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Speaker 1: Ron Burguny Podcast. Hello and welcome to the Ron Burgundy Podcast. Carolina,

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Speaker 1: how are you doing. I'm fine. I've just been waiting

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Speaker 1: here for two hours. I thought was everything okay, everything

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Speaker 1: was fine. We said twelve o'clock, didn't we Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: just um, it's two o'clock, is it? Oh? My watch

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Speaker 1: is two hours slow? Not my apologies, and I usually

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Speaker 1: remember when I wear this watch. Remember, Ronnie, this one's

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Speaker 1: two hours slow. So keep that in mind. I can

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Speaker 1: help me get that fixed, or we can get you

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Speaker 1: a new I don't know. It's kind of a a

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Speaker 1: little superstitious. I'm like a ball player, you know that

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Speaker 1: way where hey, if it ain't broke, it is, it's

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Speaker 1: just runs slow, that's it. Because I'm afraid they're gonna

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Speaker 1: take a look underneath the hood, so to speak, and

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Speaker 1: replace it with Chinese parts or something. I don't know. Regardless,

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Speaker 1: we're here, we're queer. Get used right, which is a

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Speaker 1: classic classics saying from the revolutionary wartimes. Um, I'd like

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Speaker 1: to open up the old mail bag and pick out

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Speaker 1: some letters from our fans. We have a mail bag?

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Speaker 1: Did someone give us I didn't know that we have one? Hello, Carolina,

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Speaker 1: Back from the beach. Yes, we have a mail bag.

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Speaker 1: Of course, we have a mail bag. We've always had

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Speaker 1: a mail bag. This is a real podcast, you know.

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Speaker 1: I get a lot of letters about all kinds of subjects,

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Speaker 1: furniture repair, dog grooming, skincare, book binding, chemistry. I've been

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Speaker 1: asked how to pick combination locks, how to make your

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Speaker 1: own lumber mill, how to make love as a popular

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Speaker 1: a question of course, and how to be classy, just

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Speaker 1: to name a few. So I try and respond to

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Speaker 1: every letter I get with at least ten to fifteen pages.

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Speaker 1: But some subjects deserve a whole book, and believe me,

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Speaker 1: I'm working on it. When I'm done, i'll have a

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Speaker 1: whole encyclopedia, twenty volumes of information on just about everything

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Speaker 1: under the sun. Look out, Wiggy Waggy, I'm coming for you,

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Speaker 1: twenty eight or twenty nine volumes, weighing over a hundred

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Speaker 1: and forty pounds of solid book weight, leather bound and

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Speaker 1: available on the installment plan. The Ron Burgundy Encyclopedia will

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Speaker 1: have so much information you'll never need to look at

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Speaker 1: your phone again. I'm so sorry you're writing an encyclopedia. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: I am, okay, And how far have you gotten. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Gosh, if I had to guess, maybe fifty

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Speaker 1: pages pages, Well, I mean they need to be typed up.

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Speaker 1: We're talking to my tape requorder almost every day while

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Speaker 1: I'm driving, or playing golf, or at the movie ease

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Speaker 1: in the supermarket, even even when I'm sleeping. You talk

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Speaker 1: into a tape recorder at the movies. Sure, you never

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Speaker 1: know when a great idea or or some knowledge is

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Speaker 1: going to pop into your brain. You have to be

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Speaker 1: ready to to get it down. And anyway, Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: I've recorded reams and reams of information and someone just

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Speaker 1: needs to type it up to Dada Encyclopedia. Yes, okay,

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Speaker 1: so but I'm getting off subject, which I hate to do.

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Speaker 1: Back to the mail bag, Um, okay, let's see here.

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Speaker 1: Here is a letter I got only last week from

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Speaker 1: one of my fan club Premium gold members. Do people

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Speaker 1: pay to be in your fan club? There's different levels.

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Speaker 1: There's Premium Gold is the top level. We may start

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Speaker 1: platinum uh next fall, but right now it's Premium Gold

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Speaker 1: and you can all the perks that come with Premium Gold.

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Speaker 1: Dear Ron, my name is Timmy Wilson and I'm eleven

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Speaker 1: years old and next week me and some of my

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Speaker 1: friends are going camping. That's adorable, right, I've never been camping.

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Speaker 1: My father is a pussy who works in an office

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Speaker 1: making coffee and eating doughnuts and doesn't have time for

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Speaker 1: me or my sister. You can't even throw a football

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Speaker 1: or ride a bike or do anything. He mainly sits

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Speaker 1: in a chair at home and watches news. And I

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Speaker 1: guess I love him, but sometimes I think he's not

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Speaker 1: my real father because my mother is around a lot. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: if you have any tips on camping, I sure would

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Speaker 1: like it, because my dad is a real never mos

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Speaker 1: the lawn or fixes anything, and doesn't know a thing

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Speaker 1: about anything fun. Your friend Timmy Wilson, is he okay?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, what was that letter? Well it was

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Speaker 1: in the Premium Gold He's a Premium Gold member, so

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Speaker 1: he's got to be doing pretty good. Uh well, Timmy,

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Speaker 1: you're in because I know just about everything you need

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Speaker 1: to know about camping an outdoor life, and today I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna give you some fast tips that'll make you look

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Speaker 1: like a real little outdoorsman. Your friends will think you

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Speaker 1: must have some kind of great father, even if you

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Speaker 1: and I know he's a real So, without further ado,

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Speaker 1: here's the Ron Burgundy Ultimate Short Guide to Camping. And

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Speaker 1: I say short guide because there's a book coming, but

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Speaker 1: it's several years away. Now. Today, I have a simplest

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Speaker 1: of five things you'll need for any camping trip. Carolina.

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Speaker 1: Are you ready? Yes? Okay, Well we'll be right back

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Speaker 1: with that after these messages. Right well, right back after

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Speaker 1: these messages left, and we are back on the Ron

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Speaker 1: Burgundy Podcast. Carolina, you got your head in the game.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why you keep checking on me doing

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Speaker 1: a camping to do list for one of our Premium

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Speaker 1: Gold Fan club members, Timmy Wilson. Yes, sorry, I thought

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Speaker 1: we were going to interview Richard Dreyfust today. Dry Fust

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Speaker 1: will have to wait. This Timmy Wilson camping situation needs

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Speaker 1: immediate attention called drive us up, and you know, do

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Speaker 1: one of your lies. Don't play dumb over there. You're

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Speaker 1: a classic liar. Your mouth is like a lying factory,

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Speaker 1: assembling lie after lie after lies. So don't play dumb

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Speaker 1: with me. Okay. Camping tips for a little Timmy Wilson

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Speaker 1: never said he was little. Camping Tip number one, Timmy,

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Speaker 1: if you're going to go camping. The first thing you'll

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Speaker 1: need to buy is a good RV, preferably a fter,

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Speaker 1: but you can go as small as fourteen and still

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Speaker 1: haul a boat trailer without too much trouble. Without a

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Speaker 1: solid recreational vehicle timmy camping will be a real yeah.

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Speaker 1: Ok uh, No one wants to put up a tent

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Speaker 1: and sleep on the dirt. That's for long hairs and

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Speaker 1: Civil War reenactors, not for real campers. A good RV

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Speaker 1: will have at least eight power outlets for the usual

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Speaker 1: camping supplies stove, toaster, blender, emergency radio, pleasure radio, TV,

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Speaker 1: and wine refrigerator. I prefer the longer to fort r

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Speaker 1: vs because you get the large living room area for

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Speaker 1: entertaining and watching the game. Don't cheap out and look

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Speaker 1: for an old school bus. That's not camping. That's called

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Speaker 1: being in a rock and roll band, and it has

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with the appreciation of nature. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: What's pleasure radio? Pleasure radio is just for you know,

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Speaker 1: listening to music stations and then emergency radio. You just

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Speaker 1: keep dialed to more AM news stations, or you can

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Speaker 1: keep it on like an emergency frequency for emergency information,

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Speaker 1: or you can get a Bobcat scanner. All right, Tip

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Speaker 1: number two skip the big parks. As an American, I

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Speaker 1: couldn't be more proud of our great national park system

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Speaker 1: with all its many glorious parks, from Yellowstone to Big

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Speaker 1: ben from Sequoia to the Everglades. We live in the

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Speaker 1: eighth greatest country in the world, and I actually get

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Speaker 1: choked up thinking about our national parks. Run m Are

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Speaker 1: you okay? Is it? Is it the nature? Yeah, I'm okay.

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Speaker 1: I just get a little choked up. What they think

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Speaker 1: about a majestic bald eagle soaring on the wings of

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Speaker 1: freedom or large mouth bass? Is it leaps from a

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Speaker 1: cool lake? The call of the wolves and the cry

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Speaker 1: of the bobcat. We live in a great country. You

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Speaker 1: said it was the eighth greatest country in the world.

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Speaker 1: Eighth greatest country, Yes, but number eight is pretty high up. However,

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Speaker 1: it's better to park the RV in a state park

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Speaker 1: where there are a few rules and regulations. If you

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Speaker 1: get my drift your you're gonna want to keep the

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Speaker 1: music and wine flowing late into the night. And those

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Speaker 1: national parks can be a real wet blanket for fun.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll park in a Walmart parking lot. That way,

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Speaker 1: you're right next to supplies, and you you tend to

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Speaker 1: meet all kinds of interesting folks in a Walmart parking

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Speaker 1: lot late at night. And I can tell you from

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Speaker 1: experience though, do not start a fire in a Walmart

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Speaker 1: parking lot. That that's a big no no. Just something

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Speaker 1: to keep in mind. Tip number three. If you're gonna

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Speaker 1: steal picnic baskets, look out for those sneaky park rangers.

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Speaker 1: The number one crime in all national and state parks,

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Speaker 1: and people don't know this is picnic basket theft. And

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Speaker 1: as fun as it is to snag a picnic basket

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Speaker 1: and run from a ranger, the consequence can be fatal.

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Speaker 1: Gun happy park rangers are taught to shoot first and

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Speaker 1: ask questions later if they suspect a basket robbery. That said,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing more exhilarating than grabbing a basket of sandwiches

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Speaker 1: and potatoes salad making a break for it. I've probably

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Speaker 1: stolen over a hundred baskets in it. It never gets old.

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Speaker 1: Picnic baskets. One hundred at least picnic baskets. Yes. In fact,

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Speaker 1: there's one family I target every July when they go

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Speaker 1: up to Yosemite for their family reunion. So see you soon,

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Speaker 1: Mr and Mrs Anderson. Uh. Tip number four, wear a suit.

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Speaker 1: Most people who go camping think camping means never looking good.

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Speaker 1: I've seen men and women out there wearing the same

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Speaker 1: pair of shorts for days. No socks, no vests, no jackets,

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Speaker 1: just t shirts and shorts. Sometimes they're they're barefoot. If

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Speaker 1: you can believe it, it's probably the way you dress

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Speaker 1: when you go camping. Carolina. Well, yeah, I mean I

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Speaker 1: like camping, and I dressed pretty casual because you're you're

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Speaker 1: gonna get dirty anyway, So why get all do all that?

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Speaker 1: You know, boy, no one is listening out there. Don't

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Speaker 1: listen to Carolina. Camping is no time to skimp on

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Speaker 1: style and class. You You can wear a suit. They

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Speaker 1: make nice leisure suits with plenty of stretch and bold

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Speaker 1: colors for outdoor living. It doesn't have to be a

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Speaker 1: three piece suit, although I prefer all three pieces. But

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Speaker 1: you really should wear a suit. The only time you

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Speaker 1: wouldn't wear a suit, of course, is when you go

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Speaker 1: for a swim in the lake or the other of

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Speaker 1: you wear a bathing suit. Wrong again, young lady. Tip

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Speaker 1: number four always swim in the nude when you're out

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Speaker 1: in the wild always, it's invigorating and liberating and makes

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Speaker 1: you feel it one with nature. When you're hitting parts

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Speaker 1: are free, you feel free. It's that simple. It's probably

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Speaker 1: illegal though, you know this. Um, we just have to

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Speaker 1: keep in mind what we're telling Timmy because he's eleven,

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Speaker 1: and we told him to buy an RV and to

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Speaker 1: wear a suit free p suit, and now we're telling

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Speaker 1: him to you know, get naked in National Park. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: then I'm also happy to tell Timmy this. If it's

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Speaker 1: illegal to be free and wild, then what kind of

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Speaker 1: constitution did George Washington? Right? Does he say we're supposed

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Speaker 1: to be free and wild? I'm pretty sure because I

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't know how you feel, but I

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Speaker 1: don't want to live in a country where men and

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Speaker 1: women can't swim in the nude and sunbathe in the

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Speaker 1: nude and walk through town nude. I just don't. And Timmy,

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Speaker 1: if you're listening, and I know you are, you're listening

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Speaker 1: out there, never be afraid to take your clothes off

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Speaker 1: and walk around town. It's the best advice I can give.

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Speaker 1: I just want to know that Timmy is okay, I

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Speaker 1: mean his dad's his mom's number five. When telling ghost

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Speaker 1: stories around the fire at night, remember the sound effects.

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Speaker 1: Ghost stories are not scary without proper sound effects. Here's

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Speaker 1: an example. I could hear each footstep as the headless

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Speaker 1: man slowly comes up the stairwell towards my room. Great,

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Speaker 1: great squeak, craig. See. With the proper sound effect, the

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Speaker 1: storytelling is elevated. It puts you right in the scene.

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Speaker 1: You try, you try, airline, do the footsteps cree cree

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Speaker 1: c Holy, that's terrible. It sounds like you're singing. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: it's not scary at all. Here's one inside the walls.

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Speaker 1: I could hear the ideous sound of the cold beating heart.

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Speaker 1: But but dump, but dump, but dump? Huh? Pretty scary, right,

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Speaker 1: It's not just the storytelling, it's the sound effects. People

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Speaker 1: will jump out of their skin. Here's a cat sound.

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Speaker 1: I make me tell me that doesn't scare the Carolina. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you try a cat's okay? Oh my god, not to sell.

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Speaker 1: Do not invite Carolina to the ghost storytelling time around

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Speaker 1: the fire. Seriously about this. You call out the ghost

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Speaker 1: story sound effect you want to hear and I'll give

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Speaker 1: it to you. Okay, I'll give it to you. Good um. Okay,

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Speaker 1: creaky door here which I'm an old witch and I

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Speaker 1: need to children. Demon dog howl, oh good one um,

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Speaker 1: rattling chains, scantle scantle skins, gettle scantle skills, blood curdling scream,

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Speaker 1: oh um, eating human flesh, ghost noise. Okay, I need

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Speaker 1: to stuff this. Stuffs getting too scary. But I think

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Speaker 1: you see what I mean, right, Yeah, I was terrifying.

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Speaker 1: We had great sound effects to your ghost stories. I

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Speaker 1: mean it really will make you the hit of the

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Speaker 1: camp and and you know that's about it for camping tips. Now, Timmy,

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Speaker 1: get out there and have fun, all right, Carolina, what's

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Speaker 1: next from the old mail bag? Okay, so the thing

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Speaker 1: is that we don't have a mail bag or a

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Speaker 1: fan club. I don't even know where you got that

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Speaker 1: letter from that little kid, because that's such a messed

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Speaker 1: up life from Timmy. Yeah, well, then it's on to

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Speaker 1: the next segment. Let's say the podcast is humming along

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Speaker 1: just fine. When we get back, we'll play our celebrated

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Speaker 1: animal names song and welcome back to the Ron Burgundy Podcast.

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Speaker 1: Let me just take a pause here and ask Carolina

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Speaker 1: a question. Have you ever thought that some animal names

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Speaker 1: were just stupid? What do you mean, like the names

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Speaker 1: we call animals like dog and moves and shark? Like

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Speaker 1: like who came up with these names? I don't know

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Speaker 1: who came up with any names. You know, they're just

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Speaker 1: part of the language. I guess, Yeah, that's what I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about. It's pretty pretty random, you know. I mean,

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Speaker 1: why don't we call dogs squinks? Have you been? Are

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Speaker 1: you smoking pot? I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on?

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Speaker 1: Or sharks wouldn't wouldn't a better name be dragoons? I

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Speaker 1: just feel like if you called sharks dragoons, people wouldn't

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Speaker 1: know what you were talking about. And well that's why

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Speaker 1: we have to change things to get it right. Raccoon

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Speaker 1: isn't right at all, but double wins, that is, See

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I don't really name an animal with

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Speaker 1: a bad name. Um, woodpecker. Oh right, that's a terrible name.

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Speaker 1: It should be called a lanceer ROI okay, how about

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Speaker 1: an elephant? Um, I wouldn't want to change that one.

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Speaker 1: They nailed that one. But an eagle, I mean, give

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Speaker 1: me a break. An eagle should be called a Tanta Martin. See,

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Speaker 1: this is fun. What about a coyote? Awful name, just awful.

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Speaker 1: We should be calling coyotes char nips. That's what they

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Speaker 1: look like. You try one. How about a cat? I

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Speaker 1: would call a cat a gravel t it wonderful, Carolina,

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Speaker 1: A gravel t it is the best name ever for

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Speaker 1: a cat. How about a pig? My new name for

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Speaker 1: a pig is a gorrant. Nice. We'll start calling pigs

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Speaker 1: gorrants today. There are so many names we can change.

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Speaker 1: Animals have stupid names. Let's make them new. It's a

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Speaker 1: fun thing to do. Let's change the names of animals

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Speaker 1: like pan or lizard or even a vampire bath. Let's

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Speaker 1: change all the names. It's a fun, fun game. Let's

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Speaker 1: change the names of animals. Wasn't that fun? Uh, we'll

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Speaker 1: be right back after this. Alright, we're back to the

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Speaker 1: Ron Burgundy podcast. Well, Carolina, we've done it again. No guests,

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Speaker 1: me talking, you listening a complete show. Actually we're a

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Speaker 1: little short run short. No, it's impossible. I got a

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Speaker 1: custom made real Lex Aviation special edition time piece that

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Speaker 1: hasn't missed a second of its life guaranteed. See is

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Speaker 1: not the watch that says that yeah, two hours. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a rule X. Role x is spelled with one

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Speaker 1: L and an X at the end. So what's not mine?

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Speaker 1: Mine is spelled r O L l e k S.

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Speaker 1: So that's not a rule X. That's actually some kind

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Speaker 1: of knockoff. Dare you? I bought this legitimately from a

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Speaker 1: guy who desperately needed a bus ticket to get back

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Speaker 1: to his wife and kids who were being held at

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Speaker 1: gunpoint by Russian agents. That sounds like a scam, Carolina,

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Speaker 1: Who in their right mind would make up a story

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Speaker 1: like that to just try and get two thousand dollars?

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Speaker 1: You paid two thou dollars for that watch? I did,

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Speaker 1: and I lend in my car. The situation seemed pretty desperate,

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Speaker 1: I mean, Russian agents. Can you imagine your family being

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Speaker 1: held by Russian agents and not being able to help? You?

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Speaker 1: Lent this guy your car? When was this about? Oh,

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Speaker 1: let's see eight years ago? Um? And has he returned

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Speaker 1: the car? Not yet? You will? Okay? He left me

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Speaker 1: his name and number and it's right here in my wallet,

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Speaker 1: let's hear Justin Blieber four nine six seven three. Okay, Yes,

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Speaker 1: that sounds legit. You did not get taken for two

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Speaker 1: thou dollars in your car. I am sorry. No need

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Speaker 1: to apologize to me. It's Mr Blieber. You should apologize

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Speaker 1: to well. Even though that's a legit role X watch.

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Speaker 1: We are still short on time. I've got an idea.

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Speaker 1: Let's show our listeners my one of a kind legendary

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Speaker 1: knife collection. It's a podcast, so we can't really show

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Speaker 1: them anything. Well, you describe the knives and I'll tell

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Speaker 1: people a little bit about each one. When I worked

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Speaker 1: in radio, we had to paint pictures for our audience

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Speaker 1: all the time. So you can do it. It'll be fun. Okay, sure,

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Speaker 1: I guess if it gets us through the show. Um,

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Speaker 1: where is this one of a kind knife collection? Where

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Speaker 1: I always keep it in the trunk of my car?

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Speaker 1: So I'll just I'll just go get it and we

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Speaker 1: can we can take a Breakay, here we go. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, Oh my god, you keep all of those

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Speaker 1: knives in the trunk of your car? Yes, I do.

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Speaker 1: I need them in the trunk because I have to

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Speaker 1: take them to knife shows all over Southern California to

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Speaker 1: display and trade with other knife collectors. It's it's a

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Speaker 1: hobby and I enjoy it. Pick one anyone. Okay that one?

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Speaker 1: Oh boy, did you? Did you not understand me? You

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Speaker 1: need to paint a picture of the knife you're pointing

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Speaker 1: at and then I'll talk about it. Okay, yes, right,

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Speaker 1: talk about that one. It doesn't even have a blade,

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Speaker 1: and um, it's kind of wooden looking, but it doesn't

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Speaker 1: have a blade and there's a metal ring on it.

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Speaker 1: This is going to be rough. Yikes. Okay, say it's

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Speaker 1: wooden and has a ring on it. It does, however,

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Speaker 1: have a aid. It's a Boy Scout pocket knife. See

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Speaker 1: the blade folds out like this, I cut myself. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna need a band aid. No, biggie, are you okay?

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Speaker 1: It's nothing, barely got the skinned? Keep going. Uh? So

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Speaker 1: you were in the Boy Scouts. Of course I was.

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Speaker 1: It's a wonderful, time honored institution that teaches young boys

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Speaker 1: to be men through camping and woodcraft and first aid

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Speaker 1: and bird watching. I was an Eagle Scout for your information,

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Speaker 1: Is that special? It's a very big deal. Yes. So

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Speaker 1: that's not really a rare knife, not really, but it

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Speaker 1: does have an interesting story behind it. I joined the

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Speaker 1: Boy Scouts when I was about nine. I had been

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Speaker 1: a Cub Scout of course, so the transition was fairly easy.

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Speaker 1: I waited with heart pounding anticipation all summer long for

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Speaker 1: our first big inter troop jamboree. Every troop from the

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Speaker 1: whole state would be there, and not just the twenty

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Speaker 1: boys in my troop, but thousands of eager young scouts.

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Speaker 1: Our scout master was a man's man who knew everything

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Speaker 1: about camping and boating and making fires. We we called

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Speaker 1: him Mr Safely because if you ever were doing something dangerous,

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Speaker 1: he would come up from behind and hug you real

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Speaker 1: tight to keep you safe. Anyway, one night, after we

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Speaker 1: had roasted marshmallows and told scary stories, everyone went to bed.

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Speaker 1: Mr Safely asked if I could come to his tent

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Speaker 1: before going to bed. It was something a lot of

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Speaker 1: the boys did and was considered a real honor. There

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Speaker 1: was something you wanted to show me. Um, maybe we

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Speaker 1: can cut the story short. It doesn't seem like such

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Speaker 1: a good idea. Anyway, I got my PGS and I

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Speaker 1: went off to Mr. Safely's tent. He had a big

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Speaker 1: tent filled with candy and magazines and cool stuff, and

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Speaker 1: he offered me a candy and asked if I had

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Speaker 1: a girlfriend. Then he said he had something he wanted

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Speaker 1: to show me, something he was hiding in his shorts.

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Speaker 1: He told me to close my eyes, and then I

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Speaker 1: heard some rustling. When I opened my eyes, guess what

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Speaker 1: was sticking right in my face? Um? A wiener? Huh

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Speaker 1: what a wiener? No, no, you dummy? This pocket knife?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, a wiener. Where did you get that from? No?

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Speaker 1: He gave me my very first pocket knife. Yeah, he

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Speaker 1: gave him out to all the boys that we're doing good,

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Speaker 1: a weener. It's just you hear these stories about these

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Speaker 1: scout masters. I don't know what kind of stories you're

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Speaker 1: talking about. Pick another knife, weener, really, mr safely, seriously, here,

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Speaker 1: pick another knife. Describe it. Um, it's long, has leather,

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Speaker 1: and it's some jewels. Carolina. You really cannot paint a picture,

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Speaker 1: can you. That's called a gladius, and it's actually a

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Speaker 1: short Roman sword, or sometimes referred to incorrectly as a dagger.

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Speaker 1: I have daggers, hundreds of daggers, and this is no dagger.

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Speaker 1: The leather case is called a scabbard. And believe me,

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Speaker 1: you need the case because these things are two sided

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Speaker 1: and very sharp. This one I paid a pretty penny

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Speaker 1: for how much I bought it for around four dollars.

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Speaker 1: The jewels encrusted on the handles alone are worth maybe

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Speaker 1: a million dollars. A million dollars, I said, maybe, who knows.

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Speaker 1: But pay attention to the intricate details on the blade

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Speaker 1: when I when I take it out of the scabbard.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, darn it, I cut myself again. It's smart,

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Speaker 1: really does anyway. Ah, that's a beautiful knife and very sharp.

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Speaker 1: That's a sharp knife. Pick another one. What's the rusty

390
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 1: old one there? Don't just point well, it's long and

391
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 1: kind of rusty and has a weird, crooked looking handle.

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Speaker 1: What you're looking at is not the handle, but a

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Speaker 1: clip for sticking on the end of a gun. It's

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Speaker 1: called a bannet and was used in this nation's bloodiest war,

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Speaker 1: the Civil War. Why would you put a knife on

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Speaker 1: a gun? Wouldn't you just shoot the gun? It was

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Speaker 1: used in tight hand to hand combat when men were

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Speaker 1: upon each other so thick in battle that a loaded

399
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,639
Speaker 1: gun was useless. Many men died from the steel of

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Speaker 1: a bayonet like this one. Oh Carolina, The vengeance that

401
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:31,919
Speaker 1: looks in the black bosom of mankind has caused untold

402
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 1: mysteries over the centuries. What evil dough men do with

403
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 1: in the name of righteous balla a blood red history

404
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:47,159
Speaker 1: is red larger palmer winds of tibe. Here inscribing this

405
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 1: bayonet lies the deadly cost of all shameful wickedness. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So how does it go on a gun? Simple? You

407
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Speaker 1: grab the bayonet here, and you make sure not to

408
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 1: touch the boy, don't. I got myself again, more band aids. Please,

409
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:09,880
Speaker 1: let's just stop. Stop pick that one, okay. Uh, tell

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Speaker 1: me something about that knife. It looks like a butter knife.

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Speaker 1: It is a butter knife, and as you know, butter

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Speaker 1: knives are not sharp. They are for spreading butter on toast.

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Speaker 1: I swiped this butter knife from a fancy five star

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Speaker 1: seafood restaurant called the Red Lobster. It's pure silver and

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00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 1: worth quite a lot of money. The restaurant closed down

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Speaker 1: some time ago, so I don't think they'll be coming

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Speaker 1: after me. Really, I think there are red Lobsters everywhere. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you don't know what you're talking about. No,

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00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: it's a chain. There are thousands of them. Agree to

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00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 1: disagree anyway. It's a one of a kind. Butter knife

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00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 1: from that hard to believe it, but I just cut

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00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,880
Speaker 1: myself with a butter knife. Your hands are looking really bad.

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00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 1: It's normal whenever I show my knife collection, I get

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00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: cut up. I can't be helped. Moving on. What's the

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00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 1: round thing with like five knives coming out of it? Yes,

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00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:06,880
Speaker 1: it's a Japanese throwing star, one of the deadliest silent

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00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 1: killers in all of combat. My friend ken Yashimoto sold

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00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 1: that to me for ten thousand dollars. It's lineage is uncertain,

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00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: but goes back to the earliest days of the Samurai warriors.

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00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 1: Don't pick that up. It says made in China. Here

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00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 1: on this side, right here that sticker as was true.

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00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 1: I'm sure some of the some of the best metal

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00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 1: smiths from the twelfth century were from mainland China. Put

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00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 1: it down carefully, Carolina. Each blade is its own, meticulously

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00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 1: sharpened knife. I thought maybe I should hold the knives

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00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 1: from now on. Don't be an idiot give me that.

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00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to give it to me. Now you

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00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: cut me that time, that's on you. We quit. No

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00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: pick another knife. I'm slur everyone is interested. Pig one,

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00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 1: you're a little white Okay, that one that looks like

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00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 1: a metal bat. It's called a caral Bit knife is

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00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 1: the tech tactical knife for I've lost a lot of blood.

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00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 1: I can see it now. It's it's an old dirt

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00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 1: road leading to a little country church. I want to

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00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 1: go there, Carolina, it's it looks beautiful. Run run, Carolina.

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00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 1: What are you doing here? Why are in this white room?

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00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 1: My head feels like a spongy balloon area? Look at all.

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00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,479
Speaker 1: The Ron Burgundy Podcast is a production of I Heart Radio.

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00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:51,640
Speaker 1: I'm Ron Burgundy. The host, writer and executive producer. Carolina

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00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 1: Barlow is my co host, writer and producer. Our producer

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00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 1: is Nick Stump. Our talent coordinator is an a host.

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00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 1: Gang writers are Andrew Steele and Jake Fogoless. This episode

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Speaker 1: was engineered, mixed, and edited by Nick Stuff. Until next Time,

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Speaker 1: Mrs Ron Burgundy, m