WEBVTT - Single Parents with Kimrie Lewis 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:04.440 He I suck Good Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:10.400 and I Heart radio podcast. Hello everyone, welcome to a 0:00:10.400 --> 0:00:13.160 new episode of help by Second Dating. I'm Jared Haven, 0:00:13.280 --> 0:00:17.080 joined by the beautiful of Vanesso Grimaldi, Dean. Hi, guys. 0:00:17.400 --> 0:00:19.960 Dean Anglert is not in studio right now. He's running 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:22.400 a little bit late, and our first guest canceled on this, 0:00:22.480 --> 0:00:25.239 so we're really just winging it right now. Pretty good, 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:26.800 So we do best. Yeah, I feel like that's what 0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:30.000 we do best. Vanessa, how are you? How's everything? I'm good. 0:00:30.480 --> 0:00:32.760 It's finally a sunny day. And if you can see 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:34.640 my outside my window right now, but it's finally a 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:37.080 sunny day Montreal. It's been brutal March. I feel like 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:39.200 I don't know what it's like back in Lex. Thank 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:41.239 you forgetting what what what nice weather is like. But 0:00:41.400 --> 0:00:43.960 March is just brutal because you think winter is over, 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:47.400 and for anyone that lives in a city or country 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:51.000 that has snow, you can totally understand my pain. It's 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:52.599 like I just can't wait for a sprint to come 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:55.440 along and for me to have some sort of energy back. 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:59.160 March sucks, Mark, I remember mart Island. March is the 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:03.880 worst because every but he just assumes that snow is December, January, February, 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:06.640 and then March comes and weather changes and it doesn't 0:01:06.680 --> 0:01:09.319 because it just hits you. It's like blind sides you 0:01:09.360 --> 0:01:12.520 with snow because you think here springs right around the corner, 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:15.840 and then boom, eight inches of snow. Yeah. Well, we 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:19.480 say an Italian matso pazzo, which basically means March is 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:21.640 crazy because you never know. There's always that one last 0:01:21.640 --> 0:01:24.080 snowfall that you're going to get, and I feel like 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:27.280 it's probably gonna happen someday soon, and then it's going 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:29.360 to be like a week of spring in Montreal, and 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:31.760 then summer is going to be for two months. Always 0:01:31.840 --> 0:01:33.800 one upping me. She has to speak a town on 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:38.600 this podcast. I speak too language. I speak English and 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:41.880 bad English. Do you notice to my Rhode Island accents? Sometimes? 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:44.720 You know what the thing about Rhoe Islanders? Yeah, it's bad. 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:48.480 I hate myself for it because sometimes I'll add ours 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:52.400 to words I don't even know why, and then sometimes 0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:54.760 I'll drop ours from words that are supposed to be there, 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:58.160 like ca pok. You know, that's kind of like the 0:01:58.200 --> 0:02:00.560 Boston side of me. I think We're Island has its 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:04.040 own unique language, though I find myself sometimes saying ours 0:02:04.080 --> 0:02:07.680 and words that just don't belong and I don't know why, 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:11.480 and it makes me feel like a big dummy. But 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:13.320 that's okay. What are you gonna go far from a dummy? 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:15.760 You don't feel like I have an accent when I speak, um, 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:18.240 what do you do? What you do is you pronounce 0:02:18.280 --> 0:02:22.440 your words very very well, like when you say important, 0:02:23.200 --> 0:02:25.880 you know, you pronounce your tease and make sure that 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:30.320 I haven't mean to bring something up to you there 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:32.160 is I can't remember what we were talking about, but 0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:35.080 a couple of weeks back, you were talking about what 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:39.280 we in America would call exzema, but you said exem yeah, 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:41.160 and I was like, oh god, I think Vanessa saying 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:42.959 because I'm a man, I wanted to correct you. I's like, 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:44.720 oh my god, Vanessa saying it wrong. Oh I should 0:02:44.720 --> 0:02:47.840 say something, but kept to myself and then I texted 0:02:47.880 --> 0:02:50.519 my my brother in law, who is from uh He's 0:02:50.600 --> 0:02:53.960 from Manitoba. I was like, how do you say this word? 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:56.560 And I said, I wrote at zema and he wrote 0:02:56.639 --> 0:02:59.320 he sent back exeema. I'm like Oh, that's that's a 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:02.200 Canadian thing. I had no idea. Yeah, we make up 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:04.120 our own. I thought it was more about what really 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:06.720 because we speak to languages and sometimes I get confused. 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:09.400 Like I remember on the show when we're filming The Bachelor, 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:13.040 I was on the couch like right before I think 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:15.639 it was the last date before the engagement episode, and 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:18.600 I was talking to Nick. They didn't air this because 0:03:18.680 --> 0:03:21.280 he stopped and he started laughing everyone started laughing at me. 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:23.640 I was like, I feel so stupid. Wait, how do 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:26.079 I say it? Contribute? But you got but the real 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:29.480 way things contribute? Yeah, And he just I was like 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:32.000 talking about I want to be able to contribute to 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:34.480 the relationship and blah blah blah blah. And I was 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:36.360 really into what I was talking about, and he just 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:39.920 tasked me. He's like, contribute and I was like, what 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:43.080 are you talking about? You mean contribute? English is such 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:46.640 a weird language. Think about Well, anyway, I guess we should. 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:48.560 I guess we should talk about dating stuff, right, I 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:50.920 don't know. This is a podcast about relationships and stuff. 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:53.520 There was an article, actually, Vanessa that I saw you 0:03:53.600 --> 0:03:57.520 brought to my attention about bad Boyfriend Alert did you 0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:01.240 see this. Honestly, you saw because you're the one who 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:04.400 presented to me. So there's an article on It's the 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:07.240 Taco the Taco dot com. I don't know what that is, 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:11.440 but of course headlines bad boyfriend if he does ten 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:16.840 of these twenty things run for the hills. Uh wait, 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:18.240 did you read them? Because there's some of them that 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:21.200 I'm like, I think there's some guys that I've dated 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:22.960 that did hit ten of them, but I'm like, they're 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:25.840 not through. They weren't bad boyfriends. But let's look at them. 0:04:25.880 --> 0:04:28.760 So the like number twenty, he makes his girl feel 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:32.000 guilty for being happy. I think that this is just 0:04:32.200 --> 0:04:36.840 bad characteristics of a bad human being. Like, that's what 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:39.520 it is. Like a lot of these things are like 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:41.839 he makes his girl feel guilty for being happy. Yeah, 0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:45.200 that's just being in you know, Yeah, exactly. And then 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:47.240 the other one too, he disappoints her every time they 0:04:47.240 --> 0:04:51.600 make plans. Number eighteen he constantly texts his ex. But 0:04:51.720 --> 0:04:54.080 they're just friends. Listen, if you're in a relationship and 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:58.159 some dude, whether actually whoever it is, boy girl, doesn't 0:04:58.160 --> 0:05:01.840 matter if they're texting their ex. Big problem, big red 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:06.080 fire you mentioned and you were honest about how you 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:08.760 were still friends with an ex of yours an X 0:05:08.760 --> 0:05:11.239 who and sorry, not an ex? No, you're I'm getting 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:16.960 this story wrong. You're your best friend is a female? Yes, so, 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:19.640 well one of my closest friends. Yeah, her name is Crystal. 0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:24.760 I've been friends with her for a while. Um And well, actually, 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:27.000 well here's the thing. So when actually and I first 0:05:27.040 --> 0:05:31.120 became friends, actually couldn't understand the concept that I was 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:34.159 really close friends with this particular girl and we're both single, 0:05:34.640 --> 0:05:36.720 because she just assumed that this girl must have had 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:39.040 a crush on me, which was never the case. And 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:41.839 then she met Crystal and found out that it was 0:05:41.880 --> 0:05:44.719 so much more of a brother sister relationship than anything else. 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:48.400 And she's not an X at all, Like I I 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:50.719 I used to be friends with my ex. Um. But 0:05:50.800 --> 0:05:52.919 I think when you're in a relationship, unfortunately, it just 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:56.520 has to change on both sides because it makes the 0:05:56.520 --> 0:06:00.320 other person feel uncomfortable. Yeah, And I think, and I say, 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:02.520 there's no reason we're in twenty nineteen now, there's no 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:05.000 reason of having to completely hate the person that you 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:07.400 dated in order to move on from a relationship. I 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:10.800 think you have to forgive forgive yourself for you know, 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:13.559 the feelings that you had, and then forgive the person 0:06:13.640 --> 0:06:16.160 for what they did to you, and you can still 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:23.040 have an amicable is that an English word? Amicable? Amicable relationship, 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:28.560 amicable relationship? Um. I I'm really good friends with one 0:06:28.800 --> 0:06:31.960 X of mine who basically right after the show aired, 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:34.040 he he was the only ex that called me and 0:06:34.520 --> 0:06:36.960 texted me and was super supportive. And I was like, 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:39.240 I'm buying your u r L named Vanessa gamalta dot 0:06:39.240 --> 0:06:41.560 com before someone else takes it, and he was just 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:47.000 really supportive and then yeah, um, and you know, but 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:51.360 whenever I'm in like a relationship, he understands, and I 0:06:51.440 --> 0:06:55.200 understand whenever he's in a relationship that the texting is 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:59.600 not frequent or almost stops completely. Um, And there's no 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:01.640 there's no hard feelings there, don't you find though it's 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:03.479 easier to move on from a breakup if you hate 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:07.320 the other person. I know, but that's that's yes, that 0:07:09.160 --> 0:07:12.600 but it makes sense though, Like, Okay, let's say Jared, 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:15.400 you are okay, Let's say I break up with this 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:17.280 guy that I'm dating now okay, because you guys are engaged. 0:07:17.320 --> 0:07:18.720 I don't even want to put that like bad Judo 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:20.400 on you and Ashley. So let's say the guy that 0:07:20.440 --> 0:07:22.360 I'm no bad jud So let's say the guy I 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:24.400 am dating now breaks up with me. It would be 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:27.440 so much easier for me to like hate his guts 0:07:27.480 --> 0:07:31.440 in order to just like totally think all the bad 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:34.120 things that he's done or turn like turn off all 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:36.280 the good stuff that that has happened in our relationship 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:38.560 and in order to move on just like, oh, I'm 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:40.440 better off without him. No no, no, no no no, but 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:42.360 I want to And that's like the old men And 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:45.400 I'm really honest about this, but it's so much healthier 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:50.120 for you in order to appreciate the person for the 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:54.240 positives that they've given you. Yeah, And I just find 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:57.760 the yes and no. Because I went through a breakup 0:07:57.760 --> 0:07:59.640 in my early twenties with somebody that was dying for 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:02.640 very long time, who's the most wonderful person, and there 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:04.960 was no reason for the breakup. It just felt like 0:08:05.000 --> 0:08:07.600 it was time to go our separate ways. And I'm 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:10.800 it took honestly, probably about eight months between the time 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:14.679 that we broke up to really cut it off because 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:17.000 there wasn't any reason for each other to hate one another. 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:20.680 It was it just the feelings were there as strong 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:22.720 as they used to be, and we were growing apart 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:26.080 and we were going in two different directions. And I 0:08:26.360 --> 0:08:29.240 found at that time other people going through breakups where 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:31.280 they had a reason to hate that person they were 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:33.440 breaking up with, and it was so much easier for 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:36.200 them to move on than for me, because I didn't 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:39.000 hate this person. I truly love them as human being, 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:40.400 but I just don't think I was in love with 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:44.280 them anymore. So it was this this long, horrible, exhausting 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:47.360 breakup that ended up taking like eight months to finally 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:50.160 really cut the cord. Because you want to just sugarcoat 0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:53.480 around everything. That's so funny that you mentioned so breakups 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:56.679 and heartbreak. And I was reading this article and I 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:59.200 wanted to find out and I'm switching articles now, but 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:03.079 I wanted to find out why women. I feel like 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:08.280 women suffer from heartbreak more than men. And I was 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:11.400 trying to figure out why that was and why I 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:14.720 was always as hopeless romantic and I still am why I, 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:18.680 you know, always picture this like romantic life that I 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:20.400 was going to have with this guy who was just 0:09:20.400 --> 0:09:22.680 going to sweep me off my feet, and it was, 0:09:22.720 --> 0:09:24.960 there was never gonna be any red flags and life 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:27.600 would have been perfect. And then I'm like, all these 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:31.240 freaking Disney movies I used to watch where Cinderella or 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:35.160 The Sleeping Beauty or whoever, like, it's always a man 0:09:35.320 --> 0:09:38.960 coming in to save the woman and you know he 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:41.400 ends up like being this super romantic guy at the 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:43.880 end of the movie. And then if you like, graduate 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:46.360 from Disney movies to rom comms and it's always a 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:50.280 happy ending at the movie. That's not real life. Yeah, 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:53.320 well those you know, those movies just playoff of gender roles, 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:56.600 which we need more of in today's society. That was 0:09:56.640 --> 0:10:04.280 a joke, that was, but it's true. And then I 0:10:04.320 --> 0:10:07.120 was reading up on what actually is a heartbreak and 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:12.480 they were saying heartbreak is um is. So basically, in 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:16.200 a heartbroken syndrome, stress hormones caused the heart to enlarge, 0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:19.280 which affects the ability to pump blood, which is kind 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:23.559 of like a mini heart attack. So there's I mean, 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:26.920 it's a classic symptom of a heart attack. Medically it 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:29.040 is a mini heart attack. Well I don't know if 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:31.520 it's actually a mini heart attack, but it's a symptom 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:35.600 of what a heart attack can feel like, yeah, it's 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:37.880 not a wild Well this is where I read online 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:41.240 and you know you can't. It's obviously true. Yeah, exactly 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:44.200 like my birthdays on the twenty nine. So you're saying 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:50.240 there's science to why women feel more heartache during a breakup. No, 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:52.200 I was just trying to understand what isn't that? What 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:54.120 is you know? Because when you have a heartbreak and 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:56.360 you've experienced this before, it's just like pain that you 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:59.280 can't really describe unless you've gone through it. And I 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:01.400 keep getting it's like, oh, have you ever been through 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:04.319 a heartbreak? I am the queen of getting my heartbroken, 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:07.920 So yes, I under I totally empathize whenever someone comes 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:09.839 to me and they have a story of you know, 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:13.480 a relationship that didn't end up working out, and truly 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:16.800 the only thing that helps. And I hate saying this, 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:18.880 and I hate when anyone tells me this because that's 0:11:18.920 --> 0:11:22.160 not what you want to hear. It's time time heals all. 0:11:22.559 --> 0:11:24.800 Whether that's like for you, Jared, it was eight months 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:26.600 to get over someone that you didn't hate, but you 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:28.520 just fell out of love with, or you just weren't 0:11:28.520 --> 0:11:32.480 really into, or if it's someone that really did you 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:35.640 wrong and it might take you I don't know, two weeks, 0:11:35.679 --> 0:11:40.520 a month. It's just time heals a broken heart, and 0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:42.400 it's the worst thing that you want to hear. Yeah, 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:44.760 time does heal everything. You know what's funny about time? 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:46.600 You want to know? It's really funny about a time. 0:11:47.200 --> 0:11:49.520 We have a time that this podcast starts at right, 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:51.840 and we want to start on time now. In order 0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:57.960 to start on time, we need you. Look who decided 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:02.040 to join the party? Therey is Hey, hey, everyone, fill 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:06.600 me on what I missed. We were just talking about love, heartbreak, relationships, time, time. 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:09.559 It's all about time, really, Dean? How are you? What 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:11.560 was going on? Why are we late? I'm sorry for 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:13.680 being late, you guys. It's okay. What happened out at 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:15.400 the fan He's going to be living in You know 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:18.320 that traffic in l A just sometimes sneaks up on? No, no, no, 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:20.040 I need you to give me a thirty second story 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:22.400 as to why you're late. I needed to be completely false, 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:25.160 but give me a good one. Oh man, No, come 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:30.839 on that thirty seconds Dean. What walk of shame were 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:33.559 you doing? I'm exhausted today, you guys. Again, I apologize 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:36.600 for being late. I just spent the weekend with Peter 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:40.360 and Alex and I just exhausted. How is dear Peter 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:43.760 and Alex? You know they're doing really well. Um, Peter 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:46.400 Who and Alex Who? Peter Kraft and Alex bordakov A. 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:48.520 Right there we go, two gentlemen for my season. Is 0:12:48.559 --> 0:12:52.199 Alex doing Paradise? He is Australian Paradise, the same one 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:54.880 you saw, so I saw because you tagged him and 0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:57.160 I looked at his Instagram and I saw him post 0:12:57.160 --> 0:12:59.679 a picture it said Bachelor in Paradise and I thought, 0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:01.920 to my they haven't enough the cast yet. So for 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:04.760 the listeners out there, there's an Australian Bachelor in Paradise 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:07.200 and Alex along with a couple of other Americans are 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:08.840 going to be down there. This because Jared did that 0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:11.160 last year. Yeah, I did it last year before Ashley 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:13.120 and I got together, when she did win two games. 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:16.400 I did Bachelor and Paradise Australia the same thing, um. 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:17.719 And it's funny because he filled me in on a 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:20.040 lot of what happened down there, and obviously being on 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:22.520 a beach and Fiji for a month sounds amazing. Um, 0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:23.920 but it just sounds a little bit different than the 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:27.079 experience that we had with the US Bachelor Paradis and 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:29.040 you've done both, I guess, so you would know. Well, 0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:32.160 it was different. I heard so some cast members that 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:34.600 were on my season of Bachelor in Paradise Australia went 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:36.440 back and I talked to him a little bit about it, 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:38.240 and they said that they were a little bit more 0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:41.080 strict this time around, because in the season I went to, 0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:43.360 it was a free for all pretty much. It was 0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:46.319 crazy because on the American version of Paradise, you were 0:13:46.320 --> 0:13:49.720 on camera legitimately cameras. Dean, you can attest this in 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:51.560 your rooms, they wake you up at eight o'clock in 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:53.080 the morning with a camera in your face. You go 0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:54.600 to bed at two o'clock in the morning, there's still 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:58.920 a camera there. With Bachelor in Paradise Australia. Literally, remember, 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:00.839 I'd wake up at like end in the morning. That's 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:02.559 what's That's what he was telling me. Pay on down 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:06.280 to the breakfast place. There were no cameras, nobody's miked up, 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:10.040 but everybody's hanging out talking about what happened the night previous. 0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:14.200 And then I remember being mind boggled because we're talking 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:17.920 about serious things that happened at rose ceremonies and cocktail parties, 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:20.920 none of it being captured, and then like one o'clock 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:22.640 in the afternoon, they'd be like, all right, guys, let's 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:24.600 get miked up, and then they would put us in 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:27.040 these chats and like, Okay, let's talk about what happened 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:29.000 last night, like what we already did, but I guess 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:31.600 we'll talk about it again. So it just didn't feel 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:33.480 as authentic because it wasn't the first time we were 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:34.920 talking about it. So that's exactly what he said to 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:36.840 He was like, Yeah, I wouldn't, you know, be for 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:38.920 not forced, but I wouldn't be required to do anything 0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:41.320 on camera until about noon every single day. And I'm like, 0:14:41.400 --> 0:14:44.760 that's a night and day difference to Bachelor in Paradise US, 0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:47.120 because it's like you said, you're up at eight am, Um, 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:49.560 you're Mike basically the second your foot step touches the 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:53.120 ground after leaving your bed. Um. But yeah, I mean 0:14:53.360 --> 0:14:55.160 it sounds like it's fun fies. You obviously would be 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:57.600 a blast. Um. Do you know who else went down there? 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:00.640 Are you allowed to say? No? I don't know. I 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:02.160 don't know. Am I allowed to say I don't know. 0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:05.160 Let's not even go down that road. Is it somebody 0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:13.160 that's been on Paradise, the American version that the two Americans, 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:15.520 all three Americans including Alex, that go down there? Um? 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:17.920 Did you watch your Australian Paradise season when it was airing? 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:21.160 H No, I did not, because it was I was 0:15:21.200 --> 0:15:24.960 with Ashley at this point. So we filmed in November 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:29.040 of seen and then it didn't start airing I think 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:33.480 until like April or met something like that, because it 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:36.080 was so different because with Winter Games with you guys, 0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:38.920 you guys filmed in December to air February. February a 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:40.680 month and a half later, and so mine was a 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:43.560 little bit weirder, and also I couldn't really I watched 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:46.200 some clips of it, A lot of it was on YouTube. Um, 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:47.760 but obviously I was with Ashley at the time, so 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:49.600 I didn't really want to revisit a time I was in. 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:51.480 But you didn't kiss anyone or anything like that. Now, 0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:53.880 I was there for two weeks, went through five rows ceremonies, 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:56.240 did not kiss a girl, did not kiss anybody, and 0:15:56.600 --> 0:16:00.160 from what I understand through Alex's uh explanation of it all, 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:02.160 it seems like the Americans are brought in kind of 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:05.880 as novelties, right, Like the Australian UM viewers don't really 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:08.280 care about the American cast members. They care about obviously 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:11.440 the Australians that they've seen on Bachelor, Bachelorette UM or 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:13.200 the I guess the newcomers that they bring in as well, 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:16.040 and then the Americans are they're just basically not like 0:16:16.080 --> 0:16:18.760 to be made fun of, but just essentially as a novelty, like, oh, 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:21.200 look at this American we brought into Like yeah, well 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:23.720 they were going to bring in Australian contestants to the 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:26.840 American version on your season as novelties as well as 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:29.400 just like outsiders. But then obviously you're kind of stu. 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:32.800 You know that whole thing went down with do you 0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:35.000 know Courtney Dover was supposed to come down to Bachelor 0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:37.040 Paradise on my season. Yeah, he was at the hotel. 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:39.560 He's at the hotel. Never went down, and then that's 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:43.400 the Bachelorette Bachelor in Paradise, so he never came down 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:45.800 the steps because obviously there's that big um shut down 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:47.480 for like a week and a half, and then that's why, 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:48.880 well that's not why, but then they were like, Okay, 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:52.640 we're gonna have you come on Winter Games No Courtney, Yes, yes, Yeah. 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:54.760 It was funny because there was a girl that was 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:56.840 on my season in Paradise, Kira, who's supposed to go 0:16:56.880 --> 0:16:58.720 on the American version in the hotel same thing is 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:04.480 called anti the villain or something. She was. She's fan dude, 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:07.399 She's awesome. She's just one of those people you know, 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:11.480 like it's hard to compare in contras. But like Ashley 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:14.240 was kind of like the villain of her season, not 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:16.160 really but just like dramatic. Nobody liked her, and then 0:17:16.320 --> 0:17:18.000 not nobody liked her, but and then she went on 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:19.919 Paradise and everybody fell in love with her. Right the 0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:22.119 same thing with Kira, where like on her season she 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:25.480 causes drama, she's a little like scandalous, and then you 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:27.520 know they end up loving her because she's just real 0:17:27.560 --> 0:17:30.040 and authentic and crazy and it's fantastic. So why don't 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:32.840 you Kira on bechelor in Paradise Australia because it was 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:37.640 there was not that romantic chemistry, but I loved being 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:41.400 around her best. Romantic chemistry obviously is very important, very important, 0:17:41.400 --> 0:17:43.720 as we all three of us know too well. But 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:47.720 before we move on, my name is h ov h 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:51.920 to the ov that that that Tom Brady runs out 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:54.080 to that song. Just keep just keep talking. Sorry, I 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:56.639 keep doing your thing anyway. You guys heard about joy Bird, 0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:58.760 have you? Guys? Of course we've heard. Well I've heard 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.840 about joy Bird. Well I've are you redecorating your home? Um? Yeah, 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:04.600 actually just ordered a couch from them? Really what kind 0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:06.720 of couch? I can't remember the exact name and model 0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:09.919 of it, but it's like this, Heather Gray beautiful couch. 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:12.359 I want a great couch so badly. Tanner and I 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:14.640 was just over Tanner in Jade's house and they got 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:16.959 a brand new couch. I can't remember if I got 0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:18.199 it from joy Burn or not, but it is the 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:21.800 most comfortable thing. And honestly, the problem is our couch 0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:24.119 at the condo right now smells like because we got 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:27.520 a puppy. She peas everywhere. And here's the problem. She 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:31.080 peas everywhere, and now our other dog, Gurgey, who's five, 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:36.160 smells her peep want to mark his territory exactly. So now, dude, 0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:37.720 it's horrible. We well, how long have you had this 0:18:37.720 --> 0:18:39.159 new dog for you? I feel like you should have 0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:40.920 your potty train by now. She is potty trained, but 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:44.879 apparently so she is about nine months. We got her 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:50.040 back in September. She's potty trained, but she started reverting back, 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:55.080 going back, peeing inside, barking at people, and we were 0:18:55.119 --> 0:18:57.880 looking it up and dogs can have adolescent years, so 0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:01.120 she's kind of like a teenager, right, she's like lashing back. 0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:03.680 She's lashing back a little bit. So it's causing a 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:05.119 little bit of an issue with the couch, which is 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:07.320 why we need a new couch. But the great thing 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:10.280 is now we have joy Bird, and we all know 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:13.040 that you guys have heard about the revolution and online 0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:16.119 furniture shopping. It's all about joy Bird and that is 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.399 the company behind it because joy Bird believes that you 0:19:18.400 --> 0:19:21.280 should never settle when it comes to your home furnishings 0:19:21.400 --> 0:19:23.480 and that you should always have the freedom to be 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:27.480 boldly original. Vanessa, When I hear the phrase boldly original, 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:29.679 I think of you, and I don't know why, really, 0:19:29.680 --> 0:19:31.639