it down. They've got ducked up as stranger
Speaker 1: things together. Um alright, so here we are, we're at
Speaker 1: our hometown dates, and we see her back with her.
Speaker 1: She's a very cute little girl named Ricky Um named
Speaker 1: after her her fiance Ricky who passed away, who I
Speaker 1: looked up, who was apparently worth like sixteen million dollars
Speaker 1: when he passed away. Yeah, she is not wanting her
Speaker 1: money up. Family is taking good care of her. I
Speaker 1: could not figure out that's yeah. I didn't know. I
Speaker 1: don't again, I've never watched NASCAR or anything. I didn't
Speaker 1: know they made that much money. But I guess it's
Speaker 1: like the number one sport. It's like huge. That's that's huge.
Speaker 1: So then, um, so her first hometown dat is in Chicago,
Speaker 1: and it's with Chris, the guy who went on to
Speaker 1: become addicted to um The Bachelor, the one where people
Speaker 1: think looks like a Disney villain. He's in he's dressed
Speaker 1: up for her and his members only jacket and he break.
Speaker 1: I'm liking him less and less on this show. I'm
Speaker 1: finding him to be a big old puss. He brings
Speaker 1: her to this castle in Chicago, and he's got like
Speaker 1: this weird head move and it's like he's always got
Speaker 1: this secret and he's like, I'm really filling into you.
Speaker 1: And his head is kind of moving and it's like
Speaker 1: you stop it. He's grossing me out. That's why he
Speaker 1: brought the bubble heads to Oh my god, he was
Speaker 1: the one that brought the bubble heads. Yeah, that's how
Speaker 1: he moves his head. It's like he kind of looked
Speaker 1: like the Eagle from the Muppets moving his head going well,
Speaker 1: I just think and he's such a guilt trippy baby,
Speaker 1: and like more and more during this and time. I
Speaker 1: was watching it with my friend last night and my
Speaker 1: friend was like, he's drunk through like all of the Like,
Speaker 1: he definitely looks like he's been putting a few away
Speaker 1: through like the Rose ceremony, like the head Bob. It's
Speaker 1: like somebody who's tied one on a little bit and
Speaker 1: it's just trying to get through this, you know, what
Speaker 1: I mean, like he's just you. You can see he's
Speaker 1: a pressure cooker. Oh my god, he's so filled with rage.
Speaker 1: And his last appearance on A Bachelor, a Bachelor episode
Speaker 1: of any any sort, he doesn't remember it. He completely
Speaker 1: blacked out Paradise episode. So yeah, he's he's clearly trying
Speaker 1: to suppress that rage. So we find out he's a
Speaker 1: first generation Polish American and um, did he say he
Speaker 1: was arrested. No, he said I was a meth at
Speaker 1: the Rose ceremony, and um. But he's so like he's
Speaker 1: completely taking the game personally and he will always go
Speaker 1: you know, I was mad at you first, saying, why
Speaker 1: do you want to see their family more than you
Speaker 1: want to meet my anyone has that into their families
Speaker 1: and anybody that's a self proclaimed mama's boy, Like you
Speaker 1: don't want a guy that hates their mom. I'll take
Speaker 1: a mama's boy over a guy that if they hate
Speaker 1: their mom, they will also hate you. But mama's boy, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's not my favorite. He was such a little bit.
Speaker 1: It was just like when people like, look, I like
Speaker 1: my family. My family is hilarious, like Jennumary, and like
Speaker 1: they're they're they're hilarious. But if I'm like so into
Speaker 1: my family, like, do I need to meet my fun
Speaker 1: Like I'm going to drag out as long as possible
Speaker 1: before you go meet my family, you know, like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, Yeah, I just like I really don't think
Speaker 1: the first thing I want is like, I don't know
Speaker 1: anybody that's so into their family, because that means that
Speaker 1: they're gonna expect you to move to their hometown and
Speaker 1: all their filmily and their cousins. Oh. I would just
Speaker 1: remember Vanessa's family up in like like French Canadian there
Speaker 1: was like fourteen thousand of them and they have like
Speaker 1: they have a good awkward Sunday meal every Sunday. Anybody
Speaker 1: that has that much extended there never you were getting
Speaker 1: sucked in. I would just feel rebellious and captured. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you know I got the sense said he was
Speaker 1: really close to his family, Like he said he talked
Speaker 1: to him as well. He talked for an hour on
Speaker 1: the phone with his mom like every other day. He said, Oh,
Speaker 1: that's right, that's too much. And then he was like,
Speaker 1: I have a really tough little sister, oh name, which
Speaker 1: I appreciated. She was the only one, you know, viewing
Speaker 1: this situation with with open eyes, and she essentially told
Speaker 1: Emily let go with him. Yeah, if he's not the one,
Speaker 1: just let him go right away. I mean, he had
Speaker 1: his family was really nice. He did he had a
Speaker 1: very his dad was really sweet. Um, you know, his
Speaker 1: mom had frosted hair. His sister kind of looks like
Speaker 1: Emily um, and and mentioned, She's fine, what is that
Speaker 1: are you? What is there like a crackle? What is
Speaker 1: that crackling thing? Kind of okay? Um, the sister kind
Speaker 1: of look like Emily. And and Emily basically told one
Speaker 1: of the family members that she was falling in love
Speaker 1: with him, which is kind of awkward. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: I went back and watched that she was talking to
Speaker 1: his dad, but she was talking to his father and
Speaker 1: he asked if she's feeling feelings of love for something,
Speaker 1: and she said yes. And then he tells Chris that
Speaker 1: she told him that she's falling in love with him.
Speaker 1: I think feeling feelings of love is much different than
Speaker 1: falling in love. And then he said with his head,
Speaker 1: bubble head, I'm in love with you. And then they
Speaker 1: kissed and then they did polish dancing that actually looked
Speaker 1: fun and made me want to actually, like I would
Speaker 1: be happy. I'd have me to go once and do that.
Speaker 1: It's like that looked fun their backyard porch, like with
Speaker 1: the fiddle, that that looks fun. Yeah, I could do that.
Speaker 1: I could do that. And and he was able to finally,
Speaker 1: uh make up for the fact that he couldn't dance
Speaker 1: at all on his no. I will say I thought
Speaker 1: his family was sweet once they got there, and I
Speaker 1: thought the backyard porch, But the way he talked about them,
Speaker 1: and that he's he's called himself a mama's but he
Speaker 1: talked on the phone for an hour, It's like, yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So then we go to Utah. We find out that
Speaker 1: Jeff is rich. We find out that Jeff is rich.
Speaker 1: His family has a ranch um and they go on
Speaker 1: this crazy there's this crazy four wheel v wheel or
Speaker 1: vehicle of which I've never looked like. It was like
Speaker 1: a moon land rover, like a moon rover, and they
Speaker 1: go driving and then they it's a huge ranch and
Speaker 1: they shoot guns and rifles, and she says, who knew
Speaker 1: Jeff and his skinny jeans was such a good shot,
Speaker 1: And then turns out she's a good shot. And she
Speaker 1: says I take gun lessons at home. Yeah, they were.
Speaker 1: I was wondering whether whether they would have that type
Speaker 1: of date nowadays, if they would have the you know,
Speaker 1: the ski shooting gun date. It felt weird. I felt
Speaker 1: uncomfortable with everything that's been going on in the world.
Speaker 1: I felt nervous watching a gun a gun date. I mean,
Speaker 1: what kind of fun. I mean, they're out in the
Speaker 1: middle of nowhere. But it was like, it's just, you know,
Speaker 1: it looked kind of fun. It was just like I
Speaker 1: wonder if they would have it as well. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it looks super fun to me. Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: just I was wondering about that, whether that would occur nowadays.
Speaker 1: But um, what was interesting was they never said but
Speaker 1: it's pretty It's pretty clear. Jeff is from a Mormon family.
Speaker 1: He has like a thousand very attractive blondes of liings
Speaker 1: and all of their children. The parents aren't there because
Speaker 1: I think the parents are having the silent protests, sort
Speaker 1: of like Rachel's judge dad. And then he's got this
Speaker 1: brother who sort of stepped into the fatherly role and
Speaker 1: was very skeptical and she had to go deal with
Speaker 1: like all these sisters that again kind of looked like
Speaker 1: her that had gotten blowouts that were like um, and
Speaker 1: then they were staying like the brother grilled her and
Speaker 1: he was kind of gross. He was like they and
Speaker 1: they pointed out that they were having a cheers with lemonade.
Speaker 1: And then he says, is your life built on sound principles?
Speaker 1: Like it was all just dancing around. It was a strange.
Speaker 1: It was dancing around Mormonism, which I really I really appreciated. UM.
Speaker 1: There was one moment where Jeff was talking and he
Speaker 1: they dubbed in um a phrase. So initially he probably
Speaker 1: said something like my parents are on a mission in
Speaker 1: South Carolina the way they dubbed it in. And she
Speaker 1: started talking and and and he said, my parents are
Speaker 1: doing like charity work in South Carolina. Yet you're different.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're right. ABC was char like they
Speaker 1: did not know what to do with the Mormons. They
Speaker 1: His voice was so incredibly different with that dubbing. It's like,
Speaker 1: just do another take three months later and just have
Speaker 1: them say the phrase an interview on cares are charity work.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is so true. It's fascinating that
Speaker 1: they're so nervous. It's like it's okay that they're Mormon's like,
Speaker 1: it's okay that they're toasting with lemonade. It's okay that
Speaker 1: they're on a mission. Like the way they were kind
Speaker 1: of hiding it so much weirder, you know, tell me
Speaker 1: about it. It's so strange. Yeah. Um. And then the
Speaker 1: brother is grilling Jeff. He's if he's really ready to
Speaker 1: be a dad, which is a good point. Um. But
Speaker 1: then at the end of it, he wrote her this
Speaker 1: love letter that was so cute. Oh, it was so cute.
Speaker 1: It's like, it's like, it's only The Bachelor was this
Speaker 1: good every season. It was so cute that I remember
Speaker 1: when that that was the episode. I remember thinking, this,
Speaker 1: the game has totally changed. Ari was in the lead,
Speaker 1: and with that letter. I remember rewinding that five years
Speaker 1: ago and watching him read that letter over and over again.
Speaker 1: And I have to say, I did it again the
Speaker 1: other night. It was so good, so good, and and
Speaker 1: my favorite part of it was then you know, of
Speaker 1: course he's talking about how she's such a good person
Speaker 1: and he wants a cute little family and um, and
Speaker 1: that she's funny and she fits into his arms. But
Speaker 1: then when he starts talking about how he's excited to
Speaker 1: meet Ricky and he wants to teach her how to
Speaker 1: play sports. Her eyes closed, and she starts to take
Speaker 1: it all in and she and she just a warm
Speaker 1: smile spreads across her face, and he tells and then
Speaker 1: he keeps talking and he says, I want to teach
Speaker 1: her how to fall in love and have a love
Speaker 1: story that lasts forever, because I'll love you forever. I mean,
Speaker 1: my freaking god, there's never been a better letter on
Speaker 1: The Bachelor. He I mean, he got his landed. He
Speaker 1: here's that here. I also want to point out I
Speaker 1: think we can talk about it now because I am
Speaker 1: at home. Okay, So, so I bought in Atlanta. I've
Speaker 1: been watching and I bought this season before ABC put
Speaker 1: it online. I would have I bought it on Amazon
Speaker 1: for fifteen bucks. So I've been watching it on my compute.
Speaker 1: But now I'm home and I have like an Apple TV,
Speaker 1: so I have the ABC app, so I'd rather watch
Speaker 1: it on TV. So I've been watching it a BC
Speaker 1: and I'm going to guess most of our listeners are
Speaker 1: watching on ABC. If there's any doubt about who wins,
Speaker 1: there fucking ads that they run during this show are
Speaker 1: like bound out out all. He's well film of Lorii
Speaker 1: bow no no no, his first kids, down to his
Speaker 1: unexpected goodbye, and they show her they like it's like, assholes,
Speaker 1: were only on episode six here, Like, I mean, I
Speaker 1: guess we kind of know that he doesn't win, but
Speaker 1: like they show the breakup every fifteen minutes in their
Speaker 1: fucking d yes on their ads during the show that
Speaker 1: you're like, I'm not even there yet, He's still in it, assholes. Oh,
Speaker 1: I had no idea. I prefer to watch on my
Speaker 1: laptop in the dark. Okay, I don't have children, though,
Speaker 1: I don't have children, so I don't. But here's so,
Speaker 1: here's my question, because I don't think it's a surprise.
Speaker 1: Why didn't they work out? Why didn't they work out? Well?
Speaker 1: I mean, do you want to wait? You want to
Speaker 1: be ways different people? Right? I mean their their love
Speaker 1: story right essentially consisted of four really terrific dates. But
Speaker 1: there's they seem to be very different people. But it's
Speaker 1: hard for me to um to work through my emotions
Speaker 1: around their their breaking. Should we wait till we'll wait
Speaker 1: till after the final rose, We'll wait? Okay, Okay, you
Speaker 1: know what, Laurie, you have one week to process. Thankfully, Thankfully,
Speaker 1: you're you. I think you you have the right person
Speaker 1: on your life that can help you process. And luck,
Speaker 1: I'm in a therapist. You're in and she I just said,
Speaker 1: you know, Laurie has two little children and she goes
Speaker 1: to a therapists office where she can record and it's
Speaker 1: your weekly therapy. It's my weekly therapy too. It's absolutely
Speaker 1: fair on a therapist couch. It is my weekly therapy too. Okay. So,
Speaker 1: by the way, how rich is Jeff? Like that was
Speaker 1: rich kids stuff? They're rich? Yeah? I think I think
Speaker 1: he's he's independently wealthy. And so he's a he's busy
Speaker 1: doing his volunteer slash nonprofit work abroad. Okay, you know,
Speaker 1: you know it sucks. So he now lives and he
Speaker 1: lives with the Falcon and dated, I eat lipstick over Christmas,
Speaker 1: over over, okay, over the summer. He's friends with Chase
Speaker 1: as well, who is very hot and very boring. So boring, nice,
Speaker 1: hot and boring. Okay. So that okay, So then we
Speaker 1: get to our new burn. Now now now you feel love.
Speaker 1: Here we are we're at the with the poon Burglar,
Speaker 1: We're in Scott's Jale. We're at aries and I'm like,
Speaker 1: how do you become a fucking race car driver? I
Speaker 1: don't understand? And I was like, oh, you grow up.
Speaker 1: His dad won the Indie five hundred. Right, So they're
Speaker 1: they're in scott Dale, and he's like, my family's really European.
Speaker 1: My dad so he's from the Netherlands, Right, what does
Speaker 1: that mean? Sympathize with having a European parent, because it's true,
Speaker 1: it's a very big difference than having an American parents.
Speaker 1: Tell me in what way your dad is from Germany? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, my my dad is German. Um, it is
Speaker 1: well clear. One thing that doesn't translate very well, even
Speaker 1: if somebody's been living in the United States for a
Speaker 1: long time is oftentimes the sense of humor doesn't really
Speaker 1: connect that well. So um, and you know, I think
Speaker 1: they're different expectations. Clearly, his parents were much more formal seeming, right,
Speaker 1: so um, they seemed a little bit more guarded than
Speaker 1: Emily's interactions with other American families, and so um, it
Speaker 1: was it was interesting to see that that interaction. So
Speaker 1: we go and we me He warned that the dad
Speaker 1: was gonna be nice and easy and that the mom
Speaker 1: was gonna be tricky, and the mom, I actually can't
Speaker 1: wait now for our season until they have to go
Speaker 1: and deal with the mom like she's a handful, Like
Speaker 1: she's a handful not as bad as Brand's mom, but
Speaker 1: she's on part with Joe, Joe and Brian's mom, all
Speaker 1: of whom have like international moms. It's interesting. Um, So
Speaker 1: the mom shows up and she the mom looks like
Speaker 1: Emily's sister and his sister looks like his mom, and
Speaker 1: his sister again says nothing. His sister says nothing, and
Speaker 1: the mom is like, this hot blonde what is the Netherlands?
Speaker 1: Is that Holland? What is that? What are they speaking?
Speaker 1: Are you talking about the lane that they're speaking Dutch?
Speaker 1: They're speaking Dutch. Okay. So, so the mom starts being
Speaker 1: so rude and like, um talking about her in front
Speaker 1: of her, just starts speaking Dutch to Ari in front
Speaker 1: of Emily excluding her. She's so clearly is looking at
Speaker 1: like the ghost of Christmas Path, like she's a blonde
Speaker 1: beauty who's clearly threatened by this young blonde beauty. And
Speaker 1: so she starts just talking about her in front of
Speaker 1: her in Dutch. It was so rude in her own home.
Speaker 1: That was a little awkward. Yeah, I was surprised by that.
Speaker 1: And then, um, the mom's plastic surgery was amazing. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, I I was talking about that with my
Speaker 1: wife and I said this, she had plastic surgery, and
Speaker 1: she was insisting, Oh, I think she's just not truly beautiful.
Speaker 1: And I don't know. She's in Scottsdale, which is really
Speaker 1: I've done a lot of stand up in Scottsdale. There's
Speaker 1: a I think that's just the deal. You go, you
Speaker 1: get your lips done. Like it's a beautiful place. All
Speaker 1: the women are beautiful. I actually really like Scottsdale. But like,
Speaker 1: you're gonna go get your lips done. You're married to
Speaker 1: a race car driver. You go get your lips and
Speaker 1: your gets done. That's just the deal. Okay, Okay, so
Speaker 1: that's that's what I know. I think it's the lips.
Speaker 1: Her name is Meeka, and she's a handful and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna guess that time has only made her a little
Speaker 1: bit crazier because they're skeptical of the whole process, and
Speaker 1: now their son is the bachelor. So just wait for
Speaker 1: whenever the final two have to meet Meeka she's a
Speaker 1: fucking handful. Um he says to his mother that he's
Speaker 1: definitely going to marry Emily. That was interesting. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: thought he was marrying Emily. And he even said, poor Emily,
Speaker 1: I could never be in your shoes and until they
Speaker 1: call on me to be in your shoes, and then
Speaker 1: I'll gladly be in your shoes. Oh my god, the
Speaker 1: poon burglar. That was such an embarrassing eyemask, Oh, the
Speaker 1: puon burglar. I think that's gotta be the name of
Speaker 1: this week's episode. So then, um, so then we are
Speaker 1: in Dallas and we're at Shawn's hometown and Sean has
Speaker 1: his dogs and we hear about he had one three years.
Speaker 1: They kept saying how he's never had a relationship. He's
Speaker 1: twenty eight, he had one three year relationship. How many
Speaker 1: else are you supposed to like that seems like you've
Speaker 1: had a relationship, like, and he kept calling her the
Speaker 1: sweetest girl ever. It's like and then everyone's like why
Speaker 1: what was I was like, Well, he didn't want to
Speaker 1: get into the bones one with her, Like he had
Speaker 1: a nice girl. He didn't want to get into the
Speaker 1: bones zone with her. He's super Christian and like I
Speaker 1: don't think there's anything wrong with what that's fine anyway,
Speaker 1: but there's no sexual chemistry. But he is such a
Speaker 1: nice guy. He's so sweet. And then they go to
Speaker 1: his house that's sort of a McMansion in the suburbs,
Speaker 1: and they meet his niece who has the douche ist.
Speaker 1: She has this thing. Her name is Kensington. She looks
Speaker 1: to be about six or seven, and she has a
Speaker 1: house like like a most of well, I remember I
Speaker 1: had like a cardboard box that I made into my mansion.
Speaker 1: It was like, I think it was like a refrigerator
Speaker 1: box that I'd like cut doors in, a window in,
Speaker 1: and it was like my little playhouse, you know. It
Speaker 1: was like somebody threw out a refrigerator cardboard box. This
Speaker 1: chick has like a full one bedroom apartment house in
Speaker 1: the backyard that's called with this sign that says Kensington's Cottage.
Speaker 1: That even has like a wall unit air conditioner inside.
Speaker 1: Half a million dollars. Oh my god, in l you
Speaker 1: could probably get that for like seven thousand dollars. It's
Speaker 1: like it's like that's flat in the back. But did
Speaker 1: you notice that that four year old niece or whatever
Speaker 1: was wearing a full face of makeup. No. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I had deposit because I said, oh my god, is
Speaker 1: that child. Is that child wearing makeup? I need to
Speaker 1: see that. Yeah, you need to rewind because especially when
Speaker 1: when they first meet, I looked at it, I said,
Speaker 1: I think that child is wearing makeup, and so it
Speaker 1: sort of stood into the you know, her having her
Speaker 1: own commage, Kensington's cottage. That is a recipe for you
Speaker 1: are creating hell in her attic. Watch out about what's
Speaker 1: happening in Kensington's cottage when she's like six, Like she
Speaker 1: is going to be throwing a party, Like, Wow, you
Speaker 1: better hope she's not rebellious. Yeah, seriously, that could be.
Speaker 1: That could be. So then they play a practical joke
Speaker 1: on Emily. He has two terrible practical jokes. The first
Speaker 1: one is and his family seems very nice. They're not silly,
Speaker 1: but they're very nice. And again there's a lot of
Speaker 1: them and they're all staring at her, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I have one thing to tell you. I still live here.
Speaker 1: I mean I don't have to, but why wouldn't I
Speaker 1: And it's in front of everybody, and then he brings
Speaker 1: up to see his room, but it's so clearly been
Speaker 1: produced by producers where there's clothes hanging everywhere and like
Speaker 1: stuffed animals and dirty like broken cookies not on plates,
Speaker 1: and then that's his joke, but it's like an unkind
Speaker 1: joke that he's done. Yeah, you know, I like how
Speaker 1: he pretends and this is sort of continued throughout the
Speaker 1: years that that he's just like wild and crazy guy.
Speaker 1: He's he's a joker, when when really he's actually I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't mean to be me, but he's he's kind
Speaker 1: of a drip. He's so boring, and you know, he's
Speaker 1: he thinks he's he's like it's so funny and that
Speaker 1: he's this joker guy and that you know, he tells
Speaker 1: his dad jokes on Twitter, which I appreciate, but he's not.
Speaker 1: He's not the joker. No, trust me. I know a
Speaker 1: lot of funny people. You are one of them. He
Speaker 1: is not one of them. He's not one of them.
Speaker 1: You know, he's funny. I think Alex the Russian is funny.
Speaker 1: His Instagram videos, he's funny. Yeah, that's why I would
Speaker 1: say he's funny. Um um so yeah he so then
Speaker 1: uh so then they go and then he goes in
Speaker 1: for a kiss at the end, and I screamed, and
Speaker 1: then you actually send me a screen grab. It was
Speaker 1: like a lizard tongue, like laughing, like licking the top
Speaker 1: of her his tongue. She clearly is not that into
Speaker 1: him physically, and like his tongue was like licking the
Speaker 1: roof of her mouth, and I thought I was going.
Speaker 1: I was screaming and horrified. Yeah, it's kind of like
Speaker 1: when a cat tries to lick its paw and accidentally
Speaker 1: hits her hand. It's so I don't know. It was
Speaker 1: like getting licked by like a golden retriever, like lapping
Speaker 1: or like a cat lapping up milk, and just like
Speaker 1: just the tiniest bit, it was just like the tip
Speaker 1: of the just the tip of the top. It was disgusted. Okay,
Speaker 1: So then they go and I don't know why. They
Speaker 1: fly all the way to Beverly Hill to the Peninsul Hotel,
Speaker 1: which seems like a long way to go for no reason. Um,
Speaker 1: and she has to go stare at the pier one
Speaker 1: frames before the rose ceremony and she's talking to Chris Harrison,
Speaker 1: who like they dust off from his closet and um,
Speaker 1: and she's really upset and she cuts Chris, who's such
Speaker 1: a deck like he's, well, what did I do? Well? What? What?
Speaker 1: Like he there was nothing gentlemanly or manly about how
Speaker 1: he took the breakup, thoughts Laura, Yeah, well it's I mean,
Speaker 1: he looked again livid, and he said to her how
Speaker 1: much faster could it possibly move? I told you I
Speaker 1: loved you? And then you know, and then when they
Speaker 1: carted him away and the limo, he said, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: ten times the man of all those dudes still standing there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he was a tool. And he looked hammered at the ceremony,
Speaker 1: like just hammered, and he looked like he wanted to
Speaker 1: punch a wall, like he wanted to like Rach, he
Speaker 1: he looked like the guy that he I would have
Speaker 1: put by if you were like who went and shot
Speaker 1: a gun into the ground, I would have guessed him.
Speaker 1: I know it wasn't him, I know it was Doug,
Speaker 1: but it feels like it would have been Chriss. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree. Um, okay. So then we're at our spinal
Speaker 1: lit so they we're breaking down, which is the fantasy sweets,
Speaker 1: and they're going to the Bahamas and they're going to
Speaker 1: what town you tell? Oh, no, we missed the final tag.
Speaker 1: They played a joke on her, and the joke was
Speaker 1: at Chris's house. Was that his specialty is the like
Speaker 1: cooked an armadillo and served as her. I wanted to
Speaker 1: fucking throw up. I mean, I will say that that
Speaker 1: his dad seemed really really sweet. Um, but that steamed armadillo.
Speaker 1: And and again she just rolled with it. She said, well,
Speaker 1: if that's Sean's favorite, I guess we'd better try it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that was that was pretty pretty repulsive. And
Speaker 1: you know they're they're pressuring that sweet old past her
Speaker 1: father to give her steam armadillo when Billy he just
Speaker 1: wants to, I don't know, say prayers with her. Is
Speaker 1: he passed her? You know? I for summer that I
Speaker 1: feel like he is because he ended up marrying um
Speaker 1: Sean and Catherine. Um, but I I know that, you know,
Speaker 1: either way, he has a lot of religion in his heart.
Speaker 1: So UM, I felt bad for him that he he
Speaker 1: was forced to do these mean pranks. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: All right, so then we go we're at the Fantasy
Speaker 1: suits and we're in ciros out Curos out Curricow Bahamas,
Speaker 1: which I do got hit by the hurricane pretty bad.
Speaker 1: Like it actually was one of the best fantasy suitets.
Speaker 1: Look like. The hotel looks really good. The difference between
Speaker 1: this and the one they had this year, like they
Speaker 1: had really it's the kind of hotel you would want
Speaker 1: for a fantasy suite, like back in the day when
Speaker 1: you would get a nice indoor pool and stuff like.
Speaker 1: It was a nice cute hotel. Yeah, it was really cute. Um.
Speaker 1: So her first date up so Scritch Chris, and the
Speaker 1: remaining three are the poon Burglar. We've got Jeff the
Speaker 1: hipster Mormon, and Sean uh uncle to Kensington's Palace. And
Speaker 1: she does not feel it. She's like, when I'm with Sean,
Speaker 1: I have butterflies in my heart. But she knows. But
Speaker 1: there's no tickling in her underpants place. There's no nothing
Speaker 1: happening in her undercarriage, you know exactly. And it likes
Speaker 1: the fact that he would be a good father, He
Speaker 1: would be a great father, He would be a great
Speaker 1: dad in a great husband. He's such a nice, solid guy.
Speaker 1: Well guess what you're in luck. He announced this week
Speaker 1: that he and Catherine are having a second shock. That
Speaker 1: makes me so happy because watching this It makes me
Speaker 1: happy to know that things turn out well for him
Speaker 1: because he's a really good guy. Yeah, he is a
Speaker 1: good guy. Can be like. He's the pride and joy
Speaker 1: of the Bachelor. He's the only bachelor minus Jason Mesnick,
Speaker 1: who married his runner up choice. But he's the only
Speaker 1: bachelor that Mary disfers the choice when nois Jason mesnixt season? Uh,
Speaker 1: it was it was a long time ago one was
Speaker 1: it before this? Was it before this? Oh? Yeah, here's
Speaker 1: my problem with watching this. To me, it feels like
Speaker 1: watching like a sporting event that happened seven years ago.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? It's like it's fun
Speaker 1: in real time. Yeah, well I agree, it's it's much
Speaker 1: better in real time. But you at love next season? Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, all right, I blame it. You are my
Speaker 1: Yoda of the Bachelor. I mean, this is my amends
Speaker 1: to you for my when you were trying to connect
Speaker 1: up in the Green Mountains and I shut you down,
Speaker 1: And this is my nice Have you ever watched the bedroom? Hey,
Speaker 1: have you ever seen? Have you ever seen this thing?
Speaker 1: But you know what, but you know you planted the
Speaker 1: season the ground there because I gave birth to this
Speaker 1: in Vermont two years ago on that same um, I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, I need, I need, I
Speaker 1: need this to happen. And now we're coming up on
Speaker 1: our two year anniversary. My baby's almost two, My baby
Speaker 1: can I don't know what happens when you two? What
Speaker 1: are you talking? I don't know you can you feed
Speaker 1: yourself a solt of diaper? I don't know, I don't know. Okay,
Speaker 1: So then she's on a helicopter date with him and
Speaker 1: Kirakirasau and uh, she is can I just say we
Speaker 1: don't think we even pointed out. She told when that
Speaker 1: who is the guy? That was like, you better not
Speaker 1: get fat? Who is the villain? Ryan? Ryan? She is
Speaker 1: so fucking cute And she told Ryan that she doesn't
Speaker 1: ever work out. If you see her, she's like in cute.
Speaker 1: She's not sexy like Jojo or whatever, Like she's in
Speaker 1: the cutest version of mom wear and stuff. But she
Speaker 1: has such a banging body, Like she's so won the
Speaker 1: genetic lottery. I could work out even at the age
Speaker 1: of eighteen with a with a personal trainer and have
Speaker 1: food delivery for fifteen years and not look like she
Speaker 1: looks in a bikini doing nothing. Yeah, yeah, she's so cute.
Speaker 1: So um, they had they're going to private island and uh,
Speaker 1: we hear about his pet. Your family said that you
Speaker 1: talked your past girlfriends were more like buddies. And she's like, basically,
Speaker 1: she's upset that he hasn't said I love you. And
Speaker 1: there he is. If he's sitting there and he's blond,
Speaker 1: and he's getting more and more sunburned on this private island.
Speaker 1: He's trying to work up the nerve to say I
Speaker 1: love you, and she keeps just saying and he's wondering
Speaker 1: how you feel, and she's basically just asking, like, say
Speaker 1: I love even though she knows she's not going to
Speaker 1: pick him, she's forcing him to say I love you.
Speaker 1: And um. And then he wrote Ricky a letter that
Speaker 1: he read to her that was so sweet. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1: It was very sweet. But did you notice when he
Speaker 1: was reading her that letter though, that she looked slightly uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: I mean, clearly she was pleased, but it was as
Speaker 1: if she already knew she was sending him home, because
Speaker 1: you know, he wrote the sweet letter about how he's
Speaker 1: not going to replace Ricky to Ricky that he's not
Speaker 1: going to replace her father. But don't forget that you're
Speaker 1: my daughter, and I hope to honor you by loving
Speaker 1: your mom. But she but Emily looks like she's barely
Speaker 1: holding it together. Yeah, he was really nailing it. He
Speaker 1: was so true and good and sweet and such a
Speaker 1: good guy. Yeah. And it was the first I believe
Speaker 1: it was the first indication, um that he was born
Speaker 1: again version yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. He said that he
Speaker 1: made a promise to himself that he was not going
Speaker 1: to give himself to a woman um or she was
Speaker 1: not going to allow a woman to give herself to him.
Speaker 1: He could not reciprocate. Yes, And then, Okay, I do
Speaker 1: want to say, as I was watching these two on
Speaker 1: the beach and it's like Barbie and Ken and blah
Speaker 1: blah blah, and I thought, I want to see just too.
Speaker 1: I want to see a bachelor with just regular looking people,
Speaker 1: just regular old folks. To somebody, you know, I was
Speaker 1: like a person who's like a check out at a
Speaker 1: grocery store in any old town like that. You don't
Speaker 1: have to be looking like Barbie and Ken to truly
Speaker 1: fall like I want to see a bachelor of this
Speaker 1: regular people. Well, don't you think that's kind of what
Speaker 1: Ari is. I mean, Ari is good looking, but he's
Speaker 1: not like, he's not a hipster. He's got hot, regular cut.
Speaker 1: He's a hot rich kid race car driver. She's a tall,
Speaker 1: hot rich kid race car driver that she was so
Speaker 1: attracted to she couldn't stand it. Like he's a hot
Speaker 1: rich kid race car driver. He has no trouble. He's
Speaker 1: a boon burglar, I mean Nick. And some ways, before
Speaker 1: he got all roydy, before his season, like was the
Speaker 1: most normal in his like like Irish sweaters, you know, like,
Speaker 1: and then he got all built too. Yeah, yeah, he
Speaker 1: was pretty home and then he got all and then
Speaker 1: he got all hot. So um so she offered him
Speaker 1: the skeleton key, which I'm glad they don't do the
Speaker 1: skeleton key anymore the fantasy suits, and he said, second
Speaker 1: indication that he was born a good version. I would
Speaker 1: love to stay up and chat and be with you.
Speaker 1: And and then she chooses to leave after she invites
Speaker 1: him there. She says, I'm a mom, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I need it doesn't line up with what I believe,
Speaker 1: and she leaves, and I thought, I'll be curious to
Speaker 1: see if you stay all night with Jeff and Ari,
Speaker 1: but clearly as a mom, she didn't want anybody mistaking
Speaker 1: that she might be borne in these dudes, which I
Speaker 1: thought was smart. I mean, I don't know people are
Speaker 1: so I'm sure they would be hard on her as
Speaker 1: a single mom anyway, going on, Oh yeah, sure. So
Speaker 1: then Jeff is up. It's a windy day. They're going
Speaker 1: on a boat. She's like, are you nervous? And they're
Speaker 1: going to this boat. He has some weird tattoo on
Speaker 1: his wrist. What does it say, Laurie? Oh, I thought
Speaker 1: you might ask me that I don't. I don't remember
Speaker 1: to be honest with you. And then he had questions
Speaker 1: about Ricky. He had practical questions, he told us. And
Speaker 1: he kept saying, she's an amazing girl. And I thought
Speaker 1: color a woman, but all right, and then um, she said,
Speaker 1: you ignite a self confidence in me. That was so sweet.
Speaker 1: And they he as he handed the letter to she
Speaker 1: handed the letter to him. They had this whole date.
Speaker 1: They it was this beautiful date. He basically he said
Speaker 1: no to the fantasy sweets. So it was basically like,
Speaker 1: I respect you enough and our families are going to
Speaker 1: be watching this, so you have a born again virgin
Speaker 1: and a Mormon that she's brought for the first two
Speaker 1: fantasy sweets and and she's mad because she wanted to
Speaker 1: reject him. He basically rejects her, but she's like, what
Speaker 1: do you go hang out with me? And while they're
Speaker 1: like sitting on this bed in this hot chatting, you
Speaker 1: can see a shadow of a cameraman moving around with them,
Speaker 1: like it I didn't catch that. It was like these days,
Speaker 1: you know, like you just know people are going in
Speaker 1: there to seal the deal. And she's got a born
Speaker 1: again virgin and a Mormon. No one will even pretend
Speaker 1: to try to get at it with this girl. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I really appreciate I just did it with
Speaker 1: this woman. I just did it with this woman. Okay,
Speaker 1: keep going. You know, I appreciated the questions that Jeff asked.
Speaker 1: So for instance, when he said, do you think I
Speaker 1: would make a good parent, and she said yes. Normally
Speaker 1: in the Bachelor that would be the end of it.
Speaker 1: But he asks her essentially to elaborate and says why,
Speaker 1: And so I really appreciated sort of the substantive conversation,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, and how she said that you know,
Speaker 1: she could keep him out of trouble and he could
Speaker 1: get her into a little more trouble. And you know,
Speaker 1: I really appreciated that he was the most honest. He
Speaker 1: kept saying, I don't doubt I don't doubt that we're
Speaker 1: crazy about each other, but I do doubt that we
Speaker 1: can work in the real world. And he asked where
Speaker 1: would we live, how would this work? How would they like?
Speaker 1: These are the most real conversations I've ever seen on
Speaker 1: The Bachelor. Yeah, yeah, And I do appreciate his confidence, um,
Speaker 1: and that you know, in previous relationships, he hasn't been
Speaker 1: able to see the end goal and now he can
Speaker 1: see the picture of perfect ending and he can't imagine
Speaker 1: two people being more perfect for each other. Um. So cute.
Speaker 1: It was so cute. And he asks a lot about
Speaker 1: whether she thinks that he would be a good fit
Speaker 1: with Ricky. Um. So it's just it's just a really
Speaker 1: really sweet date. And and part of me wondered that
Speaker 1: they if they filmed the episode, and she said, I
Speaker 1: want to be a good role model to Ricky and
Speaker 1: you know, to America, And then the cameras went off,
Speaker 1: and then she called him back and said, come on,
Speaker 1: you think I hope So I hope that she got
Speaker 1: to go to the pun Zoe. He's Mormon, I don't
Speaker 1: think he would want to do it. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: here's the thing is, I feel like he is his
Speaker 1: family is Mormon, but he has left the religions. Well,
Speaker 1: and you're living with the falcon in Venice and and
Speaker 1: dating cat offs from the batchelor, I'm gonna guess you're
Speaker 1: probably not an adult male virgin. Yeah. No, I think
Speaker 1: that he is not. I think even when he was
Speaker 1: filming this, I and I don't remember, you know, how
Speaker 1: I got to this point, but I feel like he
Speaker 1: had already left the religion, and so I think he
Speaker 1: is a little bit wilder than we're giving him credit for.
Speaker 1: So then we're up to the poon Burglar and they're
Speaker 1: going swimming with dolphins, and at the very end of credits,
Speaker 1: they think the dolphin it was like like the dolphins school.
Speaker 1: Basically they were rented. Like it looked like you could
Speaker 1: just take a boat and find dolphin swim. You know,
Speaker 1: they like brought in trained dolphins that you know how
Speaker 1: dolphins sometimes hump people. These dolphins he spent the entire
Speaker 1: so they're snargling and it's sell this is Ari, and
Speaker 1: it felt like he spent the entire day like it
Speaker 1: felt like the dolphin wanted to hump him as so bad,
Speaker 1: like and he spent the entire day kind of pushing
Speaker 1: the dolphin away. I had to tell you, I like
Speaker 1: the dolphins, Like she could not get away from that dolphin,
Speaker 1: and he kind of kept pushing it away with the
Speaker 1: dolph because dolphins hump, they like attack and like get
Speaker 1: at it with people. Well, maybe they just sense the
Speaker 1: energy between them. Dude, how much would you pay? Like,
Speaker 1: I don't obviously want an assault on her, but I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have minded like two creepy thrust like coming just
Speaker 1: watching like I wouldn't have mind like just seeing like
Speaker 1: all right, let's just get out of the wall like
Speaker 1: like that. If they maybe had to get on the
Speaker 1: boat because the dolphin wouldn't leave her along, it was
Speaker 1: pretty great. Yeah, but you know that dolphins hump people.
Speaker 1: I didn't. Oh yeah, you should google it. Is that
Speaker 1: why Alexis chose to be the dolphin? Oh? My god? Maybe? Maybe? Maybe?
Speaker 1: So then she's like, what's your favorite moment? He was like,
Speaker 1: my favorite moment was this, this and the walk And
Speaker 1: she's like, all your favorite moments involved kissing and and
Speaker 1: he's like, that's right, you know, and then there but
Speaker 1: she seemed kind of bummed about it, but he didn't
Speaker 1: care at all. We're back and we're still going. And
Speaker 1: then so they're walking and they go on a date
Speaker 1: and they're kissing and kissing and she's like, I love
Speaker 1: kissing Ari, and I'm like, is he going to go
Speaker 1: into the fantasy streets? So there, he's like, she has
Speaker 1: these crazy ass like Jessica Simpson type two thousand twelve
Speaker 1: platforms on on cobblestones and uh, but she's sort of
Speaker 1: almost mad at him for just being sexy. She's like,
Speaker 1: I don't know what you do on a Tuesday morning.
Speaker 1: And he was so I find him to have such
Speaker 1: a nice disposition. And he was basically saying, I like
Speaker 1: being around people. I sleep still nine, I go into
Speaker 1: the shop. I like to be with people. I basically
Speaker 1: go out for every meal and when you're single, year
Speaker 1: alone a lot, and I like to be with people.
Speaker 1: And I found him to be very likable. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: he was very likable. I certainly empathized with her reaction. However,
Speaker 1: when he said kind of until nine o'clock that would
Speaker 1: be such a red flag if your passes up every
Speaker 1: morning at six am with your kid. Yeah, so I
Speaker 1: I certainly saw a little bit of fear in her eyes.
Speaker 1: And then he said, I want to thank you. You
Speaker 1: put me first and you make me feel like a
Speaker 1: man in the relationship. And I thought, I don't know what,
Speaker 1: what does that mean? What are you talking about? I
Speaker 1: didn't like that. I didn't like that you put me first,
Speaker 1: Like what are you talking about? It's the whole like
Speaker 1: let the man lead and let me, you know, let
Speaker 1: me be the leader. I don't know anyways, like anyways,
Speaker 1: like you've never like, I've never felt that in a relationship.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, go fuck yours Like I didn't like that.
Speaker 1: And then and and that's when he said, Um, I
Speaker 1: could never be in your shoes exactly. But wait, hold up.
Speaker 1: I had to pause for one second because Anna's texting
Speaker 1: me right now if we need a flyer, Hold on
Speaker 1: a second. All right, we are back, okay, So, um
Speaker 1: where were we were? Were we? Oh? Yeah, you put
Speaker 1: me first? And he says, I can never be in
Speaker 1: your shoes until they call me to be the bachelor.
Speaker 1: And then so then it comes time for the um
Speaker 1: fantasy sweets and it was great. It was the most
Speaker 1: human moment and this is what ABC should be running.
Speaker 1: She didn't give him the fantasy sweet she said, uh,
Speaker 1: she didn't even give him the card. She said, at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, I don't trust myself, but
Speaker 1: good lord, he's hot. And then she starts crying. And
Speaker 1: she's basically crying because she's a single mom and she
Speaker 1: doesn't get to bone Ari. Like I think it's also
Speaker 1: I think she knows she's a single the mom is
Speaker 1: gonna judged harshly. She knows probably that she's not going
Speaker 1: to pick him, and so she doesn't want the other
Speaker 1: guy that she sentimes the two other guys like not
Speaker 1: without boning them, And so she knows she doesn't get
Speaker 1: the free paths to get to go in and get
Speaker 1: at her with him. But she's crying because she doesn't
Speaker 1: get to go bone him because she's so attracted to him.
Speaker 1: The other two she gave the card to, she's no,
Speaker 1: she's so into him she can't even hand him the card. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she can't even go there. I get a girl sh sorry,
Speaker 1: I mean they are on fire, those two. I thought
Speaker 1: that was the best. That was the best I mean,
Speaker 1: that is what their ad should be. That is the
Speaker 1: best thing of like get ready, like forget this poon
Speaker 1: burglar stuff. Um, it's so good, it's just so good.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and get for her because you know that
Speaker 1: she would never get already out of out of that room.
Speaker 1: Then those two they're attached at the lips. Yeah, he is.
Speaker 1: You know what, I don't know if it's because he's
Speaker 1: got that European upbringing, if he's got an extra special
Speaker 1: exciting European lover thing, like maybe they just don't grow
Speaker 1: m like that in America, you know what I mean, Like, wow, Wow,
Speaker 1: he's all the rage and hopefully we'll get to see
Speaker 1: it again and just months. Here's my problem, Laura, because
Speaker 1: I'm watching it, I'm like, he's great. I get why
Speaker 1: they picked him. I'm afraid he's been on the vine
Speaker 1: humping and humping. He's he's a hot guy. He he
Speaker 1: didn't need any extra help because he was a fucking
Speaker 1: rich kid, race car driver who's hot. And now he's
Speaker 1: been getting all these six years five years of bachelor
Speaker 1: ladies humping like that is used good. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: he was probably doing okay before he even got on
Speaker 1: the bachelorrect This is my argument to you. He now
Speaker 1: is old. Yeah, he's old. He's old. He's old. Many
Speaker 1: of his friends have settled down and had children. He
Speaker 1: probably has had so much play. Yeah, he's ready. He's
Speaker 1: ready to find that that woman and get married. But
Speaker 1: what is wrong with him psychologically that he needs? You
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, what is the quirk and
Speaker 1: his personality that is so desperate for this? Like? What
Speaker 1: is wrong with him for he Why does he want
Speaker 1: to be the bachelor? Yeah? Like that? How badly does
Speaker 1: he want fame? And like television ladies that what is
Speaker 1: wrong with him that he didn't find? Like, I just
Speaker 1: think there's some major damage somewhere. Although I guess we
Speaker 1: met Nika. You know, I think he maybe he's ready
Speaker 1: for an adventure. Maybe he's just really adventurous. Do you
Speaker 1: like how I'm spending all of this. You're such a
Speaker 1: good You're really good. I'm so naive and optimistic and
Speaker 1: you should be a politician. You're so good. I think
Speaker 1: I think you know what. I don't mean to be skeptical,
Speaker 1: because I get I get where they picked him. It's
Speaker 1: just a long time in bachelor years to to have
Speaker 1: not been like this is many years back. So basically,
Speaker 1: all right, let's go to the Faro ceremony. She's a mess,
Speaker 1: she is. She cannot get it together. I don't blame her.
Speaker 1: She has three great guys, and no matter which one
Speaker 1: you picked, they're going to be sideswiped. Oh she's so adorned.
Speaker 1: She's oh my god. And she covers her eyes like
Speaker 1: the other girls. This is before everybody get those long
Speaker 1: permanent eyelash extensions like they now. They all come in
Speaker 1: with like basically like burlesque feather fans and judged to
Speaker 1: their eyes, and they cried with their hands fully like
Speaker 1: their fingers arched out and fully extended like under their eyes.
Speaker 1: She actually like it's like a little kid that like
Speaker 1: hides her face with her hands. She's so cute, she's
Speaker 1: so sweet, and uh, she's hip. She's devastated. And she
Speaker 1: breaks up with Sean and they go and they sit
Speaker 1: on a bench and it's silent. She's like, do you
Speaker 1: want to say anything? And he said, I just I
Speaker 1: feel kind of stupid. I felt and then he was
Speaker 1: like and then he goes, you should know this is
Speaker 1: really going to hurt me. I know. That was and
Speaker 1: the way he did it. It wasn't in a guilt
Speaker 1: trippy way. It wasn't it in a gross cris way,
Speaker 1: like what was faster? He was. He took it like
Speaker 1: a man. And then he got in the car and
Speaker 1: he said, my whole time through I never even pictured
Speaker 1: like I was picturing my life, how I was going
Speaker 1: to be a dad and giving her that her whole family,
Speaker 1: that the little family she wanted. And he you can
Speaker 1: see why they picked him to the b the Bachelor,
Speaker 1: Like he's a true pure guy. He's so sweet, he's
Speaker 1: so sweet, and she said, I wanted to pick you,
Speaker 1: like of course she did on paper. You're mad at
Speaker 1: you're you're mad at your little lady panty area. That's
Speaker 1: not excited. It's like, this is everything on paper. Why
Speaker 1: are you betraying me and not letting me pick that guy?
Speaker 1: Because he'll treat me like a queen, And yet I'm
Speaker 1: not excited about it. Yeah, And you know, he was
Speaker 1: so sweet, and I know I like to teach him momentlessly,
Speaker 1: but he he said he was going to miss her
Speaker 1: more than she'll ever know. And if it's you know
Speaker 1: the fact that she let him though, if it's the
Speaker 1: best for for her, she has to do. It's the
Speaker 1: best for her. I mean, he is. He was so
Speaker 1: sweet when he says she walked out and he said,
Speaker 1: there's my wife. That's my wife. I can't without a doubt.
Speaker 1: I can't even handle it, I know. I mean the
Speaker 1: good news is that he ended up okay, Yes, and
Speaker 1: that made me really happy. Isn't knowing the handed up? Okay,
Speaker 1: he's got his babies, his babies, taking baby on the way.
Speaker 1: Do we like his wife? We like her? Yeah. I
Speaker 1: mean what was really interesting about sewn season is you
Speaker 1: would think that he would pick somebody just like Emily Write,
Speaker 1: a nice southern girl. He ended up picking a young
Speaker 1: woman from Seattle who was a vegan blogger who is
Speaker 1: really quirky. Oh right, you know what everyone wants, what's
Speaker 1: not obvious. Everyone wants a different flavor, everyone wants something exciting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so he is. So they ended up together and
Speaker 1: they rode off into the sunset on an elephant, married,
Speaker 1: and they have a little boy. Uh and now they're
Speaker 1: expecting another trial. Well, I have to say at the
Speaker 1: at the outtakes for this episode of Ari, so they
Speaker 1: had they made them do at the Rose ceremony that
Speaker 1: each of them had to do a video that was
Speaker 1: so painful to watch that was like, Emily, I love
Speaker 1: you basically one final plea, which was awful, but watching
Speaker 1: the outtakes of Ari trying to do his work amazing.
Speaker 1: He was adorable. He's adorable. I know, I know, I know,
Speaker 1: I know. I'm glad I'm watching this. God, Lori, You're
Speaker 1: so good at this is You're just so good at this,
Speaker 1: you know, thank you. I guess next week is our
Speaker 1: final week. How do you feel? How we're saying, just
Speaker 1: anybody that's watching along with us at home, we're gonna
Speaker 1: skip mentel All, but we're gonna go to the Word
Speaker 1: next week. We're going to do the finale and after
Speaker 1: the final rows, those are going to be the last
Speaker 1: two that we do. Well, you know, I got so
Speaker 1: I know this that we were missing mental All. I
Speaker 1: actually watched it. How was it? How was it? Uh?
Speaker 1: You know, it was pretty uneventful other than Emily called
Speaker 1: out Kaitlyn again and um and she had a little
Speaker 1: talk with Sean, But it was pretty uneventful. Um well, um, Glory,
Speaker 1: you're the best, You're the best, Yoda and friend A
Speaker 1: girl could ask for it to be? How is it
Speaker 1: rewatching it? Oh, it's so good. You know, I'm liking
Speaker 1: Emily so much more than I liked her during her scene. It. Um,
Speaker 1: she's great. Appreciate her a lot more she I find
Speaker 1: her to be adorable. Yeah, I really like her and
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that she is freaking having her four child. Dude,
Speaker 1: I when she once you pointed this week that her
Speaker 1: last night out you know what was to eat? It
Speaker 1: makes me sad that it's not with one of these. Well,
Speaker 1: now we know, we know what we can say because
Speaker 1: we know Chris has gone home and it keeps saying Ari,
Speaker 1: does we know it's gonna be Jeff. I'm sad that
Speaker 1: it's not with Jeff. They were so cute together. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but he's called that that that shame bult he really has.
Speaker 1: We can discussed all that next week, Laurie. Will you
Speaker 1: help sing us out? And I want to tell you, Okay,
Speaker 1: I can't. We'll get more we I'm not allowed to
Speaker 1: give you any more major details until the fifteen, but
Speaker 1: we are officially ago in San Francisco Sunday, January twenty eight,
Speaker 1: and that's all I can tell you. But it's going
Speaker 1: to be You should get yourself to San Francisco Sunday, January.
Speaker 1: The tickets are only gonna be like twenty or twenty five,
Speaker 1: so it's doable. Um yeah, it's gonna be so fun.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have we have a few things we can
Speaker 1: tell you, but not yet. Um so here we would
Speaker 1: love to have people would really appreciate. It's a really
Speaker 1: I bet he would do it. How many questions to
Speaker 1: ask him? I bet you know what? That's a really
Speaker 1: really really I don't think it would draw crowd, but
Speaker 1: you know what, we may need to go out to
Speaker 1: Venice and go visit Dean and Jeff home. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: know they have the connection through Christina, but I want
Speaker 1: to ask him what happened between he and Ari. I
Speaker 1: want to ask him. I want to ask him so much.
Speaker 1: I know too, got me too. That's a really good point.
Speaker 1: That's a really good point. He rarely does any social
Speaker 1: media posts, maybe like one you know on Instagram, but
Speaker 1: you know he posted that whole thing about or which
Speaker 1: we can talk about next week. Yeah, yeah, I have
Speaker 1: so many questions. Well, I wanted to know we got
Speaker 1: turned down by Peter's manager, and like, I'm not done though,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna still try to personally read out to Peter.
Speaker 1: I'm not fully convinced that we can't get Peter. I
Speaker 1: don't want Peter. Peter doesn't want to be there. But
Speaker 1: I'm not giving up the Peter flame right now. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you need me to take us, you know,
Speaker 1: take a selfie of my my white ham apps. I'm
Speaker 1: happy to Oh my god, would you please? You can
Speaker 1: say all this could be your Would people want Nick Viale?
Speaker 1: Should I try for Nick? Uh? I mean that might
Speaker 1: be interesting. He seems further grumpy lately when he's been
Speaker 1: doing interviews. Didn't fun that? I don't want that. I
Speaker 1: know I would like Jeff Holmes too, but I don't
Speaker 1: think anybody can. Right. Here we go, Okay, more more
Speaker 1: more next week? Ok here we go, here we go,
Speaker 1: here we go, and oh job, that's how you do it.
Speaker 1: That's how you do up, that's how you do it.
Speaker 1: Sept I think I really do really here. Oh god,
Speaker 1: I love if you have a Facebook and watched you
Speaker 1: know what we didn't do. We didn't read our emails,
Speaker 1: but we could do it next week? All right, everybody?
Speaker 1: Should I do the emails? Should I do the emails now? Anyway,
Speaker 1: should I do them, should I read them? Or no,
Speaker 1: We'll do the next week. I'll do them next week.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to you, guys. Mine now leaving notice
Speaker 1: to dot com. What thing