Speaker 1: Ron Burguny Podcast. Hello and welcome to the Ron Burgundy Podcast. Carolina,
Speaker 1: how are you doing. I'm fine. I've just been waiting
Speaker 1: here for two hours. I thought was everything okay, everything
Speaker 1: was fine. We said twelve o'clock, didn't we Yeah, I
Speaker 1: just um, it's two o'clock, is it? Oh? My watch
Speaker 1: is two hours slow? Not my apologies, and I usually
Speaker 1: remember when I wear this watch. Remember, Ronnie, this one's
Speaker 1: two hours slow. So keep that in mind. I can
Speaker 1: help me get that fixed, or we can get you
Speaker 1: a new I don't know. It's kind of a a
Speaker 1: little superstitious. I'm like a ball player, you know that
Speaker 1: way where hey, if it ain't broke, it is, it's
Speaker 1: just runs slow, that's it. Because I'm afraid they're gonna
Speaker 1: take a look underneath the hood, so to speak, and
Speaker 1: replace it with Chinese parts or something. I don't know. Regardless,
Speaker 1: we're here, we're queer. Get used right, which is a
Speaker 1: classic classics saying from the revolutionary wartimes. Um, I'd like
Speaker 1: to open up the old mail bag and pick out
Speaker 1: some letters from our fans. We have a mail bag?
Speaker 1: Did someone give us I didn't know that we have one? Hello, Carolina,
Speaker 1: Back from the beach. Yes, we have a mail bag.
Speaker 1: Of course, we have a mail bag. We've always had
Speaker 1: a mail bag. This is a real podcast, you know.
Speaker 1: I get a lot of letters about all kinds of subjects,
Speaker 1: furniture repair, dog grooming, skincare, book binding, chemistry. I've been
Speaker 1: asked how to pick combination locks, how to make your
Speaker 1: own lumber mill, how to make love as a popular
Speaker 1: a question of course, and how to be classy, just
Speaker 1: to name a few. So I try and respond to
Speaker 1: every letter I get with at least ten to fifteen pages.
Speaker 1: But some subjects deserve a whole book, and believe me,
Speaker 1: I'm working on it. When I'm done, i'll have a
Speaker 1: whole encyclopedia, twenty volumes of information on just about everything
Speaker 1: under the sun. Look out, Wiggy Waggy, I'm coming for you,
Speaker 1: twenty eight or twenty nine volumes, weighing over a hundred
Speaker 1: and forty pounds of solid book weight, leather bound and
Speaker 1: available on the installment plan. The Ron Burgundy Encyclopedia will
Speaker 1: have so much information you'll never need to look at
Speaker 1: your phone again. I'm so sorry you're writing an encyclopedia. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: I am, okay, And how far have you gotten. I
Speaker 1: don't know. Gosh, if I had to guess, maybe fifty
Speaker 1: pages pages, Well, I mean they need to be typed up.
Speaker 1: We're talking to my tape requorder almost every day while
Speaker 1: I'm driving, or playing golf, or at the movie ease
Speaker 1: in the supermarket, even even when I'm sleeping. You talk
Speaker 1: into a tape recorder at the movies. Sure, you never
Speaker 1: know when a great idea or or some knowledge is
Speaker 1: going to pop into your brain. You have to be
Speaker 1: ready to to get it down. And anyway, Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I've recorded reams and reams of information and someone just
Speaker 1: needs to type it up to Dada Encyclopedia. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: so but I'm getting off subject, which I hate to do.
Speaker 1: Back to the mail bag, Um, okay, let's see here.
Speaker 1: Here is a letter I got only last week from
Speaker 1: one of my fan club Premium gold members. Do people
Speaker 1: pay to be in your fan club? There's different levels.
Speaker 1: There's Premium Gold is the top level. We may start
Speaker 1: platinum uh next fall, but right now it's Premium Gold
Speaker 1: and you can all the perks that come with Premium Gold.
Speaker 1: Dear Ron, my name is Timmy Wilson and I'm eleven
Speaker 1: years old and next week me and some of my
Speaker 1: friends are going camping. That's adorable, right, I've never been camping.
Speaker 1: My father is a pussy who works in an office
Speaker 1: making coffee and eating doughnuts and doesn't have time for
Speaker 1: me or my sister. You can't even throw a football
Speaker 1: or ride a bike or do anything. He mainly sits
Speaker 1: in a chair at home and watches news. And I
Speaker 1: guess I love him, but sometimes I think he's not
Speaker 1: my real father because my mother is around a lot. Anyway,
Speaker 1: if you have any tips on camping, I sure would
Speaker 1: like it, because my dad is a real never mos
Speaker 1: the lawn or fixes anything, and doesn't know a thing
Speaker 1: about anything fun. Your friend Timmy Wilson, is he okay?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what was that letter? Well it was
Speaker 1: in the Premium Gold He's a Premium Gold member, so
Speaker 1: he's got to be doing pretty good. Uh well, Timmy,
Speaker 1: you're in because I know just about everything you need
Speaker 1: to know about camping an outdoor life, and today I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give you some fast tips that'll make you look
Speaker 1: like a real little outdoorsman. Your friends will think you
Speaker 1: must have some kind of great father, even if you
Speaker 1: and I know he's a real So, without further ado,
Speaker 1: here's the Ron Burgundy Ultimate Short Guide to Camping. And
Speaker 1: I say short guide because there's a book coming, but
Speaker 1: it's several years away. Now. Today, I have a simplest
Speaker 1: of five things you'll need for any camping trip. Carolina.
Speaker 1: Are you ready? Yes? Okay, Well we'll be right back
Speaker 1: with that after these messages. Right well, right back after
Speaker 1: these messages left, and we are back on the Ron
Speaker 1: Burgundy Podcast. Carolina, you got your head in the game.
Speaker 1: I don't know why you keep checking on me doing
Speaker 1: a camping to do list for one of our Premium
Speaker 1: Gold Fan club members, Timmy Wilson. Yes, sorry, I thought
Speaker 1: we were going to interview Richard Dreyfust today. Dry Fust
Speaker 1: will have to wait. This Timmy Wilson camping situation needs
Speaker 1: immediate attention called drive us up, and you know, do
Speaker 1: one of your lies. Don't play dumb over there. You're
Speaker 1: a classic liar. Your mouth is like a lying factory,
Speaker 1: assembling lie after lie after lies. So don't play dumb
Speaker 1: with me. Okay. Camping tips for a little Timmy Wilson
Speaker 1: never said he was little. Camping Tip number one, Timmy,
Speaker 1: if you're going to go camping. The first thing you'll
Speaker 1: need to buy is a good RV, preferably a fter,
Speaker 1: but you can go as small as fourteen and still
Speaker 1: haul a boat trailer without too much trouble. Without a
Speaker 1: solid recreational vehicle timmy camping will be a real yeah.
Speaker 1: Ok uh, No one wants to put up a tent
Speaker 1: and sleep on the dirt. That's for long hairs and
Speaker 1: Civil War reenactors, not for real campers. A good RV
Speaker 1: will have at least eight power outlets for the usual
Speaker 1: camping supplies stove, toaster, blender, emergency radio, pleasure radio, TV,
Speaker 1: and wine refrigerator. I prefer the longer to fort r
Speaker 1: vs because you get the large living room area for
Speaker 1: entertaining and watching the game. Don't cheap out and look
Speaker 1: for an old school bus. That's not camping. That's called
Speaker 1: being in a rock and roll band, and it has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with the appreciation of nature. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: What's pleasure radio? Pleasure radio is just for you know,
Speaker 1: listening to music stations and then emergency radio. You just
Speaker 1: keep dialed to more AM news stations, or you can
Speaker 1: keep it on like an emergency frequency for emergency information,
Speaker 1: or you can get a Bobcat scanner. All right, Tip
Speaker 1: number two skip the big parks. As an American, I
Speaker 1: couldn't be more proud of our great national park system
Speaker 1: with all its many glorious parks, from Yellowstone to Big
Speaker 1: ben from Sequoia to the Everglades. We live in the
Speaker 1: eighth greatest country in the world, and I actually get
Speaker 1: choked up thinking about our national parks. Run m Are
Speaker 1: you okay? Is it? Is it the nature? Yeah, I'm okay.
Speaker 1: I just get a little choked up. What they think
Speaker 1: about a majestic bald eagle soaring on the wings of
Speaker 1: freedom or large mouth bass? Is it leaps from a
Speaker 1: cool lake? The call of the wolves and the cry
Speaker 1: of the bobcat. We live in a great country. You
Speaker 1: said it was the eighth greatest country in the world.
Speaker 1: Eighth greatest country, Yes, but number eight is pretty high up. However,
Speaker 1: it's better to park the RV in a state park
Speaker 1: where there are a few rules and regulations. If you
Speaker 1: get my drift your you're gonna want to keep the
Speaker 1: music and wine flowing late into the night. And those
Speaker 1: national parks can be a real wet blanket for fun.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll park in a Walmart parking lot. That way,
Speaker 1: you're right next to supplies, and you you tend to
Speaker 1: meet all kinds of interesting folks in a Walmart parking
Speaker 1: lot late at night. And I can tell you from
Speaker 1: experience though, do not start a fire in a Walmart
Speaker 1: parking lot. That that's a big no no. Just something
Speaker 1: to keep in mind. Tip number three. If you're gonna
Speaker 1: steal picnic baskets, look out for those sneaky park rangers.
Speaker 1: The number one crime in all national and state parks,
Speaker 1: and people don't know this is picnic basket theft. And
Speaker 1: as fun as it is to snag a picnic basket
Speaker 1: and run from a ranger, the consequence can be fatal.
Speaker 1: Gun happy park rangers are taught to shoot first and
Speaker 1: ask questions later if they suspect a basket robbery. That said,
Speaker 1: there's nothing more exhilarating than grabbing a basket of sandwiches
Speaker 1: and potatoes salad making a break for it. I've probably
Speaker 1: stolen over a hundred baskets in it. It never gets old.
Speaker 1: Picnic baskets. One hundred at least picnic baskets. Yes. In fact,
Speaker 1: there's one family I target every July when they go
Speaker 1: up to Yosemite for their family reunion. So see you soon,
Speaker 1: Mr and Mrs Anderson. Uh. Tip number four, wear a suit.
Speaker 1: Most people who go camping think camping means never looking good.
Speaker 1: I've seen men and women out there wearing the same
Speaker 1: pair of shorts for days. No socks, no vests, no jackets,
Speaker 1: just t shirts and shorts. Sometimes they're they're barefoot. If
Speaker 1: you can believe it, it's probably the way you dress
Speaker 1: when you go camping. Carolina. Well, yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: like camping, and I dressed pretty casual because you're you're
Speaker 1: gonna get dirty anyway, So why get all do all that?
Speaker 1: You know, boy, no one is listening out there. Don't
Speaker 1: listen to Carolina. Camping is no time to skimp on
Speaker 1: style and class. You You can wear a suit. They
Speaker 1: make nice leisure suits with plenty of stretch and bold
Speaker 1: colors for outdoor living. It doesn't have to be a
Speaker 1: three piece suit, although I prefer all three pieces. But
Speaker 1: you really should wear a suit. The only time you
Speaker 1: wouldn't wear a suit, of course, is when you go
Speaker 1: for a swim in the lake or the other of
Speaker 1: you wear a bathing suit. Wrong again, young lady. Tip
Speaker 1: number four always swim in the nude when you're out
Speaker 1: in the wild always, it's invigorating and liberating and makes
Speaker 1: you feel it one with nature. When you're hitting parts
Speaker 1: are free, you feel free. It's that simple. It's probably
Speaker 1: illegal though, you know this. Um, we just have to
Speaker 1: keep in mind what we're telling Timmy because he's eleven,
Speaker 1: and we told him to buy an RV and to
Speaker 1: wear a suit free p suit, and now we're telling
Speaker 1: him to you know, get naked in National Park. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: then I'm also happy to tell Timmy this. If it's
Speaker 1: illegal to be free and wild, then what kind of
Speaker 1: constitution did George Washington? Right? Does he say we're supposed
Speaker 1: to be free and wild? I'm pretty sure because I
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know how you feel, but I
Speaker 1: don't want to live in a country where men and
Speaker 1: women can't swim in the nude and sunbathe in the
Speaker 1: nude and walk through town nude. I just don't. And Timmy,
Speaker 1: if you're listening, and I know you are, you're listening
Speaker 1: out there, never be afraid to take your clothes off
Speaker 1: and walk around town. It's the best advice I can give.
Speaker 1: I just want to know that Timmy is okay, I
Speaker 1: mean his dad's his mom's number five. When telling ghost
Speaker 1: stories around the fire at night, remember the sound effects.
Speaker 1: Ghost stories are not scary without proper sound effects. Here's
Speaker 1: an example. I could hear each footstep as the headless
Speaker 1: man slowly comes up the stairwell towards my room. Great,
Speaker 1: great squeak, craig. See. With the proper sound effect, the
Speaker 1: storytelling is elevated. It puts you right in the scene.
Speaker 1: You try, you try, airline, do the footsteps cree cree
Speaker 1: c Holy, that's terrible. It sounds like you're singing. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: it's not scary at all. Here's one inside the walls.
Speaker 1: I could hear the ideous sound of the cold beating heart.
Speaker 1: But but dump, but dump, but dump? Huh? Pretty scary, right,
Speaker 1: It's not just the storytelling, it's the sound effects. People
Speaker 1: will jump out of their skin. Here's a cat sound.
Speaker 1: I make me tell me that doesn't scare the Carolina. Okay,
Speaker 1: you try a cat's okay? Oh my god, not to sell.
Speaker 1: Do not invite Carolina to the ghost storytelling time around
Speaker 1: the fire. Seriously about this. You call out the ghost
Speaker 1: story sound effect you want to hear and I'll give
Speaker 1: it to you. Okay, I'll give it to you. Good um. Okay,
Speaker 1: creaky door here which I'm an old witch and I
Speaker 1: need to children. Demon dog howl, oh good one um,
Speaker 1: rattling chains, scantle scantle skins, gettle scantle skills, blood curdling scream,
Speaker 1: oh um, eating human flesh, ghost noise. Okay, I need
Speaker 1: to stuff this. Stuffs getting too scary. But I think
Speaker 1: you see what I mean, right, Yeah, I was terrifying.
Speaker 1: We had great sound effects to your ghost stories. I
Speaker 1: mean it really will make you the hit of the
Speaker 1: camp and and you know that's about it for camping tips. Now, Timmy,
Speaker 1: get out there and have fun, all right, Carolina, what's
Speaker 1: next from the old mail bag? Okay, so the thing
Speaker 1: is that we don't have a mail bag or a
Speaker 1: fan club. I don't even know where you got that
Speaker 1: letter from that little kid, because that's such a messed
Speaker 1: up life from Timmy. Yeah, well, then it's on to
Speaker 1: the next segment. Let's say the podcast is humming along
Speaker 1: just fine. When we get back, we'll play our celebrated
Speaker 1: animal names song and welcome back to the Ron Burgundy Podcast.
Speaker 1: Let me just take a pause here and ask Carolina
Speaker 1: a question. Have you ever thought that some animal names
Speaker 1: were just stupid? What do you mean, like the names
Speaker 1: we call animals like dog and moves and shark? Like
Speaker 1: like who came up with these names? I don't know
Speaker 1: who came up with any names. You know, they're just
Speaker 1: part of the language. I guess, Yeah, that's what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about. It's pretty pretty random, you know. I mean,
Speaker 1: why don't we call dogs squinks? Have you been? Are
Speaker 1: you smoking pot? I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on?
Speaker 1: Or sharks wouldn't wouldn't a better name be dragoons? I
Speaker 1: just feel like if you called sharks dragoons, people wouldn't
Speaker 1: know what you were talking about. And well that's why
Speaker 1: we have to change things to get it right. Raccoon
Speaker 1: isn't right at all, but double wins, that is, See
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I don't really name an animal with
Speaker 1: a bad name. Um, woodpecker. Oh right, that's a terrible name.
Speaker 1: It should be called a lanceer ROI okay, how about
Speaker 1: an elephant? Um, I wouldn't want to change that one.
Speaker 1: They nailed that one. But an eagle, I mean, give
Speaker 1: me a break. An eagle should be called a Tanta Martin. See,
Speaker 1: this is fun. What about a coyote? Awful name, just awful.
Speaker 1: We should be calling coyotes char nips. That's what they
Speaker 1: look like. You try one. How about a cat? I
Speaker 1: would call a cat a gravel t it wonderful, Carolina,
Speaker 1: A gravel t it is the best name ever for
Speaker 1: a cat. How about a pig? My new name for
Speaker 1: a pig is a gorrant. Nice. We'll start calling pigs
Speaker 1: gorrants today. There are so many names we can change.
Speaker 1: Animals have stupid names. Let's make them new. It's a
Speaker 1: fun thing to do. Let's change the names of animals
Speaker 1: like pan or lizard or even a vampire bath. Let's
Speaker 1: change all the names. It's a fun, fun game. Let's
Speaker 1: change the names of animals. Wasn't that fun? Uh, we'll
Speaker 1: be right back after this. Alright, we're back to the
Speaker 1: Ron Burgundy podcast. Well, Carolina, we've done it again. No guests,
Speaker 1: me talking, you listening a complete show. Actually we're a
Speaker 1: little short run short. No, it's impossible. I got a
Speaker 1: custom made real Lex Aviation special edition time piece that
Speaker 1: hasn't missed a second of its life guaranteed. See is
Speaker 1: not the watch that says that yeah, two hours. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a rule X. Role x is spelled with one
Speaker 1: L and an X at the end. So what's not mine?
Speaker 1: Mine is spelled r O L l e k S.
Speaker 1: So that's not a rule X. That's actually some kind
Speaker 1: of knockoff. Dare you? I bought this legitimately from a
Speaker 1: guy who desperately needed a bus ticket to get back
Speaker 1: to his wife and kids who were being held at
Speaker 1: gunpoint by Russian agents. That sounds like a scam, Carolina,
Speaker 1: Who in their right mind would make up a story
Speaker 1: like that to just try and get two thousand dollars?
Speaker 1: You paid two thou dollars for that watch? I did,
Speaker 1: and I lend in my car. The situation seemed pretty desperate,
Speaker 1: I mean, Russian agents. Can you imagine your family being
Speaker 1: held by Russian agents and not being able to help? You?
Speaker 1: Lent this guy your car? When was this about? Oh,
Speaker 1: let's see eight years ago? Um? And has he returned
Speaker 1: the car? Not yet? You will? Okay? He left me
Speaker 1: his name and number and it's right here in my wallet,
Speaker 1: let's hear Justin Blieber four nine six seven three. Okay, Yes,
Speaker 1: that sounds legit. You did not get taken for two
Speaker 1: thou dollars in your car. I am sorry. No need
Speaker 1: to apologize to me. It's Mr Blieber. You should apologize
Speaker 1: to well. Even though that's a legit role X watch.
Speaker 1: We are still short on time. I've got an idea.
Speaker 1: Let's show our listeners my one of a kind legendary
Speaker 1: knife collection. It's a podcast, so we can't really show
Speaker 1: them anything. Well, you describe the knives and I'll tell
Speaker 1: people a little bit about each one. When I worked
Speaker 1: in radio, we had to paint pictures for our audience
Speaker 1: all the time. So you can do it. It'll be fun. Okay, sure,
Speaker 1: I guess if it gets us through the show. Um,
Speaker 1: where is this one of a kind knife collection? Where
Speaker 1: I always keep it in the trunk of my car?
Speaker 1: So I'll just I'll just go get it and we
Speaker 1: can we can take a Breakay, here we go. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Oh my god, you keep all of those
Speaker 1: knives in the trunk of your car? Yes, I do.
Speaker 1: I need them in the trunk because I have to
Speaker 1: take them to knife shows all over Southern California to
Speaker 1: display and trade with other knife collectors. It's it's a
Speaker 1: hobby and I enjoy it. Pick one anyone. Okay that one?
Speaker 1: Oh boy, did you? Did you not understand me? You
Speaker 1: need to paint a picture of the knife you're pointing
Speaker 1: at and then I'll talk about it. Okay, yes, right,
Speaker 1: talk about that one. It doesn't even have a blade,
Speaker 1: and um, it's kind of wooden looking, but it doesn't
Speaker 1: have a blade and there's a metal ring on it.
Speaker 1: This is going to be rough. Yikes. Okay, say it's
Speaker 1: wooden and has a ring on it. It does, however,
Speaker 1: have a aid. It's a Boy Scout pocket knife. See
Speaker 1: the blade folds out like this, I cut myself. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna need a band aid. No, biggie, are you okay?
Speaker 1: It's nothing, barely got the skinned? Keep going. Uh? So
Speaker 1: you were in the Boy Scouts. Of course I was.
Speaker 1: It's a wonderful, time honored institution that teaches young boys
Speaker 1: to be men through camping and woodcraft and first aid
Speaker 1: and bird watching. I was an Eagle Scout for your information,
Speaker 1: Is that special? It's a very big deal. Yes. So
Speaker 1: that's not really a rare knife, not really, but it
Speaker 1: does have an interesting story behind it. I joined the
Speaker 1: Boy Scouts when I was about nine. I had been
Speaker 1: a Cub Scout of course, so the transition was fairly easy.
Speaker 1: I waited with heart pounding anticipation all summer long for
Speaker 1: our first big inter troop jamboree. Every troop from the
Speaker 1: whole state would be there, and not just the twenty
Speaker 1: boys in my troop, but thousands of eager young scouts.
Speaker 1: Our scout master was a man's man who knew everything
Speaker 1: about camping and boating and making fires. We we called
Speaker 1: him Mr Safely because if you ever were doing something dangerous,
Speaker 1: he would come up from behind and hug you real
Speaker 1: tight to keep you safe. Anyway, one night, after we
Speaker 1: had roasted marshmallows and told scary stories, everyone went to bed.
Speaker 1: Mr Safely asked if I could come to his tent
Speaker 1: before going to bed. It was something a lot of
Speaker 1: the boys did and was considered a real honor. There
Speaker 1: was something you wanted to show me. Um, maybe we
Speaker 1: can cut the story short. It doesn't seem like such
Speaker 1: a good idea. Anyway, I got my PGS and I
Speaker 1: went off to Mr. Safely's tent. He had a big
Speaker 1: tent filled with candy and magazines and cool stuff, and
Speaker 1: he offered me a candy and asked if I had
Speaker 1: a girlfriend. Then he said he had something he wanted
Speaker 1: to show me, something he was hiding in his shorts.
Speaker 1: He told me to close my eyes, and then I
Speaker 1: heard some rustling. When I opened my eyes, guess what
Speaker 1: was sticking right in my face? Um? A wiener? Huh
Speaker 1: what a wiener? No, no, you dummy? This pocket knife?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, a wiener. Where did you get that from? No?
Speaker 1: He gave me my very first pocket knife. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: gave him out to all the boys that we're doing good,
Speaker 1: a weener. It's just you hear these stories about these
Speaker 1: scout masters. I don't know what kind of stories you're
Speaker 1: talking about. Pick another knife, weener, really, mr safely, seriously, here,
Speaker 1: pick another knife. Describe it. Um, it's long, has leather,
Speaker 1: and it's some jewels. Carolina. You really cannot paint a picture,
Speaker 1: can you. That's called a gladius, and it's actually a
Speaker 1: short Roman sword, or sometimes referred to incorrectly as a dagger.
Speaker 1: I have daggers, hundreds of daggers, and this is no dagger.
Speaker 1: The leather case is called a scabbard. And believe me,
Speaker 1: you need the case because these things are two sided
Speaker 1: and very sharp. This one I paid a pretty penny
Speaker 1: for how much I bought it for around four dollars.
Speaker 1: The jewels encrusted on the handles alone are worth maybe
Speaker 1: a million dollars. A million dollars, I said, maybe, who knows.
Speaker 1: But pay attention to the intricate details on the blade
Speaker 1: when I when I take it out of the scabbard.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, darn it, I cut myself again. It's smart,
Speaker 1: really does anyway. Ah, that's a beautiful knife and very sharp.
Speaker 1: That's a sharp knife. Pick another one. What's the rusty
Speaker 1: old one there? Don't just point well, it's long and
Speaker 1: kind of rusty and has a weird, crooked looking handle.
Speaker 1: What you're looking at is not the handle, but a
Speaker 1: clip for sticking on the end of a gun. It's
Speaker 1: called a bannet and was used in this nation's bloodiest war,
Speaker 1: the Civil War. Why would you put a knife on
Speaker 1: a gun? Wouldn't you just shoot the gun? It was
Speaker 1: used in tight hand to hand combat when men were
Speaker 1: upon each other so thick in battle that a loaded
Speaker 1: gun was useless. Many men died from the steel of
Speaker 1: a bayonet like this one. Oh Carolina, The vengeance that
Speaker 1: looks in the black bosom of mankind has caused untold
Speaker 1: mysteries over the centuries. What evil dough men do with
Speaker 1: in the name of righteous balla a blood red history
Speaker 1: is red larger palmer winds of tibe. Here inscribing this
Speaker 1: bayonet lies the deadly cost of all shameful wickedness. Okay,
Speaker 1: So how does it go on a gun? Simple? You
Speaker 1: grab the bayonet here, and you make sure not to
Speaker 1: touch the boy, don't. I got myself again, more band aids. Please,
Speaker 1: let's just stop. Stop pick that one, okay. Uh, tell
Speaker 1: me something about that knife. It looks like a butter knife.
Speaker 1: It is a butter knife, and as you know, butter
Speaker 1: knives are not sharp. They are for spreading butter on toast.
Speaker 1: I swiped this butter knife from a fancy five star
Speaker 1: seafood restaurant called the Red Lobster. It's pure silver and
Speaker 1: worth quite a lot of money. The restaurant closed down
Speaker 1: some time ago, so I don't think they'll be coming
Speaker 1: after me. Really, I think there are red Lobsters everywhere. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm sure you don't know what you're talking about. No,
Speaker 1: it's a chain. There are thousands of them. Agree to
Speaker 1: disagree anyway. It's a one of a kind. Butter knife
Speaker 1: from that hard to believe it, but I just cut
Speaker 1: myself with a butter knife. Your hands are looking really bad.
Speaker 1: It's normal whenever I show my knife collection, I get
Speaker 1: cut up. I can't be helped. Moving on. What's the
Speaker 1: round thing with like five knives coming out of it? Yes,
Speaker 1: it's a Japanese throwing star, one of the deadliest silent
Speaker 1: killers in all of combat. My friend ken Yashimoto sold
Speaker 1: that to me for ten thousand dollars. It's lineage is uncertain,
Speaker 1: but goes back to the earliest days of the Samurai warriors.
Speaker 1: Don't pick that up. It says made in China. Here
Speaker 1: on this side, right here that sticker as was true.
Speaker 1: I'm sure some of the some of the best metal
Speaker 1: smiths from the twelfth century were from mainland China. Put
Speaker 1: it down carefully, Carolina. Each blade is its own, meticulously
Speaker 1: sharpened knife. I thought maybe I should hold the knives
Speaker 1: from now on. Don't be an idiot give me that.
Speaker 1: I don't want to give it to me. Now you
Speaker 1: cut me that time, that's on you. We quit. No
Speaker 1: pick another knife. I'm slur everyone is interested. Pig one,
Speaker 1: you're a little white Okay, that one that looks like
Speaker 1: a metal bat. It's called a caral Bit knife is
Speaker 1: the tech tactical knife for I've lost a lot of blood.
Speaker 1: I can see it now. It's it's an old dirt
Speaker 1: road leading to a little country church. I want to
Speaker 1: go there, Carolina, it's it looks beautiful. Run run, Carolina.
Speaker 1: What are you doing here? Why are in this white room?
Speaker 1: My head feels like a spongy balloon area? Look at all.
Speaker 1: The Ron Burgundy Podcast is a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: I'm Ron Burgundy. The host, writer and executive producer. Carolina
Speaker 1: Barlow is my co host, writer and producer. Our producer
Speaker 1: is Nick Stump. Our talent coordinator is an a host.
Speaker 1: Gang writers are Andrew Steele and Jake Fogoless. This episode
Speaker 1: was engineered, mixed, and edited by Nick Stuff. Until next Time,
Speaker 1: Mrs Ron Burgundy, m