WEBVTT - Kim "Studies Show" Cattrall 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:05.960 Celebrity book Club. 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:11.960 Hi, I'm Kim Katrell and I'm doing a documentary about 0:00:12.080 --> 0:00:17.319 the sexual lives of Toronto residents. We're going to talk 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:23.360 to ten sexually active Greater Toronto residents about what turns 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:31.280 them on, what turns them off, and what makes them climax. 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:36.680 First up, Davis thirty four. 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:43.880 I like when a woman gets home from work. 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:50.479 Kira twenty nine. This thing happened to me when I 0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:54.120 was twenty eight, where I only liked guys with broad shoulders. 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:58.960 Now I like guys with slender shoulders. I don't know 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:05.760 what happened, but it just gets me off. Shira thirty three. 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:09.800 I was with my last boyfriend for seven years when 0:01:10.280 --> 0:01:14.920 I realized I'd never had an orgasm before. So I 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:18.440 went to the Chicago Art Institute and I brought my 0:01:18.560 --> 0:01:27.319 favorite toy, a candlestick brass rested, and I did everything 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:31.160 that you can imagine right there in the impressionist room. 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:38.399 Tanya twenty two. I love early morning sex, especially with 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:42.240 a powerful man with an an even bigger espresso machine. 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:45.560 Poor Mia shot of Dick. 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:50.640 Cage twenty one. I don't think a big dick really 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:54.480 matters that much. I've never gotten complaints about my normal dick. 0:01:55.080 --> 0:01:59.040 I think other guys dis are totally cool. When I'm 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:01.960 at the urinal, I look at them, or I don't 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:05.440 look because I don't think it really matters that much. 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:08.040 It's just a beautiful object. 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:17.120 Alan. I was with my wife for many years until 0:02:17.160 --> 0:02:23.040 one day she dressed up as a man. I've never 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:27.680 been so hard in my life. Turns out I go 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:32.840 both ways. Judy twenty eight. I don't know what to 0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:39.760 do with balls. Who's that knocking at the door. It's 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:42.760 all your friends. You've filthy horse, your husband's gone, and. 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:45.040 You've got books and a bottle of wine to kill. 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:48.160 It's Hollywood, it's books, it's gossip. 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:56.280 I'm sure it's memoirs. Celebrity book Club. Read it while 0:02:56.320 --> 0:03:00.399 it's hot. Celebrity book Club. Tell your secrets. We will 0:03:00.520 --> 0:03:02.959 talk celebrity books. 0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:09.560 No boys are aloud, say it loud and pounds celet 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:10.400 book Clubs. 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:14.040 Spuzz me in. I brought the queer vow. Oh hey, 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:23.959 best friend, lover, coworker, acquaintance. Strange. 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:32.400 How I am feeling really alive in my body today? 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:36.560 You know, my human body, which is one of the 0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:41.360 most peculiar instruments on this earth, isn't it. 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:45.880 It's so interesting. It's full of nerves, full of hair, 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:53.880 full of different sensations. It's been studied, It's been studied 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:56.440 since three thousand BC. 0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:01.920 Why is sex always ancient? Just always antiquity? 0:04:02.200 --> 0:04:07.360 Like sex is always like in Roman times from the 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:13.040 bath they would feed on grapes and the phallacies were 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:14.280 open and played with. 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:17.120 Let's just get into it. So what did we read 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:17.560 this week? 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:21.320 We read it with me Petrel. 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:24.560 Who you may know from Sex and the City as Samantha. 0:04:25.520 --> 0:04:27.599 The sexiest cast member. 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:30.839 And has a book and documentary. 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:32.640 Yeah, that are kind of the same exact. 0:04:32.400 --> 0:04:35.839 Their companion pieces. 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:38.280 Sold separately at Bs and Nobles and Borders. And her 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:44.120 book and documentary, Sexual Intelligence, which is very like two 0:04:44.160 --> 0:04:47.840 thousand and six six and especially it's a glossy coffee 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:51.120 table book that is about. 0:04:51.440 --> 0:05:00.160 Desire, desire, human sexuality and history and men and women bodies. 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:05.080 The differences between their bodies and how the glitterist has 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:08.719 more nerves than any other part of the body. But 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:10.159 the fallas. 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:15.559 Is so interesting, so like half of the movie Slash Book, 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:17.880 it is just always going back to ancient Roman, ancient 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:20.919 times and ancient people's worshiped. 0:05:20.360 --> 0:05:25.360 The fallous but afrodity. And the reason this book came 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:28.360 about is because she said, you know, playing Samantha, one 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:32.000 of the most famous sexual characters on television, people would 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:35.240 see her as the sexpert and come up to her 0:05:35.320 --> 0:05:39.080 and tell her their randy stories. They're Samantha stories and 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:42.000 be like, oh my god, like you must be an expert, 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:45.119 a sexpert. Yes, And she was like, I was actually 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:48.679 embarrassed to say I'm not Samantha, Like I actually don't 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:51.280 have amazing sex every night, and I don't have the 0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:53.120 craziest stories. So it inspired her. 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:55.359 In a note from cam in the beginning of the book, 0:05:57.120 --> 0:05:59.680 she goes, after the first two seasons sex and the 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:02.440 city people began coming up to me wanting to share 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:06.880 their own Samantha scenarios. This was flattering, but could sometimes 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:10.040 be embarrassing as well. People assume that I, like Samantha, 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:14.040 had always enjoyed fabulous sex, when in fact the opposite 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:16.120 was true, as is the case. 0:06:15.880 --> 0:06:16.480 For many women. 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:21.080 Sexual fulfillment came late with the publication of my first book, Satisfaction, 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:23.520 The Art of the Female Orgasm. I wanted to reach 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:25.400 out to women and men with the hope that what 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:28.200 I had eventually learned could work for them, and finding 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:30.919 my own fulfillment. And then she goes, I'm not a 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:33.240 sex expert or a therapist. Still the male and the 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:35.960 questions continued. It seems there remained so much more to 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:38.960 explore and learn. I decided to call this new project 0:06:39.040 --> 0:06:42.120 sexual intelligence because I wanted to be just that, a 0:06:42.160 --> 0:06:44.280 gathering of information and insights. 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:45.760 And is it a gathering of. 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:50.240 Okay, it's so many quotes from experts, and just like 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:54.719 studies show, study show, And in her book The History 0:06:54.839 --> 0:06:56.480 of the Female. 0:06:57.400 --> 0:06:59.839 It soys what's love got to do with it? Love, 0:07:00.160 --> 0:07:03.400 in all its complexity and irrationality, has not always held 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:07.480 the value it does today. In the fascinating history Love 0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:11.600 in the Ancient World, authors Christopher Miles and John Julius 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:15.040 Norwich tell us, for the ancients, love did not make 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:18.120 you better, It made you worse, like she's always like, 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:21.160 Quoting a different book about how the Romans had sex. 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:25.720 Psychology refers to Roy Baumeister suggests that women have more 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:29.720 erotic plasticity than men. Their sex trips are shaped more 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:35.560 by circumstances and by social and cultural forces. The common 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:40.960 suture recommends saffron, musk, and sandalwood as substances whose smell 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:44.040 blends with that of the woman and encourage your sexual exectation. 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:48.320 Even the Bible contributes the literature on fragrances and desires. 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:51.840 Okay, here's a little witclosure book. Here's a little quiz, 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:57.320 and everyone play along. In the Bible book book in 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:02.320 the Bible, what does she say are the aphrodisiac sense 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:05.360 that a man puts on a bed to lure his woman? 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:07.520 Was it what I just said? Is it saffron and musk? 0:08:07.920 --> 0:08:09.960 No? 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:16.400 Wait? Is it like camel? It's like mr oh, okay, 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:21.640 cinnamon and aloe, which I'm like, hmm, I just like it. 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:25.240 Because cinnamon is so fall and it's so just like 0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:27.040 mom apple pie. 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:31.760 Well then I made this kind of crazy connection this yes, 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:35.120 thank you, thank you, because she says one of the 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:38.240 most deronic sens are like pumpkin and spice and cinnamon. 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:40.960 And we think, oh Christian girl, autumn, and why are 0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:44.560 these girls so obsessed with their pumpkin lattes? And it's 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:50.160 actually because they're so turned on by it. But society 0:08:50.440 --> 0:08:53.960 tells us a woman can't say, hey, honey, come home, 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:57.680 I'm a horny I'm baking pumpkin bread. She has to say, oh, 0:08:57.760 --> 0:08:59.800 I love pumpkins because I love Hocus. 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:03.080 It's always comes back to the madonnah or complex. But 0:09:03.080 --> 0:09:06.000 I think this is actually so interesting because the classic 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:10.439 feminine sense are not actually the sense we ironically associate 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:12.200 with eroticism and desire. 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:13.600 It's the quote. 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:18.000 Mascot little wood right, and like leather right in tobacco, 0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:22.840 like alcohol with whiskey. It's like those are like sexier sense, 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:25.760 whereas like these traditional feminine ones are like kind of 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:30.559 associated with like either purity or matronliness. Yeah right, like 0:09:31.000 --> 0:09:35.600 this Christianity who like the floralness. Yeah, it's either Christian 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:38.760 or it's you've already had kids. And now you smell 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:41.120 like a flower. You smell like an old flower. Your 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:44.520 vagina is sealed. You are no longer sexual department store. 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:46.720 And I'm so glad we're talking about scent right now 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:51.640 because something happened to me so interesting today. I'm wearing 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:54.320 your lover's father's shirt right now. 0:09:54.440 --> 0:09:58.800 Wow, talk about outles blical, biblical. 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:02.240 And I was on the train week of Cinnamon. I 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:04.680 was on the train and I was like, what is 0:10:05.080 --> 0:10:09.439 that smell? And I. I was looking around at men. 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:12.640 I was like, who smells kind of bad but manly 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:15.200 on on the train and I was looking around. I 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:17.360 was just kind of women with books and I was 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:19.880 like not adding up. And then I was in the bathroom. 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:27.040 And then I went into the bathroom, I said, the 0:10:27.080 --> 0:10:31.520 smell is still with me, and I realized it was. 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:35.960 And it was this collection of. 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:43.680 Men journey in center of my boyfriend's father, me, my boyfriend. 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:50.320 Yeah, your closet, Landlord Ridgewood all into one when researchers said. 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:54.360 The Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:58.719 conducted a study on the effects if any of fragrances 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:01.600 and sexual assle. They use floral sense and threw in 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:03.959 the smell of big Simon buns as a control. As 0:11:04.000 --> 0:11:07.400 each hoop smelled each testcent, individual blood flow in men's 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:11.839 penises was measured using a small blood pressure cuff called 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:17.439 a follometer penis. To the research, to surprise, the sticky 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:22.160 buns raise their subjects blood flow more than any other scent. 0:11:22.559 --> 0:11:27.559 So you see science proofs that is to fall. Yes, 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:31.560 because why do we call also fall couffing season? 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:33.880 Oh, because we all put our fallometers on. 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:38.040 As we go to Cinnabon, we're getting our pumpkin is 0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:39.439 beeping off the chiseling. 0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:43.000 Mama VENTI, I'll have a venty and signed me. If 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:49.280 you know what I'm saying, you know the book and film, 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:51.840 I will say. The only difference is that in the 0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:57.679 book Kim sorry Kittrell, So it's Katrell Trell, and I've 0:11:57.679 --> 0:11:58.400 always said. 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:02.080 It is very much spelled like Coatrol. She's in Liverpool, Darling, 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:07.280 and she grew up in British Columbia, in a small 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:11.040 town on Vancouver Island, which is not Vancouver. It's like 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:14.280 this island off the coast. It's like Vancouver is on 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:16.600 the mainland, and then this is a large island off 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:16.800 the car. 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:19.160 And she doesn't really have like a British accent. She 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:22.960 has this kind of Canadians. 0:12:21.720 --> 0:12:24.120 Like a sexually international Canadian accent. 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:28.400 It's like a sex accent. It is. First of all, 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:33.240 she's also a sex therapist. She was born to write 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:33.800 this book. 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:38.599 She's also ben forty one, like since nineteen seventy one, 0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:41.760 because when you look at her in her like first roles, 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:45.040 she's already been this woman who's sexually wise beyond her years. 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.640 Right, and being like, well, I like it when. 0:12:47.720 --> 0:12:50.760 I think partially because she has that like Cindy Crawford 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:53.520 mole that sometimes she's covering up, but sometimes she has 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:54.640 I think it's also like. 0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:58.959 The haircut, the bangs, her kind of huskier voice in 0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:03.600 the documentary. And this bisexual person is also quoted in here, 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:04.120 so in. 0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:06.960 The Bye Girl the documentary who it looks like a 0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:15.479 Parker Posy character Kissy. I'm talking y two k bisexual 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.319 Canadian name than Kisty. 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:20.880 So they are all these like men and women who 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:22.800 are interviewed in the documentary and. 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:26.559 All and just like the softest like micro silk play. 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:30.120 Microsal microfiber shirts, all have the craziest haircuts, but also 0:13:30.200 --> 0:13:33.560 just such like barbell piercings in this way. Yeah, Like 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:35.640 the guys are very penis piercing. 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:38.800 I'm obsessed with the guy who's just like, if you 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:41.000 can get two women in bed with you, they've got 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:41.840 to be pretty dumb. 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:47.840 They're like two and in bed. Sure, I'll take it, Okay. 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:50.240 They all kind of seem like lesbians, but then there's 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:51.920 this one lesbian who's actually. 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:58.040 By Yeah, that was confusing, really, Pierre run with the piercing. 0:13:58.320 --> 0:13:59.920 She was so butch. I was like, then when she's 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:01.880 were talking about men, I was like, mom. 0:14:01.720 --> 0:14:04.360 Mus yeah, I was like what and she was like, 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:09.280 there's nothing like when a bulge is against fabric. And 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:11.720 she was like, I like it big. But then she 0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:14.320 was like, nothing's better than when like a girl is 0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:16.240 eating you out with a tongue ring, which is also 0:14:16.280 --> 0:14:18.560 the most nineties thing. And I remember like when I 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:21.160 was first kind of coming into my own sexuality and 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:23.120 like hearing that being like, wait, I should get like 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:23.880 a tongue rings. 0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:28.640 Yeah, I know, tongue ring oral sex. It was so 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:31.240 also talked about like dude, have you ever gotten head 0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:32.640 from a girl with a tongue ring? 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:36.520 Yes? Fucking fucking crazy, Like you don't even know what 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:39.520 a blowjob is until you've experienced. First of all, no 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:41.480 one has tongue rings anymore. No one. 0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:44.640 Everyone has a fucking nose ring. Everyone has the bull 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:45.880 piercing laurence. 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.160 Is that good for lingis? 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.280 Well maybe if your nose is really buried in there. 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:55.440 Well, the nose is always good I think for punde lingus. 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:57.000 So you say it acts as a. 0:14:57.200 --> 0:15:00.240 Phallus, what if you maybe did like kind of a 0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:03.320 nasal attachment that was such a like rubbery. 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:07.640 Instead of like let me get my knob, like let 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:09.920 me get my strap, it's like let me get my 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:15.400 full like ebeny. It's kind of a medal play mask. 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:23.560 It's like the big like orse so knowlence costumes question, Stephen, 0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:30.320 do you dress up in the bedroom? Erotic place is 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:34.840 so important? Studies show that in ancient times, I mean, 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:36.480 let's go back to the fig leave well. 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:38.640 First of all, my favorite bird of the documentary is 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:41.400 at the very beginning, after the intro, which is completely insane, 0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:46.040 cut to her standing in front of the Toronto skyline 0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:50.200 and she just goes, let's talk about sex, and you're 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:54.920 just like, why Toronto, Why is this the capital of sex? 0:15:55.320 --> 0:15:56.520 Why? 0:15:57.160 --> 0:16:02.760 There's no explanation because it's being like cities, because there 0:16:02.880 --> 0:16:05.200 is a travel budget for the She's at some like 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:10.160 Scottish like land art that's made in like medieval times. 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:12.800 Has this huge like machiness Pallas. 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.720 She goes to Cypress, to Aphrodite's beach, just to walk 0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:19.280 out of the waves and be like Aphrodite. 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:24.080 The original seductress. For generations we've been influenced. And then 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:27.320 it's very like such a like early film collage of 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:30.080 just like Hollyberry and Incomes of the Beach and Cyndy 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:34.200 Crawford and be like, where would we be without Afrodite. 0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:37.640 Without the sirens and water which is so connected to sexuality. 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:40.840 And then she's in the rocks as like a random 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:41.920 guy is like. 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:45.880 Giving her an oyster that she's then slurpy because the 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:49.200 oyster represents feminism desiacs okay. 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:51.280 And then my other favorite part in her travel and 0:16:51.360 --> 0:16:54.240 hears a quote of it when she happens upon like 0:16:54.280 --> 0:16:58.160 a stone carving of a dick, and then she's like, oops, 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:03.000 Dallas is recarved into the pavement on street corners, set 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:05.920 in bricks on the outside walls of buildings and even 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:12.880 outfitted with little bronze bells called ttuliba and dangled over 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:15.720 doorways and entrance halls. Talk about having a lot of 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:20.080 balls in the air because it's like she's being like, 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:23.080 I'm not Samantha, but then this book will be filled 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:28.040 with like little Samantha sides being like now that's a fallows. 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:31.680 And then the most amazing photo she. 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:35.120 Is standing next to this like Scottish wind chime that's 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:37.360 like a massive metal dick with wings. 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:41.240 It's like a dick whale that is winged and has 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:44.400 its own dick, an alerg dick, and is like held 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:44.919 by bells. 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:47.679 So she talks about the decline of the fallis es 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:52.679 central to western art and how yes, and so in 0:17:52.880 --> 0:17:57.480 ancient Greece and ancient Rome, the Fallas was like represented 0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:01.520 like separately, and in Pompeii there's all these large dicks everywhere. 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:07.240 But then the phallas became like smaller in statues we 0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:09.399 all know, like ancient statues had small dicks because it 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:12.080 was like a man having a big dick was like 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:15.320 too unreliable, because like there's such just a anthelion where 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.720 she's like, if a man has a big dick, you 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:19.239 can't trust you can't trust him. 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:22.480 And then she goes hmm hm. 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:26.320 But then, like the Middle Ages and Christianity brought on 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:28.800 a lot of repression and the fig leaves and this 0:18:28.880 --> 0:18:34.240 sort of fear of the disclosure of the phallas making love. 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:39.439 And she's like King Torontola or whatever like brought his daughter, 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:41.919 like the King of Naples, Oh yes, and then he 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:43.400 covered up all of the. 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:46.280 Art unwittingly brought his daughter along to tour artifacts excavated 0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:49.320 from sites in Pompey. What he saw shocked and embarrassed him, 0:18:49.320 --> 0:18:50.680 and he ordered that a room he set aside of 0:18:50.720 --> 0:18:53.720 the National Archeological Museum of Naples for all offending wall paintings. 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:58.480 And and here we were as pagans, freely making love. 0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:01.000 You know, it is true, obviously, it's like we think 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:05.960 about depictions of female nudity have been very common throughout 0:19:06.160 --> 0:19:08.760 art for millennia. But then of course you look back 0:19:08.800 --> 0:19:11.720 at Manet and Olympia and everyone was the context was 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:14.840 always very virginal with the women or it was like godly, 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:18.159 it was otherworldly. It was never like a real woman 0:19:18.320 --> 0:19:19.879 showing her real pussy. 0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:25.480 Spread, right, It's always kind of women resting, yes, or 0:19:25.520 --> 0:19:26.679 women at war. 0:19:26.720 --> 0:19:29.600 Yes, or like women posing for the painting in the 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:32.880 way we understand she's just doing it. It's like anatomy, but. 0:19:32.800 --> 0:19:36.679 They're not like being so like reverse cowgirl like certainly 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:38.520 not Statue of David. 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:42.959 And that's why Olympia caused such a hullabloo at the 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:46.560 Salon in the eighteen eighties, because she was making eye 0:19:46.640 --> 0:19:49.800 contact with the viewer and her like attendant was there. 0:19:49.680 --> 0:19:51.720 And not just kind of this dazed eye. And then 0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:54.800 you know, in the documentary, Shelter mentions what the Metropolitan 0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:59.439 Museum of Art had an exhibit of Lucian Freud and 0:19:59.480 --> 0:20:04.600 there was warnings, yes, saying content warning, trigger warning, there's nudity, 0:20:05.000 --> 0:20:07.520 but yeah, there's nudity throughout the met Yes, but he 0:20:07.720 --> 0:20:12.080 was this modern showing of sexuality. 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:14.720 Because nudity without sex is fine. And I think what's 0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:18.720 interesting about Hiding the Pallas is it's almost we can 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:23.360 desexualize the vagina, but we like can't be sexualize a penis? Now, 0:20:23.440 --> 0:20:25.440 why is that misogyny? 0:20:25.560 --> 0:20:31.120 Misogyny exactly? And this book is also so classic nineties 0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:33.840 early two thousand and away, where there's an amazing photo 0:20:33.840 --> 0:20:37.680 of two speakers. One speaker says man, and there's one 0:20:37.720 --> 0:20:41.040 switch and that's off on and off and on, and 0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:45.040 then a woman's speaker is like knobs. 0:20:46.880 --> 0:20:51.120 Because women are attracted to so many more things ideas and. 0:20:51.040 --> 0:20:54.480 Power and brains, but also fear. But what I think 0:20:54.560 --> 0:20:55.360 is interesting. 0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:58.720 Tightnancy about this book is that it would ultimately argue 0:20:58.760 --> 0:21:01.359 the reverse as the documentary, which is that sexuality is 0:21:01.359 --> 0:21:05.280 so complicated and we are all animated by fantasy. Wit 0:21:05.359 --> 0:21:07.720 I love the insane like lesbian who's maybe not a 0:21:07.800 --> 0:21:11.520 lesbian in the documentary, who's just like if people heard 0:21:11.560 --> 0:21:13.679 my fantasies, they would put me in. 0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:17.800 Oh yes, you're like whoa, You're like, what are they? 0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:19.920 This is the one who was like the tongue rang 0:21:20.000 --> 0:21:20.400 one and. 0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:22.359 She looks just like a women's hockey coach. 0:21:22.119 --> 0:21:25.200 Like she's like the bushes. Then like the one who 0:21:25.200 --> 0:21:27.800 actually is a lesbian is like just the most like 0:21:28.560 --> 0:21:33.800 nineties our bodies, our bodies, ourselves, like bad nineties haircut. 0:21:33.840 --> 0:21:38.200 That is like lesbian bed death. It's real. But then 0:21:38.280 --> 0:21:41.200 also it w was is surprising. She's the one that says, 0:21:41.480 --> 0:21:43.800 I didn't even look at my vagina with a mirror 0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:44.800 till two years ago. 0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:47.359 I just watched that episode of Sex and the City 0:21:47.440 --> 0:21:48.200 the other day. 0:21:48.440 --> 0:21:50.720 One of the most classic episodes of television of all time, 0:21:50.760 --> 0:21:55.000 when Charlotte finally looks, and it's Samantha, of course, being like, honey, 0:21:55.119 --> 0:21:57.719 you've never taken a mirror and looked down there and 0:21:57.800 --> 0:22:01.520 see what's all the working parts? And Charlotte's like, why. 0:22:01.480 --> 0:22:04.119 No, Because it's also when her doctor tells her her 0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:05.680 vagina's depressed. 0:22:05.960 --> 0:22:08.000 Which is funny, kind of in the History of Sex 0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:09.920 and the City two of those characters, because I think 0:22:10.280 --> 0:22:14.480 Charlotte is the one that ends up being more kind 0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:17.520 of sexually free and kinky. 0:22:17.200 --> 0:22:21.840 Because she's so ltr and which she knows, as Samantha says, 0:22:22.000 --> 0:22:25.840 Sorry Samantha, As Kim Katrell says in this book, oxytocin 0:22:25.960 --> 0:22:30.880 can decrease between years two and three in a relationship, 0:22:30.920 --> 0:22:36.639 and that's why divorces peak around year four worldwide seven 0:22:36.720 --> 0:22:37.960 year itch more. 0:22:37.880 --> 0:22:39.800 Like four year stretch. 0:22:41.920 --> 0:22:45.920 Book Club. 0:22:50.640 --> 0:22:50.960 Club. 0:22:52.280 --> 0:22:54.960 She's like, the seven year itch is when you've had 0:22:55.040 --> 0:22:58.760 the chemicals like four year dip for three years too 0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:02.359 long or whatever, which is you know, this. 0:23:02.240 --> 0:23:04.600 Is interesting, let's talk about Let's talk about. 0:23:04.400 --> 0:23:06.480 The seven year itch and the four year X because I. 0:23:06.480 --> 0:23:09.480 Remember this famous article in New York Times magazine that 0:23:09.600 --> 0:23:12.520 was like about the search to find the female viagra. 0:23:12.800 --> 0:23:15.280 Well, and she says that it's impossible because women have 0:23:15.320 --> 0:23:17.440 so many knobs that like, it doesn't work on women, 0:23:17.720 --> 0:23:21.400 and I can't just have blood rushing to the clit 0:23:21.480 --> 0:23:23.040 and all of a sudden a woman's horning. 0:23:23.200 --> 0:23:25.959 But I do think there is something a little false 0:23:26.000 --> 0:23:31.520 in that. I feel like studies have shown and not 0:23:31.680 --> 0:23:34.280 totally where they were like, oh, no, you couldn't have 0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:37.240 a female viagra, and they were like, you can lubricate 0:23:37.280 --> 0:23:40.680 a woman, but she wouldn't necessarily be turned on, which 0:23:40.720 --> 0:23:43.720 may be true. But I'm like, but also, aren't they interconnected, 0:23:44.200 --> 0:23:46.119 because then it's like if a woman does take the 0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:47.840 pill and then she does feel like she can be 0:23:47.920 --> 0:23:51.840 more what, then maybe her mind will open to more 0:23:51.880 --> 0:23:53.400 of these kind of fantasies. 0:23:53.400 --> 0:23:56.320 I think part of it is so wrapped up in 0:23:56.480 --> 0:24:00.639 the mythology of the biology of the woman. 0:24:01.200 --> 0:24:05.800 Because a woman can't get hard, so the viagra can't. 0:24:05.560 --> 0:24:09.720 Work well, yes, and because the vagina is a cave. 0:24:09.800 --> 0:24:11.840 A cave is full of mystery. It's a dark space. 0:24:11.880 --> 0:24:14.240 We don't know what's in there and we never will. 0:24:14.359 --> 0:24:16.600 But it turned out a woman actually can get hard, 0:24:16.640 --> 0:24:21.800 as studies have shown. Glitteris doesn't gorge. It doesn't gorge 0:24:21.800 --> 0:24:22.720 when turned on. 0:24:23.440 --> 0:24:26.440 But I think because it is not as visibly obvious. 0:24:26.640 --> 0:24:29.320 If a man is hard, he is visibly hard. But 0:24:29.400 --> 0:24:34.280 if a woman's glitterist is visually engorged, you might need 0:24:34.720 --> 0:24:38.160 you mean, some other note To an outside observer, it's 0:24:38.160 --> 0:24:41.959 not immediately apparent, and that is why we will continue 0:24:42.560 --> 0:24:46.639 to push the mythology that a woman's attraction is purely 0:24:46.720 --> 0:24:51.760 mental and is purely spiritual and motivated by social concerns. 0:24:52.040 --> 0:24:54.640 And you know, it's funny in this racle they say 0:24:54.920 --> 0:24:58.480 a woman is actually more likely to feel before you're 0:24:58.560 --> 0:25:02.440 itch to be like okay, you know, like because it 0:25:02.840 --> 0:25:04.040 is not being like I know if you've had a 0:25:04.080 --> 0:25:07.560 four year itch, so you're gonna collogize, right, And the 0:25:07.600 --> 0:25:11.280 man is actually more fine with having the same old 0:25:11.320 --> 0:25:14.320 sex with the same old woman, maybe over and out 0:25:14.440 --> 0:25:17.200 year after year. And the woman actually needs a little 0:25:17.200 --> 0:25:20.840 more excitement, a little more change, yes, and is not 0:25:20.880 --> 0:25:25.280 gonna get turned on by Bill saying hey, han, what 0:25:25.400 --> 0:25:26.439 about sex tonight? 0:25:26.600 --> 0:25:29.399 Yes, but I also think that that also just comes 0:25:29.440 --> 0:25:31.680 back to like typical daynam And it's like, I think 0:25:31.720 --> 0:25:35.720 the man is more fine with the same old, same 0:25:35.760 --> 0:25:38.680 hold because he's been conditioned by society, by our review 0:25:38.720 --> 0:25:41.639 of marriage, to view sex as something that like either 0:25:41.720 --> 0:25:43.560 your wife gives you or she doesn't give you. 0:25:43.840 --> 0:25:46.200 So it's like, if you're getting it, be happy, Yeah, 0:25:46.240 --> 0:25:48.679 like dude, you should be happy do this. Yeah, Oh 0:25:48.720 --> 0:25:49.760 you're getting your poll wet. 0:25:49.800 --> 0:25:52.240 So it becomes this thing where it becomes Low's comm denominator, 0:25:52.280 --> 0:25:54.600 and it's just like, well, then all he has about 0:25:54.640 --> 0:25:57.160 is getting his pole wet. But in reality, the man 0:25:57.280 --> 0:26:01.359 does have deeper fantasies that probably not being explored because 0:26:01.359 --> 0:26:04.720 he's also like, it'd be really faggoty to explore a fantasy. 0:26:04.359 --> 0:26:06.640 Where he's like, oh, well, I couldn't like tell you 0:26:06.680 --> 0:26:09.040 what I wanted this right, And this is why it 0:26:09.080 --> 0:26:13.199 goes back to community communication, which is so important in 0:26:13.240 --> 0:26:17.400 a sexual dynamic, even when you're fetish just not communicating. 0:26:18.400 --> 0:26:21.880 How much would you say your father has influenced your type? 0:26:23.480 --> 0:26:26.919 Yeah, this whole book is very just like kissing, and 0:26:27.000 --> 0:26:34.440 your attraction is so influenced by like breastfeeding and your parents' sexuality. 0:26:35.359 --> 0:26:36.800 Wait, I love the way that page you were just 0:26:36.840 --> 0:26:39.840 on ninety one. Yeah, this image of her holding a swan. 0:26:40.320 --> 0:26:43.520 She's wearing a bedazzled bikini. 0:26:44.440 --> 0:26:46.840 Kind of like and the Mermaids, And there's just. 0:26:46.760 --> 0:26:49.320 A large pol quote that says, how many people have 0:26:49.400 --> 0:26:53.840 been baffled by a domination fantasy? What about imagining we 0:26:54.080 --> 0:26:55.919 are the opposite sex and that. 0:26:55.960 --> 0:26:57.920 It's a photo of which is also so sex And 0:26:57.960 --> 0:27:01.000 the city Samantha in like a business suit. 0:27:01.320 --> 0:27:05.600 Oh wait, yeah, but she's also doing like a Charlie's Angels, 0:27:05.600 --> 0:27:07.960 blowing out a finger gun. And then the other one 0:27:08.000 --> 0:27:09.960 of her in the clouds is her holding a writing crop. 0:27:10.359 --> 0:27:13.040 And then okay, the poll quote under the swan is 0:27:13.119 --> 0:27:18.200 and some fantasies are well just playing odd creating them. 0:27:18.240 --> 0:27:18.760 What's funny? 0:27:18.800 --> 0:27:21.320 Sex in this City is so obviously the most important 0:27:21.359 --> 0:27:23.480 Joe of all time. But I've been watching like season 0:27:23.520 --> 0:27:27.199 four and there's all these like moments when everyone's like 0:27:27.640 --> 0:27:29.960 freaked out. I mean, like Carrie's kind of like she's 0:27:30.800 --> 0:27:32.000 she's always read out. She s freaked out with a 0:27:32.000 --> 0:27:35.760 guy wh wants to piss on her. They're always like ew, Samantha, no, 0:27:36.200 --> 0:27:38.840 like that's not cool, and like Samantha's freaked up the 0:27:38.880 --> 0:27:39.480 baby talk guy. 0:27:39.720 --> 0:27:42.439 Then Miranda is freaked out by the guy who like 0:27:42.480 --> 0:27:44.520 goes down on her and then is like goes to 0:27:44.600 --> 0:27:48.600 kiss her, and she's like, are you kidding me? A napkin, 0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:50.000 I'm all over. 0:27:50.760 --> 0:27:53.800 I'm like when Samantha is a lesbian for two episodes 0:27:54.200 --> 0:27:57.040 and they're all just like, whoa, please stop saying the 0:27:57.080 --> 0:27:59.000 word vagina. It's not cool. 0:27:59.200 --> 0:28:01.399 Yeah, I don't want to hear that. 0:28:01.720 --> 0:28:05.359 It's also because Miranda's so freaked out and you can't 0:28:05.440 --> 0:28:08.840 understand it, Like she's wearing like six turtlenecks and she's 0:28:08.920 --> 0:28:12.119 just like, what are you talking about? 0:28:13.840 --> 0:28:16.320 And then it's when Charlotte has anal and they're like 0:28:16.600 --> 0:28:20.160 what but he's your husband, and Charlotte's like, exactly. 0:28:20.280 --> 0:28:22.480 Here's a question I have for you, Lily. Do you 0:28:22.480 --> 0:28:23.480 think you have a type? 0:28:24.280 --> 0:28:27.359 I was actually thinking about that so much during this book, 0:28:27.480 --> 0:28:31.160 And you know, on one hand, I do think I do, 0:28:31.440 --> 0:28:33.719 and then the other I actually don't think I do. 0:28:34.040 --> 0:28:37.080 I know some would say, what's you have? I think 0:28:37.240 --> 0:28:43.880 some would say, you know, I like a blonde. What 0:28:44.000 --> 0:28:45.800 do you think that comes from? You know, does it 0:28:45.840 --> 0:28:48.680 come from the rejection of my brunettess or is it 0:28:48.720 --> 0:28:54.760 the creation of this kind of you know, stereotypical male sexuality. 0:28:55.040 --> 0:28:59.360 It's about my desire to be this American blooded man 0:28:59.440 --> 0:29:03.840 with the poor event and a blonde and fulfilling that fantasy. Yes, 0:29:04.280 --> 0:29:07.320 my persona even more than the blonde. Yes. 0:29:07.520 --> 0:29:09.520 I think that's one hundred percent true. And I think 0:29:09.680 --> 0:29:13.600 our own sexual identity is so wrapped up in our 0:29:13.720 --> 0:29:14.920 fantasy of another person. 0:29:15.040 --> 0:29:16.600 What do you think is your type. Well, I think 0:29:16.680 --> 0:29:18.880 I do have this type. I think you have a 0:29:18.920 --> 0:29:21.640 few types of a couple types, and I think everyone does. 0:29:21.960 --> 0:29:26.160 Yes, some would say a few hundred times hello. 0:29:26.440 --> 0:29:30.640 Oh honey, my type it's allid Toronto. 0:29:31.680 --> 0:29:34.160 Does he live in Toronto? Does he have a pulse? 0:29:36.520 --> 0:29:38.480 But I think you know certainly that the types of 0:29:38.480 --> 0:29:40.800 men that I've dated in long term relationships, they are 0:29:40.840 --> 0:29:44.600 all these kind of like very American men if you 0:29:44.720 --> 0:29:49.840 were so hot, Like they're kind of these all American types. 0:29:49.880 --> 0:29:52.800 Yet so funny because you're always desiring this kind of 0:29:52.840 --> 0:29:53.640 franco file. 0:29:53.800 --> 0:29:55.920 Yes, and I think my fantasy is so much more 0:29:55.960 --> 0:29:59.680 Mediterranean and it is like the guy who's serving her 0:29:59.680 --> 0:30:02.480 oways on a rock in Cypress. But then I always 0:30:02.560 --> 0:30:05.520 end up dating these like super kind of like the 0:30:05.560 --> 0:30:10.360 baseball archetype, the lacrosse archetype. Like you know, there's the 0:30:10.480 --> 0:30:13.600 art bro, or there's the midwestern guy, like the colorade 0:30:13.600 --> 0:30:14.560 of the western Massachusetts. 0:30:14.560 --> 0:30:15.960 But there's these kind of different states. 0:30:16.080 --> 0:30:18.200 Yes, but they all have this kind of like semi 0:30:18.320 --> 0:30:20.280 rural masculinity to all of them. 0:30:20.440 --> 0:30:23.440 No, And I think of the gay guy version of 0:30:23.480 --> 0:30:27.000 that is like to be this girl, yes, right, yes, 0:30:27.080 --> 0:30:29.600 and to want this guy because then I look like 0:30:29.640 --> 0:30:30.560 you can change a tire. 0:30:30.720 --> 0:30:33.400 Yes, And so my kind of like desire to be 0:30:33.520 --> 0:30:35.560 like a girl name let's call her Madison. 0:30:37.200 --> 0:30:39.800 Maybe her name is Madison. Maybe she grew up in 0:30:39.840 --> 0:30:43.000 suburban Toronto, went to a really good school, had a 0:30:43.040 --> 0:30:46.280 really good family, shot really good grades, wants to be 0:30:46.360 --> 0:30:46.840 a writer. 0:30:47.360 --> 0:30:49.840 And it's funny because I've only really really traversed the 0:30:49.920 --> 0:30:52.320 fantasy of like the European. I mean, I lost some 0:30:52.440 --> 0:30:54.880 virginity to a British guy. My first boyfriend was British. 0:30:54.960 --> 0:31:00.760 But then after that, Yeah, it's semi rural. Yeah, Western 0:31:00.760 --> 0:31:05.280 mass Colorado, northern Washington, Wisconsin. 0:31:05.880 --> 0:31:08.600 My type is northern Washington. 0:31:09.400 --> 0:31:14.160 So this like Toronto, which all makes me the Madison ultimately. 0:31:14.360 --> 0:31:16.160 Yeah. But then at the end of the day, I'm like, 0:31:16.200 --> 0:31:17.920 what is my type? I think my type is a 0:31:18.480 --> 0:31:21.240 mischievous smile. My type is a certain type of humor. 0:31:21.960 --> 0:31:24.840 Maybe a little bit of bossiness in the streets, but 0:31:26.200 --> 0:31:31.800 not bossy in the apartment. Not bossy in the apartment. 0:31:31.880 --> 0:31:35.840 Now do you think your mother's breastfeeding influenced your sexuality? Oh? 0:31:35.920 --> 0:31:40.080 Of course she had very large nipples, which is why 0:31:40.120 --> 0:31:41.479 I desire a small one. 0:31:41.720 --> 0:31:43.840 It's because in ancient times. 0:31:43.440 --> 0:31:45.840 As a rejection of the feminine. 0:31:46.320 --> 0:31:50.400 Right, the tinier the nipple, yes, the more you were attracted. 0:31:52.280 --> 0:31:54.920 Nipples of course, were very tiny in Western art for 0:31:55.000 --> 0:31:59.520 centuries until they started to gain prominence as a rejection 0:31:59.720 --> 0:32:00.880 of the female form. 0:32:01.200 --> 0:32:03.840 There's a guy that's interviewed in this book who says 0:32:03.920 --> 0:32:06.120 one of his turn ons is a woman who's really 0:32:06.120 --> 0:32:10.640 good at martial arts. Now, that's what I'm saying. The 0:32:10.680 --> 0:32:14.640 man's attraction is towards the brain. You know, it's like, yes, 0:32:14.800 --> 0:32:18.239 maybe he has mourning wood, but a man who likes 0:32:18.360 --> 0:32:20.240 martial arts, that's saying something. 0:32:20.600 --> 0:32:22.520 Do you think it's just like because there's all sorts 0:32:22.520 --> 0:32:24.760 of like a cultural fetishes that could come into play 0:32:24.760 --> 0:32:28.400 there where he's associating martial arts with you know, a 0:32:28.440 --> 0:32:31.360 badass woman, a woman, you know, like a dominant woman, 0:32:31.640 --> 0:32:37.280 a woman of asia possibly yes, a woman of wearing robes, 0:32:38.040 --> 0:32:41.200 which also has sexual connotations. And then the sword as 0:32:41.280 --> 0:32:45.680 fallis and so maybe there's also like a latent homosexual attraction. 0:32:45.880 --> 0:32:50.280 Right, I would say, like the martial arts, the desire 0:32:50.360 --> 0:32:53.440 of domination is the most ereotypical thing is you know, 0:32:53.560 --> 0:32:57.280 the businessman who wants to get walked on by stilettos. Now, 0:32:57.320 --> 0:33:01.920 the word stiletto, the trial first says, came up in 0:33:01.960 --> 0:33:07.880 America in the fifties and it's a long heeled shoe. 0:33:08.040 --> 0:33:14.160 Aphdity means sea foam, as Aphrodity did emerge from the 0:33:14.200 --> 0:33:18.600 waves of the Mediterranean and that's why women are so 0:33:18.640 --> 0:33:21.080 assoctutid water. And then it's like the documentary cut to 0:33:21.080 --> 0:33:23.360 that random woman just being like, oh, water is so 0:33:23.400 --> 0:33:24.120 sexual to me. 0:33:24.840 --> 0:33:28.440 I find the shower very erotic. Oh yeah, okay, like 0:33:28.480 --> 0:33:30.800 I would say, like the more like basic woman that's 0:33:30.840 --> 0:33:34.440 interviewed is this woman who says she's attracted to artsy guys, 0:33:34.800 --> 0:33:37.400 but then she describes the guys she's attracted to, and 0:33:37.440 --> 0:33:40.440 it's like, okay, everyone, She's like, I'm actually attracted to 0:33:41.120 --> 0:33:44.760 really tall guys. Yeah, oh yeah, with really broad shoulders. 0:33:45.120 --> 0:33:48.040 She's like, here's the thing. If they're tall without bron shoulders, 0:33:48.240 --> 0:33:52.560 then I don't like them. Dark eyes, dark hair, curly, 0:33:52.680 --> 0:33:55.960 dark hair. And then she's like, yeah, why do I 0:33:56.040 --> 0:33:59.280 have these fantasies of having sex in water? 0:33:59.600 --> 0:34:01.640 And it's just it's like tall, dark and handsome, like 0:34:01.680 --> 0:34:02.800 Guyana Beach it's. 0:34:02.680 --> 0:34:06.040 Like, yeah, that's fantasy. And then all these just like 0:34:06.080 --> 0:34:09.239 a nerdy dad scientists who have all written books called 0:34:09.280 --> 0:34:13.360 arousal are interviewed, and this one, like dad arousal expert, 0:34:13.440 --> 0:34:16.840 is like, you know, actually, when people have fantasies of 0:34:16.920 --> 0:34:19.840 having sex and nature, it's actually that they want to 0:34:19.880 --> 0:34:23.600 be free from the chaine of society. Yes, maybe they 0:34:23.680 --> 0:34:26.160 want to be caught. Some people want to be caught 0:34:26.200 --> 0:34:26.920 some people don't. 0:34:27.040 --> 0:34:28.360 Have you ever had sex in nature? 0:34:29.000 --> 0:34:32.040 No? Oh yeah, well. 0:34:31.880 --> 0:34:34.640 Maybe before you're forty. 0:34:34.760 --> 0:34:37.440 It's not something I necessarily you. 0:34:37.440 --> 0:34:40.000 Don't fantasize about. The liberation desire. 0:34:40.239 --> 0:34:43.720 It's more sex in yes, other places, but I wouldn't 0:34:43.719 --> 0:34:45.719 call it the other places nature that. 0:34:45.680 --> 0:34:50.600 I've had to them as like friends, parents, guests, rooms. 0:34:51.680 --> 0:34:55.160 You know, kind of more the American car, Yes, the 0:34:55.200 --> 0:34:56.840 European nightclub. 0:34:56.400 --> 0:34:59.959 Which is another side of masculinity, yes, American car. I mean, 0:35:00.160 --> 0:35:04.200 I think obviously game al culture is really very nature, 0:35:04.320 --> 0:35:09.160 very nature focused for cruising reasons, for social reasons, and 0:35:09.160 --> 0:35:11.479 then I think obviously that is bound up in social 0:35:11.520 --> 0:35:14.360 ideas of liberation, and so I think that the social 0:35:14.360 --> 0:35:17.600 aspect of is interesting. But I do wonder about the 0:35:17.840 --> 0:35:23.080 bye of physical relationship with nature, with feeling with dirt, 0:35:23.280 --> 0:35:27.680 with bark, with sand, with water, and what that does 0:35:28.200 --> 0:35:29.399 to eras well. 0:35:29.440 --> 0:35:31.640 It also if we go back to the phallus in 0:35:31.680 --> 0:35:33.680 the game and culture say, oh, you know the beach. 0:35:33.960 --> 0:35:37.000 To me, who was born with the anatomy of more 0:35:37.000 --> 0:35:41.120 of the labia minor, you know, the sex and the beach, 0:35:41.560 --> 0:35:48.000 it seems, oh, what's going to get inside? It's getting 0:35:48.000 --> 0:35:51.719 a little more shaped, it's getting a little more exfoliated. 0:35:52.320 --> 0:35:56.680 Yes, no, And I think that obviously anatomy wise there 0:35:56.760 --> 0:35:59.759 is more room to experiment. Of course, men are always 0:35:59.760 --> 0:36:02.520 pissed on trees, and then that has its whole like 0:36:02.960 --> 0:36:07.600 the sexual markers of domination and territoriality like coming to 0:36:07.680 --> 0:36:10.799 play there. But I actually wonder if there is in 0:36:10.920 --> 0:36:14.480 nature itself. We were talking about mother nature, right, I'll 0:36:14.520 --> 0:36:16.880 admit I've had sex in a bog before, and I 0:36:16.920 --> 0:36:19.839 think that a different bod a different. 0:36:21.360 --> 0:36:27.479 Okay, not the bobo. Just wanted to make things clear here. 0:36:27.560 --> 0:36:31.680 But it has a very mossy, spongy texture that is 0:36:31.680 --> 0:36:34.840 in some ways very feminine, right it almost I wonder 0:36:34.880 --> 0:36:37.680 if it is like men who were in the vision. Yes, 0:36:37.840 --> 0:36:40.560 it is a return to the womb that we crave. 0:36:40.840 --> 0:36:44.839 You're breastfeeding essential and you're saying, oh, we're here, but 0:36:45.040 --> 0:36:49.799 mother is watching, and mother is saying it's okay. Well, 0:36:49.840 --> 0:36:51.560 and it goes back to the brain thing. And you know, 0:36:51.600 --> 0:36:54.719 to quote Christian Cavaleria, the question always is, you know. 0:36:55.000 --> 0:36:57.839 Sexual expert Kristin Cavaleri, and she. 0:36:57.880 --> 0:36:59.799 Was like, what would I do if I had a 0:37:00.120 --> 0:37:02.920 parade where I would like jerk off all day long? 0:37:03.000 --> 0:37:08.799 Then I would piss? And I do think in that 0:37:08.840 --> 0:37:13.520 way like sex outside would be easier with the foulus. 0:37:13.480 --> 0:37:19.960 Absolutely and oral of course, although isn't oral easy anywhere 0:37:20.000 --> 0:37:20.560 for a woman? 0:37:21.040 --> 0:37:25.560 Or do you really need like the bed? I would 0:37:25.600 --> 0:37:28.920 call it easy, okay, you know what I mean, Like 0:37:29.120 --> 0:37:31.880 you could, but it's not easy. It would be more 0:37:31.920 --> 0:37:33.839 idea because you have to get a little bit more 0:37:34.360 --> 0:37:35.160 to get under. 0:37:35.360 --> 0:37:35.560 You know. 0:37:35.680 --> 0:37:38.080 It's it's like you're kneeling and the dick is just 0:37:38.200 --> 0:37:41.600 in your face. Hello, good morning Seattle. Right, ok, you 0:37:41.680 --> 0:37:43.759 have to kind of get under and spread. It's a 0:37:43.880 --> 0:37:46.480 little stand and finger. 0:37:46.760 --> 0:37:51.400 Fingering, yes, which I saw it. That panel once said 0:37:51.960 --> 0:37:54.520 that the lesbians at re speech in the seventies would 0:37:54.560 --> 0:37:56.400 stand in a shopping bag and figure each other so 0:37:56.440 --> 0:37:57.719 cops couldn't see under the door. 0:37:57.760 --> 0:38:00.800 Exactly. That's easy. You can absolutely fin you're in a bog. 0:38:01.160 --> 0:38:05.280 I want to talk about the connection between sex and comedy. 0:38:06.239 --> 0:38:10.400 Michael Bowder explains, we feel guilty and ashamed of sex, 0:38:10.840 --> 0:38:14.160 and so what jokes do is play on our guilt 0:38:14.200 --> 0:38:18.280 and shame, make us laugh and enable us to enjoy sex. 0:38:18.800 --> 0:38:22.640 It's a form of mastery. That's so interesting because in 0:38:22.719 --> 0:38:27.680 this context, sex becomes something we fear, something we must tame, 0:38:28.200 --> 0:38:33.319 and comedy jokes allow us to be in control over 0:38:33.320 --> 0:38:34.360 the dominion of sex. 0:38:34.719 --> 0:38:36.640 No one said it, but sex is almost like stand 0:38:36.680 --> 0:38:39.160 up the first time you do it. Yes, you're so 0:38:39.600 --> 0:38:43.400 they're so much frame and you probably won't kill No, 0:38:43.600 --> 0:38:44.520 you probably won't come. 0:38:44.640 --> 0:38:47.399 But when you get that first chuckle for the. 0:38:47.360 --> 0:38:49.760 Audience, oh, there's nothing better. 0:38:49.840 --> 0:38:52.719 It's the thumbs up and you say, I can keep going. 0:38:52.480 --> 0:38:54.920 And it's the building, and it's the building. Yes, But 0:38:55.160 --> 0:38:58.120 let's talk about actual jokes during sex. 0:38:58.440 --> 0:39:01.719 Hmm, okay, when you're doing the borsch belt routine in 0:39:01.800 --> 0:39:02.959 the booder, I. 0:39:02.840 --> 0:39:06.239 Think it's about right telling exact jokes. But I do 0:39:06.280 --> 0:39:08.400 think it's so important to have a little bit of 0:39:08.480 --> 0:39:12.400 humor and be able to laugh. Yeah, because also sometimes 0:39:12.400 --> 0:39:15.759 things can get awkward, things can get weird. 0:39:15.680 --> 0:39:19.080 If I may be radically vulnerable for a second. I 0:39:19.200 --> 0:39:26.319 actually think that I tend to laugh more on a 0:39:26.640 --> 0:39:31.160 second sexual outing with a man, because the first time, 0:39:31.320 --> 0:39:35.160 oh yeah, is almost a little it's like pretty performative. 0:39:36.280 --> 0:39:38.560 I mean, you're so into the fact that like, oh, 0:39:39.560 --> 0:39:42.600 we're in a hallway, like oh, the mayor d is 0:39:42.640 --> 0:39:43.520 coming right. 0:39:43.600 --> 0:39:45.439 I'm British. But then the. 0:39:45.360 --> 0:39:47.759 Second time, I think can be more giggly. I think 0:39:47.800 --> 0:39:50.880 as a relationship goes on and the oxytocin wanes, I 0:39:50.960 --> 0:39:55.239 actually find you probably giggle less unless you're reacting to 0:39:55.280 --> 0:39:59.719 something funny that's actually happening in real time, because you're 0:39:59.719 --> 0:40:02.120 actual doing more fantasy work. 0:40:02.360 --> 0:40:04.680 See it's so funny. I find the opposite. I actually 0:40:04.680 --> 0:40:06.680 find that the giggling is even more. 0:40:07.120 --> 0:40:10.720 You giggle more than ever at year eleven or fifteen. 0:40:11.160 --> 0:40:14.040 Yeah, because I feel like more of Actually, yeah, those 0:40:14.080 --> 0:40:19.560 first times are so like yeah, performative, interesting, not all 0:40:19.600 --> 0:40:22.160 the time, but then like you know, sometimes it is 0:40:22.200 --> 0:40:23.640 a little more giggly. 0:40:23.920 --> 0:40:26.520 See, I feel like the sex now this is now 0:40:26.680 --> 0:40:31.520 nobody wants this like literally, see, I feel like the 0:40:31.560 --> 0:40:35.480 sex with my rabbi now is it's like because we've 0:40:35.520 --> 0:40:39.240 been in a relationship for a longer time. It's more like, Oh, 0:40:39.480 --> 0:40:42.400 this is this is what I paid for, This is 0:40:42.400 --> 0:40:44.040 why I subscribe to the sub stack. 0:40:44.120 --> 0:40:47.000 You know what I mean? No laughing aloud. It's more 0:40:47.120 --> 0:40:50.040 like sometimes our laughter filled and sometimes are not. It 0:40:50.120 --> 0:40:53.040 depends on the play session, if you will. 0:40:53.239 --> 0:40:55.640 I guess, yes, it does depend on the play I'm 0:40:55.680 --> 0:41:01.040 not thinking like a little chuckle. I'm thinking like big laughs. 0:41:01.120 --> 0:41:04.440 Yeah, I guess I'm talking about more like little giggles. 0:41:04.560 --> 0:41:07.839 Oh yeah, I mean little giggles are always we're talking 0:41:07.840 --> 0:41:11.680 about this, Like who talk about hooping and hollering? Watching 0:41:12.120 --> 0:41:16.760 Kim Katrell walk through Cyprus, I was screaming with laughter. 0:41:17.000 --> 0:41:19.960 Yeah, I mean the movie is like one of the 0:41:20.000 --> 0:41:21.479 funniest movies I've ever seen. 0:41:21.520 --> 0:41:23.680 It's three ninety nine to round. 0:41:23.560 --> 0:41:28.360 And turning around and facing camera. She'll be like walking 0:41:28.400 --> 0:41:31.239 away and like wearing just like a weird top with 0:41:31.280 --> 0:41:34.480 like seven key holes in it, and then like turns 0:41:34.520 --> 0:41:37.440 around and faces the camera and just like and what's 0:41:37.680 --> 0:41:41.280 more interesting than sex with desire? 0:41:42.000 --> 0:41:45.040 Can I ask you a question, do you think me 0:41:45.239 --> 0:41:48.040 early more than parents? I actually, for me, I think 0:41:48.120 --> 0:41:51.480 early media. Probably I watched define sexuality. 0:41:52.040 --> 0:41:55.640 Yeah, I mean, of course, like movies completely defined sexuality. 0:41:55.680 --> 0:41:57.400 Would you like to share and be vulnerable? 0:41:57.719 --> 0:42:00.440 I mean, like, what dominating my fantasy? 0:42:00.560 --> 0:42:02.680 Or do you think what turned you on to something 0:42:02.760 --> 0:42:04.759 that you didn't even know you were turned on by? 0:42:05.400 --> 0:42:08.000 And you can be vague just named the film of 0:42:08.000 --> 0:42:12.000 a situation interesting In music, you know, maybe the fast 0:42:12.040 --> 0:42:16.840 paced techno of French electro, of daft punk. While driving? 0:42:17.040 --> 0:42:18.680 Yeah, I mean, you know, I look back at like 0:42:18.800 --> 0:42:21.879 Charlie's Angels too full Throttle and Justin Thireau and that 0:42:21.960 --> 0:42:24.359 film and his abs, But I also think like those 0:42:24.360 --> 0:42:26.760 are obvious things. It's like, oh, it's a guy with abs. 0:42:26.920 --> 0:42:29.160 Well, it's so funny you mentioned Charlie's Angels because I 0:42:29.160 --> 0:42:31.880 remember walking with you in the erotic town of Salem, 0:42:31.960 --> 0:42:35.360 Massachusetts once at a field trip and you said to me, 0:42:36.840 --> 0:42:39.360 Lucy Lou is so hot. 0:42:40.000 --> 0:42:42.600 That is interesting. 0:42:43.480 --> 0:42:48.400 Fourteenth Yeah, and she is, for sure, she totally is. 0:42:48.800 --> 0:42:55.200 And I was like, I think it was like, yes, 0:42:55.280 --> 0:42:56.440 seeing girls. 0:42:56.080 --> 0:42:59.040 Be dark, there's an anti social nest there a little 0:42:59.040 --> 0:43:01.760 bit because like dark girl wants to be submissive because 0:43:01.760 --> 0:43:03.680 it's like naughty. 0:43:03.080 --> 0:43:05.200 Yes, And then I think on the gay factor, it's like, 0:43:05.320 --> 0:43:07.759 maybe the dark girl is most likely to kind of 0:43:07.760 --> 0:43:13.120 be like be a lesbian, yeah, and not be fucking conventional. 0:43:13.520 --> 0:43:16.440 Right, that's also true, and it's just like, yeah, it's 0:43:16.600 --> 0:43:18.760 a flouting of convention in general. 0:43:18.920 --> 0:43:21.000 But then it's so virginal. But then in the opposite 0:43:21.040 --> 0:43:23.560 it's you know, what's more attractive that the basic right 0:43:23.560 --> 0:43:28.360 is the lacrosse player, the cheerleader who goes dark. It's funny. 0:43:28.400 --> 0:43:29.520 Then I think, you know, I was so into you 0:43:29.520 --> 0:43:31.840 and McGregor when we routines as well, and as I 0:43:31.880 --> 0:43:33.960 came out as bisexual in ninth grade, I started to 0:43:34.000 --> 0:43:37.879 really pursue a Uman McGregor crush with a plump and 0:43:38.360 --> 0:43:41.719 for me, he was a man, but there was also 0:43:41.719 --> 0:43:43.160 something a little bit gay and European about him, and 0:43:43.200 --> 0:43:45.239 so he was there was an accessibility there that I 0:43:45.280 --> 0:43:48.560 felt he was like a bridge to a sexuality I 0:43:48.640 --> 0:43:51.080 could have. And I didn't yet know if I wanted 0:43:51.080 --> 0:43:52.680 to be him or fuck him, but I was like 0:43:52.880 --> 0:43:55.120 I could live in a world of europeanist one. 0:43:55.000 --> 0:43:56.960 Day, yes, and I would like to bring up the 0:43:57.000 --> 0:43:59.439 movie that I think of kind of an ironic route 0:43:59.440 --> 0:44:02.120 for me, a life less Ordinary, which is Cameron Diaz 0:44:02.200 --> 0:44:05.000 and you and McGregor, and it is kind of this 0:44:05.160 --> 0:44:12.600 like sexy erotic European electronic music alternative mmm mm hm. 0:44:13.480 --> 0:44:17.120 And so once again you see your punk identity being 0:44:17.320 --> 0:44:19.960 validated in the erotic narrative. 0:44:20.120 --> 0:44:22.719 It is ideas. And she is more a blonde you're saying, 0:44:22.960 --> 0:44:25.400 I'm not, oh so she's no, But she's kind of 0:44:25.480 --> 0:44:28.960 dark in that movie, a little more like Kimeron's is 0:44:28.960 --> 0:44:31.080 always a guy's girl. It's a guys girl. It's kind 0:44:31.080 --> 0:44:33.000 of like, what if I said this. 0:44:33.200 --> 0:44:35.759 Do you see orgasm as freedom? 0:44:36.040 --> 0:44:39.880 Yes? I think she brings up in this book studies show. 0:44:40.760 --> 0:44:43.239 You know, it's the only time in life, you know, 0:44:43.320 --> 0:44:46.920 you're not trying to do this. Politics aren't being discussed 0:44:48.560 --> 0:44:49.120 really let go. 0:44:49.520 --> 0:44:51.640 The French of course called Le putino, which means the 0:44:51.680 --> 0:44:54.120 little death, and it is a death because it is 0:44:54.160 --> 0:44:58.799 a release quite physically literally released. But also do we 0:44:58.880 --> 0:45:02.240 lose our cells in create a space for something larger 0:45:02.280 --> 0:45:06.279 as she argues, or is it just sensation? It's so 0:45:06.360 --> 0:45:09.080 hard to say because it's like the one moment when 0:45:09.080 --> 0:45:13.239 you really can't be thinking about something truly, except those 0:45:13.320 --> 0:45:16.560 times though, when you know you're psyching yourself out, like 0:45:16.600 --> 0:45:18.759 you're like, oh, like, don't think about my dad while 0:45:18.760 --> 0:45:21.279 I'm coming, And then like because you're trying to not 0:45:21.360 --> 0:45:23.279 think about it, then you're thinking about it, you know, 0:45:25.360 --> 0:45:27.400 and then you're like running your fingers along in the 0:45:27.440 --> 0:45:29.560 dry cleaning in your dad's closet and you're just like, 0:45:29.560 --> 0:45:30.080 why am I here? 0:45:30.120 --> 0:45:31.680 Why am I here? And like you can't get out 0:45:31.719 --> 0:45:35.960 of there. You're smelling his big socks. Run the marathon in. 0:45:37.600 --> 0:45:39.880 But other than that, I feel like that's. 0:45:39.680 --> 0:45:43.399 Always more for pre but more during. Yeah, your lights 0:45:43.400 --> 0:45:45.600 at don't think about that because that's such a thing 0:45:45.680 --> 0:45:47.400 you're not supposed to think about during. 0:45:47.440 --> 0:45:52.240 It is just like total utter loss. 0:45:51.680 --> 0:45:54.200 Of what you're supposed to do in this I wonder 0:45:54.239 --> 0:45:56.239 you know, we haven't discussed porn yet, but you know, 0:45:56.280 --> 0:46:00.000 there's a lot being said today about how porn ruins fantasm, 0:46:00.320 --> 0:46:02.360 and people both on the left and right under the 0:46:02.400 --> 0:46:08.440 spectrum have said that porn is changing the way that 0:46:08.800 --> 0:46:14.319 people view their own sexuality and their expectations from sexual partners, 0:46:14.920 --> 0:46:18.200 their expectations of their own identity, creation and how they 0:46:18.280 --> 0:46:19.320 see themselves. 0:46:20.440 --> 0:46:23.840 I'm wondering to what extent that's true. Obviously, I've been 0:46:23.880 --> 0:46:26.360 looking at porn for most of my career. 0:46:26.400 --> 0:46:27.280 As a man. 0:46:27.480 --> 0:46:30.000 It's hard to say how much has influenced me or 0:46:30.080 --> 0:46:34.480 not because I'm very into taboo, power dynamics and porn. 0:46:34.920 --> 0:46:41.399 I think the stepfather, the stepfather, the military man. It's 0:46:41.520 --> 0:46:44.239 like the boy scout leader and the truth, the. 0:46:44.239 --> 0:46:46.760 Class of the teacher, the football. 0:46:46.400 --> 0:46:48.640 Code, Like there's always something like that, and like the 0:46:48.840 --> 0:46:51.839 more like difference the cop and the guy who's been 0:46:51.880 --> 0:46:53.560 accused of shoplifting. 0:46:53.960 --> 0:46:57.640 Like it's kind of like fast food everything in moderation. 0:46:57.840 --> 0:47:00.800 Oh, in terms of porn not affecting you're but it's like, 0:47:00.880 --> 0:47:02.640 but all those fantasies to me are kind of like. 0:47:02.520 --> 0:47:05.600 They're there before. Yeah, they're only they're there to kind 0:47:05.600 --> 0:47:08.840 of help you come along. I don't mean to do 0:47:08.880 --> 0:47:09.840 it in new ways. 0:47:10.160 --> 0:47:12.359 But I think the criticism would be that it's like 0:47:12.560 --> 0:47:17.560 you're watching people like be so porny in the way 0:47:17.600 --> 0:47:19.560 they move and interact with each other physically. 0:47:19.880 --> 0:47:22.279 Right, they're saying that like porn ruins the way you're 0:47:22.320 --> 0:47:23.520 having sex, because. 0:47:23.320 --> 0:47:25.520 Then you're not being like curious and exploring with your 0:47:25.560 --> 0:47:30.880 fingers and really inhaling someone's scent and their leather and 0:47:30.920 --> 0:47:33.239 they're better and they're cinnamon and you're not like. 0:47:33.160 --> 0:47:35.000 They're pumpkins burying your. 0:47:34.960 --> 0:47:37.080 Like plague nose and their cinematon. 0:47:37.200 --> 0:47:39.600 I know, I'm like, does Kim Katrell because. 0:47:39.360 --> 0:47:40.920 You're just like thinking about a porn just kind of 0:47:41.400 --> 0:47:42.440 watching porn. 0:47:42.680 --> 0:47:43.920 I feel like she's. 0:47:43.680 --> 0:47:47.719 Watching porn in a way where she's like lighting candles 0:47:47.760 --> 0:47:50.839 and watching like an eighties porn like with her love. 0:47:50.880 --> 0:47:53.360 No, I know, I think it's like candles. I almost 0:47:53.440 --> 0:47:55.719 wonder if it's like seventies it's. 0:47:55.800 --> 0:47:58.440 Yeah, it's definitely older porn. But she's like interested in 0:47:58.520 --> 0:48:00.319 like a new directtion. 0:48:01.560 --> 0:48:04.560 Right, this is a sweetish direction, right, it's a little 0:48:04.600 --> 0:48:07.680 more erotic films like whatever I happened to NC seventeen 0:48:07.840 --> 0:48:11.600 an erotic film for me? Yeah, that was the Doom 0:48:11.680 --> 0:48:16.040 Generation Gregor Rocky erotic thriller. Yes, I was like seeing 0:48:16.160 --> 0:48:19.040 things that, like I was like, I've never seen this before, 0:48:19.520 --> 0:48:22.080 and she is more of the erotic film than like 0:48:22.200 --> 0:48:24.399 with what she's been mareed three times but is now 0:48:24.400 --> 0:48:27.200 single good for her? I know her last marriage was 0:48:27.200 --> 0:48:28.360 to an audio technician. 0:48:28.840 --> 0:48:31.160 Wow, I bet you know how to turn her mouth. 0:48:31.320 --> 0:48:33.680 Because sound is also so huge. 0:48:34.360 --> 0:48:36.719 Sound is really big because it's. 0:48:36.640 --> 0:48:38.959 About receiving the sound from your lover. 0:48:39.280 --> 0:48:42.239 Yes. Sound is because if they're just. 0:48:42.200 --> 0:48:43.680 Silent, then it's. 0:48:43.560 --> 0:48:46.920 Like hello, Yeah, it's funny. 0:48:47.040 --> 0:48:47.400 I don't know. 0:48:47.440 --> 0:48:48.160 I'm into both. 0:48:48.400 --> 0:48:50.439 I'm into sound and visuals. But almost now i'm thinking 0:48:50.440 --> 0:48:52.120 about it, I'm like, maybe I'm more into sound. 0:48:52.320 --> 0:48:54.840 I'm into both a loud lover and also like a 0:48:54.920 --> 0:48:55.879 deadly silent lover. 0:48:56.040 --> 0:48:58.600 Well, because that's erotic into its own. Yes, because it's 0:48:58.640 --> 0:49:00.959 like I'm taking over you're just here. 0:49:02.440 --> 0:49:05.120 It creates more space for my sound. 0:49:05.600 --> 0:49:09.879 You're like the loud one. It's about you're the loud one, 0:49:10.200 --> 0:49:12.120 and it's about kind of more. I think you're more like, 0:49:12.400 --> 0:49:15.480 let me have more like the silent football coach, right, 0:49:15.960 --> 0:49:33.359 so you can be Madison studies show segments how does 0:49:33.400 --> 0:49:36.000 she live? What does she wear? What does she eat? 0:49:36.239 --> 0:49:40.600 Are we doing that for? Or okay, what does she eat? 0:49:40.920 --> 0:49:45.240 Peaches, oyster, chocolate, pomeg cinnamon. 0:49:46.320 --> 0:49:49.080 You know what's actually such? I think an erotic, more 0:49:49.239 --> 0:49:53.400 chemicatrolic erotic meal. In this way, it's so like cherry 0:49:53.560 --> 0:49:57.080 cinnamon lamb chops. 0:49:55.840 --> 0:50:00.200 Like something kind of like so the Sandra d used 0:50:00.200 --> 0:50:01.600 to have the cooking show. If you said, there's like 0:50:01.640 --> 0:50:05.839 someone who posts like unhinged recipes, and like there's one 0:50:05.840 --> 0:50:10.760 where she's there just like it's chocolate cherry wine ribs. 0:50:10.880 --> 0:50:13.880 And she's just always been like, I'm making a blueberry 0:50:13.920 --> 0:50:18.000 sauce for my like a dobo like chocolate tacos. 0:50:17.520 --> 0:50:21.120 And that's very like I'm forty three, I'm divorced and 0:50:21.160 --> 0:50:25.680 I'm seducing another forty five year old businessman. Yeah, and 0:50:25.719 --> 0:50:30.520 the way to his stomach is cabernet. Yeah, and chocolate ribs. 0:50:30.640 --> 0:50:34.200 No, She's definitely like red meat, red fruit. I mean, 0:50:34.239 --> 0:50:37.440 it's just that literalism of just like red being passion 0:50:37.560 --> 0:50:38.600 and so I'm gonna eat red. 0:50:38.880 --> 0:50:42.600 I'm like, I don't think food for me, it's food. 0:50:42.480 --> 0:50:43.320 Is so erotic. 0:50:43.440 --> 0:50:47.520 For you, You're red side. Food is erotic. But like 0:50:48.320 --> 0:50:51.280 if we're talking about like what's kind of the most erotic, 0:50:51.320 --> 0:50:55.000 it's being not fault I tell you that that's for me. 0:50:56.440 --> 0:51:00.839 But of course, but the day food and making its full. 0:51:01.280 --> 0:51:04.760 There's nothing actually more food driven than lack of food, 0:51:05.000 --> 0:51:07.680 because it's hunger. It's hunger itself, and it's hunger for 0:51:07.760 --> 0:51:10.320 what is it hunger for pussy or is it hunger 0:51:10.360 --> 0:51:10.759 for veal? 0:51:10.760 --> 0:51:18.040 Parmegan It's then feel. 0:51:16.080 --> 0:51:21.560 Like that's really Italian like lesbian sext toy line. 0:51:21.760 --> 0:51:28.480 Feel now I got veal on the braid. Okay, so 0:51:28.640 --> 0:51:37.040 Kim Katrell, It's champagne, it's chocolate covered strawberries, balsamac It's 0:51:37.080 --> 0:51:41.120 Mediterranean style. Yeah, it's great, believes so many. 0:51:41.760 --> 0:51:43.799 It's anything that can be like fed to you while 0:51:43.800 --> 0:51:46.080 you're reclining on a rock. 0:51:48.000 --> 0:51:48.839 What does she wear? 0:51:49.200 --> 0:51:51.480 Honestly, she should walk in a Couslado show. 0:51:51.560 --> 0:51:55.240 Oh my god, Yeah, because she's like creative nitwear. Yeah, 0:51:55.320 --> 0:52:00.919 it's off the shoulder, elbow patches and then slits on 0:52:01.040 --> 0:52:03.520 the sleeve. But then also it's like I think she's 0:52:03.560 --> 0:52:09.400 still just like body con leopard coat, stilettos, sweater. 0:52:09.400 --> 0:52:12.560 Because she's pushing seventy and she looks amazing and she 0:52:12.800 --> 0:52:15.040 is just kind of being like, I'm gonna do classic 0:52:15.200 --> 0:52:19.000 power women's beltic stuff. Obviously, her character in The Sex 0:52:19.000 --> 0:52:21.879 and the City dresses in this really loud. 0:52:21.760 --> 0:52:24.520 Like business Patricia sex business. 0:52:24.280 --> 0:52:27.440 One where she's always wearing like a crazy pink suit 0:52:27.520 --> 0:52:29.360 and like the animal prim send. 0:52:29.239 --> 0:52:31.600 Like the belt. In her personal life, I. 0:52:31.520 --> 0:52:35.040 Think she is like more sexy, but it's more coastal 0:52:35.080 --> 0:52:37.640 because she grew up on Vancouver Island. It's always like 0:52:37.680 --> 0:52:39.920 a little bit rocky, a little bit like. 0:52:40.360 --> 0:52:45.799 She's sitting actually looking over because she's cold beat and 0:52:45.840 --> 0:52:49.840 I think she's wrapping her maybe nude body in a 0:52:49.960 --> 0:52:51.320 huge cashmir blanket. 0:52:51.480 --> 0:52:56.400 Yes and throws yes, and like booties. 0:52:57.200 --> 0:53:00.160 She's not like very sneaker. I don't think no oh, 0:53:00.880 --> 0:53:03.640 and I think she is stilettos and like stomping on 0:53:03.680 --> 0:53:06.200 her audio. Guy, how does she live? 0:53:06.280 --> 0:53:11.080 She's definitely has framed photos of boundary bursting burlesque babes 0:53:11.800 --> 0:53:15.480 like j Baker ships. 0:53:16.920 --> 0:53:21.759 On her wall and so May West quotes same. And 0:53:21.800 --> 0:53:26.040 also I think it's like paintings of legs. Yeah, and 0:53:26.120 --> 0:53:31.600 fallus sculptures. Its house so fabulous. It's sexy Buddha. 0:53:31.880 --> 0:53:34.720 And does she live in like Scotland, Toronto or. 0:53:35.000 --> 0:53:39.120 I think she's London, Okay, And so also she's pulling 0:53:39.160 --> 0:53:40.560 out like ancient. 0:53:41.560 --> 0:53:45.640 She hates Carrie Bradshaw. She lives in London. So what 0:53:45.680 --> 0:53:47.719 I like about this book is at the end there's 0:53:47.760 --> 0:53:49.920 not even a note from her. There's just a note 0:53:49.960 --> 0:53:53.600 from the publisher. The publisher would like to acknowledge with 0:53:53.760 --> 0:53:57.320 enormous thanks the following people for their invaluable help on flagging, enthusiasm, generosity, 0:53:57.360 --> 0:53:59.640 and grace during the making this book. Kim Ktrell, who 0:53:59.680 --> 0:54:02.160 gave a this wonderful opportunity to work with her. They're 0:54:02.239 --> 0:54:04.480 kind of being like, she didn't write it, but we 0:54:04.560 --> 0:54:06.680 thank her for sort of for involvement in the book. 0:54:07.120 --> 0:54:09.799 And then this big quote, desire is like the sun, 0:54:10.239 --> 0:54:16.400 It nurtures, it burns, it's heat irresistible. You're like, oh, okay, Waters, 0:54:17.760 --> 0:54:18.320 I mean earth. 0:54:18.640 --> 0:54:20.840 Desire is life is Freud said, everything is erotic. I 0:54:20.880 --> 0:54:22.719 don't know if it's a direct quote, but it's basically 0:54:22.800 --> 0:54:25.279 what his kind of thing was. And it's like, I 0:54:25.360 --> 0:54:27.279 do think the lesson of the book is it's like 0:54:27.680 --> 0:54:30.960 sexuality is in everything, and it informs everything we do, 0:54:31.040 --> 0:54:33.640 and if you are not in touch with the living world, 0:54:33.640 --> 0:54:35.879 in the world around you, your sex life is not. 0:54:35.840 --> 0:54:38.080 Going to be satisfying exactly. I don't think it is 0:54:38.120 --> 0:54:40.399 an on and off switch, and I think we need 0:54:40.440 --> 0:54:43.080 to kind of throw these ideas of what turns a 0:54:43.120 --> 0:54:45.960 man on what turns a woman on? It's really what 0:54:46.080 --> 0:54:47.320 turns mom or Earth. 0:54:47.200 --> 0:54:50.600 On, yes, and what turns her off? Climate change? 0:54:50.760 --> 0:54:55.719 Thank you, so use plastics d growth. Now. 0:54:56.040 --> 0:54:59.600 Also, let me just note the book was printed in Singapore. 0:55:00.680 --> 0:55:04.719 That makes sense. I feel like she like. 0:55:04.800 --> 0:55:07.960 Had this idea and like told the documentary to HBO 0:55:08.000 --> 0:55:10.360 and they're like, I mean, we can't say no because 0:55:10.400 --> 0:55:12.040 like in the city is like such a big deal. 0:55:12.080 --> 0:55:13.880 You can kind of do whatever you want. But like 0:55:13.880 --> 0:55:18.520 we al should have a book to random and they 0:55:18.560 --> 0:55:20.440 like went to random house and they were like. 0:55:20.400 --> 0:55:26.160 This is random, Okay, who are you in the book? 0:55:29.280 --> 0:55:32.040 I mean, I think you're kind of aphrodity or I 0:55:32.160 --> 0:55:33.920 was emerging from the sea. Thank you. 0:55:34.760 --> 0:55:36.799 But you're also affro dating because you are such a 0:55:36.840 --> 0:55:37.400 water book. 0:55:37.520 --> 0:55:43.239 No, I know, and I'm always coming out like both mean, 0:55:43.320 --> 0:55:48.560 like what happened in there? I don't know. I give 0:55:48.719 --> 0:55:53.080 this book well, I give the documentary film five to 0:55:53.080 --> 0:55:57.880 five out of five fallacies. The book, the photography, the 0:55:57.920 --> 0:56:02.279 visuals are amazing. Personally, I would like a lot more 0:56:02.400 --> 0:56:06.680 personal information from Kim on like what turns her on, 0:56:06.880 --> 0:56:09.719 but I respect her privacy. I guess at the end 0:56:09.760 --> 0:56:10.080 of the. 0:56:10.160 --> 0:56:15.400 Day, Yeah, it's pretty random, or even more about like 0:56:15.760 --> 0:56:18.000 I don't know because the stories in the book it 0:56:18.080 --> 0:56:20.120 is so general, it's just studies show. It could have 0:56:20.120 --> 0:56:21.880 been more interesting. She was a little bit more like 0:56:21.960 --> 0:56:25.400 when we were in Cyprus, like I saw this hot guy, yeah, 0:56:25.520 --> 0:56:28.520 or like I talked to the Cypriot, like who has said. 0:56:28.360 --> 0:56:31.640 Dating like this is? Like at first did laugh in the. 0:56:32.160 --> 0:56:34.040 Journey and I wish it were a little bit more 0:56:34.080 --> 0:56:36.400 of a global survey of sexuality and a little less 0:56:36.440 --> 0:56:37.880 just like study show. 0:56:38.280 --> 0:56:42.759 And then the five Toronto bisexuals that she go watch. 0:56:42.760 --> 0:56:45.480 The movie branded on Apple TV do Yourself a Favor, 0:56:45.760 --> 0:56:54.240 Okay best CEO. Stephen and Lily was produced by. 0:56:55.080 --> 0:56:59.920 One in four women in the Italian Peninsula who've never 0:57:00.080 --> 0:57:00.960 had an orgasm. 0:57:01.280 --> 0:57:06.400 Darby Masters, supervising producer is a man in Toronto who's 0:57:06.520 --> 0:57:10.080 dated many women at one time and lives to tell 0:57:10.120 --> 0:57:14.360 the tale Aboo Zafar. It was also produced by the 0:57:14.440 --> 0:57:16.720 Goddess herself, Christina Efron. 0:57:16.880 --> 0:57:21.720 Our engineer was New York photographer Bahid Fraser, who's been 0:57:21.720 --> 0:57:25.400 capturing glimpses of women's private parts since the early two 0:57:25.400 --> 0:57:27.760 thousands in and around the New York City area. 0:57:28.160 --> 0:57:33.440 Music actually is full of sex and thank god we 0:57:33.520 --> 0:57:36.800 have a theme song by a sexy music producer known 0:57:36.800 --> 0:57:37.919 as Stephen Phillipswurst. 0:57:38.600 --> 0:57:41.840 The concept for this podcast, which originally created by seminal 0:57:41.960 --> 0:57:47.880 sexologist and podcast production company Prolog Projects. We're no longer 0:57:47.920 --> 0:57:50.280 affiliated with them, but we wish them the best in 0:57:50.320 --> 0:57:51.320 their erotic journey. 0:57:51.640 --> 0:57:54.640 Find us and support our research on Patreon, dot com, 0:57:54.680 --> 0:57:57.960 slash CBC the pod, and a huge thank you to 0:57:58.000 --> 0:58:00.720 all of our lovers who have been leaving make five 0:58:00.800 --> 0:58:06.040 Star Refuse. They make us feel very pleased.